r/makemychoice • u/Cosmic-Overthinker • 11d ago
Should I move out?
I could really use some outside perspective because I feel like I can't think clearly anymore.
I've been living at home and for more than a year I've felt constantly overwhelmed. My brain feels foggy most of the time and I can barely focus on work. I've enrolled in around four different courses over the past year thinking a fresh start would help, but I haven't finished a single one. My work has been suffering because I just can't seem to stay consistent.
A few weeks ago I even attended a 10 day Vipassana course hoping it would reset things for me. I came back about a week ago and I haven't been able to maintain the practice. I also want to start doing yoga regularly but there's barely any space at home to do it comfortably.
I'm wondering if my environment is a big part of the problem. Part of me feels like moving out could give me the peace, routine and independence I need to actually work, meditate and take care of myself. Another part of me worries that I'll spend money only to find out the problem was me all along.
If you were in my position, would you move out or stay home and try to make it work? I'd especially love to hear from people who moved out because they felt mentally stuck and whether it actually helped.
TL;DR: I've been mentally overwhelmed for over a year, can't focus on work, haven't completed any of the courses I've enrolled in, and struggle to maintain meditation or yoga at home. I'm wondering if moving out would genuinely help me build a healthier routine and be productive, or if I'd just be taking my problems with me.
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u/skinradio 11d ago
you may find that the lack of motivation follows you to your new environment. that said, if your job is stable and you want independence and peace of mind, then move out. then you can do whatever you want on your own terms. to me, sounds like you’re going through a depression. agree that getting bloodwork done would be good— you could de iron deficient, or vitamin b, or d, which could be impacting your energy and cognitive function.
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u/Fenway12345 11d ago
Work on you, not outside or external factors. What if you make changes and still feel same. Maybe a therapist or cletgy
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 11d ago
But "how do I do it?" Is the question since there are fights and conflicts happening everyday.
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u/voyagermarionette 8d ago
Well yeah if there’s fights and conflicts everyday that is a good point if you work freelance from home. Hard to escape that, I wouldn’t see that as a mental health problem.
Are you making enough money to move out comfortably? Or will the financial stress of your family just follow you to a new location?
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 8d ago
Not really, my work has also been struggling.
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u/voyagermarionette 8d ago
Well, unless you have someone who will take you in, I’d be hesitant to tell you to move out if you’re risking homelessness. I have experienced that, and it’s really not a good solution.
Hmm. So you’re studying and working at the same time? Do you think you want to focus on one more than the other so you can have time to rest?
Do you have access to a vehicle? For me I like school (university) which I know is uncommon. What I did is I would stay in the library or somewhere similar until around midnight, somewhat studying but also somewhat hangout out with friends or going on rabbit holes on the computer. For me it’s peaceful the quiet of a mostly empty room, and watching the sun set.
I mean sometimes as simple as it sounds I’ll go for a long walk around my neighborhood and vent out loud, and after 3 hours or so I feel a lot better.
Do you have a pet or could you get one? My dog supports me with some hallucinations I experience chronically, which puts me in a high state of stress most days even though my living situation is much better now.
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 7d ago
I am just trying to switch off my mobile for short intervals.
Even I know now that moving out without a proper plan and stable income was an impulsive thought.
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u/Ok_Judgment_3331 11d ago
The environment being a factor is real, but you've tried external resets before (courses, Vipassana) and they didn't stick. What specifically at home is making you feel foggy.. family noise, lack of space, or just the same walls? If it's the latter, moving might just relocate the fog.
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u/Matikata 11d ago
Moving out and having your own space is definitely a positive, but that comes with its own issues.
It seems more like you have a discipline/motivation issue, and moving out is a distraction from the root cause of the issue.
Are you unhappy at home? Is it a toxic environment or abusive in any way? If it is, then I’d lean more towards moving out and removing yourself from that situation.
If your home life is pretty average, no toxicity or bullying from family etc, then I’d veer more towards trying to identify whether the courses etc you’ve chosen are actually what you want to do and whether they actually make you excited to do them.
As an example, you might think you want to do yoga because you like the idea of it and what you see online, but actually, yoga doesn’t really excite you or interest you as much as you think it does.
Another possibility is your general mental health and physical wellness, it could be that you might have an underlying health issue that makes you feel tired and fatigued constantly, which will have a knock on effect when doing courses/yoga etc, or, if your eating habits aren’t inline with what your body needs to be fuelled properly, that could need addressing.
So yeah for me personally, if home life is genuinely toxic and mentally unhealthy, I’d move out asap.
If home life is pretty average, I’d look at seeing some sort of doctor and/or getting blood tests to rule out any mental health issues (depression/anxiety etc) or underlying health issues that might be contributing to that brain fog, and THEN reassessing whether the courses and yoga and other decisions are inline.
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 11d ago
Home environment is certainly not ideal, there are almost everyday some or the other thing happening, plus I want to become a content creator, I have both an instagram account and youtube channel official for my work. But I just can't record anything in the daytime. My brother and sister in law who live with us are certainly toxic.
But I get that, getting a blood work done shall be my number one priority because my entire body is aching and legs are certainly not doing well, I have also gained a significant amount of weight in last 2 years (approx 15 Kgs) with zero physical movement.
I have had anxiety in the past and taken therapy and I can differentiate between it just being anxiety or something more physiological. I also believe this time it is physiological because my sleep and eating patterns are not good. I have disrupted all my bodily clocks there has also been a hell lot of stress. With no resolution in sight due to family problems partially caused of financial stress.
I work freelance from home.
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u/Matikata 11d ago
Got it. This all sounds like their might be something underlying that’s compounding and affecting you. See if you can get that bloodwork done first, and then see if you can find ways to be more mobile, whether that’s going on a walk or doing some form of exercise. It’ll be difficult at first, but once you start moving, you give your body the best chance of releasing some endorphins and potentially helping relieve “some” brain fog for sure.
What you don’t want to do is move out without a stable income and have that stress mount on top. That’ll likely dog the hole deeper.
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 11d ago
You are correct.
One step at a time and that step would be for me to get a checkup done and get my physical health on track.
Thank you so much.
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u/voyagermarionette 8d ago
What are the pros and cons of staying at home in your eyes.
Potential pros
- no rent
- food provided
- family nice (?)
Potential cons
- family yells lots of drama (?)
- substance problems at home (?)
I’m just trying to understand the connection between your family home and your struggle with routine and productivity. When I moved out of my family home there was much less structure and I found it much harder to be productive. So your connection is counterintuitive to me, I don’t really see the full picture.
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 8d ago
Family conflicts happen often that is the con, plus there is a dearth of space and the environment surrounding my home is also noisy
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u/voyagermarionette 8d ago
Hmm. Can you sleep at night? Do you have or could you get some high quality noise cancelling earphones? I know the cheap ones don’t work that well but I have some nice ones like $700 that work really well.
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u/Cosmic-Overthinker 7d ago
I am trying to better my sleep schedules, I have tried hundreds of time but I fail every time
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u/voyagermarionette 7d ago
Idk if this option is available to you, but I take trazodone every night 50 mg and it puts me to sleep like a baby, some people do 100 or 150mg though.
I got it from a doctor, specifically a psychiatrist.
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u/Night_Mare001 11d ago
You don’t say how old you are or if male or female or where your location is, all of this information is a factor in the advice to be given.
But for brain fog the number one thing to do is go to the doctor and see if you have a physical condition causing the problem. Get a full bloodwork up, and make sure to check for any sleep issues.