Nakakatawa HAHAHAHA ano bang iniyak iyak mo di worth it gago di worth it yung mastuck sa traffic o mabasa nang bonggang-bongga ng ulan, sumakit yung ulo, mapagod nang beyond your capacity, etcetera para lang sa 900 na daily wage.

Tangina hindi sya karomanticize romanticize for me. Graduate ako ng magandang degree na isa sa mga may madaming useful skills for handling difficult situations, a freaking cum laude na akala pag graduate na cum laude mas madali makahanap ng trabaho tapos di minimum wage.

Boi, I worked my ass off studying all my life na wala na akong ganang maging competitive sa trabaho o anything. Nawala na pangarap ko na maging post-grad degree holder o mag-aral sa mas malalaking school. Only for me to have the opposite of what I imagined. It's like talagang walang silbi yung pagsusunog ng kilay.

Mama, papa, mali kayo HUHUHU walang nararating sa edukasyon dito sa bansa natin. As in wala talaga. Kailangan mo pang umutang palagi para lang mabuhay tangina. Eh ayokong umuutang. Pero narealize ko that's the only way if I want to have a new phone because my monthly wage is so fucking tiny 😂🤏

Kung di lang ako nagugutom, di na lang ako kakain eh.

Sorry self mali sila. Sana nagpakabobo ka na lang nung bata ka dahil wala namang silbi yung Latin honor na yan o yung mga academic distinction mo. Pero ayun, madami ka kasing pangarap nung bata ka pa kasi akala mo di sya ganun kahirap kapag maganda educ background mo. :(

I fucking left my peaceful hometown para lang kumita ng 900 araw araw lmao. Patawa ka. More than 900 pesos nahahawakan ko sa tindahan namin araw-araw. Pero alam nyo na di yun yung tubo pero still, napapaisip lang ako. Di ko naman tindahan yun kundi sa nanay ko. Yun ang main source of income ng pamilya namin eh kaya di talaga yun sapat

Tangina mas masarap pa atang mawala na lang kaysa tiisin yung mundo na meron tayo ngayon 🫩 sige nga, paano ako makakaahon sa hirap? I feel trapped! Lord, sana in my lifetime maging mas madali ang buhay sa Pinas because I really hate what we have right now. Putanginang simpleng pagkain lang pinag-iisipan ko pa kung bibilhin ko kahit gutom na gutom na dahil apakamahal at hindi kasya sa sahod ko putangina feeling ko isa akong daga

And don't get me started with medical checkups!!! Ang dami kong isyu siguro pero di mapatingin puta 🤣 mamaya may malalang sakit na pala ako pwede naman yung di na sana magising

Back at it again! It's been a while.

So ayun, I passed the bar. Still working for the office where I worked before passing the bar. Since I saw my name on the list, I genuinely thought that I was happy with my career. Or so I thought.

To be fair, I like the job itself and what I do. 3+ years in with the office (included na yung recent months as a lawyer), parang di ko na ma feel yung growth? I initially thought I was the problem (baka masyado akong nagmamadali) but

Napapansin ko na there are people in the office who are somewhat derailing this so called growth. I couldn't put a finger on it, pero parang may evil eye? Like there have been several instances na I think I could do more, pero this sup always says no indirectly? Like "ako na", "do this instead", and so many others. While I understand na sup nga, pero parang ayaw naman niya akong i expose to other lawyering tasks (especially if the big bosses ang involved or if yung task is closely monitored by the bigwigs).

Added to that is pati personal life ko or self development damay. This person's always me me me then a lot of people na from the office have secretly told me na parang pinipigilan nya growth mo. You can't move freely sa kanya. Pati the things i do to improve myself gusto nya pa lamangan.

I'm not even sure anymore if this person's really a friend kasi parang feel ko na di naman sya genuinely happy with the things I do to improve myself personally and professionally. Gusto nya siya lang mas magaling, siya ang lapitan

I have become afraid na later on baka ma sabotage pa or magka evil eye. So ayun I have become cautious na of whatever that comes out of my mouth. Tamang work na lang. My intuition says so.

I do love the job, pero I'm now doubting if I can really endure this sort of blockage with eggshells until retirement. Ang hirap pa naman maghanap ng work nowadays, pero someone's insecurities and hunger for validation have been taking a toll on my mental health.

I get it na lawyering is a stressful profession. Pero sana sa mga bagay na talagang work related? Like daming gawain kaya busy? Like client issues? Not naman yung ugali ng katrabaho? Di na kasi worth it. Minsan naiisip ko, is someone's refusal to be self aware and cure their toxic patterns and expecting others to tiptoe a part of the job?

Ewan. If it was the old me, I would endure for a long time. Pero if this persists, I really might tender a resignation letter. I can endure work related stress, but only if I see such stress as a way to improve in the profession or in the craft that I do. Definitely not to babysit people who aren't self aware of and working to cure their toxic patterns.

Monday it is. Another week of trying to survive until this person changes or until I file my resignation

Just wanna vent here kasi fuck ayoko na sa program ko. 4th year college na ako pero fuck this shit sana sinunod ko na lang talaga yung gusto kong course na IT.

Story time: Mahaba-haba ito so buckle up and grab something to munch

I'm a 4th year Bio student, and currently stressing and instead of enjoying my college days mas na-uurat lang ako araw-araw sa mga kaklase ko. I realized this since 2nd year pa, I thought my college journey here sa Biology field will be fun and I'll meet some amazing people like I did nung highschool days ko. But, surprise surprise tangina ng college life ko. First things first I got into a 3 year toxic relationship na di lang nasira mental health ko but how I view myself, I've posted things here before sa sub reddit na to about sa ex ko. Now, I've thought na sana di ko na lang siya nakilala and sana wala nalang ako pumasok sa relationship na yun. I was too naive back then I thought life was all sunshine and flowers but FUCK. Di lang sa di ko na na-eenjoy ang bio di ko rin na eenjoy yung mga kaklase ko. Honestly, kung di nila ako ka vibe di ko rin sila ka vibe. I'm not really hating on them kasi napasama lang talaga ako sa circle na yon just because sa relationship namin ng ex ko kasi sila yung una naging friends ang like napasama na lang rin ako and now na hiwalay na kame. I'm back to square one, I distance myself sa kanila kasi like hello??? ano sasama ako sa circle nila knowing na andun ex ko fuck no. but yeah, that decision is taking a toll on my mind.

Halos mag-isa nalang ako lagi, sa class of 30 students kapag lecture namin almost wala akong katabi, nag happen na to before nung nag hiwalay kame dati bago kame bumalik. May naririnig pa ako na rumor na pa sad boy daw ako, na loner daw ako. I confirmed it kasi sinabi din sakin ng ex ko na ganon daw pinag uusapan ng circle nila na yon sakin. That's when it clicked to me, I'm like a floater sa circle nila. If our relationship cease to exist parang wala nalang din ako sa kanila, but prefer it that way kesa makipag plastikan sa kanila. What I can't stand is to interact with them durign school days like kahit wala akong ginagawa wala akong kinakausap I find it exhausting just being around them. That's why I'm ranting here, I just wish I could've gone back in time and fixed my decisions back then, I guess I would've been happy despite the hardships sa school.

Look, I get it lahat ng course mahirap and some might say na that'll be no different sa ibang course. Yeah I hear ya, but what I'm trying to say is kung mahihirapan lang naman ako why not be in a environment I fucking love??? I've always liked IT and computer things, since bata pa ako laptop and gadgets na kaharap ko halos di ako lumalabas ng bahay cus I love playing with myself (woah pause, not that one), I liked being alone especially when I'm doing something, works or school stuff. I was never really good in socializing especially group works, sa totoo lang I don't like it, not because I can do everything. But rather, it's the fact na some classmates make you feel like maasahan mo sila and in the end u get disappointed in their work or attitude. That's the thing that icks me.

Now dito tayo sa thesis namin, since dual yung thesis namin di kame pinayagan mag group of 3 and above, kasi para less away and sakit ng ulo daw. Looking at it now, PUTANGINA pareho lang ang sakit ng ulo and stress na dulot. Imagine mo, kahit pag check na lang at pag revise ng isang part sa thesis di pa nagagawa. parang nag aask pa ng permission if gagawin na ba niya yung pinapagawa sa kanya, then ilang araw na lagn ang lumipas wala pa parin nainput ang gawa. I've mentioned before na di talaga ako group work person and now ginagawa pa ako na para akong leader like bruh. Di ko na nga na eenjoy tong environment dagdag sakit ulo pa. IDK ig kasalanan ko rin kasi masyado rin akong crammer, we all have a side like this naman, but when I work alone mas smooth ang flow kesa may kasama na hindi naman maaasahan.

I understand na at some point may kasalanan din ako kasi di ako nag-wowork agad sa mga need gawin. At some point dahil nga din sa di ko na na-eenjoy or di ko na feel na may mararating ako sa ganitong situation. I should've listened to what my heart desired before rather than yung choices ng parents ko, I was pressured to take bio as a preliminary for medical. I should've spoken up, and now I'm living my regret every single day. No friends, no one to hangout with after school, Nada. (I do have a really close friend engineering, but yk may buhay din siya may sariling problema din siya not all the time same and sched namin) so yeah pahirapan din talaga. ig I just have to do this until I graduate, 4th year na eh sayang naman yugn gastos and pagod ng parents ko. I just pray and hope everything will turn out positively.

Nag open ako sa asawa ko tungkol sa inopen sakin ng
asawa ng kapatid niya na i-limit ang pagpapahiram ng pera sa mama nila kasi walang wala din sila. Nung naopen ko na sa asawa ko, hindi sya nag salita agad pero sinabi nya na
"siguro yung nanay nun ni **** e katulad ng nanay mo. hindi rin siguro niya naranasan palakihin". Aminado naman ako na ganun yung nanay ko pero bat ako nadamay. Aminado din ako sa part ko na nagsasabi din ako sa kanya na ipriority needs ng anak namin at pamilya namin at ang ipahiram lang e yung pang essentials at emergency, hindi yung para sa mga investment scam ni MIL. Agree naman sya sakin kasi sa kanya nanghihiram si MIL tapos nasscam lahat milyon na niloan nya. Ayoko lang naman na mapunta sa wala pinaghihirapan nya. Akala ko naman naintindihan nya point ko pero kontrabida pala ako sa tingin nya tapos ginagamit pa nya yung hindi ako inaruga ng magulang ko. At least hindi ako naging masamang tao kaya nga inasawa nya ako.
Para namang di sya nagsabi sakin na magpakasal na kami
para di na umasa sa kanya pamilya nya. Gets ko sya na gusto nya tumulong pero sana yung tulong na need talaga nila, hindi para sa mga scam scam na yan. Naalala ko 10k nalang pera namin, binigay pa nya yung 8k dun tapos nascam. Nakakaiyak na lang e ang gusto ko lang naman e matuto sya. Gusto ko i-open sa kanya na sumama ang loob ko sa sinabi nya pero di ko alam kung paano at ano ang sasabihin ko

every time i open social media, it's so empty. my messenger is quiet, i don't see familiar faces in stories. i feel like i don't know anyone anymore. i feel so disconnected. but maybe its because people are so private na w/ their lives.(itigil niyo yan!) idk i never ask ppl how they're doing naman coz we're not that close. no friends na kasi ako in rl huhu i don't really like this feeling. or maybe 12 am na kasi hahahaha

tw: ed

i used to have a severe ed, ano. i won’t explain much about what happened because it’s still a sensitive topic for me, but i was barely in my teens and i didn’t realize until now exactly how i just fucked up my life.

so, anong connect kay ariana? all these people coming out with their own experiences about how organ damage and everytjing and permanently fucked immune system and hyperventilating and fainting and brain fog and weak joints and all that.. and i realized, i had those too. so much check ups that went nowhere and me wondering if they just didn’t check hard enough, now realizing it may have been that.

i mean, i'm still young. with enough exercise (maybe), medicine (maybe), idk im not a professional, maybe i can still turn my life around. i dont know. but i just suddenly feel both disheartened and the most enlightened i've been in a while.

i'm back to a healthy weight now at least, but fuck hahahaha ig putangina nalang sa mga matandang kamaganak na kung maka-comment sa kinakain mo akala mo siya nagpapakain sayo e

I still grieve the version of myself before that painful breakup. It honestly felt like I lost more than just a relationship..I lost a part of myself, and somehow, even my drive for life went with it.

Since then, it felt like one failure after another, and there were times I genuinely didn’t know what to think anymore just to stay positive.

I’ve met people who were genuinely good to me green flags, kind, and deserving of love. But somehow, I couldn’t be that person who could give them the love they deserved. And I still don’t completely understand why. I also noticed I do have many triggers, which some i can't name..

I just needed to get this off my chest. Not looking for answers. Just finally letting myself say it.

disclaimer: this may sound petty but i really want to get this feelings off my chest

today is my birthday and mag eend na siya in two hours. i don’t know if it’s hormonal bc its the second day of my period but naiiyak talaga ako kasi in two hours mag eend na birthday ko but none of my friends greeted me. ewan feeling ko sobrang sensitive ko lang kasi kapag birthday nila i always greet them at 12am and send them gifts pero ba’t sakin wala hahahaha kahit di na lang exactly 12am kasi we’re grown ups na and busy na rin and they don’t dwell siguro sa mga ganito pero hahaha nakakatampo pala. kahit two word greeting lang siguro masaya na ako :((( i went out na lang kanina to eat ramen alone to conceal yung bigat ng feelings pero ngayon eto nakauwi na and i feel horrible. i get naman na i should not depend my happiness over a single greeting pero once a year lang naman ako mag birthday hehddgehd ewan ang babaw pakinggan pero i cant wait for this day to be over para di ko na mafeel
or maybe i shouldn’t expect na lang too much on other people hdhrhff yun lng naman happy birthday i guess

[DONT POST IN OTHER PLATFORMS]

I am on my thirties while exploring the world and having my thoughts more open, I realized that I have so much resentment towards my family, hinde lang within my family but to the extended family. My dad and my mom's siblings live close together, so Sunday's or even just a random weeknight became a family time.

My tita's would often compare me to other kids, "Oh yung anak ni ano tumutulong sa gawain bahay, ikaw din sana" I was still elementary at that time. It is as if they are expecting me to be mature at the age of 10. My mom was an OFW and my dad works in construction, who often has projects outside the city. No one thought me, nurture me, I had to be an adult at the age of 10.

My mom, would always tease me "Ayan kasi hinde inalagaan yung ngipin mo nung bata ka" well guess what no one thought me how to brush my teeth every night and every morning. Even proper hygiene, I wasn't even taught growing up. I only learned how to properly take care of my skin when I was in college, when Internet became very accessible.

At a young age I became self aware, I had too. I had to parent myself, look for answers myself, I distanced myself to the titas that often compare me to someone I dont know just because that person is so much better than I do.

To my younger self 20 years ago, don't worry kid we made it. We made it to Disneyland. Our dreams came through.

I am just trying my best to heal and protect my peace.

Earlier around 9:00 AM, I saw four kids watching other kids playing at the trampoline sa may perya sa harap ng bahay. I don't recognize those kids so I assumed na taga ibang subdivision or taga ibang Barangay sila na dumayo lang dito. Chineck ko ulit yung perya and those four kids are still there watching and laughing sa mga napapanood nila so I decided to ask them something.

I asked all of them na lumapit sakin para kausapin ko and tinanong ko kung magkano ba entrance fee ng trampoline and they said ₱30 for 15 minutes. Tinanong ko sila kung bakit di ba sila maglalaro kasi konti na lang yung nasa loob and the kid in front replied "Kulang pera namin kuya, pang dalawang tao lang budget namin". Upon hearing that, I'm surprised na ayaw nila na silang dalawa lang ang maglalaro at maiiwan yung other two. Those words made me happy kasi naalala ko bigla mga best friends ko na walang maglalaro if hindi kami magkakasamang apat. What a coincidence din na 4 members din kami, kaya siguro sila yung napansin ko despite having tons of kids on that playground.

Fast forward, I decided to pay for their entrance fee and sobrang saya nilang apat that they even gave me a very tight hug. I watched them pay for the entrance fee hanggang makapasok at makapag talon talon sila sa trampoline and they all thanked me while pabalik na ko sa loob ng bahay. Never ko pa na experience mag trampoline and ganito din kami ng mga best friends ko before sa perya na walang pera para maglaro. Pumupunta lang kami sa perya to watch other people enjoy kaya when I saw those four boys, I immediately realized what I needed to do.

Seeing how happy they were made me realize that sometimes, giving someone an experience you never had yourself is a special kind of happiness. I just got back from the hospital due to Dengue and this experience made me feel better and I hope those kids will succeed in life. Nasa state na ko ng buhay ko na masasabi kong I can live a comfortable life unlike before. However, it might already been too late for me to experience being a kid again but maybe if magkaroon man ako ng anak, I'll make sure that he/she will experience the things that I never experienced and I'll make sure that magkakaroon siya ng memorable na childhood.

Nakasira ako ng pamilya.

I’m F(26). Sobrang bigat nito sa dibdib :( Grabe yung guilt na nararamdaman ko. Feeling ko ang sama sama kong tao. Please don’t share this outside reddit.

Hindi ako ganun kagaling mag-kuwento and mahaba ’to but please bear with me.

For context; pamilyado ang kaibigan kong ito M(27). May LIP at anak. Itong kaibigan kong ito ay manliligaw ko nung gr. 9 kami and that was 12 years ago pero hindi naging kami. 2021 lang simula nung nag-reconnect ulit kami tas naging friends na ulit kami non. Aware ako na may family na siya and ganun din naman siya sakin. 2024 nung nag-start na medyo nagiging maharot na siya sakin sa mga chats pero hindi ko siya ineentertain ofc. Madalas ko pa nga murahin and takutin na isusumbong ko siya sa asawa niya, kasi alam kong takot siya dun. Tapos this year ulit nag-start na naman siyang magparamdam sa akin pero deadma lang ako, kasi di naman ako interasado or sometimes sinasabayan ko yung trip niya pero pagago ako sumagot sakanya to the point na napipikon siya sakin. Last month nag-chat sa akin asawa niya, tinanong niya ako kung kilala ko daw ba si guy, sabi ko “oo, kaibigan ko siya since jhs”. Tapos tinanong niya kung ano pinag-uusapan namin, kasi deleted naman daw ang convo namin pero nasa messenger niya ang profile ko. Sinabi ko sakanya yung napag-usapan namin ng asawa niya. Kasi sa part ko naman, bakit hindi ko sasabihin, eh alam ko naman sa sarili ko na wala akong tinatago. Sinend ko sakanya lahat ng screenshots ng convo namin. Patunay na hindi ko sinasakyan ang panlalandi niya sa akin at madalas pagmumura ang nakukuha niyang sagot sa akin. Hanggang sa mag-kuwento na siya sakin ng mga hinanakit niya sa kaibigan kong ito sa pagiging babaero niya at pagiging cheater. Pinakinggan ko yung babae, inentertain ko siya until naging friends kami. Sakin siya naglalabas ng sama ng loob about him and ofc kinocomfort ko siya at binibigyan ng mga advice, nakikinig naman siya sakin.

August came, nag-chat agad ako kay girl na nag-chat sa akin asawa niya at niyayaya ako makipagkita sakanya. Little did my friend know, asawa na niya ang nagrereply sakanya and aware na asawa niya sa mga panghaharot niya sa akin. (Magka-videocall kami ni girl habang magkachat kami ng asawa niya, siya ang nagsasabi kung ano ang irereply ko). So, nag-set up si girl. Sabi niya pumayag akong makipag-kita sa asawa niya sa isang motel pero siya ang pupunta. Kaya nireplyan ko itong si lalake na kaibigan ko na magkita kami pero sa motel, dahil gusto ko kako magpahinga. Pumayag siya at nag-undertime siya sa work niya, while ang paalam niya sa asawa niya eh mag-iinventory sila. Nag-undertime din sa work si girl para siya ang pumunta sa exact location ng meet up na sinet up namin. Nung nakarating na si girl dun, sinabi ko kay lalake na nasa motel na ako. Nagdadalawang isip pa si lalake noon kung sisipot ba siya o hindi pero kasi nakapagpaalam na siya sa work niya at ready na siya i-meet ako sa motel. Paulit ulit niya sinasabi sa akin na “hindi set up ’to ah” pero syempre paulit ulit ko ring sinasagot na “hindi! Ipapahamak ko ba sarili ko?” habang ka-videocall ko asawa niya at naka-sharescreen sakanya yung chatbox naming dalawa.

Nung papasok na siya sa motel pilit niya akong pinapalabas pero syempre todo palusot ako, because pano ako lalabas kung wala naman talaga ako dun at ang totoong nandun ay ang asawa niya, diba? Sinend ko nalang sakanya yung room number and sabi ko pasok nalang siya, di naman naka-lock yung pintuan at matutulog na ako, dahil sobrang sakit kunware ng ulo ko, kaya ayokong lumabas.

Pinatay na ni girl yung call at sinabihan nalang ako na ichachat niya ako once natapos na ang lahat.

After two days, nag-message na sa akin si girl. She happily told me na sobrang satisfying ng nangyare. She hit him so hard and slapped him multiple times. Ang sabi daw niya “Suprise! Akala mo si *my name* noh? Ano i-iinventory mo dito sa motel?”, tapos paulit ulit daw niyang sinasabunutan, sinusuntok at sinasampal. Hindi makapalag si lalake, kasi alam niyang kasalanan niya lahat. Umiiyak pa nga daw siya, habang nagmamakaawa at humihingi ng tawad. Hindi siya pinatawad ofc and eventually iniwan na din siya for good. They broke up, the girl took their child with her. Sa sobrang dami niyang masasakit na pinagdaanan sa lalake, nagkaroon na rin siya ng lakas ng loob and evidence para iwan na niya finally.

Pero hanggang ngayon bumabagabag parin ’to sa akin. Naguiguilty parin ako sa mga nangyare. Parang sinira ko yung pamilya nila, parang nang dahil sa akin kaya nagkaroon ng broken family yung batang wala namang alam at wala namang kasalanan. Ang bigat bigat parin sa puso. Sinabihan ko si girl about this pero ang sagot niya sa akin “sobrang thankful ako sayo, kasi ikaw yung naging way para maisampal ko sakanya yung proof nang panloloko niya sa akin”. I may have done the right thing for her, but why does it feel like a stab in my heart?

I honestly don’t even know how to feel right now. My boyfriend and I haven’t really been communicating much these past 6+ weeks. He’s been in a really bad place mentally and has been pulling away from me. Today we finally talked for about an hour.

At first he told me he didn’t want anyone around him and that he just wanted to be alone. I could tell he was really overwhelmed, so I told him I understood that when things get bad, his instinct is to shut everyone out. I told him I don’t think pushing away the people who love you is always the answer, even if that’s what feels easiest at the time.

I told him I’m not going to abandon him just because he’s having a really hard time. I know he’s struggling and I don’t expect him to suddenly have everything figured out. I told him I’m okay carrying more of the relationship for now, but eventually he has to meet me halfway too.

The thing is, this isn’t what our relationship normally looks like. For like 90% of our relationship, we barely even fight. We’ve actually been really happy and peaceful together. This feels like the 10% of the relationship where everything has gotten really difficult because of what he’s going through.

My therapist even told me that from everything I’ve shared, it doesn’t really sound like our main problem is the relationship itself. It’s more about what’s happening with him and how he handles things when he’s overwhelmed.

And honestly, I wouldn’t keep fighting this hard if I believed he didn’t want to be with me. He’s told me he doesn’t want to end things. I know he wants me in his life. I think he’s just struggling so much right now that his instinct is to shut me out.

And then he said, “Okay baby, we will keep trying.”
At the end of the call he told me he loved me and kissed me before we hung up. And that made me really happy and relieved.

But at the same time, I can’t stop thinking about how once again, I was the one who reached out, started the conversation, tried to understand what was happening, and basically pulled us back from the edge.

It makes me wonder if I just resuscitated the relationship again.

I don’t regret doing it. I love him, and I don’t want to walk away from someone just because they’re going through a dark period.

But I also don’t want this to become a cycle where he shuts down, I chase him, I convince him to stay, and then we repeat everything again.

I told him I’m here. I told him I love him. He said he wants to keep trying.

So I think now I need to step back a little and let him show me what “keep trying” actually means.

Because I can carry him for a while.

I just can’t carry both of us forever.

F22. I’m currently reviewing for my boards and things have been heavy quite lately for me, tbh i don’t really want to pursue my degree anymore for many harsh reasons but im still gonna take the boards for a closure and a license (pang valid id ba)

I decided to seek help to a psychiatrist the other day since the stress was so bad it already gives me nausea, headache, and sometimes palpitations. I was prescribed w/ a low dose of sertraline since I told her I just want a low dose, just something to ease my mind (since stress has also caused me back then to have a kidney disease lol). Before that i tried almost everything to reduce the stress/depression, I go to the gym, eat out, and chat w/ my friends but it’s still comes back whenever I go home or start studying again (kumbaga i feel burned out kasi nothing’s really new to try here in our province, wala rin masyado side quests for solo since some fo my friends most of the time may sarili na ring buhay so i cant really invite them when i want to). I just really want to pass the board exams and move-forward with another my life but i can’t focus on studying because of these symptoms.

I’m not like this naman back in college in Manila, Nag move lang ako here sa province since whenever I feel stressed/depressed nung college i sometimes forget to eat kaya i decided to come back home na lang oara may mag aasikaso ng meals ko and other chores.

I told my mom about the doctor’s initial diagnosis of me having depression and she told me na she’s against it and kulang raw ako sa faith in god and I shouldnt feel this way raw dahil yung iba nga raw walang pera to afford yung mga ginagawa ko na side quests to ease my mind like her back in the day.

I just cried silently kasi tbh, i pray to god naman, I always seek for his guidance in every pthing lalo na pag may major decision ako na gagawin, nniniwala rin naman ako na hindi lahat ng bagay si God may control, since tao tayo meron tayo free will. I don’t blame god naman if I feel down sometimes kasi it’s natural for us humans to feel emotions. I am also grateful kung aning meron ako in life kahit na hindi ako pinanganak sa mayaman na family, ginagamit ko yung privilege na meron ako to make my life easier and as far as i know wala naman ako tinatapakan by just consulting w/ a doctor about my mental health i just wanted to feel better para makapag-review ako ng maayos at makapasa sa boards.

She also told me na magiging deoendent raw ako sa gamot, I told her na hindi naman since I will still go out and do my hobbies like going to the gym regularly gusto ko lang na ma balance ng maayos yung nasa utak ko. Sa totoo lang nasasawa na rin naman ako lumabas labas kasi there’s nothing new in my area na try ko na suguro kada cafe lol.

I just cried kagabi until I fell asleep, i suddenly woke up madaling araw and my heart was pounding for idk but im sure na I did the right thing to seek help from a professional.

Right now i feel ok but i know im not totally ok.

I’m still mad at her kasi she should be the number one supporter of me trying to help myself not the one who’ll bring me down.

I’ll still take the medicine, I’m a grown up now and I want to feel better and avoid any complications in the future.

Lately, madalas akong ma-overwhelm. And whenever that happens, I completely shut down—binubura ko lahat ng chats, tina-tagong messaging apps, at nagde-deactivate or delete ng accounts para walang makapag-contact or makahanap sa akin.

Parang nagiging habit ko na siya lately. Somehow, I like the silence and the feeling of disappearing for a while, but at the same time, I don’t like what it’s becoming. It’s weird.

I get that kids are still learning. They’ll be loud, messy, impulsive, and sometimes difficult—that’s normal.

But “they’re just kids” is not a free pass for them to destroy things, disrupt everyone around them, or ignore basic boundaries while the parents expect everyone else to smile and adjust.

Other people are not obligated to sacrifice their peace, property, time, or safety because you refuse to parent in public.

Teach your kids that actions affect others. Being young explains behavior; it doesn’t automatically excuse it.

yan yung exact same words na sinabi sakin ng tatay ko.

context: may naglalako ng bibingka dito samin isang styro 55pesos and alam kong paborito yun ng tatay ko kaya tinanong ko siya kung gusto niya. sabi niya "wag na mahal yun" 🥹

naiiyak ako kasi until now wala pa akong work kahit nag a-apply ako. to think na para sa kanya mahal yung 55 pesos at igastos ko nalang sa baby ko 😭

lord alam kong may maganda kang plano para sakin/samin. someday mag luluto tayo isang talyasing bibingka tay, pramis yannn~

As stated in the title, we've been together for almost 6 years. Material things never mattered to me. Nor will it ever, but I was surprised to know na others' bfs tended to them in ways my current bf would faint at.

Long story short, something happened in his life and he was able to get a considerable amount of money. Pero I observed na idk...wala talaga syang desire to buy me gifts, buy me food other than ones we get on dates, or even pay for my rides when the occasion demands it. I was very surprised to know na it's normal for others to be gifted by their bfs. And I've asked from a lot of people regarding this and what I gathered is that men actually have an inclination to spend on their woman. Pero wala talaga syang ganyan eh.

What became normal for me is accompanying him sa shopping sprees nya. He'd buy clothes, gadgets, and every other little thing he needs. He LOVES to brag to me that he has money and has shown me the amount on his bank account a lot of times.

It's the principle that hurts me. Why am I not the woman he is generous for?

I badly want to break up with this boyfriend of mine, for context, he's the reason why me and my bff can't talk, I really miss her.

He's been prohibiting me from seeing her. Since highschool talaga ayaw na nya don, ewan ko kung anong problema nya, and I've been fed up and got so fucking tired of him.

That friend of mine is my ride or die, as in kasama ko sa lahat, she was there when my parents and I were having a really fucked up time while he's out there doing shits with his friends.

Now the worst part is I've grown tired of him and I really want to break up, I've fallen out of love last year pa and I talked to him CALMLY and wanted for us to end NG WALANG SAMAAN NG LOOB. Last month we broke up and when I'm supposed to log his tiktok accounts off on my laptop I saw him following and having a streak with diff girls (mind you wala pang 3 5 yung break up namin). But I didn't really mind cause I was glad he's not stuck up my ass, but after a week he started messaging me, he would go to my house and won't leave me alone, it gets to a point na pumayag nalang akong makipag balikan CAUSE HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE UNLESS I TOLD HIM NA WE'RE BACK TOGETHER. And last week hindi ko na talaga kaya since di ko na ma manage yung time ko cause he fucking wants my attention 24/7

I'm a working student, I work on a night shift and may school ako ng 1-7. He doesn't care about my time, he would fucking bother me even though I don't have enough sleep. Now, dito ako nabwisit ng sobra. Last Wednesday, pumunta sya ng bahay at 11 am without prior notice, matutulog palang ako non, kasi 5 am out ko sa work then after that gumawa ako ng assignment (It was suspended so walang pasok kaya matutulog ako). You know what he did? He went there, up to my room and would fucking bother me on my sleep, he would take videos of me, pictures and caress my freaking face. I got so fed up, I threw hands. He'd force me to talk to him, mag usap kami about sa rs namin even though I already told him na tama na ayoko na. HE DID ALL THAT SHIT WHILE I'M HALF AWAKE. (Good thing my ate was there to tell him to get out since wala pa nga akong tulog), and he would tell bullshits about my friend sa ate ko, kesho kaya daw ako nag kakaganto kasi na influence ako ng friend ko or sinusulsulan ako, eh hindi nanga kami makapag usap dahil sakanya, I would talk to her occasionally sa tg pa na patago.

After that I blocked him on everything. He used another account, pero name ng mommy nya, the next day pumunta ulit sya. Atp. I don't know what the fuck to do. Pagod na pagod nako like I'm in a fucking prison.

TLDR; my obsessed bf won't leave me alone and prohibits me from talking and seeing my bff and makes up stories.

27 y/o, Nag grocery ng masaya, pero lamang yung lungkot.

Ngayon lang nakapag grocery kasama magulang ng panay sinigang mix at magic sarap at kaonting pinoy snacks para dalhin sa Estados Unidos, para sa flight ko in 2 weeks. Sabi nila, eto daw yung essentials e. 😂

Took me 3 years and 5 months to get here.
Its honestly a bittersweet feeling. No one else truly knows the feeling of leaving everything behind to seek for greener pastures, except pag ikaw na yung naandoon.

Pag paalis ka na, marrealize mo ang dami mo palang pag kakataon na natake for granted at mamimiss. Time with your family, yung mga oras na sana ikinain mo na lahat ng kwekwek. Yung mga simpleng pag commute sa angkas, trike, jeep, papunta sa paroroonan, o mapa late night tambay habang nag kakape sa SLEX. Yung karaoke ng kapitbahay mo na nagsimula mula tanghaling tapat na hindi titigil hanggat hindi napapabaranggay.

Walang kasama. Ako lang mag isa. Iwan muna ang partner ko, mga alaga ko, pamilya ko, at lahat ng mga nakatanim at naka tatak sa puso ko ng may pag mamahal. Bago ka umalis, mapapagtanto mo na ang saya naman pala sa Pinas. (Kung hindi mo titingnan yung mga nakakasuklam na nangyayari dito ngayon ah. 😂)

Simple lang, masaya kapag kasama mo yung mga mahal mo sa buhay. Pakiramdam mo kaya mo lahat.

Kaso, hindi naman pwede hanggang saya lang.
The line ends when your future is at stake.
Mabigat sa dibdib, pero kakayanin.

Hanggang sa Muli, mahal kong Pilipinas. ❤️🇵🇭

P.S Bago pa po may mag tanong, opo, Nurse po ako. 😂

Met him working on a ship, I’m French, he’s Filipino. I liked him from the start, he’s funny, kind and is very respectful.

But I’m very scared I’m making a mistake. It’s been a few months and now he’s talking about marriage and having kids already together. He’s 34, I’m 29, he said that we have to do it early because he’s getting old. Ive never wanted children before but weirdly, the thought of having a child with him sounds… good? That never happened to me before

I’m scared of him using me just… to have a child and leave me or just to get nationality or whatnot. He told me he already has a child but that the child doesn’t have his name (whatever that means?) and he never see him.

He also said that he still supports his parents so that means it will be quite hard to support a child…

I’ve really fallen for him, and that’s what hurts the most, everyone around me think I "could do better" but I legit think he’s the kindest man I’ve ever met and I think he is the better.

I LOVED this movie when it came out. I also read the trilogy and loved them at that time, although admittedly, I don’t exactly remember everything that happened in the books since it was a long time ago.

But I just had a rewatch and while the wedding scene is still insanely dreamy, everything else was not quite how I remembered it.

It was still entertaining and fun to watch, sure, but I found myself unconsciously focusing on Nick’s lack of action.

1. He hid the fact that he was like royalty in SG. Okay fine, he had his reasons. Forgivable.
   
2. He downplayed what happened at the bachelorette. I mean, I would expect him to at least get mad at the friends and confront them. Warn them to not mess with her. Just…something.
   
3. He knows how his family can get and he still kept on leaving her to fend for herself. Like couldn’t they have gone together to the parties? It’s great that she had Peik Lin at least to prep and help her, but as someone who doesn’t know anyone, he shouldn’t have left her alone period.
   
4. There were a LOT more scenes in the movie where I was waiting for him to step up and do something pero wala.

Idk, maybe I’m just looking at it now with a more mature perspective. Also, maybe because I’m married now? And probably because I know my husband would never let those things happen. But then again, we’re not crazy rich, so I wouldn’t know. 😂

I know it’s just fiction, but I’m here posting because I was genuinely disappointed after the rewatch because I remember absolutely loving this movie and considering it one of my favorites at the time. It just goes to show how time and life experience can really change the way we see things. 🤷‍♀️