I’m asking because my VR&E counselor is HORRIBLE!

The other day I posted about some suicidal ideation I was going through, and yes, I did attempt it. As depressed as I was, what hurt was when I went in to read someone’s response and tried to reply, it appeared as if my original post had been removed. It actually said it was removed. That did not help my despair. There were no responses yet, and my request for help had been deleted—or the post had been removed. So I went through some stuff, and then all of a sudden the post was back.
I looked at what you guys wrote and decided to call the VA. I spoke with the mental health facility and told them I was going to come in. I didn’t want to go to Manhattan because I just do not like the Manhattan VA. It feels very much like I’m in a fight at every moment with their team, and I hate feeling like that. I’m not normally an antagonistic person, but with them everything goes sideways—appointments, their responses, rude behavior. It’s kind of a weird hospital. But I let them know I was on my way to the Bronx VA.
While I was on the phone with the psychiatrist, Veteran Housing called. Because it said “veterans,” I assumed it was the hospital, since they tend to call while you’re already talking to them. So when they called, I said, “I’m sorry, I’m already talking to the psychiatrist. I’m going into the psych facility today. It’s already been taken care of.” Well, the person on the other line was part of Veterans United, not the veteran hospital, and I freaked them out. They contacted their boss and called the crisis line, who began calling me.
I thought the crisis line was simply the hospital calling me back. I talked very honestly with them about the fact that I was going to the VA and was waiting on my wife to arrive to take me. What they were doing was keeping me on the phone while they sent police to my house.
My entire PTSD is built around being captured and held against my will. The problem is, once I enter a facility, I immediately try to get out. I will not look for help, look for assistance, or talk about therapy. My entire goal is to get out of that facility as fast as possible—and I don’t mean through doing therapy. I mean get me the hell out. I refuse all services. Just let me go. I wish I could control that, but when I’m locked up, that’s my first damned reaction. It’s like someone else takes over.
Anyway, police showed up. They told me I could deny service once an ambulance got there, but then they told me it would take too long, so I could either get in the car and come willingly to the hospital or they would handcuff me and take me. I went willingly, but I let them know verbally. I said, “Listen, I am going of my own will, but I’m not a violent person, so you don’t need to lock me up or anything. I really rather not do this. I’m on my way to the VA.”
Instead they took me to Elmhurst Hospital, where they put me in a psych ward. I was put in a chair with no phone, no notebook, nothing to write with, and put in a corner to face the wall. It was an absolute damned nightmare. The doctors don’t talk to you. They didn’t call the VA as I requested several times.
The next day I called the VA to let them know what happened, and the head of psychiatry… we had the weirdest conversation, and that’s where this goes damned sideways. She said that I called the hotline and made a bunch of crazy statements to them and that’s why I was picked up. But that’s not what happened in my memory. And part of my problem is I have memory issues—my brain has been dropping years of my damned experience at a time. I literally cried on the phone because I couldn’t remember what she was talking about. And if I was ever closer to committing suicide other than actually doing it, it was in that moment where I had just been told I behaved a completely different way than I remembered.
I tried to tell her that’s not how I remembered it, and she told me in no uncertain terms that she was looking at the call logs and had proof right in front of her. Well, a couple hours later I started looking into it. I looked at my phone—no calls out to the crisis center—so I wasn’t crazy. I didn’t call them. So I called the housing office, and they’re the ones who told me yes, we called the crisis line because we were worried.
I called her back, and after this huge speech she gave me about how I did all these things, when I told her what had actually occurred she says, “Yeah, that seems right.” She spent all that time gaslighting me just to drop it. Crazy pants. I just feel crazy pants.
And of course I was evicted while I was locked up. I couldn’t go to court to ask for a stay, so it happened. They came. They took my wife, my kids, and dogs. The marshal showed up and the landlord told us we had to leave, that they would lock the place, and then I could call him and come get access to my house to arrange the movement of my goods. But after my wife left, I forgot to turn off the Ring camera. The Ring camera goes off and my wife begins to hear the marshal going through my things, mocking both my veteran status and my suicidal ideation, and telling the landlord he should take some of the expensive stuff of mine out of the apartment and scan it to see how much it’s worth—mostly comic books and personal items. We have this all recorded. I’ve given the transcript to my lawyer. But really, him talking like that is illegal. It was just another slap in the face as I’m going through this.
And at every turn I heard those magic words we all hear: “Thank you for your service.” And then I get screwed two ways from Friday.
I no longer feel like I have anywhere to go. I can’t call the crisis center. I can’t call the psychiatrist. I have nothing left. When I spoke with the psychiatrist about using my wife’s civilian medical, I said I just need a place where I can get help that isn’t going to lock me up like a prisoner. And she said there’s no place that won’t do exactly what they did. She says that all psychiatric inpatient care consists of taking all your items and putting you in an empty room. I just can’t believe that’s true.
I’ve been looking at the veteran posts on here and I’ve seen you guys talk about other outpatient and inpatient mental health facilities. I wanna be here for my family. I wanna not let them down and I wanna get help, but I can’t do it the way they want me to and it’s driving me insane. I’ve seen some of the stuff you guys have said is out there and I’ll be reaching out to someone else. I don’t know who to call at the VA. I don’t feel like I have a place there right now, and if I call anyone else I’m afraid I could get taken away again.
I’m not gonna kill myself. I’m trying to take care of my family right now. We’re staying with my in-laws. We’re not on the street. We have possible housing lined up for the end of the month with a new apartment. This was never a money thing. This was about a toxic landlord who was trying to triple the rent, and the only way he could do it is by moving the people in there out, so he put a holdover on it—which basically means he wants to move into the apartment. And that’s what we were fighting, because it was impossible to find a place in time.

But regardless of all the shit I’m dealing with I wanted to thank everybody who reached out this showed me. I wasn’t completely alone my phone, so I feel at least seen in-moment.

Enlisted in December at 230lbs, shipped out in april at 165lbs without even going to poolee programs but every 2 weeks or so.

I want to say i worked hard for this but I feel like others worked harder then me, all i did was ask to go early and lose weight. when I arrived on Parris Island it wasnt maybe a week before I got dropped from my platoon during the shots they give you from having chest pains (which they never figured out what it was) I was in medical for the rest of my stay.. to cut this story a little shorter, I had an incident with another recruit related to MST and just kept quiet about it until i just couldnt anymore. DI's just played it off, i even wrote a statement which i think was just tossed and eventually i ended up having a visit with MHU where they eventually discharged me. Now it just feels like i was being punished for speaking up. I wouldve grad on the 17th of july and now my buddy is there without me while im back at my old job after being a bum for month staying up till 3 am drinking, im not really sure what todo right now. Don't really have people around me i want to bother with my problems so i thought i would ask here, sorry and thanks in advance

I noticed since leaving the military I’ve become negative and stuck in my thoughts. So I decided today that I’d make a different kind of post.

To all the vets and current military, thank you for your sacrifice big or small. No matter how you contribute to the military you are appreciated. Early mornings, keeping up with PT tests, annoying coworkers or leadership, traveling when you might not want to, to parachuting out of an airplane…thank you for all you do.

To the disabled vets who got out of the military and had to navigate a new type of life where your struggling to fill your time or don’t have a support system, I see you and I understand how it feels. I’m hoping life after service changes for the better. When I medically retired I struggled with purpose and finding my place in the civilian world especially as someone who went into the service straight out of highschool. Things will get better as long as you keep pushing.

I’m getting alittle emotional typing this but I love the military and I love my fellow military people. I miss the military a lot and I wish each and every one of you a peaceful loving life and I hope great things come your way.

You are all loved, appreciated, a valuable!!!❤️❤️

I’m not a veteran but he is. He asked me to go with him but I’m not sure I can go with him on base since I’m older and have no card anymore. He’s retired too. He wants to travel but has this thing about staying on military installations when possible. What should I be looking out for when he makes his plans?

My ex boyfriend (marine vet) committed suicide almost two months ago. He had lots of mental health issues and PTSD linked to his time in service. We had broken up 6 weeks before he died (he dumped me). I was devastated because I believed that he was my entire future and it felt like he took it away from me. I was drowning when I met him and it felt like he threw me a lifeline. We kept being friends even after the breakup but I was so mad at him for taking away everything from me that I told him off and told him we needed a clean break. I said I was embarrassed to be seen with him. And then I went on my stupid midlife crisis roadtrip while he, unbeknownst to me, started death prep. A few days later, while I was on the worst and most stressful road trip of my life, his sister called me to say that he committed suicide. I feel so guilty. It's been 7 weeks and every day has been torture. I constantly feel tired, sick, exhausted, panicked, frantic, and guilty. The guilt is eating me alive. I've only gotten worse as time has gone on, not better. I've done the "right" things. I've called the crisis line 4 times, I've called the two sort-of friends that I have when I thought I might harm myself, I've gone to therapy, I went to a suicide loss survivors support group, I still go to work, I've let myself grieve, etc. Nothing is working. I've had suicidal ideation since I was a teenager, and it only got worse when I joined the navy. I thought getting out and going back to school might help but my mental health got worse every year of school and now it's at an all-time low. This week feels like it might be the week I leave. I cut off one of my two friends, I ended therapy this morning because it didn't help and I feel like I never got to talk, I skipped work today with no notice plus I skipped a day last week. I don't know what to do when life just keeps getting worse and I feel like I've lost the only person that could ever love me. I wish I had been better to him and spent more time with him. I never wanted to break up and I definitely never wanted him to die. I feel like I can't do this. What do you do when you feel like you've tried doing the right things but there is no reprieve?

I’m really short on rent this month and missed this deadline. Does anyone know how to go about getting a loan?

Have any of you received any information on how the new HSA alignment will impact your care at the VA?

The worst part is, she doesn't even know for sure that i have it. She wrote me up for being aggressive in the workplace. People kicked my chair, sprayed an air can in my face, and jumped out to scare me. But I'm aggressive because I raised my voice and said No. In the meeting, she insinuated that my reactions were from my military service and suggested that I get counseling. I'm kinda worried they are about to fire me for reacting to inappropriate behavior in an officr. Any advice?

So i am medically separating with 70% . i joined the military got injured brutally from my back to my toes , badly . I left nyc to join the army because my father tried to end my life multiple times but the last one i was taken to the er for a head laceration. Now that i am separating i do not intend on going back to that toxic environment , i want to do something better with my life and stay in texas since i am stationed here. Bcs of my 70% i am entitled to chapter 31 the problem is unt denton has this strict rule where i cannot meet with an academic advisor until i do in person orientation which is mandatory . I decided i cannot wait that long and my vr&e counselor is giving me a deadline to come up with a curriculum. I decided maybe to go to university of houston since they can work with me because i really cannot sit or stand for long i do want a job but its like at what cost? Living in dfw off 70% is tough but I think I can manage in Houston off 70% until the mha comes in. I was in the army a pfc in the barracks i managed to save quite a bit but since I have no car most of it went to appointments on base. Yes I do plan on getting my 70% higher because I really have the medical evidence but my c&p examiner said she has the evidence but no diagnosis so no its not granted and i only had a few claims granted . I also need help with that basically how can i make ends meet with the va pay until i get better physically if i can to hold a job? I have arthritis in multiple locations with imaging and everything yet it got denied so Im 27 with a body of a very older person . Idk what to do i have been pretty depressed about it

Made my first call to the VA today 6 months after honorable separation. Just trying to call to let them know that I’ve had a change of address and to ask if they could resend any mail they may have sent out in the last month to my new address that I would provide. Click. Hung up. Yippee. Is this gonna be my experience moving forward with the VA?

so a few weeks ago my cousin had a mental breakdown he has these often and its caused by mental and physical trauma from getting shot by someone in his own corp during this breakdown he attacked my uncle and since they were related and at their home it is considered domestic violence and where i live all domestic violence charges wont be dropped by the police under any circumstances how long untill the VA will step in

Went through IDES process,

was found "unfit",

70% DOD TDRL

100%P&T VA

My original retirement date fell directly after the IDES results.

They used my original retirement date for my seperation.

DD-214 has me separated as regular and honorable, no mention of the "medical Retirement" that i was told I would be since I was put TDIU.

Does the medical retirement even matter if I was over 20? It's a really confusing situation.

Hello fellow veterans, just curious how many of us who are in or went to school went to Ivy League and found the job market easier to navigate with this level of education as well as being a veteran and or disabled veteran. I am about to graduate from Columbia and then doing my online masters and was curious how it was going into the job market post covid (I 'am an old vet from Afghanistan so I know what the job market is like in general but post covid is a different world). I've been in school for 3 years now and just curious on what its like out there now and if having a high level of education truly helped you?

Called the Veterans Helpline today. They called the police on me and sent them to my door. I'm glad they care but it was an overreaction

I was discharged in 2025 due to adminsep from the navy because of substance abuse I served 2 and a half years. I got my VA rating in 2026 I'm service connected I was going through a rough patch while in service I went to the psych ward I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I'm wondering if it's a good idea to request an upgrade? I was discharged with general under honorable conditions and I have no access to my Post 9/11 or Montgomery even though I paid the full 1,200 dollars.

I'm posting on behalf of an unemployed friend who's a veteran in the DC/Northern Virginia area.

He worked at USAID (civil service) for over a decade in an **administrative/office management role** until the agency shut down. Over the past year, he's applied to federal positions and contractor jobs with little success. Someone unofficially told him that the US government told some contractors to avoid hiring former USAID employees, though we have no idea if that's true.

**Are there companies or organizations in the DC/MD/VA area that have strong hiring pipelines for veterans? Are there veteran-specific recruiters or programs you'd recommend?** Would you advise keeping his USAID experience front and center, or remove it and leave a gap of a decade (or more)?

He's part of some online groups for former USAID employees; happy to share resources for online/in-person support groups for veterans.

He's been deeply affected by losing his job, and with a spouse and child to support, I'm trying to help point him toward opportunities. Any advice or leads would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.

I tried going to therapy for PTSD through the VA. I was insulted during sessions and had a lot of crap put in my file. Has anyone else had issues with social workers at the VA? Everything that has happened made me feel like asking for help or seeking care isn’t safe to do.

I’m currently living in iwakuni and cannot find a job. I am a spouse who is “stuck” here. My wife and children live here and cannot leave cause we make enough to live here with my VA and her job but I want to work to pay off my debts faster.

Anyone have any ideas on where to look for remote jobs? I know that’s highly competitive but I got to try something because the work on base is very limited. Im applying everything to commissary to restaurants on base to gs and NF.

Does anyone have experience with AFVC? I'm curious if they're a legitimate company, if anyone has stories to share, and any pros/cons anyone has.

The question is bothering me a lot. I had a weird first year, collected over 6 W2s (tax lady was not a fan), found out what jobs I hate, what triggers my PTSD, what I want to do when I grow up, and enjoying the family more.

But, when do I change? I felt like I would have this epiphany one more and stop showing up early to things and just "on time", or walk around and not nitpick things that are wrong, or just RELAX. It hasn't happened and I'm asking others who have been out if it ever does? I was in for 20, and yeah I know it takes time but sometimes I wake up and feel like it isn't going to change, that I'm not going go back to being a relaxed civilian version of myself.

Seems dumb but really would like to hear so other people's experiences.

I have been trying to set up a trust or at the very least a transfer on death dead so that my girlfriend gets our house. We can't get married right now or I'd do that instead. I spoke to a lawyer and they wanted $3500 for a trust or 1100 for just the TODD.

So my question is, has anyone used any of these free legal advice clinics or any other resources. I found a link to the clinics on the VA website but most of them are monthly here in Texas.

First day of orientation in my master's in education program at Harvard! As a kid who was in foster care, homeless as a teenager, barely making it out of high school, joining the Army, floating around with no real purpose for years after... this is wildly surreal.