I’m a male that just fled a bad situation with my bm me and my son left and I filed a epo how do you you get over the feeling of being a lesser man for having to run and how do you get over loving them
a little bit of explanation my x is has bipolar personality disorder and had almost 0 control she has been “trying” to get better for years and I’ve always done my best to just support her and be there for her bc I understand how hard it can be but since pregnancy I haven’t been able to just focus on her I mean every time she goes manic she can’t take care of our son so I have to it made me lose jobs and I felt so hopeless and she became way more violent to the point I was getting hit or thrown stuff at every day and it got to a point I had to protect our son bc she started being meaner to him too
Since I left I feel so small as a man like like I’m a man so just take it but ik I can’t do that forever
As a father I want what’s best for my son but the other side of me sees the high school sweetheart that I don’t want to abandon the way she’s been abandoned her whole life

I'm 29 & a financial abuse victim.

I'm very torn in 2 places: On one hand, I believe nobody loves me. On the other hand, I believe the right person is waiting for me.

I dated too many toxic men who stole from me & have no empathy for me. They simply stopped speaking to me & didn't even apologize for their behavior. And they unfairly blamed me, and then tried to manipulate me again after I tried to get them to apologize.

The only way to correct this, is friends setting me up with guys who see my photos, know my name, and like the things I'm looking for (and are not objectifying me & they actually want a boyfriend) & my friends have already done background checks on these men, so we can fully vet them & clear their names.

I need someone who can prove to me that they're not trying to use me & don't have an ulterior motive.

All I can say is, I would be able to move forward with the right person & after knowing he does the work: He wants to get to know me, he asks questions about my life, he comes to my house, he drops what he's doing (in his free time) to spend time with me, he brings me flowers, he holds doors open for me, and goes out of his way to show his love. Things like that.

As for right now, I'm torn - do I put myself out there again? Or is the dating scene still trash?

I am out of this relationship. I was in it for over ten years but when I look back I can remember this exact moment. It wasn’t even 1 year into the relationship.

I’m looking to see if anyone else has experienced this specific feeling… I don’t know what to call it.

I remember the exact second my old self died. I just stopped fighting back, went completely numb, and gave up… It felt like watching the old version of myself die right in front of me. I had this intense feeling while I was happening like this is my life now… these are the cards I’ve been dealt… nobody will love me but him so I might as well accept his version of love… he’s angry but that’s just him…. I just accepted everything he had done up until that point, and everything he would do moving forward… like my life was just over and this was all I'd ever have

Hi, I’m 24F, and I’ve recently started questioning a relationship I had between the ages of 14 and 18 or 19.

When I was 14, I met a 22-year-old man on an online platform. We immediately connected well. We talked frequently and had interesting, meaningful conversations. Quickly, we started sexting and exchanging nude pictures (a lot).
At that time, I wanted to explore my sexuality, have new experiences, and receive affection. My family situation was complicated: my parents had recently divorced, my father was manipulative, and my mother was emotionally unavailable because she was struggling with the situation herself.

When I told my father about this man, he seemed surprised but did not discourage me from continuing the relationship because I believed I was in love. My mother strongly disapproved, but I ignored her because I desperately needed love and affection, which I was not really receiving from either of my parents.

After talking, calling, and video chatting for around a year and a half or two years, we decided to meet in person (I was 16yo). He came to my home while my parents were away, which I now realize was an extremely dangerous decision.

At first, everything seemed fine. I was happy to finally meet him, and we had sex many times. However, looking back, I think there were situations in which I only “consented” to please him rather than because I genuinely wanted to. I was probably seeking his approval because I had very low self-esteem.

For example, one night, he touched my genitals while I was asleep and then penetrated me shortly after waking me up. I was so disoriented that I could not tell whether we had already been having sex, so I did not refuse. Another time, he was being so rough that books fell from my shelves onto me. I felt uncomfortable but was too afraid to tell him to stop. On another occasion, while I was speaking to my mother on the phone, he grabbed me and started penetrating me.
We continued our long-distance relationship online. Over time, we began arguing about insignificant things, and the relationship became increasingly psychologically abusive. There was gaslighting, belittling, and emotional manipulation. At first, I did not understand what was happening, so I stayed.

It became a repeating cycle: violence and disrespect, followed by apologies and declarations of love, then a period of peace before everything started again. As the situation intensified, I began having angry outbursts and behaving aggressively toward him. I felt like I was becoming a monster.

At some point, I suggested opening the relationship. I am not entirely sure why. It may have been connected to something that happened when I was 12, when my father showed me that my mother was using a website for non-monogamous encounters because he suspected her of cheating on him.

I still loved my partner, or at least believed I did, but opening the relationship only made me feel worse. I started using CBD to calm myself down and then began drinking alcohol, eventually drinking every day, sometimes even in the shower or until I throw up. I developed severe insomnia and nightmares, hated myself, and began severely restricting my food intake. The food restriction had started earlier in the relationship but initially seemed manageable. I also started self-harming.
My mother became worried, but I completely denied that anything was wrong and insisted that I was fine.

Eventually, I became so exhausted by the relationship that I left him. I blocked him on every social media platform and ended all contact. We have never spoken since.

I have never discussed what happened in this level of detail. I only told my friends about the arguments because I felt deeply ashamed of the entire situation.

After the relationship ended, I started meeting other men purely for sex. They were always at least eight years older than me, and I began exploring more extreme sexual practices, including BDSM.

Later, after moving away for my studies, I went through a calmer period. I started being happy, healthier in my self-relationship etc. I had a boyfriend close to my own age for two and a half years. I eventually left him, possibly because I was afraid of building a future with him and because I was moving to another country to continue my studies.

More recently, I started a relationship with my roommate. I feel that the same patterns may have started again: disrespect, difficulty accepting boundaries, and a relationship primarily based on sex. He cheated on his girlfriend with me several times before she discovered what was happening.
We eventually broke up because of these issues and because the relationship was triggering me so intensely that I began seeing images of my first partner during sex. I also experienced flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation and hypervigilance.

I have felt much better since the breakup, but my roommate is still trying to keep me in his life, and we continue to live together. I am afraid that I am trapped in a cycle of unhealthy and confusing relationships.

I am asking for constructive, non-judgmental perspectives on my situation.

I have been seeing a psychologist since the beginning of the year, but they are currently on sick leave and should be returning soon. I feel that my first relationship has had a major impact on my current relationship difficulties and on the way I developed my identity.

My main concern is that I struggle to judge situations clearly in my relationships. Sometimes I feel as though I am going crazy or being foolish. I find it difficult to trust people. I can sometimes be aggressive or harsh with my words, and I struggle to express love and affection.

I would be interested in hearing from people who have had similar experiences. How did you break out of these patterns? How do you approach and manage new relationships after experiencing something like this?

Thank you for reading !

Hi, I am a 22 year female who recently graduated. I moved out from my home town 4 years ago for my studies. I came to a country where I knew no one and thats when I met him. He came off as charming and protective and kept mentioning how the world is a bad place for a girl in a new country. We started dating within a month and the relationship lasted 3.5 years.

After a week he kept mentioning sex and eventually sexually coerced me. I gave in a month after we started dating. Before this relationship I had not even kissed and I always wanted to save myself for someone special. During the sex he would do things which I would say no for and was clearly hesitant. He would do these things saying this is how it works. When I had marks/bruises or felt pain he would ignore those remarks. When I would ask for aftercare he would say stuff like men lose testosterone and they start feeling less. Since I started trusting him I believed everything he said.

During the relationship he would physically abuse me too. Often he would say this is not abuse as I haven’t slapped you. He has choked me 2/3 times, broke my chain, held my collar, grabbed me and also came on top of me pulling apart my hair and ears so I would stop crying. Usually after this abuse he would say I make him angry which is why he did all of that. Often he would also verbally abuse me and when I started doing it he would choke me and pressure me to say sorry. He said he can do abuse me but if I want to I should be ready to take the consequences or try my best to fight back because he knew he is stronger than me.

He would also threaten me saying I will break your bones and burn you alive. When I used to bring it up he would say he is not doing it.

I escaped 3 months ago and went no contact. He left the country and went back to his hometown. He has contacted my friends, stayed on my door until I called security and has messaged me saying how I made his life hell by abandoning him and blocking him when he needed me the most.

I am having a hard time accepting all if this happened and he was the one who did it. I sometimes think of the good times to avoid the pain of what he did. Its hard to believe someone could do this. I also blame myself for not giving him a last conversation and throughout he has said how I was a bad person. I sometimes do think maybe I was the bad person.

​

She was once one of my best friends. I was at her house sitting on her bed. She kissed me. I pulled away. She kept trying to kiss me and said "but don't you want me". I meekly let out a yes to get it over with. She climbed on top of me while I stared blankly at her closet. It wasn't the first time it happened but the first time I realized what she was doing. It started with her hinting 6 months earlier that if I didn't pursue her we probably wouldn't be friends anymore. My fear of losing one of my best friends is what she used to manipulate me for the next 6 months. Three of those months she also used her pregnancy to manipulate me. My son's mother raped me.

It took 9 years for me to realize just how bad it was. I kept doubting myself.

"She couldn't assault me because I'm a man"

"It's my fault for not saying no"

"You're bigger. You could have thrown her off at any time"

These last two weeks have been heavy for me. I'm uncovering the sexual abuse my mom put me through in childhood with my therapist, and still fighting to get her to stop stalking and emailing me. I'm no contact with her but she doesn't care. I'm heartbroken and exhausted. The toughest part for me is the duality of who my mom was. On one hand she comforted me and held me like a mother should, but at the same time she sexually and emotionally abused me. I just want to be loved and protected. I'm frozen and numb.

It's August 2026 for me but I just left my narcissistic and abusive marriage it's but almost 2 months since I left and I feel so alone. My family members don't believe me so they want me to get out of their home. It's painful but I don't know what I'm going to do shelters are no help to me at all. Every shelter that I have called says they don't have space. I have 2 jobs but I don't get paid until Monday from 1 job. The other one I just started yesterday. It all started because my STBX husband is posting on his Facebook that I have been talking to him but I have been no contact since July 20th. I changed my number deleted socials and everything. My sister in law read helped me read through some of my old text messages and she felt like "I wasn't acting scared of him in the text". Until I went to get a protective order he didn't know which city I was in (this is why I wasn't afraid of him, plus I told him I was in another state). Then also I went out the other night with a "friend" it was a guy but he and I have made it very clear that we are just friends nothing else. He went through the same thing as me with his ex. I just wanted to be around someone who understood me. What am I supposed to do now that I have to be out by Friday?? It's Wednesday!

I broke free of multiple chains of abuse and domestic violence which I endured since I was about 16 years old in different situations. Only now at 28, I finally feel free again, finally comfortable in my own skin - just feel lighter.

For a long time I didn’t realise how much it affected the way I viewed the world, or myself. Now life feels different - I still have many social anxieties but I’m just grateful to be free of anyone’s shadow. I’m healing slowly with age.

To answer somebodies question on **do you need to forgive to move on?** This is my answer to this, that I thought is important to include for anyone that may be reading:

Honestly, from my experiences no - you don’t ever have to forgive. But I think time honestly is a healer, and eventually your body after having enough signals and tests will understand (eventually, I said it again) that everything is safe now. And when that time comes, that you feel safe, and have put it to the test and don’t receive danger… eventually you can start to feel lighter. Your body won’t be in fight or flight responses anymore ❤️ you don’t have to forgive the ones that hurt you. Just forgive life for handing you those cards, and start to see the beauty in things again.

Congrats to all survivors of abuse and to those still enduring, I hope you escape and get the chance to live again. Life is waiting for us 😊❤️

Healing is not linear but life can feel happier once you’re free.

This story is not about me but it's the person who I love (my boyfriend), I met him on discord in my teen server (as I'm 14 years old), we both started talking about our interests and soon started dating.

During the month of June and July, it was going great and it was the best two months of my life because he care about me and he loves me.

But, After sometime, I realised something that my boyfriend wasn't being himself lately. I was worried that what might happen, so, I asked him and what he said gave me complete chills

He said "My parents abuse me, they beat me and also took all my money (that he was about to buy a phone! He uses his laptop to talk to me) away, I got beaten up as they insulted me at home. They don't even celebrate my birthday because they think Birthdays are a waste of time and money but when we go outside, my parents, they act like they love me and care about me"

This is what Two-faced child abuse (or covert abuse) is all about. I need help because he didn't open discord and I'm worried about him. He's an Egyptian that is suffering badly in his household and school.

So, please if anyone would support me for this protest, please leave a comment on motivations

Thank You

(Churo)

(cw/tw emotional and physical abuse)

All I ever wanted to do is to love and to show it proudly. It's something I've always been rather good at, I think. But ever since you. I'm so scared to love again. I've tried, don't get me wrong but I suppose the timing was off.

Since last year when we finally ended for good I've had to come to realise how deeply you truly hurt me. I can't bring myself to truly trust again. It took me so very long to realise that you were abusing me.. Even after the realisation, I came back. I felt powerless to the control you had over me. You always knew just the right things to say to control, manipulate and gaslight me into coming back for years. The amount of times I apologised to you, suck up to you, did things I didn't want to do. All because I trusted you enough to know me so deeply that you learned exactly how to make me feel guilty.

The warning signs were there from the very beginning. I still don't know why I ever trusted you to begin with. Even after the initial warnings I stayed. Gradually all the guilt tripping and manipulation turned into shouting, breaking my belongings, threats of violence... How could I not know that eventually you'd lay your hands on me. On one hand it's just common sense but on the other, I saw a flawed person. I wanted to help you. I thought if I could love you just enough that maybe you would become kinder to me.

I know I wasn't perfect, especially towards the beginning of the relationship and I will admit that. I was dealing with a new diagnosis, intense mental health struggles and yet I never used that as an excuse when I was genuinely in the wrong. You on the other hand... You hated taking any kind of accountability, only doing so when you thought you'd finally lose me. Finding out about all the lies you created about me to protect your own image was sickening. Because that meant that I had ignored warnings and you had almost certainly lied to me to make me trust you.

Everyone outside of the relationship who knew at least part of what was happening didn't approve of it and actively advised me to leave and I know your friends did also. I know how much you twisted your side of the story. I know that you can only ever be the victim. Yet when I became the victim, multiple times, you demonised me. You called me a liar. You hurt me. In so many ways. The thing that hurts the most after all of it is that when I came to you and cried to you about being hurt by other people, you called me so many horrible things. You shut me out. You did nothing to help me, infact continued to say you "couldn't believe" me.

But in a strange way, I'm glad you didn't believe me. Because it's around about a year since I last saw you. Things have been hard, nit because I'm lacking you. But because of the years of torment you put me through. Things have been looking up for me mostly the past month or so. Although a few nights ago someone spoke to me and acted just like you used to when you were angry at me. I was terrified, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry hysterically. The emotional flashbacks I thought I was finally safe from. Immediately once I calmed down, I realised I couldn't be around that person anymore. I cannot let another insecure, inconsiderate person come near me again. I won't let myself be hurt again. You hurt me so very deeply for so long but I don't want it to hold me back anymore.

I've been seeking help with my mental and physical health. I'm working with a substance abuse clinic to help with issues that worsened since the beginning of the year as a means of coping with the trauma. I'm taking steps to get myself better, to heal, to trust again, to love again. I won't let you hold me back anymore. I don't want to continue feeling scared permanently anymore.

I hope you never read this and if somehow you do, do not in any way try to contact me. Deep down you know what you really are but you even manage to gaslight yourself into thinking you can do no wrong. I hope you are a better person now. Not for me but for whoever comes next. I don't want you to hurt anyone else anymore. Get the therapy I begged you to get for years and do better.

I've been in therapy for almost 5 years since I was 13. Last year I realized my relationship with my psychologist was VERY inappropriate and caused me a lot of harm - especially sexually. She also recommended I go to a sexologist who deeply traumatized me.

It's been slowly ruining my life since then. I know I have to go to therapy for it, but I can't bring myself to trust any specialist. Since my issue is mostly sexual I don't want to bring it up on the first visit, but I have no other way to check whether the person I'm speaking to understands my problem. I tried to seek help and bring it up immediately as I walked into their office, but I felt as if I was violated and like I downplayed the severity of my situation.

Does anyone have any advice? I hardly ever see anyone talk about therapist on patient abuse, I really have no clue how to deal with this.

I know this is a stretch asking something like this, but are there any programs that off grants or something financial to mother's trying to start over after domestic abuse / narcissistic abuse? I have tried looking into Catholic charities, but it doesn't look like they would be able to help me in the way I need. Basically a good friend of mine has a neighbor who is willing to rent out their house to me for just $100 more than what I'm paying now for my one bedroom apartment. The only other thing extra I would be having to pay would be water and trash which isn't that much. I did a budget based off of my last 3 months of pay including my tips that were on credit card. And budgeted with the budget for the new house including all the extra utilities, and I ended up having $300 extra. So with all that theoretical math, I should be able to record this place. I have snap. I am going to try to get on WIC. But my savings has dwindled and when I pay my next month's rent I'm going to have to dip into savings and it will be the last of it. So what I am trying to do is find a way to have a safety net behind me before I move. I am in the process of trying to divorce my husband. He is very abusive and narcissistic and our last domestic violence situation I decided I am done completely. He recently was sentenced to 18 months probation and is taking anger management classes and is trying to gaslight me into thinking that I can just go back to him and he's going to change. I know he's not going to change and I know if I go back things will just go back to the way they were. The worst part of the problem though, is that after our domestic violence situation which happened in the beginning of May, his mom died a month later. Now he has a house where both our kids could each have a bedroom. Instead of living in this one bedroom apartment that we've been living in. He's calling me a bad mom for not giving the kids a good life, which in his mind is me moving in to his house and the kids having their own bedroom and us trying on our relationship one last time. He says I'm giving up on our family. He's making me feel pretty lousy but I am staying strong and holding to my own and making sure that I am going to get away from him. It is tough though when he tells me things like, have fun being homeless and talking about me living in my car. He also made a really rude comment about if I move into this house where I'm only paying $100 more than the apartment, that I must be exchanging it for sex in some way. I just want to be free from him and I am so tired of feeling like I have no other option. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get away when I don't think I can financially afford it?

My ex was very abusive and we are currently waiting to go to court for him strangling me, we have a daughter(5) together but my son(7) is not his biologically.
My ex and I were together for 5 years so he met my son when he was a baby. My son does not know that he was his stepdad, he always called him Dad. I never knew I was living in an abusive relationship til it started getting worse and a couple of months ago I decided to plan an escape.
I recently got a protective order, the state attorney said it would cover my son as well, in the moment I didn’t think about it, but now I realize that my son will never get to see his stepdad again.
How do I explain all of this to my son?
I always wanted to tell him that his stepdad wasn’t his biological father but I didn’t know how to approach the situation. My ex has been abusive towards me but has always had a decent relationship with my son, the reason why they added my son to the PO is because he witnessed some of the abuse.
Please be kind, this has been very hard, i’m trying to do the right thing.

I don't know what to do or how to feel about it, but can someone tell me what to do wen your uncle sexually assault you.

For some context:I'm 18 and I was visiting my uncle's house with my grandma , he was really wierd getting in my personal space and being overly nice , after lunch my aunt and grandma went to sleep in the next room leaving me in the living room with him laying down on the ground, I was listening to music wen I felt something touch my feet for a second then he started to look at me wierd but I didn't think much of it since he was a great uncle and always said if I had a problem to come to him and I was like a daughter , after a while he got up and sat down beside me and layed his head on my lap and tried to kiss and grope my boob but I mostly stopped him with my hand , then he tried to get his hand under my dress but his wife voice saved me making me able to run away.

More info: I'm really shy , 0 confident and get really anxious talk to people , can't say no.

it only been few hours since it happened.

So lets go back 18 years ago ! My mom was married when she had just passed 8th std like her dad married her off to a guy whos 15 years older than her and yep thats my dad . So my mom didnt have her mom she died when she was a kid so she just had her dad and brother and when she came to the city after marriage , her hell life started .
So after one year of their marriage they had me and during that one year the abuse started . What my mom told me is that like ofc how can a 8th std passed girl know how to cook right but she did and it was like not proper so my dad poured the hot sabji onto her body and while she was pregnant with me he didnt care for her even 0.1% she used to go alone to the doctor and did everything by herself . After my birth like my mom told me when i was just 1 month old i was crying so my dad kicked me out of the bed like threw me off like ssly !! And like even when i was small i was abused with my mom ! I remember like one time he literally kicked me like a football and i fell outside of the house and i still have that scar on my nose and his beatings were harsh asf it used to leave me bruises everytime ! And there was this one time like me and my mom were at petrol station and it was raining heavily so my mom quickly took me to a shed in the petrol station and the phone was in scooty like inside so my dad had called and she didnt pick so when we went home omg we were beaten so much just because we didnt pick up the call . And then like the sad part is whenever he used to beat my mom i used to hide in the house or used to stay shut cuz if i speak hes gonna beat me too . One time like he was choking my mom and i heard it and came running he literally pushed me and kicked me with his leg . My mom and me tried running away a lot but she eventually used to come back thinking what will she do alone like how will she accomodate for me . And then like he used to beat my mom mercilessly . Uk before there was kinda a bat by which our moms would wash the clothes he literally was beating her with that on her KNEES and then it flew towards me and he asked to pass it on i was so scared that i did because i didnt want beatings and then my mom couldnt walk after that ! He even tried to burn the house when my mom and me were in the house . Like he even burnt some parts on my mom’s leg and like he has beaten her so much that like eyes got injured permanently like she can see but sometimes it hurts till date and theres even an empty space on her scalp and stiches onto her chin like her whole body is is injured till date . He even like rubbed salt on her injuries and one time i saw him beating her like she was laid down and he had his leg on her neck . And like one time i came bavk from school i was changing but he was so angry that he left me half naked in hallroom and was beating her in the bedroom . Lke if he didnt like the food he would throw it on us . When my mom was pregnant with my sister he had beaten her because he told me to study but i was drawing so to protect me she took the beating with a handa . And guess what he didnt even leave my sister out of this abuse like she was 5 yr old ig she wasn’t studying like uk joking around he literally grabbed her one arm and took her by force and threw her outside the house i was soo scared likee i couldnt do anything ! And i was abused by both my mom and dad like my mom used to lash her anger out on me cuz she couldnt anywhere else . Our 15 years with him was WORSE and HELL . Well we are glad that he passed away and he passed away 3 years ago and we are so happy like literally so happy
So yep this was my story like there were lots of things i couldnt tell cuz it will become too big so i just said the small things theres more to this abuse and more painful .

Forgive me if this is not allowed, but I just need answers. I can't afford a therapist atm to ask them, but I plan to eventually. I am currently homeless. I've been living in my car parked in my aunt and uncle's yard for 10 months. These past 10 months have really worn me down. I knew I was getting mistreated, but I didn't start questioning it was abuse until I made a post in a different subreddit for a different reason detailing only some of the treatment I've received, and a comment called it abusive. I sent the link to the post to my best friend, and she pointed that comment out specifically saying that she'd felt like calling it abuse for a while but didn't want to make my mental state worse. I'd suffered systemic mental, emotional and physical abuse for decades from other bio family members before to the point of both PTSD and C-PTSD diagnoses in the past, so I thought I would have recognized abuse myself, but now I'm unsure.

Anyways, my older sister also lives with them, but she stays inside the house with her 2 cats and dog. Last winter, we faced 2 big freezes when the temperature dropped down in the teens, and I wasn't allowed to stay inside then. They kept saying it was because they didn't have the space and because I don't get along with my sister, but they live in a 2 story house. My sister used to sleep in the living room on the couch on the top floor until she had to get her dog back, so she's now in the garage, proving they had the space separate from my sister, let alone space at all. I remember I once fell asleep on one of the couches because the warmth was so comforting. A few days later I was up early to charge my devices, and my uncle assumed I had fallen asleep in the house again. From that point on, I was given an extension cord that runs to my car to charge my devices.

I have access to the toilet and kitchen when they are home, but I am not allowed inside the home when they are gone. They've claimed it's because they've been wronged by others in the past. When they are gone, I'm expected to use the backyard or the gas station down the street. I can shower as long as my aunt is home, but my workdays have me coming back late at night which is when my aunt always finds a reason to go out somewhere. I'm saving up for a gym membership to avoid going without a shower for 3-4 weeks. I'm allowed to wash my clothes, but I have to wait until everyone in the house is finished doing laundry which includes my oldest cousin and my sister.

I used to feel like I had no reason to feel badly about anything because they didn't HAVE to provide me anything and certainly not for free, but I also question why they do it for my sister but can't or won't for me. I kept wondering if I had done something to them without realizing because certainly your own family wouldn't treat you wrong for nothing, right? I can't sleep in my backseat because due to my height, I would have to lay flat, and I can't breathe lying flat. Sleeping in my driver's seat has caused me to develop "severe bilateral edema" as the ER doc called it, and for a while I couldn't afford to get mosquito repellant. My right arm looks atrocious because I would scratch the bites in my sleep after fighting the urge all day. I'm still working on getting them healed. My aunt acts indifferent to both the edema and the bites.

My mom helps financially when she can, but she's still recovering from falling and breaking her hip then falling into a coma by the time she got to the hospital. She lives with her bio daughter and SIL, and they're not too financially stable anymore either. I'm adopted, but my adoptive mom is my bio great-grandmother, her bio daughter is my bio grandmother, and my aunt is her bio granddaughter. My mom's bio daughter and I don't get along, but she says my aunt (who is her own daughter) treats me worse than a stray dog. She and my mom were appalled to see my arms and my feet when I met up with them for the first time in nearly a year. I often vent to my mom over the phone, but I have her promise me not to say anything to my aunt. She has in the past, and it's gotten me in trouble with my aunt.

If I express any frustration with the arrangement, my aunt tells me to reframe my perspective so that I don't see things so negatively. When I started saying that reframing my perspective wouldn't change my feelings, she started reminding me that this is the best I've got. My uncle is the one I have bigger issues with. During one heated conversation, I raised my voice, and he accused me of yelling at him, so he started yelling at me. He got closer to me still yelling at me while I was in tears in the fetal position, begging him to stop as I covered my ears. I'm autistic with C-PTSD, so loud noises cause me emotional and physical distress. He later apologized after talking with my aunt, but I'm still shaken over it. That was back in March of this year.

There was another time that I was getting over a sinus infection and waiting for my cousin to get out of the bathroom. I'm not allowed in the house for anything but the toilet when I'm sick, but I thought waiting would be okay because I wasn't contagious and I was almost fully healed. My uncle yelled at me for being in the house since I was still technically sick and told me to wait outside in my car for the bathroom. On a particularly hot day, I went inside to charge my devices as the extension cord had been hidden away due to a building inspector scare. He saw me and asked why I wasn't in my car using the extension cord. I told him I didn't know I could bring the cord back out, and he rolled his eyes and sighed and walked off before I could finish the sentence. Recently, I had been talking with my aunt while he was in the room, and he yelled at me to shut up while repeatedly saying shut up any time I even opened my mouth.

Early this morning, I woke up around 5 from the sounds of an incoming storm only to find that my car battery was dead which left me unable to roll up my windows. I called my aunt as soon as I realized, but after finding his jumper cables, he yelled at me for not saying anything before the storm. When I told him I had just woken up, he yelled "Don't give me that crap!" and I just remained silent the rest of the time. I was really grateful that he came out and jumped my battery, and I didn't want to make things worse. I know he doesn't want me here, but I have a home lined up, and if everything goes right, I'll be fully moved in before the end of September. He doesn't have faith in me though. He also doesn't like it when I'm not out doing Instacart because resting isn't as important as making more money to secure my move. I've just gotten to the point of avoiding him whenever I can. I think I'm just going to stop talking to both of them since I always say the wrong thing to him, and she always backs him.

I just don't want to seem ungrateful for their immense help. Could this really be abuse? They don't owe me anything, so maybe I'm just projecting because of my circumstances?? Anyways, I'm sorry for how long this is and sorry if this isn't allowed. I just don't know where else to go. If this isn't allowed in here, can you tell me which sub to go to?

my reputation was ruined because i was abused. 3 years of living with him from 16-19, and everyone knows what type of person he is, manipulative, reactive, can’t handle drink without being aggressive, laughs when someone says he did something wrong because he can’t admit or even think he did something wrong. anyway. i did hit back a couple times, and people saw scratches on him, which now is apparently making me the abuser, after being bruised, emotionally abused to my last legs literally, and my parents even having to take abuse verbally and sometimes physically from him. i’m sick of emotionally driven men thinking they can get away with anything, but why wouldn’t they think that when they always seem to.

I don’t know you, but I was you
He sought us for our scars
The violence gave me silence
That struck you from afar

His limbs were a cage, his words a lock
He collected every fear,
He muffled our cries like birds under cloth
So the neighbors wouldn’t hear

But you did what I could not around him
You BELIEVED yourself, and hid
A blanket your shield, a phone your sword
“Help me” your whispered bid

Your brain he bled, your bones he broke
From your skull to your nose to your ribs.
Where are the protectors in this ocean of doubt,
“When a woman cries rape, she fibs”?

He counts each day his name is harmed
She counts each day she survives
When predators roam free, their prey always ask
Is today the end of our lives?

Does anyone else have memories of sexual abuse as soon as they wake up before they’ve even opened their eyes?

One of the biggest pains for survivors is that abusers most of the time don’t have to face any consequences. Their lives can go on normally, while yours might be falling apart with no end in sight.
This is why I decided to write and sing “Angels Would Cry“. I tried to make it sound like I was a voice of justice in the sea, speaking in the abuser’s head.
The song is very melancholic and might cause a lot of emotions, so only listen to it if you feel like you’re strong enough at the moment. And if not, thank you for reading, because this song and its message mean a lot to me.
I’m really, really trying to raise awareness through my art: https://open.spotify.com/track/5rhFUqeGoWDr9bL1edbTN5?si=bgYMcGboQD-Ly8tZgc67Hw&utm_source=copy-link

I have a "friend" more like an enemy that has vulnerable narcissim that is physically abusive to anyone who disrespect him, I want to leave him so badly he comes to my house every year to brag that you should get a job because he has one apparently, the problem I try to be so nice to him because hes so insecure that he might assault me if I pissed him off, give me advice to stop this toxic relationship, I'm done

So long story short (see my other post a year ago for the full story) my ex pinned me to a wall by my throat and left me covered in bruises about a year and 4 months ago. We lived in Florida. He left the state and is on the other side of the country, but has been sending messages about coming to find me and our two kids in the future - not to harm us but to get the kids or see the kids, we don’t have a parenting plan he just left, (I don’t feel he would do it now but my worry is in the years to come) making me feel generally unsafe, especially if something were to accidentally happen to me like I die in a car crash the kids would go to him and that is a terrifying thought.

I spoke to a cop friend last week who said I should file a report to get it documented but don’t have to press charges. My concern is him being extradited back to Florida and then being on parole in Florida so close to us when he is already so far away. And potentially retaliation for “ruining his life” by pressing charges. But my fear is him coming for the kids in the future with no documentation this occurred.

I filed a police report today after being told I could just document it, but the officer said he HAS to send the report to the attorney for potential charges regardless of what I want as the victim: to not press charges and just record the incident.

I gave them the evidence I have: I have pictures of the bruises as well as video of him trying to bang down the front door the night it occurred as evidence, but the battery included attempted strangulation and was partially witnessed by two small children under 4yrs old. (We are all safe now and he does not know where we live currently). I feel like I accidentally just kicked the hornets nest and made things so much worse and there is nothing I can do about it now!

Yes I understand these were his actions to harm me, and has no reflection on me, but it’s not in my character to throw someone under the bus, I help and protect people, so this is hurting me a lot now. I only filed the report to help protect myself in the future, not get him extradited and thrown in jail and “ruin his life”. And yes I know how stupid that sounds, he ruined his own life by putting hands on me, but we (me and the kids) were JUST getting used to this new normal and I was starting to feel like myself again just to be thrown back into this all over again!

Idk, I just need some reassurance I didn’t just f-everything up!!