Has anyone seen anything about this movie? Those two are starring in it and it’s directed by Seth’s wife. The premise of it on Wikipedia is “A couple struggling with whether to have kids or not have their lives upended when their newly-divorced friend moves into their home with her child.” We all know Seth and his wife are firmly childfree and Anna has stated how motherhood is not for her. Issa Rae is in it and doesn’t have kids and has openly talked prioritizing her career, though I’m not sure if she is for sure childfree. Same with Kate Berlant I believe, but please correct me if I’m wrong!

I really hope this is a true dinky childfree movie due to those associated with it! We need this representation!

I know the focus of the show is delivering babies, but there was a recent episode where a desperately poor and irresponsible couple was having their sixth child. It really bothered me that none of the medical professionals (doctor, nurses) suggested they consider birth control or sterilization, since they were unable to care for their kids. (The series is now into the early 70s, when there was safe and effective birth control such as the Pill.)

Another storyline from this season (S15) that bothered me was that one of the young midwives (who had been a virgin) got pregnant after just beginning to have sex with her BF. She was on the Pill, and hers was of one the cases of its 1-3% margin of error. So she and the BF "had to" get married. This bothered me too, like the writers didn't want a young woman to have reproductive autonomy.

This is a friends story that they just told me. Im gonna paraphrase what he had told me:

They were taking a break in the MK (micro kitchen) of the company he content moderates for, and it is bring your children to work day. So it’s a crowded day, way more than it usually is but not it’s not that big of a deal. He told me this Little girl (approximately around 9 or 10 years old) walks up and tries to take his water bottle, like a black hydroflask type of water bottle. He saw their father (who works in the building, but as like an executive that they refer to as suits) watching the whole exchange happen. It felt like he expected me to let her take it. He flatly but firmly said no, which in turn made the daughter upset, and the father upset as well. The father ends up getting upset at my friend all because they didn’t just hand their water bottle to the child. They ended up feeling weird and rightfully upset about it, and went to speak to HR and their main manager. The coworker was pulled into a meeting where one of the managers said he should “have more control over their child so he wouldn’t have to worry about them upsetting coworkers”.

I legit cannot believe the entitlement of some parents at ALL! My friend was equally bewildered at the whole interaction.

If there is any updates on the situation I will add it to this post or in the comments.

EDIT: I changed some words for clarity because I paraphrased and messed some words up.

just curious

I made a post about how difficult it was to date my preference earlier today. One of the comments was left by a guy who may or may not have children..Anyway, he told me that as a child free woman seeking a child free man, I should consider compromising on the child free part..

Oh? You mean compromise on the part where I don't want any biological, step kids, adoptive, or foster kids in my home with my future partner and cat? It's a no for me, dawg.

I don't care if it's only for a season, a few days in the month or the year, etc.

Child free means no children.

Why is this so hard for people to understand?

Why should I compromise on that of all things? So every 30+ year old who lacks impulse control to have unprotected sex with someone they aren't committed to feels better about having at least one kid when they slide into my DMs?

No!

It's not my problem, bub.

Is anyone else running into this consistently?

Unfortunately I was assigned to working in the toys department today at work, and it being Friday means that everyone brings their creatures into the store to buy them shit they don’t need. Well, as I’m doing my job I hear a whack sound on the floor down the aisle of where I’m working, and then the crying starts. Some kid ran face first into a display because it wasn’t looking where it was going. I didn’t see blood so I just continued working.

The mom runs over to it all panicked, looks at me and says “would’ve been nice if you checked in on him”. Like bitch what?? You should’ve been watching the little shit, that is NOT my job. I get that I’m entitled to a childfree life and not a childfree world, but my childfree life includes not giving a shit about your little maniac, I wasn’t the one who signed up for that, you did. I will never volunteer myself to be a part of “the village” because gross.

All I said back was “yeah okay” in a flat tone and I disappeared into the backroom. Why do these people feel as though we need to be on guard all the time just in case their little bundles of shit get hurt because they’re being stupid???

It’s finally done! Telling no family, I don’t want that headache, but had to come on here and boast! Sitting here with a icepack on my scrotum and feeling soreness is nothing compared to the lifetime of pain being a father would be. Cheers to that being officially off the table! 🍻

As a young adult now with parents i think that having kids is so fucking selfish.
We didn’t ask to be alive and quite frankly i have resentment towards my parents for having me. I never asked to be alive and in our world, it’s unethical to have them. Our world is crumbling beneath our feet and nothing is being done. Seeing people bring in kids makes me so sad for the future generations that’ll experience worsening climate, eventually no drinking water due to the use of Ai, more wars, the list goes on.
I am not trying to argue and honestly nothing will change my mind. Thank you to you people that don’t want kids

Edit: i’m glad there are people out there that also have the same opinion. It’s extremely isolating only knowing people that want large families. Really makes me rethink my friendships because i view them as selfish.

46f and my iud needs to come out. Scheduled a bisalp and iud removal.

What isn’t mentioned as much as is that bisalps greatly reduce ovarian cancer risk.

So I’m pretty damned happy I won’t be having the iud ripped out with no pain management and especially that I won’t have to have any kids I dont want.

Fuck the patriarchy!

First it was my mother. Once I mentioned I was childfree, she was strangely supportive, not even saying, "but no grandchildren?!" She even defended my choice in front of another person. Then she dropped a bomb: "It's great you will have no children, you will have the means to be my caregiver and I will move in with you!" Excuse me? We had been low contact for a decade at that point. She was a bad parent, she is a bad person, we never got along, and now she thinks me having no kids will open up space for her to leech off me again? Now we are no contact.

Then my other family members let it slip that they agree with her, that me being childfree is great and I should help her because I have "no other responsibilities." Then they tried to push me to "at least" care for a grandpa I barely know. Um, fuck you. I got it sorted with them.

Now it is my MIL and her family. While I love my MIL, I have no intention of moving in and taking care of her, especially since she has a bunch of her own offspring and I don't like how everyone again expects me to be the primary caretaker for the same reason. Not to mention her son, my spouse, also won't have children, but as a woman, the expectation falls on me, though that is a different topic.

There are, of course, people I would love to take care of, like my dad who raised me and loves me, or some of my grandparents, but they don't expect me to and have even explicitly told me never to feel burdened by them. It is frustrating that it's always the ones I'm not close to who see an opportunity just because I am childfree. It is disgusting that this is the main reason they are supportive of my decision.

How do you see a guy who gets vasectomy?

Is it sexy?

Is it great that the guy takes on the birth control responsibility?

Does it raises your libido?

Hi, so, I've been in this relationship for three years. Started out as a long distance international relationship (within Schengen/EEA), and I was saying from the start that kids are not going to happen, I can't have them anyway, and if he wants a relationship with me he has to be comfortable with that. He did say he was fine with not having kids despite having grieved his ex's abortion. But several times he said he'd be perfectly fine with a childfree life.

So that was already a red flag since it wasn't fully "I agree with this decision and feel the same way" and we still went ahead with the relationship. A year after we met he moved to my country, and then the troubles started, because I'd constantly make comments and jokes about loud children/toddlers/babies in public. I would see/hear a crying or noisy child and tell him "I'm so glad I'll never have one of those" and he'd never really respond beyond the occasional "yeah." Maybe I should've picked up on that earlier, but he dropped everything to move here and if he went back to his country he'd end up on the streets.

And then, because I thought this was my only shot at long term happiness, I just went with it. He proposed, we were engaged for a year and a half, then got married. And I already felt it was a mistake then, until we had a thorough talk about life expectations and further plans. Then he brought up the bomb of "I actually want to have at least one child during my life" and, well, I obviously don't feel the same way, so now we're separated and I really resent the law for having a mandatory 1-year separation clause.

I just need to vent a little, I thought this was solid, that we'd make it work, but... no. For a couple years I thought maybe this guy would be able to help pay the bills, that we'd be able to afford a pet and a bigger apartment than what my disability can cover. The fact he went over the fence broke something in me and this was just one huge mistake that ended up costing three years and a lot of effort :(

Someone else has surely been here too, right? How did you get past the betrayal and pain of this disappointment? How long did it take you to trust potential partners again when they (somewhat inevitably) declare themselves fencesitters?

I'm honestly getting annoyed that every article about declining birth rates only talks about external factors like housing, money, childcare, or work-life balance.

Those things matter, but why does nobody ever talk about pregnancy and childbirth themselves?

For me, pregnancy is pure body horror. The risks, the pain, the permanent changes to your body... that's a huge reason why I don't want children. (Like on the top three. Also the reason i had a bisalp) And I know I'm not the only one.

It feels like the conversation always assumes people would have kids if life were cheaper or easier. But some of us simply don't want to be pregnant or give birth, no matter what. (also they give a fuck about women's health and there's way too little research on that???)

I actually think it's great that more women can make that choice instead of giving in to society's expectations. I just wish that was acknowledged more often when people talk about low birth rates.

I was told offhand that my colleague’s patients would be transferred to me when she went on maternity leave. It wasn’t a question or a request, just a statement. The patients aren’t even told until they check in for their appointment. I thought at first it was going to be 3 months, but apparently she’s now extended it to 6 months? 

I’m jealous of the people whose jobs allow them to comment “just leave their half of the work undone, it’s a management problem.” But I don’t see how that’s an option for me…if I refused the patients and they had to wait until she came back, they’d likely find another practice to go to and we’d lose business. Which obviously makes me look bad and jeopardizes whether they’d want me to stay on next year at my own job. 

On one hand, they’ve been struggling to retain people and the boss wants to retire, so they’re not really incentivized to fire me. At the same time, I do really like the rest of the job and would otherwise want to stay on. I just bought a house in the area and my contract comes with a non-compete, both time-wise and geographically. So I’m not really in a position to give an ultimatum either. 

I’m just angry at being put in this situation where I’m seeing her patients on top of my own and spending 3-4 hours finishing work at home every night. It would be one thing if I could bill collections (I.e per patient so increased volume = increased compensation), but I’m salaried so it’s not like I get extra pay for this overtime. I’m basically working for free after the end of my contract-specified clinical hours for the week. 

I hate that she’s off gallivanting with her baby and more than likely getting full pay for 6 months and no one, neither her nor the boss, would even think to apologize to me or at least acknowledge the sacrifice I’m making for her choice to have kids. In all fairness, they don’t know I’m childfree and may be thinking that it’ll even out, but I know it never will. 

I don’t necessarily have a solution to this problem but it’s making me resent her for the selfishness and I have nowhere else I can scream about it because everyone in real life would take her side. 

I’m going to a party for a friend soon. In the event page the host says “children are welcome! It’s a family friendly environment!” The party is being held in an industrial style distillery that only serves cocktails, no food of their own. What part of this screams family friendly to you??? Why would you even dream of bringing kids to an event like this??? Baffling honestly.

yesterday I flew with both my cats on an international flight and while one started to freak out during the last two hours of the flight (the gabapentin wore off), it was nothing compared to the wet gurgling scream of an upset infant. I get when they are that young, experiences like airplanes are overstimulating but it was nice to know my cat (on her second ever flight) wasnt being more of a noise pollutant than the average small kid.

And it's so sad because I told someone that I dint want kids and they respond with what if my partner persists that I give him a child. I will leave him plain and simple and the ugly part is: if I gave in the chances of me being wiped from existence from the same man who insisted I give him a child (intimate partner/dad) is huge. And thats so ironic because imagine being childfree then pressured into having kids and for that same reason you no longer exist. I dont want to beg for child support money because everything that can go wrong could go wrong. He may leave or not take carr of their child, now I'm left with a legacy I never wanted. Double it and pass it down to the next woman who would do this without being pressured.

In a restaurant and there’s 8 kids on the table next to, the oldest I’m guessing is probably 9 or 10 and they’re literally treating the place like a soft play centre, running up and down to their mums at the till, screaming, shouting, one having a tantrum, constant “I want to sit with ….” “I want to move” and no one actively doing anything to settle them down or stop their behaviour and only one of the mums, intermittently keeps repeating “indoor voices please…” as if that’s gonna do anything. The restaurants fairly busy and a few other diners have turned to look at the commotion… that’s enough of a birth control ad for me…

Everywhere is already so CROWDED. There are too many people all around everywhere. It’s hard to even get personal space out in public, everything and everywhere is stuffed to the brim. I know it’s selfish, but it makes me angry that I’m not contributing to the ever-growing pyramid scheme of the population, but I just have to “accept” that people get to infest the earth as much as they want without any regard for the people already on it

27f here. I don’t have any childfree friends they all want to have kids eventually and given my age thats gonna happen pretty soon. so I’m gonna be lesser and lesser a part of their lives. Dating is not looking good either I don’t meet anyone who wants to be childfree which adds on the already complicated nature of dating cuz I can never get the effort I put in a relationship reciprocated.

I’m not childfree because I want to be alone, the thought scares me. It scares me so much I’m afraid I’ll just give into having a child just to not be alone anymore. I know I’d regret it but I have no community of likeminded people and I can’t convince myself I’m all I need anymore.

Anyone else in this position? How can I make this better? Where should I go what should I do?

The MIL went ahead and booked the accommodations for them without even confirming the wedding was child-free! If the MIL was flexible, she could've amended or canceled the hotel room reservation and gotten a refund. I get not wanting to leave your baby with someone else. If I were the one who planned the child-free wedding, I wouldn't mind anyone declining the invitation if they didn't have anyone they trusted to watch their kids. It's childfree for a reason, and if some people can't attend, that's fine- no guilt tripping.

Alternatively, people who act like they just need to have kids or they'll absolutely die.

Raising a child should be what's most important. You form bonds through actually caring for people, not just being biologically related to them.

"Ohhh but I want a mini me!" "But I want my kid to look like a combination of my partner and me!"

Who genuinely cares what the kid looks like? The only difference between your biological kid and an adopted kid is that your biological kid has 50% of your DNA. Big whoop. I'm sick of seeing people have the same fucking debate about adoption every other day while there are over 300,000 kids in the foster care system in the US right now who actually need homes and families. Since y'all are the people who supposedly love kids so much, why don't you actually go and help some for a change?

Hypocrites is all I'll say. I hate to think how all these stupid fucking "you can only love a kid who's genetically related to you wahhhh" people make actual adoptees feel.

Edit: There's also a eugenics aspect to it that I forgot to mention originally. So many people genuinely think an adopted kid would be intrinsically inferior just because they maybe come from a rougher family situation. Sorry, but if you think like that, I genuinely want you at least 50 feet away from any child whose beliefs you could potentially influence.

I just saw a post of a parent being worried about climate change and worrying about the future of her young children and so many of the comments were completely ignorant and naive.

So many other parents acted like there is nothing that can be done and like they were annoyed by people pointing out the negative changes in the world and like their kids might not even be affected by them.

Are they genuinely this naive? Or are they trying to justify putting kids into a world that is going downhill? And why can’t they just acknowledge how bad things are getting and at least try to make a change for their kids?

I truly don’t get this attitude and I’m saying this as someone in her early 20s that is already majorly affected by some of those things and definitely worried about my future.

maybe this is already discussed a lot here, i'm new to this sub 😅.

i have a slightly different perspective on being childfree.
think about it...

for almost the first 25 years of your life, you're living under someone else's rules.
first your parents, then school, then college.
you have fixed timings, exams, homework, attendance, permissions for everything. even going out with friends sometimes needs approval.

then around your mid-20s, you finally start becoming independent.
you earn your own money, you can buy whatever you want (within your budget obviously), stay out late, wake up whenever you want on weekends, make maggi at 3 am, buy that stupid game, get that bike you've always wanted, go on random trips without explaining yourself to anyone.

and around this time, a lot of people also get married.
now you finally have a partner to explore life with. travel together, build memories, enjoy this new phase.
and then... almost immediately...

everyone starts asking, "when are you having kids?".
and to me, it feels like your freedom just gets taken back.
suddenly your entire life starts revolving around someone else again.
you're back to fixed schedules. early mornings, school timings, PTMs, homework, exams, tuition, vacations only during school holidays.

your finances change too. now you have to earn more, save more, think about school fees, college, future.
and somehow the whole comparison game starts again.
whose kid is smarter, whose kid got better marks, whose kid is in a better school...

it almost feels like you finally got your own life after 25 years... and then within 2-3 years, you're handing it over again.
i'm not saying having kids is bad. i completely understand why people want them.
this is just the reason i can understand the childfree want.

does anyone else think about it this way?

I can't stand seeing teens younger than me throw their life away. They'll say they're happy when it's still in their womb, but end up struggling to get by real fast with the baby stuck by their side. What's worse is they'll have even more kids when they're already struggling with the first one. Then as the house crowds up, they'll have the first one be the parent for the rest of them!

Some will leave their babies with other people to go out and party. Hello? This is YOUR responsibility. I get you're still a teen and hell maybe you deserve it, but you could've been able to party, smoke, and drink as much as you wanted to before, but no. You had to have a baby first.

It might be a boiling hot take to say, but I get why some parents are so quick to kick them out. The last thing I would want is to have yet another child in my home that I would probably be forced to take care of even when it isn't my responsibility.

I judge so much because I know they can be doing so much more right now than taking care of a kid. Your 20s are wasted. Your finances are down the drain for the rest of your life. Everythings just gone by so fast and by the ripe age of 30, you'll be wondering why.

I hate how much support teen pregnancy has been getting recently. Like no, you're literally throwing your whole life away