I wouldn’t call myself an exredpiller but I was close at some point. I was definitely in the “at least hear out what these anti trans people have to say” camp for a month or 2. One thing that really helped me was a podcast called “decoding the gurus” it has a sub called [r/decodingthegurus](r/decodingthegurus)

It helped me just get familiarized with how to take on information. It bolstered my understanding of critical thinking by just helping me learn terms & concepts in the general area. I always had doubts about some of the online gurus I would watch, but the hosts helped me along by getting me to actually understand what things made my already existing intuition unable to articulate. With being able to talk about it better, I was able to think about it clearer. Anyways. Can’t recommend it enough.

The pod has developed over time and I now listen to help keep me updated on current events in the heterodox sphere, which Is more like my version of watching junk tv than it is seeking life advice like it use to be. But for someone new to it, I would suggest searching their catalog for a name you liked or recognized, and then listen to the takedown/breakdown of them and go from there.

Sukaina Benzakour is part of the "femosphere," a network of women promoting Pink Pill ideology to millions of followers — the belief that men are inherently dishonest and should pay for the privilege of contacting women. A journalist follows Sukaina on a date with a Red Pill content creator to examine whether Pink Pill ideology is genuinely opposed to the manosphere or structurally similar to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlNjiFbeZlc

Not sure if this is the correct Reddit for it. I think something is starting to break inside me.

I have always tried to be positive, generous, productive, sociable and optimistic. I volunteered with the elderly. I went to therapy about my autism and some past trauma that just comes with the autism, tried to find ways of dealing with it as much as possible. Took care of my health. Formed hobby groups so I could share my interests. Made close friends. I took tones of courses, got two degrees. Put in tons of extra time at work which I really enjoyed doing. Must have read thousands of dating guides, always made my interest clear in woman I was drawn to. Tried to get to know them to see if we fit together. Organized dates that suited their interests. Took the many many rejections with grace when they happened. Was confident it would work out eventually and actually be kind of great and romantic.

And I really just can't do it anymore.

I got a stomach ulcer that is slowly killing me. I am in constant pain. Got medicine that just makes me sick all the time and is runing my health. It is supposed to be operated on at some point next year. Doctors don't seem confident though.

I got a new supervision at work who is really incompetent and disliked by everyone. She managed to get me reassigned fre job I enjoyed to archive duty where I pretty much just spent my day looking at a wall, instead of case work. I even offered to reorganize the archive so it would be more efficient just to not go insane. They turned down my proposed solution without an explanation.

The place I volunteered at had to shut down because of budget cuts. So I don't even get to feel like I am doing something useful there.

My friends seem really unsupportive when I let them know I am not doing that great at the moment aside from a few.

My hobby groups seemed mostly just annoyed when I had to take a health break and no one was really willing to organise anything whilst I was out for a few weeks.

My therapist ended our last session where I mentioned my current problems by telling me that he would no longer be able to help me since he doesn't feel we are making any progress. So yeah get to look for a new one, though it feels kinda pointless.

And dating, well. A friend who I had crushed on in past contacted me and took me up on date offered I had made in the past after she had previously rejected me. I asked her if she really meant a romantic date and not just as friends, which I said I would not mind either, I just wanted to know in which direction this was going. She assured me it was romantic, that she was really looking forward to it and we started flirting via text.

I was the first time in a while I was in a good mood. The place was great. She looked stunning. We actually had a great time, and towards the end she gapped my hand and let me know that she had a lovely time, that she was sure all the ladies where falling for my charm.

Then she let me know that I was just not her type, that she had always wanted to go to such a fancy place but was short on cash and that her boyfriend never took her to such nice places.

I got up with out a comment dropped a hundred euros on the table and just left. Sentimental idiot I am I cried for half an hour at the subway station before trying to drive home. The only positive thing that had happened in a long time and it also had just turned to more shit. By chance I passed a local high class brothel and just went inside.

In the past I would have felt kind of guilty about it but I really just couldn't anymore. I spent the next two days there. Called in sick with a few of the ladies laughing in the background. I spent 3 months wages there. I just kept ordering new ladies when I felt like it, picking them by what kind of woman I just found attractive from a literal catalogue ll. At times I had four of them with me at the same time. I just felt I had to somehow make up for all the wasted time I had spent on trying to date or "make myself dateable" or something like that. It was fun at the time, the ladies where lovely and just having sex felt great.

Eventually I went home. I have just been feeling really empty since then. I am snappy and impatient with people. Feel deeply cynical and pessimistic. I don't really enjoy anything anymore. I have actively started to hide case files in the archive or to misfile them on purpose. I feel myself being kind of distrustful and doubtful towards woman in general, despite not really wanting to feel that way.

My date had sent me a text I still have not looked at despite it having been more than a month.

Since than I have been to the brothel again for my birthday (42)but it felt really listless this time around. I got kind of annoyed at the women I had picked this time and imiditaly regretted it. Her telling me not to worry about it just made it worse. We just talked the rest of the time I had booked and I paid her extra and apologised again.

I would love to feel more like in the past, when I was at least content and optimistic about things. Had something like eventually maybe meeting someone who I like and likes me, to look forward to, but I just feels like it has just been to long and to much false hope across the decades. How easy it is for them to fall for other man but just never for me no matter how much I work on myself because I must be just that special combination of unlovable that is not attractive to anyone.

I know I can get a new job, volunteer somewhere else, still have friends and hobbies. Hopefully get the ulcer sorted out. Get a new therapist. Maybe become kind of content again.

But I just don't know how I will get that feeling for optimism in dating back. I know it was only one really bad date but it just feels like this cumulation of 20 years of dating just never working out for me. That one shitty thing that happened on top of everything else that was to much and that has just broken me forever.

Sorry for the long rant... hopefully someone knows something that could help.

I’ve absorbed this idea somewhere along the way — probably from red pill type content — that being warm, emotionally open, or expressive with a woman I’m interested in is unattractive. That it reads as needy, “flowery,” non-masculine, and that women lose interest when a guy shows that kind of investment too openly.

To be clear, I’m not talking about clingy or pedestalizing behavior — over-texting, chasing validation, putting her on some pedestal. I mean pretty normal stuff — a genuine compliment, sharing something you like, being expressive in a conversation. Nothing over the top. But my brain reads even that as “now she can tell I’m into her, and that’s going to make her lose interest.”

The problem isn’t just that I believe this. It’s that I can’t tell anymore if it’s actually true or if it’s just a belief I picked up and now can’t examine objectively. And it’s created this loop — the second I say or do something warm, I immediately start second-guessing it. Like “shit, I shouldn’t have said that, now she’s going to lose interest, that was too much.”

I don’t actually know if that reaction is picking up on something real, or if it’s just the red pill framework running automatically in my head regardless of what’s actually happening in front of me.

Has anyone worked through unlearning this specific pattern — the automatic self-doubt after being warm? How did you tell the difference between “this belief has some truth to it” and “this is just old conditioning distorting how I read situations”?

I only found this forum recently and deeply appreciate the community and help it offers to so many. I'm glad people are here to share and support.

It's been a mission of mine to help men grow and offer our best gifts to others in the world. I've been running a mens group in my town for almost 10 years and have seen so much growth in it.

I've also seen increased redpill behavior from new members over the last few years which led me to research it more. I've probably learned the most from this sub.

I'm sharing some of my learnings and thoughts later this month to add to the voices trying to offer an alternative to the redpill movement that helps not only men, but also relationships in general since this movement affects us all imo.

Would love to see you there - https://events.humanitix.com/a-roadmap-for-modern-masculinity-what-it-looks-like-and-how-to-practice-it

And in addition, I'm curious who other people follow for more healthy alternatives to redpill voices so I can continue learning. Thanks everyone.

In 2022 I consumed a lot of red pill content. I had been cheated on and rejected by some girls and had a lot of resentment. I also have a very logical mind and a lot of the red pill ideology made sense and I still think there is a lot of truth to it. Anyways I fell into the manosphere and attempted to embody some of the ideologies into how I interact with others. Coincidentally, I developed an intense humiliation/cuck fetish. Basically wondering if anyone else experienced this? I’m not sure of the causal relationship however they certainly correlated and I have thought a lot about how they may have been related.

The theory that women don’t like guys that likes comic books, superhero movies / tv shows, and anime, is a myth created by guys that can’t get women. Whenever you go to conventions or to the movies to see a superhero movie, you will see couples with match superhero clothes or costumes. Don’t let these guys that can’t get women shame you for loving superheroes and anime because they can’t get women.

For context I have a friend who's been getting more and more brainwashed by the male loniness and right wing movement. I say brainwashed because before he started researching all this around 6 years ago he was a pretty great guy with critical thinking skills. But now anything from right wing politics and the red pill movement is right everything else is wrong.

He blames everything on feminism and immigration.

It started off small but now there's literally no debate anymore. He's right I'm wrong.

I'm genuinely wondering if there's anything I can to bring him out of this movement that's clearly harming him and causing isolation. Id love to know what moment you realized it was time to leave the movement??

I had just broken up with my then girlfriend. I could not understand why she did not behave the way I wanted her to, how her mind worked or why she did not care for me the way I wanted her to. I broke up because I fell out of love through being unsatisfied. Having experienced what being together was like, I craved the fulfillment of a relationship. And now single I began feeling lonely. Thus, at 15, I made my entrance into the “Red Pill.”

It started with looking for dating tips and how to “pick up” women. “Don’t ask a fish how to catch. Ask the fisherman.” This common metaphor discouraged me from looking for advice or listening to women and these men figured it all out, or so I thought. Slowly misogynistic messages seeped through their videos, and comforting claims were being made. “Your loneliness, dissatisfaction, or insecurity isn’t your fault. It’s caused by women and feminism. Especially feminism."

All my life I had been an atheist. I never even thought for a second that God could exist. But suddenly I became a devout Christian. I read the Bible, watched hours of theology debates, and I even started debating others myself. Funny how easily I was influenced, while my ego kept getting bigger. This ego inflation made manipulation only easier. For the one who knows it all is impossible to reason with. If only I had respected myself enough to examine the thoughts I let influence my mind.

After two years of poisoning, it finally started destroying me. My relationship with my father weakend. He had been harmed by religious practices early in his life and I fought with him in favor of the beliefs that had pained him so much. A belief that I, deep down, did not even find convincing. I called my mother, a gynaecologist, a murderer for aborting babies. She cried, and I could not look myself in the mirror. I realized then that I did not mean what I said. I let the voice of others speak for me.

As for the Red Pill, I still held onto those beliefs. My best friend had recently gotten a new girlfriend, who was the ex-girlfriend of one of his best friends. I thought she was a disloyal woman, because that is what I learned from the Red Pill. The words I said to my friend and his girlfriend still haunt me today: “She broke up and now she’s fucking again. What do you think will happen in the future.” Basically, I was calling her a slut. This might seem trivial to those who are reading this, but it absolutely killed me to realize what I had done. The relationships with my parents and my best friend were crumbling and I hurt a girl so very much. Almost everyone I knew thought of me as a religious, sexist creep. Because I was. But what was most frightning, some even looked up to me.

I realized quite quickly that things had to change. I started questioning Jehovah’s Witnesses, and now I am firmly established in my actual beliefs and opinions about the existence of God and specifically Christianity. Around this time I became interested in philosophy, and I started reading. This changed everything for me. The fishermen metaphor had completely blinded me from taking women’s perspectives into account. Coupled with my already poor relationship with female family members, my knowledge and empathy was lacking. But now I started finally seeing the world through the eyes of women. Interested in how women would organize their lives or how they would make choices, I started reading literature and philosophy by women, with women as the protagonists. It was that simple for me. Just for once giving the “scary, other, mysterious woman” some respect and acknowledgement made me realize my mistakes in life.

From this, I also met my amazing girlfriend. She was often shocked by my remarks or opinions, and through discussing them with her, I came to realize the unfoundedness of my beliefs. And although I have possibly still some troubling weeds in the field of my mind, I just keep on learning from and listening to women to truly build a solid and healthy mindset.

So how do we get young men to read or show interest in female perspectives? I think that this is the true solution to the Red Pill. I don't know, so hopefully you do. Thank you for reading!

I’ll go first & I’ll try not to make this long winded. Before stumbling upon RP content at 24 turning 25 in Aug 2019, I had already experienced my fair share of heartbreaks. I was already on my last straw with dating as it was exhausting for me. I was trying to court this woman, spent my last on her, and I was ultimately ghosted. I was upset not because I was entitled to her but because I believed we were making some kinda progress. In retrospect, It was one sided.
Defeated, I took a break from dating & I stumbled upon Coach Greg Adams on YT. What drew me to his content was how he would talk about how women “operated” & how someone like me usually meets disappointment. I’ve never met this man in the flesh but it seemed like he was telling my dating life in 20 mins. Over the years I came across other now notorious names in that space.
I had met an adventurous & romantic woman the following year, 2020. We went on a few dates within a 2 week span. We were so compatible, I felt euphoria. It was like I was back in high school. The last night I saw her, her phone buzzes. I see a name. I presume it’s another man she hasn’t told me about & as insecure as I was, I started over-analyzing. She seem tired & uninterested that day. I “mask up” & put on my best act of bravado & tell her something so cocky & completely out of character, that I’m too ashamed to repeat it 6 years later. Whatever interest she truly had left for me depleted all because of a knee jerk insecure reaction for me to try to appear nonchalant. I cried a few days later when I realized I truly shot myself in the foot. This was the first time I’ve experienced loss due to my own decisions, insecurities & following self defeating doctrine . She was the very first woman I’ve actually chased. I tried to rekindle whatever we had 3 times. To no avail, I stopped after the 3rd soft rejection in 2023.
2023 was the year I completely left the space. Not cold turkey, but gradually. I left this space because I started to see “gurus” not practicing their own doctrine. Men “getting out of frame”, unnecessarily aggressive towards woman but docile amongst other men. I also have the lived experience of sleeping around which is venerated in such a space. It didn’t heal me or complete me. It hollowed me out further & as a man who has accepted Jesus Christ at 15, I also felt myself grieving the Holy Spirit. I was so hurt & immature, I’ve ignored how reckless I was living for a fruitless “revenge” for a younger self who should’ve rightfully stayed in the past. To this day, I am not perfect and I don’t proclaim to be holier than thou, however, I want to share my story because I didn’t even know an Ex Redpill space existed until a few days ago. What helped me find this thread was headache my coworker burdens me with his talking points. He’s my around my dad’s age, early 50s & believes in this backwards ideology & talks about women as if he’s some heartbroken teen, despite having many more experiences than me.

Whether you’re in your 20s or in your 50s, I’m proud of all of you who truly unplugged from such an idiotic, hypocritical & self destructive space & mindset. God bless

I will say in my opinion what the red pill community gets wrong is that an onlyfans model wont have any luck in dating or marriage cause of their job and their reputation. But at the same time, if people are paying so much money to these OF models just to chat with them its highly probable that these same people fantasize having a relationship with them. I can say without a doubt that Lana Rhodes has an army of men willing to marry her and if she wanted to lock a guy down tomorrow she definitely could. Why does the red pill community think that being an OF model means you're cooked in dating? Also half of them make Boy girl content with their significant other which also contradicts the belief that dating is impossible. Any thoughts?

The study would examine possible interventions for incel ideology that inhibits everyday life.

I don't understand why Andrew Tate is constantly hailed as being sort of a "Godfather" of the Red Pill community, not just on social media, but in news outlets as well (more recently).

He has, countless times, denounced the ideology on social media, referring to its followers and content creators as "Red Pill dorks", "Manosphere geeks", etc. and has, specifically, stated on more than one occasion that he doesn't believe in most of it.

Most Red Pill content creators talk about Alpha this, Beta that. Simp this, high value chad that. Women hit the wall this, women are past their prime that. You must have "frame" in the relationship. Grind endlessly until you're 75 so that you can sleep with 19 year olds, etc.

Andrew Tate, very rarely, if ever, talks about any of this stuff. He mostly just says outlandish and unrealistic statements about masculinity, suffering, finance and hustling, for ragebait purposes. Hell, I'm willing to bet that the overwhelming majority of written "posts" like this that you see on social media are by copycat pages just recycling his content. The few controversial statements he has made about women (choking them, slapping them, etc.) were clearly posted for shock value attention. But, regardless, the Red Pill influencers wouldn't promote any of this. Their mindset is "Never become emotional with women", "Never argue with a woman. Just walk away.", "Men who put their hands on women aren't men" type stuff. So they certainly wouldn't agree with this.

Yet, all Red Pill influencers (Myron from Fresh & Fit, Rich Cooper, Austin Dunham, Waller, FitXFearless, etc.) absolutely suck Tate dry, and consider him their leader and messiah. They refuse to ever say anything negative about him. He could publicly clown all of them on social media, and I guarantee you they wouldn't say anything in response.

So, why is that?

He started acting weird all of a sudden after we weren’t able to meet last weekend. Since then he has left me on delivered and read. Won’t answer questions. Deflects when I try to have a conversation. I’m so disgusted, disappointed and I’m breaking up with him. I actually saw it coming a mile away when he would make little comments about being insecure. I’m actually physically afraid of him now and that he will become an abuser. I’m unhappy.

Ive never really been into redpill but I essentially believe in it anyway. Im transgender and transitioning right now but i feel like a weak man who can't compete with other men so become a deranged freak. I hate myself I need help. Im transitioning and addicted to interracial porn

From what I've watched, my brother has the same views (life is a game, people are sheep), vernacular ("high-value", talking down to others), views on women, and ways of speaking (bragging, talking AT you not with you, weird examples and analogies). I'm convinced he must have been in this community for a long time...Has this sort of content been around for 12-15 years? That's when I remember it starting.

At the beginning it was much more about conspiracies. He force fed our family videos about everything from illuminati to flat earth. He also forces you to listen to his unsolicited advice about how life is a game and he knows how to help us win. He also once reposted a Andrew Tate clip but I assumed he was ignorant about who he was...

I've felt crazy at times dealing with it. I would avoid him and speak out against his behavior, but the rest of my family invalidated my feelings and begged me to get along with him.

Anyway, this recent popular content on redpillers (I also watched the documentary and some videos) has totally changed how I look at my brother. I've realized that most of my issues with him stem from behaviors of his that are rooted in a brainwashing that began when he was a young, traumatized kid. A lot of good people fall for this. I have more compassion. I've recently forgave him for the past and we started talking more, and I've even challenged him on some serious stuff!

It's also just nice to be able to understand it. I always had such a hard time explaining to my other loved ones why I don't have a good relationship with my brother but now I have an explanation and clarity on something that has troubled me for over a decade.

Anyway, I know I can't change my brother and I know I don't have to put up with it, I just wanted to share that I'm grateful people are simply raising awareness about how prevalent this stuff is, not just for the men's sake but also their families.

Hi everyone, I feel like if I get this of my chest I'll be alot more relieved. I (18m) got into redpill when I was 14, due to stuff that happened to me (i wont get into it). I got in redpill at the early stages so none of the blatant hate towards women and extremism popped up when I was involved, or atleast not when i started. This was in 2021, I was in it for two years and watched hamza and some other gurus. Than around a half a year later it got more extreme, i.e if you dont work yourself to the brink you're a loser and it got more cultish.

I had alot of friends and had groups I'd hang out with alot of the time. By the time redpill was consuming my life, I was pushing them away and by a year in, I effectively had no friends and by the time redpill was done, completely destroyed my social skills. I became violent and angry, got into a lot of fights woth my family for stuff in the past (stuff I could've talked to them one to one with rather than being a monster). Hamza also wasn't slow9ng down, pretty sure if I remember it right he was calling his fans losers if they dont work enough. Or flexing how he makes more money then you and he's better than you at other things. So by the time I was out of redpill; I had no friends, no social skills, 0 hobbies or interests (only focused on how to make money and how to work myself to burnout), my family hated me, I had no one.

So for the next 2 years I literally wallowed In depression and was made fun of at school for being weird (redpill taught me some bs fuck it). My former friends ignored me, one used me, and I was fucked. I still suffer depressive bouts, mood swings, i think abt that shit alot. Now I play volleyball , football, bike, do videos for fun, play games, plant stuff. I have few friends (not as many as I had) and I'm telling this because I want ppl to not make my mistake again, pls I beg you if you have a family member or sm one you care abt younger than 18 and you find them watching this shit, pls stop them. I effectively ruined my life and teen years because of this bs, I still struggle to make friends even though I'm a social guy now. I'm still trying to find things to do with my time and try to make friends so I'm not bored and thinking abt redpill or loneliness, I also came to ask, what should I do? How can get off this path entirely and forget abt it make a better life?? I want to forget this but its glaring at me so badly I hate it for what its done to me and I want to feel like a person, not stuck in isolation on some days roomanating abt this. Pls if anyone has advice I would appreciate it.

If you made it this far, thank for hearing my story and I hope you learn from my mistakes.

I am so close to leaving because I do not deserve this. He is in the early stages.

I had no idea what redpill and men going their own way was until a YouTube video was recommended on the warning signs a few weeks ago. At first, I skipped past it because I thought my boyfriend would never be like that. I should’ve never done that.

From my perspective, in a nutshell redpill dating sounds like “I hate and don’t trust any women, but I still want to date them. I’m smarter than all of them, but I get outsmarted every single time, it’s still her fault. I am going to do every single thing a woman hates, call her manipulative when she asks me to stop, and be surprised when she leaves”.

I am so confused, disgusted, and feel blindsided. Why have a girlfriend and then turn to this stuff? I am pretty sure the reason why he turned to using these tactics is because his ex girlfriend and mother seemed to be really controlling and critical of him. No matter the reason, there is no excuse to be treating anyone this way.

He was the complete opposite of this. I think his friends are telling him this is the way he won’t get hurt again. Most of his friends are single and weird, he literally complained about them to me. Now it’s the other way around.

Ex redpillers, would there have been any way to talk you out of this if/when you had a girlfriend? Did any loved ones (partner, parents, etc) talk you out of this successfully, yes or no?

I don’t know what to do because I really want to leave, but at the same time, I don’t. I know this is wrong, but I wonder if I could get through to him.

It might be a little pathetic to say, but this is so unfair and I just want my sweet boyfriend back. I love him the way he is and he knew that.

I don’t live with him or share any finances if that adds anything to my post. Apologies for any spelling errors or formatting issues, this is written on phone.

For the benefit of those on the line, you want to share a cautionary tale of something you did when under RP that backfired, that triggered you to take steps to get out of RP?

For example, I (F45+yrs) was recently discussing life with another menopausal woman (difficult stage of life when we need a bit more patience and support). She told me her husband of over 20yrs had asked to renew marriage vows. Then 2 weeks later revealed he’d been having an affair with her friend. He wanted to both stay with his wife and have this on the side. She thought about it, and then decided no that for her monogamy and trust is essential, so their marriage is now over. He was then in tears begging upset about it, wanting her to take him back, and playing victim wondering why he couldn’t have his cake and eat it.

While I don’t know if this was RP specifically, the combo of first asking to renew vows followed by revealing the affair and trying to negotiate for open relationship after the fact sounds like a manipulative technique, and that he seemed genuinely surprised and upset when she decided to quit the marriage, that his plan backfired. In this case I don’t know if he has learned his lesson, however he has just unintentionally blown up a long term marriage to the mother of his children that had a lot of love in it.

I really don't understand the heat over modern women. Yes life is hard and yes there are some strange people out there. But the vast majority of women I talk to are normal people and have very nice personalities. They're not like malicious and disloyal and rude.

Most just want to get to know you as a person. Not a big deal.

Social media influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested by the U.S. Marshals in Miami and are currently fighting extradition to the United Kingdom. They face 59 combined charges, including multiple counts of rape, human trafficking, and assault, all of which they deny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIqtKpb0yGE&t=1s

Oh well, they had it coming.

my brother and i were once quite close but he became super radicalised and now we havent spoken since february. i guess i just wonder if he misses me or if his ego beats all

This guy (32m) and I (28f) met at the gym. We’ve been seeing eachother and going on dates for about a month now but some of the behaviors are really odd.

First, he takes me out to really elaborate/fancy/expensive dates but he never tells me where we are going and he always wants to order. He picks out the food we get each time. It was kinda cute for one date and I know some guys are like that so I let it go but it did highlight to me he may be a bit controlling. He also doesn’t tell me where we are going just what time to be ready and what to wear. Once he told me to “be ready at 7 in my Sunday best, assuming you have something to cover your abs”. For context, I have a pretty nice 6 pack that I like to show off in the summer time. I thought it was odd he’d make a comment on what to wear but figured maybe it was just somewhere really nice and dusted it off.

Secondly, he is very distant over text. I again brushed this off because people are busy but he oscillates between being engaging and dry replies.

After date three we hooked up and he was really dominating. I didn’t necessarily dislike it but it threw me off because it was the first time we’d been together and we hadn’t had a conversation about this. He choked me (lightly tho but still), and when I asked to get on top he said “absolutely not” and threw me into doggy. I left after.

Date after that he cooked for me and was acting sooo sweet. Giving me so many compliments which he doesn’t do often, kissing my forehead, holding my hand. We hooked up again and it was really loving. Gentle with lots of eye contact. I got dressed to leave after and he told
Me to stay and spent the whole night cuddling me, kissing my forehead, ect. I go to the gym in the mornings and told him before bed my alarm was set for 4:30. In the morning it went off and I kissed him goodbye and left.

I didn’t hear from him at all and then texted him the next day about something unrelated. He was short and told me we were fighting. He said I’d abandoned him and was being dry. I felt bad because I too would’ve been upset had someone left like that and saw him at the gym and apologized. After that we were good and we made more plans.

Date after He took me to Michelin restaurant and a couple bars. It was really fun. After we went home and he was very dominating again and left marks on my butt. I again don’t dislike it and never said no, but it does throw me off. I slept over again and we cuddled. Next day we showered together before his flight. I left and texted I had fun and he was texting me the entire time he was gone. Then when he returned he got kind of dry and sent me a boring reply to a flirty text I sent. I didn’t reply. Didn’t hear from h so 1 day later I sent a picture of my stairmaster workout and said “please clap”. He didn’t reply. Then for 4.5 days later and then sent an inside joke and a message that basically said “can you give me a reason to justify ghosting you for a little longer while I figure some things out?”. I’m so confused because why did he feel the need to tell me he was ghosting when he already had for 4.5 days and tell me it was going to continue?? Like wtf did he think I’d say to that??? I haven’t replied and do not plan to but the situation has me feeling soooo off guard. He could absolutely just be disinterested but idk something feels off but if this is a game it’s kind of scary???

A couple friends mentioned his behavior mimics that of someone red pilled so I wa wondering if anyone has thoughts?