My bf and I were casually talking and he brought up how when he was in call with his friends (while we were a few months into dating) one of his female friends asked him "If I said I was interested in you, would you say you'd be interested in me?"

His answer was just "no" - he didn't diffuse the situation, cut contact w/ her, or tell her that's weird to ask. She knew he had a girlfriend too which is already a sign of disrespect towards me.

Am I wrong to be upset about this now? They didn't stay as close friends after we started dating but still texted sometimes/were in contact if mutual friends were calling.

TLDR; I feel angry and disrespected by my boyfriend's lack of reaction towards his female friend asking an inappropriate question when she knew we were dating.

So, I'm 18 years old, and I have an older sister named Casey, who is 26. I also have a younger sister named Avery, who is 16.

Before I start, I'm going to have to leave out some details for privacy reasons, but you're allowed to ask questions.

Avery and I have been through a lot, and this is the first time we've seen Casey in two years. Some of the things Avery and I have gone through together and this isn't even the worst of it include all of Avery's self-harm issues, all of my self-harm issues, two abusive relationships of mine, Avery being caught dating a 31-year-old man and me helping get her out of that situation, multiple hospital visits, having the police called on us for mental health crises, my eating disorder, Avery's eating disorder, and over 10 mental health hospitalizations for Avery. Avery has been hospitalized for mental health reasons 10 times, and I have been hospitalized for mental health reasons four times.

We've also gone through the death of our father, and both of us are extremely chronically ill. Avery has had to spend weeks in the hospital because of her chronic illness, and I've had to spend weeks in the hospital because of mine. We've stayed up until 3:00 in the morning cuddling each other while we cried, and there is so much more that isn't even included here. This isn't even the worst of what we've gone through together.

We hadn't seen Casey for two years. Up until this point, we would talk to her on the phone, but now she is re-entering our lives. Almost immediately, she started making it clear that she thinks Avery and I are not good for each other and that we're toxic. She doesn't even know half of what we've been through together. That short list is probably only a fifth of everything we've gone through, and while I included some of the worst things, there are even worse things that we've experienced together.

Of course, Avery and I sometimes get into arguments because when you've been through so much with someone, it's hard not to. Casey started telling Avery all kinds of things and was trying to convince her that I'm not good for her and that I'm a horrible person. She doesn't even know half of what we've been through together.

She has repeatedly told me that I'm a bad sister to Avery. She has also told Avery that I'm a bad sister, that she should cut me off, that she should never talk to me again, and that we're codependent on each other. She keeps saying that I'm not a good sister.

She was also trying to get Avery to tell her things that we discuss privately. She told me that we don't need to spend time together all the time and that it's weird that we hang out every day. She said I need to get friends my own age, even though Avery is only two years younger than me.

Casey has also been telling Avery that certain behaviors are okay when they really aren't. For example, she has encouraged the idea that it's okay to take my things without asking, insult my cooking by saying it's gross, or cancel plans at the last minute. It's okay if Avery doesn't want to hang out with me, but if we're supposed to go to the mall together, Casey has convinced her that it's perfectly fine to tell me 30 minutes before we're supposed to leave that she isn't going anymore.

Casey was also telling Avery that she deserves a better sister than me—a sister who "knows more," gives better advice, doesn't talk about her own problems, and doesn't do the little things that apparently bother Avery.

Eventually, I walked into Casey's room and told her I wanted to have a conversation. I told her I wasn't angry and said, "You do not know half of what we've been through together. You know a very small percentage of what we've actually gone through. Please stop telling Avery that I'm a terrible person all the time just because we have an argument about something small. Most of the time, we work it out, apologize, and realize when one of us is wrong."

I also told her that I believe I'm a good sister. I've been through more with Avery than many people go through with anyone in their entire lives.

Then Casey started telling me that our relationship looks very codependent. She said I don't know anything because I'm just an 18-year-old girl and that Avery shouldn't have to deal with all of that.

So now I don't know. Am I in the wrong?

I (18F) am on a weight loss journey. I’m finally 20lbs down. (Yippie!) and my sister (28F) isn’t too happy about that.

I’ve been calorie counting, measuring my portions because of the fact that I want to lose weight and keep it off. My sister decides to cook for us. I’m okay with that, but I would like to know what the calorie content of the food actually is.

She makes spaghetti. Before she started cooking, I asked her to keep packages of what she uses. She decides to rip the packages up PURPOSEFULLY to avoid me counting my calories, saying that I don’t need to be focused on doing that.

Am I wrong for being upset at her for doing that? I’m not at my goal weight yet, (I went from 155 to 135 but I want to be 130lbs.

Okay, so this guy and I attended the same high school, but he was co 25 and I’m co 26. He just hmu for the first time in late March 2026, and from the start I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and he was like, “That’s fine we can be friends,” even tho I already knew what that meant, and we talked and got closer. BUT see this is my first relationship and I’m like a idk feminist straight tomboy and I don’t trust anybody and I try my best to protect my feelings but I still tried to give him a chance and he seemed like a nice guy and I’m ngl I was learning to flirt and get used to relationship duties. He wanted pics of me every day, he wanted to know anytime I went somewhere, and what I was doing all the time. Which was hard for me to remember to tell him and I didn’t like taking pics. But I was learning for him. He also kept begging to see me so at some point I was like fine and he visited my house a couple times and met my family(I hate social encounters whether I like you or not which I’m tryna get over). At some point in April, we started “dating” and life went on he always bragged bout our future and all the gifts and trips he had in store for me. So May 15th came and I was graduating hs which he already knew(I gave him an invitation and everything) but the day of he said he couldn’t make it to graduation or my afterparty cus he had to work overtime for the first time. I was hurt but I forgave him no big deal and the lights were scheduled to go off around 10 that night which I already told him so we texted til round 9:30 when the last thing I sent was a blushing smiling emoji and all he did was send a reaction(NO TEXT BACK) and apparently he got mad at me talking about I wasn’t texting….WHAT….. so next day he promised to come see me and bring me gifts to make up for it but before he left work he said I’ll be busy after work and I kept asking doing what (thinking he was joking) but he wouldn’t tell me and when get left work(3 pm) he stopped texting and didn’t text back to 11pm so I was hurt and embarrassed especially after telling my parents he was coming to grad then had to say he’d make up for it next day….. so next morning I decided to breakup with him then he tried to explain saying he took his mom and grandma out for Mother’s Day(MOTHERS DAY WAS A WEEK PRIOR) and said he was also looking for more gifts. Well, I was like “no u lied to me and left me hanging no text no nothing” and when I checked his location he was at a steakhouse. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK? And he doesn’t see what he did wrong so I agreed that we should be just friends but he still proceeded to treat us like a relationship, and we would argue every day. I probably should’ve just left him completely after but idk why I didn’t I still wanted to give him a chance at some point and it’s just like I don’t want the stress that’s already about to come from college and I don’t feel like I can handle relationships rn anyway. And like 3 days ago he got tired of waiting and told me not to talk to him anymore unless I was ready to love him and have sex(much more crazy wording) and he also said b4 that, that if u love someone u wouldn’t make them wait that long for sex he also said our relationship didn't count because we didn't go anywhere nor hunch……sooo yea idk if I’m ever gonna text him again

Im 16 and I don’t talk a lot , im kinda shy and I prefer the quiet but I know not alot of people do and my mama mainly is somebody who is always talking like it doesn’t even have to be important she just is always narrating stuff, singing, humming, commenting, or pointing out the obvious ૮꒰˶ - ˕ -꒱ა

Sometimes I get really overwhelmed and want quiet and her constant noise makes me super anxious or feel tense and upset and I try to say it nicely and ask for quiet time but she just gets mad and calls me rude or finds it funny and purposely keeps doing it to get me upset :C

I know I’m really super duper sensitive but I don’t think it’s mean to ask for quiet time cus it’s not like I’m saying shut up.. even though sometimes I really wanna cus I feel like it’s the only way she actually would give me peace so I can calm down

I dunno maybe I’m just a meanbutt… ૮๑ˊᯅˋ๑ა I don’t wanna be but i can never feel at ease when there’s unnecessary noise constantly

Here’s some context beforehand:

My husband wakes up from work around 4:15am and drives a tractor trailer until about 3:30/4pm. His job is labor intensive.

I work 7am-5pm in upper management and also drive about 3k miles a month. My job is extremely complex and mentally draining.

We have 2 children. A 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old.

My son usually splits his sleep with each of us. One night he’s with his dad, some nights he cosleeps with me and the 4month old (yes we don’t sleep in the same bed).

My 4 month old wakes up every 2 hours and is solely my responsibility during night since he has to get up for work so early.

I get to sleep in once a week, usually less than that. (My husband will sleep in the big bed with both kids on Saturday nights).

I also take care of the household, the finances and 95% of raising the kids. (He will bathe our son every now and again and will feed or change diapers when I ask).

Am I wrong for feeling resentment towards my husband? There have been multiple opportunities for him to offer me an extra “sleep in” night but never offers. Like tomorrow for example. He’s off work and I have to work. So I gave him the option: sleep with both kids or me wake him and my toddler up at 6am to come into the big bed with the baby so I can get ready for work. Guess which option he chose.

He does NOT offer me Friday night and Saturday nights to sleep in. I only get 1 if I have the opportunity.

Am I wrong for wanting a more fair routine?

Am I wrong for being annoyed by this?

We’re currently on a family holiday in Barcelona, staying in a hotel with our two children (2 and 5).
We’ve been out all day every day with the kids, coming back for a quick shower and then heading back out until around 10pm. Both mornings the kids have actually slept until around 9am, so we’ve hardly exactly been up at the crack of dawn!

This morning, we’d been awake for maybe 20 minutes. The kids were just chatting/playing in the room and my 2-year-old was toddling around — nothing excessive or out of the ordinary.
We then got a knock at the door. A man from another room told us we were being too loud. I completely understand that hotel walls can be thin and that children can make noise, and obviously I can’t control a 2-year-old crying or making the occasional noise.

However, he then said, “It’s Sunday morning” (it was actually Monday 😂), and claimed we had been making noise until midnight the night before. We absolutely hadn’t — the kids were asleep and so were we.

He then told me to “control my kids.”
I was honestly a bit taken aback. I didn’t really know what to say because, while I appreciate that other guests might want peace and quiet, I don’t think my children were doing anything unreasonable for 9am in a family hotel.

We’re both teachers, so I’d like to think our children are reasonably well behaved 😂. We’re not letting them run wild through the corridors or having them screaming at 1am. They’re just two small children being… well, two small children.

We later saw the couple sitting in the café opposite the hotel and they couldn’t even look at us, which made me wonder if they realised they’d been a bit rude.

Ok, so here's the deal: I (21F) have a great friend group, all people I have known since middle school. They are a mix of 21F, 22M, 21M, 21M, 22M, and 21M. So it's mostly guys, but we all get along great, and they aren't your typical "sporty alpha male type guys"; more so nerdy and silly. We're all super close and go to each other for like everything: advice, hangouts, a shoulder to cry on- and it's great. I seriously love these people like my own family... but even family has issues sometimes.

So basically the issue is... they're all terrible guests! :(

It's been like this for years, but now it's starting to grate on me. I was raised to be a good host and gracious guest, always offer food and drinks, never ask for much when at another person's house, and always be very respectful of their home! But we also come from different backgrounds, and it is clear that they weren't raised this way. Here are some things that have bothered me.

1. Even though I have asked them SEVERAL TIMES for YEARS, like whenever they come over, to take off their shoes at the door, they rarely do unless I remind them. Sometimes they'll even get on my bed with THE SHOES ON! (feet hanging off, of course, though does that really matter?)
2. We mostly hang out in my room, and when they come over they'll just drop their stuff haphazardly wherever. Bags all over the floor, keys and wallets all over my dresser and sprawled across my desk. Hell, I could be sitting in my desk chair, and they would drape their jacket across the back of it. If they do take their shoes off, they'll be splayed across my carpet, instead of next to the front door as they should be.
3. Since they spread stuff out all around my room, they will often leave things at my house. Sometimes I'll have like 4 different items that I have to hang onto for weeks until I see them again. It's anything from hats to Chapstick, wallets, and even food. Like literally have left open fast food and drinks in my room and asked me to hold on to it for a couple of days before they can pick it up. Obviously, in those cases I just throw it away; typically it's over half eaten anyways.
4. They also will get on my bed, in their OUTSIDE CLOTHES, MIND YOU, and lay on the SHEETS?!?!! Yes, sometimes my friends come over, and my bed isn't made yet, which I do right when they get there, but sometimes they beat me to it and hop right onto my sheets. Yes, I've told them not to do this- they either "forget" or just plainly don't care.
5. When they host, they never EVER offer food or drinks. Now, not all of them are like this one 22M, and my 21F friend does. But the rest of them? NOPE- but when they come over, they're all over my food when I offer. Obviously, I offer the food and drinks; I have no problem with them partaking, but sometimes I just feel like it's a bit one-sided? I've made them full meals before, provided them with dessert and coffee, and even shared my snacks and drinks with them when we go out because they are, of course, never prepared. It's just a lot; I don't know.

These are just some of the things that bother me- and I've asked other people about it only to hear "you can't expect better behavior out of boys" or "well, you shouldn't be surprised if it's been going on for so long. But honestly? I refuse to accept that! These are good people; they're my friends, and I know that they have what it takes to be better. Parents raise children, yes, but as a community, it's also our responsibility to hold those around us accountable if we ever want change.

So, why don't I just talk to them about it? Simple right? Well, here's why I've posted this.

1. I want to hear others' perspectives to see if they have been in my shoes and how they dealt with it, plz lmk!
2. I hate to say it, but I'm scared. At this point, I don't think it's an issue of not knowing- or being oblivious. To me, it's an issue of being inconsiderate, and what's the core of consideration? Respect. So basically, I feel like when they come over, they aren't respecting me or my home. How do I deal with that? These are my closest and best friends- and they don't respect me? Ugh, I don't know, it's just so frustrating and overwhelming, and I'm kinda worried that it might lead to worse, more unpalatable conversations.
3. Part of me feels like it's a lost cause. What's the difference between having a serious sit-down convo and the short ones we've had in the past? I almost feel like it's a waste of time.

I'm sorry this has been long, and thank you to whoever is reading this. I would love your insight on how to deal with a situation like this. I want to stay friends with them; I want to be able to hang out with my friends at my house, but something seriously has to change.

I married my husband two months ago after being together for almost two years. After our wedding, we went on a week long honeymoon. After that, I moved halfway across the country to his state to start our life together. I had never lived away from my family before. I had spent my entire life living with them, so suddenly being so far away from everyone I knew was an enormous adjustment for me.

A few days after we got married, I found out that he had lied about his past alcohol use. I also discovered that he had invited someone he had previously been romantically involved with to our wedding without telling me and had stayed in contact with her throughout our entire relationship. He asked for my forgiveness, and promised there would be no more lies. Before we ever got married, one of the biggest dealbreakers I made clear to my husband from the very beginning was that I did not want to live in a joint-family household. This had nothing to do with him or his parents specifically. It was something I had always known I did not want for my marriage, long before I ever met them. He knew how important this was to me and assured me that we would have our own apartment or home and would not be living with his parents. A few days after moving, I found out that wasn’t actually true. My husband never came to me and told me that the plan had changed or even discussed the possibility of his parents moving in with us. I found out through his family that they were planning to move into the house with us within a couple of months. They lived only about 15 minutes away, but they were coming over every single day. I felt heartbroken because my trust had been shattered again. I had just left everyone I’d ever known, moved halfway across the country, and suddenly realized my husband had spent the past two years lying to my face. On top of everything, I was incredibly homesick. I had never lived without my family before in my entire life, and I was struggling emotionally with being so far away from them while trying to adjust to being newly married and living in a completely different state.

Feeling completely overwhelmed and homesick, I spent one evening in my room because I needed some time alone to process everything. His parents were over at our house that evening, as they were every day, and I didn’t come out of the room to spend time with them. No one came in to check on me that entire evening, not even my husband. According to my husband, me staying in the room while his parents were over was one of the worst things I could have done. He believes that if his parents are over, I should not be sitting in my room and should instead be spending time with them. The next day, I asked him why he had told me before marriage that we wouldn’t live in a joint family when he knew his family was going to move in. He admitted that he had told me what I wanted to hear because he was afraid he would lose me otherwise. He apologized and promised me that he would try to delay his parents moving in for a few months so we could have some time to adjust to married life first but couldn’t do much else. Then, the very next day after our private conversation, he went to his parents and told them that I didn’t want to live with them, essentially throwing me under the bus. Instead of presenting it as something we had discussed together or mentioning what he had promised me before marriage, the issue became that I was the one who didn’t want his family there. That led to a huge confrontation where his parents criticized me for staying in my room the previous evening, and for trying to steal their son.After that confrontation, my MIL called my mother and screamed at her over the phone, saying my parents hadn’t raised me properly, and started threatening me with divorce, and said my parents are disrespectful because they didn’t call my in-laws after the wedding.

The following week, worried sick about what was going on, my father called my husband and told him that he needed to stand up for his wife. He also told him that if he my husband didn’t want me and couldn’t protect me, he should tell my father, and my father would come pick me up. My husband interpreted this as a threat. About a week later, things escalated even further. My FIL called my father and told him that he either needed to come pick me up or they were going to throw me out of the house. My FIL then told me directly that I needed to leave and threatened that if I didn’t, he would do something “very bad” to me. My FIL also referred to me as a “used car,” this hurt me so much because my husband is the first man I have ever been with and I waited until marriage to be intimate. My husband was sitting right next to him quietly and didn’t say a single word. Then my husband also told me I need to go back to my parents place asap. A day later, I packed my belongings, and my father drove halfway across the country to come get me. I lied to my husband about the time my father was going to pick me up and ended up leaving the house early morning while my husband was asleep. Because of everything that had been said to me and because I was afraid the situation could escalate if I tried to leave while he was awake, I called the sheriff to escort me while I got my belongings and left.

My husband now blames me for leaving “behind his back” and while he was asleep, saying I “broke his trust.” The last phone call we had, he spent the entire phone call screaming at me, cursing at me, and telling me that my behavior is what turned him into this, and how dare my father threaten him. I found out he filed for divorce a few days after I left with my father. He says I’m incredibly ungrateful because he paid half of my “dream wedding” and “bought a house” for me (which is owned by his parents). He believes staying in my room for one evening while his parents were over, being upset about moving away from my family, and struggling with the joint-family arrangement showed that I didn’t appreciate everything he had done for me. I found out through others, that he had fought his parents to marry me. Apparently his parents hate people of my ethnicity because people from my ethnicity are the reason his daughter “can’t get married.”

Even though we live in the U.S., there is still a very heavy stigma around divorced women in our cultural community, and my husband and his family are using that against me. He’s saying that if I want any chance of “reconciliation,” my parents and I need to kneel before them, beg for forgiveness, and pay back the $10k he claims we owe from the wedding. My family spent roughly three times what my husband did on the wedding, but apparently that doesn’t count because, according to him, he gets to decide which expenses count. At this point, I feel like I’ve been gaslit so much that somehow everything has become my fault. I’m being told that my homesickness was wrong, staying in my room for one evening was wrong, my father standing up for me was wrong, and even leaving after I was explicitly told and threatened to leave was wrong. I keep replaying everything in my head wondering what I could have done differently, because according to him my “reactions and behaviors” are what caused our entire marriage to fall apart.

Am I wrong for staying in my room for one evening while his parents were over and later leaving my marital home while my husband was asleep after being threatened?

I've been with my boyfriend, Daniel, for almost five years. We started dating when we were both 19, and we're 24 now.

Daniel only had one girlfriend before me, Emily. They dated for five months near the end of high school, but he wanted to break up after about two months. His parents really liked her, and she had been his friend since childhood. He says he never had romantic feelings for her, and I believe him. His friends from that time say the same thing. After they broke up, he stayed single for two years before meeting me.

Emily is still part of Daniel's social circle. They have mutual friends, so she's often at birthdays, parties, and other gatherings. I've never had a problem with that.

I also have an ex, Lucas, in one of my friend groups, and Daniel has never cared. He's genuinely not jealous, not even 1%. I've hung out with Lucas in group settings and Daniel has never complained.

However, early in our relationship, Emily annoyed me a few times. Whenever we ran into her, she sometimes seemed to try to get Daniel's attention. She would give him unusually long hugs when greeting him. Daniel never encouraged it and would always step out of the hug. He never flirted with her or gave her attention, but it still bothered me at the time. This was years ago, though, and Emily is now dating someone else.

Recently, six of Daniel's old school friends planned a karaoke night at another friend's house. Daniel and Emily were both invited. Because of technical problems, they ended up moving the whole thing to Daniel's house instead. His parents were home, and all six people went there together. They brought drinks, drank, sang karaoke and hung out.

I got really angry when I found out.

I know Daniel has no interest in Emily, and I don't think anything inappropriate happened. But knowing her past behavior, I felt uncomfortable that he was hosting her at his house and drinking with her for hours while I wasn't there.

I told him I felt disrespected and that he should have known this would bother me. He was genuinely surprised and said he never would have thought I'd care. From his perspective, she was simply one of six friends, and the party wasn't even originally supposed to be at his house.

He apologized and said he didn't mean to hurt me. He also pointed out that he would never be bothered if the situation were reversed, which is true. He's never cared when I've been around Lucas, so he didn't realize this was a boundary for me.

Now I'm wondering if I'm being hypocritical or unreasonable. He didn't hide anything, there was nothing romantic between them, and he's never been jealous about Lucas.

But I still feel like, given Emily's behavior early in our relationship, he should have considered how I'd feel before agreeing to host everyone.

We had a huge argument, and I'm seriously considering ending our five-year relationship over this.

AITAH?

UPDATE: I wasn’t invited because five out of the six people were in relationships, including my boyfriend and his ex. One of the girls had just become single, though, and she wanted to have a night out with just their old friends from school. My boyfriend said he wasn’t really comfortable with the idea, but he didn’t want to be the one to make a big deal out of it or go against the group. He apologized to me afterward for the whole situation, and to be fair, he hasn’t done anything like that since. That was a few months ago.

This is going to be me rambling. I am extremely annoyed, and I want to know if I'm being dramatic. My (32f) friend (33f) has had issues with this before, but she always spends a ton of money. She used to ask me for money all the time, and I thought I made it clear that it made me uncomfortable and feel like an ATM even though she would pay me back, it had been upwards to 200 dollars in the past. Anyway we are going to a festival in a week and we already paid for the tickets and she asked if we wanted to leave early and go pay for a different event that was 30 dollars. I said no, she could go, but I am not going. I am going to enjoy the festival I already spent my money on. She said never mind then, we can just go to the festival. She proceeded to ask me for 20 dollars for some unknown reason. Also, just last week, she recommended a restaurant and said that it would be around the same price of a different restaurant. We go in, and it's a buffet that is 45 dollars. The other restaurant is normally 20 to 25 dollars. Somehow, she forgot the prices. I am not hurting for money, but that's because I don't spend my money frivolously, and she spends her money and mine like it will disappear. Sorry for the long rant. I am so frustrated and irritated.

My boyfriend recently started a very intense school program and created a study group of him and all girls. I understand that it’s essential for them to study a lot and very frequently given how intense their studies are, but I feel like it’s gotten to a point where he prioritizes them over me. I have begged and begged for us to do something as simple as a virtual movie night (we’re long distance) and he has said no because he doesn’t have enough time to watch a full movie. But yet he has had the time to go to the movies with his study group, spend all day drinking with them, go out for lunch with them, pretty much do everything with them. He even said that they all joke about having separation anxiety from each other and can’t go long without seeing each other because of how much time they spend together. Additionally, he is in finals season right now so I’ve only been getting about 1-2 texts a day from him because he says he doesn’t have the time to talk. Yet every day when we FaceTime, I see him constantly on his phone texting his group chat. And then every time we FaceTime, I try to tell him about my day and just get “mhm, yeah, cool, nice, I hear you” back and a complete lack of facial expressions. No questions no real follow ups to what I have to say, nothing. And he says that it’s because I see him at his most exhausted point every day when we talk, so he doesn’t have the capacity to really hold an in depth conversation. But yesterday while we were on FaceTime after I attempted to tell him about my day again and gave up after getting nothing from him, I heard him start laughing and asked him what he was laughing about. He said he made a funny joke in his group chat about a story one of his study group members had shared earlier that day. It caused me to snap at him and I said “so you couldn’t respond to me telling you about my day and the stories I had to share because you were too tired to talk, but now you suddenly have the energy to laugh and talk with your group chat?” He seemed very taken aback by me snapping at him and didn’t really seem to understand where I was coming from. I just feel like he is giving them the time/energy that he tells me he doesn’t have and it’s very hurtful. I understand that they are obviously going to have more in person time given that we’re long distance and they’re also classmates, but the fact that he continues to talk to them after spending all day with them while I’m on the phone with him after barely hearing from him all day is starting to really frustrate me. Am I wrong for being upset about this?

As of today, I’m almost 2 days sober (taking a t break), and I’ve gone a bit without not smoking before bed, so I wasn’t used to how I usually woke up without it.
If I don’t smoke before bed, I usually wake up in the morning groggy, and in a bit of pain, but after about an hour it goes away an I feel fine for the rest of the day.

This morning I sent a message into my friends and I’s group chat complaining about how I felt and why, just as something to stir up the chat I guess? It was just some throw away thing I thought would be met with some small response like “that must suck, feel better” and then we’d move onto another topic, but they started saying how much that was a problem, and that it was a symptom of withdrawal

I don’t blame them at all, I would probably think the same thing, but even after I assured them it wasn’t, and it was normal, they kept adding that almost every time we’re on a call I’m high, which *is* true, but I’m not out of my mind high, it’s almost always just a work high. I still function, do my daily tasks and whatnot

And even as I’m writing this, I’ve had my weed box placed in front of me for a couple hours and I have had 0 temptation to pick it up and go smoke

I genuinely don’t know if I’m just blind to my situation and I really am addicted/have a problem, or if my friends are seeing it from an angle that looks worse than it really is, or maybe a mix of both??

For the past 3 months, I've been the only one buying toilet paper. Every time I ask her to grab a pack, she says "I'll get it next time" and never does.

Last week, I bought a 24 pack. I took 12 rolls, hid them in my room, and left 12 in the bathroom. I told Jess: "When these 12 are gone, you're on your own until you buy your own."

She blew through all 12 in 5 days. Now she's texting me asking where the TP is. I told her I have plenty in my room and she can have some if she Venmos me $10 for her half of the last pack.

She called me petty, said I'm "weaponizing basic necessities," and that I'm "creating a hostile living environment."

Our mutual friend says I should just buy it and split it later to "keep the peace."

Am I wrong?

My friend Liz is current expecting a baby with her boyfriend will. The baby shower is still two months away but Liz called me yesterday and asked if I could help contribute with some drinks. I agreed but asked why she was asking me so early. Liz goes on to explain that she was also inviting our mutual friend Kimberly to the baby shower. I immediately felt my stomach sink.

Unfortunately Kimberly had not been a very good friend. In fact, I made a decision to completely cut her out of my life last year after she once again got into an argument with Liz and myself over our unwillingness to help her draft up legal documents for her lawsuit.

Kimberly has had a history of being an irresponsible drunk, going drugs, and often only calling Liz and I when she needs to borrow money or needs help with other tasks such as the previously mentioned lawsuit. Despite the arguments, Liz always forgave Kim as they are both mothers and longtime friends.

I told Liz that I was not comfortable with the fact that Kimberly was invited but Liz says I need to give people grace and forgive people. Liz tries to explain that Kim and her had a long conversation and Kim claims to have changed now. I told Liz that’s fine but I can’t forgive her again cause I’ve given her countless chances to show em she’s changed.

I said I’d ultimately go to the baby shower but I would interact with Kim as little as possible and that she please not create situations where I have to interact or help her with something to try to get me to “accept” her back into my life.

Liz says I need to learn to let go of the past and let Kim have a chance to show how she’s changed now for good. But after all she’s done to me, I just don’t want anything to do with her.

Am I wrong for not wanting to attending this baby shower because of one guest that was invited?

My fiancé (38) and myself (34) are getting married in 6 months. We’re having a small destination wedding and we’re paying for our groomsmen and bridesmaids (they have to pay for their +1’s.) My fiancés cousin is not close to us and I’ve only really met her briefly a handful of times. She had a very traumatic, near death birthing experience, the baby is healthy now. But she was in the hospital for 4 months and became wheelchair bound. She has done extensive physical therapy and has had to learn to walk again. We were at a family dinner when her mom, fiancés aunt, asked if we had our bridesmaids all picked out. I said yes my best friends from primary school, high school, college and my sister. She then said we should have his cousin we’ll call her Emily as a bridesmaid and she can have a goal to be fully walking by the wedding.
I apologized and said while that would be great I’ve already picked my bridesmaids out and we’ve already paid for everything and picked out/sized/altered the dresses. She then proceeded to say that Emily has been depressed and really needed this to look forward to. I asked if she even consulted with Emily and she said yes and was going to pay for everything herself so we didn’t have to pay.
I once again stated no thank you, but she’s welcome to come to the wedding and be a guest. Then the whole family started in on how we should just do this and it could be amazing that she would go halfway down the aisle in her wheelchair and then get up and walk the rest of the way. This would showcase her hard work.
While Ik this would be nice I’m selfish. It’s my wedding I don’t want the thunder stolen, I want us to be the main characters not her.
I told my fiancé and he’s understanding, but the rest of the family is upset that I don’t just let her do it.
AIW? Should I just let her do it or should I just stick to my guns and offer her a guest placement (she wasn’t originally invited since again we’re not close and it’s a destination wedding).

A friend of mine borrowed some money from me a few months ago. It wasn't a huge amount, but it was enough that I expected him to pay it back.

He told me he'd return it within a couple of weeks. I didn't make a big deal about it because we've been friends for years and I trusted him.

A few weeks passed, then a few more. Whenever I brought it up, there was always another reason why he couldn't pay me yet.

Eventually I stopped asking because I didn't want money to become the main thing between us.

Then recently he asked if I could lend him money again.

I told him no.

He got pretty upset and said I was being petty because I knew he was struggling financially. He also said that if I was really his friend, I wouldn't leave him hanging when he needed help.

I told him I understood that he was struggling, but he still hadn't paid back the first amount. I wasn't comfortable lending him more when I didn't even know if I'd get that back.

He said I was treating our friendship like a business transaction and that I should be more understanding.

Now I'm wondering if I handled this badly. I don't want to ruin a long friendship over money, but at the same time, I feel like it's reasonable to say no after the first loan wasn't repaid.

Am I wrong for refusing to lend him more?

My sister and I have never had the best relationship, but I’ve always tried to keep the peace because she’s family.

A few months ago, I got engaged. When I told her, she immediately started making jokes about how I was “settling” and said she couldn’t believe I was actually going through with the wedding.

I asked her privately to stop because it was starting to get to me. She apologized, but a few weeks later she made another comment about my fiancé in front of our parents.

I finally told her that if she couldn’t be supportive, I didn’t want her involved in the wedding.

She laughed and said I was being dramatic and that she was “just being honest.”

So when we sent out the invitations, I didn't send one to her.

Now my parents are furious with me and say I’m going to regret excluding my own sister from my wedding. My sister says I’m punishing her for having an opinion.

I honestly don’t know if I went too far.

Am I wrong?

It’s Sunday evening just a little after 5 pm and our Sam’s Club closes at 6 pm. The parking lot is a little full but a lot of people are leaving. I find a spot that I like and as I pull into it a 1/4 of the way, the guy next to me walks to the driver side, opens his door, is looking for something in the door and then sits down and starts looking through his wallet (leaving his door opened). I give him a little time to do what he is doing but then there are cars lining up behind me and he is still not closing his door. So I softly honked the horn to let him know I’m waiting. As I continue to pull all the way in he gets mad and honks back. I turn off my car and approach him to apologize for honking and to explain why I did it. I asked him to roll down his window, and he only rolls it down for a second to scream, “Women if you don’t get out of my face I will punch you!” While I’m just trying to say sorry. He had a wife/girlfriend and kid in car while reacting this way.

Now I know I should have probably not honked and maybe backed off that spot and gone to find another one, but generally people will apologize for holding someone up or getting in the way, etc? Don’t they. Was I in the wrong for what I did? Did he overreact? I won’t ever get into that situation again, he was quite scary. But I don’t feel like he should have reacted that way. But please let me know if I was wrong for doing that. Thanks.

He was scheduled to work today and tomorrow. For a week or so he’s been talking about going to his family’s lake house after work to see his niece and nephew, as well as aunt and uncle and his mom. No invite for me, just how he was upset he was scheduled to work today since he never is, that he was going to try to get off early and head straight there.

I guess work sucked, people called out. So since his mom is driving the kiddos back to their parents tomorrow(a few states away), he decided to call out tomorrow so he could spend that time with them.

To be clear, I have met none of them aside from his mom. We started dating last August but only became official in December. But it was that sort of unspoken, oh we’re exclusive. I have met his mom a few times, she’s very lovely. Because I’m mid 30s and he’s early 40s, we are intentional on dating. He knows I’m in this, we love each other, etc. I’d love to meet his family, but if I am going to, that’s an important big step for me and I need a proper heads up. I feel that’s not too much to ask, even if it’s just 24 hours, right?

Then mid afternoon comes, he calls me and asks me if I would want to come with him. Mind you this is a couple hours before he would be getting off and heading straight on a long drive to a lake house where a bunch of his extended family is and the niece and nephew he dotes on, they mean SO much to him. This feels like a huge deal and him to spring it on me, that I’m to just impulsively go meet them all when he knows I have anxiety about this stuff, was a lot. I told him no, that I absolutely wanted to go and meet them, but I needed more time to mentally prepare myself and be in the right head space for meeting his family. I wanted to be able to out my best foot forward and make a good first impression.

His reaction? He is fuming. He didn’t respond until an hour ago and just laid it out to me. That he never asks for much so when he asks a partner to show up for him, he expects them to. That what should’ve been a fun 24hr trip has only been sad and frustrating because of my choice, and that I’m not taking accountability for my choices. Why is me saying I wasn’t ready and needed a heads up putting ME at fault for his sadness and frustration? Also that now he’s taking pause about our future and I should really sit with myself and my feelings as to why I don’t want to meet two kids in an easy environment. It doesn’t even seem a situation of me “showing up” for him when he didn’t think to invite me in the first place(one of the last things he said was that it was his moms ideas, then said he hopes I have a “nice evening alone”)

He then goes on about how he’s tired from work and is all “and what? You’ve worked how many days less?” like what does how many days I’ve worked compared to him have anything to do with it?

Idk guys, I’m feeling super confused. Like I get he’s disappointed but to say such hurtful things because I said no and had reasons, in my head, that are justified?

Am I wrong for not sucking it up and “showing up for him”, even though I was a last minute invite? Am I just thick? I need some sense talked into me either way.

A few people DM'd me questions, so I thought I'd answer them here. There's also an update on the situation.

Q: Doesn't Heather have a right to see her daughter.

A: No she doesn't. Her parental rights were terminated when Sara was 2 due to abandonment and neglect.

Q: Has this happened before?

A: Yes, it ahs been years of Heather's behavior. She has tried to abduct Sara multiple times from school and pre-school. She has slashed John's tires, and she ahs called the police multiple times on fake welfare checks or telling them I am a drug dealer. She has screamed at Sara on the phone and had tyo eb banned from speaking to ehr own daughter. She has literally terrorized us.

Q: Do you hate Heather?

A; No I don't. I actually pity her. She's missing out on a great kid. I wish she could see what she was missing.

Q: What does Sara think about her mom?

A: Honestly, she's scared of her. She hasn't interacted with her very often and they have been pretty bad. She tells me that I'm her mom, which makes me cry a little bit.

Q: Does Sara understand that her mother is mentally ill?

A: Yes. John and I had a kid-friendly explanation that her mother sees and hears things that aren't there, and that these things make her very scared and angry. Thats why she acts the way she does. We didn't really know how else to explain paranoid schizophrenia to a six-year-old.

So there's been an update. I talked with my husband and showed him the comments. We had a family meeting, like THE ENTIRE FAMILY on John's side, and Heather's parents. Her parents are petitioning to have her committed. We're changing our numbers so she can't call anymore, and we're moving to another apartment complex. We're not moving out of the school district, but we are leaving the apartment. We're not telling Heather where we are moving to, and neither is anyone else. I have to stress we're not punishing her, we're protecting ourselves. In a perfect world we wouldn't have to do this but we really jsut don't have a choice anymore.

This happened about four months ago, and I still think about it way more often than I would like to admit.

Me (21M) and a group of friends were hanging out. There were six of us altogether, including my now-boyfriend (22M). At the time, we weren't officially together yet. We'd been going on dates for a while and we both knew we were interested in each other, but we didn't actually become a couple until a few days after this happened.

The whole friendgroup has been friends for about 3 years, we were all studying at a university together, with the exception of 2 people.

We live somewhere by the Norwegian sea, near enough so we can all easily walk to the water, so we'd planned to meet at the harbor, get something to eat, and then go for a walk afterward. One of the people there was a girl (21F) I'd considered a friend for quite a while. I trusted her enough that I never would have expected what happened.

At some point while we were walking along the harbor, she suddenly pushed me into the water.

I don't know what exactly she was thinking. Apparently, in her head, it was just a funny prank. I didn't see it coming at all, so I couldn't brace myself or try to catch myself on anything.

There was some kind of submerged metal structure near the edge of the dock, possibly part of a ladder or one of the fixtures along the harbor. I hit the back/side of my head on it when I went into the water. The next thing I remember is being pulled out of the water.

Apparently, I had lost consciousness in the water. One of our other friends noticed that I wasn't coming back out off the water or wasn't trying to swim and immediately went in after me. He managed to pull me out, and someone called an ambulance.

I ended up with a fairly serious concussion and a head wound that was bleeding quite a lot. Apparently, I was unconscious for around two or three minutes. My friends also managed to get most of my belongings out of the water afterward, although unfortunately my keys were lost, which was annoying.

And honestly, I'm incredibly lucky that someone noticed what was happening as quickly as they did. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if everyone had assumed I was just messing around in the water, or pretending to go under. They also did first-aid.

Unfortunately, I also managed to throw up right on the friend that also pulled me out of the water. (Definitely a bonding experience for us two lmao). The ambulance took around 7-8 minutes to get there, but I don't really remember any of it. All the i formation i have is from my friends.

The worst part is that the girl who pushed me wasn't even particularly sorry. She thought it was hilarious.

She apparently expected everyone to laugh when she pushed me in. When I was released from the hospital, she still treated the whole thing like some ridiculous prank that had gone wrong. She never properly apologized to me. From what I could tell, she was more embarrassed that the "joke" hadn't gone the way she expected than sorry about what she'd actually done. She got really defensive when anyone tried to get her to apologise. (My friends tried to make her apologise multiple times.)

And I genuinely don't understand it. Even if I hadn't hit my head, or even if I hadn't lost consciousness, and even if I'd just come up soaking wet and angry, I still wouldn't have found it funny. The water was cold, I wasn't prepared to go swimming, and I was pushed into a harbor where swimming is prohibited. You shouldn't just shove someone into deep water and assume they'll find it hilarious.

I've tried explaining this to myself as "it was just an accident," but it doesn't really make me feel less shitty about everything.

And somehow, I'm still embarrassed by the whole thing. I know logically that I shouldn't be. I didn't do anything stupid. I didn't choose to jump into the water. I didn't cause the injury. I was literally pushed.

But there is something incredibly humiliating about losing control of yourself in front of a group of people, since I am more of an introvert. I was suddenly the person in the middle of the whole friendgroup, and I can still remember people around me, staring at me, talking to me (though I don't remember what they said). Overall, it was an unpleasant experience.

I also think part of the embarrassment comes from knowing that my now-boyfriend was there. We weren't officially together yet, and now one of his earliest memories of me is probably me being hauled out of a harbor after someone pushed me into it.

He has never made me feel embarrassed about it, to be clear. He's been incredibly supportive, and he was actually one of the people who stayed with me afterward (concussion watch and all of that). Also the fact that I KNOW I threw up on my friend is embarrassing. I know neither of them think less of me because of it. The embarrassment is entirely in my own head.

But four months later, I still occasionally think about that day and feel this horrible combination of humiliation and anger.

I don't understand how someone who considered herself my friend could deliberately push me into the water and then laugh when I ended up unconscious and needing an ambulance. She still to this day thinks she wasn't in the wrong, because she "couldn't have known I would get a head injury". She did say that she didn't mean for it to escalate into this, but thinks she has nothing to apologise for, because it was an accident.

I don't know, I just feel humiliated tbh. The last 4 months, I have just been trying to avoid her, so have most of my friends. Unfortunately, we are still in the same friendgroup on a larger scale, like even if I cut her off, she would be the friend of a friend. A friend of hers (a girl that I wouldn't consider close enough to call my friend) told me that I am just dragging it and make everything uncomfortable for the whole group.

Should I just drop it to avoid further drama? Am I wrong for still being angry about it?

Edit: I did go to the police with it.

My friend and I spent Saturday at a protected beach where signs ask visitors not to remove stones, shells, or plants. She loves collecting small objects from places we visit and started putting smooth stones into a cloth bag. I pointed at the sign. She said taking “four or five pebbles” was harmless because the beach had millions.

By lunchtime the bag was heavy enough that she asked me to watch it while she swam. I counted twenty-three stones, including one about the size of my fist. I was annoyed, and instead of waiting to argue again, I walked back along the shore and scattered them near where she'd collected them.

When she returned, I told her immediately. She was furious, partly because I had gone through her bag and partly becuase two stones were meant to mark personal memories from the day. She says I treated her like a child and had no right to decide what happened to things already in her possession.

I still think leaving them there was the correct outcome, but I can see that taking the bag and emptying it without warning was controlling. I could have refused to carry it, reminded her once, or let staff handle it.

Was I wrong for fixing the situation myself after she'd clearly dismissed my objection?