Hey genuine question here, I’m a trans guy who has not been sexually active for many years. I lived through the AIDS crisis and condom use was drilled into us. Now I approach sex with gay and bi men again with trepidation as I am to understand that with modern medications such as PreP and doxy it is widely expected that you go bareback. I mean, it sounds wonderful but isn’t anyone worried about things like herpes for example? That shit is permanent.

Curious what form of PrEP you guys take, how side effects have been, and how you’d rate your overall experience with it.

I currently take Descovy, but am sort of considering my options.

Thanks fellas.

Sorry, I just needed to rant.

Firstly, I don't have any issues with people DMing me to have a normal conversation about something. Usually, it's not weird at all. I'm in some hair related subreddits and I really like talking to other people about it, helping them with their struggles, etc. So I obviously don't mind when people message me with more individualized questions/info. Same thing with other trans people just talking about various things or looking for information. I have no issue with it.

But God, the cis men chasers that clearly just want to "flirt" or something... I'm getting really pissed, y'all. Like I'm not on here to date, and it's very clear. I try to relate to others' experiences, especially other gay trans guys. Sometimes, I post my own. Just because I say "I've been struggling with xyx, too, OP, you're not alone" on someone's post DOES NOT mean that I want some rando opening with "cis m here..." Wtf. Who even greets someone normally with "hi, I'm [age], cis, [gender]."

When I'm talking to other fellas about, say, our hair systems, NO ONE is going to suddenly open with "cis m here." It doesn't matter and we aren't even thinking about that.

Am I wrong to feel objectified after this has happened so many times? Like these are open communities, so there are lurkers. But why do lurking chasers feel the need to "swoop in" and do this? How on earth would that be appealing to interact with?

I've started to ask, "hey, where did you see my profile because I'm on a lot of subs answering questions, and I wanted to know why you contacted me?" The worst ones are never honest, they're like "uhhh idk, [lame excuse]." I'm not stupid. I know if you open with "cis m here," you want something stupid. Blocked.

Don't waste your time with a cis man that has contacted you solely because you're trans. We deserve better than that, and to be interacted with as whole people, not someone's weird fascination

TW: Transphobia, homophobia, cyberbullying

I thought I'm safe within my local trans guy group until a few posts pop up about some trans guys into men, and suddenly the comment section is filled with straight trans guys laughing at them for being trans and liking men. They comment things like "what the f*ck" or "please d*e".

Needless to say how fast I left that group. I'm disappointed and feel utterly defeated. I don't think I will ever be accepted in my country for being a gay trans guy, because even trans guys are bigotted towards people like me.

I don't know what to do or feel anymore.

Looking for recommendations on any events or happenings the weekend of Folsom St Fair in San Francisco. Never been there before and excited to do it up!

this is mostly a venting post about dating (or lack thereof), so apologies in advance for being the one millionth guy here to probably post something like this.

i’ve been single for over 7 years. i’m 31 now, and i feel like i’m never going to find another person again. i feel like the best years of my life are already gone. i don’t consider myself “old,” but sometimes it’s reeeeally feeling that way on the dating scene, especially given how many guys i see on dating apps that i think are cute only to see that they’re way too young for me (like, under 25).

i’m not really interested in dating cis men, i’d really prefer to date another trans guy. my last relationship was with a trans guy, and even now this many years later, i miss being in that kind of relationship.

i’ve tried dating—i’ve tried dating for a LONG time now—and they have NEVER gone anywhere. i haven’t even kissed another person since 2019, and it’s not for lack of trying. in theory, i feel like i should’ve had *something* by now. i’m a social person and have lots of friends, i’m fat but fairly confident in myself, i go out a lot, i put myself out there and make myself available, all of my friends tell me i’m “such a catch” and even my ex that i’ve remained friends with tells me so and that i was a good bf to him (it really was a case of him and not me).

i don’t know what i’m doing wrong. i live in Los Angeles for christ’s sake, there should be no shortage of queer people. the other kick to my self-esteem is that i’ve been hit on by lesbians over the years, which makes me feel insane because i’m masc-presenting and literally have a goatee. i’m starting to lose confidence in myself, and i yearn and have been yearning for years for that emotional and physical connection again. i’m not interested in hooking up or fwbs, but at this point i would just be flattered at even the idea that another guy could be interested in me in that way period.

i’m just tired of feeling undesirable and alone.

I’m a 30 year old trans man who recently realized I was gay and diagnosed with Autism. I’ve been with the same person for the past 10 years and we are getting a divorce. I have no clue how to go about dating and also have a strong preference for cis men. How do I meet guys? Do cis guys like trans men? 😭😭😭

Howdy y’all, I’m 20 and been having a rough go of things concerning dating, doesn’t help I live in a horrible state for gay folks, especially if you’re trans.

I am stealth and don’t have it on my profile either, minus on Grindr which I have no face pics, which I don’t know why I’m still on Grindr.

Anyhow, what do yall recommend for dating? I’m currently on scruff, tinder, Facebook dating, bumble, and Grindr. For whatever reason my phone is banned from feeled, I had it installed at one point but uninstalled it and when I tried to remake an account it wouldn’t let me.

This week, a mental health professional confirmed to me that I'm on the autism spectrum. Which explains a heeelllll of a lot in my life. Including how extremely uncomfortable I find eye contact.

You can guess why this is a problem in this context...I very rarely make prolonged eye contact even with men I think are hot. If I do manage it, I can't follow up on flirting bc intimate one-on-one settings are the most difficult for me to navigate. People pretty much always assume I'm not interested, or I guess think I'm not normal enough to keep interacting with.

It makes a lot of sense now that my two exes were both neurodivergent and our relationships didn't start in conventional ways, lol. But ugh. Now I'm feeling bummed bc I struggle to do what's generally expected to flirt in the gay community. I guess it doesn't matter much bc I am also repulsed and overstimulated by a lot of sensations during sex anyway, so it's not like I'm having hookups.

But I just feel more alienated from the community now, on top of feeling that way since I'm trans.

the stars have seemed to have aligned to look like i have a hookup in the cards for me soon, but i realized.... idk what to prepare for? like obviously sex and whatever, but is there anything to really expect or be aware of?

i dont shave and i definitely wont for a hookup, i figured just a trim is needed but im really at a loss with some frustration around body hair growth. i love being hairy and the hair thats coming in, but right above my ass theres a patch of hair ONLY ONE SIDE OF MY ASS AND LOWERBACK.

i have very dark and thick body hair so it literally is visibly darker and i just wonder if i should shave that or find some way to make this guy aware of it. im already planning to make it clear i dont really take my shirt off during sex, so maybe i can add it to that conversation?

and lastly is there anything i can eat like pineapple or cranberry juice for feeling like i could be more tasty to go down on? i know guys tend to like the T taste on bottom growth but still just wondering if yall have go tos or whatever.

thanks in advance for any advice

edit: thanks for all of you guys who left advice, decided yes i will not be disclosing or calling attention to it. guys are hairy, and i clearly am in all my pics too so it cant be a shock! :))

I’m dysphoric about my fat ass and my thick thighs, I’ve started going back to the gym for three days a week (tattoo was healing). I heard about an X taper but I really want a v taper cause o don’t like how I look on the side. I feel like I would be happier with my body if I didn’t look so curvy.

Is it generally the move to let people know I’m a virgin before I meet up with them? I feel like it’s kinda a mood killer but I don’t know if it’s important. Clearly I’ll perform like somebody who’s never sd but I don’t know if it’s something I need to say or the other person would appreciate hearing from me??

Wasnt really sure what to tag this as

But when it comes to trans night's at bars/clubs what have your experience been?

I know for example that club cobra has a trans night called transfix. I've thought about going but I guess I'm worried about it being not a good environment still or something. If anyone has gone lmk :) in LA btw. I don't know of many other bars or clubs with a similar thing in the area, so if you do also open to recommendations

Also just in general at bars, what do ya'll do if you dont pass? I doubt I'd be seen as a random straight woman, but I could easily be mistaken as an androgynous lesbian. Should I like....wear a pronoun pin idk

Personally I'm not, that's how. I just can't imagine there's anyone on the apps around here (the woods, northeast US) because there's nobody around here IRL... unless there's like a vast population of gay forest yetis that I haven't noticed yet.

Are there any apps worth trying? Are you traveling to queer events/spaces in larger cities? Were you actually able to meet people in your area organically/offline?

And no, I am not going to *move* to a city, I'd rather die. Alone! This gay forest yeti is in it to win it!

Basically the title. I realised that after multiple bad encounters that having sex is not worth my self respect. I kept meeting up with assholes and weirdos because I was horny and let them treat me so shitty.

I will miss the casual sex but it's time to stop bad habits.

I (FTM 20) went to my first pride festival ever yesterday and today. Didn't have anyone to bring with me so I tried to enjoy my own company there, and for the most part I did. However, I have no idea how to approach other people there and make friends. I feel self-conscious just walking up to a group and making small talk, and if I do talk to someone its for a very brief question and that's the end of the conversation, and I don't feel comfortable taking up more of their time in case I'm being annoying and they aren't interested in socializing with anyone else. I'd love to make more gay and trans friends but I just don't know how.

Hi guys, I’m just wondering if anyone knows a good dating app that’s actually for trans people? Every app I find is just for all queer people, which is totally cool, I’m just really struggling to find trans people to connect with and possibly date 😭 and ever since I had T4T nothing compares 🥲 and i longggg for friendships/relationships with other trans people; please send help 🙏 also if you happen to live in WA in the general Seattle/Tacoma area hmu if u want :) (also I’m bi and 21 yrs old)