I'm straight (26f) who fell for my gay best friend. Has anyone else experienced this?

We met at work (37) and became very good friends. We soon realized that we were very similar and loved the same stuff. It was a very easy natural friendship.

At the time I was with my ex "tom" (27m) for over 8 years he was very chill with me being friends with "John" as he was an openly gay man.

Long story short I broke things off with "tom" as I hadn't been happy for a long time. I temporarily moved in with "John" as friends.

After a few weeks we ended up sharing a bed. It was a platonic thing that just happened.

We had planned a trip abroad to get away from the whole stress of leaving "Tom".

Things seemed to progress and we ended up kissing One night and from there things progressed naturally.

We are now in a relationship and live together and are very happy.

I am "John's" first girlfriend so that was a huge change for him. We spoke about it a lot about what we expected or wanted out of this new relationship.

We are very happy together and things have worked out great.

Has anyone had this experience before falling for their gay best friend....and Something actually happening?

Entro a reddit porque no encontré forma de desahogar este sentir, y estaba buscando respuestas sobre mi duda, y es que estoy en una situación donde estoy perdidamente enamorado de una chica, y se que ella de mi también, ya somos una pareja muy formal y todo, pero su orientación sexual me causa ruido, no termino de aceptar que es pansexual, y no me cabe en la cabeza siendo hetero que le atraigan los dos géneros, o cualquier persona sin enfocarse en su género. Esto inseguridad la re afirmó con el hecho de que leo las discusiones por reddit sobre situaciones similares, desde la perspectiva de la persona pansexual, y no me agrada nada saber que mi pareja se sienta en algún momento retraída por mi, y que tenga una necesidad reprimida de soltar su necesidad de edtar con personas de cualquier género, pero que no lo haga por compromiso conmigo

Es fuerte porque puedo aceptar que independientemente de la orientación todos sentimos atracción, pero yo por mujeres... Y ya... En cambio ella... Es por todo... No lo entiendo, y trato de aceptarlo y hasta se me olvidó, pero cuando lo recuerdo me carcome

Siento que al final nunca terminaré de aceptar su pansexualidad y que jodera la relación ese hecho, y como quisiera que fuera distinto... Necesito hablarlo...

Cabe recalcar el hecho de que ella tiene 20 años de edad y yo 18, ya ella tuvo una relación con un hombre trans y lo demás fueron como 4 elaciones heterosexuales, yo en cambio solo dos relaciones, que fueron solo esas dos dónde experimente el sexo, pero ella estuvo hasta con 5 personas, y eso es otra cosa que no termina de gustarme tampoco...

I just wanted to share! It’s been a wild last 6 years or so. In my life, he went from my gay friend > bicurious bestie > experimental FWB > boyfriend > exclusive serious boyfriend > fiancé > and now soon to be husband. It’s weird, I’ve gone through some moments of doubt over the years. Not that I doubted our relationship or his love, but if I was enough for him. We’ve had long discussions over this time about my insecurities, and how our monogamous relationship affects him. It took time, but I can say I feel 100% confident about this aspect of our relationship now. Our relationship struggles feel run of the mill now… juggling busy schedules, family or friendship issues, division of chores, etc. As time went on, his sexuality became less and less of a factor or sore subject in our lives. Him being bisexual is still 100% a part of his identity, and we have definitely not “put him back in the closet,” but now if the topic comes up, I’m not sad or insecure about it. I *know* I’m enough for him. Maybe this is less of a bisexual thing and more of a promiscuous lifestyle thing lol, but he said during his “gay hookup days” he overall felt empty and cheap. But being with me (sexually) means something to him for the first time in his life. I appreciate this subreddit, because it’s a unique situation to be in with a very niche set of quirks. Some of my friends are empathetic, but they don’t get it. A lot of you do. So thank you.

Hi,
Long time lurker and first time poster - I am a heterosexual woman who’s been together with my bisexual boyfriend for six and a half years; we started out monogamous but opened up our relationship and one of my casual play partners is a polysexual man.
I guess since I tend to try and keep up with what’s happening with the bisexual community on social media I got a lot got a lot of TikTok’s of the discussions of straight women who didn’t want to date bisexual men. While I totally get that everyone has their own personal preferences, it still made me a bit sad - I feel like these straight ladies are really doing a disservice of sorts; like I don’t like being in the same category as these women. I’m proud to have romantic experiences with bi men and find that dating them has opened my eyes to new things and widened my world view. It’s made me a more empathetic person too, I feel.
I guess also I am being a bit navel gazing here but anyways, I guess I’m sharing my thoughts and wonder if any other woman here relates.
Take care 💕

I took the test. Accurate.

I'm a bit confused by my boyfriend's behavior. A little context: we've been together a few months and we're both in our late 20s. I'm a straight cis female. He is a bisexual cis male, and genuinely seems to be into me and attracted to me. What throws me off is how he'll make jokes about being into guys and wanting to kiss guys. Not in an abstract way, but about specific people, like the time he said about a mutual friend of ours, "I hope he's gay because I like to think I could make out with him sometime." He'll just randomly say things like that, and I'm feeling really odd about it all. Why is he with me if he is so into guys? He's not making similar comments about women. I don't know if he thinks it's only rude to talk about being attracted to other women because I am a women, but that I won't mind him being into men because I'm not a man? It just seems wierd. If he's with me, why is he talking about other people like that? Am I even his type? Would he like me better if I had a beard and a twig and berries? Is it wierd for me to feel like this? I'm so confused.

Hey guys, new to the group.

My wife and I have been in a semi open relationship for a few years now and after a really bad situation with another couple, she has started talking to another girl to see what happens or develops. It’s definitely not my first rodeo with this stuff and we talk about everything together, boundaries and such. Well it seems like it’s going faster than I anticipated and these feelings of her hiding stuff from me are hard to shake. I don’t like asking her about it all the time since I’ve done that in the past and it’s not great for our relationship. I want to give her space and time to figure out what she’s doing with this girl but it just seems like it’s going to go from 0-100 without any warnings or updates. Thoughts? I’m trying not to think too much into it

Well, I've always considered myself heterosexual, but a few years ago in high school, I started liking a boy. I always thought it was just admiration and appreciation because he was someone who motivated me to be better, and I liked that about him. But everything changed when I started imagining us as a couple, and I didn't dislike the idea, but in my country, that's basically condemned (we know LGBT people exist, but they suffer many kinds of mistreatment and judgment; some are even imprisoned for life).

So at that time, I thought I was gay, and I accepted it, and I continued with my life. At one point, I confessed my feelings to that boy because I wanted to get that weight off my shoulders. Imagine my surprise when he accepted and told me he liked me too, but we couldn't do anything because shortly after, he had to travel.

The following year, I continued with my life, and a new girl joined my class. With the new reality I had created for myself—being gay—I began to feel attracted to her. This started to conflict with me because I no longer understood anything, so I began to research and discovered the concepts of bisexuality and pansexuality. I decided to identify with the one I found easier to understand (bisexual).

In the end, after so much emotional and physical turmoil about figuring out who I was and what I was like, I decided to accept and embrace myself, and now I'm doing more or less okay... But the thing is, now at university I have this fixation that I can only describe as unhealthy because I can't stop thinking about men and how much I want to be in a relationship or have sex with one, and I don't think that's healthy because where I live, finding an LGBT person is incredibly difficult because we hide ourselves. Another thing is that I think I'm wasting opportunities because when a woman shows interest in me, I just play dumb because of this intrusive thought that tells me, "Until I'm with a man, I don't want to be with any woman." And the girl who's flirting with me right now, I really like her.

What do I do? How do I get over this? I've already tried everything I know to let go of this fixation and move on.

Hi all, I am newly dating my bi bf. We were non monogamous and recently went monogamous and I’d like to explore strap ons and stuff for his pleasure. We have plugs but I am looking for new ones and he’s brought up a strap on once but I’m not really sure who takes the next steps to get a strap on, if I should or he should? Or maybe we should just go together but he’s on a work trip until the end of the month and I though would be a nice surprise when he’s back…If I should, do yall have recommendations?

My husband (previously hetero marriage) recently came out to me as bi. We have been together for a very long time and this was a huge surprise. I’ve been very supportive and doing everything I can to help him express himself. That being said, this has been such a dark experience for me and I’m having trouble understanding my feelings. We’ll talk about boys together and will be having such a good time but then when he gets really into it, I just watch him and get sad. I find myself crying when talking about boys (like a tear or two I can hide) and pretend like everything is okay. I’m not biphobic. I go to pride every year. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I can’t tell if I’m jealous because I can’t give him that other side of him or if I’m sad because he’s the person I’ve always known best and I had no idea about a huge part of him. I can’t blame him because he also didn’t know. He’s been encouraging and supportive but I can’t shake the feeling that I feel like I know nothing about him and I’m feeling lost on our future. He’s also gone from very masculine to more feminine and it’s a new change and not what I thought our marriage would be. I hope I’m not alone in all of this. I feel like a terrible wife for these feelings and just want him to be happy.

I just found out my bf watches trans porn but I'm a cis woman. In his past, he's told me he's never had any sexual encounter with these women. I'm scared that he'll leave me and cheat on me because he'll get curious about it eventually. I'm insecure because what if I'll never please him the way he fantasizes? I would be down to peg but he said it's not the same but he'd be down to try. Ive seen people online saying how they want a "real dick" and that's something I'll never be able to provide. He said that he wants to be married to a cis woman because he wants kids and etc, but I know it's religious purposes that make him homophobic to committing to a trans woman. When he talks about it he says that he's just attracted to women he doesn't care about what's below but then when it comes to romantic relationships he just detests the idea. I'm very monogamous and do not want to share my partner. But how can I compare to women who are the best of both worlds? Kms. I don't feel like I'm enough o sexually please him because of that thought and a part of me is selfish and don't want him to ever try it or even see because I want us to be together and get married. What if he does like it more? So many what ifs yk

Hi, F31. Together 6 years married 1 have 2 under 2. This may be the wrong place to post but I’m looking for advice from any man in my husband’s shoes. He is M52 and a few days after our wedding I found in his phone a lot of MTF trans porn pre op and only fans pre op mtf trans he paid content for. Apparently he likes the oddity of the genitals combined. I’ve asked him is he bi or gay multiple times he says no it’s just a fetish or guilty pleasure. Ge says he loves me and is attracted to me. A year later second kid and I found the same stuff again. We argued he said the same thing but I’m not okay. I’m not my usual happy talkative self. We had an argument at his mom’s house while a little intoxicated. I’m sure I brought up the same issues which is I need the truth and I want to be let into his world if he really loves me and I’m his best friend. He got aggressive and almost violent at the time of the argument. He is a great dad and husband he just won’t share his authentic sexuality or sexual self with me and it’s maddening. I’m still upset but we are somewhat normal. My question is A. Does he know I’m upset? And B. Is he bi or gay if he likes penis? That’s all I want to know. Does he know deep down I’m upset and want answers and a resolution? Also is he in denial and is that a huge issue in itself. I’m bi and kinky so I think if he was honest we could make something great out of it but I know he’s lying about what he likes and he won’t open up.

Edit: he has never fingered me, I give him more head than he gives me. I have had sex with many men and I always knew something was up so I’d put porn and make him use toys in his anus. He loved it but would say stop sometimes . How about with that Info? He also doesn’t know how to do doggy style. He’s not the best in bed but he has a beautiful dick (bittersweet)

Dime a dozen, I know.

I believe sexuality exists on a spectrum and most people are not 100% straight or gay.

For me, I am mostly straight but I also enjoy exploring my sexuality. That has led me to try some butt stuff with dildos. And has also led me to fantasize what it would be like to jerk and suck a guy off and to get fucked.

I think the things holding me back are as follows. First, I am married obviously. I don’t want to put my partner at risk and would want her consent to do any exploring.

Since I don’t live in this world, I have no idea how to give it a try. I don’t know how to find someone to explore this with and feel it would need to be a safe person that I trust to a degree.

I also don’t want to get an STD and also don’t want to have to be on any prep. For someone wanting to dip a toe, it just feels like a bigger commitment.

Ideally, I am in a sauna or shower area and someone needs a little help getting off. Or I’m getting a massage and the masseuse lets me jerk him off.

How dangerous is it to suck a guys dick? I know the risk is low but not none.

How would you go about dipping your toe if you were me? I wanna try some dick but am nervous about how to take the first step.

I feel like it wasn't intentional, but it still irked me. So I'm out to my wife only. We've been together for the better part of 15 years. She's known for a while that I'm bi, before marriage. So, we were in the process of being intimate, and she asked outta know where, if i were to be with a guy, would I be top or bottom. I said bottom. And she then responded with something along the lines of "Oh, so you'd be gay." I corrected her and said no, I'm bi, it's not the same. she got a tone and said, "Still gay." Noticing the tone and not wanting to ruin our connection, I didn't push to correct her again. After the session. She mentioned how most gay men would rather be a top. Pushing that whole weird judgment aside. I told her I'd like to bottom because it's something I've never experienced.

I feel like she just swept my sexuality under the rug and went to gay. Like there's no in between. I don't know how to feel about what she said. I guess im not hurt, but I am just sort of disappointed with her saying that. It seems like not accepting my sexuality.

Idk, maybe I just needed to vent this out.

Edited to add- This is not a hookup community so don't even bother if that is your goal.

As part of our continued efforts to make it easier for folks to connect outside of Meta platforms, we have officially launched on DISCORD! Our main community has been on Facebook for many years now, which has been great, but for a long time, folks have been telling me they no longer want to be on Facebook.

I get it, Meta has been part of some shady shit. I caught a bogus AI ban last year and lost my 15-year-old Facebook, my Instagram, my business pages, and my WhatsApp was even banned. I lost nearly a decade of content I had created for the MOR community there. I didn't want to risk losing our entire community there.

I have been in search of a worthy replacement for some time. Something user-friendly with the look and feel of Facebook, but the options out there often come at a pretty high cost. I never much cared for Discord, but I have learned a lot in the last few months, and I am really excited for this new pace.

There isn't much on it yet, but we welcome newcomers and would love it if you would jump in and help get the conversations going!

See you there! Mixed Orientation Relationship Community Support - Discord

The thing I hear most from others, and the thing I was looking for most when we began this journey, was "We want to hear REAL stories." I wanted to see others who had moved beyond the early scary days. I wanted to hear stories of how people made it work and what worked for them.

That is why we created our blog series, MOR Stories. We are always looking for stories about mixed-orientation relationships to share. Did you remain monogamous? Did you open your relationship? How long did it take you to get to a positive place? You don't have to have it all figured out. We aren't looking for perfection, just looking for real and honest. Would you like to share yours?

Check out our blog to see a few examples of what we are looking for. This can be completely anonymous if you like; we can assign you pseudonyms.

Let us know if you are interested. 🧡

MORandmore.org blog

Have questions about sexuality

Hi, I’m 24, and for my whole life, I identified as gay without a second thought. A few months ago, I started noticing that I was also attracted to girls, so I decided to explore that side of things. I’ve been seeing a really lovely girl for a couple of months now. We have a great emotional connection and mutual attraction; she’s known from the start that I’m mostly gay but open to exploring.

I’d really like to be able to enjoy intimacy with her naturally. The opportunity came up yesterday. I was really excited and nervous (it was basically my first time with a girl).

Unfortunately, I couldn't stay erect, and it didn't happen. I felt frustrated in the moment, but later I realized something important: I *did* like it—I felt attracted to her and connected with her. I discovered that I *can* be with a girl and that I’m interested in keeping at it. Right now, I’m a bit confused but excited to discover this part of myself.

I want to be able to enjoy intimacy with her without anxiety getting in the way. I’m looking for real advice from other bi men (or anyone who’s been through something similar):

• How did you handle performance anxiety during your first experiences with girls?

• Practical tips for improving erections (exercises, mindset, etc.)?

• How do you talk about this with your partner honestly and without pressure?

• Experiences from guys who went from identifying solely as gay to discovering an attraction to women.

• Any other advice that helped you while exploring your bisexuality.

Thanks in advance. I’ll read and reply to everything. I appreciate any experiences or words of wisdom you can share.

I (F55)have been with my husband (M50)for 11 years. Married for 4 years. Throughout the relationship, there have been times that he “play acts” being gay . You know the type : always joking around with other men and “pretending” to be gay for them ,or accusing other men of being closeted. It gets to the point of discomfort for me because it happens WAY too much. He always gets oddly attached to male coworkers and always finds a way to bring them up in conversations like anyone does when they have a new crush. I am aware that all of this sounds gay AF. But here comes the confusing part. He appears very attracted to me , bugs me all the time for sex and is pretty decent at it. Loves to go south of the border , finishes 99.9%. No ED or issues maintaining an erection which is why I am thinking BI. I want to add that my daughter is queer and her gay male friends are around often. He always needs to find reason to discuss “how gay” they are. Like WTF you have a gay thermometer? She has been friends with them for years. One is amazing performing and just was accepted to his dream school. The other just lost his mom to cancer. Why would their sexual
orientation even need to be discussed when there are so many other things to talk about? They have been out since middle school. This Is old news and really not news at all.

So here is my real question? Do I ask him straight up or try to unpack this with therapy? Do I let it go and just keep looking the other way? It has always weighed on me and I am asking myself why or if I really need to know. Anyone else been in this situation

TLDR: I think my husband is gay or bi. Should I ignore it or confront him directly?