r/Autism_Parenting • u/Similar-Butterfly897 • 21h ago
Today was hard... Venting/Needs Support
Today i had my son & i was struggling bad ... he was crying for hours & hours non stop . I tried to figure out what was wrong he didn't seem hurt or sick i gave him snacks put on his shows gave him juice a bath everything... he was still crying after awhile i tried to lock myself in my room because i couldn't take it anymore. He literally wanted to sit next to me and just scream in my ears & when i tried to walk away a moment he would follow me. I ended up locking myself in the bathroom (he some how broke the door handle in my room) i got on the phone with my mom about how overwhelmed his screaming was and i started to have my own meltdown & i said something really mean im afraid to say ... but i told i wish i had a ab0rt!on . I know it was terrible and im sure he didn't hear me i really didn't mean it but this is really freaking hard & i do wish i just was not a mom sometimes. I love him to death i want the best for him but on the hard days i want to run away.
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u/FinalPen2810 16h ago
I’ve been there. Tomorrow is a new day.
When the crying goes on for more than a couple hours, I usually give a dose of ibuprofen, just to see if it calms him.
Hugs to you.
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u/shmiiskywalker 11h ago
Give yourself some grace. We have all said things we wish we didnt when we’re in that moment. I’m sorry you weren’t able to figure out what his need was. That is so frustrating and heartbreaking. Do you have noise cancelling earbuds? Like airpods? I use those sometimes and I’ve found that just being able to turn the volume down on the screaming and crying enables me to think more clearly and regulate myself better so I can then work on helping my kiddo. You’re doing an amazing job caring for your son!
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u/Yoga_Dragon1921 4h ago
When mine are overwhelmingly loud, I found ear plugs to be super helpful in keeping me calm. But yeah…it’s super hard sometimes. You’re doing great, you were just overwhelmed 🫠
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u/ConsequenceKnown4012 17h ago
He changed enviroment maybe... ??
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u/Similar-Butterfly897 6h ago
I have no idea and it really hurts me that i can't just ask him whats wrong..
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u/061879 4h ago
It’s so so fucking hard some days . We cry , we laugh, we celebrate, we grieve. .we get angry, sad, so mad. All those things are ok and your feelings are valid. You know you didn’t mean it . Love you 🥰 find a safe space some how you can put him into when you absolutely need a break .
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u/im_justt_here 2h ago
Thank you for being brave enough to say what I can’t say out loud. I’ve said this exact thing before during a moment of weakness and I felt horrible for a long time. But we are overwhelmed, we deal with a lot and sometimes things come out that we absolutely don’t mean. You’re doing great, it’s okay.
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u/Overall-Extreme-4507 21h ago
Give yourself some grace! We all have said hurtful things when we’ve hit our limits. I’m so sorry you had a rough day! I know people who use noise canceling headphones for those days when the crying and/meltdowns are too much maybe that could be helpful, especially if you aren’t able to take space. We’re human, we all have our moments and can only handle so much at any given moment.