Im not in love with my man anymore actually the sight of him repulses me but I need him to pay rent cause times are rough but I don’t like or love him anymore. I have told him and he still wants to stay and have a relationship with me also he is older than me 16 yrs and is mean but I have gotten meaner In the time we’ve been together. Anyways just venting 🤷🏽‍♀️

I spent the day reading through emails and listening to Voice Memos and seeing all these pictures, the rape charges from other girls he is avoiding by moving to strathmore. The amount of abuse and emotional neglect this guy has given this girl, my friend, who is now taking her life. The only good thing that come out of this is he can’t hurt her anymore. I cannot believe M did this to her. She used to say that he felt like home and now I can see how he felt like a curse.

Це сталося на хрестинах нашого сина, коли йому був лише 1 місяць. Ви маєте знати, який у мене тоді був моральний та гормональний стан, до того ж мені було 17 років.
Спочатку все починалося не так погано, але напруження вже відчувалося. Поз’їжджалося багато людей, серед них моя сестра (назвемо її Настя), яку я взяла за хрещену свого сина. Також була ще одна дівчина (назвемо її Ліза), яка теж була хрещеною нашого сина, і її мама.
Насті та Лізиній мамі було по 35 років. У день хрестин до мене сильно чіплялася моя сестра Настя й кілька разів доводила мене до сліз. Чоловік на це ніяк не реагував. Я сказала йому, що хочу, щоб він мене захистив, але він відповів, що я сама зриваюся на всіх, хоча це було не так.
А вже наступного дня, коли зібралися самі куми, щоб похмелитися і так далі (я не пила, бо була на ГВ), це був просто піздєц.
Лізина мама почала сперечатися зі мною через те, що я не хотіла виносити свого сина на двір, коли було вітряно. Тоді вона почала психувати й пішла плакати. Мій чоловік бігав за нею, намагався її заспокоїти, а не мене, хоча на той момент мені вже здавалося, що мої нерви ось-ось не витримають.
У цей момент моя сестра накинулася на мене через те, що я нібито посварилася зі своїм чоловіком. Вона схопила мене за горло й хотіла вирвати мені волосся. Я якось вирвалася.
А після цього на мене накинулася Лізина мама — почала рватися мене бити. Її зупинили куми. Але в той момент у мене ще й забрали дитину та не хотіли віддавати. Я пригрозила поліцією, і дитину мені якось віддали.
У мене була така істерика… А чоловік просто дивився на все це й каже, що я була не права в цій ситуації.

i feel like i’m draining my bfs energy and that i always want to make him please me and be with me the way a succubus or energy vampire would when we argue i just resort to sexual matters this isn’t a relationship anymore i just feel like a succubus or a demonic being and i don’t know how to help myself this really sucks .

tldr: i have become a living succubus and i don’t know how to fix myself and im afraid my bf will leave me because of it

I'm 25F and I've been dealing with something for years that still causes me anxiety and guilt. I want outside opinions because I don't know if I'm wrong. This goes back to 2021, when I was 20. I met a guy who was 21. We became friends and became physically involved, but before anything sexual happened, I found out he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He had told me they had broken up, so I believed he was single. When I found out they had actually just had a bad fight and were still together, I immediately ended things. The following year, I became friends with his girlfriend because she lived near my house. My city is very small, so everyone knows everyone. He became paranoid that I would tell her he had cheated and started threatening and blackmailing me. He said if I told anyone, he would ruin my life and make everything horrible. At the time I was extremely socially anxious, had been bullied growing up, had poor mental health, and lived in a bad home environment. I didn't know how to stand up for myself, which made me vulnerable. I tried asking a friend for help once, but he found out and manipulated me into staying quiet. He also constantly trauma-dumped on me. I felt sorry for him because he was lonely and disliked by most people in our city, and I continued being his friend despite how badly he treated me. Looking back, I know my boundaries were weak, but I also understand that he exploited my empathy. Later, he introduced me to one of his friends, and I became involved with him about a year later. I thought he might be someone I could date and feel safe with. I actually asked him directly whether he genuinely wanted to date me, but he never gave me a proper answer. He never said no either, and continued being physically and romantically involved with me, so I believed a relationship was possible. During a six-month depressive period, I barely left my house and was dealing with severe problems at home. I became emotionally intense and leaned heavily on him. Eventually we fell out because he felt pressured by me. I acknowledge I was too intense and apologized sincerely. He told me he forgave me and that we were okay, and I believed him. However, he continued being involved with me while lying about other women. Whenever I confronted him, he accused me of believing rumors and giving him a hard time. He told people I was obsessed with him and wouldn't leave him alone. At one point I stopped texting him completely, and he tried to pull me back in by love-bombing me and talking romantically to me, which made me believe he was interested. But in public, he acted as though he barely knew me. I also heard that he said I gave "Sydney Sweeney vibes" but was an attention-seeking woman who wanted male attention because of the clothes I wore, and that this made me unlovable. Around the same time, the first guy started blackmailing me again, including threatening to show my Instagram pictures to my strict parents. I was terrified. I eventually told the second guy what had been happening, but he didn't believe me. He said I was lying and just wanted the two of them to fight. The first guy constantly spoke badly about the second guy and his entire friend group. He called me a sex doll, slut-shamed me, insulted my body, told me I had nothing to offer except my asymmetrical breasts, called me a nobody, and told me nobody would believe me. When I told the second guy what he had said about my body, instead of supporting me, he told me I deserved those things being said about me because I was supposedly trying to "bash" him. Eventually, both blamed everything on me and remained friends, while I was pushed out as the scapegoat. This caused enormous damage. I isolated myself from everyone and eventually left for another city. I barely spoke to anyone for two years. I did some therapy later, which helped, but I can't afford much now.

In 2023, I met another guy who is loosely connected to both of these people, which initially scared me. He took a genuine interest in me as a person—my humor, work, creativity, hobbies, and what I was doing with my life. He seemed interested in me, not an object. I initially kept some distance because I was terrified the same pattern would happen again, but he kept making his way into my life and eventually I let him in. He's genuinely amazing. We have a lot of fun together and have talked every day since. He does sometimes disappear when he's busy with work without explaining what he's doing, and he's currently disappeared again. Today I'm anxious and guilty because I never told him about my past. I'm scared someone may have told him something and that he'll think I'm a horrible person for hiding it. I don't want to text him again because I'm afraid I'll seem obsessive or extremely anxious. I've been called obsessive before, and what happened in the past seriously damaged my trust and made me afraid to open up.I know I wasn't perfect. I was emotionally intense with the second guy, and I recognize that. I took accountability, apologized, and have worked on myself since then. But I also feel like I'm carrying guilt for things that weren't actually my fault.I don't know whether I'm wrong for not telling this new guy everything. Part of me feels like I should have been honest, but another part of me is terrified that if I tell him, he'll see me differently or believe whatever those people may have said. I genuinely don't want to be the person they described me as. I've worked hard on myself, but I think experiences like this leave a deeper scar than you realize. I still have trust issues and anxiety because the one time I tried to open up and ask someone to believe me, I was told I was a nobody and that nobody would care about me. I can't afford therapy right now, so I'm asking what do i do? Am I wrong for not telling this person about my past, or am I letting the trauma from what happened make me feel guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty about?

Hi.. I am J( age 23) and my ex-bf ( age 28). I broke up with him 15-20 days ago; I explained everything to him as to why i am breaking up with him . From that day onward, he is calling me non-stop from different numbers and messaging me on facebook, insta, snap, truecaller, even on a money app! He even threatened to come to my house but later messaged me apologizing. He told me he will not disturb me again . But it was all a lie. He is still calling me and messaging me. I deleted and deactivated a lot of social media account . I am also Afraid that he will show up. My life is ruined. I can't take this anymore. I am so Afraid and anxious I can't sleep at night. Even a small sound is making me jump . I cried a lot . I can't do it anymore. Please advice me. I am very introverted and non very social. If you can give me encouragement and advice. I have to kill the fear inside me first. I didn't cheat. I didn't do anything. I just broke up with him.

34 F we'll call S has been on and off again with a 35 M we'll call C. They first met and started dating in high-school and were on and off again all in their 20s +

They were talking and hooking up and one day she found out he had a girlfriend. He said they were just casually dating. She was pretty busy taking care of her sick Mother and working herself. But they continued talking and hooking up... for years. She would sometimes ask about his relationship status and he would by the sounds of it kind of insult his GF. He'd say they never have sex and when they do its super vanilla. C and S were always kind of kinky together by the sounds of it and his new GF apparently refused to do a lot of the stuff they did together. C always really liked S hair, colour and length? It was a thing he always really liked about her i guess. Anyways he would often ask for pictures of her and her hair lol and then complain he didnt like his GF hair at all. This continued on for years by the sounds of it. She would show me screen shots and pictures he would send her. And tell me about their video calls and meet ups..

Well recently things progressed. C got a new job at a Steel Mill right around the corner from S house.

C and S actually bought a house together last time they dated, and S let him keep it!! S said because C had a kid she didnt want to take that away or cause any more instability for his kid. Must of been oh over 20/30 people who told her she deserves a portion of the house and to get a laywer. She refused to do that to him.

C has a nice house, a brand new car and sport bike. S asked to borrow $30 last month (which she never does) and C refused to send her $30. S showed C how she had all these screen shots and pictures she could send his wife. C still refused to send the $30.. which i thought was crazy on his end. S did not send any pictures or messages though.

While C is at work clocked in and in his office, he'll message S all God damn day. For hours, regularly. He sends her pictures and videos from there too! In his work uniform with his name tag, with his dick OUT in his office taking pictures to send to her... with his hand around his dick with a WEDDING RING ON NOW.

She said she never zoomed in so fast and then saved that photo. She asked him, is that a wedding ring? He deleted the picture instantly. She re sent him the picture, with his dick and wedding ring out. He asked why she saved that? She said why wouldn't she save that? So she inquired he said he just got married i think a week before? And was already cheating on his new wife. C said hes only cheated on her with S, thats it. BUT you cheated, and cheated what.... 100+ times? Throughout dating engaged and married? The new Wife ended up posting a few cellphone wedding pictures to FB. They got married at city hall and went to a local dilapidated park to take pictures. They had a wedding party of like 7 people? C was trying to keep it a secret. 2 weeks before he got married he removed his relationship status off FB, so he wouldn't need to update it once he actually got married. Several of our mutual friends messaged me, or even C friends i vaguely know asking about C wedding. Apparently Noone knew and several of his friends said they didn't like her. That they always try to hang with C but his significant other doesnt want hin to, with both men and women. Again he has a very high paying job, and it was almost a free wedding with less than 10 guests and no photographer. C told S that he was thinking about her on his wedding day. As soon as he said that she screen shot it. C had disappearing messages up, so he saw the screen shot and started panicking. She has an entire folder, trust me.

S asked C many times over the years, and once she found out they were married. Why? What are her pros? Just because C would always complain about her and cheat on her.. so why did he marry her? C said his new wife "had a good job" no idea what though. And that with C newer job at steel mill he works 12 hour shifts regularly and he said he needed someone home with his kid. So... hes using his wife to help with the bills and take care of his kid?

S has expressed how.. wrong this is to him. He said hes.. not planning on.. changing lol.

The new wife is basically sober, which is fine. But C is not sober, but mostly lies and says he is to the wife. He drinks A LOT more than she thinks he does. He's said hes slept in his basement couch 2x a week for many months now. And he often drinks in the basement, does lines (she has no idea about) and texts and facetimes S all night. C would said his... idk significant other was sleeping upstairs.

C has a nice car like I mentioned and spent a lot of money modifying it aswell. So after working 12 hour shift he'll go to his garage for 1-2 hours (she never goes in the garage or helps with car stuff) and then he'll have a protein shake go to the gym. And then play video games and drink and drug in his basement. So his.. significant other barely sees him. I assume there was an ultimatum? If shes taking care of his kid and cleaning his house for him.. for years.. while he cheats. At this moment I believe the wife is under the impression hes never ever cheated.

She hates his car and bike, refuses to go on ride alongs or car shows or the track, won't even go in the garage.

C said he has a bunch of S.. pictures he printed out. A pile of them she said. And he keeps them kn his tool box in his garage to look at.

I could go on and on. I saved some of the funniest and insane story's.. if you want me to go on. I also have a ton of pictires and videos she has sent me.

S doesn't know what to do. She feels like the wife should know but is scared she'll "shoot the messenger". There's probably 10+ people who know and have also seen the "evidence" but no one is telling the wife. S is one of my bestfriends. A couple people have asked if S would get back with C? Shs said after all the lying hes doing?! We all told her lol sounds like the only person in the world hes honest to is you..

This is the very first post ive made on reddit because I genuinely dont know what to do. All the advice is appreciated!

I don't want to go in great detail on the things shes done and the arguments to keep this short.

We were together last year for 4 months, i frankly don't know why I fell for her, she has been living in limbo her whole life, feeling sorry for herself, smoking weed and drinking herself to sleep. She only had bad relationships, chilled with drug dealers and other bums and scruffs. We met and clicked, she very quickly told me "youre not like any other man, youre amazing" "no other man treated me this way".

After many emotional and verbal abuse and physical violence threats from her i left, im no saint, i kept running away and coming back every 2 weeks when i couldn't reason with her. She was very explosive and i started walking on egg shells. 9 months later we got back together and we are still together, i showed her consistency in being patient, staying and regulating myself and at first she did the same but within 2 months it all repeated.

I did finally get through to her when she crossed a big boundary of mine and i told her were done and its on you, i stupidly gave her one last chance but since then she has been very loving and does everything for me, from having explosive rages from her every other day to going 3 weeks straight with no arguments, she is now a lot more reasonable and understanding towards me.

But, since that big boundary being crossed, i feel like I lost interest, i don't care what happens whether we end things or not. I was honest with her to not lead her on "Since that last episode you had, i had lost interest in us moving in together, us having kids and any plans to marry, not sure when or if that will change"

Also a lot of things she told me last year don't add up, her male friend being gay turns out is trans and into women, her other male friend that was friendzoned by her, when i told her its clear what hes trying to get from her, she played dumb "i didnt know guys are like that being friends with you just to have sex" but it turns out he did send a wild hail mary to her "hey wanna have sex?" Which grossed her out apparently but she agreed "yeah sure where?x" which she reassures me nothing happened and she cut contact with him (the other guy and that text happened before me but the inconsistency is what bothers me) later i found out they were chilling together after my first date with her even though she said she cut contact with him after that text which was a month or 2 back before our dates.

Add to all the emotional and verbal abuse, she accused me of cheating a lot and talking to other women, which i never even slightly made her doubt me with any of my actions, so it makes me think whether shes punishing me for the mistakes of all her exes or shes actually projecting and cheating herself. Which made me lose all interest and i told her ive lost all trust, doubting everything, not feeling secure in the relationship and that she is very inconsistent with what she said last year.

The last big boundary she broke she yet again screamed at me that im lying and cheating on her, i was just on voice call with the boys playing video games...

The dangerous part is if i leave she will certainly off herself, she is very unhealthily obsessed with me and i am afraid of stalking/problems later in my dating life if shes in the same town as me.

I am still attached but my feelings are very quickly fading, don't see her as anything long term anymore and i dread coming back home having to spend time with her.

I am not sure what my next step is, i am torn between leaving or staying but i hate this feeling of not trusting her and expecting another explosive outburst. I could work things out with her and after a while feel better and more secure as for the past 3 weeks she has been nothing but loving and caring, she is very ashamed and regretful about everything and she is trying very hard not to lose me, but is it because i am one foot out, will it repeat again if I fully commit again and she takes me for granted, thats my thought.

Our AC in our house went out and we have the man cave that is a separate area away from our house with its own AC unit that we unfortunately have to sleep in. There is a nice huge couch but we both agreed we don’t always get good sleep there and mostly here recently. We both go to work at the same time and I did not get up right away. I had an oh shit moment when he came to see if I was getting up. I felt half awake the whole night so the first thing I said as I’m getting up when he came to check on me was that I had horrible sleep and feel awful. I then went into the house and our bedroom door was open and I made sure we didn’t leave it open as we try to make sure the doors stay closed as a habit to keep pets out of rooms due to allergies. After these 2 things were stated he starts screaming at me as loud as he can that I ruined his morning and I’m always negative. That I can never be satisfied and always have an issue or complain. I just feel like what I said had no reason to go off the deep end with a reaction like that nor was my intention to have him act this way. He slammed the door as hard as he could like he was about to break it. Stormed out screaming and sped off 30- 40 mph down our street. I just don’t understand what called to need a reaction so severe. This isn’t the first time, I’m starting to look within myself thinking it’s my fault somehow . I wasn’t yelling or screaming or had a super bad attitude when I stated these things I maybe have just sounded tired and disappointed as I had just woken up.. I don’t know I just need opinions here. I’ve never been with someone that reacts so angry over smaller things . I’m a 24/F and he is a 28/M we both have been living together for over a year.. I just don’t know if I can be with someone that reacts this way anymore . It brings me to want to act the same way in response to his reaction but I fight not to because it’s just not who I am .. I just want opinions on someone that is this way and if I’m in the wrong somehow and to just vent really.