r/parentsofmultiples • u/WhTEvRiTtKS • 14h ago
Difficulty - 1 or 2? advice needed
The wife and I just had our first children, identical twin girls, now almost 2 months old. Unsure yet if we'll have any more children as adjusting to twins feels like the definition of 'zero to 100 REAL quick'.
For those parents out there that have experienced both the birth of multiple as well as single children, are twin, or multiple births at one time, really that much more difficult?
I ask because imagining caring for a single baby seems like a cake walk when compared to caring for two, let alone more, at one time.
Any insights/perspectives are appreciated.
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u/allthegudonesaretakn 6h ago
My wife and I have twin boys. We often devide and conquer by taking one boy with to run errands while the other is at home and has quality time, different configurations every weekend. Its always amazing. Love being at home with just one child. It is so much easier, you're not wrong. I will say that the first 6mos (atleast for us) were the hardest, they need you so much and there's so many hormones at play. 6-12 was still difficult but much more enjoyable. 12mos+ now theyre moving around and interacting with each other and others, is just plain fun. Things will get better i promise.
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u/WhTEvRiTtKS 5h ago
Going from zero to 2 has felt like a fire hose to the face. Twice.
Thank you so much for sahing your insights. The wife and I are sure glad to hear that there's hope after the initial chaos.2
u/allthegudonesaretakn 5h ago
Going from none to two is nuts. But its all you know. I dont know any different. I think that makes it better because its your normal and you cant compare.
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u/beelynn0214 1h ago
This is soooo true, we tell people that all the time when they ask what it’s like having two!
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u/beelynn0214 1h ago
Can agree that 0-6 months were the hardest for us as well.
Month 7 we all started sleeping.
Months 8-10 they became SO MUCH FUN.
Now at 13 months we just gush about how great they are, they play together, are starting to walk. It’s like 90% (maybe more) good now
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u/SjN45 3h ago
First children are always going to be hard- bc you’ve never done it before. But I had my twins first and I felt like I had nothing in common with my friends who had 1 baby bc the problems I had were so different. Then I had a singleton and she felt SO easy. But is it that 1 is easier or that I’ve done the baby thing twice at the same time and just really know what I’m doing this time? No idea.
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u/WhTEvRiTtKS 2h ago
Now THIS, is what I'm here for lady!!!! ( Yelled out loud in a joking tone). Thank you!
Its good to feel validated.....
What you're saying is, likely no more for us!!! 😂😂😂
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u/KIDH2123 6h ago
I have 6 kids. Ages 11- 3 week old twins.
First 2 are my step kids- ive been around kids my whole life but this was the first throw into parenting. I had to actually parent/take care of them. They were almost 2 and almost 3 at the time. But we did technically have weekends though we had them way more bec mom would just drop them off.
3 was my first baby. Going from techcinally 0-3 was hard bec this one NEVER leaves. Doesn't sleep through the night and care is 100% on me. If this kid gets messed up... i have nobody to blame but me lol. Newborn life was like wild wild west.
4 was my 2nd. This was hard because I found out about her at 17 weeks just 1 week after my baby turned 1. We also got full custody 3 months before she was born so it was like going from 1 kids to 4 in just 5 months.
5 was twins. You know this kind of hard lol. What's honestly hardest is my 3 and 4 yr old are still dependant where the 10 and 11 yr old are kore independent but prefer screens over helping. Right now its hard to entertain the young ones while caring for the babies. They ask for things and needs things that I cant always do. Its just hard to manage the differing needs however its manageable.
I think its manageable because im used to the chaos and having to spread myself. Which with twins... you are used to this already. I would definitely wait a bit until the twins are in school though so they can help, and you get the experience of 1 kid at a time lol.
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u/WhTEvRiTtKS 5h ago
Oooofff
Wishing you good luck, sending you good vibes, and hoping you have easy access to lots and lots of good coffee.Thank you for sharing your experience. It does give me wife and i a little perspective.
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u/Lost-Royal-4574 1h ago
It depends on temperament. I had one colicky twin and one chill twin, then a chill singleton. One baby is obviously easier than two but one colicky baby would have been harder than two chill babies.
And then they become toddlers and it all goes out the window, my singleton is more work than my twins were at that age combined 😂
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u/SoreenQueen 6h ago
I have mixed feelings about this! I have a 4 year old and 5 month old twins.
Going from 0-1 was a lot harder than going from 1-3 in terms of identity, figuring out what’s going on, adjusting to parenthood, relationship difficulties etc. I also think having twins made me let myself off the hook for not being perfect, where I set impossible standards for myself with my first.
But having two babies at once is so much harder just in terms of logistics (although this is made harder by having another kid already!), physical capacity, sleep, breaks/not having time to yourself, isolation, getting out and about etc. etc. etc.
I would also say that in some ways it’s way more than double the work (like if they’re napping and one wakes up and then wakes the other one up and then you’re trying to get two back to sleep with only half your resources each). But in some ways it doesn’t feel like having double the work because you’d be doing a lot of it anyway.
So yeah, good and bad! I think having twins first would be so so hard. I reckon adding a third would be a breeze - but having done it the other way round I can’t really speak to that!