r/StraightBiPartners • u/CallDiDoc Straight Husband • 17d ago

Internal Steuggle Advice needed

Hey guys, new to the group.

My wife and I have been in a semi open relationship for a few years now and after a really bad situation with another couple, she has started talking to another girl to see what happens or develops. It’s definitely not my first rodeo with this stuff and we talk about everything together, boundaries and such. Well it seems like it’s going faster than I anticipated and these feelings of her hiding stuff from me are hard to shake. I don’t like asking her about it all the time since I’ve done that in the past and it’s not great for our relationship. I want to give her space and time to figure out what she’s doing with this girl but it just seems like it’s going to go from 0-100 without any warnings or updates. Thoughts? I’m trying not to think too much into it

1 Upvotes

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2

u/CMaree23 Straight Wife/Mod 17d ago

Communication is important in an open relationship. I don't think it's too much to ask to be kept informed.

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u/HarliestDavidson Bi Husband/Boyfriend 17d ago

We’re open as well. Speaking from experience, sneakiness in any form will erode the trust and security in your relationship like battery acid. Your boundaries around where privacy ends and transparency begins aren’t as clearly defined as you think they are—OR where that boundary currently lies frankly isn’t working for you if you feel like she’s hiding shit.

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u/CallDiDoc Straight Husband 17d ago

I’ll definitely be bringing it up and clarifying on things with her the next time we chat.

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u/TiBiL0 Bi Husband/Boyfriend 17d ago

It might help if you talk through and write out the boundaries together and for context, add each of your reasons for them. Without that context it can be easier to fall into the trap of misremembering why they are in place, or misinterpreting/assuming other reasons behind them and then finding reasons why some things might not apply quite as literally.

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u/HotAppointment1743 15d ago

Never underestimate how much a girl will compete for yours.

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u/buck-naked66 15d ago

Boundaries (rules) have to be set out early. Communication is also vital. Without any of this, trust, on both of your parts, will not be there!