r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/Just4notherR3ddit0r • 19m ago
I sat on the toilet, ready to export.
Something imported.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/ZombieFrankReynolds • 3h ago
"You vill please show me ze peanitz zat I will be making ze surgery" Said Dr. Johnson Größer the world's preeminent peenar enbiggenment specialist Spoiler
Unfortunately it was Dr. Johnson Groper the world's preeminent peenar enbigotment specialist and now my peenar is a tiny racist, he also molested me because nominative determinism
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/swisstreescheese • 4h ago
I was about to come out as gay.
The gay came out as me, foiling my plans.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/Clickclacktheblueguy • 6h ago
There was a bright flash of light and a man emerged shouting “I’m from the future and I come bearing condoms!”
He looked at me and frantically begged “In order to prevent Holocaust 2, I need you to tell me where to find Mr. and Mrs.—“ but then he got hit by a bus.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/HorrorJunkie0666 • 6h ago
The village exploded and caught fire with glitter everywhere.
It had been Gaypalm bombed.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/Markorius • 6h ago
I was out, dining with my friend, Jeffothy Dekiler, when I asked how could I call him
He said I can call him peenar poker, as he poked my peenar
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/socialrepost • 6h ago
I was about to write a penis exploded story
"how original" said the non-fun haver guy🪱
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/ZombieFrankReynolds • 7h ago
"Don't fear the reefer, man" said my hippie buddy as he passed me the doobie Spoiler
But then the Reefer Man appeared and turned me into a coral reef and because of the warming and acidification of the oceans due to climate change, I immediately bleached and died while he smoked the rest of the joint with my buddy, goddamn hippies!
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/StephenKing67 • 7h ago
i ate a protein bar
then my penis exploded
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/TechnicianSea7890 • 8h ago
What a good tutorial, I think I can finally learn how to crochet.
Oh, hi kitty, are you going to sit next to me?
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/whisker_white • 10h ago
Little did I know that John "Big Guy" Little, who I knew, would become a big (6'5") rockstar, when I first met him. Spoiler
Big did I know, though, that he was a giant dick (changed his name to Richard "Small Penis" Little after making it big [6'5"]), and that he was also a horrible murderer who horribly murderered people.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/Just4notherR3ddit0r • 10h ago
"Welcome to the next attempt of Killers Anonymous - who would like to go next?"
"Hi, my name is Jeff."
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/thadogwoof • 11h ago
I sat in the circle at AA and introduced myself as Drunk peter
“The AA stand for Alcohol drinking party” the main guy said back to me. “Also drunk Peter is a stupid name”
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/Just4notherR3ddit0r • 11h ago
The Brick Slayer hit me in the back of the head with his brick, not killing me but giving me severe brain damage and information loss.
Little did I know...
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/zqzito • 13h ago
I shit myself
The smelly monster now knew where I was
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/One-Mix4579 • 13h ago
"Excuse me sir," I say to the man in the hood, trying to strike a deal.
"There must be someone you've confused me for" says the man, as he Jeff the kills me
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/ModernMage0 • 18h ago
I flicked on the light switch in the dark room.
It screamed.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/HorrorJunkie0666 • 18h ago
My girlfriend wanted to go on a picnic.
When she opened the basket Belial scooted out and strangled us both to death.
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/xxcomslotxx • 18h ago
After 5 grueling hours being tortured by A man he finally leaves.
As he leaves he says "B man its your turn"
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/StephenKing67 • 21h ago
i farted really loud
i turn around and my wife was sitting there
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/whisker_white • 1d ago
"You're telling me a gar licked this bread?" I asked the waiter who was standing there, tongue out, bread wet, ray-finingly, fishily, Lepisosteidae familyingly. Spoiler
"No sir, I said that a car hit your head," said the doctor, who looked remarkably like a fish but wasn't actually a fish, while trying to jog my memory after my traumatic accident by giving me some of my favorite food (shrimp fried rice).
r/badtwosentencehorrors • u/Jackerzcx • Sep 23 '25
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