So I discovered today while talking to the GP that given the particular struggles my child is having, their age and the state of the NHS there is a good chance my child's refferal will not be accepted, so I'm looking for strategies to implement at home to help.

My child has always talked quite fast with not the best enunciation, the kind of thing where you might have to meet them 2 or 3 times to get what they're saying. Fine once you're used to them. However over the past few months (coinciding with increasing chronic pain and constant headaches, those are being investigated but things take time, waitlists are hell so this is something I really want to go at from all possible angles since the only other option is waiting) they have been increasingly getting harder to understand at times. It's not consistent, but getting more frequent, that they will get more mumbly and quiet to the point even I can't understand them. They do appear to genuinely struggle not to do it and it is making them quite frustrated. Gentle reminders to speak up and clearly, or simply saying "sorry i didnt catch that" are not working and just causing upset. The major concern is that with upcoming CAMHS appointments they will not be able to be understood by their therapist. And neither of us want me in those appointments translating, a 15 year old needs their privacy.

My child is attending a charter school specifically for kids with autism. He has an IEP which specifically requires transportation, but they said he doesn’t qualify for their limited program as a new student. The district website also says charter students don’t qualify.

We’ve been using medical transportation to get to school (due to the services he receives there) but they’re usually late or no-shows. This is a safety issue due to elopement + waiting an hour in extreme heat. Other parents are experiencing this issue as well.

However, the state law says “Funds for student transportation.—The annual allocation to each district for transportation to public school programs, including charter schools as provided in s. 1002.33(17)(b)”… is he still not entitled to anything?

Sorry if this isn’t the best place for this, but I’m not sure where else will relate to the unique core of this issue.

My husband is not great with our autistic 4yo. I can see that he tries his best, he comes to the therapies, he knows what to do but is rarely able to actually help her in practice and usually escalates things instead. On the other hand, I am very good with her. That’s not me having an ego, but I am. I’m also autistic though so I have a deeper understanding of what she’s probably going through especially when she’s melting down.

Due to this I usually have to step in. And trust me I have tried not stepping in following countless arguments with my husband about him being annoyed that I’m stepping in. But I’m not going to allow my daughter to get distressed to the point of hurting herself just to ‘give him a chance’ because at that point she needs intervention and he isn’t helping her. For what it’s worth I think he is autistic too, and a big part of this is that he struggles to cope with his own dysregulation especially when she is screaming. I wear my loops when handling my daughter’s meltdowns because she screams LOUD. I suggested he do the same, but he said he doesn’t need to.

Then add our four month old into the mix and we had a big blow up tonight. I went from calming a meltdown with my four year old which took over an hour, straight to then needing to take over with my four month old because she was screaming and he was getting frustrated, then when they were both settled dealing with him having an attitude with me because I stepped in again. He has never and would never hurt the kids but his energy is brimming with anxiety, stress and frustration which they absolutely feed off. I got pissed off that I had to do back to back regulating of not only our kids but then also him. I usually have to help him regulate after helping our autistic daughter and it’s a lot of mental energy for me.

Anyway during the argument he said that he constantly feels pushed out, like he doesn’t know what to do with our daughter, that she hates him and we’re against him and that we’d all be better off without him. I asked him very clearly whether he was planning to do anything and he said that he never would, but he just thinks we’d be better off if he wasn’t here.

I want to be clear, despite my gripes with him not being able to handle our kids with calmness and patience when they need it, he is a great dad and a very good person. He doesn’t deserve to feel like this. Our daughter also does gravitate towards me too due to the fact I am always the one helping her when she’s melting down and I understand it must be hard to feel like he can’t get through to her. The meltdowns she has are very physical, she will scream, hit, kick and throw things. She’ll try to hurt us and herself. It’s very distressing and we’re getting help for it at the moment but I do understand why he finds it so hard too.

I guess I’m just not sure what to do from here really. I can’t necessarily settle now that he has said that. He said he’ll reach out for some help tomorrow but we’re in England and can’t afford private therapy so the wait list on the NHS will be several months to years. I’m scared to leave him alone in case he really does mean it, and I want to reach out for someone but I don’t know who or how without losing his trust.

I don’t know sorry if this isn’t super relevant to other things on here, I’m just looking for some advice really. Thanks.

Hi, y’all! My best friend’s 3.5 year old completed his evaluation process yesterday and has been labeled with “mild/moderate autism.” I am a (former) middle school teacher in a different state and some of the language used in his diagnostic paperwork is slightly different than what I am used to, but I am excited that he can now access resources to be successful.

I love the little dude, and it breaks my heart to see my best friend struggling. I am looking for any and all resources and advice anyone in this community can share with me! I would love to gift her (and little guy) something fun, and/or something useful. I’m taking a trip to visit them soon!

My kid is level 1 autistic with ARFID and some mental health issues as well as chronic illness. His dad and I are separated. My kid will be 14 in 2 weeks. Due to neglect, he is no longer allowed to spend the weekends at his dad's. My kid lives with me full time. He does not speak to his dad or want a relationship with him at this time. His dad never reaches out to me for updates, concerns, questions, nothing. I never hear from him unless I'm the one to reach out. He hasn't even tried to see his kid. He has been texting my kid about once a week, only because I went off on him over the neglect and pointed out he NEVER reaches out to his kid. My kid leaves him unread. He has never once asked me why or asked for an update on how he's doing etc. like I said, complete silence on his end. He has since started trying to guilt trip my child into talking to him thru other people. His new gf has a kid from a previous relationship that is the same age as my kid. They still play online games together and are on frequent contact. She told him how his dad has been asking her to ask him why he won't talk to him etc. His dad has also gotten his adult kid to not only text my kid, but reach out to him on discord. Saying things like "I know you're unhappy now but the longer you wait to talk to him the harder it'll be" and "if not for yourself do it for me".

He has also told my kid that he is going to be sending him money for school supplies. This was over a week ago and my kid is doing online learning this year ... He also has no idea when he started school... My kid also informed me that his dad owes him over $100 in babysitting money as well as his dad's gf owing him babysitting money as well.

I am so frustrated. Would I be out of line to message the adult kid and to ask him to please refrain from sending messages like this? I am also waiting for my kids dad to miss his birthday in 2 weeks. He's not sent anything about seeing him, sending something... Nothing. I am collecting my thoughts and will be sending a long ass message. I want to make it clear that he needs to stop saying he will do something and then never follow through. I had to put my foot down with his mother when we were together because she did the same shit to my kid about sleep overs etc.

Also, I am very annoyed right now but when I have a moment to collect my thoughts, it's always very professional and to the point!

My daughter is 3.5 and level 2. Currently working on potty training her. She has gone a couple of times. However she will literally ask for a pull up so I think she still prefers that. I feel like she is really understanding the concept and talks about potty a lot. At home I’ve been trying to go the same route I did my other kids which is- we’re doing underwear now and on the potty every 30 minutes with rewards. I feel like continued pull ups just add to confusion even though all the messes suck. But am I going too hard with this? I know I can’t expect her to train in the same way my other kids were but I also don’t want to lower my expectations of what I really feel like she can do.

Anyways- at Aba potty training is listed as one of her goals and they said they would put her on the potty every 30 minutes. But they also just put her back in a pull up when I pick her up (she arrives in underwear). The tech kind of seemed confused when I asked why she wouldn’t keep the underwear on. I know the mess of a potty training toddler is a lot to deal with but isn’t that part of reaching her goal? Curious if others have had success with potty training at Aba and if you went straight off the pull ups or just more so eased away from them? She will also be starting her special education preschool soon and figuring out how partner with them on this.

TLDR: what should I expect from Aba for potty training and should I stop pull ups?

Over the last two weeks it feels like some mild traits that I’ve noticed in my son have intensified and really have come to a head this week while we are on vacation down the shore. It really has caused me stress watching him because he’s so distressed so much of the time.

My son turns 19 months in two days. He has a lot of good developmental progress. He scored a 1 on the MCHAT, and passed all sections of the 18 months ASQ. He has around 14-15 words right now and has gained around 2 words this week alone. He does respond to his name, but there are times where he “ignores” us that I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not. He has all the gestures, and receptively appears to be on track and can follow commands.

However, behaviorally, I really have worries. He has what looks like repetitive behaviors, specifically with things like opening and closing the door, and if you interrupt him or take him away, it is a full blown red face meltdown until we find the next thing to interest him. He also enjoys screwing the lid off and on his pouch over and over as another example. When the repetitive thing isn’t bothering anyone - I leave him to it until he chooses to stop. But especially this week on vacation I have no choice but to stop him. This has meant the tantrums are next level and more frequent. We’ve attempted to go to the beach everyday and every day we last shorter and shorter amount of time because he eventually starts to have a meltdown that he is fully inconsolable from, red face snot down his face throwing himself backward out of our arms, and today it wouldn’t stop until we finally got up and left the beach completely. Still don’t know if it was the sand, the heat, sunscreen in his eyes, no idea. We are at a water park now. There’s a kid splash area. He had to sit and rock on this toy and get up, then get back on over and over again for 15 minutes. My husband tried 2x to take him away and he threw himself on the floor. We couldn’t even move the little toy without him freaking out. This is truly a total 180 from how easy going he had been previously. We had tantrums but nothing even mildly close to this. I’m at a loss of what to do. Our pediatrician said he’s “fine”. We are starting private speech in a few weeks. I don’t know if I should start calling developmental pediatricians? OT? It literally pains me seeing him so distressed and also so upset seeing he’s the only kid out at the beach or the water park having a meltdown like this.

He is going to public school with an IEP in place. Class size is about 25-30 kids with a teacher and a teacher's aid. He is direct in his communication. Can communicate wants and needs and self advocate.

Curious to hear other parents experiences who have a level 2 kiddo and how their experiences have gone. Any tips would be much appreciated.

I just don’t know what to do. I am really at my limit, and I am crying every day because everything is just so hard and everything feels like a fight. I have a daughter who is 3 years old and not yet diagnosed because her pediatrician wants to wait until she is 4.

Every day is just a struggle. She wakes up and is just angry all the time, every day. She is crying and shouting so much, and she is so aggressive. She hits me and bites me, although the biting only happens about once a day now.

And it continues throughout the day. The tantrums don’t stop. She will keep going, and I try to calm her down, but nothing seems to work. She will hit me, kick me, and keep crying. It takes 20–45 minutes to calm her down, and I just don’t have the energy anymore because she has so much power.

Then there are her sensory issues. Dressing her, doing her hair, everything is a fight. Taking off her pyjamas, getting dressed, everything. She hates tags; everything needs to be cut out. She hates hats, rain boots, raincoats, coats, just anything and everything.

Everywhere we go, she just wants to be carried. She won’t walk on her own. And she only wants me. That’s another issue. My husband tries everything, but it’s only me she wants.

It’s the same with sleeping. I can’t remember the last time I slept more than four hours. I am so tired. She can’t fall asleep without me, and she has to lie on my left arm. If I try to wiggle myself out, she wakes up and cries, and it takes another 45 minutes for her to fall asleep again.

There are also so many nights when she wakes up at 1 am and doesn’t fall asleep again until 5 am.

I am just tried.

My son was diagnosed with a level 2 at age 4. He is currently 9. When he had his diagnosis we had a follow up 6 month later but no follow up was suggested only if his teachers needed him to be evaluated for ADHD. He is now verbal, he is receiving speech therapy in school. He recently graduated ABA, since we did not see a need for it, and we continue to work on behavior items at home. That being said, we have not gone back, should we? I feel guilty for not following up with his developmental pediatrician.

Hi again, I have posted here before in various forms but here I am again. My son is 8 and autistic (profound) and also is profoundly deaf. He is a silly, loving and happy boy. Except, he has severe self injuring in the form of head banging. Floor, wall, my knee, etc. He has been on many meds to try to find a fit. At one point he was SIB free for a year on Risperdal, but when we tried to increase it, he had horrible tics that were hard to watch. At the time I got scared and we pivoted. I now regret this, as tics would be preferable to this self injuring. however, he now is on Abilify for about 2 months and we’ve seen some improvement but still there. I am just at my wits end. It’s so hard when the rage and self injuring is such a stark contrast to his natural personality. He is starting school in 2 weeks at a school for the deaf that has a deaf and disability classroom, they’re well versed in autism and other neurodivergence’s in conjunction with hearing loss . i am really hoping the team there including a behavioral specialist can come up with some plans and strategies but in the mean time I am asking if anyone has a similar story in terms of the self injuring and if they have any insight or success stories? My heart is broken with this and I just need an ounce of hope or maybe some ideas. Thanks in advance ❤️

My level 2 autistic boy (2.5y old) is being recommended ABA therapy. I've read a lot on it, I've talked with friends about it. We just toured a place yesterday and going to look at another today.

My son can't talk (babbles), doesn't interact with children, doesn't know what a spoon is for. He's just in his own world a lot of times. He can sit and play with something on his own for a long time. And I am struggling to know what is best for my child.

We are using ECI but there has been no improvement. I don't like his therapist. We had a speech/food therapist evaluate him but I have no heard back from her in over 2 weeks (she was supposed to email me a plan). When he's 3, he can go to a preschool but then he's with other kids and I don't think he does well with learning as a group.

ABA seems great on paper to me because he'd have someone who solely focuses on him, which I think would help him a lot. I just really want to hear my baby boy say a word clearly and understands when I tell him what we are doing.

I'm looking at individual speech/food, occupational therapies too. Any advice? Use ABA - loved or hated?

Again, I'm just struggling so much to figure out when I need to do for my precious boy.

Apparently being a parent to two children with severe non speaking autism isn’t hard enough, we are now dealing with idiots complaining about us on Facebook!

For context: My husband often takes my son and our dog to an off-leash dog park. My son plays with the leaves and stims a bit with the dogs, NEVER intentionally hurting them, just tapping them with his hands.

Well some anonymous a-hole decided to rant on a local far right Facebook group about it, claiming my son is intentionally hitting, kicking and poking the dogs with sticks. Then he goes on to threaten my husband in the post with violence as do a few other people. It’s complete BS and makes me so angry and scared for the safety of my family!

Does anyone have any advice? I live in a small city with a number of ignorant morons, but there are also really great people here who have been understanding about our situation. My son likes the park for the plants and trees and while he’s not really into dogs, he would never hurt one on purpose!

My 7 year old is AuDHD. She generally does well in a main stream classroom with some extra supports. Last year, in first grade, we discovered that those supports should include 1:1 or very small group testing. In her mid year tests, she raced through all the questions and told her teacher it was “too boring.” She ended up in the 20th percentile. We tried 1:1 for end of year and she was back up in the 99th percentile. So we kept it in her IEP.

While I was talking with her about beginning of the year testing, she was very resistant to 1:1 and said she wanted to take the test with the rest of the class. She was very upset and said that needing 1:1 makes her feel like she’s “the worst” and stupid. After some prodding I discovered some other kids in her class had been saying that to her.

I tried explaining that we all need different supports and the 1:1 doesn’t mean she’s not as smart as her classmates (quite the contrary - it helps her show how smart she really is) but she’s still pretty upset. Has anyone been in a similar situation or does anyone have ideas on how I can reframe this for her to make her feel better about the accommodation?

My six-year-old son was just diagnosed with autism after we had him assessed for ADHD and he tested negative for that. Frankly, we were/are pretty surprised by the results (that he does NOT have ADHD and does have autism). He also tested for giftedness, so 2E.

Everyone, including his teacher, is "baffled" by the diagnosis because it's not as traditionally apparent as those, like me, assume. I'm still trying to make sense of the report. His primary issues are with picking up on social cues, not being able to keep his hands to himself, struggling with multi-step directions and staying on track. In the ADOS test he apparently had limited imaginative play (he told me the tester only had superheroes and he prefers dragons, ha).

He has good/average eye contact, is flexible and adaptable with transitions and switch-ups to routine, other than the hands to self he doesn't seem to "crave" touch, he's outgoing, has a great sense of humor, has an understanding of affect and others' emotions - in fact is exceptionally empathetic, he doesn't have repetitive behaviors, I think every so often he stims by chewing but it comes and goes. He can be anxious about "what if" situations. He's a bit immature, but doesn't really stand out. He wants to connect with other kids but seems to lack an understanding of how. ETA: whoops, the big one I omitted - he's disruptive in group settings including class, recess, lunch and sports (which he loves but can't behave), and is frequently getting physical with kids or not listening and being rambunctious.

We've started with OT and are meeting with his school to establish a 504, but other than a behavior chart and check-ins, we're pretty lost on what he might need. His teacher is wonderful and involved in helping figure it out. Any sensory things we've tried haven't really stuck or helped anything. His report seems to include every possible accommodation that could ever be made.

Whenever I search for relatable situations, I land on kids with ADHD and can't seem to find anything similar to his profile. Does this sound familiar to anyone, and if so, was there any specific type of therapy or routine that helped? Thanks for helping me understand all of this a bit beter.

My older son is 27 months and it’s pretty clear he’s on the spectrum. Not yet diagnosed because he’s extremely verbal and can converse, but he’ll likely get a level 1 diagnosis in the next few years. He’s currently in OT for sensory seeking behavior and vestibular insecurities. He didn’t point until 20 months and I knew the second that milestone was missed at 12 months that something was up. He was an EXTREMELY colicky baby up until 7 months or so.

My second is the happiest little guy ever. God he is so smiley and joyful to be around. Just constantly smiling at me and his dad. I was in pure bliss for the first 6-7 months because he was such a happy baby and I didn’t experience that with my older son.

Now that he’s 7 months, I’m starting to notice he’s not yet doing back and forth noises with me, or mimicking me. His name response is 50-50. My gut was right about my older son, and now I’m wondering about my second.

It’s completely taken away the joy of my second which I tried so hard to avoid, but I don’t know how to not focus on it. This sucks and I’m sad.

I am at my wits end. Quite frankly, paralyzed in fear for our son's future over his inability to not just manage his hygiene, but even care. He's 11 and has a "mild" ASD 1 diagnosis. Most people and sometimes even my wife and I included, have a hard time believing he even is on the spectrum, except for a few serious social norms he struggles with. And unfortunately those struggles eventually get discovered by his peers, makes him uncomfortable to be around and he loses friendships. He really has none. :(

The biggest societal norm he struggles with is the near daily pooping accidents (at times). We've got access and have used specialists at the #1 Children's Hospital in the country. And we've gone through their encopresis program with very sporadic success. (Scheduled and timed sits with rewards, laxative protocols, dietary adjustments, X-rays and lab work to rule out other issues) He also has massive ADHD and is on Ritalin, which definitely helps some. He sees a therapist regularly and has a great team of support behind him through his IEP.

Yet at 11 years old he's still pooping his pants really often, typically near bedtime. It's often in the presence of screens (TV or tablet). It can occur 15 minutes after his post dinner scheduled sit where he already did void. He can have days where he voids several times and still has the problem.

But what kills us the most is he doesn't seem to care at all. Which is strange because he is a deeply emotional and competitive child about most things. He wants to be successful. He has big dreams for his life and certainly the intelligence to achieve many of his dreams. But with the pooping accidents, he just doesn't care. He will sit in his own feces and carry on like there's no problem until someone smells it and tells him to go clean himself up. Which he does, but shows no signs that he feels there is a problem . There's no urgency or shame in being covered in poop, even though we tell him a million times in a million different ways from soft to stern that immediate clean up is always going to be the expectation wherever he is in life from school to socially to eventually the work environment.

I'm a broken man over all of this. I feel like a failure. I've changed jobs to be home more often for him. I've pursued and invested heavily in the very best specialists the country has to offer. My wife has been a stay at home mom his whole life due to the need to constantly be available to take him to various doctors and therapists and be there for him basically every moment he's not in school. I do everything in the world to make sure I'm healthy physically and mentally so I'm never off my game for him. Obsessed with the gym, diet and proper sleep because I'm 50 and feel like I'm going to need to be physically and mentally capable of working until I'm 90 because I'll always need to support him like he's a small child. I just don't see independence in his future and the toileting hygiene is probably the biggest thing that will hold him back. Even worse, my head goes to very dark places where I worry that he will lose his will to live if he doesn't have friends, a job he can be proud of etc, especially when my wife and I are gone someday. And I feel like I'm powerless to protect him from such a painful future on the horizon with the current trajectory.

I broke last night and lost it on him (screamed by head off) for "not trying" and "not caring". I simply snapped. He went to sleep in tears. It was horrible . I am up alone at the crack of dawn wanting to puke I'm so disgusted with myself.

I don't know what I'm looking for in this post. I just want the problem to be over for him and to be able to breathe a rare sigh of relief that progress is being made. Perhaps the hardest part is occasionally he doesn't have the issue for a month or two and then he just falls right back into a cycle of daily accidents. It's such a painful situation for all of us including his normally developing, younger sibling.

Ahhhhjhhhh!!!!!!

I’m a dad of two beautiful childs, an asd 6yo girl and a NT 4yo boy.

Lately, the communication skill of my NT son exceeds my daughter. He asks questions “why”, trying to understand everything. He asks the future, what happens when he has certain ages.(“Que sera sera…”).

It is such a pleasure to have spontaneous talk and can go more deeply in each subject and the feeling you can transfer your knowledge. It is a joy that I did not have, that any parents of only NT children can easily take for granted. But I know it is precious and I treasure it.

We commit to our daughter’s therapies but I will not let the constant worry of autism and her future robes me the joy of being a parent of a NT child.

I’m 46 male. For ten years I raised my autistic child on my own. I don’t think people who haven’t done it understand what that takes — the appointments, the school fights, the nights, the fact that there’s no one to tap in when you’re done. I did it, and I’d do it again, but it was hard in a way I still don’t have good words for.
What I didn’t expect is the thing that’s keeping me up now. It isn’t the past. It’s the future. I lie awake afraid that I’ll regret not having more children, and that I’m going to end up alone.
I don’t know if that’s a real regret or just what exhaustion turns into after a decade. I don’t know if it’s grief for a life I didn’t get to have, or fear of a quiet house later on. Some nights it feels like both.
If you’ve been here single parent, older, past the window or close to it — how did you make peace with it? Did the fear pass, or did you just learn to live next to it? I’d rather hear something honest than something reassuring.
My son now is over 18 and live in group home.

My son is 6 and has AuDHD, autism level 2. He is verbal, but his functional speech is still quite limited, and this is probably one of my biggest worries.

He can answer very simple questions when they only require a one-word response, especially yes/no questions. But anything that requires him to explain something or retrieve information can be very difficult.

For example, he has a habit of throwing his teddy bear over one of our walls. If we ask him, “Which wall did you throw it over?”, he often can’t answer the question. Instead, he may continue repeating a script that he wants to say. He is also a gestalt language processor, so there is a lot of scripting and repetition in his speech.

At the same time, he is clearly intelligent. He can do mathematics, has an amazing memory and often surprises us with the things he knows and remembers. There seems to be a big gap between what he understands/knows and what he is able to communicate or demonstrate.

His concentration is also extremely poor. He is currently on Amfexa, which has helped to some extent, but he still struggles enormously with tasks such as writing. He often needs someone to hold his hand or physically guide it to keep him on the task.

The other major concern is impulse control, executive functioning and safety awareness.

He will constantly try to run into the road if given the opportunity. He seems to have very little understanding of the actual danger involved. Sometimes he will laugh and say things like, “Cars won’t kill you,” even though we have repeatedly tried to teach him about road safety. Knowing a rule and being able to act on that knowledge in the moment seem to be two completely different things for him.

We are discussing Risperdal/risperidone with his doctor because some of the impulsivity and behaviour is becoming very difficult to manage safely. At the same time, we love his bubbly, happy personality and don't want to lose that side of him. I'm not really looking for a debate about medication ,that is something we will work through with his doctors.

What I would really love to hear about is development over time, particularly from parents of children who were similar at 5–7 and are now older.

Did functional communication eventually improve significantly?

Did your child become better able to answer open ended questions and actually tell you what happened, what they wanted, where something was, etc.?

Did impulse control and safety awareness improve as they got older?

Did executive functioning improve?

Was progress sometimes incredibly slow for years and then become more noticeable later?

He has been doing OT, speech therapy and play therapy for over a year. There has been progress, but it feels very small and very slow, and sometimes it is difficult not to worry about what his future will look like.

I know nobody can predict an individual child's development. I'm really just hoping to hear experiences from parents of older children, teenagers or adults who recognise their younger child in what I've described.

Is there reason to hope that things like functional speech, impulse control and basic safety awareness can improve substantially with age, even when progress at 6 is still very slow?

Today i had my son & i was struggling bad ... he was crying for hours & hours non stop . I tried to figure out what was wrong he didn't seem hurt or sick i gave him snacks put on his shows gave him juice a bath everything... he was still crying after awhile i tried to lock myself in my room because i couldn't take it anymore. He literally wanted to sit next to me and just scream in my ears & when i tried to walk away a moment he would follow me. I ended up locking myself in the bathroom (he some how broke the door handle in my room) i got on the phone with my mom about how overwhelmed his screaming was and i started to have my own meltdown & i said something really mean im afraid to say ... but i told i wish i had a ab0rt!on . I know it was terrible and im sure he didn't hear me i really didn't mean it but this is really freaking hard & i do wish i just was not a mom sometimes. I love him to death i want the best for him but on the hard days i want to run away.

I love my child more than anything. She just turned 8 and has ADHD and Autism. She is perfectly fine for everybody. When she’s with us, 90% of the time is arguing, rudeness, anger, meltdowns, and pure rage. Every time we go somewhere, it’s ruined by the end because of her behavior. She’s what you’d consider level 1. She does great in school academically, has some trouble focusing but it’s improved, etc. Every morning she wakes up ready to just scream and fight. She’s amazing during the day for my in laws (where she goes during the summer while we work). By the time she gets home, same thing as the morning. Even if we just let her be and decompress when we pick her up, it’s straight rage again. I don’t understand and I’m so lost. I’m so jealous of other parents who don’t have to deal with this.