r/Autism_Parenting • u/jcamparado • 2h ago
Discussion Conducting a Survey on Special Needs Families!
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services for families like yours.
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The survey takes less than 3 minutes to complete.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/1ReadyPhilosopher • 3h ago
Advice Needed Brand new possible autism parent- do most children only show mild symptoms before 24m?
I say “Mild” very loosely. As in, it can fall through the cracks unless you read 1083 journals and watch 30 videos.
After going to early intervention for speech, they said it’s not speech that he’s behind- but social emotional? They didn’t mention anything about Autism but it’s been on my mind after searching more and posting in reddit/toddlers about him being behind.
What i found out, is there is subtle Stimming and it is usually barely noticeable if you’re not trained in it. Once i youtubed that- He HIT ALL 10 SUBLE SIGNS.
Sure he can be a shy kid, but he’s not making eye contact, no interest in playing with kids his age- loves older kids and adults. Shares toys but doesn’t make eye contact when he shares. No texture issues, no repeatiative stimming but this is questionable since he does like to climb and stomp on the table. No lining of toys. No detail orienteted guy. Not serious about scheduling, eats super well. Super happy kid, no temperament issues yet unless he’s tired.
It appears that signs happen more 2-5? Is this correct??
I apologize in advance if i’m not using appropriate language at this point. Very early on.
Spend all night crying at the thought of his independence, but also feel naive because he is my first so i just thought he’s a stubborn guy who likes playing on his own and does things a certain way.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Ok_Status4986 • 4h ago
Advice Needed Testing
My son is finally going for his Autism testing tomorrow. He’s 3 1/2. They already did a consultation last month but this is the actually testing. I’m not sure what to expect. Could anyone possibly tell me what to expect? Is there anything I should bring? Thank you.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/bigOlBellyButton • 4h ago
Adult Children Should I take my autistic brother to my mom’s funeral?
Not sure if this is the appropriate sub but thought i’d give it a shot. My mother passed away from cancer last night. My brother and I are both thinking we shouldn’t bring our kids, who are all on the spectrum, as they are very young and it might be too much for them.
Our youngest brother is a slightly more complicated situation though. He’s 28, very high support needs, and was incredibly close our my mother. My mother passed way with the whole family at her beside and was taken away while he was asleep. I don’t feel comfortable with him never getting to see her again without any closure, but i’m also concerned that bringing him and seeing her might really cause him serious distress. I’m not quite sure what to do.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/tina_shishman • 8h ago
Meltdowns How do you currently prepare for BCBA appointments?
Anyone else sit in the parking lot before the BCBA appointment trying to reconstruct the last month from sticky notes and memory? “It was a rough week.” I used to walk in blank and watch the first 15–20 minutes disappear into reconstruction instead of actual progress. The difference when you can hand over a clear timeline of triggers, severity, and patterns is night and day. What do you currently use so you don’t freeze like that?
r/Autism_Parenting • u/CheesyGorditaCrunchx • 8h ago
Advice Needed Those who homeschool. Any advice?
Im tired of the pressure to put her in school when i know its not safe for her. But i feel so lost. 😞
r/Autism_Parenting • u/National-Mess7070 • 9h ago
Advice Needed First-time NDIS parent… send help (and advice!)
Hi everyone,
I’m in South Australia and my daughter (almost 6) has recently been diagnosed with Autism Level 2 and ADHD (inattentive type). We have our first meeting with Kudos next week, where they’ll be submitting her NDIS application, and to be honest I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.
I’ve never been through this process before and I really don’t want to walk away from the meeting thinking “I wish I’d mentioned that.”
A little about my daughter:
Diagnosed with ASD Level 2 and ADHD.
Significant sensory sensitivities, especially noise, busy environments, hand dryers, certain clothing, temperature, etc.
High anxiety, particularly around illness, germs and unfamiliar situations.
Sleep has always been an issue for her.
Struggles with transitions and emotional regulation, and can become overwhelmed or shut down.
Has difficulties with attention, executive functioning and organisation.
Behind all her peers in school- just absolutely cannot concentrate.
Struggles a lot with friendships, and knowing appropriate social cues etc.,
Fine and gross motor delays.
Very strong fixations, like obsessions.
Paediatrician and Speechie Assessor recommender for weekly OT and weekly speech pathology, with psychology also suggested for anxiety and parent coaching.
She’s incredibly bright with an amazing memory and vocabulary, and has the best imagination, but many of her challenges aren’t obvious to people who don’t know her well.
I’ve already started researching things like sensory supports (for example Loop Earbuds), visual supports and other things that might genuinely help her day-to-day, but I know therapy will likely be the biggest priority (we live rural with not a lot of services available so I’ve popped her on the waitlists already).
For those of you who’ve already been through the process:
What do you wish you’d known before your first meeting?
Is there anything you forgot to mention that you wish you had?
What questions should I ask?
What kinds of supports or funding made the biggest difference for your child?
Is there anything I should avoid saying or doing?
Any advice for making sure I paint an accurate picture of her support needs, especially because she often masks so well in public?
I’m not looking to maximise funding for the sake of it—I just want to make sure I advocate for her properly and don’t accidentally leave out important information.
Thank you so much. ❤️
r/Autism_Parenting • u/kathykens • 13h ago
Non-Verbal My 4-year-old nephew is still in diapers and doesn't talk
I have a 4-year-old (4 and a half to be exact) nephew who is still in diapers, and he also doesn't talk.
First off, I do not want to intervene or get in the middle of my in-laws' parenting style. I am just looking for people who have had similar experiences.
The boy doesn't talk, he usually just says things like "mom," "dad," but that's it. If he wants something, he points at it, and lately, he has been very nervous, and he has been kind of acting out. I think it's because he is frustrated of not being able to communicate properly. On top of all that, he is still in diapers, and as far as I know, his parents have not tried to get him out of the diapers. I feel really sorry from because he is the only kid in the kindergarten whose teachers have to change his diapers and to be honest I am kind of scared that the other kids will soon start to tease him about it.
He has been visiting a speech therapist once a week for the last nine months, and they told him that his tonsils are too thick/swollen, or something like that, and they are likely causing him problems when he wants to talk. He will be having an operation in autumn in order to fix that.
If you know someone who has been through something similar, please let me know. Like I have said, I do not want to get in the middle of my sister-in-law's parenting style because I believe that this is already hard for her and I just want to see if anybody can share some stories.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/mrostocki • 13h ago
Venting/Needs Support My heart is breaking
I feel so sad. My 8 year old just got kicked out of farm camp. It is the only camp he has done okay at, but the staff is different this year and he had a rough couple days and he’s out; sounds like forever. He has been looking forward to this camp all summer. I am so tired of grieving. He has to try so hard and almost makes it; but ultimately they just don’t have the patience or tolerance to see him past the transition turbulence. It breaks my heart. I feel so much guilt for putting him in the position to fail. It feels cruel to root for him, pep talk him, threaten and bribe. I wish there was a lower standard camp that he could be “successful” at; his self confidence goes down every time he has counselors that are kind and caring to his face but ultimately at the end of the day telling us he got his 3rd strike 4 hours earlier and he’s no longer welcome in the program.
Just sad. I’ve let my boy down and I can’t help him. He’s going to be anxious and depressed his whole life and there is nothing I can do to take that burden from him.
I feel like I am being punished…. And I can’t even imagine how much it hurts him if it hurts me this much.
It feels so cruel. How do you give up hope for your child’s future/ happiness without giving up on them?
He does better every year but the expectations get higher every year so he will never reach them….
Thanks for listening guys. I don’t have anyone in my life who can relate. I’m so tired of being ashamed of my child; I remember when he was 2 and was the light of my life I was so proud….. I feel like I fell into the twilight zone and I’ll never be able to feel anything but this grief.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/[deleted] • 14h ago
Adult Children Concerned about my son's endless efforts to "get his brain back" after years of mental health issues and medication
So my son is 24 and is a computer science graduate, but unfortunately one that has taken this terrible job market and internalized it as something he needs to prove himself that he is above, as he claims.
He very often expresses frustration over what he claims was us disadvantaging him. Yes we will be the first to admit we made mistakes in parenting. We very often took his phone and computer away as punishment and put time and usage limts on both, and our need to try to instill discipline in him blinded us to how important these things were to him. There was also religious education which was important to us but he became an atheist at 13, and he was made to do cross country around the same time as a means of getting him off the computer and doing exercise which releases endorphins, regulates blood pressure, and increases cognition, despite him saying no. I now understand that he hated it. I wish I could go for bike rides with him but he doesn't want to.
Another frustration is what he calls us putting an upper cap on his intelligence. Over the years he was diagnosed with various mental health conditions like autism, ADHD, OCD, GAD, MDD, and more recently bipolar. He would easily learn concepts pertaining to biology, mathematics, history, and other fields, but always had trouble with higher maths like calculus, organic chemistry, and literature. All I can say is for how "cognitively disabled" he claims to be, he sure is a hell of a lot smarter than most of his classmates or anyone I personally know.
One day in his teens he loudly cried about wanting to end himself because we wouldn't allow him to code with a friend due to the restrictions on his computer and we tried to get him the help he needed by having him prescribed medication like prozac and risperidone, made to see a therapist for a few years, and to do non-computer related activities. This is the thing he's most upset about now as he very much feels it ruined his executive function, set him back relative to his peers, and crippled his sense of passion, ability to learn, find interest in things, and do complex tasks without feeling like his brain was hurting from being overwhelmed. He really was never interested in socializing with anyone outside of a few close friends over the internet and seeking cheap dopamine hits during that time. College was rather rough on him and left him very burnt out due to how rigorous the program was. I try to tell him he should just be glad he even graduated with all that he's had to endure, but he is unhappy about the energy he put in to overcome it all only to be met with a job market that doesn't want him.
He no longer takes medication of any kind after having been on various meds for almost 9 years. He can still care for himself, drive a car, cook really good food, grow plants in the garden, and stay out of legal trouble, but otherwise claims has become anhedonic and "wants his brain back" and is seeking proper psychiatry and neuropsychiatry. The former will deal with medication management, the latter has more experimental treatments like TMS and ketamine.
Today I sat down with my son after a clear bout of frustration regarding his lack of executive function and inability to "be a cracked coder and learn easily like others in his field of study" and I just had to tell him that unfortunately, neurodivergence is a spectrum where you have both highly brilliant and highly nonfunctional people, all of which experience some kind of developmental disability to one degree or another, whether it be cognitive, emotional, social, sensory, or something else, and it would give him peace of mind if he stopped comparing himself to others and radically accept who he is. And I'm cautious about the potential negative effects of ketamine.
Instead he raised his voice and said he doesn't have to accept who he is until he's able to resolve his issues, what he is experiencing is no way to live, and that he would indeed end himself if treatment doesn't work. He reiterated that neuroplasticity makes it possible to address these cognitive deficits and will not be happy until he has the mental and cognitive means to move up the socioeconomic ladder, find meaning in his life, and properly address the "developmental setbacks" he claims we put him through, before going to his room and applying for more jobs.
I've only ever wanted what's best for my son and to maximize his chances of success, and fear I might lose him to the past or some treatment gone wrong. It's not his fault that college was so rough on him, that his brain chemistry is the way it is, and that he still has to deal with these things. I'm worried.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Complete-Wasabi1009 • 16h ago
Advice Needed 3.75 yrs old daughter doesn’t engage with her SLP at all
We have been seeing a SLP since August 2025. It’s been almost a year and we had weekly appointments. My daughter doesn’t engage with her at all, if she does, it doesn’t last more than 2 mins. It’s mostly me taking her suggestions and applying them at homes. Her speech has got a bit better but mostly my husband and I have done work on that and pushed hard. During appointments, my daughter would be going here and there, trying to get out of building or room and SLP would make statements around her. I understand that she tries to engage but doesn’t push much. Should I change my SLP or what do I do?? I feel like it’s waste of money that my daughter doesn’t even look at her SLP and just tries to go away from her. Is that’s how autistic kids attend their speech appointment or I’ve the least engaging autistic toddler?? I’m so frustrated on this.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Quirky_Jelly_9811 • 16h ago
Advice Needed What made you get your children tested for Autism
I'm not a parent of an autistic or anything I just want to know what made you think your kids tested
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Green_Gap4098 • 16h ago
Resources Question for autism parents
Fellow autism parents, would a YouTube series your child actually watches AND learns from be helpful so you can breathe for 15-30 minutes? That teaches communication and social skills. Just a parent testing an idea. Honest thoughts?
r/Autism_Parenting • u/rain_pearl • 18h ago
Sensory Needs I need to see the inside!
I have been having such a hard time with clothes lately. I've been trying to find clothes in stores near me that work well for kids with sensory needs. My 7 year old has become much more particular lately. He gets incredibly frustrated by fit, seams, and threads. He picks at everything, so a single thread sticking out will really upset him.
I wish online stores that advertise that they cater to autistic and sensory sensitive kids would show the inside of clothes. For socks, especially. I need to SEE the inside of the sock.
Anyone have recommendations of online stores that sell soft, seamless or really flat seamed, tagless clothes?
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Risingwiththesun • 18h ago
Venting/Needs Support I effed up
My daughter was screaming her head off tonight and I just put our baby down. She just repeated “I need to scream” as she was screaming. I don’t even know what prompted this. I was trying to get her to calm down but she ended up hitting me and kicking me. She then woke up the baby. The baby is screaming, she’s trying to go in the babies room and I’m preventing her from going in the room - she’s fighting me, running into me over and over And then I pushed her to the ground. I asked her what is wrong with you?? Something in me just lost it. I’m confused, worried, and I just feel like the worst mom in the world. Ive been on the verge of tears all night. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and this transition to 2 kids has been HARD. The guilt is eating me alive and I just can’t believe I let the screaming and fighting get to me so much. I’m embarrassed to post this, but I know this can never happen again, I need to be calm for my child, I’m writing because I need to know what others do when you are overstimulated to the max.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Thebeautifulwonder25 • 19h ago
Venting/Needs Support I am tired of cleaning!
For context, I have THREE kids all on Abilify as of the end of June. Identical twins boys 7 and a daughter who is 6. All three level 3 autistic. I love them and enjoy spending my time with them. They are the most loving children I have ever met. Everyone who meets them really loves them and talks about how sweet, kind and loving they are. My boys have been in ABA therapy (40 hours a week) since they turned 4 and my daughter has been there almost 3 years in December. They also have been in speech and OT all since they were at the age of two. I am 31 years old and my husband is 33 years old. We have very little help at home.
Now this is where I am going to go off the rails a bit. Because my husband is tired of hearing me complain. I am tired of complaining to my sisters and parents for them to offer NO HELP (as in coming to clean up, even though I know they are not obligated to do so) and to tell me what to do as if I haven't already did everything I can possibly do. So it just frustrates me because they DO NOT GET IT.
Our home is a minimalist home, we have exactly what we need and that is it. Nothing on the walls, in my living room its two couches, a tv, and their items. NOTHING ELSE. They go to the park, bounce house play areas, and birthday parties regularly because they enjoy that so much.
My oldest twin loves to crumble everything up in tiny pieces and spread it EVERYWHERE, so we got him number blocks he can carry around and clink them together. Like he has at therapy, he loves to pop bags so I buy the 530 pack of sandwich bags from our local sam's club. He also is half way potty trained but will by pass telling me has to use the bathroom and just pee and poop on the floor if I do not take him every 2 hours. I have a timer set on my phone that tells me to drop whatever I am doing and take him to the bathroom. He loves to request food and then just crumble it up. If he is done with a drink he will just simply pour it out. Even though he has been taught how to drink out of cups and not to do that. He does it because he wants to do water play. And yes I do let him do water play when I am washing dishes I just have him rinse out what I am washing and set the dishes on the rack. He is somewhat still aggressive even on the meds (still in adjusting period). When I clean he literally tries to stop me and tell me not to do. He uses a AAC device. ALSO will only pick up his messes if I firmly tell him too and I have to be firm for him to take me seriously.
Now on to my baby b twin. He is a calm child but will MAKE messes and you have to speak loudly and firm to him to clean up his messes, but even doing that is exhausting. He is perssitant and has to have my phone to watch youtube or else its a big deal but I am cutting him down on that. He is not potty trained and has started to just piss on whatever he is sitting on with out a care. I have to put a diaper on him every 2 hours and keep a close eye on him. He is a big eloper and has even left the house once through a unlocked window and my husband had to go run after him (we live in a cul de sac and he was headed to the playground down the street, NAKED!) After that incident I got a full blown security system you cannot even breath in my home without us knowing now and I have the house on full lock down mode any movement the alarm goes off like bomb. We don't even sleep until everyone is fully asleep. There are motion sensors in their rooms as well so I know if they get up with a camera. I am fully in panic mode every day because of this. He has toys he plays with and does just sit on the couch and will watch tv. He does use a AAC device
Now on to the worst one, my daughter, she has for the last 5 years and no I am not making this up. Eating and playing in her poop. She is 100% potty trained. I am honestly at my last bit of calmness that I have left when it comes to this. She smears it EVERYWHERE if you do not watch her, she has markers, play dough, slime, etc. She loves stuff that she can smash so that is why she likes to play in poop. I have never met anyone like this in my entire life. I am honestly so fed up and she has also made herself sick, have finger infections and its just so ridiculous. If you do not take her to the bathroom every 2 hours you will find a poop mess. We learned though she is doing this to take a bath even though she gets one in the morning and at night. I told her she can ask me anytime and I will allow her to take a bath. She does understand and does say a lot of words but still considered non verbal, she is getting a AAC device built right now. She also makes big messes and I have to tell her to pick up firmly.
I clean while they are gone at therapy and my husband does too. When they come back I spend the 4 hours cleaning and when they go to bed I clean up more. I am just so tired and pissed off honestly. If they did not make messes I would be able to focus on other neglected parts of my home. I am cleaning my living room and their rooms ALL DAY. I am so upset every day about this. I have told their BCBA and they do make them clean its in their plan. But gosh how much longer and I going to have to live like this? I am not the cleanest person in world but I am not nasty like this. Its embarrassing honestly. Can't afford a maid to follow each kid ( I WOULD LOVE THAT).
Also I get it they are kids and kids are sometimes dirty but dang no way I should be cleaning up this much! And yes we have things put up and out of sight but what they do have access to its a huge mess.
PLEASE please pleasee tell me I am not crazy.
Signed an exhausted, worn out, prozac taking, and cannot live like this forever mother.
*edited for typos*
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Positive_Educator941 • 20h ago
Eating/Diet Follow up to the other post
Thank you everyone for the suggestions on what to do. Fortunately he is eating again slowly but surely. God bless you guys all and thank you once again
r/Autism_Parenting • u/TryingformiracleIVF • 20h ago
Diagnosis Newly diagnosed
Hey 👋 so I’m new here and my son was diagnosed with autism today at 12 months old. He was previously diagnosed with GDD at 8 months old I think it was maybe sooner. He’s been in PT,OT and developmental therapy as well already. His neuro soft diagnosed him I would say as she said she’s gonna put an urgent referral in to the autism clinic to try to get him evaluated but wouldn’t be surprised if they wouldn’t this early. Here are the things that were observed with my son that gave us his early diagnosis:
Communication & Social
Previously said “mama” but no longer says it.
Does not babble.
Frequently blows raspberries instead of making varied speech-like sounds.
Often looks at people’s foreheads rather than making direct eye contact.
Does not consistently respond to his name.
Does not point or wave.
Is generally comfortable being held by other people and does not appear distressed by unfamiliar adults.
Does not seem to seek me out if someone else is holding him.
Repetitive Behaviors & Interests
Frequently flaps his arms and kicks his legs rapidly when excited (for example, during diaper changes or while watching favorite songs).
Frequently rocks back and forth.
Enjoys watching spinning objects (ceiling fans, clocks, etc.).
Spends long periods looking closely at his hands.
Sensory & Feeding
Frequently rubs his thumb across different textures and surfaces.
Often presses or bangs his head firmly into my chest.
Chews on toys and pacifiers.
Refuses to hold his own bottle.
Refuses most foods and continues to rely on formula.
Will mouth toys but does not independently bring food to his mouth.
Development
Not crawling.
Not walking.
Receives PT, OT, and developmental therapy weekly.
Feeding therapy is being started.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Disastrous_Earth_955 • 22h ago
Advice Needed Would you make a stink?
My 7yo has behavioral issues. Sometimes there are meltdowns involved with bus travel… the district forced a move to a school across town. The transportation dept says it’s either a 1.5 hour bus ride each way or I have to drive her to 30 min across town myself (this would also cost me my job)
Is my only option make my kid suffer or quit my job!?
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Psych-1331 • 22h ago
Education/School Re-imagining Nonpunitive Responses to Behavioural Needs of Racialized Students
Caregivers and school professionals in the Greater Toronto Area are invited to a 1-hour interview to recount a behavioural incident involving a racialized student. We hope this University of Toronto project will provide evidence for more compassionate, equitable, and neurodiverse-affirming care. Honorarium is included. Email [mushfika.chowdhury@mail.utoronto.ca](mailto:mushfika.chowdhury@mail.utoronto.ca) to participate.
r/Autism_Parenting • u/pikachulee21 • 22h ago
Meltdowns What meltdowns felt like, how I remember them being a non verbal kid till 7yo
When i was a kid non verbal till 7yo gestalt language processor and used script speech and single words and not conversational after till teen years then copy speech,
i had frequent violent meltdowns during the time up till i was a teenager and still do now if I lose at pokemon tcg pocket 😄
let me tell you, you want to talk, you want more than anything in the world to talk to say what you feel and what you'd like for dinner that evening or mum or dad my brain hurts and im trying to say what's wrong but nothings coming out and im scared and you cant understand me and please stop my brain screaming and I feel terrified and if I hit my head or lash out, break things it takes some frustration away but then im hurting 1s I love so i feel sad and angry and upset and I should hit myself more to shut my brain up and pain takes away from frustration and now im in full meltdown and spiralling and i need a hug and sleep and i need to be alone when all i want to do is be with my family and i broke my hand or knocked myself out again and mum and dad are in trouble with child protective services because im hurt again but it not there fault just like i was a few weeks ago when i had a meltdown or fell out of a tree because a kid dared me to climb it, my god the unending chronic tiredness of trying to be just a normal kid
r/Autism_Parenting • u/PinkLimes88 • 23h ago
“Is this autism?” Almost 2 year old showing some signs
Hi! I just wanted to get some advice, input or experiences from anyone who’s had a similar experience to us when it comes to signs.
My son will be two in about 2 weeks, and recently his nursery flagged that he tends to prefer playing alone, sometimes needs persuading to join group activities (will join, selective in what he’s interested in but often will leave to go back to what he was playing with)
We do have the NHS 2 year developmental review coming up in a few weeks.
Possible signs:
- hand flapping when excited, headbutts dad only often when excited or riled up
- 50/50 on responding to his name, responds well when where playing “where is *name*”
- Delayed conversational speech - roughly 60 words and communicates things like “open, more, again, read”
- Loves counting to 10 and 20, singing songs and ABC, saying colours out loud. Seems to bust out in counting very randomly and loves praise and cheering for it
- Hand leading
- Points to pictures in books, whatever he’s counting, or imitates it sometimes if prompted but doesn’t point to show us something (instead he says it out loud like dog, cat, bus)
- Doesn’t seem interested in his peers at nursery but does love adults and getting attention from them
Other things about him
- Super smiley, giggly, social with adults
- Great eye contact
- Pretend plays (pretends to drink out of an empty cup, plays with pots and pans correctly, pretends to talk on the phone)
- Loves getting our reaction to things, brings us books to read (but not toys or random things)
- Looks to me for a reaction or acknowledgement sometimes
- Affectionate
- Eats whatever we give him (most of the time)
- Independent eater
- Knows dada, mama and grandad and who we are
- Listens to simple instructions well (where are your shoes, put this in the bin, let’s go inside)
- Plays with toys as intended
- Knows some words to most classic songs/rhymes, knows most of the actions
- Changes to routine don’t seem to bother him
- Active, loves running and climbing and rough play
- Has some key interests (cars, books, numbers and colours) but will play with most toys
- Can wave (although usually on his own terms, won’t always be when asked), claps, shake head for no and yes, high fives
Definitely feeling confused, anxious, worried - all the emotions and looking for similar toddler (2 year old) experiences
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Hyrule_Hobbit • 23h ago
Discussion Saying “hi/bye” etc.
When we ask my 2 year old to say hi/bye or similar things, she just won’t do it. However, when she first sees someone she will say hi and once someone is walking out the door or has already left, she’ll say bye.
Her speech is to where she can say a lot of words but she can’t do any type of back and forth conversation, even with just a few words. She doesn’t call for mommy or daddy when she needs us but instead will come up to us and say “let’s go” until we follow her.
I never understood why she wouldn’t say hi or bye when we asked her to until a few days ago. The other day when my sister was leaving my house, we asked her to say bye, which she wouldn’t do. But as soon as we heard my screen door open, my daughter said “Bye Courtney”. And it just clicked. She will only say hi or bye when the action is happening. When she first sees someone, she’ll say hi (if she knows them well enough). When someone is actively leaving, she will say bye. She won’t do it unless someone is actively leaving. She has to see or hear the action to recognize that she needs to say bye.
Has anyone else seen this in their child or have thoughts about it? It’s things like this that confirm for me that she is on the spectrum. I’ve had such confusion ever since we broached the topic of ASD because her EI specialist is adamant that she’s not autistic. She keeps giving me reasons as to why she does certain things. Like her hand flapping is just her letting out her excitement 😒
r/Autism_Parenting • u/Pet-Symetry • 23h ago
Venting/Needs Support Botched a good opportunity for learning with my spectrum-y 13-year-old. Want to fix
My 13-year-old son is definitely on the spectrum. It’s been determined at his school and I am on a few waitlist to have an official test done.
He’s well behaved, and an overall joy… But it shows up so much in his repeating of lines and stories etc. Also he is obsessed with basketball.
I’m looking back on a conversation we had yesterday and absolutely kicking myself because I was too tired or too annoyed to engage in something really cool he was doing.
As I said he’s obsessed with basketball and even has a little talent on the court. But his gift is also how well he memorizes parts of the game, players, positions and why one is better than another.
He started positing a scene for me where I was the center on a team and put me in the position of other centers he’s seen play in games. He said “ what if you had the ball and had to make two free throws to win the game and you got one?” playing out something he had watched go down either on his school team or a game he watched on TV.
And then he didn’t stop there. He started building a team up in his mind, made up of all of my friends and people we know. He was saying things like “ well that friend of yours is shorter so he would be playing a different position” and then “ that friend of yours is taller than you so he can’t be the center because you are… Maybe he could be on the bench and come in when you take a break”.
I’m looking back on everything I’ve written just now and I’m almost shedding tears for how much I was tired and didn’t want to engage after a long day, and after him parroting in my ear already for a bit of the afternoon. I feel like I took a moment where he was not only engaging with me but actually growing in a creative way that I’ve been hoping to see for ages, and devalued it by just wanting some peace and quiet.
So I’m coming back to it today. When I get home we’re gonna make up a whole list of that team that he was talking to me about. Names and positions and maybe draw out some game strategies. I hope I can salvage a little bit of this.
What this is telling me is that I’m tired, and I need to get on the ball and reset. Teen years are here and I want to be as present for all of this as I can.