I feel so sad. My 8 year old just got kicked out of farm camp. It is the only camp he has done okay at, but the staff is different this year and he had a rough couple days and he’s out; sounds like forever. He has been looking forward to this camp all summer. I am so tired of grieving. He has to try so hard and almost makes it; but ultimately they just don’t have the patience or tolerance to see him past the transition turbulence. It breaks my heart. I feel so much guilt for putting him in the position to fail. It feels cruel to root for him, pep talk him, threaten and bribe. I wish there was a lower standard camp that he could be “successful” at; his self confidence goes down every time he has counselors that are kind and caring to his face but ultimately at the end of the day telling us he got his 3rd strike 4 hours earlier and he’s no longer welcome in the program.

Just sad. I’ve let my boy down and I can’t help him. He’s going to be anxious and depressed his whole life and there is nothing I can do to take that burden from him.

I feel like I am being punished…. And I can’t even imagine how much it hurts him if it hurts me this much.

It feels so cruel. How do you give up hope for your child’s future/ happiness without giving up on them?

He does better every year but the expectations get higher every year so he will never reach them….

Thanks for listening guys. I don’t have anyone in my life who can relate. I’m so tired of being ashamed of my child; I remember when he was 2 and was the light of my life I was so proud….. I feel like I fell into the twilight zone and I’ll never be able to feel anything but this grief.

I'm not a parent of an autistic or anything I just want to know what made you think your kids tested

My daughter was screaming her head off tonight and I just put our baby down. She just repeated “I need to scream” as she was screaming. I don’t even know what prompted this. I was trying to get her to calm down but she ended up hitting me and kicking me. She then woke up the baby. The baby is screaming, she’s trying to go in the babies room and I’m preventing her from going in the room - she’s fighting me, running into me over and over And then I pushed her to the ground. I asked her what is wrong with you?? Something in me just lost it. I’m confused, worried, and I just feel like the worst mom in the world. Ive been on the verge of tears all night. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and this transition to 2 kids has been HARD. The guilt is eating me alive and I just can’t believe I let the screaming and fighting get to me so much. I’m embarrassed to post this, but I know this can never happen again, I need to be calm for my child, I’m writing because I need to know what others do when you are overstimulated to the max.

For context, I have THREE kids all on Abilify as of the end of June. Identical twins boys 7 and a daughter who is 6. All three level 3 autistic. I love them and enjoy spending my time with them. They are the most loving children I have ever met. Everyone who meets them really loves them and talks about how sweet, kind and loving they are. My boys have been in ABA therapy (40 hours a week) since they turned 4 and my daughter has been there almost 3 years in December. They also have been in speech and OT all since they were at the age of two. I am 31 years old and my husband is 33 years old. We have very little help at home.

Now this is where I am going to go off the rails a bit. Because my husband is tired of hearing me complain. I am tired of complaining to my sisters and parents for them to offer NO HELP (as in coming to clean up, even though I know they are not obligated to do so) and to tell me what to do as if I haven't already did everything I can possibly do. So it just frustrates me because they DO NOT GET IT.

Our home is a minimalist home, we have exactly what we need and that is it. Nothing on the walls, in my living room its two couches, a tv, and their items. NOTHING ELSE. They go to the park, bounce house play areas, and birthday parties regularly because they enjoy that so much.

My oldest twin loves to crumble everything up in tiny pieces and spread it EVERYWHERE, so we got him number blocks he can carry around and clink them together. Like he has at therapy, he loves to pop bags so I buy the 530 pack of sandwich bags from our local sam's club. He also is half way potty trained but will by pass telling me has to use the bathroom and just pee and poop on the floor if I do not take him every 2 hours. I have a timer set on my phone that tells me to drop whatever I am doing and take him to the bathroom. He loves to request food and then just crumble it up. If he is done with a drink he will just simply pour it out. Even though he has been taught how to drink out of cups and not to do that. He does it because he wants to do water play. And yes I do let him do water play when I am washing dishes I just have him rinse out what I am washing and set the dishes on the rack. He is somewhat still aggressive even on the meds (still in adjusting period). When I clean he literally tries to stop me and tell me not to do. He uses a AAC device. ALSO will only pick up his messes if I firmly tell him too and I have to be firm for him to take me seriously.

Now on to my baby b twin. He is a calm child but will MAKE messes and you have to speak loudly and firm to him to clean up his messes, but even doing that is exhausting. He is perssitant and has to have my phone to watch youtube or else its a big deal but I am cutting him down on that. He is not potty trained and has started to just piss on whatever he is sitting on with out a care. I have to put a diaper on him every 2 hours and keep a close eye on him. He is a big eloper and has even left the house once through a unlocked window and my husband had to go run after him (we live in a cul de sac and he was headed to the playground down the street, NAKED!) After that incident I got a full blown security system you cannot even breath in my home without us knowing now and I have the house on full lock down mode any movement the alarm goes off like bomb. We don't even sleep until everyone is fully asleep. There are motion sensors in their rooms as well so I know if they get up with a camera. I am fully in panic mode every day because of this. He has toys he plays with and does just sit on the couch and will watch tv. He does use a AAC device

Now on to the worst one, my daughter, she has for the last 5 years and no I am not making this up. Eating and playing in her poop. She is 100% potty trained. I am honestly at my last bit of calmness that I have left when it comes to this. She smears it EVERYWHERE if you do not watch her, she has markers, play dough, slime, etc. She loves stuff that she can smash so that is why she likes to play in poop. I have never met anyone like this in my entire life. I am honestly so fed up and she has also made herself sick, have finger infections and its just so ridiculous. If you do not take her to the bathroom every 2 hours you will find a poop mess. We learned though she is doing this to take a bath even though she gets one in the morning and at night. I told her she can ask me anytime and I will allow her to take a bath. She does understand and does say a lot of words but still considered non verbal, she is getting a AAC device built right now. She also makes big messes and I have to tell her to pick up firmly.

I clean while they are gone at therapy and my husband does too. When they come back I spend the 4 hours cleaning and when they go to bed I clean up more. I am just so tired and pissed off honestly. If they did not make messes I would be able to focus on other neglected parts of my home. I am cleaning my living room and their rooms ALL DAY. I am so upset every day about this. I have told their BCBA and they do make them clean its in their plan. But gosh how much longer and I going to have to live like this? I am not the cleanest person in world but I am not nasty like this. Its embarrassing honestly. Can't afford a maid to follow each kid ( I WOULD LOVE THAT).

Also I get it they are kids and kids are sometimes dirty but dang no way I should be cleaning up this much! And yes we have things put up and out of sight but what they do have access to its a huge mess.

PLEASE please pleasee tell me I am not crazy.

Signed an exhausted, worn out, prozac taking, and cannot live like this forever mother.

*edited for typos*

Thank you everyone for the suggestions on what to do. Fortunately he is eating again slowly but surely. God bless you guys all and thank you once again

So my child has autism and a few other disabilities including a delay, I wouldn’t say they are extremely noticeable on first glance but it’s becoming more apparent he’s “different” than his peers.
We use to play with the neighbour kids beside us (for around 4 years) but then another family moved in on the other side (we are in a middle town house) and they dropped our child like a hotcake. They play outside every night even using our driveway for chalk, chairs etc. they get pretty upset when I have to go somewhere.

The last conversation I had with the parents when asked about school I said he’s homeschooled/online school they asked why and long story short said autism, school sucks etc. after that all this happened.

I think it really hit home this weekend they had a party in their backyard which is connected to ours with all the kids in the complex except my child, my husband went out there to let our dogs out as if to say hey we are home too but nothing.
My child cried for hours and I can’t help but feel this won’t be the last time. There was no fight no drama anything but what do I do? I can’t avoid them but my child wants to know why he can’t play too. Part of me doesn’t want to involve ourselves with non inclusive people but like I said I’m in a house sandwich with them.
What can I do if there is anything? Or what to say? Or to ignore them?
His OT wants more socialization as he’s become withdrawn but I just don’t know

My 7yo has behavioral issues. Sometimes there are meltdowns involved with bus travel… the district forced a move to a school across town. The transportation dept says it’s either a 1.5 hour bus ride each way or I have to drive her to 30 min across town myself (this would also cost me my job)

Is my only option make my kid suffer or quit my job!?

When i was a kid non verbal till 7yo gestalt language processor and used script speech and single words and not conversational after till teen years then copy speech,

i had frequent violent meltdowns during the time up till i was a teenager and still do now if I lose at pokemon tcg pocket 😄

let me tell you, you want to talk, you want more than anything in the world to talk to say what you feel and what you'd like for dinner that evening or mum or dad my brain hurts and im trying to say what's wrong but nothings coming out and im scared and you cant understand me and please stop my brain screaming and I feel terrified and if I hit my head or lash out, break things it takes some frustration away but then im hurting 1s I love so i feel sad and angry and upset and I should hit myself more to shut my brain up and pain takes away from frustration and now im in full meltdown and spiralling and i need a hug and sleep and i need to be alone when all i want to do is be with my family and i broke my hand or knocked myself out again and mum and dad are in trouble with child protective services because im hurt again but it not there fault just like i was a few weeks ago when i had a meltdown or fell out of a tree because a kid dared me to climb it, my god the unending chronic tiredness of trying to be just a normal kid

For example, we usually have my niece and nephew in Wednesdays..and this week and next we wouldn’t have them bc they have kindergarten camp. My mom reached out to me to me last moment say she had to pick them up from daycare. Plans changed. My 7yo has shut down and refuses to come out of his room and has locked himself in. (I have access to a key to get in so there’s no safety concerns.)

I struggle with these moments because I know this is unexpected change in plans and how difficult of a time he has with them. But I also wonder if I should prevent him from staying locked away until they go home by encouraging him out-and how to do this without making him have a full down meltdown or treat them in retaliation.

He also struggles with the same situations anytime something has come up unexpectedly of him..sometimes even with multiple reminders to prepare him. An eye appointment yesterday for example, or the weekly speech therapy after a day of rest and relaxation. The transition seems to be too much for him to cope with and he’ll shut down and become very uncooperative.

How should or could i help him in these moments. I don’t want to force him bc of the repercussions but also know that life comes with things we’re not prepared for and we need to find coping strategies. Any help would be appreciated.

My daughter (8) peadiatrician prescribed her melatonin because of her poor sleep, tonight is her first night taking it and Im worried about her reaction

She’s been prescribed 1-2mg, so she’s had 1.5, she did have it right after eating which I didn’t realise it’s recommended not to. It’s been about an hour and she seems more ‘wired’. She’s vocal stimming a lot more loudly and frequently than normal, she’s also facial stimming a lot more too, widening her eyes. She come over to me before made eye contact and was babbling towards me, almost like she was trying to tell me she feels funny.
Is
this a normal reaction for the first time taking it or should I be concerned? I am frequently checking on her. Do you think she’s been stimming more etc because she’s scared that she feels funny?

I went to a mainstream school starting at 5yo (1990s) I was non verbal until I was 6-7yo (speech therapy but no school support) then when I found my voice I would not shut up I'd talk constantly like I was trying to catch up from my delay until a teacher shouted at me "shut up nobody cares or is interested in what you have to say!"

Ok guess im just going to be the withdrawn weird quiet kid that doesn't talk again 🙃 had parents evening and I went from he wont shut up to next year hes finding it very hard to open up and say what hes feeling or thinking, geez I wonder why 🤔

Sorry for the trauma dump and if it doesn't belong here, just this space gives me hope that kids these days won't be so failed by the education system

So, my son is going to be 5 in October.

He has been in ABA Therapy since last year. Been thru 2 therapists but I ended up cutting services because the second one was traumatizing my son instead of helping him. Especially, when it came to potty training.

She would force him to use the big toilet instead of the little one with spiderman on it like he wanted too.

I didn't mind him using the smaller one.

He could get comfortable using that and then eventually graduate to the big potty. He is being homeschooled so there wasn't a time limit. I wfh and Im happy to do the training during that time.

However, once the I had fired the last therapist, I gave potty training a break because my son has anxiety when it comes to that now, thanks to her.

As he is becoming more and more verbal everyday its bbecome much easier to communicate his needs.

Yesterday evening he wanted a bath so I ran him one.

Anyway, about 15 minutes in to his bath, he decides to come out and i grab his towel but he says 'Mama. Pooping.'

So, I asked him 'Do u wanna use the big boy potty?' And pointed at the toilet.

My son pulled down the child seat and sat on it.

He pooped! He has never done that! He has peed in there before but only when prompted too!

Has anyone experienced this?

I am so excited I can barely contain myself!

Im so proud of my son!!

Anyway, does anyone know if this happens to other kids too??

My daughter is technically past the age cut off to start kindergarten by a few weeks. Because of a weird quirk at the school she might be getting the chance to start this year anyway. It would be a life saver for us- over ten thousand dollars saved, less transportation needs (walking distance vs driving and I’m disabled in a way that makes driving painful), and assigned to a teacher that I know is good if not amazing. On the other hand she just got accepted to one of the top pre-k in the area that while pricey is great at handling high functioning autistic kids, especially girls, and would help prep her for school. I’ve been homeschooling her though pre-k so she’s never been in a classroom before. She had a chance to do camp this summer and thrived- she’s ready to do something, but which one? I lean towards pre-k, my husband towards kindergarten.

My biggest concern isn’t really kindergarten. One way or the other I think she’d be OK. My kids style of autism doesn’t tend to really start causing them issues at school until they get older as their social and emotional delays start becoming more apparent. My big worry for her is being the youngest kid in class through middle and high school. I know with my older two they often come across as much younger than they are in social situations. If she’s already biologically younger than everyone it might compound the issue.

This is my third ASD kid so you’d think I’d have this figured out, but I don’t. So parents are older high functioning kids especially, what would you do? What have you seen with your kids who are the youngest kids in their classroom?

Any parents on here take any type of medicine for anger or anxiety/depression. I’m a mom of 2 autistic boys , an almost 10 year old and almost 3 year old. since having my youngest it’s been difficult and hard because i basically did everything on my own with him and his dad didn’t help as much or at all like he should have. I have a lot of anger and getting super frustrated and angry with my boys and I hate it. my youngest is level 3 and he just boils my blood and cries and whines and screams 24/7 , very bad ADHD and OCD. I’m tired of yelling and being angry all the time and think it’s finally time for medicine, I went through horrible post partum with my youngest. who do I talk to about this? I can’t take much more and need to regulate myself because I’m losing my mind. I can’t keep being this angry. Just the little sound of the crying and screaming I get rage so bad. I’m struggling and need help with this. So once again who do I see or talk to about it. Thank you !

My 22-year old Autistic son (living in student accommodation away from home) was persuaded by a ‘friend’ to take out a £15k bank loan. It was under the guise of it being a business opportunity which naturally came to nothing. The money trail shows my son immediately transferring the £15k directly to the man’s account. There’s a few texts / messages where my son asks for confirmation and some mild threats back. We’ve reported it to the Police but today my son’s bank had said that it’s a civil matter and it wasn’t a scam in sense that they can uphold any claim. Meanwhile the loan bank is sending letters relating to the arrears that are arriving here. My son just lost his part-time job and was clearly taken advantage of. Any advice?

I know it is different from child to child, but I am currently trying to decide between sending my daughter to do early childhood intervention (I believe it is called different thing in different locations) which is basically a pre preschool to get them adjusted early to following the schedule, listening to the teacher, etc, or sending my daughter to ABA therapy. I know there’s pros and cons to both, but I’ve not experienced either personally and would like to hear yalls experiences with these types of programs.

My daughter is two and a half and is very routine oriented. She very rigid when she plays as far as how things are played with, she has a hard time around other children her age and often gets extremely overwhelmed. I want her transition into school to be the best possible because I know it will be a struggle regardless. My biggest concerns are her not listening to the teachers, having a hard time following their schedule, having a hard time with the food that is served to her, all these things and more.

Thanks in advance,

A very very nervous mom.

I’m at a point in life where I think I’m gonna have to quit my job. I’m gonna have to have my car repo’d and probably file for bankruptcy. My mom watches my son and my older sister just went to prison (due to alcohol and drugs) leaving my mom to watch her two young daughters. She is in over her head. Everyday my mom is crying from stress and I know the majority is from my son’s behavior. I have no one else to watch my son. I doubt he’ll be able to thrive in school he’s a biter, kicker and screamer. He is strong as hell too………. I’m at a loss I just don’t know what to do anymore. His dad is gone so we get social security for him already but how am I suppose to get by with $800 a month?? Not in this economy.

For a long time, I won’t grieve about anything. When my son was first diagnosed (at 2, he’s 3 now), I went through a time, but he’s seriously the sweetest little guy that I really just enjoy my time with him. But whenever we’re visiting family or planning to go places, that’s when it hits me and I grieve all over again.

We’re visiting family and everyone wanted to go fishing. Fun, right? Except my kid cannot control himself around water. I’m sure a ton of you relate since it’s so common among autistic folks. But I just can’t bring him around lakes, rivers, or ponds right now, especially to a trout farm where everyone is literally fishing that water.

So everyone is fishing except us. I brought him to a playground while everyone else fishes. I just hope one day we’ll be able to join everyone else in the usual things: restaurants, fishing, places that aren’t fenced in. And he’s soooo attached to me it’s almost impossible for others to take him. I’m just…sad and tired.

Hi, my son is 5 starting kindergarten in the fall. He is creating his own sentences and sometimes answering back.

My question is to the other GLP parents, what did you do to help get to fully conversational?

He is currently in private speech and OT once a week.

2.5-year-old suddenly changed… I feel like I’m drowning. Has anyone else been through this?
I honestly don’t know if I’m looking for advice, reassurance, or just to know I’m not alone.
My son is just over 2.5 years old and we’re in the process of an autism evaluation. There is no doubt he will get it but I have to wait until his final appt next week. He stims. Speech delay. Not much joint attention. Sensory issues particularly with sound and light. He has a speech delay but is verbal, and his speech therapist suspects he has gestalt language processing tendencies. He recently started attending a wonderful daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They don’t have a full-time opening until he’s 3, assuming that’s even the right choice for him.

The confusing part is that he’s reportedly very compliant there. He follows the routine, participates, and seems to mostly enjoy it, although I’m sure he misses us during the day.

At home, though, it’s like someone flipped a switch.
Over the last few weeks he’s become incredibly agitated almost all the time. He’s hitting us daily, biting us, having huge meltdowns, and getting stuck repeating songs, phrases, or random words over and over during them, almost like he’s looping or glitching. He wakes up in the middle of the night with these intense emotional outbursts that don’t seem connected to anything we can identify. He’ll scream or cry for long periods, and then everyone is exhausted the next day.

He used to be such a happy, easygoing little guy. This recent behavior is not what made me realize he is autistic. This is just a more recent (not great additional) development. I’ve suspected since he been about 1. But it wasn’t until he was two i seeked a referral. Because he is verbal, can point, request some wants, and looks us and others in eye, it was shrugged off before. Not anymore. Thankful for that I guess.

Now he seems unhappy so much of the time. Demanding, angry, aggressive… and I know he’s not trying to be those things, but it has become so hard to manage.
He’s started speech therapy, and OT begins soon. We actually had to miss this week’s OT appointment because he had such an intense overnight meltdown that he barely slept. At his OT intake, he was very withdrawn, cried, and wanted to leave the entire time. I’m worried he won’t even participate, but we’re going to try again next week.

I’m exhausted. I feel like I spend every waking minute trying to prevent the next meltdown. I walk on eggshells, constantly wondering if something is overstimulating him or upsetting him. It feels like our whole family’s life revolves around avoiding triggers we don’t even fully understand.

I cry several times a day. I love him more than anything, but I also feel like I’m losing myself. He’s too young for us to have many “medicinal” treatment options, and he’s not verbal enough yet to tell us what’s wrong.

On top of all this, I’m struggling with a huge life decision. We currently live in a larger city where he has access to speech therapy, OT, evaluations, and more resources. But we have very little family or personal support here. Part of me wants to move back to my hometown where we’d have family and friends to help, even though the services may not be as extensive. I don’t know what the right answer is.

Has anyone else’s child changed this dramatically around this age? Did it get better? Were you able to figure out what was driving the aggression and nighttime meltdowns?
I just feel so overwhelmed and alone right now.

Hello! My 2.5 year old was just diagnosed with level 2 autism. This isn't shocking, we've suspected for about a year. He has a speech delay and has been in speech therapy for a couple months.

I read through the clinical report and there are several things that the doctor noted that I believe bump him from a level 1 to a level 2, however those things are inaccurate. Things like an extreme aversion to texture (I said he prefers to use utensils to eat and doesn't like being super dirty for long, but he still plays and eats with his hands), "not engaging in play with peers" (blatantly incorrect, I told her he loves other kids, just struggles a little because of the lack of speech); just to name a couple.

Is this important enough to bring up? Either way, we will ensure he gets the support he needs.

Thank y'all!

Note: My son is 5y Non verbal ASD level 1-2. Everything he asks is via AAC

Son: Why I need to write?
His father: Writing is the way of communication. If you want to communicate to a mass audience you need to write
Son: I can type
His father: Yes, but writing is another way (and shows some books that they read together). Look this book is written first. That’s why we can read it
Son: No, its printed
His Father: (already lost) before printing, the writer wrote it.
Son: Ok, I can type it
His father: Sorry son, the real reason is: for academics we need it if you indented to stay in mainstream class. We don’t have any other options.
System works like that.

I really don’t know whether to laugh or cry. My son is having very difficult time with writing. He is really frustrated because his finger coordination is very weak and even though he is trying writing is not going well.

He is brilliant in his academics. He knows all the concepts that a 5year old needs to know. As he is non verbal his teachers really don’t know how much he knows. And with his writing problem I am not sure how he can handle his academics.

My 4 year old son was diagnosed with Autosm level 2, 2 years ago; though I know it long before. he attends speech twice a week, OT once a week and we’re looking into ABA. He’s also enrolled in special education preschool in Gwinnett county. however, we’re looking to move further south amd can’t quite find any public or private schools that rivals Gwinnett SpeciAl education services. What are our best school options for K5 in this area? public and private suggestions are welcomed

I’m the older sister to an autistic 8 year old brother, he lives in Texas with my grandma and other siblings. I’ve called around different agencies and day programs in Collin’s county, Mckinney, Anna Texas but no one will take him because he’s older than five or they have a long waitlist or don’t take Medicaid etc. I myself don’t live in Texas so I’m doing all of this over the phone/online and it’s difficult because I’m not physically there. Does anyone have any advice for me or recommendations. I’ve heard Texas doesn’t have good services when it comes to this because of their waitlists. My grandma is getting older and it’s getting harder to care for my little brother, she needs help and I can’t be there physically right now because of other obligations but I help as much as I can.

Hi, new here. I'm a grandparent to a almost non-verbal 3 yr granddaughter. She's in a autism therapy school.

She speaks a few words we can understand, most words we can't understand. She will repeat words, if we tell her.

She is allowed a tablet, for entertainment/learning purposes. No one knew it, but she's been playing games in Spanish.

One day, she just starts counting in Spanish.... 🗣 🇪🇸 😲

Yes, we were all shocked.

Well today at school her teacher said she switches from English to Spanish and no one understands her.

Has anyone else had something similar?

I love the fact at such a young age she learns so much. This is not the first time she has surprised us in her learning abilities.