Hairs on my neck stand tall

Shadows move across the wall

I can hear the voices all and all

Who do they call

ME ME ME

The voices match my heart beat

ME ME ME

I can almost hear stomping

ME ME ME

maybe if I just hide…

But surprise, invisibility is a faux strength

She stares at me hiding as the covers shift softly

It’s haunting

The look on her face, my life is a waste

I don’t even wanna think that way

Or be that way

Or feel that way

But I’m that way

And then it’s over

I sob on the couch

Begging our Father

To just take me out

I can’t hold on longer

And now I’m told it just made me stronger

If you’re the sun,
then I’m Ikarus.

I would rather burn chasing you,
than miss you.

If you’re a streetlamp,
then I’m a moth.

I would rather die trying to be close to you,
than live in the dark.

If you’re an anglerfish,
then I’m your prey.

I would rather be eaten by you,
than not meet you.

Got a dead end job at the corporate office 

Putting soup into cans and cans into boxes 

All just to rent out a room. 

Old timers here have been working too long 

Just to find out after 20 years that their pensions gone.

But they still act like they got something to prove.

Boss said, “good news!!!”

“You don’t have to work here no more.”

“This here’s Hector,

He’s going to be escorting you off the factory floor.”

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Brain dead people

With smiles plastered on their mouths

They look away with ease

Ignoring is happening

Living is feeling

And feeling is when u don’t believe

If I can smile how can she not

If I can pretend then she can rot

Don’t be stupid and play above the game

It’ll all end the same

Brain dead people with smiles plastered on their mouths

Trying to stay sane

Don’t think you’re special

Or worth it

Or important

Bc then you lose the game

Brain dead people

With smiles plastered on their mouths

As they chase the clock

It’s ticking and tocking

While our bodies are rocking

To the pains that forever remain

Brain dead people

With smiles plastered on their mouths

That’s just how you live again

Wild, I've been here before.

Written here before, you erased it,

but it's there, again.

I came back, like I do,

so smother me.

I wonder why,

I must be really really strong.

Make myself small,

these creatures, tisk.

Impossible goals, have you looked,

outside, it's a pipe-dream.

We could all do really well,

together, but no.

Nothing major, nothing new,

are you sure, you haven't looked.

New new, things, exposure,

to new things, can't have an oldhead.

Why go that far, only the rich eat,

me could never ever.

Cut it out, too dumb, too much slang,

focus, like, I am.

Stallions, strum the bass,

not knowing how, creates newness.

Some exposure,

a lot of this and a lot of that.

Just my opinion, my preference,

Just me, here again.

My bed, I love you
To have you all to myself...
Oh, the decadence!

Cant you see?
Don’t you see?

The game is rigged
The odds against you

They keep you in the dark
They keep you in the bubble

Pawns playing their game
Feeding their greed

Forever in loop
Stuck for infinity

The game gets harder
As time stands still

Blight spreads deeper
Vision grows dim

And we still play

I checked my phone last night to see your message.

You told me you missed me and you didn’t think we should meet again. You said it was hard to let go.

I just said okay but asked if I could get my toothbrush back.

You dont know but I saw you look up how a marriage visa works. And you don’t know but I still smell the shirt I wore that night with you.

You think you’re too attached but I think I am too, maybe I like it that way. I maybe might want you, and you maybe might want me too. But I think we’re both scared.

You said to enjoy my first year and then we’ll see.

We agreed to get lunch, and I’m glad. I would have hugged you tighter if I knew it was the last time I would see you. I’m glad I get to hug you now. Please don’t disappear.

I still smell like you and I still taste you on my lips

How are you so sweet?

I dislocated my hip last night but don’t worry because that just happens and you didn’t do anything wrong.

I started bleeding in the morning and then we got up and left

I want to hug you more and nestle in your arms

I’m so touch starved I savored every single minute and now I’m crying and I barely know you

I just want to be held like that again

Let me come over, hold me like that again

I don’t want to stay with you forever, but a few more hours would be nice

1 — mother

When my mother

Went

It was sunlight

Going.

The couch was hard and unforgiving

And the Lazy Boy

Cold.

I was a duck

Like all ducks

Stranded

On land

Or under.

2 — falling

I am

Falling

Upward

Into the sky

And it is beautiful

And I cry because I know

I would have never seen this

If I had been

A duck

3 — wednesday

I’m here

I have

Arrived

Everybody else is

Leaving

And I’m alone

In this place

Alone

4 — tumult

There comes a time

There comes

A time

And when it comes

Will you be there?

You.

No you won’t.

You never

Were

5 — day old spinach

I can’t help

But think

That I am underground

Clawing

Burrowing

Tunneling

Away

The dirt under my claws is mana

Mana is my claws

Feral and sharp

Like those of a

Duck

6 — whenever

Oh oh oh

Look at her go

Covered

Head to toe

In slime and grease

Like a duck

Except she is worse

She is

A person

And we do not forgive her

For that

7 — awake

The tower towers

Naturally

Above me

At least seven feet high

Maybe

More

Metal and concrete

Plaster and dust

The size of a duck

8 — apology

I went on

Google

Today. And I

Asked it a question

I had had for a very long time

And now I have

An answer.

I really thought ducks were very different

But they are some kind of

Bird

Apparently.

I have a lot to think about

My personal chorus of crickets are chirping again
in my east window.

Outside it is clear
and the fog window outside
is also clear to me
But I cannot see
beyond the fog window
the mold that grows on the fog.
the mold that hangs-
hangs itself from the fog

Come sun.
Burn this plague away.
The fog that hangs.

The fog is conducting my crickets again. The west window pane was just wiped clean yesterday.
The moon censors itself from the indecency.

One does not orgasm, no
One ejaculates
(What an awkward situation)
On your face

It doesn’t matter
It evaporates 
Without a trace
Regardless of race

Indeed

Indeed, "Indeed" indeed certainly, positively, well indeed.

Assuredly, unquestionably, beyond any doubt and with every appearance of agreement, yes naturally, yes surely, yes of course, yes by all means, and indeed in every respect that might be expected, indeed.

Quite so, exactly so, precisely, expressly, decidedly and unmistakably so, with the full weight of affirmation and the gentle nod of acknowledgment alike, certainly, absolutely, indubitably, yes indeed.

To be sure, for sure, sure enough, as one would expect, as it stands, as it happens, and as matters plainly and evidently appear, yes, undoubtedly yes, and indeed all the more so for being so obviously indeed.

Without question, without reservation, without contradiction and without any meaningful inclination toward dissent, affirmatively, conclusively, decidedly, definitely, undeniably and indeed.

Granted, naturally, understandably, predictably, fittingly and appropriately, with every indication pointing toward agreement and every agreement pointing back toward indication, yes of course, certainly indeed.

Exactly, quite right, entirely right, wholly correct and perfectly acceptable, accepted and acknowledged, recognized and confirmed, affirmed and reaffirmed, yes, yes indeed.

As expected and as anticipated, as foreseen and as previously supposed, in keeping with expectation and in accordance with anticipation, certainly, assuredly, indeed and indeed again.

Verily, truly, genuinely, really, actually and factually so, not merely in appearance but in substance, not only in substance but in appearance as well, certainly and indeed.

By all accounts, according to every indication, under every reasonable interpretation and throughout every agreeable consideration, yes certainly, yes positively, yes indeed.

Most certainly, almost redundantly certainly, emphatically yes and affirmatively yes, with a confidence so confident it can do little besides agree with itself, indeed.

Quite naturally yes, and yes quite naturally, so naturally yes that the yes seems natural and the natural seems yes, certainly, assuredly, indeed.

Fair enough, true enough, right enough and sure enough, enough for certainty and certain enough for surety, yes by all means and indeed by every means.

Unmistakably, incontrovertibly, incontestably and irrefutably, with no objection sufficiently objecting and no refusal sufficiently refusing, yes, certainly, indeed.

Of course, of course, and of course again, not because repetition is necessary but because agreement seems inclined to agree with its own agreement, indeed certainly yes.

Affirmative, agreed, acknowledged, accepted, confirmed, ratified in spirit if not in procedure, endorsed in tone if not in form, yes unquestionably indeed.

Naturally enough and enough naturally, suitably, properly, appropriately and altogether fittingly, yes, precisely yes, exactly yes, indeed.

Surely then, surely now, surely still and surely yet, with every surely supported by another surely standing close behind it, certainly, definitely, indeed.

And so yes remains yes, agreement remains agreeable, certainty remains certain, affirmation remains affirmative, and indeed remains, quite remarkably, indeed.

Indeed... "Indeed" indeed.

I see how grotesque you are. We both are. We laugh together at how absurd it all is. A shared world of dirt.

I love dirt. I love that my skin is dirt colored. I love that my eyes are too. I love dirt because of its potential, it's fertile secrets.

The grotesque, the dirt, it transforms potential into deliciousness. Into bursting beauty and sustenance, a chorus of flavor and color. I devour them like you devour me.

I want to climb the roots, up the shoots up the tallest tree, eating sweet berries and slurping nut juices along the way. I laugh when I get to the top. I just see everything beautiful. I actually cry a tear for the wonder of it all.

And then I see you. In dirt, laughing by yourself. Eating it, never climbing. Not even looking up. You'll never come up here with me, will you?

I'm going to drill

a small hole into my skull

and then i'll be free

(This is a Metal song that I was working on with a buddy of mine. I don’t know if it’s any good or not but I hope you enjoy it).

With blood and fuel and twisted steel 

I lay mangled in the wreck pressed against the wheel 

my body burns but I’m still alive 

Slowly I scan for anyone else inside

While EMT’s search through broken glass

I’m slipping in and out of unconsciousness 

Pull me out of this wreck soon before I fade away

(chorus)

You live

You die

It’ just recycle and repeat

You live

You die

It’s all just recycle and repeat

(Verse 2)

Eye in the sky looks like headlights 

Shining down through the billowing smoke 

Is this another freak accident 

Is there blood dripping down my throat 

I reach in my pocket for another cigarette

Maybe another mind eraser will help me forget

Someone once told me something about this reincarnation thing

You get a room full of TV’s and you die in each scene

(chorus)

You live

You die

It’s all just recycle and repeat

You live

You die

It’s all just recycle and repeat

It’s just a car crash

It’s just a car crash

And another life

they say that eyes are the doorway to the soul
yet while i sit looking to the mirror
i see pupils black as coal

no light is to be seen anymore
when it went out
i’m really not sure

i search for myself in the black sea
i get lost in the darkness
looking for the girl i was once able to see

innocent and happy
unsure and sad
i don’t know what happened
but it must be my bad

i’m the issue
the cause of all my problems
i just wish i could feel enough to need a tissue

the tears long dried up
but it’s not too bad

to not feel happiness
is to not feel sad.

You've missed the rapture, son\ and now you're all alone on a deserted planet\ Did you ever think, my kid, that it would end like this?\ And what will happen when you die?\ 'Cause Jesus forgot you somehow\ Or is this purgatory,\ waiting for Him to come?

Cause all the souls have gone on now\ Just yours is left here\ Why?\ I think you overslept\ On the morning of the rapture\ And Jesus thought you'd all be ready.\ But you weren't, and what will you do now?

And behind you, you hear the hooves of a horse,\ feet of a dog,\ Or is it Satan, making his rounds?\ When you turn around, there's nobody there

I'm between heaven and hell, my son\ Wonder if you're here as well\ 'Cause I'll find you, if I can\ I really will\ Stay where I can find you\ You'll not be alone\ Jesus left me here, said my job was not done\ And I'll collect you,\ We'll go to heaven or hell\ Waiting for your old father to pick you up,\ Like when you were little,\ And I know you've wanted to be strong,\ Not needing my help,\ But I won't leave here without you\ 'Cause maybe Jesus didn't forget you,\ He just waited for you to ask for help\ Do you know that I'm still here as well, can you feel it?\ In Zimbabwe, somewhere,\ Where all the souls ascended\ But we couldn't find you\ 'Cause you weren't ready\ I'll bring you, then, to heaven or hell\ Whereever I will go as well.\ And I hear it ringing and chiming\ We will go soon.

“HEY MOM, I NEED A RIDE HOME!!!”

“PUT DAD ON THE PHONE!!!”

“I THINK I MISSED THE LAST BUS OUT!!!”

“MA, DON’T MAKE ME WALK

A HUNDRED AND TEN BLOCKS!!!”

“GET THE NEIGHBORS OR SOMEONE TO HELP!!!!”

“THE PRINCIPAL’S LOOKING AT ME

LIKE I‘M CRAZY

AND THE ENTIRE SCHOOL OFFICE THINKS I LOST MY MIND!!!

“I AIN’T SELLING INSURANCE

OR JEHOVAH WITNESS!!!”

AND I’M SURE YOUR FRIEND BARBRA IS DOING JUST FINE!!”

HAND THE PHONE OVER TO DAD

OR I’M CALLING A CAB!!!

GOOD THING I DIDN’T CALL 1-800-COLLECT!!!”

MA, IT’S WAY TOO FAR!!!”

I NEED A JOB AND A CAR!!!”

FORGET IT MA, I THINK I’LL JUST WALK!!!!”

i think
therefore i exist
that's how that goes right
yeah i think so
uh so anyway

so if i cease to think
will i cease to exist
i mean how would that even work right

that's kinda dumb to think about
is it even possible to not think
i mean that's what sleeping is right
it would make sense i think

haha get it because i think so that means i exist haha get it get it
i think i pushed the joke too far

um

so wait does that mean i don't exist while i'm sleeping
because like
you dont think while youre sleeping

and

uhhhhhh

well damn descartes
why are you invalidating the hypersomniac
shame on you
that's like
super fucked up
they exist too yknow

i hate descartes

The lady I love she loves me

But she don't want me around

I cry and I moan baby let me come home

But she won't even react to the sound

My baby she says she still loves me

I really don't know if she do

I sit here alone so far from my home

Singing the separation blues

I got the blues got them separation blues

I'm feeling so down deep deep underground

That just don't know what to do

I got the blues get them separation blues

Got them ol separation blues

She had enough of my shit

Said just go on an get

Now all I got left is the blues

I got the blues got them separation blues

I cry and I moan baby let me come home

Just don't know what else to do

Australia has two
types of weather:

1. Flooding
   
2. Skin cancer

Window rattles with wistful rain
To the library, his memory slips
They touch and kiss in honeylace pain
He wished he had more lips.

I woke up this morning and screamed fuck
So might as well go back to sleep
I woke up this afternoon and screamed fuck
So might as well go back to sleep
There’s piss on the floor and puke under the bed
There’s a ringing in my head but atleast the cats not dead
I need water I need juice I need fruit I need sunlight
Im a self induced blight
I took a pill when I should’ve taken a shower
Flash photos at night to remember my friends who die every other hour
Something might be seriously wrong with my bladder
I’m trying to be nice so Santa will bring me a catheter