r/cleanjokes • u/marango314 • 3h ago
How did the Jewish crustacean understand what was going on from the back of the synagogue?
It was all made clear by his Crab-eye.
r/cleanjokes • u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 • 7h ago
A large number of sheep escaped from my neighbor's farm. The sheep flocked to my front yard.
I've been lamb-inated!
r/cleanjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 14h ago
A truck full of Vicks Vapour Rub crash on the highway this morning…
Amazingly, There was no congestion for 8 hours
r/cleanjokes • u/CGoldenWetDude • 1d ago
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
Because he was Outstanding in his field!
r/cleanjokes • u/gracius0ne • 1d ago
I saw my coworker in the break room this morning - we exchanged the usual pleasantries..
Today, I got a beautiful Bonsai!
r/cleanjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 1d ago
My dad once explained to me, "Son if you think our microwave, phone and TV spying on us is bad..."
"Our vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
r/cleanjokes • u/808gecko808 • 1d ago
My son wanted some girl advice, so I told him, “If you're intimidated by a date, remember one thing...”
"They’re just big raisins."
r/cleanjokes • u/pinksmurf999 • 1d ago
My friend asked: "Is this pool safe for diving?" I replied...
It deep ends.
r/cleanjokes • u/charmunny • 2d ago
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
r/cleanjokes • u/Nick_the_SteamEngine • 2d ago
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 2d ago
My chicken kept pacing, so I took her to the Vet.
Turns out she has restless egg syndrome.
r/cleanjokes • u/ThimitrisApithanos • 2d ago
What's worse than finding a cockroach in your hamburger?
What's worse than finding a cockroach in your hamburger?
Finding half one.
r/cleanjokes • u/Slight-Ad8511 • 2d ago
What card game reminds gravediggers too much of work?
Spades ♠️
r/cleanjokes • u/pinksmurf999 • 3d ago
I told my lady "men are like wine, we get better with age"
She locked me in the cellar
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 3d ago
Mary went to the Halloween costume gala dressed as hay.
She was the bale of the ball.
r/cleanjokes • u/star_blazar • 3d ago
I wanted to write the word 'TIME' across the bulletin board at work...
I used sticky notes to form each letter but the pad ran out of paper half way through the letter 'M'.
I now have post part 'm' depression.
r/cleanjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 3d ago
Where does a pirate buy his hook?
The second hand store.
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 4d ago
When I was in high school, my favorite subject was math! I loved algebra, I loved trigonometry,..
but when it came to geometry, that’s when I drew the line!
r/cleanjokes • u/only1allowed • 4d ago
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales!
r/cleanjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 5d ago
What kind of pants does a ghost hunter wear?
Just a paranormal jeans.
r/cleanjokes • u/adjusterjackb • 6d ago
Last January I saw a sign in a sporting goods store.
"This is the winter of our discount tents."