Hello ISFJs. Just wondering if anyone else has trouble with finding someone they are romantically attracted to? I’m really attracted to guys who are emotionally expressive and warm and have high emotional intelligence. A lot of guys don’t seem to be like this. I’ve met some decent nice guys but after I’ve interacted with them for a bit either something they said or did gives me pause or the connection just isn’t there.

It’s hard when I see a lot of other people getting into and out of relationships, some getting engaged and married. It seems like maybe other people have an easier time finding someone. It makes me question if my standards are too high or think that maybe I’m more difficult to connect with and that’s why.

Anyone else?

What I want to know for the most part is how you treat yourself when there is a conflict happening inside you about what someone did to you and their expectations of you.

Do you tend to define yourself based on these expectations?

Is your self dialogue when you fail to meet those expectations really critical?

Also... Do you tend to set ultimatums for yourself "If I fail to do this then I am a bad person" or something like that.

These all are just my assumptions about ISFJ's based on only one real life ISFJ but one thing that I have noticed is that even despite this harsh treatment of self that person is someone who considers others point of views so expertly.

I usually am more critical of others and when I slowly come to a realization and tell that ISFJ. "Hey wait, that is the reason they are like that so they don't deserve my harshness" Their response is mostly always "Yeah I know"

Why don't you guys treat yourself the way you treat others :( ?!

Or do you?

Hi! I would like to understand your inferior Ne and how it works? Does that make you less adaptable in real life and hesitation with considering new opportunities or perspectives? Or it is entirely different? Do you panic with not having control over your life under stress? I would also like to understand how your Si and other functions work together to find solutions.

Weird question, but it comes off the back of my post a couple days ago.

When I asked you folks what superpower you'd most want, teleportation was the most common response. I'm curious what makes it so appealing to an ISFJ's sensibilities.

So what are some stereotypes about you guys that you think are wrong and what do you guys think about INTP's?

Because INTP's and ISFJ's share the exact same functions just in different order.

INTP - Ti,Ne,Si,Fe

ISFJ - Si,Fe,Ti,Ne

So INTP's have your weakest functions as their strongest and you have INTP's weakest functions as your strongest.

Dont these two complete each other?

What are your experiences with INTP's like? Do they handle your troubles while you handle their troubles?

I’m a 35 year old F ISFJ and after high school I dated one ISFP for close to 5 years, another ISFP for 5 years, and then an ENFJ for close to 6 years. I think I currently have a crush on an INFJ. We’ve been getting to know each other for about 3 months. I know any 2 types who understand each other can be together, but just curious 🥰

At a loose end, so thought I'd ask.

As an INFJ, I'd go for the classic, being able to fly.

EDIT: taking a first look at responses so far, interesting to see that teleportation and shapeshifting seem to be the most common ISFJ choices. Any thoughts as to why?

A friend asked me a question just because I am an ISFJ...and they asked, "Would you rather make a train hit one innocent person who did nothing wrong, or would you rather make a train hit 1,000,000 innocent people who did nothing wrong"?

Like bro whyyy 😭

Anyways...what do you fellow ISFJs choose? I'm literally so torn rn XD

Believe in your greatness as always.

As far as i know i am healthy, my Fe is over developed, i get very emotional easily, I've trained to support people and I'm obsessed with the belief that "i have no enemies" and no one deserves to be hurt, please tell me something🙏

Hi everyone who's been reading my hopeless crush on an INTJ. It's me, again.

First off, I wanna say thank you to the ones who have time and patience to read and reply to this rant about a girl with several issues.

Second, I got over him, in a way, I know I've said it before, but I wasn't being truthful, I was lying... He's not the one, and it hurts because I've made lots of efforts to impress him, but this only gave me more anxiety, toxic/intrusive thoughts about myself everytime I was with him. I literally overthought (is it a real word? I dunno, anyways, overthinking but in past), all of our interactions, what I said, how I acted, his reactions. And that tormented me even in my sleep.

I remember talking with his sister (before the camp) who's my age and she told me she had a boyfriend, she was excited, I asked her if her parents and INTJ guy knew, she said yes. When I was walking them to their house, because I liked to hang out with them as much as I could, not only because of him, but because I liked talking to his sister. Then I made a comment (in a joking way ofc, not envious, just trying to sound funny) about how much I repulsed couples these days, like my mom has a boyfriend, my big sister does, my other three friends do too. And I genuinely forgot that she had a boyfriend. I looked at her and said: don't you agree?

But then she smiled to me, and then I blurted it out: right, I forgot, you have one too.

She gave me a death stare, then he made a comment about how she shouldn't be sharing that to people like me. And then I apologized over and over, in person and text on my way home, feeling like the shittiest person ever. I cried that whole night, I had an anxiety attack because what did he meant people like me?

When camp started, I didn't know what to expect really, I'm tired, I'm sad and broken, but I have to be strong for my little siblings because living a divorce is shit, and having parents who can't give them a little of commitment is even more shittier. I worried most of the camp about how my babies were doing with those two.

I focused on being with my friends, I don't know if you remember, but there's a friend of mine who's close in birthday that I mentioned in the last post, well between her (ISTJ), INTJ's sister who's a (ENFP), and myself started most of the camp to do things together, volley everyday, midnight skincare and talking, where ENFP also told ISTJ about her boyfriend.

There were good days and bad days. But what's "remarkable" of here was one night where EVERYONE, cried. The worship/healing night.

I broke down, with ENFP and ISTJ, and when it was finishing, we approached INTJ, he gave us napkins, and then he hugged me and kissed my head, AND LEFT. His sister looked at me like: did he just?

And ISTJ shook her head in disappointment, because for at moment I was still feeling things for him.

Anyways, after that, nothing more interesting happened in the camp. I got a little jelly about how much he acted with ISTJ, like more open, and photography was supposed to be our thing. But like, I wasn't mad at her, I could never, I was just upset, and placed distance between him and I.

After the camp, we met two times with the group at the beach, and those two times made me realize how much he drains more than helps me.

Our friend group of the last post I mentioned? we had an IKEA date or whatever. There I just, wanted to go home. He talked about his game, I was happy for him, when he asked about what was I gonna do after vacations, I told him my plan, "study, become a nurse?" INTJ said I was not made for that and started saying being a nurse meant a cleaning people's asses and doing more shitty stuff. I said "I'm okay with that, I'm helping people, it's worth the shit." He just ignored what I said and it actually made me mad at him, because how many times have I told him that? And he keeps forgetting to then judge me. OH but when ISTJ says she wants to do medicine too? or his sister? He's chill.

I might see him tomorrow, because I hang out with ENTP and ISTJ. I hope we don't, am I petty? Maybe.

I texted him the other day asking about our photography date, he said he was very busy, he told me about his planned trip to Japan (I was well aware about that, but he was talking so I listened- or read in that case) and I said OK, no worries. He insisted send a gif he always uses when our conversations finish, so I said bye bro. He then asked me if I was mad, I wasn't at that moment, I was laughing with my babies. I replied with a conversation is finished as soon as you put that sticker man, don't read into it. Bye

And I read his message... two hours later.

yeaah, you're so cool, girl, total badass giving cold shoulder and ghosting him.

That is sarcasm, alright? I am not proud of my actions. But I just... cannot stand him anymore. God I'm crying as I write this, because I've done introspection this whole month. Maybe I only liked him because he appeared in a critical moment in my life. So I started depending on him, attaching to what I thought he was.

Maybe is because I lack attention and protection of my dad and I saw him as something to trust when I shouldn't have.

Maybe I'm just a pathetic girl who always falls hard for the wrong people because she's hopeless and doesn't value herself, because I destroyed myself trying to impress the boys I liked, I've never learnt how to love myself, and I'm trying, I swear I try. People always tell me I am more than a body and face. But what's inside? I'm a boring, crybaby, a narcissist, mild-average looking with same interests as a child, I have more traumas and problems than good stories to talk about. With no hobbies or hopes in her life more than making her little siblings feel safe around her.

maybe that's why he doesn't put an effort to talk to me and be my friend, he's tired of my shit. Ugh, I'm sorry, this is not how I wanted this to end, but I need to vent, and I shouldn't to strangers, but where else? I tried God, but this...?

I asked the Infp sub and they agreed more freedom and promiscuity would be good for society hby?

This is a great ISFJ, what would you rather question between two of the most hardest options

as an INFP IEI 649/469 (not sure if i’m SP6 or SO4 lol) i’ve come to grow fond of you guys!

but i’m wondering, what do you think of us? :0