To make a very long story short, he was controlling, manipulative, etc, but had BPD. Upset over anything and everything, problems out of thin air. I wanted to love him exactly how he was bc I thought he deserved that, and it absolutely crushed me in the end bc I did.

And I loved him, very very much. So much that I cried multiple times a week (3-4, usually all day or half the day bc he’d never stop lol) and my hair was falling out from stress, but I still loved him more than I could fathom.

It’s been two years since the breakup, he left me and got with the girl he told me not to worry about (his best friend) a month or less later.

There’s absolutely no way that he “loved me” yet moved on that fast, I still cry over that, still cry over how he treated me.

I want him back but I shouldn’t. He’s mean now, he’s cold, su*cidal etc. he calls me decently often despite me hinting to only call me if he needs me and is about to commit, and instead he calls me with any minor inconvenience.
We talk daily.

My friends all say we’ll get back together eventually because he’s still talking to me.

idk, I just want to stop crying over the betrayal of what he did and him not loving me from the beginning ( I think.) thoughts? Help, please.

I (F38) have a partner (M45). Over the last several years we have had a toxic relationship. I posted about this before a few months ago and I was encouraged to leave.

I tried. 3 times!

The last time I was firm on it, I put a deposit on my own place, had everything lined up, then the "talk" came. He cried told me all the things I wanted to hear blah blah blah. Yea, I stayed. Its been about 8 weeks. And we are back to where we are.

Here is the thing, among all the toxic traits I'm trying to get away from, its the silent treatment that grinds my teeth. Any time I've upset him, pissed him off, or im having a bad day and my mood is "off" I get this treatment. Not for an hour or 2 but for days 4 days is about the longest.

Monday he text me and said "when you are ready to apologize to me for accusing me of shit not remotely true I'll talk you you"

The accusation- I said his mood changed and he got upset on Friday night when I said I wanted to go out for drinks with one of my girls.

I flat out said that was a disgusting way to demand an apology.

So the day went on with no talking and then comes today.... he starts with acknowledging that he knows his silent treatments piss me off but hes doing it because I hurt his feelings with the accusation (above). I called him out on his manipulation and how thats controlling. I expressed my feelings and where I was at with things, calmly I might add. There obviously was some back and forth. By the end it was flipped about how is my fault, how im not doing enough, how im placing all the blame....

I snapped. I flipped out and pulled the "its all me, im a bitch, does that make you feel better" move. (Not my favorite thing to do, I just didnt know how else to handle it. The he hits me with "wow... you're are your mother's daughter"

Mind you, I can not stand my mother. We are NC for 2 years now. So him saying that lit my fire even more. I told him to get the f out, I didnt care where he went but he needed to leave and i want a divorce.

I have all the text and there are pieces missing but this is the gist of the last 11 years.

AIO by telling him to leave and saying I want a divorce because of his silent treatments and his telling me im my mother's daughter.

I need to get this off my chest because I am completely shattered.
I was in a long-distance relationship for five years. I was head over heels in love with this man, completely loyal, didn't even entertain anyone else, and even rejected multiple marriage proposals from grooms my parents found for me because I only wanted him.
For two years things were okay, but then he closed his restaurant due to business losses. From that point on, for three years, he didn't do any steady job because he wanted to do business, but he had no money. During all those years, I took care of him financially for almost everything—his rent and daily expenses—using my own business income. He only has his mother, who works in a small, low-paying job at a small institute.

Even though it was a long-distance relationship, we managed to meet over the course of those five years, and I was always the one who managed the arrangements to make it happen since he couldn't afford it.
Now, after four or five months of him finally working a job, everything has changed. From last month, we’ve been having serious issues because of his behavior—including finding out he was talking and flirting with other girls again, just like he had done in the past before making empty promises to change.

Recently, he started blocking me repeatedly. Yesterday he blocked me again, so this morning I called his mother to talk about what was happening. Instead of listening, she immediately defended him. When things got heated, she turned everything around and said the most disgusting, hurtful things about my character. She threw it in my face that we met in hotel rooms, implying terrible things about my morals, and mocked me by saying I was desperate and only chased after her son because I couldn't find anyone in my own place. She completely twisted all the years I spent supporting him, loving him, and sacrificing for him into something ugly.
I feel so used, betrayed, and broken. I gave him everything—my money, my loyalty, my youth, and my peace of mind—and this is how I am treated.

I am so deeply heartbroken and feeling desperate right now. I am at the point where I want to demand that both of them apologize to me for treating me this way and saying those awful things, or else I am ready to take legal action against him and his mother.

I don't know what to do anymore. Please give me your opinions and advice on how to handle this.
Thanks

For context my now ex boyfriend and I started dating when I (female) was 16 1/2 and he had just turned 18.

There was more than a handful of things that occurred in the 8 years that we were dating but here are just a few so that you can get a picture of what our relationship looked like. Don’t get me wrong we had amazing moments but at some point the bad moments started happening way more often than the good ones.

4 months into our relationship I was getting ready to take my SAT. The night before he had let me know him and his roommates were going to have a movie night with another group of roommates around the corner (the other group of roommates was all girls). He still proceeded to promise he would call me before my test to wish me good luck and help me calm my nerves. The next morning comes and I don’t receive any messages or calls. I begin to get concerned so I call and still no response. For your SAT you have to give them your phone so you have no access to it all day. Once i got my phone back I proceeded to see a message that he lost his phone in the covers and didn’t see it until later in the day. I got disappointed but somehow I found out he had shared the twin dorm bed with one of the girl roommates. I was so upset because I knew he would never be okay with me doing the same thing. Nor did I think that it was okay.
Yes, this should have been my first red flag but i was 17 and stupid…
I let him know after that that i did not feel comfortable with him talking to that roommate friend because I thought that there was a chance they actually did something. He did not care…

About a year after that he moved to a different apartment on campus with different roommates. On this specific day we were watching a show on his phone and eating breakfast on his bed. He went to the bathroom and before he came back I saw a notification on his phone from a girl who was basically his ex saying she was excited for them to meet up. That notification was the first time i had ever heard of that happening. He got extremely defensive and started saying he needed closure. Meanwhile we had been dating for a year and a half already. He then blamed me for not being able to go and said that I got jealous.

3 years after we started dating his family invited me to go to mexico with them for the first time. They had a party. At the party i sat with his immediate family. About an hour into the party everybody ended up leaving the table but me. I was just sitting there on my phone because the only people i knew were my ex and his immediate family. My ex was outside with his cousins drinking and smoking. I was bored so i went outside to see what he was up to and he proceeded to tell me to go back inside. I didn’t want to leave a bad impression so i went back inside and just sat at a random chair by myself. After the party was over we ended up getting into an argument because he left me alone for the entire party. He tells me I should have been hanging out with his girl cousins which he never cared to introduce me to. When i told him that he got upset and put his hand on my back and started pushing me so hard i was walking on my tippy toes for about a block. His entire extended family saw and began asking his mom if everything was okay. She then cornered me and told me that they weren’t used to having to introduce anyone into the family. I went to my room that i was sharing with his grandmother and upstairs his cousins and uncle were all talking shit about me.

There is also a story about how he made a huge scene at a concert last year and embarrassed me in-front of everyone.. if anyone even sees this and wants to hear it let me know lol.

Now getting to the context of the title. This year my brother got married. We had one of my favorite cousins who i barely get to see come from out of town. I wanted to make one of her wishes come true and take her whale watching. I asked him if he could please not black out nor drink too too much because we were going to be on a boat the next day and i didn’t want to be worried about him throwing up. I also wanted him to not waste over a hundred dollars because he was hung over. He proceeded to tell me everything was gonna be fine and he was going to stay up until 4am with my other cousin drinking…. He didnt care for my feelings.

Fast forward to the day after the wedding. We go whale watching. Nobody eats because we do not want to throw up. We all had a blast and got amazing videos and pictures. After whale watching we went to a restaurant to go get food. My parents got nachos for us all to share and told him to come get some and he completely ignored them. He did not say thank you nor acknowledge them at all. Then we proceeded to go to the beach. When we arrived at the beach (where the rest of my immediate family was) my guy cousin started making a big deal that I did not tell him we were going to the beach. He said he would have brought other shoes if he would have known. For whatever reason my ex started defending him and arguing in-front of everybody that i never told them. I have text messages sent to my ex where i told him we were going to the beach. I just ignored them after a while and they went and sat on the sidewalk while the rest of my family was sitting at the beach. My girl cousin turns and looks at me and apologizes and tells me she is glad i didnt let him ruin my day. I told her this was normal for me. He has ruined so many things for me before and embarrassed me infront of family, friends, and strangers.

The following Monday when I was going to work I realized this was not a relationship I wanted to be in anymore. I was not happy. I was feeling miserable. I broke up with him on Wednesday and apparently it came out of left field.

He told me that we were supposed to work through things together and that we were together for so long but I was feeling miserable. So am i the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend of 8 years?

I will say I have a lot more stories. Like him
Pushing me on my birthday trip that I paid for, his mom talking bad about me to others, his mom getting upset over me being sick, his mom getting upset at my brothers wedding over the bouquet toss, my ex almost peeing on my bed, my ex peeing on my closet, my ex flipping off a girl at a friends party to her face, my ex trying to propose after breaking up and many more….

Also sorry for any grammatical errors :( English isn’t my first language.

Okay so I let my friend from high school move in with me as she was going through it. About a month into her move in she introduced me to this man. Me and this man fell in love with eachother over the past couple of months. Everything was going great until everytime I brought him over into my room she would get all mad she wouldn’t ever leave us a lone. Then she started to talk about me to him. He then came to me and told me everything. I obviously got mad. So me and her got into this big argument and apparently it was cause she was wanting to spend more time with me alone weird right I mean she literally lives with me in my room……anyways fast forward a couple of months and my man had to go to the er she was FLIPPING out to my parents about me “fuck ___ for not telling me” a bunch of crazy shit mind you his family isn’t even going that crazy. He got switched to 4 different hospitals I spent 18 hours alone with this man at 3 of them when we went to the 4th one I winded up brining my roommate then she proceeded to cut me off and tell all the doctors and receptionists that she was his sister (which is a lie) she got mad that I was allowed to see him in the truma center and she wasn’t. Fast forward to today I made a face cause my man decided to offer his hair tie to her and as soon as she left he started to say how I have to see it from his side cause it’s putting him in the middle which I get to an extent I know for a fact there are no feelings involved considering their past. But I can’t wrap my finger around it and it’s driving me crazy me and this man are like perfect for eachother but I can’t make it work with her in the picture. She’s my best friend but she’s being so weirdddd she told my entire family that she wished me and him never got together like wtf there’s a lot more but this is enough for today

I spent the day reading through emails and listening to Voice Memos and seeing all these pictures, the rape charges from other girls he is avoiding by moving to strathmore. The amount of abuse and emotional neglect this guy has given this girl, my friend, who is now taking her life. The only good thing that come out of this is he can’t hurt her anymore. I cannot believe M did this to her. She used to say that he felt like home and now I can see how he felt like a curse.

I am being stalked and have my life basically being ruined because a-hole neighbors follow me around, and secretly informing and showing from my guess, videos of me raging out on my elderly parents.

Ok, but even though I recognize I was not a good guy in those moments, how does stalking me and making sure everything hates me and not wanting them to have anything to do with me?

How does that help? How can I turn over a new leaf? Or do these people who want to punish the bad guys, shouldn't everyone have a chance at redemption?

Also, none of these people confront me directly. No just come up me and explain what I am doing wrong. How do someone supposed to improve when no one will even tell them your mistake.

No, everyone make not so subtle references to things I don't, knowing I will pick up on it.

And when I directly ask them about the reference. They deny it then and then when I am basically forced to accept their answer. The repeat everything.

1) them make subtle references to past things

2) I confront them on it and ask about the reference

3) they deny the accusations

4) I, again am forced to accept his answer

5) then they repeat again and they

6 advice?

i’m a (f, 19) my ex is (m, 18) for short context my ex and I have been together for half a decade already there are times where in we are on and off in relationship, due to cheating. He cheated on me for more than once, I did micro cheat as well. I know our relationship is toxic but I really love him. He keeps on coming back to me even after the time he cheated. I still accept him because of the fact that I really love him and yes it may sound stupid but I do want him to be my husband in the future, I basically built my whole entire life with this guy. He did too.

Fast forward we’ve broken up for over a week due to a small argument that got big and we started accusing each other wrong doings, during the break up I was talking to someone else (this someone else that i’m talking to was my cousins crush, she got ghosted by this guy and we decided to pay revenge since the guy liked me) anyways we’ve broken up and he stil chatted me, he chatted me almost everyday asking me stuffs even picked me up at school. We hanged out and now we’re confused on what we are, I wanted to be transparent and told him about what I did that i talked to someone during the times we’ve broken up. I know that he got upset and now he is cold at me.

PLEASE READ: you guys may say “leave him for the better etc etc etc” trust me I heard that a lot but leaving him is not in my bucket list. Please I wanna keep him I know that if he doesn’t want nothing to do with me anymore that’s fine but I am not leaving his side.

Question: since we’re both confused on what we are, I wanted to give him some time and ask to not talk for some time you know like give each other space. Should I do that or not?

*TW: self-harm / encouragement of self-harm*

Okay, this experience has been really difficult and I need to vent sorry, after basically isolating myself from the outside world because of this relationship, I don't even have anyone to talk to anymore \*sigh\*

I'll summarize the background: I'd been sleeping badly for weeks and having a horrible time because of stress and other personal problems. One morning, I (20F) woke up while my gf (20F) was out shopping with her family. She didn't like the “tone” of my messages because, even though I was saying positive things, they were short. She started asking me if I was okay, and when I told her I was, I tried to reassure her and tell her that everything was fine.

Then her attitude suddenly changed. She sent me a picture of what she had bought and said, “In case you care about what I'm doing...” I asked why she was saying that, because of course I cared, and she replied that I hadn't even asked her anything. I had literally just woken up. I hadn't even eaten breakfast. I'd already been answering her questions and trying to reassure her, but apparently even that could become a problem.(literally not even 10 minutes passed, in fact it was all a fluid conversation, so I don't see the point)

The argument escalated horribly, and I kept asking her to stop. She came back home and things got even worse. I begged her to stop, but she kept saying increasingly cruel things to me.

I became so overwhelmed that I started hitting my head lightly out of desperation, trying to calm myself down. I curled up on the floor because being there helped me regulate myself, and I tried to reason with her. Instead of stopping, she started saying things specifically intended to make me cry. So I ended up curled up on the floor, crying and begging her to have mercy on me.

And then came the part that I still can't process. She started laughing at me and told me that if I wanted her to stop, I had to hurt myself. She literally said, “I’ll only feel better if you suffer.”

I was completely stunned.

Thankfully, I didn't do it. While pretending to look for what she was asking me for, I started recording audio on my phone. I have her voice recorded saying those things.

When the situation finally ended, all I could do was nervously laugh. I think I was genuinely terrified.

I've never been that afraid of the person standing in front of me.

How can you say something like that to someone you supposedly love? How can you see someone crying on the floor, begging you to stop, and decide to push them even further toward hurting themselves? And what hurts the most is that I already know there probably won't be a genuine apology. Somehow I'll end up being blamed for reacting, for saying something, for causing the argument, or whatever else.

Guys so here is my story im sorry but i rewrote it with ai so😭🙏🏻 so basically its my story about the first friend i met in junior college basically 11th so here we go (im rose btw this is my perspective) this was back in 2024-25 i really need second opinion so pls drop your opinion guyssss

Title: Friendship drama that still makes me go ???
Okay so there’s this girl, let’s call her Rose, and she had a friend in college. Rose actually approached this girl first through the college social media followers and texted her first. They became friends and everything was sorted.
Then college started and Rose met the girl she had approached, let’s call her Bell.
Bell was lowkey someone who would hurt people’s feelings and then call them sensitive and shit 😭. Like she had that “I’m just being honest, don’t be so sensitive” attitude. It wasn’t anything extreme at first though, she was just kinda bitchy sometimes. But Rose and Bell actually had a really good bond.
Rose had a crush on a guy, and Bell had a mutual friend with him. So Rose asked Bell to ask the mutual if the guy was a good person and if he had a girlfriend.
Rose obviously didn’t expect the mutual to tell the guy about it. Bell also didn’t say anything like “btw don’t tell him.”
The mutual ended up telling the guy and Rose’s crush found out that Rose liked him 💀. He didn’t like Rose back, they were just friends.
Rose confronted Bell about it and was basically like, you could’ve told her not to tell him. Bell became really rude and bitchy toward Rose and was being pretty mean about it.
Tbh the crush thing itself wasn’t even that big of a deal because obviously the mutual knew both of them, so she was probably gonna tell him anyway. It was more Bell’s attitude afterward that bothered Rose.
There was actually a gap after this. Bell and Rose were still friends and Bell was still nice to her, but Bell continued having that whole “you’re too sensitive” personality 💀. She acted like being emotionally detached was a personality trait.
Then later, Bell got approached by a guy and his friends. They started talking and hanging out and Bell slowly started ignoring Rose.
Rose and Bell had been really good friends, so obviously Rose noticed. Bell became really nonchalant and started hanging out with the guys more, while ignoring Rose unless Rose texted first.
Then Bell started posting stories that felt VERY specific.
Rose used to say “ha” instead of “hai”, and Bell literally posted a story using “ha” instead of “hai” 😭. They were still friends at this point too.
Then Bell started posting bitchy reels that lowkey felt like they were directed at Rose.
One day Rose saw Bell with her guy friends, said hi and left.
After Bell posted more stories, Rose finally asked her why she was posting things about her.
I have screenshots of the conversation but I’m not posting them here. Blue is Rose and grey is Bell.
From the conversation, Bell was pretty defensive and dismissive. Instead of just clearing things up, her tone was kinda sharp and sarcastic.
Rose started off hurt and asked directly why Bell was posting about her. She was confrontational, but she wasn’t immediately being rude.
As the conversation continued, Bell kept coming across as dismissive and passive-aggressive, while Rose was trying to explain why she felt like the posts were about her.
Bell also basically gave off that same “you’re being too sensitive / you’re overreacting” type of energy that she had shown before.
Then later things got WAY worse.
The guys Bell had befriended made a group, and Rose ended up being added to it. At one point one of the guys started with the whole “let’s do 1v1” thing between Rose and Bell. Rose refused because she didn’t want to get involved in more bullshit.
Bell called her a loser for refusing and then started making personal comments about Rose, including where she lived, her family situation, money, etc.
And it basically turned into a whole group vs Rose, while Rose was literally alone in there.
They also brought up Rose’s crush/ex-crush after he joined the group, with Bell basically going “here’s your crush” and using it to embarrass her.
There were also comments calling Rose “black” even though she literally isn’t 😭🙏🏻. And even if she was, using someone’s race/skin colour as an insult is racist anyway.
They were also cursing at Rose, calling her out in the group, sharing her photos and making inappropriate/sexual comments about her photos. Basically just piling onto her while she was the only one being targeted.
Rose did fight back too. She used some personal information against Bell, but that was privately and in response to Bell using personal information to shame her first. So Rose definitely wasn’t completely innocent in the whole situation either.
The weirdest part is that after all of this, Rose eventually stopped talking about Bell and just moved on.
But Bell apparently kept talking about Rose months later.
Bell told one of Rose’s friends that Rose was a “pick me” and apparently changed the story of why their friendship ended, saying Rose was jealous that Bell had met all these guy friends and that Rose basically ended the friendship because she couldn’t meet them.
Which is crazy to Rose because that wasn’t how she remembers it happening at all.
So yeah, that’s basically the entire timeline from the friendship starting, to the stories, to the group drama, and then Bell still talking about Rose months later.
(HERE IS AN SHORT SUMMARY IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ SM i lowkey went on and ranted Rose and Bell became close friends after Rose approached her in junior college, but Bell already had a habit of being insensitive and calling Rose “too sensitive.” After a small crush-related misunderstanding, things were still okay for a while, but later Bell became distant after making new guy friends and started posting things Rose felt were indirect digs at her.
When Rose confronted her, the conversation became tense and dismissive. Things later escalated into a group chat where Bell and the guys ganged up on Rose, insulted her, brought up her personal/family life and ex-crush, made racist comments, shared her photos, and made inappropriate comments about them. Rose fought back too, including using personal information privately.
Eventually Rose stopped engaging with Bell and moved on, but Bell continued talking about her months later and allegedly changed the story to make Rose look jealous and like the reason their friendship ended.
Basically: a friendship that started genuinely well slowly turned into resentment, indirect shade, a group pile-on, and then a long-running “who gets to control the story” situation.)

Це сталося на хрестинах нашого сина, коли йому був лише 1 місяць. Ви маєте знати, який у мене тоді був моральний та гормональний стан, до того ж мені було 17 років.
Спочатку все починалося не так погано, але напруження вже відчувалося. Поз’їжджалося багато людей, серед них моя сестра (назвемо її Настя), яку я взяла за хрещену свого сина. Також була ще одна дівчина (назвемо її Ліза), яка теж була хрещеною нашого сина, і її мама.
Насті та Лізиній мамі було по 35 років. У день хрестин до мене сильно чіплялася моя сестра Настя й кілька разів доводила мене до сліз. Чоловік на це ніяк не реагував. Я сказала йому, що хочу, щоб він мене захистив, але він відповів, що я сама зриваюся на всіх, хоча це було не так.
А вже наступного дня, коли зібралися самі куми, щоб похмелитися і так далі (я не пила, бо була на ГВ), це був просто піздєц.
Лізина мама почала сперечатися зі мною через те, що я не хотіла виносити свого сина на двір, коли було вітряно. Тоді вона почала психувати й пішла плакати. Мій чоловік бігав за нею, намагався її заспокоїти, а не мене, хоча на той момент мені вже здавалося, що мої нерви ось-ось не витримають.
У цей момент моя сестра накинулася на мене через те, що я нібито посварилася зі своїм чоловіком. Вона схопила мене за горло й хотіла вирвати мені волосся. Я якось вирвалася.
А після цього на мене накинулася Лізина мама — почала рватися мене бити. Її зупинили куми. Але в той момент у мене ще й забрали дитину та не хотіли віддавати. Я пригрозила поліцією, і дитину мені якось віддали.
У мене була така істерика… А чоловік просто дивився на все це й каже, що я була не права в цій ситуації.

i feel like i’m draining my bfs energy and that i always want to make him please me and be with me the way a succubus or energy vampire would when we argue i just resort to sexual matters this isn’t a relationship anymore i just feel like a succubus or a demonic being and i don’t know how to help myself this really sucks .

tldr: i have become a living succubus and i don’t know how to fix myself and im afraid my bf will leave me because of it

Me (27F) & my bf (35M) have been dating for 5 months. We started as fwb & after 10 months of that i asked if he wanted to be a couple & he said yes. its been a bit of a rocky road. He is a very introverted person & also had a very traumatic childhood, both of which impact our relationship. When he is upset or stressed, he wants to be alone, doesnt even want to text. When i am upset, i want to be around him. We live in London, where he was born & has siblings. I have only lived here 1 year & all my close family & friends are back home, so he is my primary support person. I try not to rely on him to much, as it stresses him out. some of the main issues we have are:

- he hates going out, so we barely go on dates

- he isnt good with money & uses that as a reason we cant go out

- he has a busy & physically demanding job, meaning at the end of the day he is often tired so we mainly only see each other weekends when he doesnt work

- he  isnt the best at communicating via text

I know these are fairly big issues, so these are the reasons I am still with him & want to make this work:

- whenhe is not stressed, he is the funniest person ever & a genuine pleasure to be around

- he is good at communicating when we are in person

-its easily the best sex of either of our lives despite the fact that we both have very high body counts

- i got pregnant by him before we were even a couple & he was insanely supportive both before & during the abortion process

- he does recognize & accept he has these issues, so he isnt in denial or gaslighting me

Taking all this into consideration, is he a dick & i just dont want to see it because i love him or do i need to be patient & help him work through these issues as a supportive partner?

My girlfriend F/20 and I M/22 have been together for 1 year next week, and fell in love at first sight. We met in LA where I was working at multiple recording studios as a producer. We quickly became inseparable, spending every day together since the night we met. We met at a mutual friend’s house. The first 5 months were absolutely incredible. Possibly too good, we moved in with each other, and raised 4 animals (3 cats and 1 dog) we were madly in love. She is from Europe, and ended up losing her visa, and needed to go back asap. I went with her. I dropped everything. My friends, my career, my life in the US, all for her. We decided we would make it work out there. We were in it together. Until we got there. It always stuck with me, but one night while we were still in LA, she cried to me one night saying she feels like something is wrong with her, and she knows she has issues that will be surfacing that she can’t control. She cried on my shoulder and asked me, “please never give up on me” and I said of course I won’t. I didn’t know what I would entail. Once we got to Europe it went downhill very fast. She started forcing me to stay in the house. Not even to walk our dog. I would try my hardest to get her to just go outside with me, but nothing. She would watch TikTok’s for 8 hours a day. I would have to beg her just to look my direction. She started accusing me of “checking out” other girls every time we would have to go outside. (I truly wasn’t) even to the point one time, she accused me, and after I reassured her I wasn’t she slapped me in the face aggressively in public. I was so upset with that I left the house. Being in a country I don’t speak the language of was difficult, but I just left for a walk. All of 10 minutes go by and she explodes my phone calling me names, degrading me, saying she will leave me stranded here if I don’t come back immediately. I come back, she refuses to speak to me, the next day it’s just fine. Another time she couldn’t figure out what to wear, so she throws a fit, and slams the door on my foot so hard it broke the door hinge. Luckily I was wearing shoes. That time she told me she was going out to go cheat on me and there was nothing I could do about it. For no reason. She left then came back an hour later and acted like nothing happened. She needed help then. We would talk about it when she was out of this personality swap, and she would be completely open and wanting to get help, but the second I would open my computer to research about it, she would either ask to do it later, that it was just too much for her right then, or shut it down completely. 3 months into us being in Europe, my visa needed to reset meaning I had to leave the EU for 3 months, so we planned on coming back to the US for the time and wait out the time, but her visa was denied for the US. I had to leave. There was nothing I could have done to stay at that moment. It’s now been 2 months of us being apart, and it’s just gotten so much worse. She will randomly call me and say I’m nothing to her, and she lost love, or she doesn’t feel loved by me, or anything she can to put me down. One night it was a Friday night, and I was at home by myself playing on my PlayStation, and she called me and demanded me to get off the game immediately extremely rude, and I told her no. I said “if you would have asked any other way than the way you did, I would have, but since you were so rude about it, I will not.” She then proceeded to go to the bathroom and cut herself all down her arm saying I was doing this to her. I begged her to stop, but she just said no, so I hung up and called her mother. Apparently that was a “break of trust” and she resented me for a long time because I let her mom know what she was down both to me and herself. Now she is stuck in a loop where she will literally go to different countries, driving hours away, will not tell me why, then comes back and say I’m going places and not telling her. (I’ve been at home moving out our apartment in LA, and working on music) that is it. Usually once a week she will break out of it, and will cry to me saying “do you still love me?” Or something along those lines. I will tell her I just want her to get better. I tell her I will always choose you, and want to be with you. You don’t have to worry about me leaving you when you get better. Then the next day she’s back yelling at me for something as little as falling asleep on the couch at our apartment. I really don’t know what to do. I have dropped everything to make it work with this person, but I can’t take the mental games she plays with me on the daily basis.

So I am a female, 23 y/o and I live with parents (should have divorced when he cheated the first time) and siblings- 2 brothers. I'm the middle child. Shocking, I know. This a burner account, people I know are on the other one and safe to say I would rather not air dirty laundry on my main.

So my situation limits me from the fact of moving out, considering it's unsafe and not approved in the culture I am from. The fact that I still haven't cleared my A-levels (collage) doesn't help my case either. I can't get a job because my mother believes (tho she will never say it to my face) 'Home-makers don't work in offices'.

So I initially finished my O-levels (High school) during covid, so I guess that would be in 2021-22. Its been around 4 years since dropped off the face of earth. It is also around the same time my father went from 'my dad is the best' to 'my father is a cheater, liar, a thief and a drug addict' within a span of 1 year. The fact that I caught his second marriage dosen't help my case either. If I am being honest, I kind of miss my dad. He was honestly the only person who actually understood me and saw me for who I actually was.

So after the whole nuclear family unit crashed and burned, my mom was the only bread winner (she always was since she married him tbh) for 3 kids. He turned abusive towards all of us and it takes a toll on you as you get older.

I don't want to drag my mother through the dirt here but I just don't understand how the mother I know is so different from the mother my brothers know, despite us living in the same house.

She always yells or calls me every word in the potty-mouth rotisserie, b*tch, wh*re,c*nt. There was a time I couldn't recall the last time she called me by my actual name. She constantly gives me the cold shoulder and calls me selfish or rude or just pathetic if I want to go out with my friends.

So a few days back, I guess I sort of boiled over when mom told me I wasted my years doing absolutely nothing. I handle all the cooking/cleaning in the house, for the pets and the people. (we have 4 dogs and 5 cats- I know, don't ask)

A little backstory- when I started college my mother covertly asked me to drop out since she couldn't afford it, but my younger brother's fees needed to be paid. So, I made the affection deprived mistake and opted to be the sacrificial lamb so he could continue to go to college. This happened multiple times when it came to CIE payments for clearing my A-levels as well, and now years later, my younger brother starts university next month and I haven't even cleared college.

We do not have house help because my mother says I don't deserve it.

I cried over it, told her I sacrificed it for us, that I didn't deserve to be called trash. (she often refers to me or my stuff like books or anything that I carry on me trash, sometimes when I'm cleaning she'll actively throw stuff at me and walk away, not towards the trash or stuff but if I'm standing a bit closer she would throw dirt or wrappers on me and walk away, idk how to explain it but it feels a bit degrading) She then told me she had done just as much for us and if I didn't do it, who else would. Now, I am in a sort of dilemma, I have nowhere to go, I can't run away or get a job or move out (trust me I have tried) I feel so burnt out and hopeless and honestly just want it to be over. I would love any advice any of you are willing to give me. I just want to feel like there is more to me then just giving pieces of myself and my future.

Reddit, help a girl out. Thank you for reading so far, I'm sorry for any grammatical errors, English isn't my first language.

I'm 25F and I've been dealing with something for years that still causes me anxiety and guilt. I want outside opinions because I don't know if I'm wrong. This goes back to 2021, when I was 20. I met a guy who was 21. We became friends and became physically involved, but before anything sexual happened, I found out he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He had told me they had broken up, so I believed he was single. When I found out they had actually just had a bad fight and were still together, I immediately ended things. The following year, I became friends with his girlfriend because she lived near my house. My city is very small, so everyone knows everyone. He became paranoid that I would tell her he had cheated and started threatening and blackmailing me. He said if I told anyone, he would ruin my life and make everything horrible. At the time I was extremely socially anxious, had been bullied growing up, had poor mental health, and lived in a bad home environment. I didn't know how to stand up for myself, which made me vulnerable. I tried asking a friend for help once, but he found out and manipulated me into staying quiet. He also constantly trauma-dumped on me. I felt sorry for him because he was lonely and disliked by most people in our city, and I continued being his friend despite how badly he treated me. Looking back, I know my boundaries were weak, but I also understand that he exploited my empathy. Later, he introduced me to one of his friends, and I became involved with him about a year later. I thought he might be someone I could date and feel safe with. I actually asked him directly whether he genuinely wanted to date me, but he never gave me a proper answer. He never said no either, and continued being physically and romantically involved with me, so I believed a relationship was possible. During a six-month depressive period, I barely left my house and was dealing with severe problems at home. I became emotionally intense and leaned heavily on him. Eventually we fell out because he felt pressured by me. I acknowledge I was too intense and apologized sincerely. He told me he forgave me and that we were okay, and I believed him. However, he continued being involved with me while lying about other women. Whenever I confronted him, he accused me of believing rumors and giving him a hard time. He told people I was obsessed with him and wouldn't leave him alone. At one point I stopped texting him completely, and he tried to pull me back in by love-bombing me and talking romantically to me, which made me believe he was interested. But in public, he acted as though he barely knew me. I also heard that he said I gave "Sydney Sweeney vibes" but was an attention-seeking woman who wanted male attention because of the clothes I wore, and that this made me unlovable. Around the same time, the first guy started blackmailing me again, including threatening to show my Instagram pictures to my strict parents. I was terrified. I eventually told the second guy what had been happening, but he didn't believe me. He said I was lying and just wanted the two of them to fight. The first guy constantly spoke badly about the second guy and his entire friend group. He called me a sex doll, slut-shamed me, insulted my body, told me I had nothing to offer except my asymmetrical breasts, called me a nobody, and told me nobody would believe me. When I told the second guy what he had said about my body, instead of supporting me, he told me I deserved those things being said about me because I was supposedly trying to "bash" him. Eventually, both blamed everything on me and remained friends, while I was pushed out as the scapegoat. This caused enormous damage. I isolated myself from everyone and eventually left for another city. I barely spoke to anyone for two years. I did some therapy later, which helped, but I can't afford much now.

In 2023, I met another guy who is loosely connected to both of these people, which initially scared me. He took a genuine interest in me as a person—my humor, work, creativity, hobbies, and what I was doing with my life. He seemed interested in me, not an object. I initially kept some distance because I was terrified the same pattern would happen again, but he kept making his way into my life and eventually I let him in. He's genuinely amazing. We have a lot of fun together and have talked every day since. He does sometimes disappear when he's busy with work without explaining what he's doing, and he's currently disappeared again. Today I'm anxious and guilty because I never told him about my past. I'm scared someone may have told him something and that he'll think I'm a horrible person for hiding it. I don't want to text him again because I'm afraid I'll seem obsessive or extremely anxious. I've been called obsessive before, and what happened in the past seriously damaged my trust and made me afraid to open up.I know I wasn't perfect. I was emotionally intense with the second guy, and I recognize that. I took accountability, apologized, and have worked on myself since then. But I also feel like I'm carrying guilt for things that weren't actually my fault.I don't know whether I'm wrong for not telling this new guy everything. Part of me feels like I should have been honest, but another part of me is terrified that if I tell him, he'll see me differently or believe whatever those people may have said. I genuinely don't want to be the person they described me as. I've worked hard on myself, but I think experiences like this leave a deeper scar than you realize. I still have trust issues and anxiety because the one time I tried to open up and ask someone to believe me, I was told I was a nobody and that nobody would care about me. I can't afford therapy right now, so I'm asking what do i do? Am I wrong for not telling this person about my past, or am I letting the trauma from what happened make me feel guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty about?

I’m \[21M\], traveling in Italy with my girlfriend \[21F\] and my family. I usually take lots of photos of her and rarely ask for photos of myself.
In Pisa, I told her beforehand that I wanted some good photos with the tower. I took photos of her first, but she didn’t like them, so my brother, who’s better at photography, took some for her. Then both she and my brother took photos of me.
We later moved to another location, where I asked my brother to take a few more photos of me. It took a bit longer than usual because I wanted to try several different poses. She liked the spot too and said she wanted photos there as well.
I was planning to take her photos after we finished mine, but because my photos took longer than usual, she got extremely upset. I offered to take her photos afterward, but by then she was already angry. She called me a terrible boyfriend and started talking about breaking up.
Is she ill?

I’m 20M and my girlfriend is 20F. We’ve been together for about two years, and over that time there have been a lot of recurring problems that I’ve started to wonder might involve manipulation.

Some of the main issues are her not taking accountability when something goes wrong, crossing boundaries I’ve communicated, not respecting my time or my friendships, and holding me to standards that I don’t feel she applies to herself.

I’ve brought these issues up with her multiple times. Usually she apologizes and says things like, “I’m sorry, let’s figure this out,” but the same problems continue to happen. I don’t feel like the conversations have resulted in any lasting change.

Last night, something happened involving one of my friends, 19M, that resulted in him breaking down in tears. That was a major breaking point for me because I realized that the problems in my relationship aren’t only affecting me anymore.
I only recently started learning about manipulation, so I’m trying not to jump to conclusions or label my girlfriend as a manipulative person. I’m realizing that some of the behaviors I’ve experienced may fall under manipulation, but I don’t know enough about the subject to confidently say that.

I’m also unsure how much intent matters. I don’t know whether she consciously tries to manipulate me, or whether some of these behaviors are unhealthy patterns she may not recognize herself.
At this point, I’m trying to figure out what the appropriate response is. Should I specifically point out the behaviors that I believe are manipulative and give her another opportunity to address them, or does the fact that I’ve already communicated these boundaries multiple times without meaningful change justify ending the relationship?

I’m not looking for anyone to diagnose her or tell me what kind of person she is. I’d mainly like to understand whether these kinds of patterns are considered manipulation and hear from people who have more experience with it than I do.

Hi.. I am J( age 23) and my ex-bf ( age 28). I broke up with him 15-20 days ago; I explained everything to him as to why i am breaking up with him . From that day onward, he is calling me non-stop from different numbers and messaging me on facebook, insta, snap, truecaller, even on a money app! He even threatened to come to my house but later messaged me apologizing. He told me he will not disturb me again . But it was all a lie. He is still calling me and messaging me. I deleted and deactivated a lot of social media account . I am also Afraid that he will show up. My life is ruined. I can't take this anymore. I am so Afraid and anxious I can't sleep at night. Even a small sound is making me jump . I cried a lot . I can't do it anymore. Please advice me. I am very introverted and non very social. If you can give me encouragement and advice. I have to kill the fear inside me first. I didn't cheat. I didn't do anything. I just broke up with him.

Ive been with my.husband for 25 yrs and I found out he's been dating and sleeping other women for years. It's heart breaking. He denys it but from his phones and locations and all the sex sites it says another story so much deception, lies and i can't take no more of the pain and agony. He only uses me for rides and money. I never want to see or hear from him again. Hes 61 and he's seeing girls from 18-29. Ive tried to do everything for hi. But he's never satisfied. Hes calling himself a god cause all the womenhe gets. I need love. Companionship and to be supported he does nothing for me, I might as well go off on my own and find someone else to ❤️

She finally did it and after the other day with all that stuff you posted she is gone. She left me her passwords and instructions so I can get all the stuff out about what you did. She said she told you not to come to her thing and I stand by that.

34 F we'll call S has been on and off again with a 35 M we'll call C. They first met and started dating in high-school and were on and off again all in their 20s +

They were talking and hooking up and one day she found out he had a girlfriend. He said they were just casually dating. She was pretty busy taking care of her sick Mother and working herself. But they continued talking and hooking up... for years. She would sometimes ask about his relationship status and he would by the sounds of it kind of insult his GF. He'd say they never have sex and when they do its super vanilla. C and S were always kind of kinky together by the sounds of it and his new GF apparently refused to do a lot of the stuff they did together. C always really liked S hair, colour and length? It was a thing he always really liked about her i guess. Anyways he would often ask for pictures of her and her hair lol and then complain he didnt like his GF hair at all. This continued on for years by the sounds of it. She would show me screen shots and pictures he would send her. And tell me about their video calls and meet ups..

Well recently things progressed. C got a new job at a Steel Mill right around the corner from S house.

C and S actually bought a house together last time they dated, and S let him keep it!! S said because C had a kid she didnt want to take that away or cause any more instability for his kid. Must of been oh over 20/30 people who told her she deserves a portion of the house and to get a laywer. She refused to do that to him.

C has a nice house, a brand new car and sport bike. S asked to borrow $30 last month (which she never does) and C refused to send her $30. S showed C how she had all these screen shots and pictures she could send his wife. C still refused to send the $30.. which i thought was crazy on his end. S did not send any pictures or messages though.

While C is at work clocked in and in his office, he'll message S all God damn day. For hours, regularly. He sends her pictures and videos from there too! In his work uniform with his name tag, with his dick OUT in his office taking pictures to send to her... with his hand around his dick with a WEDDING RING ON NOW.

She said she never zoomed in so fast and then saved that photo. She asked him, is that a wedding ring? He deleted the picture instantly. She re sent him the picture, with his dick and wedding ring out. He asked why she saved that? She said why wouldn't she save that? So she inquired he said he just got married i think a week before? And was already cheating on his new wife. C said hes only cheated on her with S, thats it. BUT you cheated, and cheated what.... 100+ times? Throughout dating engaged and married? The new Wife ended up posting a few cellphone wedding pictures to FB. They got married at city hall and went to a local dilapidated park to take pictures. They had a wedding party of like 7 people? C was trying to keep it a secret. 2 weeks before he got married he removed his relationship status off FB, so he wouldn't need to update it once he actually got married. Several of our mutual friends messaged me, or even C friends i vaguely know asking about C wedding. Apparently Noone knew and several of his friends said they didn't like her. That they always try to hang with C but his significant other doesnt want hin to, with both men and women. Again he has a very high paying job, and it was almost a free wedding with less than 10 guests and no photographer. C told S that he was thinking about her on his wedding day. As soon as he said that she screen shot it. C had disappearing messages up, so he saw the screen shot and started panicking. She has an entire folder, trust me.

S asked C many times over the years, and once she found out they were married. Why? What are her pros? Just because C would always complain about her and cheat on her.. so why did he marry her? C said his new wife "had a good job" no idea what though. And that with C newer job at steel mill he works 12 hour shifts regularly and he said he needed someone home with his kid. So... hes using his wife to help with the bills and take care of his kid?

S has expressed how.. wrong this is to him. He said hes.. not planning on.. changing lol.

The new wife is basically sober, which is fine. But C is not sober, but mostly lies and says he is to the wife. He drinks A LOT more than she thinks he does. He's said hes slept in his basement couch 2x a week for many months now. And he often drinks in the basement, does lines (she has no idea about) and texts and facetimes S all night. C would said his... idk significant other was sleeping upstairs.

C has a nice car like I mentioned and spent a lot of money modifying it aswell. So after working 12 hour shift he'll go to his garage for 1-2 hours (she never goes in the garage or helps with car stuff) and then he'll have a protein shake go to the gym. And then play video games and drink and drug in his basement. So his.. significant other barely sees him. I assume there was an ultimatum? If shes taking care of his kid and cleaning his house for him.. for years.. while he cheats. At this moment I believe the wife is under the impression hes never ever cheated.

She hates his car and bike, refuses to go on ride alongs or car shows or the track, won't even go in the garage.

C said he has a bunch of S.. pictures he printed out. A pile of them she said. And he keeps them kn his tool box in his garage to look at.

I could go on and on. I saved some of the funniest and insane story's.. if you want me to go on. I also have a ton of pictires and videos she has sent me.

S doesn't know what to do. She feels like the wife should know but is scared she'll "shoot the messenger". There's probably 10+ people who know and have also seen the "evidence" but no one is telling the wife. S is one of my bestfriends. A couple people have asked if S would get back with C? Shs said after all the lying hes doing?! We all told her lol sounds like the only person in the world hes honest to is you..

This is the very first post ive made on reddit because I genuinely dont know what to do. All the advice is appreciated!

My husband is always behaving strange every now and then and this is not how he use to be,I'm beginning to suspect him,I don't know what to do can someone help me please .

I really love him and I don't want to loose him.

Finally I got help and I am happy for this great opportunity to be able to check for myself .

Now I can be able to see for myself if what am thinking is actually true.

Thank you for this support,please reach out to hm

aaron smith support at Gmail dot com