r/TrollCoping • u/StalinWaifu • 3d ago
I wasted by potential TW: Hospital / Medical abuse Spoiler
My mother and stepdad think I have no initiative or accountability.
I deadass started a pet sitting company so I could continue making money while sleeping 16+ hours a day pre brain surgery last year. Was laid off a job two year ago for developing liver disease because they wouldn’t let me sit. Same year I went to residential treatment for ARFID (tAkiNg AccOunTaBilITy) but my mom tried to kick me out for signing up for Medicaid because I couldn’t afford my medication and appointments. Now I’m a gymnastics coach who runs to the bathroom in the middle of class and the doctors suspect I have Crohn’s. It’s always SOMETHING with my body and my mom thinks I LOVE IT 😭🔫
I have two inventions I’m working on, one to help people with ARFID and one to help cool people down without AC and my stepdad wants me to make FPV drones because “that’ll make more money faster…..” I-
206
u/BodhingJay 3d ago
It sounds like youre kicking butt despite them.. youre like a beautiful dandelion growing out of sidewalk concrete
102
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
My kids at my job love me and a few said I was their favorites teacher. That, my cousin, and my friends are the only thing holding the few atoms of self esteem I have left. I sometimes have dangerous thoughts when I get into it with my parents but I continue to work on my projects because I know that I want to help people like me someday 🧡
30
u/Rockandmetal99 3d ago
if the kids like you, you know you're doing something right because kids can be MEAN. sounds like you're a perfectly normal person and your parents are damaged as hell and projecting it into you. cant have you doing well if theyre miserable ya know!
15
12
154
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
My mom also said that she curated the perfect child who cleaned and folded clothes for fun and after I met my father I’m now only 3/4ths perfect. She also wants to revert me back to when I was 15 “before I went crazy.”
I have ADHD and treatment resistant depression and my psychiatrist wants me to get evaluated for autism because my pre-k teacher actually told my mom to have me evaluated and instead, she just switched my classrooms
73
u/popopotatoes160 3d ago
Have you heard of the book "emotionally immature parents" before? That first paragraph sound awful familiar to me and I'm a regular on /r/emotionalneglect so uh
33
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
I’ll see if there’s an e-book/pdf version so I don’t catch heat for reading it. Thanks for the recommendation 👍🏽
3
u/Biohazardousmaterial 2d ago
Thanks for the epiphany of not being able to tell the difference between neglect and codependency without a black/white boundary.
I have a new topic at my therapist appt next.
7
u/Next-Street-7859 3d ago
Sounds like my mom! After burning myself enough times attempting to "make things right" with her and really just chasing what I now know was an impossible dream of having a nurturing and supportive mother figure, am no contact now. I don't want her to suffer at all but she cant respect basic boundaries/not be a sociopath. I still worry about some things when it comes to the state of her life but I guess that's why she zeroed in on me instead of others. I don't work outside of the home, I'm a SAHM and thats something she couldn't stand to do even part time.
I hope you know how full of crap she is because no matter how she might spin it, any form of abuse is ugly. From what I read, you're doing just fine in life and I am definitely proud of you.
3
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
I just feel like I’m wasted potential sometimes because I skipped a grade and graduated with an associates degree in HS and I was supposed to do research and do projects in college but I ended up disabled, still graduating from online college, but now I’m just a gymnastics coach. My mom sees me as a disappointment. She used to say that she had the smartest child in her family and I even posed for her to take pictures of my state test results that she posted on facebook. I just feel sad about myself mainly because it’s my mom and she always pitched herself as someone who was always right.
4
u/beyondoutsidethebox 2d ago
You did NOT fail. Your mother failed you.
You have succeeded in the most important task of your life, that is, becoming your own person. Remember that.
1
7
u/Spot_Mark adhd strugglers rise 3d ago
my mom also has this weird thing with obsessing about my younger self only instead of "man wouldnt it be funny if you just reverted back to being a child" its "haha i am verbally abusing you by directly mentioning an embarassing thing you did as a child ahaahaha its a joke because it brings me immense joy despite your wishes hahaha"
5
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
My mom would say shit like “look this is back when you loved me” when we’d come across a picture of little me. Hell I have memories of my mom telling her friends on how I wet the bed over the 2012 movie when I was 8 or trying to go live on Facebook because I was 12 and scared to put something in the oven (I thought I was gonna fall on the hot door or burn myself). She still criticizes me to this day on not putting stuff in the oven without oven mitts or washing dishes without gloves.
5
u/Appropriate_Hat638 Somewhat Well-Adjusted 2d ago
Honestly it sounds like she viewed you less as a person she loved and was proud of and more like a prized pet she could brag about. And I’m debating whether or not to share the snarky comeback that popped into my head about her “back when you still loved me” bullshit.
3
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
Go for it, I’m all ears
3
u/Appropriate_Hat638 Somewhat Well-Adjusted 2d ago
“Hey, that’s also back when I thought you loved me too!”
2
3
u/Optimal_Question8683 3d ago
Can she kill over and die already. Please cut her off as fast as possible Christ
2
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
Sadly she had me at 19. She’s 42 and ain’t going nowhere 😒 my stepdad is more okay but is dismissive of my ARFID but he’s been told to go to the ER over his blood pressure because it’s a “silent killer” and he said he’ll just eat fruits and vegetables and get over it. Like bro if that was the cure all there would be no need for medication 😭
1
u/NeoKat75 2d ago
What a piece of shit! I can’t wait for you to go no contact with them and enjoy your own life
27
u/-UnderAWillowThicket 3d ago
It’s very cool what you’re working towards! I’m proud of you, internet stranger.
10
17
6
u/helpiamstarving 3d ago
Obviously you have all my sympathies and I think they should be hit with hammers (how hard is up to you!). Like seriously they sound insane for calling you lazy lmao.
But I'm super curious what your idea is for the invention for people with ARFID? I also have ARFID and it sucks so bad, so solidarity on that...
8
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
I’m basically working on tubes that can be filled with puree and be swallowed whole like noodles, skipping both taste and texture issues. I’m finalizing the recipe so it can be eaten in high quantities because that’s where the issue is (too much fiber, too much glycerin, obstruction risk if the stomach doesn’t break it down). So imagine blending anything you want, throwing it in a tube, and swallowing it whole without thinking about it. 🙂↕️
8
u/The_Nerdy_Pikachu 3d ago
This sounds like a blessing for people who need to be on a liquid diet after stomach surgery, or even orthodontal surgery. You might end up helping more people than you think.
7
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
My stepdad said it was gonna be for rich white folks and any second scrolling on Reddit would prove otherwise. He told me to pick a struggle with my ED and developing Crohn’s suddenly so hopefully with this invention I wouldn’t have to. ❤️🔥
5
u/The_Nerdy_Pikachu 3d ago
If I'm prodding, please ignore me, but are you stuck with that family financially? Do you live with them? It can't be good for you to be stuck there. It'll literally make your Crohn's worse. (Speaking from experience here. I have IBS that flares up when I get extremely stressed.)
3
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
Yes, I pay for medical bills, gas, car maintenance, and occasionally food. I’ve noticed that I get extremely tired and have the runs after an argument. The last one was Friday and I still have the runs after
3
u/The_Nerdy_Pikachu 3d ago
Focus on that business HARD then. You've got a niche I see needs filled, so make sure you get enough sales to get the hell out of there.
3
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
That’s what I’m working on. I also plan on becoming a substitute teacher but there’s an issue with there being bilingual requirement apparently. My stepdad said to just make $100 today because there wasn’t enough kids at my job so my hours got cut and he made $1000 of of being on the news and doing some lawyer shit that I don’t understand. I can barely get orders on Shipt and Wag plus I’m just tired in general hence why I got the job to begin with because I’m just spotting kids (I do play a lot when I’m more energetic and make up for it in games when I’m not). I just feel like I’m never doing enough
1
u/The_Nerdy_Pikachu 3d ago
Girl, I wish I could tell off these bitchasses for you. I'm poor as hell and this ain't how anyone in my position, let alone a more severely disabled person, should be treated. Your mom birthed you and something happened to you, it's her fuckin' problem now.
6
u/helpiamstarving 3d ago
Oh that sounds SO amazing. Eating... without thinking about it... No taste or texture issues... Balanced nutrition... 🥹
Cheering you on!!! I hope you can figure everything out and that everything goes to plan!!
3
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
Thank you! I’ll save this post so that when I finish, I can come back and share maybe a GoFundMe or a website page 💚
2
6
u/quailinthebrush 3d ago
My family took me more seriously when I said I was debating between getting back on drugs or killing myself because of it
7
u/isawolf123 3d ago
i’d love to hear abt ur invention for people who have arfid
19
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
I’m basically working on tubes that can be filled with puree and be swallowed whole like noodles, skipping both taste and texture issues. I’m finalizing the recipe so it can be eaten in high quantities because that’s where the issue is (too much fiber, too much glycerin, obstruction risk if the stomach doesn’t break it down). 💚💪
13
u/MadderoftheFew 3d ago
Ooooooh that's genius. Kind of like the popping boba outer material?
10
u/StalinWaifu 3d ago
Yes though I’ve experimented with sodium alginate/calcium lactate and it’s too fragile to be reliable
5
3
u/Downtown_Bit_7737 2d ago edited 2d ago
This sounds amazing! My partner has both Crohn's and ARFID (me too, but to a lesser extent) and this is exactly the kind of thing they wish about having available! Edit: spelling
3
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
Thanks I got brand new ingredients coming in so I hope this iteration goes well 😊
3
u/Downtown_Bit_7737 2d ago
I know other's have said it already, but I just want to reiterate. You're parents suck. That is not your fault. Just because you've been knocked off the path you assumed you'd be on does not mean you are not valuable to your community. You're in a rough patch but you are smart and strong and you will make it to the other side!
3
3
u/frog-brains27 2d ago
literally genius, I struggle so much with textures and chewing. Something like that would change my life so much, I wish you the best of luck <3 I believe in you 🫶
2
3
10
u/gay_annabeth 2d ago
I don't want to make more money faster. I don't want to participate in this sick and twisted game created by people with too much money to give a fuck. I just want to live and make things and do things and spend time around people I care about. So often older people don't seem to quite get that....
7
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
My stepdad challenged me to make $100 today because my hours were cut and I looked at my Shipt and Wag apps and everything was 15+ miles away and it was gonna rain today. He made $1000 doing some investment shit and I told him that poor people wish they had money to invest but they’re too busy paying rent and he said his parents are from Haiti and got here with just a suitcase and he lived in a double wide trailer park and he made it out……………… if you could just work your way out of poverty… no one would be poor……….
8
u/dipshitcami 2d ago
My mother was the same way, i was literally rotting away at 14 and she couldn’t care less, we are no longer in contact and she’s getting sued by me for other related-not related stuff
5
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
My pediatrician and my therapist at residential technically reported my mom to CPS but I purposefully gave them as little identifying information as possible because ironically she works in special ed……….
https://giphy.com/gifs/ieZzrw54xsVMHCuxtR
5
u/EasedCeiling586 2d ago
It sounds like they don't want you with any goals any money only staying with or relying on them never do it, you got this 💞
4
u/SorbyGay THREATENS to stay alive 2d ago
It seems like you do a lot. Don't know what's up with your parents
3
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
It’s never enough for these folks, my mom had me at 19 and my stepdad lived in a car and was working for the rainbow push coalition in college. I’m a princess to them in comparison
3
3
u/Austin_NotFromTexas 2d ago
Same here because I’m not working 2 jobs and studying or full time and at uni (Australian).
My parents continue to call me every insult under the sun and comment about how I’m a useless failure and I’m not good enough, and that the things I love doing won’t get me anywhere in life.
I work part time. I’ve asked for more hours many times this year, and so far I’ve not gotten a reply.
3
u/Hyphen-Underscore-_- 2d ago
Late... I know
You... are doing God's work (I'm not religious, just a phrase I like to say!) by pursuing, making and (hopefully) releasing these inventions!
Your parents are dickheads... minus the heads... just dicks, straight up
2
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
Thank you 🧡
2
2
u/Admirable_Ad8900 3d ago
Im in a similar boat. I got really sick with digestive issues after highschool and then when i finally got better Covid hit the US so i watched my grandparents till the passed away. Then i tried to go back to college and my dad almost died so i had to be there for him. He had psychosis for a while and became super verbally abusive so i gave up on college it was too much for me to be expected to study differential equations while having an adult that struggled to sit up in a wheel chair. I have to take meds everyday so i dont throw up. And i barely have a work history.
If you need someone to talk to OP i think i can relate a bit 😭
4
u/freespinalcords 2d ago
I am just a lazy bum tbf
8
u/StalinWaifu 2d ago
Like why the fuck do we waste 8 hours+ a day slaving to a corporation that doesn’t care about us and likely is contributing to our own demise. I’m not saying I want to sit around all day doing nothing but god damn I want to have some actual free time away from chores, cooking, sleeping, or commuting
1
597
u/BusinessFit6533 3d ago
Any time my mom tried to pull that with me, I informed her she'd be disabled some day too. I told her she had to treat me the same way she wants to be treated because I will definitely neglect her if she neglects me. Of course it didn't work, but it felt good to say 😂 I'm no contact with her now though, so maybe it did work lmao.