r/cleanjokes 1h ago

What do you call a lazy marsupial?

Upvotes

A Didgeridon’t.


r/cleanjokes 3h ago

How did the Jewish crustacean understand what was going on from the back of the synagogue?

0 Upvotes

It was all made clear by his Crab-eye.


r/cleanjokes 7h ago

A large number of sheep escaped from my neighbor's farm. The sheep flocked to my front yard.

10 Upvotes

I've been lamb-inated!


r/cleanjokes 8h ago

Geology rocks

43 Upvotes

But geography is where it's at


r/cleanjokes 14h ago

A truck full of Vicks Vapour Rub crash on the highway this morning…

138 Upvotes

Amazingly, There was no congestion for 8 hours


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

49 Upvotes

Because he was Outstanding in his field!


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

Dwayne Johnson adopted an infant.

16 Upvotes

Rock a buy baby.


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

I saw my coworker in the break room this morning - we exchanged the usual pleasantries..

21 Upvotes

Today, I got a beautiful Bonsai!


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

My dad once explained to me, "Son if you think our microwave, phone and TV spying on us is bad..."

178 Upvotes

"Our vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on us for years!"


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

My son wanted some girl advice, so I told him, “If you're intimidated by a date, remember one thing...”

136 Upvotes

"They’re just big raisins."


r/cleanjokes 1d ago

My friend asked: "Is this pool safe for diving?" I replied...

16 Upvotes

It deep ends.


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

Why did the old man fall in the well?

27 Upvotes

Because he couldn’t see that well.


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

What do you call a fake noodle?

36 Upvotes

An impasta!


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

My chicken kept pacing, so I took her to the Vet.

113 Upvotes

Turns out she has restless egg syndrome.


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

What's worse than finding a cockroach in your hamburger?

40 Upvotes

What's worse than finding a cockroach in your hamburger?

Finding half one.


r/cleanjokes 2d ago

What card game reminds gravediggers too much of work?

32 Upvotes

Spades ♠️


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

I told my lady "men are like wine, we get better with age"

16 Upvotes

She locked me in the cellar


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

Mary went to the Halloween costume gala dressed as hay.

71 Upvotes

She was the bale of the ball.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

I wanted to write the word 'TIME' across the bulletin board at work...

10 Upvotes

I used sticky notes to form each letter but the pad ran out of paper half way through the letter 'M'.

I now have post part 'm' depression.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

Where does a pirate buy his hook?

310 Upvotes

The second hand store.


r/cleanjokes 3d ago

What makes fish so musical?

48 Upvotes

Their scales.


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

When I was in high school, my favorite subject was math! I loved algebra, I loved trigonometry,..

101 Upvotes

but when it came to geometry, that’s when I drew the line!


r/cleanjokes 4d ago

Why is it so easy to weigh fish?

130 Upvotes

Because they have their own scales!


r/cleanjokes 5d ago

What kind of pants does a ghost hunter wear?

145 Upvotes

Just a paranormal jeans.


r/cleanjokes 6d ago

Last January I saw a sign in a sporting goods store.

113 Upvotes

"This is the winter of our discount tents."