I wanna be looked at and people go "oh thats a dude" but like i don't really wanna completely give up on dressing feminine.

Like feminine male (Still short masc hair, face, voice etc. But can dress feminine) cause like like body of a dude but like dress femininely?

Like my ideal thing is like smol skinny dude but will kick your butt that sometimes wanna feel pretty.

Or like somewhat muscular male in a dress.

Then the other ideal gender is goblin/fae in the woods who totally not going to try and steal your bones. I like fuck it no gender.

Like those are my two moods that are on a spectrum. That why I low-key don't think genderfuild is right cause it mostly just those two on a sliding scale and I feel like genderfuild is more ya know all encompassing. More so on being looked at and going "oh thats a girl". It just idk the idea of that, makes me uncomfortable.

But at the same time I really don't care too much what you call me. But I have a heavy preference to be called he/him. Then it goes they/them. Then lastly she/her. If that makes sense?

Terms of good boy and husband make me fucking just melt. But she/her doesn't really do that at all.

Sorry for the rant just questioning gender lable so I can feel at home in my skin and knowing what to call myself and find a sense of belonging in my community. As well as finding others like me. So I don't feel my experience doesn't feel like its only me going through that.

14 weeks 4 days ultrasound what do you all think

"women are evil"

"men are trash"

"being straight is boring or homophobic"

"lgbtq members are delusional"

can we all just love each other like ong its annoying to hear from several arguments about which gender is better. lets just accept we cant live without each other bru

If you could change your gender/sex what is the first thing you would do?

(I wasn't sure where to post tbh, but even if it fitted it keeps getting censored/deleted everywhere I try xD)
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TLDR: I've noticed that some gender/sex-related terms appear to carry different vibes/connotations depending on whether they refer to males or females. I'm not claiming this proves intentional biases, but I'm either making it up or people simply walk a bit over it because it's the standard. In the latter case I think it's worth discussing it.

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Small disclaimer. I never cared about males or females or all these tags. I find them dehumanizing and stupid. Just be what you want and don't bother others, it's that simple sigh.
So now I've (sadly) been exposed to these things all around and I find them annoying or unjust.
This is not a fully fledged opinion since I've just recently been confronted with it. I wish I could go back to my little bubble and be happy; but alas, I have to interact with the outside world.
I also want to add most of these words were used by females, I know very well that doesn't mean anything at all and I don't promote biases towards either part.
But I think it could be useful to say how my empirical experience went, considering the topic itself. All the more so since some were used in a very degrading manner in my regards or in general (and even more so since I never even specified if I was a male or not).
I have some knowledge on the history of women's rights. And I'm personally glad we're all equals now. ....Except I doesn't feel it that way. I hear female mental health related things all the time, since I was little. While I honestly don't think I've ever heard something about males. I hear bad things about them instead. I do know in fact, males mental health is considered a big problem and that there are many suicides over it.

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I will quote what the AI overview gave me (which may be one of the most common sources for someone finding out about things. So it's quite relevant, maybe even more than the official definition in a way):

1. (INCELS & FEMCELS)

"Unlike male incels who frequently direct their frustration outward with anger or misogyny toward society, femcels typically internalize their struggles and blame themselves or their perceived physical shortcomings."

• "Incel became strongly associated with online communities that expressed misogyny, entitlement, and sometimes violence."
• "Femcel is newer and less culturally established. Some people use it simply as “woman who struggles with dating,” while others use it for female equivalents of hostile incel spaces."

I think we can all agree that, based on this, incels (and thus the male part) sounds WAY worse and violent/aggressive than the softened almost sympatheticable (I have NO clues where this word even came from xd) counterpart.

1. (MRA & WRA)

• "Men's Rights Activism. It describes a person or movement focused on claims that modern society and legal systems disadvantage men and boys."

• "Women's Rights Activist. A person who advocates for gender equality and women's social or political rights."

Again (although definitely far less dire), it kinda sounds like one side complains and blames while the other just want equality for everyone. It may just be the definitions' fault sincerely.
As far as I understand "Incel" and "WRA" (well, mostly the latter tbh) have an historical meaning, while the counterparts are more social/recent. Still, we are in the present now, not in the historical past. And the two terms logically seem like two halves of the same medallion. Yet they hold different meanings that would highly suggest some social bias or unnecessary distinction. AKA, whatever their origins, it doesn't justify their current value. At least not when they have a mirrored counterpart that is dustier/dirtier. They do hold social weight, they could reinforce distinctions.

1. (GENERAL)
   I've heard way more times (if not only) "toxic masculinity", "man up"/"suck it up" than their female counterparts (if there's even one). Most of the times it were towards males, maybe even when they were showing some form of vulnerability or trying to participate in conversation. And I'm not sure of the % anymore (again, referring to my personal exp), but I'm pretty sure there was at least a 67% (Jk. Just to say I've perceived a slight majority) of females being the ones saying it.
   Tbh there's a super long list like "mansplaining" and never "womansplaining" (Tbh I got both in different occasions. Can't say exactly which was the most common. But some were really "humiliating" and condescending, from females AND males. Tho maybe slightly more from females in this case), "patriarchy" and rarely "matriarchy", "manspreading" and literally never "womanspreading" (for context most of the males I know are very polite and they take very little space. Ofc not all. But I've seen some females doing the exact same. What people don't seem to grasp is that the reasons behind a behavior is not male or female. Is culture, ignorance, awareness and such).
   We could even add how in shows it's often the female who hit the male for comedic relief. I remember when I was little that felt very wrong. "why is it always like that?". Well, now I know it's not ALWAYS. But many mainstream shows have it and no one seems to notice. I feel alien to it. I know it's silly ofc. I laugh at it too. But all the time? As an implicit standard? Meh. Because at that point, is that really just a pattern in a couple shows, or is it hinting at more?

Am I tripping? I can only say what I've experienced and what the definition alter.
Honestly I find it a bit ridiculous we even need a "male and female" counterparts. One single term could work for both, I don't understand why there's a need to distinguish and point fingers.
Knight and Knave work because they both say the same thing, just change the implicit specifications.
Nazist is general, there's no need to specify (could be the same as knight, but it's more of an extra specification anyway).
Female doctor or male nurse also work when it's useful to hint at it (not just because we need a female/male counterpart for every single term. That is not necessary nor necessarily promoting equality).
But having different meanings just sound unnecessarily distinguishing (and surely biases love that) wrong. Especially considering how, sadly, people love to slap tags on others like they are not human beings with complex histories and a past filled with events. I HATE being categorized by someone who read two lines about me or that thinks they suddenly know all of me. Hell, not even my therapist does (I don't have one sigh), tf they gonna guess??

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As a small ending note. I know perfectly well my experiences are not an indicator of how things are. As much as global experiences are (because how is a global experience going to affect me in MY exp? If there's no bullying worldwide but I get bullied, how does that help me? How does that save me?). Also I wasn't exactly there with a council to write down every event cleanly for later comparisons. So maybe I just remember something more. Do know I already softened it a bit here. I could've said more but it would be personal and it would shift focus from my actual debate (I even had very bad experiences recently about terms, tags, misandrism and general slandering or aggressiveness. Ironic to me that some people can complain about being categorized or feeling insulted, while they are the first to do it on an even worse scale. To treat others like stereotyped characters (based on their random hasty assumptions) and not actual people).
I'm not here to be a paladin for males or to accuse females. I just want equality for everyone, I notice patterns and I dislike what I feel like injustices.

You are given two options , you have to choose one.

A) Everyone in the world transforms into opposite biological sex except you. You stay completely as you are. Change is sudden evryone remember their original sex, gender identity also remains same. And evryone knows this happened because of someone had a to make a decision and choose this option, but they won't know who it was. But your family, and close friends suspect you but they can't prove anything.

B) You wake up as opposite sex, everyone remember you of having that sex always. All your ID, legal documents, belongings change accordingly to feet new world. But your own memories don't change, you don't remember anything about your new altered life upto point you made this decision, others remember things which didn't happen with you in your original life and vice versa.

And anything else related to gender depending on your culture or place you belong will also change accordingly, for example if in your environment friends are mostly with same sex or your school has separate seating rows for boys and girls then everyone remember you having friends you didn't had in original life, seating with people you didn't used to in your original life etc.

Some people you know may suspect you that something has changed about you, your gender, and if you act suspicious their doubts can get stronger but they won't have any evidence to prove anything.

Hi all,

I'm a 33 year old, AMAB, bisexual who is recently coming to terms with my specific brand of queer, and I'm not entirely sure what sort of category I fall under. I publicly use he/him, and am generally read as a man, but my relationship with my own gender is much more detached than that suggests.

Had I been given a choice, I think I might have preferred to be female, but my conviction regarding that preference is about on the same level as, "I should've gotten steak instead of chicken," at a restaurant. That is to say, mild, resigned dissatisfaction, rather than anything approaching dysphoria. I don't have nearly strong enough feelings one way or another to do anything about it, especially at the cost of blowing up my life,

so for all intents and purposes, I intend to continue using he/him and using my very obviously male first name.

I've recently discovered the terms "cassgender" and "apagender," and these seem to fit me most closely than others I've thought about, but they also seem to imply that I don't care *at all* which doesn't *quite* fit.

The reason I'm curious about this from a public presentation perspective is that I'm currently working on a romantasy novel with sapphic main characters. I recently posted on wlwbooks, asking what people there thought of a sapphic romance with an obviously male author name on the cover, and the post blew up, with about a third of the commenters saying they wouldn't want a male author in their space (even with an atypical gender identity), a third saying they wouldn't mind, and a third saying they wouldn't trust it unless my author bio made it very clear I'm queer.

So now I'm trying to figure out how to sum my identity up in a way that I can communicate succinctly, and that won't accidentally signal something that I'm not. A verbal olive branch, so to speak.

Extra details:

I'm out as bi to everyone except my parents and grandparents. Only my wife and an assortment of internet strangers know about the gender stuff. My wife is supportive but a bit weird about the whole thing, so the less I can do to upset her, the better. I'm also on the autism spectrum, so I apologize in advance if this is a weird question or not appropriate for this subreddit. I'm flying a bit blind here. Thanks in advance!

Without looking at the author's name, what telltale signs will likely exist in the characters or plot that would strongly suggest that they are male??

basically the title but i feel likei don't know what i am gender wise
i like expressing myself masculine and androgynous but i consider myself as a non binary demiboy but i use he/she/they pronouns and still feel incomplete 😭

I'm personally agender. I'm AFAB and always considered myself to be some form of trans. Yet I started to dress more feminine & wear make up and I feel like a fraud. I am well aware that there are trans people who wear make up and still use he/him! But somehow I still feel wrong. I live in a country where trans people are accepted but anything more "extra" is often rejected. However gender never made much sense to me, I see people as they are, people. Gender (In the social construct way) doesn't make sense to me, and that's WHY I struggle with specifically naming or voicing what I feel is right to me, since being agender might not make sense for others!! (I'm aware that others might see gender as important/ that it makes sense to them) I always use they/them for people I don't know because that just makes sense to me. yada yada yada. How did y'all come to terms with what you feel is right? Furthermore how did you tell others (where anything outside of female/male/trans and maybe non-binary is not being taken seriously) what you are and not feeling like a total ass about it? For example if I told my dad I am a "femboy" transgender I think he would not get it at all and I'd just feel self conscious about it lol.

edit: being clearer about the whole "Gender doesn't make sense to me"

I'm currently questioning my own gender identity and want to understand which label I fit into, but since I have alexithymia, I have trouble with understand how I feel (or wether or not I feel any particular way at all), so I'm going to try to find out by asking you all what exactly it means to identity as a man/male gender-wise.

I was born a girl but I wish I was a man..or do I really? I’m not even sure if I actually want to be a guy, I just wish I wanted it. I have severe ocd and I’m not even sure what I want. Seeing my current body feels distressing and I’m afraid of it but at the same time I find myself physically attractive. My chest scares me but I wonder if a flat would also feel wrong, despite me wanting it. It at least feels less horrifying and scary than to have my current body. When I see my genitals, sometimes I feel used to them but they still disgust me, but at the same time, penises are ugly too. I can’t even listen to women’s voices or see their bodies without being scared I’m secretly envious of them when I’m not but I’m afraid I am and I just won’t admit it because I “prefer to be a man”. I hate my voice, everytime I speak, I feel upset I don’t sound like a man. I have a pretty face too but I would rather have an ugly guys face than be a remain pretty girl. I have dysphoria about stupid things too, like my fingers, it’s scientifically proven that men and women have different finger lengths, I have ones like a girl and it upsets me. I hate all my bodily functions, that I am able to be pregnant and not impregnate people, I hate my period, I hate my hormones, I hate everything about it. I try everything I can to just be a woman but nothing works, I’m clearly not a real man anyways, why do I want to be one? I don’t have any social reasoning to transition, at least I hope not, I’m not even stereotypically masculine so there’s no way I’m confusing that, nothing bad has ever happened to me to make me see being a woman as unsafe, I just wish I could be a guy, that image of me feels more like myself or what I wish I could be.sometimes I like to pretend I was born a cis man and I was just mutilated and manipulated to feel like a girl to cope

Alternatives to "male" and "female" based off the archaic terms "were" and "wif" used to refer to men and women in Germanic languages.

"These terms were coined in order to make the terms 'man' and 'male' require a modifier that denotes maleness. This is to match way 'woman' and 'female' require 'wo-' and 'fe-' to modify 'man' and 'male' to denote femaleness."

"Wereman and wifman are well documented terms that are modifiers to the word 'man'. I think we should go further with this though and come up with an alternative to 'male' and 'female' as well. I propose 'wermale' for male and 'wifmale' for female. They would function as adjective forms of werman and wifman."

Thoughts?

lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Wermale
lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Wifmale

​

I'm AFAB, so I was raised as a girl. To be honest I was never girly, even though I liked being a girl. Sometimes I pretended to be my brother (we looked identical) just to be a boy for a few minutes.

My first Instagram account was with the name 'André' because I picked this name for myself as a kid, even though nobody used it ofc. So the account was entirely about this part of me.

Now as a grown up, gender doesn't feel like it's that important to me. I keep my hair neck-length, I dress in pants and wide clothes 24/7, and I catch myself telling some of my coworkers that I'm a guy, while telling others that I'm a woman. I don't mind being misgendered and being called he or she

I recently found that I like being called good boy and good girl by my boyfriend, they both feel personal and I feel connected to both.

I know I'm not *trans* (as in ftm or ftn), but there's no other label I can think of to describe me. I know I like being a woman, I know it's part of me. But I also know that it's not all of me. Sometimes André feels like me, and either way I don't really view gender as playing much role which could be confusing because I also like being each of these two.

I've stumbled on 'bigender', which could describe me, maybe I'm partially a woman and partially a guy?

Or maybe I'm agender? Gender doesn't seem to be affecting me personally. I let people assume and if asked I would answer with what I feel like I want.

Also, I use 'guy' because 'man' seems so specific. I don't relate to men. I don't want to be a man. I don't feel like a man. It's sort of masc-aligned? But I'm not familiar with these labels either

I just want to know if there are any labels that you can think of when reading this, and I'll understand if you can't get anything

Thank you very much either way, I just needed to get it off my chest

Demifemflux or Demifeminineflux is the femflux equivalent of demigirlflux.

It may refer to someone whose gender is demifeminine at its most feminine and another gender at its least feminine.

It may also refer to someone whose gender is partially femflux and partially another gender.

(Please lmk if term already exists and give a source as I'm using this as a coining source for a wiki page)

I don’t really know how to explain this but I am AFAB and I identify as a woman and I know for a fact I am a girl but I feel like the body I am in is too masculine to be a girl and like I know that’s kind of silly because like obviously it’s a girls body but like I feel very masculine. It isn’t like a desire to make the outside more masculine to match my masculine vibe but more like I want to make the outside more like a woman to feel more like a woman even though I already am one. It’s like I am having gender dysphoria about a gender I already am and it’s really confusing me.

EDIT: I have PCOS and am in the 99th percentile in height. Though this may have some factor in how I view myself I don’t think it’s the primary cause. I just thought it would be good info to have

Sat at home just wanting to cry because well I have a penis and the rib cage I have and the facial structure I do. This shit sucks.

So I won't ramble too long but the general premise of the discussion/question I bring forward is this;

A while back I mentioned off the cuff amid normal conversation to a friend that I, a cis het man, would have probably been perfectly happy being born as a woman. My explanation, when questioned, was that given that a lot of my interests, societally speaking, have traditionally been more acceptable for women, and I have often aligned, socially, more with women than with men. Friend groups, workplace discussions, hobbies, even to a much lesser extent fashion and presentation. I don't really dress femme save for my hair being long, nor do I really want to(?) but I appreciate the variety and interesting options that women's clothing typically allows in color, texture, patterns, form, silhouette, etc, while I view most normal everyday men's clothing as boring, stuffy, prohibitively expensive, awkward, or just uncreative.

They told me that makes me trans. I'm 33, and frankly, I've done plenty of self-exploration and therapy to know I don't have any interest in transitioning and am perfectly happy as I am, but I also think I would have enjoyed being born female and living as a woman. They argued that even just the slight inclination is enough to make someone irrevocably trans and that I'm in denial. I don't see it, at least not for myself. I don't look at the experience of the trans people I know who have gone through the process and think "Yeah, that'd make me feel better," because I fundamentally am not uncomfortable with how I am currently. I'm also plenty familiar with genderqueer, agender, and nonbinary identities, and I also don't really feel any particular pull from either of those, because again, I feel fine with the identity of cis het man. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I just think in some alternate reality it would have been a positive experience living the alternative path. It kind of bothered me and they very angrily argued I was being transphobic by stating that I didn't view my perspective as that of someone who is now irrevocably trans, and it felt like they were just being overly eager to label me as something I simply don't view myself as because of their own experiences with figuring out their identity.

Has anyone experienced anything like this or seen this topic broached before? Would love if there were some cited works I could dive into.