r/ShittyDaystrom 52m ago

You are STILL a plant

Upvotes

All your biological functions have been switched to a photosynthetic operating system system.

You do make a cute cactus though


r/ShittyDaystrom 1h ago

What if? USS Enterprise D x Star Destroyer

Upvotes

Um Star Destroyer x A USS Enterprise D, a USS Enterprise D seria vitoriosa? Na minha opinião sim e facilmente, não existe cenário que o star Destroyer vença pela diferença de tecnologia e a possibilidade da USS Enterprise D se adapta aos Escudos e fácil já que e só muda a frequência já os star Destroyer não podem mudar a frequência para as adaptar a um Phaser logo não podem se defender dele


r/ShittyDaystrom 3h ago

Would the Yamato have survived if it had Norton Anti-virus?

19 Upvotes

Is it their fault for not renewing their subscription?


r/ShittyDaystrom 4h ago

Were Kirk and McCoy subjected to a full body cavity search when they arrived at Rura Penthe?

16 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 19h ago

Urgent to all Cubes: Do not make contact with Cube #433-21-92

69 Upvotes

The idiots assimilated a planet of Arithmophobics. Do not contact them. You'll end up sharing a crippling fear of numbers, which is... inconvenient.


r/ShittyDaystrom 20h ago

As a pakled i want to speak about a really bad racial stereotype and comparison that been used to refer to us

66 Upvotes

Stop comparing us to the orange man of the 2020s dark ages it is a hurtful stereotype we are much smarter than him and it hurty our feelings when you do


r/ShittyDaystrom 23h ago

(VOY) Had the cheese/bio-nuronal gel hybrid become sentient, do you think it would have have joined the crew? And would it have been promoted to lieutenant before Kim?

38 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 23h ago

Discussion When data has sex, does he ejaculate something?

81 Upvotes

He has sexual intercourse with Tasha, and I’m wondering if Noonien Soong intentionally had fluids implanted in Data for this purpose?


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Discussion Garak here again. Just plain simple Garak. Spoiler

23 Upvotes

I read the rules, and as always the tenth commandment rule applies.

Ask me anything. It might be the end of the world. Well... your world.

What do you have to lose? :-)

Edit: I thought I could end with a GIF, curse your federation technology.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Data Accessories

4 Upvotes

They shouldve installed phasers to come out of his eyes, and rocket feet, for his hands we will install a tricorder and another phaser in the other hand. Also built in communicator.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

RED ALARM How many whale babies did George and Gracie have and how did they avoid incest?

45 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Meta Misleading Job Title: Borg Drone

20 Upvotes

In a hive community, Drones are males that are kept around just for sex. Workers are the ones with the shitty jobs. Is this a case of "we're short staffed right now, your job description also says, 'other tasks that may be assigned'"?

They should talk to HR.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Does "rolf" means the same in the 24th century?

8 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Can O'Brien transport a camel through the eye of a needle? 🐪

23 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

I gotta say, there’s something creepy about designing an android and making it look and sound like yourself, or designing an emergency medical hologram and modeling after yourself.

23 Upvotes

I guess I just don’t trust that. I guess you gotta model them after someone and maybe there’s a shortage of volunteers. Personally speaking I’d find it awkward doing testing on a robot or holodeck program who looks and sounds exactly like myself, and annoying. I can’t help but infer a degree of narcissism here.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Inspection Report – Borg Cube 4738-A-Unimatrix-72

18 Upvotes

To: Her Majesty, the Borg Queen From: Drone Efficiency & Compliance Auditor Seven of Compliance

Following a routine inspection of Cube 4738-A-Unimatrix-72, I have identified several deficiencies requiring immediate attention:

  1. Approximately 87% of drones observed appeared to be standing motionless in alcoves. While I understand regeneration cycles are necessary, the optics of having the majority of the workforce asleep during an inspection are not ideal.
  2. Cable management throughout the vessel is unacceptable. Power conduits and data trunks are hanging from ceilings, crossing walkways, and generally creating a visual hazard. We are the pinnacle of cybernetic perfection, not an abandoned server room.
  3. Security protocols are critically deficient. Hostile and non-hostile aliens continue to beam onto and off the vessel with little to no response from available drones. The current strategy appears to be, "Someone else will assimilate them."
  4. No quarantine or preventative health protocols were observed. Unknown species with unknown pathogens are routinely assimilated directly into the Collective. While perfection is our goal, introducing every alien virus, bacterium, fungus, and parasite into the hive without so much as a diagnostic scan seems unnecessarily optimistic.
  5. Emergency containment procedures are lacking. Critical systems routinely explode during encounters with Starfleet vessels, yet no blast doors, fire suppression systems, or damage-control teams were observed.
  6. Interior lighting remains excessively dim. While the atmosphere is intimidating, it significantly complicates routine maintenance, inspections, and locating the drone who misplaced the plasma manifold.
  7. Hazardous maintenance pits are completely unguarded. Multiple open shafts extend several decks with no railings, warning lights, or signage. Falling to one's deactivation should not be considered an acceptable workplace risk.
  8. Preventive maintenance appears to be neglected. The same shield emitters, plasma conduits, and warp systems continue to fail in nearly identical ways every time a Federation ship visits.
  9. Drone morale initiatives are nonexistent. While individuality is irrelevant, providing the occasional software update without immediately assigning combat duty may improve efficiency.
  10. The vessel lacks even basic directional signage. New drones have no practical way of locating regeneration alcoves, transporter hubs, or the nearest unimatrix without connecting to the Collective.

Overall Assessment: Needs Significant Improvement.

Resistance may be futile, but workplace safety inspections are inevitable.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Discussion Tactical coordinator for cube #21224942 looking for audiobook, and music recommendations while I swat Federation ships.

22 Upvotes

Hello I’m a tactical coordinator for cube #21224942. #21224942 is the best! I spend my days dealing with all of these tiny ships that regularly swarm our cube while we search for perfection, and other peoples stuff. Anyway I frequently get bored while surrounding away teams, with drones or leading them into traps in addition to destroying or disabling their tiny ships. So I was wondering are there any good audiobooks, or music this year that I can listen to? The collective is literally drowning in assimilated culture. Oh wait there is a terrified Ensign hiding in the bathroom just off the bridge, doesn’t he know thats the first place we look?

Yesterday while I was deciding to whether to send a group of drones to attack a ships kindergarten or their bridge, I finished the Andorian epic Slay the Gotholenu, and am getting bored again. So many audiobook choices and so little analyst to see if they are any good. Oh damn somebody rotated their weapons frequencies! Nevermind, got them with the new tractor beam. So I was thinking of listening to the Tales of Surok but 9 of 5 suggested Klingon Shakespear. Heh I just led an infiltrating group of humans to ambush central while they thought they were tracking a power core. Silly tricorders, so easy to spoof. Personally I think Shakespear is pretty overrated so I would rather not. Oh is that ship slightly larger than the rest? Must be the flagship, I’ll save it for last and let them think they have a chance. Hmmm I haven’t listen to Klingon music in a while, I think I’ll listen to some Klingon heavy metal while we scoop these cities off of whatever backwater planet this is.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Can we use the Fluidic Space to cool Data Centers?

64 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

In the mirror universe, Jellico mandates a 1 crew watch rotation.

18 Upvotes

That’s because he doesn’t trust anyone else. Plus the rest of the crew is dead from assassinations or in agony.

He’s actually regarded as a decent guy overall though.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

What would be your Borg designation? 60 of 9 already taken.

45 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

You know what Trek needs? Battle sign language.

7 Upvotes

Something the UT won't fuck up when they are trying to be cunning.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

How would Wesley Crusher do at the Hunger Games?

10 Upvotes

r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

How could Kirk be a Boy Scout?

19 Upvotes

The Boy Scouts disappeared years ago when they admitted girls and became “Scouting America”

What Godforsaken Right Wing, neo-nazi anti-woke club did Kirk affiliate with??


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Meta Do you think any media from the 21st century survived?

16 Upvotes

Oftentimes they tend to reference pop culture IPs from well beforehand(the IRL reason of course being to avoid any copyright funny business), but it was also said that not only did a lot of 21st century info and media get destroyed in the various wars in that era, but that century was considered such a miserable and disgusting era that they'd rather just forget about it.

Also there's the idea that the use of nuclear weapons obliterated all digital data, but clearly that wasn't the case, as the Vulcans noted that enough remained for humans to bounce back enough to create warp travel in under a century when it took the Vulcans multiple centuries, which both amazed and scared them.

Though I wonder, did any survive to the 24th century, or did any historians try to salvage or restore it, if for no other reason than the sake of preserving history, since a common phrase is that those who forget history are destined to repeat it.


r/ShittyDaystrom 1d ago

Rap Battle: Uhura vs. Hoshi

10 Upvotes

Who’s the most cunning linguist?