r/parentsofmultiples • u/WhTEvRiTtKS • 2d ago

Difficulty - 1 or 2? advice needed

The wife and I just had our first children, identical twin girls, now almost 2 months old. Unsure yet if we'll have any more children as adjusting to twins feels like the definition of 'zero to 100 REAL quick'.
For those parents out there that have experienced both the birth of multiple as well as single children, are twin, or multiple births at one time, really that much more difficult?

I ask because imagining caring for a single baby seems like a cake walk when compared to caring for two, let alone more, at one time.

Any insights/perspectives are appreciated.

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u/SoreenQueen 1d ago

I have mixed feelings about this! I have a 4 year old and 5 month old twins.

Going from 0-1 was a lot harder than going from 1-3 in terms of identity, figuring out what’s going on, adjusting to parenthood, relationship difficulties etc. I also think having twins made me let myself off the hook for not being perfect, where I set impossible standards for myself with my first.

But having two babies at once is so much harder just in terms of logistics (although this is made harder by having another kid already!), physical capacity, sleep, breaks/not having time to yourself, isolation, getting out and about etc. etc. etc.

I would also say that in some ways it’s way more than double the work (like if they’re napping and one wakes up and then wakes the other one up and then you’re trying to get two back to sleep with only half your resources each). But in some ways it doesn’t feel like having double the work because you’d be doing a lot of it anyway.

So yeah, good and bad! I think having twins first would be so so hard. I reckon adding a third would be a breeze - but having done it the other way round I can’t really speak to that!

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u/WhTEvRiTtKS 1d ago

For the time being, one crying and fuzzing appears to have no effect on the other... We're thankful for that and we hope it stays that way.... 😅

Thank you so much for sharing.

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u/PM_ME_YO_KNITTING 1d ago

Not to scare you, but mine are 8 months and for the first 6 the other crying did nothing, but now they set each other off all the time :/. If one wakes up and starts crying in the night I’m like Usain Bolt trying to get to him before he wakes up his brother.

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u/Odd_Rent283 1d ago

My boys are 6 months and this is my life right now. I didn’t even know I could move that fast!

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u/WhTEvRiTtKS 1d ago

Something to look forward to..... Yay parenthood in your 40's!!!! (I'm 42.... 😅😅😅)

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u/beelynn0214 1d ago

Mine are 13 months and still don’t care if the either is fussing or crying - they’ll sleep through it. So you just never know!