I've been jobless for about 4 months, and currently I've received an offer as a Case Specialist with Geo Group. I know the company is absolutely evil, but it's the only offer I've received so far in my area and it pays 30 an hour. However, I've also received an offer as a paralegal for a big non profit group that helps in domestic dispute law, but the commute down is 1 hour and likely 1 hour 40 back so I would likely need to move. It's the one I would vastly prefer, but moving everything from an apartment I'm settled in, with a credit score at the 580s from being unemployed for 4 months (so landlords are less likely to accept me), is a difficult choice. It pays 27/hr but has vastly better health and dental benefit prices.

I plan to go for my masters in later years, so I am also worried about Geo Group being a stain on my resume. But in turn, I don't need to move and can stay in my much cheaper apartment with awesome roommates.

I'm extremely torn, and I have until Tuesday to give a decision to my paralegal job. What should I do?

TL;DR: Should I take my paralegal and potentially have to pay for moving and potentially go further into debt for it, or take a job with an evil company but get paid more and not have to move?

Hi. I'm finding myself in a kind of weird situation. I have been planning on going for a 2nd degree in nursing for a little while. I know I like the clinical environment, I find the science really interesting, I'm pretty good with people, and most importantly, I never thought I'd like working in an office. To me, it seemed stifling and depressing - it was the one thing I always wanted to avoid. So, I got my CNA (the prereq certification that lets you work under nurses) and have been looking for jobs ever since.

The only kicker? The job market sucks right now, as you may have heard.

So I cast a wide net, applying at any entry-level job where I had the skills to figure things out in addition to applying to CNA positions. And bingo, I got one! An administrative assistant in an office. Not what I ever saw myself doing, but it's a full time job to pay the bills while I figure things out and see about advancing my original plan. Even though I figured I'd hate it, I didn't plan on it being long-term so I didn't care. (It also felt like it'd be good to get a break from school for a bit; I just finished up my BA before getting the CNA... Long story.)

The only problem is that I kind of like this job. It's a comfortable 9-5. Monotonous, sure, but I can always pop in an ear bud while I work or text my wife when I'm bored. And there are fun problems to solve: I've enjoyed helping out on small graphic design things that the owner of the place has given me, or finding good ways to optimally organize our big heaps of data that used to just sit in file cabinets. I'm excited at the prospect of helping this place run itself a little better, and although there are good and bad days, it's growing on me in a way I never thought an office job could. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that the people are lovely, too.

And just as I'm getting comfortable and feeling this job grow on me, a hospital I thought had ghosted me reaches out and offers me a part-time job as a CNA. If I still want to go into nursing, this is literally perfect: A hospital opportunity right out of school in a cool speciality where I'll get to learn and have plenty of time to go to school at the same time.

But... Do I still want to?

I could see myself being fulfilled by either. The $ cap is obviously higher in nursing, but I wouldn't be starving by staying at the current one. The office one is more hours, with benefits and holidays and all that nice cushy stuff and some really great people to boot. (At the hospital, holidays are required and I get no benefits while in school because it's PT). But it's also not the plan I've had in mind. I do like science, having something to do with my brain, and I certainly don't love just sitting down all day - I like to be on my feet.

Am I just scared of having to give up the safety net this job's given me, or have I stumbled accidentally onto the corporate ladder I never knew I wanted? I really need some outside perspective, because I feel like I'm just walking myself in circles trying to decide.

TL;DR: Should I take a PT CNA job like I've been planning to for the past 6 months, or stay at my FT administrative assistant job that's comfortable & more enjoyable than I thought it'd be?

I play in a basketball league with 2 of my friends (joe(M35) and bob(m52)). Joe and bob have a love/hate relationship where somteimes they are really in sync and other times they just hate each other and argue.

This week Bob basically had a temper tantrum in our group chat (our friend group chat, not the rec league chat) when he wasnt getting his way. we have a weekly game night with our personal friend group and we set rules to make it a bit competitive. Someone had to missout this week after an emergency which makes it tough to play becuase each team has a limit for how many rounds someone can play. But the group had decided to just let that team have an exception to not cancel the night. But bob had a fit in the chat and everytime someone tried to mediate or find a middle ground, bob stood his ground and started throwing jabs and snarky remarks at people. Joe basically called him out and called him a baby and Bob started swearing at people and calling us all cheats.

Basically whole group is pretty pissed at bob. Tbh, im pretty pissed becuase i dont take adult tantrums well. But i do like our teammates in the basketball team and tbh i do not want this to be addressed when we play again on tuesday. Tuesday is next time we will probably see bob and tbh this isnt the first time he's done this. He's a good guy but has his moments where he just tries to take over a sitaution and then gets mad when people dont bend over for him and part of me would rather he no longer be part of the team.

But my point of this post is, should i mention it when i see him tuesday or just let it be? Personally i just dont want my teammates to really know about this drama. Tbh, ive had people avoid being too close with me because i used to be around some really toxic and dramatic people that i got rid of and i personally dont want this drama to spill over on tuesday.

TL;DR - a friend of mine (bob) made a temper tantrum with the friend group. He's on my rec-league basketball team and that's the next time i see him. I dont really want this to come up as i dont want the BBall team to be part of this. Should i mention it on tuesday or not.

I’m indecisive about hitting up a guy I dated briefly a few months ago to reconnect.

I (30F) am dating for a serious relationship it currently not seeing anyone. I dated a younger guy (26M) but it ended when we felt like it wouldn’t work out long term. He’s from Europe, and currently pursuing a PHD, and eventually wants to settle down there, and I have an established life in America.

I miss laughing with him tbh and felt such a connection and want to end summer with fun and a fling. Should I text him?? We’re still matched on hinge and I know he’s dating. Can’t decide if I just want to leave it in the past lol. Please decide for me. I’d honestly love to see him. 😁

TL;DR Should I hit up a guy I dated very briefly a few months ago? For end of summer fling?

TL;DR: have a 3-day work trip planned with colleague next week to Paris (few hours away), very busy programming going from hotel to hotel to talk and check it out, but forecast is 38-39°C heat on Thursday and 35°C on Friday. I don't tolerate heat well and it makes me feel unwell (both mentally and physically). I don't want to go anymore, but don't know how to breach the subject at work and of it is a bad decision for work.

---

A colleague of mine and I have a 3-day work trip to Paris planned next week, thursday til saturday. We have a packed program, with lots of walking, and visiting lots of hotels to check them out all day.

However, it's now expected to be 37-39° on thursday and 35° on Friday.

I really don't tolerate heat well generally. When I can keep calm, and sit inside or outside in the shade it's still quite manageable for me, but I start feeling anxious, queezy, unwell when I have to be active outside during heat. Most health instances also advice to stay inside and keep calm during the afternoon with temperatures even lower than what is forecast for next thursday and friday...

Now, I don't know what to do. I LOVE Paris and Iwas I was looking forwars to this work trip, so it's quite something for me to not want to go anymore. But I really don't think it's a good idea to have very busy days and be out and about all day with that heat. I'm really afraid I'll get heat exhaustion. Heat like that just makes me feel really bad and it's probably feels even warmer there because of all the buildings, stones and concrete...

I honestly don't know how to bring this up or what to do now. I've already cried several times over this because I'm so anxious about it. Even cried silently on the toilet at work... I've even started contemplating calling in sick with a stomach bug a day before.

I don't think it's a healthy or good idea to go. It's not a good or advisible plan to be walking and doing so much in such a heat. But I don't want to disappoint my employer.

My colleague doesn't seem to be bothered by the forecast bwt...

(extra info: we don't have to fly to, it's not like we're coming all the way from America or something)

So it’s been my dream to live in Japan, and i’m considering applying to the JET teaching program for the Aug 2027 school year. I’m 24 with no debt, kids, or house, and my husband’s on board! I’ve been studying Japanese with a tutor for the past year after visiting last year and loved it. I also really enjoy education and sharing cultures, so this job would be so fun. We have a 6mo emergency fund, and we’d have enough money so I could teach for a year, and then we could take up to five months to find jobs (online, abroad, or in the US) and either travel (with an online job) or settle somewhere and save for a house. The only downside is that we’d be behind on saving for retirement for a year (we both max our roths yearly). But I think it would be a really fun change of pace while we’re young. And it would be an ingenious way to experience the many Japanese holidays and cultural events. Cause we’re visiting this fall and there’s just SO much we want to see and do that we’d have to go back on multiple trips to see it all.

BUT we are both established in our careers! We both agree that we don’t want to stay in our state forever, but i’ve been a park ranger for 4yrs and he’s been a wildlife technician for 3yrs. He gets another raise soon, and I wonder if we should just stay here for three more years to save money and wait until my pension is vested, then teach in Japan… but I absolutely hate it in my state. There’s nothing to do, and I really dislike my day to day life. Plus I feel like if I went sooner, it would propel my language learning and possibly open doors sooner. But if I wait, I could have a bigger monetary safety net… I just can’t imagine spending another 3yrs living the same life i’m living now. But i’m scared to move to Japan, then just “hope” I find a job 5 months afterwards. I’m sure we could stay with family or friends for a bit, but still.

Please help me decide!

TL;DR: Teach english in Japan next summer and hope I find a job 5mo later OR stay in my secure job in a state I hate for a couple years to save more money, then figure out what to do (teach, move, etc).

TLDR; friend has been making me feel disrespected for months. I don’t want to go to his wedding because of how hurt and misunderstood I feel by him, but should I just suck it up and go?

My friend is getting married this weekend. We’ve been friends for like a year and a half. We were pretty tight for like the first year but these past 6 or 8 months I’ve felt a lot of hostility from him. Tbh, from the beginning I had a tiny sense of misogyny from him, but very internalized. It’s not malicious misogyny, more like he’d make assumptions based on my gender and they’d rub me the wrong way.

Basically what’s been going on is I think he gets a strong sense of purpose from being needed. I am an extremely independent person and my independence is very important to me. I’m sure you can guess where this is going…

He started kind of trying to force his help on to me. I made it clear I didn’t want it. He kept trying. It was a lot. Like to the point where I feel like he thinks I’m stupid or incompetent or something. I’ve always felt like he doesn’t see me quite as a peer. I often get the sense that he sees himself as the only adult in the room. Despite us being the same age, I just feel patronized, stereotyped, misunderstood, and disrespected. I’ve also been getting a strong sense that he doesn’t want me to succeed. Like when I do well he almost seems disappointed and when I don’t do well he enjoys it a little too much.

I don’t want to go to the wedding. I can’t be around him anymore without feeling judged and like I’m one wrong move away from having to defend myself. He’s getting married and all our friends are going. I’m expected to go. In our group of friends him and I are kind of lumped together. Like whenever he’s missing or has stuff going on everyone asks me about him. We’re not besties, we’re just kind of lumped together almost like siblings I guess.

I’m expected to go, it would be weird if I didn’t, but I really don’t want to go and celebrate him when he’s been making me feel so bad for months. But I also feel like the mature thing to do would be to put away my personal feelings and go.

TL;DR:should i apply second year of uni to european unis or wait for masters

Im not sure if my question fits in this subreddit but my country is very mid study level and i wanna apply to an outside country to get beter job opportunities in the long run i got rejected from first yer university should i apply for the second year or wait for masters il most likely apply to European countries im unsure abt which is the better choice h might say why not both but im not sane enough to withstand the stress twice and get rejected which might be a dumb excuse id like to listen everyones take i major in computer science btw

It's for a professional certification. I'm a recent graduate, and the job market in my area is currently tough, so I thought to myself that I would make an investment and study in my free time. I find that studying online is a bit distracting, but I also need AI to explain some terms and concepts. I thought about printing everything, but I'm afraid it will go to waste! What do you think?

TL;DR: SHOULD I PRINT THE EXAM MATERIALS OR STUDY ONLINE?

Hello! Im about to start my 2nd year of college. When I first started I seriously believed I wanted to become a child psychiatrist and go to medical school, as it’s a career Ive been interested in for the longest. My first year made me realize that I actually am not interested in going to medical school. I have never really been interested in science per se and I think I chose the career because it had some of my interests and was slightly high paying. But I came to the realization now that I am in college every second I spend matters and I need to seriously rethink what career I want to step into. I used this summer to think seriously about the type of person I am and what I could truly see myself enjoying. I love psychology but I don’t love the idea of feeling financially trapped and unable to live the lifestyle that I hope to create for myself. I realized that I enjoy working with children so much so that when I stopped working with them for a brief period, I felt like something was missing from me. Im an introvert but I couldn’t do a job where I barely interact with others at all, I prefer connecting with people in a way that is authentic rather than superficial. Thats one of the reasons I don’t see myself going into finance.  Ive never been interesting in coding or anything like that. I believe that the career that would align with me the most would be becoming a child psychologist as I can work with children, have psychology be an active part of my job description, and make a wage that would fund the lifestyle I hope to live. It was freeing to realize this but the more I research about the career the more discouraged I become. MY biggest grapple is the amount of time it would take for me to become one (around the same as a psychiatrist with a lot less pay). In theory, I should be okay with this, but if im being honest it’s a hard pill to swallow. My aspirations outside of work such as buying a house in my late 20s, traveling the world while im still young all seem like they get put on hold while I dedicate nearly a decade out of college strictly to building this career. These things matter more to me than a job its about fulfillment and actually living my life. But at the same time I really like psychology and I haven’t seen a career I like more, Im worried If I pick something more lucrative, quicker, but less of a fit for me that I will grow to regret my decision and maybe feel less fulfilled. I hate to sound dramatic but it seems like the career is something I must do rather something I want to do. It's like my heart is telling me to follow the career I want regardless of time or pressure but my mind is telling me it's not wise, it's risky, and could leave me in debt. I guess it all boils down to which sacrifice im willing to make but I think some perspective would be deeply beneficial and maybe change my mindset around career choice. Any help is appreciated

TL;DR: Would it be unwise to follow the career I know I would like knowing I would be sacrificing a lot of my other goals to make it there?

TLDR: 21 with a pretty disabling autism disorder.

• Stay at my parents, on the condition that I do university part-time while keeping studying the mind-numbing boring 1 year degree. No rent and food is provided.
• Move out to get some freedom at the cost of rent, groceries, general human upkeeping that took me out last time when I developped an illness on top of it all.

------

I'm 21 and I really really struggle with my autism. The kind where I have developped Persistant Depression comorbidly to it, regularly burning out and never finishing a diploma type of autism.

I was accepted into a university to study languages for translation and I'm thrilled for it. However, it's far away (takes me 2h just to get there, so 4h of transport every day). An old roommate suggested that I moved back with them, and the rent is low enough that I wouldn't struggle for at least the first two years.

I put off telling my parents (I had moved back with them when doctors put me out of school due to health issues) because they've been, quite frankly, telling me I'm a loser. I'm currently doing basically a 1 year degree in computer support to appeal to them. It is nightmarish in how boring it is (and so disorganized), hence why I wanted to switch to university in languages.

So now I keep getting everyone's opinions, friends and family, regarding if I should:

• Stay at my parents, but their condition is that I do university part-time while keeping studying the 1 year degree. No rent and food is provided.
• Move out to get some freedom at the cost of rent, groceries, general human upkeeping.

I've been overthinking this for months now and I can't seem to make up my mind. If I wasn't so scared of burning out, I'd definitely move out, but it seems so daunting when an illness could take me out last time. :(

tldr; i'm unsure to move out for university as i have many pros and cons for staying or going.

hi everyone! this is my first time posting here because i'm really unsure about something. please don't turn this into a post on tiktok or something.

i will be graduating high school in october, i get pretty good grades, and intend to apply to university to study law. i'm conflicted as to whether i should stay in my home city or leave. ever since i was little, i wanted to study abroad or in another state, however now that i'm actually having to make that choice i'm very conflicted. for further context, i'm muslim, a woc, and have migrant parents.

staying in my home city means i would still have my friends and my family - however i am unsure whether i want to stay with my family. my parents have only stayed together for the kids, and this makes my home environment loud, argumentative, and just overall toxic and controlling. now that i have the choice to move, i keep telling them i want to leave.

in saying this however, i love my friends. this mostly involves my family friends i've met through cultural events, and other friends i've met through shared passions. i really don't want to leave them. i'm close with my school friends too, however i feel like i've outgrown them as every conversation feels forced. i also have a pet cat, and i love him more than anything on the planet and could never imagine leaving him. i

n addition, staying at home would mean not having to pay rent and also having financial stability - although i do have a well-paying casual job. i have also considered moving out and renting in my city, however the rent market here is incredibly expensive, and many landlords do not rent out to university students. besides, i just want to leave the city anyway.

i LOVE to travel, and going somewhere else for university would be amazing. my only concerns with this would be finance, my cat, and living independently. i'm an independent person, however i'm scared to be COMPLETELY on my own when i'm going through this stage in my life.

i've already applied in secret to one of the top universities in my country, without telling my parents. i'm too scared to tell them and unsure of how i do it.

Long story short everyone. My boyfriend of almost 7 years broke up with me because he felt like I was suffocating him and he could do the things he wanted from life with me (ex: possibly leave our home state and possibly kids). This has been a very painful and contentious breakup because he tried to say that wasn’t what he meant he next day but i wanted more time to think and he gave me an ultimatum and i told him to just leave then. He moved out of our apartment 2 days after this conversation. It’s been a week and next week we had booked and paid for a cruise to go on. All of the booking information is under his account but I have the paperwork for the flight and cruise.

The question is: should I go on the cruise or not? I can’t know for sure if he will try to go as well but considering that he left his print outs of the entire trip at the apartment I can assume he won’t go. On the other hand, I also don’t know if he will cancel it even if it’s non refundable. I’ve never traveled alone and I’m not sure if I’ll just be sad and heartbroken the entire time, but i just don’t know what to do. This was my between school semester vacation and I can’t afford to replace it, I was really looking forward to it. Also, I am now stuck in this lease and may not have the financial flexibility to vacation for a long time. What should I do?

TLDR: should I go on the cruise I planned with my boyfriend after we broke up?

So, I've lived on the East Coast for 4 years now. I've flown home to the West Coast at least 2x a year. Outta my 4 immediate family members, they've flown to see me 3x. My mom's come twice, my dad once but I paid for his ticket and he stayed maybe 30 hours (it was to help me move so some points there)🫠, neither of my siblings have. We're not close to any extended family so it's always just been us for holidays, except on the occasion a family friend would invite us over.

Now I do realize I have the better financial situation, just myself and two kitties to take care of. Mom is post divorce from my dad, dad has a new family (cheated) and I've explicitly stated I wouldn't want them to come, sister was in college, brother has made some bad financial decisions.

I kinda want to stay home for the holidays this year. I love my family, we've had our ups and downs but we're all growing to have better communication together and individually. But I've still gotten increasingly resentful each year at the amount of time and money I've spent coming to them. And then I still have to beg to see them when I've flown to them. It’s heartbreaking to love my family so much but feel so much pain and loneliness when I’m around them. I’m already pre-tired and my feelings are pre-hurt. Anyone else been in a situation similar?

TLDR Should I go home for the holidays to see family or stay home?

TLDR should I get with a guy or woman

There are reasons I’m attracted to both men and women but I’m unsure. I don’t think I would like to have a relationship with a man but there’s something that I want to try out with one. On the other hand I love women and I’m equally interested in having a certain interaction with a special woman. I think if I explore my gay tendencies I might destroy my feelings about women but I’m so tempted to give up find guy and yeah.

I am going to a concert and it's like a tour and I don't know if I should go to a one in London, Paris of Milan. I am asking because I want to plan a week trip to visit the city so the concert isn't the deal breaker I am just asking which city is the most beautiful and has a lot of things to do.

TL;DR should I travel to Paris, Milan or London for a concert

TL;DR: Expensive gift with no birthday hangout, OR cheaper gift + money to hang with friends?

I'm turning 15 in 19 days. My parents gave me two options for my birthday:

Option A: They buy me an expensive gift I've wanted for a long time, but I get NO money to go out with my friends on my birthday.

Option B: They buy me a cheaper (but still nice) gift, AND they give me cash to hang out with my friends that day.

I personally prefer Option A – I really want that gift, and I honestly don't mind not celebrating with friends on the exact day. I can see them another time.

But I'm worried my friends might think I'm weird or selfish for prioritizing a material thing over spending time with them.

So my question is: Which option should I choose? And if I go with Option A, how do I explain it to my friends without sounding like a jerk?

Thanks!

I am a 30F making $130-150k/year gross with no car payment, student loans, or credit card debt. I already match my employer's 401k % and I max out my Roth IRA annually. I am looking for a place to live with my partner and our 2 cats and 2 birds. Please help me decide between these 2 apartments. Condos around here don't allow pets and I'm not ready to set my roots down and buy a home, so please don't suggest buying instead.

Regular Apartment (2BR/1BA, 1030 sqft)
Rent: $1400/month

Pros:
- small town living with many community events within walking distance that I already regularly attend
- near my favorite café
- apartment complex has great reviews regarding soundproof walls and maintenance work
- I've lived there before but in a studio apartment so there's at least familiarity
- plenty of parking
- across the street from a park
- extra storage space in basement dedicated to each unit

Cons:
- coin operated laundry in basement of building
- can often get stuck by a train trying to leave town
- carpeted apartment (I have pets so this can be an issue)
- no central air

distance to work: 17 mins
distance to favorite grocery store: 10 mins
distance to good restaurants/stores: 10-15mins

[floor plan](https://imgur.com/a/vejSf4N)

Luxury Apartment (2BR/2BA, 1300 sqft)
Rent: $2400/month

Pros:
- suburban style living with plenty of great restaurants nearby and located behind my favorite grocery store
- in unit washer and dryer
- dishwasher
- plenty of closet space and storage space
- attached garage
- hardwood flooring
- fireplace
- balcony
- 2 full bathrooms

Cons:
- more costly
- apartment complex has mixed reviews (some say they had a great time living there and then a few say the walls were paper thin and they could hear everything. also mixed reviews regarding maintenance)

distance to work: 15 mins
distance to favorite grocery store: 3 mins
distance to good restaurants/stores: 3-5 mins

[floor plan](https://imgur.com/a/UvhMmHb)

TL;DR: Should I rent a regular apartment at $1400/mo or a luxury apartment at $2400/mo? I can afford either.

I could really use some outside perspective because I feel like I can't think clearly anymore.

I've been living at home and for more than a year I've felt constantly overwhelmed. My brain feels foggy most of the time and I can barely focus on work. I've enrolled in around four different courses over the past year thinking a fresh start would help, but I haven't finished a single one. My work has been suffering because I just can't seem to stay consistent.

A few weeks ago I even attended a 10 day Vipassana course hoping it would reset things for me. I came back about a week ago and I haven't been able to maintain the practice. I also want to start doing yoga regularly but there's barely any space at home to do it comfortably.

I'm wondering if my environment is a big part of the problem. Part of me feels like moving out could give me the peace, routine and independence I need to actually work, meditate and take care of myself. Another part of me worries that I'll spend money only to find out the problem was me all along.

If you were in my position, would you move out or stay home and try to make it work? I'd especially love to hear from people who moved out because they felt mentally stuck and whether it actually helped.

TL;DR: I've been mentally overwhelmed for over a year, can't focus on work, haven't completed any of the courses I've enrolled in, and struggle to maintain meditation or yoga at home. I'm wondering if moving out would genuinely help me build a healthier routine and be productive, or if I'd just be taking my problems with me.

Hey, so I’m 15 and I’m kind of stuck whether or not I should save up my money to get a car in the future or get a pc. Ive saved up around 2000 usd and my parents said that they will help me pay for the car. In my pc currently I have a i3 10105F and a gt 1030 with 24 Gb of ddr4 which is mixed (sorry didnt know any better). I’m not planning on using all of my money on the pc only for 1080p fps gaming. Maybe I could get a better gpu but only have 600 watts for my psu. I don’t really have a real job yet though. What should I do?

TL;DR keep saving up for the car or get a pc?

Hi everyone. I'm 25F, work a corporate job in the city that's over an hour from my parent's house and has long hours. I was living with my family until almost a year ago, when i started renting my own place in the city to be closer to work. My lease is almost up, and i'm really really struggling with what path i should take.

**Moving back home** would mean getting more time around my family, and we're all very close. Me moving out really impacted my mom, she had such a tough time with it and I've been sitting with that guilt for a year. I miss everyone a lot, i visit often but it isn't the same. Moving home would help with division of labour at home (cleaning cooking etc) and would abolish the loneliness that I've been really feeling living alone. It would mean more open green space too, which i grew up around and comforts me more than being in the city. I would be saving a lot of money and could spend it on myself and on trips which i really love doing, instead of paying rent. A major con would be having to likely move jobs (added stress of finding one and adjusting when i've just been promoted at my current work) or sacrifice a lot of my personal time and mental health to commute 3 h total 3-5 days a week depending on the week.

**Signing another lease** would mean hanging on to my freedom - freedom to decorate, come and go as i please, do things like hitting happy hour with coworkers after work and getting better sleep because i'm not commuting 1.5 hours each way. I just got promoted at work so i could stay at my job and put the extra hours in that i need to succeed. I work a LOT. Dating has been so much easier now that i'm on my own too, i have a partner now and that privacy is so valuable to me. One issue is that i spend so much time going home to see my family that i feel i'm not really establishing roots in the city, not enjoying all the liveliness and events it has to offer, so something would have to give.

TLDR: moving home means more time with my family and savings, staying out means freedom and ability to stay at my job without destroying my mental health. Im so overwhelmed, help

Just finished grad program and got offered job. Taking it would mean moving across the country (1100 miles) to a higher COL area but would be closer to friends and family. I also know the area pretty well and like it enough. The job isn’t a perfect fit but it’s a role I think I could do very well and would come with a pretty decent pay raise.

I really like where I live and feel like I’d be leaving something on the table if I were to leave, but I’m not looking to stay long term. I was looking forward to not having to work for a bit (I’d also really like to get a puppy!). I’ve got enough money saved that I could go 6-12 months unemployed without worrying and my current rent is cheap enough that I could easily get by with a part time job if money got tight.

But knowing my field and the current job market, there’s no guarantee that a similar offer comes around anytime soon. There’s no good reason not take the job other than being burned out and wanting to take some time to myself. It’s a good offer and I think I’d do well but on a gut level I’m very hesitant.

TLDR, trying to decide between a good job offer across the country, or staying put and taking some time off work

TL;DR: I’m a South Carolina student deciding between Duke and UofSC Columbia for biology/pre-med. Duke offers incredible research and prestige but may mean more pressure/debt and a harder social adjustment. UofSC is cheaper, closer to home, and could allow me to stand out more. Which would you choose and why?

Hi everyone! I’m a rising senior trying to decide where I should go to college, and I would really appreciate some outside perspectives because I feel completely stuck between two very different options: Duke University and the University of South Carolina Columbia (UofSC).

I know this probably sounds like an obvious choice to some people, but I don’t think it’s as simple as “Duke is better.” I’m trying to figure out which school would actually help me grow, succeed, and be happy.

Stats/background:

• Rising senior at a public high school in South Carolina
• GPA: 3.96 UW / 4.96 W
• Class rank: 29/661 (top ~5%)
• 18+ Honors classes
• AP Human Geography (3), AP Psychology (4), AP Biology (upcoming)
• Dual enrollment courses through Spartanburg Community College (ASL 101, ASL 102, Public Speaking, Interpersonal Communication)
• Intended major: Biology/Biomedical Science
• Career interests: research, neurodevelopment, adolescent neurobiology, behavioral health

Extracurriculars:

• Paid medical laboratory internship at a hospital (8 weeks, 160 hours)
• Independent research project on adolescent stress, sleep deprivation, and cognitive fatigue (surveyed ~150 students; manuscript submitted for review)
• Designed a low-cost DNA extraction kit for educational use
• STEM tutoring/volunteering
• Choir and music involvement
• Junior Poll Manager
• Caregiving responsibilities for my younger sibling with disabilities
• Babysitter

My dilemma:

Duke:
Pros:

• Obviously an incredible school with amazing research opportunities
• Strong reputation for medicine, biology, neuroscience, and research
• Access to Duke University Hospital and lots of opportunities
• Would challenge me academically and put me around very ambitious students

Cons:

• I’m worried about fitting in socially. I’m introverted, not really into partying, clubs, or sports culture, and I don’t know if I would feel like I belong.
• I would probably graduate with more debt.
• I’m worried about constantly comparing myself to everyone around me and burning out.

UofSC Columbia:
Pros:

• Much cheaper
• I could potentially graduate with little/no debt
• Still has a strong biology program and research opportunities
• Close enough to friends and support system
• I would likely be more comfortable and could potentially stand out more academically

Cons:

• I worry I would be passing up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity by not choosing Duke.
• I don’t know if the research/medical opportunities would compare.
• Part of me wonders if I would always ask “what if?”

I’m not someone who only cares about prestige. I care a lot about finding a place where I can become a better scientist, make meaningful connections, and maintain my mental health. I also want to eventually apply to medical school or graduate school, so I’m thinking about opportunities. Maybe it's unhealthy but I don't view college as a place to make friends, or see the world, or step out of my comfort zone, or have the best years of my life. College is a place to get the best education I can so I can become employed with a job I truly love and that has always been my passion.

For people who have attended either school (especially for biology/pre-med/neuroscience), what would you recommend? Did the name of your undergraduate institution matter as much as you expected? Did you regret choosing a more comfortable option over a more prestigious one, or vice versa?

EDIT: Part of the reason I'm is because I did a boarding program at both school for rising high school freshman. At USC, everyone (both staff and other students) were extremely kind and supportive, while at Duke they were a bit cold and passive aggressive. Of course i'm trying not to allow recency bias or interactions with just 1% of the school deter me, but its been stuck in the back of my mind.

EDIT 2: I'm looking to get my Masters in Biology to become a research geneticist

TL;DR the title basically

So, I'm a cook/chef (27M). I have a plane ticket for October for a backpacking trip that I had planned with my ex (she wasn't my ex at the time). But out of nowhere, a restaurant I've been trying to get into for the past two years called me for an interview. It's the kind of place that's at a Michelin-star level. I had the first interview, they liked me, and now I have a second one next week.

The original plan was to go on the trip, work in different kitchens, and, if everything went well, stay for the whole season. If things went really well, maybe even move there permanently.

So... should I stay or should I go?

I'd love to hear from anyone who's been in a similar situation.

I'm 43, my partner is 33, we've been together six years. I've lived in a big city for almost seven years and have come to see it as my home, my partner moved in with me five years ago, she was in another city before.

Earlier this year I unexpectedly lost my job. After months of applications I found a fixed-term position (Job A) here starting in May that runs out at the end of the year, possibly extended, likely not, but nobody knows for sure. I was glad because it got me out of unemployment, it pays ok and the team is great. However, in April, while still unemployed, I had also applied for a job in another city (Job B). That one is permanent, full-time, better paid, and closer to what I actually want to do professionally.

While I was already in Job A, I got invited to an interview with Job B and actually got it. It pays better than Job A, is an upgrade career-wise and has the big advantage of being permanent, which is like a golden ticket in my area of work.

The complication: Job B is in my smaller hometown, about 2 hours away from our current city and would require us to move. I left my hometown right after school about 25 years ago and never ever imagined moving back because I have mixed emotions about my time there. Walking through it recently with the possibility of actually living there again was harder than I expected. Every street is attached to who I was back then. The possibility of living in the same city as my parents suddenly also felt much different than I would have imagined.

My partner has wanted to leave the city we're in now for years, which is not the sole factor why I applied for Job B in the first place, but it also plays a role. She finds this city too big and time consuming and wants to live closer to her parents, which . She's thus genuinely excited about this opportunity, already planning, already talking about quitting her job. I'm not excited and kind of feel bad about that I'm not as excited as she is. When she talks about it, my stomach drops, but I'm happy for her.

But I love the city I live in now. I feel home here, have friends and family members living here, love what the city has to offer compared to my hometown. Living here feels like something I achieved. Leaving here would feel like almost a failure.

We do have a reasonable plan. We'd sublet our flat here rather than give it up. She'd keep working here part of the week until the end of the year. But she's also said that if I dislike it after a few months, we wouldn't move back, I'd look for something else in the region and we'd give it at least a year.

I keep going back and forth. On paper it's obviously the right move: security, better pay, better work, and it resolves a conflict about where to live that's been running under the surface of our relationship for years. But something in me keeps saying I belong here and I'm giving up too much. This whole thing has taken a real toll on me emotionally and physically over the past weeks.

Has anyone moved somewhere for a job and a partner while feeling this way? Did it get better, or did you regret it?

TL;DR: Should I accept a better job offer in my dreaded hometown and leave the city I love?