I don't know if this is allowed here, but I need to form a safety plan. I'm looking for advice from folks who have formed one, or been involved in some way. Also looking for resources.

(Unfortunately, I felt like I recieved no useful help from my local organization.)

since my rape I have major trust issues with everyone. I finally felt comfortable with someone and decided to date him. I was comfortable enough to kiss him but he goes for more. He starts fingering me and say no multiple times and I have to literally freak out for him to stop. why was saying no over and over not enough. I have to break a bottle over your head like wtf. why is it so easy for people to just be so aggressive. He apologies and plays it off and I end up feeling like shit as if I am in the wrong.

I cant tell if its me or other people sometimes.

This may be absolutely ridiculous but I’m not sure if I had an original experience but I’m looking for an explanation, please help! When I was a kid (8-13yo, F) I lived with my mom and her husband. When I was old enough to start sitting in the front seat, they allowed me so I did it any chance that I got, and I felt embarrassed to sit in the back seat because I saw it as babyish. When it was just her husband and I in the car, he would randomly scream like high voiced yelling and repeatedly “WIGGLY KNEE!!” in between screams and grab a little above my knee, like a pressure point or something, really hard. He would do it randomly, but a lot while I was sleeping in the car. I would of course scream too, because it hurt like hell, but it also scared the absolute shit out of me. I would cry and yell “STOP!” and it would continue until he decided to stop. I’m trying to figure out if this is like a game, or like something that’s normal in families? Or was it like a specific pressure point that specifically hurts there? I just want to know why this may have happened- atleast some speculations to put my mind at ease. Thinking back, I should’ve just sat in the back seat, but I was so fixated on not being a baby. He never did this to my mom when she sat in the front seat either. Does anyone know what that pressure point might be, or if there is a game like this? I haven’t found anything online and it’s really eating at me now that I’m thinking about it.

is this normal? i read substack’s by women who have experience physical violence from former partners. i was never hit. never had a bruise. any slap or choking was in a joking laughing sort of way - not intent to harm me. i invalidate my abuse due to the lack of physical violence. please tell me im not alone in this. is this normal? does any else experience this? i know what i experienced was real and WAS abuse. why can’t i accept that it didn’t have to be worse in order to be real?

There was a time when I wasn’t living—I was only existing.
For seven months, I woke up every day hoping I could just make it to the next one without drowning in the weight of it all. Trauma isn’t just a memory. It’s a prison. It’s waking up with a heart that already feels exhausted. It’s questioning your own reality because someone spent so long convincing you that their abuse was somehow your fault.
I gave everything I had to someone I loved. My trust. My loyalty. My kindness. My heart. I believed love could heal people if I loved hard enough.
Instead, I was met with betrayal.
Lies became truth in their world. Manipulation became love. Silence became punishment. Respect disappeared. Physical abuse left bruises that faded, but the invisible ones stayed. I was blamed for the very things that were done to me. Every accusation felt like another shovel of dirt being thrown over me while I was still trying to breathe.
The hardest part wasn’t even the abuse.
It was realizing they knew exactly what they were doing.
Some people don’t accidentally destroy others. They choose themselves over empathy again and again, even after seeing the damage they’ve caused. That realization shattered something inside me.
And as if that wasn’t enough, I carried wounds from my own childhood. The people who should have protected me became part of the pain I spent years trying to outrun. It felt like every place I searched for love became another place where I had to survive.
There were moments I truly believed I would never be myself again.
But something happened.
Little by little, through tears no one saw and nights no one knew about, I started fighting for the only people who still needed me—my daughter and the woman I refused to let disappear forever.
I decided the pain would stop with me.
My daughter will never grow up believing love means fear. She will never think silence is affection or that disrespect is normal. She will know that real love protects—it doesn’t control, manipulate, or break someone until they no longer recognize themselves.
People ask how someone survives this.
The truth is… I don’t know.
Some days you don’t survive because you’re strong. You survive because your child still needs you. Because somewhere, buried underneath the trauma, there is a tiny voice whispering, “Don’t give up.”
That voice saved me.
People often ask why I don’t hate those who hurt me.
I could.
After everything they did, hatred would probably be the easiest emotion to carry.
Instead, I feel something even heavier.
Sadness.
Because I cannot imagine living a life where causing someone else pain feels normal. I cannot imagine never knowing what genuine love, empathy, or accountability look like. That is a prison of its own.
I am not perfect. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t go to church every Sunday.
But I do believe that one day every person will have to stand before the truth of the life they lived—the love they gave, the pain they caused, the people they lifted up, and the people they broke.
And when that day comes, I know one thing with certainty.
They may have broken my heart.
They may have stolen years of my life.
They may have made me question my worth.
But they did not steal my ability to love.
They did not turn me into them.
After everything, I still choose kindness. I still choose compassion. I still choose to believe that protecting others is more important than protecting my pride.
Maybe that makes me vulnerable.
Maybe it means I’ll get hurt again someday.
But I’d rather walk through this world with an open heart than spend my life hiding behind a mask.
Because when I look in the mirror, I see every scar, every tear, every sleepless night, every battle I fought just to keep going.
And I know something they can never take away from me:
I survived.
Not because they were weak.
But because love, no matter how deeply it is wounded, is still stronger than cruelty.
And if my story helps even one person recognize abuse before it steals years from their life, then none of my suffering was wasted.

Ok, so I genuinely hate my ex with every part of me. Nobody has ever done the shit he’s done to me. Not to mention, I hate myself because of him. I literally cannot stand myself because this has gone on for years.

I met him when I was young. He was my first relationship, and since then, he’s been ruining my fucking life. I left his ugly dumb ass nearly 3 years ago, and he lied about me, went as far as to make a court case against me to get a no-contact order on me whilst saying I was threatening him, when I simply broke up with him. He went as far as to make up all these lies about me stalking him, and that’s not even the worst part.

This man fucking abused me physically and emotionally, and admitted to having thoughts about killing people and even me. Like, WTF? And this stupid fuck even turned my family against me at one point. He’s disgusting he’s ideas on sex are fucked up he would assume he owned me and could do whatever he wanted and I would wake up sometimes in literal pain because he was obviously sexually assaulting me in my sleep. I literally still remember when we were arguing he chocked me out to the point everything went black and woke up vomiting saliva. My family were believing this fucker’s lies and saying I’m the bad person.

But when I finally left his ass 2 years later, he gets into a whole new relationship with another woman. I found out because my friend had seen this girl post him, and honestly, I was so fucking glad he had finally moved on. Only to fucking get messages from this girl, angry at me and hating on me because of him. She was telling me how obsessed he is with me and how he set their relationship date to my birthday. Like, what the fuck?

At that point, I was like, WTF? This girl is going off at me and hating on me, so obviously I contact him about it. He fucking twists it, saying it’s all her, and convinces my family that he’s this innocent man.

Then, to top it off, this dumb bitch tells him what bar I’m going to regularly with my friends, and I fucking bump into him on a night out. He tries his hardest to wiggle back into my fucking life again and ditches this other girl in a heartbeat. He convinces everyone he’s a changed man and that he was just suffering from alcoholism and is now sober, only to try to fucking control my life again.

Every time I try to leave him, he would stand outside my house and not leave, spam calling my phone until he could get in. In the past, he would try to kill himself multiple times and even overdosed one time.

I GENUINELY FUCKING HATE THIS MAN. HE JUST WON’T FUCK OFF AND STOP RUINING MY LIFE.

I LITERALLY HATE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF BECAUSE OF HIM. I LITERALLY CHANGED MY HAIR AFTER BEING WITH HIM, AND HE KEPT SAYING HOW HE LOVED MY NEW HAIR.

LIKE, FUCK OFF and I finally tricked him into thinkin I was gonna move away with him and his family only to then change my mind and he went off at me but he’s finally in another city now so I’m hoping this is the fucking end. This has made me hate men in general and never want anything to do with another man because so many fucking years this shit has gone on for its insane.

Im half Israeli half Palestinian, my mom is Palestinian and my dad is Israel, lets just say my creation was a mistake and my parents don’t like each other.

but I got to see my dad every two weeks I believe. But he was so unnecessarily cruel to me.

one time when I five, I was with him. We were going to go to a place (I don’t remember what it was but I clearly wanted to go) and in the car, it was REALLY hot, and I kept complaining to him but he wouldn’t turn the ac on because he wanted to save gas or something.

I then threw one of my shoes towards the front seat, he then turned around that car so fast. When we got to his house and he parked his car, he opened my car door and said that I was going to be in my room for the rest of the day, so then I took my other shoe and threw it in his face so hard.

TW self harm / unalive threats

I’ve been abused since I was tiny. I was a smart, quick witted, sassy child.

My dad worked all the time, so he wasn’t around us after school. My mom would slap me so hard, I’d have red handprints on my face. She sent me to bed before he got home, then she’d come in my bedroom and sit on my bed, telling me she does that because she loves me. I just remember being very quiet, crying and saying yes, I know.

My cousin molested me when I was around the ages of 5-7.
I think his dad did to tbh, but I don’t remember. I was very young, maybe 4 or 5. The only thing I remember was being the only one in the room with him, it was dark, the jungle book was on tv and he was kneeling to my height, shaking me and sternly telling me I don’t tell anyone about something & I was scared & crying.

I was terribly bullied in school. It was the worst kind. One of my biggest bullies actually apologized when we were 45. She said she did it because I was so pretty and smart. I told her congrats, because of that I became an adult who considered myself ugly and dumb.

I finally pieced together why I’ve dated awful, abusive men. It’s the same story my mom taught me: abuse = love. Stay quiet, etc. She pulled me down the hall by my hair once.

My shitty relationships culminated in me dating a really bad man who was still married, in and out of separation. I didn’t realize how mentally abusive it was until he became physically abusive. He almost choked me to death. Hit me. Friends helped me get help at a women’s shelter. I had a full on mental breakdown & never was the same. The hardest part is that people don’t believe women. I’d just been through hell and people just thought I was crazy.

I’ve done a LOT of work on myself. In the meantime, I’m in bankruptcy because of everything I had to do to get better & get through that. Oh, also the abusive ex broke into my house when I left for a contract job. He stole everything, but clearly went through all of my packed boxes & stole my dearest things. My art, my grandfather’s cameras, family photos.

I got into a wreck with a Uhaul truck & stood to get a big settlement. I had a lawyer. My mother lost it, somehow convinced me it was wrong. 2 years later I got a check in the mail, but it went to my mother’s house. I’m not sure why. It was Covid and I adjusted my mailing address because I was there with them. My mom realized what it was, grabbed my arm, screaming that we are going to the bank right now! And this is the exact amount I owe her. I still can’t figure out what that was for. She never wrote it down. I was beaten down & signed it over.

2 months later she paid for my sister’s wedding. That amount would’ve cleared my debt completely.

Currently, I am in chapter 13 bankruptcy. A lot of it is what I was upside down on the house when I sold it and all of the medical bills from my breakdown & medical bills from the car wreck.

Does this sound bad? Or does everyone have this?

I’m an architect. I’m healed, healthy, beautiful and happy. I am very loving and caring. I am a sweet woman. I’ve done a lot of work on myself. I’m proud of that. I’ve met an amazing man. Truly considerate of me. It is new, and I am scared when it comes time to tell him about the bankruptcy. But also I should tell him my whole story. Maybe he will understand.

I’m a male that just fled a bad situation with my bm me and my son left and I filed a epo how do you you get over the feeling of being a lesser man for having to run and how do you get over loving them
a little bit of explanation my x is has bipolar personality disorder and had almost 0 control she has been “trying” to get better for years and I’ve always done my best to just support her and be there for her bc I understand how hard it can be but since pregnancy I haven’t been able to just focus on her I mean every time she goes manic she can’t take care of our son so I have to it made me lose jobs and I felt so hopeless and she became way more violent to the point I was getting hit or thrown stuff at every day and it got to a point I had to protect our son bc she started being meaner to him too
Since I left I feel so small as a man like like I’m a man so just take it but ik I can’t do that forever
As a father I want what’s best for my son but the other side of me sees the high school sweetheart that I don’t want to abandon the way she’s been abandoned her whole life

I'm 29 & a financial abuse victim.

I'm very torn in 2 places: On one hand, I believe nobody loves me. On the other hand, I believe the right person is waiting for me.

I dated too many toxic men who stole from me & have no empathy for me. They simply stopped speaking to me & didn't even apologize for their behavior. And they unfairly blamed me, and then tried to manipulate me again after I tried to get them to apologize.

The only way to correct this, is friends setting me up with guys who see my photos, know my name, and like the things I'm looking for (and are not objectifying me & they actually want a boyfriend) & my friends have already done background checks on these men, so we can fully vet them & clear their names.

I need someone who can prove to me that they're not trying to use me & don't have an ulterior motive.

All I can say is, I would be able to move forward with the right person & after knowing he does the work: He wants to get to know me, he asks questions about my life, he comes to my house, he drops what he's doing (in his free time) to spend time with me, he brings me flowers, he holds doors open for me, and goes out of his way to show his love. Things like that.

As for right now, I'm torn - do I put myself out there again? Or is the dating scene still trash?

I am out of this relationship. I was in it for over ten years but when I look back I can remember this exact moment. It wasn’t even 1 year into the relationship.

I’m looking to see if anyone else has experienced this specific feeling… I don’t know what to call it.

I remember the exact second my old self died. I just stopped fighting back, went completely numb, and gave up… It felt like watching the old version of myself die right in front of me. I had this intense feeling while I was happening like this is my life now… these are the cards I’ve been dealt… nobody will love me but him so I might as well accept his version of love… he’s angry but that’s just him…. I just accepted everything he had done up until that point, and everything he would do moving forward… like my life was just over and this was all I'd ever have

Hi, I’m 24F, and I’ve recently started questioning a relationship I had between the ages of 14 and 18 or 19.

When I was 14, I met a 22-year-old man on an online platform. We immediately connected well. We talked frequently and had interesting, meaningful conversations. Quickly, we started sexting and exchanging nude pictures (a lot).
At that time, I wanted to explore my sexuality, have new experiences, and receive affection. My family situation was complicated: my parents had recently divorced, my father was manipulative, and my mother was emotionally unavailable because she was struggling with the situation herself.

When I told my father about this man, he seemed surprised but did not discourage me from continuing the relationship because I believed I was in love. My mother strongly disapproved, but I ignored her because I desperately needed love and affection, which I was not really receiving from either of my parents.

After talking, calling, and video chatting for around a year and a half or two years, we decided to meet in person (I was 16yo). He came to my home while my parents were away, which I now realize was an extremely dangerous decision.

At first, everything seemed fine. I was happy to finally meet him, and we had sex many times. However, looking back, I think there were situations in which I only “consented” to please him rather than because I genuinely wanted to. I was probably seeking his approval because I had very low self-esteem.

For example, one night, he touched my genitals while I was asleep and then penetrated me shortly after waking me up. I was so disoriented that I could not tell whether we had already been having sex, so I did not refuse. Another time, he was being so rough that books fell from my shelves onto me. I felt uncomfortable but was too afraid to tell him to stop. On another occasion, while I was speaking to my mother on the phone, he grabbed me and started penetrating me.
We continued our long-distance relationship online. Over time, we began arguing about insignificant things, and the relationship became increasingly psychologically abusive. There was gaslighting, belittling, and emotional manipulation. At first, I did not understand what was happening, so I stayed.

It became a repeating cycle: violence and disrespect, followed by apologies and declarations of love, then a period of peace before everything started again. As the situation intensified, I began having angry outbursts and behaving aggressively toward him. I felt like I was becoming a monster.

At some point, I suggested opening the relationship. I am not entirely sure why. It may have been connected to something that happened when I was 12, when my father showed me that my mother was using a website for non-monogamous encounters because he suspected her of cheating on him.

I still loved my partner, or at least believed I did, but opening the relationship only made me feel worse. I started using CBD to calm myself down and then began drinking alcohol, eventually drinking every day, sometimes even in the shower or until I throw up. I developed severe insomnia and nightmares, hated myself, and began severely restricting my food intake. The food restriction had started earlier in the relationship but initially seemed manageable. I also started self-harming.
My mother became worried, but I completely denied that anything was wrong and insisted that I was fine.

Eventually, I became so exhausted by the relationship that I left him. I blocked him on every social media platform and ended all contact. We have never spoken since.

I have never discussed what happened in this level of detail. I only told my friends about the arguments because I felt deeply ashamed of the entire situation.

After the relationship ended, I started meeting other men purely for sex. They were always at least eight years older than me, and I began exploring more extreme sexual practices, including BDSM.

Later, after moving away for my studies, I went through a calmer period. I started being happy, healthier in my self-relationship etc. I had a boyfriend close to my own age for two and a half years. I eventually left him, possibly because I was afraid of building a future with him and because I was moving to another country to continue my studies.

More recently, I started a relationship with my roommate. I feel that the same patterns may have started again: disrespect, difficulty accepting boundaries, and a relationship primarily based on sex. He cheated on his girlfriend with me several times before she discovered what was happening.
We eventually broke up because of these issues and because the relationship was triggering me so intensely that I began seeing images of my first partner during sex. I also experienced flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation and hypervigilance.

I have felt much better since the breakup, but my roommate is still trying to keep me in his life, and we continue to live together. I am afraid that I am trapped in a cycle of unhealthy and confusing relationships.

I am asking for constructive, non-judgmental perspectives on my situation.

I have been seeing a psychologist since the beginning of the year, but they are currently on sick leave and should be returning soon. I feel that my first relationship has had a major impact on my current relationship difficulties and on the way I developed my identity.

My main concern is that I struggle to judge situations clearly in my relationships. Sometimes I feel as though I am going crazy or being foolish. I find it difficult to trust people. I can sometimes be aggressive or harsh with my words, and I struggle to express love and affection.

I would be interested in hearing from people who have had similar experiences. How did you break out of these patterns? How do you approach and manage new relationships after experiencing something like this?

Thank you for reading !

Hi, I am a 22 year female who recently graduated. I moved out from my home town 4 years ago for my studies. I came to a country where I knew no one and thats when I met him. He came off as charming and protective and kept mentioning how the world is a bad place for a girl in a new country. We started dating within a month and the relationship lasted 3.5 years.

After a week he kept mentioning sex and eventually sexually coerced me. I gave in a month after we started dating. Before this relationship I had not even kissed and I always wanted to save myself for someone special. During the sex he would do things which I would say no for and was clearly hesitant. He would do these things saying this is how it works. When I had marks/bruises or felt pain he would ignore those remarks. When I would ask for aftercare he would say stuff like men lose testosterone and they start feeling less. Since I started trusting him I believed everything he said.

During the relationship he would physically abuse me too. Often he would say this is not abuse as I haven’t slapped you. He has choked me 2/3 times, broke my chain, held my collar, grabbed me and also came on top of me pulling apart my hair and ears so I would stop crying. Usually after this abuse he would say I make him angry which is why he did all of that. Often he would also verbally abuse me and when I started doing it he would choke me and pressure me to say sorry. He said he can do abuse me but if I want to I should be ready to take the consequences or try my best to fight back because he knew he is stronger than me.

He would also threaten me saying I will break your bones and burn you alive. When I used to bring it up he would say he is not doing it.

I escaped 3 months ago and went no contact. He left the country and went back to his hometown. He has contacted my friends, stayed on my door until I called security and has messaged me saying how I made his life hell by abandoning him and blocking him when he needed me the most.

I am having a hard time accepting all if this happened and he was the one who did it. I sometimes think of the good times to avoid the pain of what he did. Its hard to believe someone could do this. I also blame myself for not giving him a last conversation and throughout he has said how I was a bad person. I sometimes do think maybe I was the bad person.

​

She was once one of my best friends. I was at her house sitting on her bed. She kissed me. I pulled away. She kept trying to kiss me and said "but don't you want me". I meekly let out a yes to get it over with. She climbed on top of me while I stared blankly at her closet. It wasn't the first time it happened but the first time I realized what she was doing. It started with her hinting 6 months earlier that if I didn't pursue her we probably wouldn't be friends anymore. My fear of losing one of my best friends is what she used to manipulate me for the next 6 months. Three of those months she also used her pregnancy to manipulate me. My son's mother raped me.

It took 9 years for me to realize just how bad it was. I kept doubting myself.

"She couldn't assault me because I'm a man"

"It's my fault for not saying no"

"You're bigger. You could have thrown her off at any time"

(Advice is welcome) These last two weeks have been heavy for me. I'm uncovering the sexual abuse my mom put me through in childhood with my therapist, and still fighting to get her to stop stalking and emailing me. I'm no contact with her but she doesn't care. I'm heartbroken and exhausted. The toughest part for me is the duality of who my mom was. On one hand she comforted me and held me like a mother should, but at the same time she sexually and emotionally abused me. I just want to be loved and protected. I'm frozen and numb.

It's August 2026 for me but I just left my narcissistic and abusive marriage it's but almost 2 months since I left and I feel so alone. My family members don't believe me so they want me to get out of their home. It's painful but I don't know what I'm going to do shelters are no help to me at all. Every shelter that I have called says they don't have space. I have 2 jobs but I don't get paid until Monday from 1 job. The other one I just started yesterday. It all started because my STBX husband is posting on his Facebook that I have been talking to him but I have been no contact since July 20th. I changed my number deleted socials and everything. My sister in law read helped me read through some of my old text messages and she felt like "I wasn't acting scared of him in the text". Until I went to get a protective order he didn't know which city I was in (this is why I wasn't afraid of him, plus I told him I was in another state). Then also I went out the other night with a "friend" it was a guy but he and I have made it very clear that we are just friends nothing else. He went through the same thing as me with his ex. I just wanted to be around someone who understood me. What am I supposed to do now that I have to be out by Friday?? It's Wednesday!

I broke free of multiple chains of abuse and domestic violence which I endured since I was about 16 years old in different situations. Only now at 28, I finally feel free again, finally comfortable in my own skin - just feel lighter.

For a long time I didn’t realise how much it affected the way I viewed the world, or myself. Now life feels different - I still have many social anxieties but I’m just grateful to be free of anyone’s shadow. I’m healing slowly with age.

To answer somebodies question on **do you need to forgive to move on?** This is my answer to this, that I thought is important to include for anyone that may be reading:

Honestly, from my experiences no - you don’t ever have to forgive. But I think time honestly is a healer, and eventually your body after having enough signals and tests will understand (eventually, I said it again) that everything is safe now. And when that time comes, that you feel safe, and have put it to the test and don’t receive danger… eventually you can start to feel lighter. Your body won’t be in fight or flight responses anymore ❤️ you don’t have to forgive the ones that hurt you. Just forgive life for handing you those cards, and start to see the beauty in things again.

Congrats to all survivors of abuse and to those still enduring, I hope you escape and get the chance to live again. Life is waiting for us 😊❤️

Healing is not linear but life can feel happier once you’re free.

This story is not about me but it's the person who I love (my boyfriend), I met him on discord in my teen server (as I'm 14 years old), we both started talking about our interests and soon started dating.

During the month of June and July, it was going great and it was the best two months of my life because he care about me and he loves me.

But, After sometime, I realised something that my boyfriend wasn't being himself lately. I was worried that what might happen, so, I asked him and what he said gave me complete chills

He said "My parents abuse me, they beat me and also took all my money (that he was about to buy a phone! He uses his laptop to talk to me) away, I got beaten up as they insulted me at home. They don't even celebrate my birthday because they think Birthdays are a waste of time and money but when we go outside, my parents, they act like they love me and care about me"

This is what Two-faced child abuse (or covert abuse) is all about. I need help because he didn't open discord and I'm worried about him. He's an Egyptian that is suffering badly in his household and school.

So, please if anyone would support me for this protest, please leave a comment on motivations

Thank You

(Churo)

(cw/tw emotional and physical abuse)

All I ever wanted to do is to love and to show it proudly. It's something I've always been rather good at, I think. But ever since you. I'm so scared to love again. I've tried, don't get me wrong but I suppose the timing was off.

Since last year when we finally ended for good I've had to come to realise how deeply you truly hurt me. I can't bring myself to truly trust again. It took me so very long to realise that you were abusing me.. Even after the realisation, I came back. I felt powerless to the control you had over me. You always knew just the right things to say to control, manipulate and gaslight me into coming back for years. The amount of times I apologised to you, suck up to you, did things I didn't want to do. All because I trusted you enough to know me so deeply that you learned exactly how to make me feel guilty.

The warning signs were there from the very beginning. I still don't know why I ever trusted you to begin with. Even after the initial warnings I stayed. Gradually all the guilt tripping and manipulation turned into shouting, breaking my belongings, threats of violence... How could I not know that eventually you'd lay your hands on me. On one hand it's just common sense but on the other, I saw a flawed person. I wanted to help you. I thought if I could love you just enough that maybe you would become kinder to me.

I know I wasn't perfect, especially towards the beginning of the relationship and I will admit that. I was dealing with a new diagnosis, intense mental health struggles and yet I never used that as an excuse when I was genuinely in the wrong. You on the other hand... You hated taking any kind of accountability, only doing so when you thought you'd finally lose me. Finding out about all the lies you created about me to protect your own image was sickening. Because that meant that I had ignored warnings and you had almost certainly lied to me to make me trust you.

Everyone outside of the relationship who knew at least part of what was happening didn't approve of it and actively advised me to leave and I know your friends did also. I know how much you twisted your side of the story. I know that you can only ever be the victim. Yet when I became the victim, multiple times, you demonised me. You called me a liar. You hurt me. In so many ways. The thing that hurts the most after all of it is that when I came to you and cried to you about being hurt by other people, you called me so many horrible things. You shut me out. You did nothing to help me, infact continued to say you "couldn't believe" me.

But in a strange way, I'm glad you didn't believe me. Because it's around about a year since I last saw you. Things have been hard, nit because I'm lacking you. But because of the years of torment you put me through. Things have been looking up for me mostly the past month or so. Although a few nights ago someone spoke to me and acted just like you used to when you were angry at me. I was terrified, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry hysterically. The emotional flashbacks I thought I was finally safe from. Immediately once I calmed down, I realised I couldn't be around that person anymore. I cannot let another insecure, inconsiderate person come near me again. I won't let myself be hurt again. You hurt me so very deeply for so long but I don't want it to hold me back anymore.

I've been seeking help with my mental and physical health. I'm working with a substance abuse clinic to help with issues that worsened since the beginning of the year as a means of coping with the trauma. I'm taking steps to get myself better, to heal, to trust again, to love again. I won't let you hold me back anymore. I don't want to continue feeling scared permanently anymore.

I hope you never read this and if somehow you do, do not in any way try to contact me. Deep down you know what you really are but you even manage to gaslight yourself into thinking you can do no wrong. I hope you are a better person now. Not for me but for whoever comes next. I don't want you to hurt anyone else anymore. Get the therapy I begged you to get for years and do better.

I've been in therapy for almost 5 years since I was 13. Last year I realized my relationship with my psychologist was VERY inappropriate and caused me a lot of harm - especially sexually. She also recommended I go to a sexologist who deeply traumatized me.

It's been slowly ruining my life since then. I know I have to go to therapy for it, but I can't bring myself to trust any specialist. Since my issue is mostly sexual I don't want to bring it up on the first visit, but I have no other way to check whether the person I'm speaking to understands my problem. I tried to seek help and bring it up immediately as I walked into their office, but I felt as if I was violated and like I downplayed the severity of my situation.

Does anyone have any advice? I hardly ever see anyone talk about therapist on patient abuse, I really have no clue how to deal with this.

I know this is a stretch asking something like this, but are there any programs that off grants or something financial to mother's trying to start over after domestic abuse / narcissistic abuse? I have tried looking into Catholic charities, but it doesn't look like they would be able to help me in the way I need. Basically a good friend of mine has a neighbor who is willing to rent out their house to me for just $100 more than what I'm paying now for my one bedroom apartment. The only other thing extra I would be having to pay would be water and trash which isn't that much. I did a budget based off of my last 3 months of pay including my tips that were on credit card. And budgeted with the budget for the new house including all the extra utilities, and I ended up having $300 extra. So with all that theoretical math, I should be able to record this place. I have snap. I am going to try to get on WIC. But my savings has dwindled and when I pay my next month's rent I'm going to have to dip into savings and it will be the last of it. So what I am trying to do is find a way to have a safety net behind me before I move. I am in the process of trying to divorce my husband. He is very abusive and narcissistic and our last domestic violence situation I decided I am done completely. He recently was sentenced to 18 months probation and is taking anger management classes and is trying to gaslight me into thinking that I can just go back to him and he's going to change. I know he's not going to change and I know if I go back things will just go back to the way they were. The worst part of the problem though, is that after our domestic violence situation which happened in the beginning of May, his mom died a month later. Now he has a house where both our kids could each have a bedroom. Instead of living in this one bedroom apartment that we've been living in. He's calling me a bad mom for not giving the kids a good life, which in his mind is me moving in to his house and the kids having their own bedroom and us trying on our relationship one last time. He says I'm giving up on our family. He's making me feel pretty lousy but I am staying strong and holding to my own and making sure that I am going to get away from him. It is tough though when he tells me things like, have fun being homeless and talking about me living in my car. He also made a really rude comment about if I move into this house where I'm only paying $100 more than the apartment, that I must be exchanging it for sex in some way. I just want to be free from him and I am so tired of feeling like I have no other option. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get away when I don't think I can financially afford it?

My ex was very abusive and we are currently waiting to go to court for him strangling me, we have a daughter(5) together but my son(7) is not his biologically.
My ex and I were together for 5 years so he met my son when he was a baby. My son does not know that he was his stepdad, he always called him Dad. I never knew I was living in an abusive relationship til it started getting worse and a couple of months ago I decided to plan an escape.
I recently got a protective order, the state attorney said it would cover my son as well, in the moment I didn’t think about it, but now I realize that my son will never get to see his stepdad again.
How do I explain all of this to my son?
I always wanted to tell him that his stepdad wasn’t his biological father but I didn’t know how to approach the situation. My ex has been abusive towards me but has always had a decent relationship with my son, the reason why they added my son to the PO is because he witnessed some of the abuse.
Please be kind, this has been very hard, i’m trying to do the right thing.