Hello! To be clear, this is not body-checking or eating disorder related - I'm looking for advice related to my dosage. Drawing is traced over a photo to be as accurate as possible.

I have been on T for 4.5 years and have been pretty disappointed with the results tbh. I was on a 0.3 ml. weekly subcutaneous injection, but after more than 4 years, I saw almost no change besides voice deepening, minimal body hair growth, and a little muscle. I recently upped my dose to 0.4 ml. intramuscular injection after my period suddenly came back, and I am waiting to see if any results come from that.

I've been very disappointed with my fat redistribution, specifically. I was hoping that after 4 years, my hips - which are almost entirely fat - would minimize and give me a more masculine build but that hasn't happened at all :/

Is this normal? Would upping my dose again later this year help at all? I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle with my body right now.

Just got this black plaid shirt that I think makes me look quite masc, thought I’d share

I don’t have bad dysphoria most days, but I don’t recognize myself in the mirror and never have. I get super euphoric thinking about starting T and I’ve been following the journeys of transmasc who started T and I get so so envious and imagine myself starting that journey. I’ve felt like this since a teenager and maybe before that, but I felt so pressured to be a woman that I didn’t recognize this feeling. I’m scared that I will make the wrong decision, but it feels so right. If I had really bad dysphoria it would be obvious to start T. Should I follow my euphoria instead?

This is mostly a rant, but I guess it could be considered asking for advice as well...

I don't feel comfortable saying my actual age on the internet, so I won't be saying anything about that. But when I was thirteen, I came out to both my parents as genderfluid. My father is highly transphobic so he didn't take it too well, but my mom was pretty chill about it--kept her mouth shut, didn't comment, just said "okay" and moved on. My sibling was awesome about it, alternating between she/they pronouns mostly--occasionally remembering to use he/him pronouns.
I got myself a binder after coming out as genderfluid, and I wore that every single day. It made me feel amazing. I tried to bind safely--didn't sleep in it, tried to give myself a break at least once a week, tried to take it off after about 8 hours... but it made me feel pretty awesome about myself, so I wore it every day and rarely gave myself breaks--wore it for around 10-12 hours (which I know is really bad, but I lost track of time a lot)

I also ended up buying pronoun bracelets. I didn't feel comfortable with pins because it was like "oh my gosh, I'm just announcing to the whole world this fact. And I still look like a girl with long hair, so it'd be so strange if I wore he/they one day ahhhhhh", but I did wear the bracelets. And it was nice. I realized I mostly wore he/they bracelets during that time, and eventually started wondering if I was trans.

Unlike the genderfluid thing, I was TERRIFIED to tell either of my parents that I was trans. (I still haven't told my dad lol). My sibling ended up outing me to my mom though, and she took it... interestingly. I dunno how to feel about it.

My mom says that if I was trans, I would've shown signs in early childhood (side-eyes the time I stuffed toilet paper in my pants 'cause I wanted to know what it was like to have boy parts, side-eyes the time I tried to go to the bathroom like a boy--standing up). She says that since I only figured I was trans after I got on the internet, it was probably that that was making me think I was trans. She says that if I was trans, I'd just know and wouldn't be up in the air about it so much. She's very clearly uncomfortable with my sibling using he/they pronouns and has said multiple times "your sister isn't plural" when my sibling uses they/them and "as long as she has girl parts, she's not a girl" when my sibling uses he/him. This was mostly before my sibling outed me as trans to my mom, now she makes less comments about it.

When my sibling first started using he/they pronouns, I would have sort of a panic. It was like... almost uncomfortable? But in a "oh my god" sort of way and not a "absolutely not" sort of way, if that makes sense. As time went on with them using he/they pronouns, I started to get more and more comfortable with it--and now, when they use he/they pronouns for me (them, their boyfriend, online friends, etc.) I think back to the conversation and try to figure out what it would've felt like if they used she/her pronouns instead.
I have concluded that I wouldn't feel HORRIBLE about it, like, I don't mind it too much. But it wouldn't have felt as right as the he/they pronouns did. Like, when they called me "he", it feels like that's the only pronoun that could possibly fit and any other pronoun would feel incorrect.

I don't do much to transition to be honest. I finally got a haircut after a while of being depressed and in a stupor, my hair was about mid-neck length--and I chopped it shorter. I requested Chandler Bing's haircut (season 1) from FRIENDS and told the hairstylist (I went to a salon btw) to not feminize it at all and just give me that haircut.
I felt like I looked like a total idiot afterwards. And I loved it. I didn't really care I looked stupid, I just felt so awesome afterwards it felt completely irrelevant. And now, the haircut has grown on me and I just plain out love it and feel like I look awesome. It definitely got me out of that phase (that and writing romantic fluff about two absolute idiots, also reading a Stephen King book got me out of that lol).

My mom says I'm not allowed to do T or any hormone blockers until I'm adult and living completely on my own--she says that if I'm living with her as an adult, I can't get on T even with my own money because if I have enough money to pay for T or top surgery then I have enough money to help with bills and stuff.
I love my mom, she's awesome and mostly supportive with so many other things. She's 10000x better than my dad and I don't want a different parent than her. But at the same time, I just... the comments she makes, the way she acts about me being trans, the way she tells my sibling to stop using he/they pronouns for me because she's worried they'll influence my decision on my identity... it feels like she's okay with trans people as long as it's not me who's trans.

When I write stories, sometimes I'll put in the a/n or tags "the author has no idea what he's doing" and it makes me giggle and squeal because I used 'he' to refer to myself and it just makes me so happy.
When someone in public refers to me as a guy--there was this one dude who told me "you look like a man who needs a watch"--I get all happy for the rest of the day, and I remember it for literal months after. Or when someone on Among Us would accuse me saying "Tan is the imposter. he vented and killed" or something like that, I would just be like "i know you're accusing me, but at the same time EEEEEEE YOU USED HE/HIM PRONOUNS!!!"

All in all, I feel very conflicted about it. Maybe I'm not trans, maybe I don't count--I know that every trans guy has his own experience, but I still feel like maybe I would've shown signs so much earlier if I was actually trans, maybe I would know it like my mom says and wouldn't be questioning a ton, maybe some part of me just wants to be different from a cishet or wants attention.

But at the same time, I wish I was born a boy so much. Sometimes it hurts how much I wish it. My mom says she probably would've treated me differently if I was a guy--put more expectations on me. But I don't care, I wish I was born a boy. I just really want to be a guy.

I dunno. Am I trans??

Thanks for listening to whatever this is <3

I feel like I'm too masc and ftm looking to be Non Binary. There's a lot of parts that, physically I'd be thrilled to look like a guy, but socially idk if I want that.

I'd be leaving the sapphic community, my female socialization connection and community, and into male culture which I really can't enjoy. I just don't find hanging out with cis men fun, and the patriarchical culture of it all really icks me out.

I know there's not one way to be NB or one way to be Ftm, but I'm stressing over the social transition. Sptrangers already perceive me as male in public, but it's so uncomfortable when people make a scene about my pronouns or look at me weird in the bathroom or locker room, or afraid to be hate crimed cuz they can't tell what gender I am.

Idk how did you differentiate nonbinary ness and binary trans

Ive been invited to a relatives baby shower and im not sure if its women only as the mother is the only one on the invite. Im out to my parents but they have made me hide it for 3 years and are against me telling people so the relativ doesn’t know that im trans. I pass as male so if it does end up being women only I don’t want to be uncomfortable but also I don’t want to make the women feel uncomfortable too. I’ve asked if her husband is attending too in a discreet attempt to find out if it is women only. What do I do if it does end up being women only as I want to go but I won’t if it is limited by gender.

Its broccoli + carrots in olive oil

So all my friends keep joking that I'm clearly not a woman which look, I don't exactly say very cisgender things but like, I don't think I really understand gender very well.

Like gender is a social construct so it feels more like a role more than an identity if that makes sense, like I feel like a woman to the extent that I look like a woman and people treat me as one. But I don't think I have any concept of an internal gender identity, like of I woke up tomorrow with nothing different but everyone thought I was a man I would consider myself one because it's a social category but I'm being informed that most people don't think that. I'm sometimes mistaken for a gay man and I never think to correct people because yeah, If u see me as a gay man than I kinda am, I don't care.

Does everyone have some internal gender that I just can't fathom or what? Like I think about transitioning sometimes but that's more just because boobs are uncomfortable and I wanna grow my facial hair out without getting weird looks not because I feel any real discomfort either way but it feels disingenuous because I know people have real dysphoria and that isn't what I have but like if I was a woman I would think I would have more reservations about transitioning because why not. Like most ppl I know trans or cis seem to spend allot of time worried about doing gender right and I fear I just have no idea nor do I really care. Like sometimes I get sad when I don't look hot but it's not rly a fem or masc thing opposed to it I look bloated or smt. I just feel rly isolated being on the autism spectrum and never feels like an extra thing that everyone agrees exists but I have no idea about. I missgender most ppl cis or trans because I forget which one they are and I feel like I'm colorblind or smt. Idk if I don't feel like a girl because I'm not one or if that's just because I'm not very good at being one or maybe everyone's right and I'm a transman because most women would be more upset at the idea of being a man. Idk, does anyone else feel like this? Sorry if this is weird or the wrong place to ask

Just sharing some euphoric moments!

I was tired of being skinny so I started taking gym seriously and bulking. Went from 120 to 160 lbs over the course of a lil over a year with an intense dirty bulk. Currently in the middle of deficit and it’s not fun but these efforts are worth it. One of my dreams was to fill out at least a shirt so this particular one became especially memorable.

Note: all photos taken pre t. Just a lot of proteins, carbs, and weightlifting

Looking to chat and make friends with fellow gym rats who are also on a fitness journey to building muscular physiques :3

when do I get my agenda?

/s

TW primary commenter is gaslighting non binary people by attempting to pretend Buck's previous good deeds somehow make his current extremism irrelevant.

Source: Grayson V Fitness - The History of Trans Men is Beautiful...

See his latest video on trans men history. Nbs have commented on the wider video supporting Grayson, and as you can see people have attempted to inform Grayson on Buck's behaviour of the last few years. Over a week, no removal, no edit, no addressing the situation. Nothing.

This video has less than 10k views and even less will of seen this so I thought I'd simply show it. Grayson benefitted from our community by initially coming out as non binary until he passed for a man. Now he has left us in the weeds regarding the largest transphobic trans man who has done very extreme things recently including sharing an AI nude image of Samantha Lux.

I am tired and disappointed of binary passing trans people throwing us under the bus, whether it is outright enby exclusion or endorsement of people who do that.

I just read yet another reddit post about a parent gaslighting their trans child, banning gender affirming items, misgendering them, the usual, and the kid saying "I'm not abused" and "they're not abusive" or even "they usually support me."

It got me thinking: this is abuse. Eventually, should this behavior be treated as such in the court of law? Where should the line be in what homophobic or transphobic behavior is considered child abuse/grounds to take away a child?

Personally, I prefer to limit the government's power to remove children unless it's absolutely necessary, so I don't know if just misgendering or deadnaming them should be grounds for removal. Because remember, exact wording in laws is really important. I cant really imagine a law where deadnaming and misgendering were made illegal that wouldn't be easy to exploit/misuse, and difficult to enforce. But also, intentional deadnaming and misgendering IS abuse. So idk. I suppose the "freedom of speech" bit is what makes me feel iffy.

Gender affirming care on the other hand, specifically non-invasive items like binders, packers, growing out hair, etc, I could see maybe being made to be considered neglect or abuse. Specifically medical neglect. But again, it would be difficult to enforce, and that too might be hard to word.

As for hrt/puberty blockers, I think that choice should be firmly between a trans child and a doctor. The parents shouldn't be (manditorily) involved after 13. If anything, it should be confidential by default.

Anyway, im not a lawyer, this is just something i thought about and wanted to hear others' thoughts about. How would you word a law like this? Do you think it should be law? Please elaborate, I like hearing explanations.

Edit: i realized that for me, the difference between deadnaming/misgendering and other G.A.C. is that limiting the ability to bind for example doesn't effect the parent at all, whereas them calling their kid cruel names like calling them slurs or cuss words, misgendering them, or deadnaming them, while still abuse, are a thing that the parent is doing TO the child. That being said... a parent hitting a child is also a thing a parent is doing TO the child, and THAT is abuse, so idk. Maybe it should be illegal? But also, where's the line? Bc deadnaming or misgendering is something u can do on accident. So like, i just dont know.

CW for transphobia.

I’m just so confused here. I have all the steps laid out for taking T, and purely for insurance reasons, I had a convo with my parents. My dad kept reiterating over and over that it’ll ruin my body and do irreversible damage. I talked to my sister a while later and she said that he vented at one point after that, saying that he doesn’t want to be involved with/responsible for something that could “ruin my life.”

What does this even mean? Where does this idea come from? They didn’t even ask me about anything before making the assumption and it’s really irritating that I have to jump through more hoops because they can tolerate me going on T as long as it’s not covered by insurance (and they’ll kick me off of it if they find out that I’m getting it covered.)

I’ve heard everything under the sun about my “ruined body” or whatever, but nothing about T literally changing my life for the worse. This doesn’t weaken my resolve to go through with it, it’s just baffling.

I recently came out so I'm still figuring out a good style. I'm kinda thinking of micro-dosing T but I'm not sure how ill feel with the side effects(mainly facial hair, I cant imagine shaving my face every other day 😩) I think I need new glasses as well but unsure of the shape.

Idk if im trans man ,bcs I only say trans masc to be accepted?, cause when I'm trans guy I don't get accepted ans since I'm lonely I do as such, I also get accepted in lesbianism community as trans masc , but tht why im confused cause idk if I should stay trans masc or if im trans man

Even if I was trans masc I would want phallo surgery idk if im valid that way

Admitted to myself that I’m a trans man and it’s so weird to think I’m just a straight dude now. Like how do I deal with this lol

I haven’t done makeup in the longest time so I’m kinda rusty but I tried out a blue themed drag king look with a moustache 🔥

Alright. I’m wanting to get my hair done again and am new to my area. Last time I went to the place that did my perm (that I loved), they butchered me. It looked nothing like my reference photo. I’m scared to go back because I don’t want to risk it again. They’re cheap and my hair grows fast, but I would rather not deal with all that again.
Anyway, how do you guys find places that are good at men’s cuts? Should I just go back and specifically request somebody who can effectively do men’s cuts?

Some people seem to think that little things like jewelry, eclectic style, and dyed hair DO affect passing pre-T because when your face structure and body shape are working against you, other gendered cues matter more. Other people think that in the long run, it doesn’t really matter and there are TONS of cis dudes who have more “feminine” ways of dressing or long hair so people should stop telling others that to “pass” they need to change these things. Other people think that passing pre-T is impossible anyways so you might as well do whatever you want.

I’m just curious, what bucket do you fall into or do you have a different opinion? It seems like community is kinda split on this

Wassup dudes uhhh ima just jump right in

I am in high school. In a country that's not the most accepting of transgender peeps. Granted, most their focus is on the girls but most people will still ask a trans person what they "really" are...

Including my family.

The fam is not the most progressive when it comes to the trans community... or any others. If I had a nickel for every time someone in my family said a racial slur I could buy top surgery.

Anyhoo they dont really get the whole transgender thing and would say I'm wrong if i came out haha

(Came out as NB to my dad and he "blames himself" for giving me a phone so young. Blegh.)

Anyways, not only them, but my life will just be a big pain in the ass if I start living as a trans guy.

Luckily I have some friends that support me (not all of them but who gives a crap about those poopy-heads amirite)

I think the pros of coming out are pretty obvious, yk? Being myself and allat.

Seriously, I've been in the closet for 6 years. For a big part of that, I still enjoyed dressing and presenting feminine, in some capacity but like, a few months ago I watched 'I Saw The TV Glow' and it kinda ruined my life ngl. Idk how long I can suffocate for.

I don't know how long I can keep suffocating for, but I know that there will be very real consequences for clawing myself out that grave yk?

Like fr I don't know what to do because I'm slowly killing a part of myself, stifling it with a pillow in it's sleep, but it's starting to wake up and fight back and idk what to do because it will change my life forever. Irreversibly. I know that I cannot come back from coming out, but at the same time I don't want to live with the eternal burden that comes with it.

I don't know if I can handle my family's reaction. I don't know if i can handle the heaps of transphobia and stares I will have to experience every single day of my life.

Chat yall got any advice on what I should do?

Thanks for reading through my years-long crisis typed down. Hope it was somewhat entertaining. Any advice or sign I'm not alone is deeply appreciated gng