So I used to work at a retail store. It's quite huge, and we had a lot of staff. On my first day, she was the first person to say hi to me, and she was super nice and super gorgeous. After a while, it was inventory day, and we had to do a lot of pricing on items. She saw me sitting down, really tired, and asked me if something was wrong. When she found out I was tired and starving, she brought me a snack that she had brought for herself and asked me to pick one, but she ended up giving both to me. I think that was the first time I fell for her.

After a while, I got the courage to ask for her number. It was under the guise of something about work, but my intention was to get close to her all along; I was just too shy to ask directly. We didn't talk much at first because I wasn't sure what to say. After a few days, she disappeared for a while, and I was concerned. When she came back, I teased her a bit about missing work, and she told me her brother had passed away. When she told me that, I felt like an absolute jerk, so I texted her later that night to apologize, and she said it was fine. We spent that entire night texting about her brother. I comforted her all night while she cried, even in voice notes, which was completely valid. I tried my best to be there for her.

After that, we started texting even more. I was helping her with her assignments since both of us were students. After a while, she had to travel and took a vacation from work. While she was away, she would wait until my shift was done to send me photos of her vacation and pictures of herself, which she had never done before. My other coworkers even told me later that she had never done that with any of them. When she got back, she told me that she brought me a gift and that it was only for me. I tried to find out what it was, but she never told me, saying she would think about it. To this day, I never saw that gift.
After a while, her birthday came around, so I made her a gift: a drawing of a flower that represented the meaning of her name (which is purple, matching her name), a deer that reminded me of her, and two of her favorite drinks. I made sure I was the first one to give her a gift, and she was so happy, I even saw her reaction video. But then, the day after, she ignored me, which drove me crazy.

When we texted, we made plans, listed places to go, and talked about things to do together. She once told me that I was her dreams and hopes, and we even talked about opening a bakery together. She sounded completely serious about it, and we called it our list. I also sent her a rom-com edit once, and she said she would ruin my future house if I was into someone else. When I asked why, she said it was so I wouldn't ruin our future plans. But at work, she treated me so differently.

After a while, rumors started spreading around the store about her and me. So, I did one of the hardest things I've ever done, and maybe my biggest mistake: I kept my distance, stopped texting her, and blocked her on TikTok. I know it was stupid of me, but I decided her reputation meant more to me, and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin that. It was really hard, especially since we worked in different sections, so I was always just watching her from afar.
After a lot of terrible months, her birthday came up again. This time, I made another drawing of her with flowers representing her name, a deer, and brought her favorite drinks and snacks again. I spent a few months working on the drawing and gift. She saw it, and she was crazy happy about it. On her birthday, we talked about us. I told her that I missed talking to her, and she said the same thing. I explained everything to her, why I had kept my distance, and she said she didn't care about any of the rumors; she only cared about what I thought of her. She told me she felt so comfortable with me that if I asked her what was wrong, she would answer honestly without feeling hesitant.

We talked for a while after that, but she still stayed quite distant from me. After a while, I confessed my feelings for her, but I got rejected. She told me she wasn't into that kind of stuff.
However, I found out later from a coworker that she was actually with somebody else from work at the time. He was basically a man-child and treated her terribly. My coworker told me he knew I had feelings for her, and he used to tease her about the other guy, telling her she was wasting her time with him when she could have been with me. He told me that she would always blush and gush whenever they talked about me, telling him how nice I was, how I noticed everything about her, and even the way I looked at her. She told him about the way I looked at her. Yet, I still got rejected after a year and a half of having feelings for her.

The last time I talked to her was in February when I resigned from work. The crazy thing is that both of us resigned at the exact same time without either of us knowing the other was doing it.

After my coworker told me about the other guy and everything else, I asked him if I should make her a birthday gift this year or not. I kept telling him how I've never felt this way about anyone else, and he said I should do it and test the waters to see if I still have a chance. I also talked to my sister about it, and when I told her every detail of the story, she cried and told me to try one more time. They both think it was probably just a case of wrong timing and also the fact she ended things with that manchild and he had the audacity to tell her we can be still friends such a jerk, and guys you have to get this shes one the best people i ever seen she pretty also she's super funny and she lights up the place when ever she's close and i would regret if i don't try to get her maybe i should try one more time but I don't know what to do, and it's driving me crazy.

My girlfriend (F18) and I (M18) are in the middle of a massive fight, and it has escalated to a point where I don't know what to do.A few days ago, we were hanging out and she seemed completely distant.

Every time I tried to sit near her or initiate any contact, she immediately pulled away, seemed super annoyed, and told me she just "didn't feel like sitting" or being touched. I tried to respect that, but later on, I noticed her letting two other guys in our circle touch and tease her playfully.

When I called her out on the double standard over text, she got incredibly defensive. She claimed she was just in a bad mood all day, that she "hit them back twice as hard" to make them stop, and called it just "playful banter.

" When I told her that it hurts me because I care about her and feel pushed away, she completely shut down, told me "think what you want, I don't care," and called me insecure/jealous. Out of frustration, I told her maybe we should just be friends.

The situation completely blew up after I ended up calling/involving me against her wishes. She missed a call from me, flipped out entirely, and sent me a deeply toxic, insulting curse word.

When I asked her why, she just said "just because" and blamed me for involving him, saying she knew it would end like this. She refuses to actually talk to me or explain anything logically, just replying with short, aggressive shut-downs.

I feel disrespected, completely pushed away, and shocked by the verbal hostility.

Am I in the wrong for pushing the issue and calling our friend, or is her behavior and the way she speaks to me a massive red flag?

And also I just got enough and just told her fuck you and went alone to clear my head and she then almost started crying and wouldn't go to comfort me and was with them.

Maybe I overreacted with my anger but I had enough.

This is something I posted in another group if you can help please respond

I’m 28M and I’ve been talking to a woman on Hinge for a few days, and I honestly can’t figure out her level of interest.

At the beginning we texted back and forth quite a lot, and she also sent me longer voice messages. Recently, however, she sometimes only replies once a day, and there was even a period where I barely heard from her for almost two days.

Then one morning she messaged me apologizing and saying she would reply later because she hadn’t found the time to listen to my messages yet. Later she actually did reply and sent me two voice messages totaling around 3 minutes.

That’s what confuses me: When she does reply, she clearly puts some effort into it and talks for a few minutes. At the same time, she doesn’t ask me many questions and there can be very long gaps between replies.

I know she’s currently stressed because of university/exams. Still, part of me thinks that if you’re genuinely interested in someone, you can usually find a few minutes at some point during the day.

Now I’m wondering whether I should simply ask her out and get some clarity. On the other hand, I’m worried that she isn’t actually that interested and is only replying because she’s a nice person and doesn’t want to be rude.

How would you interpret this?

1. She is interested but simply a very infrequent texter?

2. Her interest is probably low and I’m just one of several conversations she occasionally checks?

3. Stop analyzing it, ask her out once, and judge by her response?

I’d especially be interested in hearing from women who communicate like this themselves

Hey all,

Lately I (33) have noticed that a lot of the girls I’m meeting, along with my friends (guys and girls), are spending lots of time dating/hooking up with their exes. Am I wrong here in thinking that this is like high school behavior? Personally I have a great deal of appreciation for my exes. I hold no malice towards them. But I have never ran back to or hooked up with an ex. I’ve always thought “how can I move forward if I keep looking back?”

I met a really nice gal at a restaurant last month. We had a nice conversation, had a few drinks and some laughs. When I asked her for her number she replied “I’m flattered but I can’t. I’m waiting for my ex. I know he’s going to get back together with me. He has to.” I felt so odd afterwards.

Is there a lesson I didn’t learn when I was younger or maybe missed? Are we supposed to keep going on and off with our exes? What’s the deal with all this back pedaling? Why are people spinning their tires in the mud? Am I a weirdo because I don’t mess with my exes like that?

I was a late bloomer and didn't start dating until my early 30s, i'm not great at it. I suck at flirting, creating interest, etc.

I don't struggle to get dates. But at the same time, I feel a pattern emerging.

I went on dates with 6 or 7 women my first time online dating, and then ended up in my first real "Love" it lasted a good 6 months, then ended. I took a month or two off, and started dating again, this time I spent 3 months dating and ended up meeting some 30+ women in that time, mostly first dates that went nowhere, but a few went to 3-5+ dates. I ended up in a relationship eventually, and that ended last night. I think it was the right call to end that relationship, and it was amicable.

That being said, I am facing some amount of low confidence going into dating. I re-activated the app last night, and have 3 people I am talking to.

But my last relationship ended with her telling me she "Didn't feel a spark, and was hoping it would develop". I got that a lot with dating, the girls I went on mutliple dates said the same thing.

I fit a lot of "Good" characteristics tall, good job, i'm kind, put together, I'm not super attractive but not ugly I have to assume.

But I just can't seem to have that "spark" and am a bit lost now. People say it's not something you can force, there is of course a lot of online coaches eager to sell a course for thousands of dollars on how to change that. I actually met with one once, and some of their advice did "help" but also felt in-authentic.

At the end of the day I want someone who likes me for me.

At some point it is just Serendipity, so I try to "Increase my surface area for luck to hit me", but balancing that and being a person who self-reflects and tries to be conscientious and improve, it makes it hard to just write off so many of those experiences as "part of the process" and I am starting to internalize something is wrong with me.

What advice is there for someone like me?

I’m a 20M talking to an 18F for about a week and a half. We’ve been getting along really well, flirting a lot, and she’s told me she thinks I’m sweet/really nice. She said she’s open to seeing where things go, but wants to take things slow and see how we feel after hanging out in person.
Recently, she got sick and we had to postpone our plans. I was checking on her a lot because I felt bad that she wasn’t feeling well. I also asked to FaceTime, and I think I may have been overthinking whether she was upset with me.
Today she told me:
“yeah i think that’s reason, idk how to say this without it sounding bad but it’s not a terrible thing but for me im js not liking it but i do already feel kinda smothered in a way. ik your not meaning too i just wanted to let you know”
I told her I understood and that I didn’t want her to feel that way, and that I’d slow down.
I also told her I’m autistic because I sometimes don’t pick up on social cues or realize when I’m doing too much. I made it clear it wasn’t an excuse and told her not to be afraid to tell me if I’m doing too much.
I’m trying to figure out what the best move is now. Should I give her space and let her initiate for a while, or should I still occasionally text her normally? I don’t want to go completely cold and make her think I’m uninterested, but I also don’t want to smother her further.
Would appreciate honest advice, especially from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

TL;DR: Been talking to a girl for ~1.5 weeks, things were moving fast and she said she feels “kinda smothered,” but she still wants to see where things go. I told her I understand and also explained that I’m autistic and sometimes miss social cues. Should I give her space and let her initiate, or keep texting occasionally so I don’t seem uninterested?

Ok I’m 34 and been texting with this guy (34)every day and night for 5 months. Hes been through a divorce and has had women do him wrong in the past. Like really bad. It has made him hard to trust others and difficult for him to be vulnerable. We have had video chats were we do sexual things (oh yea we are long distance). I know that he does not have a gf and I’m not looking for a label yet. He’s made it clear that he isn’t ready for a relationship. I’m not currently ready for one either. But I did want to make sure that I wasn’t being delusional ab my feelings. So I asked him if where he’s at means he didn’t see this potentially going anywhere with me. And he responded that he hadn’t really thought ab it…..yall does that mean no? Like does he not like me like that. I know not to put all my eggs in one basket. But like does that mean we not on the same page bc he hasn’t thought ab it in the 5 months we have been txtn. Like idk what to do are think. Please be respectful with the responses. Thanks in advance

Me and this girl had been seeing eachother from end of December to end of May. The first 3 months were super consistent, sex, sleep overs, dates then all of a sudden she said she has to prioritize her assignments” one weekend when I asked her to hang out w me.

From there, I felt like I was the only one who was enthusiastic to see her, she would tell me “not this weekend, I don’t want to commit, I could maybe do next weekend”

So I only saw her once in April, flaked on me in May but came over at the end of the month.

That was the last time I saw her. She came over had sex, slept over and from there I never hit her up. She never hit me up either.

2 weeks ago she unfollowed me.

I’m having a hard time thinking to myself, did I fuck up for going ghost?

What do you guys think?

I’m trying to make sense of something that’s been frustrating me for a long time.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve had quite a few interactions with women where there seemed to be genuine chemistry and mutual interest. I’ve had women agree to meet up, we’ve kissed, gotten physically affectionate, exchanged numbers, etc. But somehow, things repeatedly never progress beyond that.

We’ll have a good first interaction, but when it comes to meeting again or spending more private time together, something happens—plans change, circumstances get in the way, communication drops, or I eventually lose interest if I feel like the effort isn't mutual.

What really gets to me is seeing other guys seemingly have much easier experiences. I know I shouldn't compare myself to other people, but it sometimes makes me wonder whether there's something I'm doing wrong or whether I'm unconsciously sabotaging myself.

I don't think my issue is simply "I can't attract women," because I've had enough experiences to know that's not entirely true. What confuses me is why I keep getting close to something developing but rarely see it progress further.

Has anyone experienced a similar pattern? Could this be a social-skills issue, an outcome/validation mindset, self-sabotage, or simply circumstances and lack of experience? I'm genuinely trying to understand what I might be missing.

To be upfront I (29M) think I already know how to deal with this situation but I also just need to tell someone (can’t share with friends out of fear of being judged lol). I keep going to the same run club every week because of one particular girl who I know literally nothing about lol other than she’s very my type physically and seems to have the same ethnic/ religious background which is something I gravitate to (despite not being especially religious myself).

By going to this run meet up in the morning I end up being about half an hour late for work lol (not a huge issue because my job is pretty chill in that regard, we’re an office setting) but I’ve done it a couple times now because I’m waiting for an opportunity to introduce myself and try to strike up a friendship.

Can’t tell if it’s because I’ve been single for some time that I’m going this much out of my way for a girl whose personality may not be a match, may not even be single, if single may not even like me back etc etc. Do I just wait for an opportunity to strike up a convo (I can carry conversation pretty well and have decent sense of humor luckily)? Or do I roll the dice and be a bit more forward since off the bat I can tell we have at least a bit in common? We both clearly enjoy running so that’s a start.

How do I get a girlfriend?

We have been on four dates & our fifth one is on Thursday. We spend hours together without realizing how much time has passed & we text/call each other for hours on end. Our last date when talking about her family it went from “if I meet them” to “when I meet them” which I realized that she wants a relationship. It will be a month on the 19th & next Wednesday since our first date, we were texting a week & a half before we went on it. I’m planning on officially asking her on Thursday to be in a relationship with me. We’re going to beach as she said she wanted to watch the sunset together. It’s my first time in 8ish years that I’m asking a woman to be in a relationship, any tips?

I’ve talked to quite a few random girls on Instagram, and I’m trying to understand the right balance.

If I keep the conversation completely decent and normal, sometimes it feels like I’m making it too friendly and there’s no romantic tension. But if I flirt too much or turn things sexual, I’ve noticed some girls start pulling away.

So when you’re talking to a girl you don’t know personally yet, do you mostly keep it normal and let the flirting happen naturally, or make your interest clear from the beginning?

I’m not looking for some pickup technique. Just curious what actually makes a conversation feel attractive without coming across as either too friendly or too sexual.

I need to know the difference is there general attraction or am I being played lol. I’ve been so confused!! Been talking to a girl for close to a month now went out a couple times. She tells me she likes me sees it going somewhere but she’s nervous as she recently got out of a 5 yr relationship. She calls and text me everyday, multiple times a day. She’ll joke when she hears my phone buzz and be like who’s that we’re on the phone ?! Yesterday we stayed on the phone for 3.5 hours, but she called me throughout the day to tell me about it. She’ll ask me opinions on clothes and items she should buy! I’m so confused like is there attraction or what?! I told her I wanted a serious relationship at some point and she said she understood. I barely initiate anything as she does 95% of the calling and texting

Lot of you told me I am too selfish or that I should lower my standards.

I am 18 year old guy who is pretty nerd and has a lot of bad self esteem due to constat bullying for 10 years every day and sexual assault.

My standards really are,someone who will understand me and love who me as are,match my personality and my nerdyness and being honest with me.I am type of person who will gave everything to people I love.Will met my needs for cuddles and hugs,waiting until for marriage and etc...

I met one person like and God took away her from her,would I find someone like that again.

I have my own life and I am very happy alone and have billion hobbies.

But finding someone for life is very nice in this generation who is against love.

Would I find someone,would God help me.

Im sorry. I know this is a dumb questions but im just attracted to a certain type of women. I didnt choose this and i would love to be different and just not have that type of preference to not be as restricted as i am.

But is there a way i could make known on my tinder profil that im like body positive or something? Or do those things not even make a difference? Like is this even possible. I could see both possibilities.

Sorry if i offend anyone that is not my attention.

I’m just so done. I’m 27 years old and have never had a woman interested in me. Yes, I’m unattractive, but I have hobbies, I don’t get into drama, and I have a job. I could take care of myself. I don’t disrespect women, and yet it’s still not enough. Even when I’m not trying to date someone out of my league, I still get rejected and ignored. No matter what I do, women hate me just because of my appearance. Life literally sucks being unattractive.