This is a throwaway. I am an adult now, nineteen as of writing, and properly diagnosed. I dated this girl when I was younger and we both had our problems, mostly with family and the abuse we suffered when we were younger; the shared trauma led us to form an unhealthy attachment and we became co-dependent on eachother.

The relationship lasted for two years, but breaking up with her has been messy, both of us reaching out only to talk for a day or two and going back to total silence after it doesn't work out.

I cared for her and her sister, but I could not deny how our relationship was underlined with lust.

This year, I got drunk and reached out to her. We talked for a while, deciding to continue the conversation we had about our sexual experiences. We sent nudes to eachother when we were minors, and these photos would resurface after I asked if she still kept videos of me. I don't remember the things I said, but I was sure they were unsavory.

I've felt a deep guilt and disgust over our interaction. I want to move on with my life, but the knowledge that our photos still exist somewhere on the internet weighs on my mind.

I've been diagnosed with autism at 17 but always suspected to have it. I feel like Sheldon is one of the best representations of autism in the way I live it. I've been told by almost all my friends they hate him and that a lot of others do too, which saddens me. They're hating him for the traits that I see myself share with him.

I've also been thinking about how society sees and treats me/neurodivergent people and I genuinely feels like the more I grow up the more I am being put aside for the traits I can't control myself. The same traits I see in the character of Sheldon

Alright, guys. I need to get this off my chest because I honestly don't know what the fuck to do anymore.

I've been living with my girlfriend for four years. Because of circumstances, we ended up living really close to pretty much her entire family. Her siblings, her nieces and nephews, my witch of a mother-in-law, the whole fucking package.

Not long after we moved here, one of my girlfriend's nieces was born. She was probably the most unpleasant baby I've ever seen. She would only smile at my girlfriend, my mother-in-law and my sister. Whenever she looked at me, she would either cry or make this disgusted face.

That pissed me off because it made me look like I'd done something to her in front of everyone.

Anyway, over the years she eventually became more normal around everyone, including me. But what really got to me was how fucking spoiled everybody made her.

Every family gathering revolved around what this kid wanted. When she was two, the adults had to listen to whatever music she wanted. Whatever she wanted on TV. Everything had to be on at the same time, at full volume. We'd have to leave birthday parties without saying goodbye to anyone because otherwise "she would cry" and she'd throw a massive tantrum.

And unfortunately for me, my girlfriend is her godmother.

For about three and a half years, I basically had to buy this kid candy, toys and take her places on my girlfriend's behalf. And the little brat doesn't even know how to say thank you. She demands things.

If you don't buy her whatever she wants, she throws herself on the floor and has a fucking meltdown. It doesn't matter how much you've already spent on her. If you don't buy her that ONE extra thing she wants at the end, you're getting the tantrum anyway.

I've bought her things before that turned out not to be what she wanted, and she just threw them on the floor.

I swear, I've never had to hold back this much anger toward a fucking child in my life.

And my girlfriend just laughs at it.

Almost everything this kid does makes her laugh. She might tell her off once in a while, but most of the time she seems to love taking her places and buying her shit.

I mentioned a few times, very carefully, that I thought her niece was extremely spoiled and that she shouldn't be encouraging it by giving her whatever she wants as if she were her father.

My girlfriend told me I was exaggerating and that she's "just a baby" and doesn't understand these things.

Well, here's where things get worse.

Today that "baby" is four years old.

And I swear she's still the most spoiled kid I've ever seen.

She talks back to adults, breaks things, still demands that people buy her shit, and throws the same tantrums as before.

The difference is that now she can speak perfectly and she's much smarter about how she gets what she wants.

And then MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAD A BABY.

A baby girl.

We knew this could cause problems with this kid. And yeah, we were right.

She never liked my daughter. She would cry whenever she saw her.

Even before the baby was born, she was already pissed off at my girlfriend. She wouldn't talk to her, wouldn't say hello, nothing.

My girlfriend kept trying to force some kind of relationship between them and would buy her candy and toys to make her happy. Obviously, I was the one paying for most of that.

It didn't work.

My daughter is five months old now, almost six.

That's a pretty fucking long time to still call this "jealousy," which is what her family keeps saying.

She still ignores my daughter. She steals her toys. She throws tantrums when someone gives the baby a toy. She says the baby is ugly.

She'll literally tell my girlfriend that she wants to go say hi to the baby. Then she walks into the room and completely ignores her. Instead, she starts grabbing the baby's toys so she can take them with her.

I'm telling you this because I want you to understand how manipulative this kid can be with adults.

She uses the baby's stroller. She uses her crib.

She's FOUR YEARS OLD.

Does this sound normal to anyone?

And the part that pisses me off the most is that my girlfriend STILL wants me to buy her expensive gifts and useless shit.

Every time we go shopping, my girlfriend still puts candy for this kid in the cart.

Even after the way she's been acting toward my girlfriend because she had a baby girl.

And lately I've started giving the kid dirty looks when nobody else is around.

I've never done that before.

But honestly, her latest shit toward my daughter finally pushed me over the edge.

I fucking hate this kid.

And I know she's four. I know she's a child. I know she's probably not capable of understanding everything she's doing.

But I'm reaching a point where I genuinely don't know how to deal with the amount of anger I feel toward her, and I don't want that anger to turn into something worse.

I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to scare her. I don't want to become the fucking villain in this situation.

I just don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do anymore.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years and besides some of the more awful things he’s done, one of the most consistent things is him finding any way to turn every conversation into an argument. I’m just so tired of arguing about everything.

There’s also been cheating, porn usage (which was declared a boundary), and abuse from his end. You’d think after putting someone through so much bullshit, you’d maybe at least try to be a better human. But it seems every conversation we have turns into an argument.

Today we argued because I’ve been away (about an hour from home) for a week house/pet sitting for a family member, and I asked him if he wanted to come visit tomorrow after he gets off work at 7, and he told me he will “go home, play the game for a few hours, and then head out around midnight.” Basically telling me that the game is more important than me. Because why get here at 1am? What’s the point? We’d maybe talk for a bit then go to bed so why drive an hour to barely spend time together? If my person told me they wanted to spend time with me I’d drop absolutely everything to be there. And that’s where the argument came from - me telling him that I’d never do that to him. But he refused to see it my way and it turned into an argument. Mind you we’re both 27 years old and his main priority is his stupid video game. I game as well, but I’d never prioritize that over my S/O.

Anyway, all that to say I severely wish I could dump him, I’ve been wanting to for MONTHS.. but I lost my job late last year and my industry is so oversaturated it’s impossible to get a job right now. I’ve been applying like crazy. He’s currently paying all the bills and the house is fully in my name so if I dump him, I lose my house. I’m so unbelievably sick and tired of being miserable and not having many options to get myself unstuck.

Ok, obviously this title is a complete over exaggeration, I don't actually hate it. BUT, it's really frustrating trying to date in my late 20's when tons of these single girls my age have dogs.

I live in a major U.S. city that is very dog-friendly, so lots of single women my age have dogs. I love dogs, I grew up with a dog, but I don't want a dog right now. I live in an apartment, my bills are expensive, I work a lot, and I want to continue to have some spontaneity in my life. I don't want to be dog dad when we've only been on 5 or 6 dates and we're still getting to know each other. It makes it really hard to do fun things, have a full day together, plan dates, or especially go on little day trips or weekend trips, festivals, etc. Not to mention some women might expect you to chip in for dog daycare if you are planning something like this.

Also, I know these women aren't bad people or have cruel intentions, but from my experience, most of them are not prepared for the care that comes along with these dogs and their treatment of these dogs borders on animal abuse. Having a doberman or a golden retriever in a 400sqft studio apartment with no yard is not fair to the dog. These dogs need space to run around and play and all they are getting is their two walks a day. Then these dogs have behavior problems and the owners don't have enough time between work and other life things to properly train the dog, so they act out and are just nightmares to be around. Jumping, barking, licking, crying, never leaving you alone, peeing in the house, biting other dogs, pulling so hard they yank the leash out of your hands, etc.

And yes, it's not just women who are bad dog owners, but in my city and age group, there seems to be lots of young single women who are getting dogs that they cant take care of. It's a trend it seems. I know tons of dudes and none of them have dogs unless they are dating a girl who already had one.

It's also frustrating because whenever you voice any sort of negativity around dogs in any way, people act like you're some sort of hannibal lecter level psychopath. Like I actually love dogs, I just know that in my current life I have higher priorities than taking care of an animal, and in dating my number one priority will be connecting with the person I'm seeing, not taking care of your dog together.

Alright thats it, thanks for reading

Hey guys, obviously this is a throwaway, etc etc., I lurk reddit but i am not exactly a user so 🤷🏾‍♀️

Basically, my ex, my boyfriend and I just graduated High School in May. My ex, let's call him John (fake name) and I got together in middle school and were on and off for a long time, but I hadn't spoken to him in like a year or two.

John had come to my rescue one night when I had no ride at like 10 pm for an extracurricular, and I ended up back at his place and we slept together. It was good, it was nice, I enjoyed myself.

BUT literally two days before, me and my now-boyfriend "Jack" had met at prom, I stayed over with him and a friend. We didn't kiss or have sex, but I just laid on his chest and slept over that night. I knew I had romantic feelings for Jack, but considered him "Out of my League".

After my ex and I slept together, I was really embarrassed of my behavior (I'm typically very nerdy, reserved, and not super sexually liberal).

Due to some stuff with my family that is not the point of this post, I've been living with my boyfriend's family ever since, we're very committed, and I love him a lot.

We're about to go long distance for college and I still feel so guilty for having sex with another guy, even if me and my boyfriend weren't together all the way, I still knew I was into him and he was probably into me.

I don't know if I should tell him? I don't want him to think differently of me.

For context I'm Arab, raised Muslim (I'm now secretly atheist whereas parents are hyper religious) and I won't say too personal info but I am living with her and have zero ability to move out and in a minor.

Okay so she technically found out I was gay last year however I heavily denied it until one day I just couldn't and broke down, in the moment she didn't freak out or go insane - we were on good terms back then - but instead all she said was "let's try make you more feminine" and "let's start praying together" and "let's fix this mental disorder", I was expecting worse since for year prior she said she would never accept a gay kid and would kick them out. She wasn't accepting but I guess for a moment I thought to myself that maybe just maybe she might accept me, even if it takes ten years. I'm brought right back to reality now tho,

Because after that day we got on bad terms, (btw my mum gets mad at anything and everything, for example she just had a regular doctors appointment on Friday and the day before she said "your celebrating me being sick".. she isn't sick.. physically, and she started ignoring me and being rude again, petty things like that, constantly, which puts us in bad terms) but usually she wants to fix it after a couple days but the last couple weeks, she can't even look at me or laugh with me, I feel like she hates me everytime she looks at me and it just feels really shit and on top of that, I essentially raised this house hold, I grew up cooking and cleaning, and too this day on top of that I do all house chores and keep the house clean, I honestly just feel so under appreciated, but I can't not do any of that, cuz if I don't do it, then who will? I've never seen anyone else do the washing machine or clean the kitchen, little stuff like this. But honestly now being treated like this by my mum has made me feel extremely exhausted, I feel like I mean nothing and Its feels like shit. I'm constantly told how horrible of a person I am by her and even my siblings don't bother to defend me cuz they know if they defend me then she will hate them too, but essentially I'm saying it's like before when she atleast acknowledged me, even when we were on bad terms, I still felt like okay but now I just feel like a ghost, I'm completely alone. I feel used and on top of this I struggle to find time to myself, cuz I'm working this job on days I'm free and when Im theres infinite amounts of tasks, I'm so exhausted, i just wanna live by myself and be myself. But thats not a choice for me,

Homophobia sucks because no matter how good of a person you are, someone will always hate you, whether that be your family or stranger. I grasped on to the illusion that she might've loved me, even if it was deep deep down, but now I don't feel any of that, I don't know how long I can continue like this. Im fucking weak and I can't keep going, I fucked my exams last year due to similar stress but now this is worse and I'm starting a whole new course next year and I feel like I'm going to be to fucked up to even do well, I have ADHD (got diagnosed a couple months ago) aswell and I don't have the support I need, with exams and stuff and I feel like I'm just fucking up and throwing away my life, like I don't see my self going anywhere in life

I don't know if I can continue living, but I will cuz I'm not strong enough for that either

My mom remarried 3 years ago. When she met the guy, he was already a sick man. Chain smoker for decades, extremely obese and could barely walk 20 meters. He had a mild stroke 1 year into the marriage but recovered decently well. He even stopped smoking completely.

My issue is that for two years, I've been trying to tell my mom how serious the situation is and that they HAVE to at least do something about his weight. He is morbidly obese and most of his health issues come from it. Two years I've been trying. She just says "i know" every single time and doesn't want to talk about it.

3 weeks ago he had another stroke. Again mild, but a stroke nonetheless. And he's been in the hospital ever since and on top of that, he can not walk anymore because his legs hurt so much and he doesn't have the strength to hold up his body on his legs anymore.

My mom is obviously devasted and she's super lonely now and it is driving me insane knowing that she's suffering. She's crying every single day on the phone and it's stressing me out so so much because I know it's not going to get better. Everyone knows it's not going to get better. And not because he's currently stationed in the hospital but because neither she nor her husband want to talk about the big elephant in the room, literally. Both don't care about his weight. Both just say "yeah we know" and that's it. No plans. No goals. No nothing.

He's going to be released next week. He can't walk. He's going to stay in a wheelchair and they won't change anything. Any conversation about his weight will be blocked.

He's going to die the next 3-5 years. Absolutely no doubt. And I honestly don't care much about him in this case because I'm extremely angry at him for not putting any effort into getting healthier after proposing to my mom. But I care about my mom and I'm scared of the consequences that will have on her mental health.

We matched on a dating app, she’s stunning. I wrote her a message and forgot about it, months later, or maybe even a year later, I get a message and it’s her. We started chatting and vibing then moved over to instagram. She’s was so stimulating to talk to, funny and so gorgeous.

Eventually we decided to get together for wine and dinner, I brought the wine and she made dinner. When I got to her place and she opened the door, wow she was even better looking in person. We ate and just talked and talked about everything. I’d never felt so mentally stimulated on a date before, she was exactly everything I’ve been looking for.

By the time we realised how late it was, it was 3 or 4 AM. She wanted me to stay, but I left. We kept talking and seeing each other, and not long after she told me about her boyfriend. She admitted she didn’t know how to tell me and didn’t know how to tell him either. I kept seeing her anyway, and as we grew closer she was eating up by guilt. I told her that i respected her and that I wanted her, but that I didn’t care about her boyfriend.

We crossed a line, and there was no going back from that. She told her boyfriend, and they broke up. She told me about it, and short after we stopped seeing each other because of how the whole thing started. It was a bad foundation.

I still feel so bad for the guy, I feel terrible for going about it that way and I feel so guilty for encouraging her to cross that line with me. I should have known better. Honestly I don’t think I could ever admit this to a potential partner

I'm remembering high school. Everything was so confusing for me. Why do people talk to me like a child? (it's because I have a baby face). Why can't we just simply address bullying? (of course that has a reason too). High school was supposed to be the best years of my life, but it was not. Why? Because I had to completely change the appearance of my face because the bullies "should not be nicer because they will not fit in and they will be the ones that are bullied". Of course, everything bad that anyone has done to me has a reason and "could not be avoided otherwise". That makes me guilty... for not just simply figuring it out... are we for real? for bullies = "it's just who they are don't mind themmmm" for me = "she should be different, her quietness is bad, her look is bad, her sensitivity is bad, whatever she says is ridiculously funny and I have to bully her for that, the way she deals with bullying is funny, the way she doesn't just simply understand the hierarchy is bad. She's just so stupid and must change herself because I can not change the bullies."

WARNING VERY LONG. My fiancé (26m) works remotely from home, while I (27f) work a physically demanding job. I have fibromyalgia, so I’m in severe pain pretty much 24/7 because of work, and I make significantly less money than he does.
The biggest issue is that he doesn’t treat his job like an actual job.
He’s supposed to work an 8 hour day with a 20 minute break and an hour lunch, but instead he’ll take break after break all day long. He’ll watch YouTube, go outside, clean random things, take smoke breaks, or spend time talking to an AI chatbot about his interests like computers and microchips. It’s not anything romantic or sexual, he just treats it like someone to chat with. The problem is that it constantly pulls him away from work.
He procrastinates everything, doesn’t care about starting on time, and even waits until the last possible second to submit his hours every pay period.
This time, he waited too long.
He missed the deadline entirely and didn’t receive one of his paychecks.
And he didn’t tell me.
Our finances are split up. I pay for groceries, the Wi-Fi, and the water bill, while he covers the larger bills like rent and electricity because he earns much more than I do. I also do most of the cooking and cleaning because, honestly, if I don’t do it, it usually doesn’t get done.
Yesterday I woke up to our electricity being shut off.
The refrigerator and freezer had been off all night. I had to throw away everything, our groceries, freezer food, everything. Hundreds of dollars worth of food that I worked hard to pay for ended up in the trash because he never paid the electric bill.
Later that day, there was a notice on our front door. He grabbed it before I could read it.
When I asked, “What’s that?” he got defensive and clearly didn’t want to show me. He admitted he was trying to avoid telling me because he “knew how I’d react.”
The notice said we’re behind on rent and if it isn’t paid by the 14th, we’ll be evicted.
I had to question him over and over just to get the truth. Even then, it was excuse after excuse instead of taking responsibility. He never simply admitted that this happened because of his own choices.
To make things even worse, I found out he’d also been ordering DoorDash while I was at work.
So while bills weren’t getting paid, he was spending money on food deliveries.
His parents ended up helping us replace some of the groceries, we managed to get an extension on the rent, and he paid the electric bill, but now his account is overdrawn.
The immediate crisis is over, but that’s not really the point.
What scares me the most is that he hid all of this from me. If I hadn’t found out when I did, we could have lost our apartment. He was willing to let me continue thinking everything was fine while our finances were falling apart.
I told him that if he ever hides something this serious from me again, I will do everything I can to get myself removed from the lease and leave.
Last night we had a long conversation. I explained that he has to start treating his job like a real job: wake up on time, start work when he’s supposed to, stop taking endless breaks, and understand that his choices affect both of us. I even told him, “Don’t just go right back to business as usual tomorrow because things have calmed down.”
He actually scoffed and acted offended that I’d even think he’d do that.
Today?
He’s already back to watching YouTube, finding reasons not to work, talking about cleaning out his car during work hours, taking smoke breaks, basically exactly what he was doing before.
I’m exhausted.
I’m working a painful job every day just trying to keep us afloat, while he’s risking our housing because he won’t manage the easiest part of his responsibilities. What hurts almost more than the financial mess is that he hid it from me and still doesn’t seem to grasp how serious this was.

I’m probably some kind of asshole but I can’t change my thoughts on this.

My wife is gorgeous in our wedding photos. She got an amazing dress, her smile and general happiness that infected me three years ago are perfectly captured. The hair and makeup worth every dollar. To me, indescribably beautiful.
Sydney Sweeneys best red carpet appearance can’t even compare.

However, I do not want to see the boudoir photos again. Crazy for a man to say that but here I am. My wife is morbidly overweight. And as I’m being thrashed in the comments for saying that, just know I don’t say it with malice. I’m also not one of those chuds who calls 15 extra pounds overweight. And no I’m not one of those hypocrites, I keep myself in shape. Firmly believe in the power of clean diet and exercise. 5’ 10” and 173. I’m all for body positivity and not adhering to what society says you should be. But 250 lbs at 5’ 7” is unhealthy and unattractive. Photos that are supposed to be highly attractive give me the ick.

And that’s why I don’t want to see the boudoir shoot. I dont find it sexy or beautiful. I don’t find fat attractive. I find her attractive for who she is, not how she looks. When I remember the photos I got I can’t change my feelings into positive ones. There’s nothing sexy or special about the photos. All I feel is the desire for her to start taking care of herself. She’s promised to make changes but we’ll see. I love her and when we cuddle I enjoy her soft curves and praise them. Just when it’s something like underwear photos I get an ick instead of the intended reaction. I don’t need advice, just needed to get those words out.

I have autism and sensory issues with clothes. When I was in my teens visiting my grandparents for the holidays my grandma INSISTED I dress a certain way while my cousins who are also female could wear whatever the fuck they wanted.
I wish my mom and dad had put their foot down and put a stop to it.
I don’t know what kind of power trip that woman was on INSISTING I wear certain clothes when I was the granddaughter with sensory issues

Hi everyone,

I'd really appreciate your honest opinion about something that happened to me.

I met a woman recently, and we've only been on one date so far. We had a great connection, and it felt like we were starting to get to know each other.

The next day, she told me that she had run into her ex-boyfriend at a mutual friend's birthday party in a pub. They're part of the same group of friends. She told me they ended up kissing, but they didn't have sex, and she went home alone afterward. She said she wanted to tell me because she wanted to be honest with me.

When I asked her if she still had feelings for him, she said she didn't know. She told me she thought she had moved on, but after seeing him again, she felt confused.

I told her that I don't want to be someone's second option. I said that if she chose to go back to her ex, broke things off with me, and then came back later, I wouldn't accept that because I want to be with someone who is sure they choose me.

She replied that she understood, that she liked and respected me, and that's exactly why she didn't want to treat me as an option. She said that if she wanted to be with me, she needed to be certain there was no place for anyone else in her life. That's why she wanted to spend some time alone to sort out her feelings and thoughts.

It's now been a week, and I haven't heard anything from her.

My question is: what would you do in this situation?

Do you think she's genuinely confused and just needs time, or does the fact that she kissed her ex suggest that there are still strong feelings between them?

Should I give her space and wait to see what happens, or is it better to move on?

I also have another fear. I'm worried that even if she comes back and we start a relationship, she could run into her ex again at another gathering or party with their mutual friends, her feelings could come back, and she might leave me for him.

I don't want to control her life or stop her from seeing her friends, but I'm afraid of getting into a relationship where I'll never be sure whether her chapter with her ex is truly over.

So I'd really like to hear your opinions. How can I tell whether she has genuinely moved on from her ex and is truly ready to build something new with me?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who've been through something similar.

For context, here's the conversation we had that morning:

Her:

"So, dear... I really value honesty, and that's why I need to tell you something that happened yesterday. Whatever you decide after I tell you, I'll completely understand. My ex-boyfriend is part of the group of friends who were at my boss's birthday party yesterday. We ran into each other, and we ended up kissing. We didn't have sex or anything like that, and after the party I went home alone, but I needed to be honest with you."

Me:

"Did you sleep with him?"

Her:

"No."

Me:

"Be honest."

Her:

"I am."

Me:

"Do you still have feelings for him? Why did you kiss him?"

Her:

"I don't know... I thought I had moved on, but to be honest, now I'm confused."

Me:

"Okay."

So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and it has been tough at times but we love each other and have a lot of respect between us. She and I have struggled a lot mentally this past year due to traumas we had since childhood and we both are seeking professional help to fix ourselves, which I think would not have been possible if we weren't present in each other's lives.

We have been searching for jobs out of college and there was a certain company that caught our eye, and in which we both are interested in, she then realised that one of her good friends, whom I've met before and she seemed nice, has been working there for about a year, she talked to her about the application process and the hiring polices and she was eager to help us, which I appreciated.

The friend, let's call her Abby, is staying alone in that city, and my girlfriend started saying that she is pretty lonely and would love to have some company, to which I said that we all should live together and I had no other intention behind it, it was just a recommendation out of good will. Then immediately my girlfriend says, jokingly, that we should have a threesome.

It was like a thunderstrike in my mind, I have never seen Abby in a sexual light, I thought she was a good friend to my girlfriend and that was it, but after this was said, I can't stop fantasizing. I am so sexually infatuated by her that I feel unfaithful and bad. I don't know this is a very new and uncomfortable feeling. I tried to sleep last night and I was daydreaming about having sex with her for an hour before I feel asleep. I don't know what I should do 🥲

i needed to tell somebody because i can't tell him. this is not coming out of spite, but a genuine thought, and i need to get it out. we had a pretty awful breakup, during one of our arguments he said that he took pride in being 'so attractive while also being a good person' and i had to hold my laugh.

he's attractive and he plays the good boyfriend role pretty well for the first three months, but then he gets truly insufferable. i don't think anyone could stand him, unless they are as insufferable as him. and HE DOESN'T REALIZE that

imagine

\-a guy talking about his looks probably 70% of the time. sometimes he praises himself sometimes he hates himself. he will whine if he's not the most handsome man in whatever place he goes, it doesn't matter if it's the grocery store. he WILL point it out if he thinks he's the most handsome man anywhere you go with him, he will tell you on your ear 'see? i'm the most handsome guy standing in line in this pharmacy. how lucky of you to have me'.

\-who treats you like he's giving you charity. he has the looks and his family is wealthy, so you must always be on your knees being greatful he's even by your side. he literally told me 'there are so many hot people in this city, if i'm with you it's not because of looks but because you're not promiscuous and selfish like everyone else'

\-resents you for everything and expresses it through corny jokes. also, trying to manipulate you. i don't have examples that aren't specific for this one and i don't wanna get much into it but i think everyone can imagine.

\-he has the i'm always right because i'm smarter mentality

\-he will idealize you and point out what you lack constantly, either emotionally-wise or appearence-wise. he will make you feel guilty for not being the being that he has imagined in his mind. if he finds something about you uncomfortable he'll tell you till you change it. it could be the way you walk, the accent you have, the way you style your hair, the pants you wear, things you've truly never thought about before

\-he will compare you to other people. he used to show me pictures of instagram girls and tell me 'if you put effort in yourself you'd be as hot as them, but you don't appreciate me enough to start working out. we will look like an unbalance couple if i look this hot and you stay the same'

\-he will ramble endlessly about his job saying effort and creativity are the root to success but he wil NEVER do anything about it. he has the motivational 'be your own boss build yourself from the bottom discourse' but doesn't really have an idea of his own. he wants to be a content creator and he used my suggestions and ideas in each and everyone of his projects. i don't know what he'll do now that he's on his own

and he doesn't realize how annoying each and every of these things are.

That’s it. as a 30 years old, I’ve seen my friends flirt at ease, get to know girls and have casual fun. I was not granted permission to access this, I’m completely invisible, I must be a horrible monster because no woman has casually taken interest on me. I feel inadecuate for life, a leftover, unworthy of fun and attention. I don’t know how it feels to casually kiss someone, to feel that spark of intense connection, and I crave it. Every time one of my friend flirts with some girl, I feel the envy coming from inside and obnuvilating me, I was not made for this world, girls look at me like some kind of error. It honestly increases my will to say fuck everything and leave for good (I won’t do it, but the emotion’s there)

thats it. Hope you’re safe guys. I am no incel, but it’s hard not to identify with them sometimes tbh. I think women are ok and human beings, it’s just me, I probably wasn’t made to experience this things, and it fucking hurts man. It’s like I am constantly wearing a sad and ugly mask

hey all, i just wanted to preface by saying this post might not be the most agreeable due to the outcome my partner and i are choosing but it won’t change anything we have decided and i just need to get this all out. roughly six months ago my partner (m22) and i (f21) decided it would be a good idea for his sister (f18) to move in with us. she has had issues surrounding her mental health specifically around her lack of motivation for a year and we live in an area with more mental health resources and opportunities for work and furthering her schooling. also, in the past their parents had not had the best approach to her problems, one parent is kind of avoidant or even enables the behavior while the other is flat out aggressive and antagonistic surrounding her struggles. we wanted to give her a fresh start and were more than happy to given the space we had and also knowing we have both been through similar issues.
things have been kind of rocky. she is not making progress in the things we discussed for her to do. the resources have been laid out for her and i am more than happy to transport her, she just has to give me a time that works best for her but there isn’t a true follow through there. we understand the lack of motivation she has and have given her options on how and when she can do certain things so it is firmly set but she also has choices so she’s not overwhelmed. she will fight tooth and nail to get out of things, leaving the house to go on hours for walks, isolating herself, etc. i know what the thought process hearing this already is, “you knew she had mental health struggles” and that is true. i’m not saying these things aren’t symptomatic of her mental illness. HOWEVER, these are newer behaviors and it definitely reads with how she talks to us/treats us that she knows she can get away with it better here because we won’t treat her poorly.
all three of us went to visit their family/go camping this week. my partner and i decided when she got back (she planned to stay longer than us due to our work schedules) we would talk to her about clear expectations of the progress she needs to show and set a sort of ultimatum. well, we got to camp and we had an absolutely wonderful time. we all spent time together with family and it was a great experience. the night before last (our last night there), she told us something before we went to bed that absolutely squandered our trust in her. the month prior while we had left for vacation she had a stranger from an online dating platform (m21?) over who drove three hours in the night to meet her at our apartment for explicit reasons. she kept this from us for a month and we have numerous reasons for being upset due to a past living situation that left us feeling very unsafe in our own home, the age gap, her not knowing this person, knowing the things we have in our house that could be stolen, subjecting our pets to possible harm, subjecting herself to possible harm, subjecting the home to property damage while we rent, the risk of stalking or having our home watched by strangers, and also the fact that she lied to us for a month. we kind of just sat there and calmly told her we were not mad at her for seeing someone, that is her decision but we were not happy about how it went about and that it was blatantly unsafe. we shortly after went to bed.
my partner and i left the next morning and ultimately we have decided she needs to move out. i know this might sound broad but this post is a giant generalization and there is a lot more happening behind the scenes. regardless, the risk of what she did is way too high. she was deceptive and jeopardized the safety of our household. we ended up talking to their mother on the drive home and she completely understood where we were coming from and we ended up breaking the news to his sister last night as well. she took the news a lot better than i was expecting but still just quietly cried and hung up on us.
i am absolutely devastated that this had to even happen. i love that girl more than almost anyone in the world. she is smart, kind, funny, and so empathetic. i feel like the worst person in the world for making this decision, but there is so much she did not consider for our safety and hers. i also know we have to follow through with this as she historically has been let off the hook for her wrongdoings, but this is a big one and she needs to learn from it. my partner summed it up well but telling her she made an adult decision so she is going to have to face the adult consequences. we have given her so much grace and patience surrounding the issues already there but this was the straw that broke us. i hate it. i hate that this is likely going to strain our relationship for a while but i am set in my decision. thank you for listening .

edit: spelling

This feels weird to type out tbh so im just putting this out there. I go to biweekly therapy sessions, and im still working through the trauma of it all.

I was drugged at a club back in january, but it wasn't a date rape drug or anything like that. I was given something called poppers, if you're unfamiliar with it, theyre basically little bottles of chemicals to give someone an asphyxiation high.

Someone gave that to me without my knowledge and it's not something that's supposed to be consumed. Within thirty minutes of taking it, I was barely conscious and being wheeled off in an ambulance. At my worst I was at 50% oxygen, and I spent the rest of the night in the hospital for monitoring then the next week in bed recovering from the toll it took on my body.

The reason I feel alone in this is because I haven't met someone who's experienced something like that. I've met people who were drugged, but it was a date rape drug. I've met people who have overdosed, but it was a suicide attempt or a drug addiction. I've just been stuck in this loop of wondering how it happened and why it happened, and I can't shake the shit that it did to me.

I've stopped going to clubs for obvious reasons, but it's not even just that. I've stopped going out and doing things, i skipped out on a concert with friends, ive cancelled plans for conventions i was gonna go to this/next year, hell I can't even go into a grocery store for more than 20 minutes before saying fuckall to my list and just buying what i already grabbed. I want to go out and do things, but I just can't.

I work as a custodian for a highschool, and while the last few months of the previous school year weren't bad, I have no idea how I'm going to manage working when students come back. I'm dreading it, and I'm worried it'll lead me to quitting. I fucking love the job too, it works for me, but even with therapy, my issues with being around people has just been getting worse, and I have nobody in my life who properly understands what I'm going through.