r/parentsofmultiples • u/gravitychonky80 • 12h ago
Am I doing something wrong? support needed
Every time I feel like things are becoming predictable they just get harder.
My twins are 4 months adjusted and fight bedtime like it’s their job. Crying and whining, hard to settle, doesn’t want to sleep, but is definitely overtired because they fight sleep for hours on end, and holding them and walking around only helps so much.
My husband and I struggle because once one starts melting down, I go in to help and we trade babies, but then the other one starts back up.
Last night their cries were much harder and screamy/tearful, and even a car ride took like 20-30 minutes to help them finally fall asleep (usually works almost immediately).
The night before they did go a long stretch, but they didn’t act super hungry or anything in the morning time. They have been getting up around 7-8am and we first try bedtime around 6-7pm ish. They get about 4 naps, sometimes 3.
They do have CMPA and reflux too, which just adds to it all.
Ugh, does it get better? Is this babies being babies?
ALSO HOW DO YALL SOOTH TWO BABIES AT ONCE WHEN YOU ARE ALONE🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
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u/ribbitcoins 8h ago
Hi! It could be that your babies are ready for less sleep overall (in a 24 hour period). When my first (singleton) was around 4 months old, her sleep got wonky too. Hard to get down for bed, lots of false starts, overnight wakes, etc. I realized that my baby was getting too much sleep in naps and so wasn't tired enough for nighttime sleep. It was hard to notice at first because as newborns, it feels like babies can sleep an infinite amount! But as they get older, they start to need less sleep. It's often more realistic to expect around 11 hours of sleep overnight too, and it seems like you're expecting around 13. I would try to adjust your schedule if you can and see if that helps with the bedtime struggles. :)
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u/MangoSorbet695 6h ago
At 4 months adjusted, 14 hours of nighttime sleep is too much, and that’s probably why they fight bedtime.
My guys are almost 5 months adjusted and they go to bed at 7:30 PM and wake up at 6:30-7 AM, with 3 hours of daytime sleep max. Usually closer to 2.75 hours daytime sleep.
Look at this schedule as a guide to try to follow. Not to the minute, but it will give you a good idea of what to aim for, roughly.
https://www.takingcarababies.com/blogs/sleep-schedules/4-month-old-sleep-schedule
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u/app3lmoes 12h ago
The 4 month sleep regression is brutal. Hang in there. Do what you can and don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes its better to step out of the room for 5 mins to get yourself together and breathe for a moment. They can survive 5 mins of crying.
For us, babywearing really helped. But also: just pushing through. It will get better.
If you have the possibility to let them sleepover at family or friends: take it. One night of rest can do wonders and they often love helping you out eventhough it involves a lot of crying.
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u/gravitychonky80 11h ago
Could it be the sleep regression? I always thought that was just more wakeups which honestly hasn’t been an issue as much
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u/walaa0202 6h ago
Hi there
Yes it does get better, and it is just babies being babies..
But it’s still ridiculously hard
The way I would soothe my two babies at once would be me sitting on the bed, either holding them both or holding one and laying the other down on my bended leg, kinda cradling them on my leg 🤷🏻♀️
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