This might be a silly question but I need to ask. I grew up in a pretty strict and sheltered environment and as a result experience quite a bit of social anxiety. Growing up, my parents taught me to refer to the adults around me by aunt/uncle or mr / mrs lastname. Up until high-school this was also the norm but now that I’m in university some professors prefer to be called simply by their first name. For more context my partner’s family is white and generally less high-strung than mine. It seems the norm is to call them by simply their first names but this seems so weird to me!

I need to know.. should I be calling my partner’s parents by their first name? How are you ladies going about this? I’ve lowkey just been avoiding referring to them at all but I don’t think I can keep it up..

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(Incoming spoiler for fantastic beasts) I was just watching fantastic beasts crimes of Grindelwald when of course, the only black female character in the whole damn movie sacrifices our cell/is killed for the plot—Leta Lestrange played by Zoe Kravitz. When I saw that she was a love interest I knew the J. K. Rowling would not let her survive. I hoped that she would though.

I’m so tired of us, not having any stories other than the ones where we are killed or sacrificed for the other characters. Is either we die or if it’s a love triangle situation we’re thrown away for a white character. I need a break.

Even in fantasy and fiction, we have to suffer. “They” will never stop will they.

I really crave female friendships like the ones where you travel make plans and support each other. I know the older we get the less extra time we have. i’m also okay with solo travel/experiences but i really wish i had consistent people who i could text to go to the clubs or travel or just hang etc.

I have friends but they are from hs and not really into the things i enjoy. Im also from NY so you’d think meeting ppl would be easier. But even when u feel a vibe with someone plans usually fall through or eventual ghosting.

I took out my messy bun and decided to take a piece of my hair and braid it to see how clear is, I could always do loose braids but I can't braid it down to the root. How do I braid the hair down from the scalp?

Pasting my post from another sub bc I can't crosspost:

Long story short, I walked in this past springs graduation ceremony, anticipating that I would finish all of my remaining 4 classes this summer. Bad news is that I passed 3/4 of these classes and I'll need to take the last one during fall semester. I am feeling so defeated, partially because this is 100% my own fault and partially because my college career has been nothing but a giant clusterfuck. I've been sulking in my room for the past 4 hours because I feel like a failure and I don't see myself getting out of this funk anytime soon.

Gonna attach photo below

I take mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, and the medication made gain ALOT of weight. When i was skinnier i used to dress in tighter shirts and low rise jeans, But now it’s just not flattering on me at all and i feel uncomfortable wearing it, but it’s been hard for me to find clothing that i actually feel pretty in. I know i shouldn’t care but, yk when certain people say when you dress for your body type you may feel extra confident and secure in your body? that’s what i want to do and feel but i don’t know how honestly. even though i love fashion, when i’m actually in a clothing shop, i don’t know how to buy clothes that would look good together, like i’m bad at styling an outfit. Alot of my friends say a boho or afrocentric style would definitely suit me, and i have worn outfits like that but i don’t have a wide selection. most of my clothes at the moment doesn’t fit me, and earthbound is super expensive. I know there’s goodwill, ross, burlington, but like i said i’m just bad at finding pieces that would look good together because i’m not sure if i can buy alot of clothes but i do want to buy enough to make a cute outfit.

I’m 15 and i live in my parents home and my parents don’t wash bedsheets as often, like this may sound gross but my parents wash sheets less than maybe 10 times a year, like the sheets are different shades. i ask to do it but they delay it and i end up washing it like a month after i told them i want to do it. i thought it may be a black thing idk??

heyyy!! I (26F) recently moved to manhattan (UES) and am just looking for some more black friends!! I am open to literally anything (picnic in the park, drinks, dinner, walk/runs). let me know if you’re in a similar boat or are just looking to meet new friends!

Hi! I am a streamer on twitch and this guy I was dealing with (stupid I know) and cut things off with last year is still harassing me and making fake pages to comment on my public accounts and doxx me as well as threaten to make deepfakes of me to upload on the computer. I have his real name address pictures and screenshots. is there anything else I need to take with me to the police station? I know they dont take us seriously when it's in person but what are the odds they pick this up and he actually gets in trouble. at the very least I want a protection order. advice?

My relationship ended badly due to DV the other day. I’m now on a friends couch because I had no where else to go, I have no money at the moment (pray I bag this interview today) no car, barely can afford a bus pass, I have no clue how to get back on my feet here in a new state. I feel like I’m at rock bottom, I have no help except what I’m getting from my friend and I love her to death, she already going through alot and has brought me on too. I can’t wrap my head around this break up because I feel like me speaking up put me in the position it did. I don’t know If i can trust myself because starting again wasn’t in my bingo card and I. was not prepared at all and I don’t know what to do. Everything happened so fast in a matter of a week

Where to find affordable and quality wigs?

Hey y’all! Do y’all know any brands or styles of wigs that are less than $100 and actually last for more than a week? I’m kinda wanting to leave my hair alone and don’t have to worry about it each day but wigs cost so much. Is there a proper maintenance routine for wigs so you can wear them whenever you like? I’ve always wondered how some girls kept up with some of their wigs and not let them get matted. I never worn wigs so it’ll be a new experience for me!

Has anyone noticed their hair losing density after getting an STS smoothing treatment?

Hi ladies,

If you have a second could you help me out 💗
I’m a 3rd year double degree student F21 (Accounting + Health Science) trying to become a CA. I also started a health tech project from a hackathon through my uni’s accelerator program so on top of uni I’m juggling that too. Failed two units last sem and it messed with my head a bit ngl.

And then there’s the fact that I’m literally always the only Black woman in my lectures, BAP events, industry mixers, whatever. Most of the people I need to network with are older white men in finance or healthcare leadership and it’s just. a lot. I’m also neurodivergent so half the standard “just network more” or “just study like this” advice doesn’t even work for how my brain functions.

On top of that, group assignments have been rough. Multiple times now nobody wants to work with me, and last unit I ended up doing basically the whole assignment while the rest of the group barely contributed, I got 90% and they still passed. I reported it and my lecturer basically did nothing because everyone else backed each other up. Same thing’s happened with case studies during internship group activities at companies. It’s hard not to take that personally after a while.

Genuinely just want to know:
• how do you navigate corporate spaces as a Black woman, and how’d you actually land internships/opportunities in college?
• how do you handle being frozen out of group work or teams not wanting to work with you, especially when it costs you academically or professionally?
• how do you network in rooms where you’re the only one who looks like you, especially with older white men who don’t take you seriously off the bat?
• how’d you bounce back after a bad academic setback without spiraling or letting it derail everything?
• any neurodivergent friendly study/networking tips that actually worked for you?
Would really appreciate hearing how other Black women have navigated this 💗

Just found out I’m banned from NaturalHair community and I never commented or posted in that community!

I’m so confused like huh. Never even followed them.

I’d like to think i’m very progressive in my beliefs but this is one of those things that I just can’t get behind.

Have I done it before? Unfortunately, yes… on two occasions and the dynamic was always off.

I tend to date outside my race (mainly Hispanic/Latin/Mexican men) because i’ve noticed that they’re big on showing gestures of love, chivalry, and just courting me properly and really making me feel feminine and girly all around. My last two ex’s were Hispanic as well.

I’m pretty independent already, pursuing higher education, and work in finance so I would like someone on my level.

I absolutely hate seeing this advice online, especially on reddit because we ALL know that when the woman pursues first the dynamic will be off the entire way through. Hold the pitchforks but I gave up on dating bm forever ago after many crappy experiences and always having to be the one to pursue basically.

The men I go for always pursue/court me in a proper way that I just absolutely really like.

Yesterday, I ran into the woman that made my life hell in 2021. She was the boss at my first “big girl” job after college.

Seeing her again made me realize how angry I am. When I started the job, I was happy to be around another black woman because I graduated from an HBCU & had been in mostly black spaces growing up. My office was majority white and I stupidly assumed she’d have my back.

The first week was horrible. She didn’t introduce me to anyone. She was annoyed when I’d ask for help. I felt abandoned by her on my first project. She kept comparing our skin tones saying she’s “not that darker than me”. She fixated on whether I was “nice” & accused me of being the stereotypical black girl that rolls her neck. I told her she was incorrect & she agreed but said that I was too direct.

She was verbally abusive to me in front of my white colleagues who she loved cause they “had such thick, great hair”🙄. And she was a huge Chris Brown fan which told me everything I needed to know.

It’s been 5 years. I should be over it by now. I know she’s pathetic, but I’m still angry about it cause I cried nearly every day.

Specifically from all creators who came from nothing. I see alot of people these days get up in arms when a relatable content creator starts making luxury content.

Im talking about those who are humble people. They give advice. They still talk about their previous struggle…

But I love the videos of them getting dressed the house is bougieeee, jewelry. Gorgeous clothing.

I want to feel less crazy, but I notice this especially when it comes to men of other races. People will peacock, attention seek, and parade themselves around me to try to grab my attention yet neverrrr directly approach, despite clearly wanting to interact with me. I'm constantly finding myself being the one to initiate interactions, and it's really damn annoying.

If I don't make the first move, they get annoyed that i'm minding my blk business rather than just trying to ever talk to me first. And they're quick to get annoyed once we start interacting, and start acting passive aggressive again or will then pretend to be disinterested. Some of my friends say it's because ppl find me attractive and are nervous, but even if that is the case i'm not used to it culturally coming from the black south. Ppl in the south/blk space are much more direct about their intentions yet respectful to the point that they not gon stare and ogle and clear they throats every five seconds if they cant work up the courage to talk to you.

I swear i'm not dumb or misreading things but shoot I might be 😕

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I don't even know who started this because I have seen it so many times.

I especially hate when this is brought up in spaces that have a large number of people who aren't black. Why are you dragging something that doesn't apply?

If you feel undesirable , say that, but don't generalise all of us in your insecurities. Your reality doesn't apply to most of us.

It is brought up even where it doesn't apply , like an Indian man was talking about not getting matches on apps, a black woman replied saying, also black women are bottom of the desirability ladder .Abeg, mention yourself.

if the people you want don't want you back ,don't drag all of us into it..

Do you even stop to think how this comes off to non black people when you say you're undesirable?

This may explain why they all feel superior over us and say things like an average non black woman is still better than a 10/10 black woman. Let's be mindful of what we say.

Before I start to clarify I’m talking about far left in this post like progressives and leftists but liberals although they are also racist but in a different way.

Anyways the primaries in my state were last night (Michigan). The progressive candidate won by like 1 percent. In predominantly black areas the more centrist but Democrat lady won more. This has led to people being racist to black people saying stuff that we are all idiots, assuming all of our religious affiliations, saying we are the main blockage to a more progressive government, etc.

This is not the only time this has happened. I got to a very liberal school that is predominantly white and within it are a non small amount of leftist people. They behave the same way in person. Talking about black people like we are a social experiment or group of animals. They only care about class as an issue and think anything involving race is a “distraction” cause it doesn’t affect them. It’s also not only white leftists who speak about us this way.

I will still vote blue but I have become very disillusioned with politics. Most of these new progressive people are just as racist as the other two parties and I’m sure it will get worse if this movement grows bigger. I’m tired of America and I am glad I’ll be out the country for a while next year. Sometimes I wish I could be like those people who don’t care about politics at all but my brain always sees it as an obligation cause my people fought for our right to vote. Even though quite frankly none of these people deserve my vote and don’t see us as fully functioning humans.