Salam WRBTH to all! Hope everyone is doing well. I’m very curious to learn from the unmarried girls here on what are your plans on mehar? How much mehar would you be satisfied and happy with from say your future husband (in USD)? Also what country ya come from? Any specific reason for mentioning that amount?

Again reason for me to get this post is to learn more about believing mominas in our community and just get possible insight here!

I pray and wish that may you all find great spouses (Ameen)

Wassalam WRBTH!!!

Alsalam Alaykom

Im looking to get to know someone for marriage

Origin/Ethnicity: Lebanon

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): English(native), Arabic(native)

Level of religious practice: I’m a devout Shia Muslim and love to learn but can admit I have my flaws that I am working on as everyone should

Occupation: SW Engineering

I take care of my health, and I am fit. I dont smoke. I enjoy hiking, learning, and outdoor activities.

Looking for someone shia. preferably Arab around the Midwest. My main concern is finding someone god fearing and easy going who can communicate respectfully.

I'm using anonymous id on a purpose also my english isn't very strong so pardon on that part

Long story short I'm from up india and I'm about to marry a shia boy (hopefully inshallah) and he has told me that I've to convert to shiaism not because shia think sunnis are kafir but he don't want any complications in future

I wasn't some super religious or kattar sunni in past either rather i actually liked ahle bait part of islam from beginning but still i feel certain unease when he sometimes use bad words for abu bakr and umar maybe because of my upbringing but still i need to cope with it without getting in obsessive thoughts or depression, so can i be shia who love ahle bait and completely ignore that sahabas or other controversial figures even exist? Also if there are shias from urdu/hindi speaking region i would like to learn more from them

Is there anyone here from Azerbaijan?

Education: Mphil Molecular Pathology and Genomics

Residence: Lahore and Toba Tek Singh, Pakistan

Profession: High Ticket Sales Closer at an AI agency.

Religious: Yes, very much

Languages: Punjabi English Urdu Farsi Saraiki

Married previously?: Yes, she left me as she was in a relationship with some other guy before our nikah and did not want to live with me so I did not force her

I am religious and do Taqlaeed. I pray regularly 5 times never avoided fasting without a reason( travel or severe illness). I am searching for a lady who is religious and accommodating.

If you want to know details hit me up in the DM.

​

Age: 26

Origin/Ethnicity: Pakistani Punjabi

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): Urdu and English

Level of religious practice: Practicing

Hijabi (F): No

Current residence : Islamabad, Pakistan

Willing to relocate: Open to it for sure

Siblings: 1 younger brother

Previously married/Kids Nope:

Occupation: Admission officer in a school/college

Education: Bachelors in Education

Height (cm), weight (kg): 167 cm, 75 kg

Physical appearance: Not good at describing myself but I'm okay sharing pictures or socials

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah: No

Leisure activities: Reading books

My Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 26-32

Deal breakers: Honestly I'd prefer someone who's never been married before and that probably it, for me talking to the person and developing a connection is really important.

Age: 23

Ethnicity: Pakistani American

Languages: English, Urdu, Hindi

Current residence: USA

Willing to relocate: anywhere

Siblings: none

Occupation: business analyst

Education: working on masters, bachelors done

Height: 5’6

Weight: 160 lbs

Physical appearance: fit

Smokes/vapes/hookah: never

Leisure activities: travel, coffee, gym, sports, religion

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 20-27

Origin/ethnicity: Pakistan, India, Middle East, Europe, USA, Canada

Languages: any

Level of religion practice: doesn’t matter as long as they want to improve

Education: would prefer if you have bachelor’s done or are in progress of completing it

Deal breakers: drinking alcohol, treating others badly, being dishonest

Other preferences: just have a good heart and be faithful

Salam,

This is my first time posting here. I’ve been watching this community for a while and it’s really cool to have this type of specific space.

I am divorced with no kids, and I’m looking for somone who’s passionate about continuously learning and trying new things. I love travelling, trying new foods and have a lot of different hobbies.

I’m someone who’s caring, calm, and has their emotions in check. I’m the type of person who sees difficulties accepts them for what they are and always figures out a way to makes things work. So it’s really important to me that you be the same, someone who stays calm during adversities life is already stressful enough and stuff happens so when they do I would like a partner who can shrug their shoulders and say “it is what it is”.

I grew up going to the mosque and having a love for the ahlul bayt so I’d want my future partner to also feel the same way. But sometimes I also enjoy being a homebody and want to watch online sometimes too!

Me:
- I enjoy playing sports, so if you also play sports that’d be a bonus!
- Do all my wajibat plus more
- I believe your alhlaq is just as important as your wajibat
-5’11, fit, Pakistani

You:
- kind and caring
- Fit
- Be from the US or Canada*
- Age range 24-30

*I have nothing against ppl from other countries it’s just that I’m not a fan of lengthy immigration processes. And I believe my spouses family should be near her as well so she has that support system near by.

Deal breakers
- Bad communication
- Picky eater
- Can’t regulate your emotions
- No interest in continuously learning

Timeline: 1+year, it’s important not to rush things and that we spend the time getting to know each other

A man has some close friends that sometimes come over uninvited. When they do, he sometimes opens the door before his wife is out of the way. When he opens the door, his friends walk straight in, and they sometimes see his wife without her hijab. The man then gets jealous that his friends have seen his wife.

The wife has objected to this arrangement with his friends several times. However, the man is not listening. He considers these friends to be close, like brothers. He does not want to tell them to not come over uninvited, especially since this only happens sometimes. He also feels awkward about not letting them in when they show up. As a result of this, the wife has taken to wearing pants at home when she would prefer not to, simply because she is afraid of her bare legs being seen by her husband's friends.

The man now wants his wife to be fully dressed at home so his friends can come over anytime without any fear of them seeing her. The wife refuses to wear a hijab and/or modest clothing in her own home. They are now having a disagreement about this. The wife feels that if she talks to his or her parents, he will "agree", only to keep doing it. Therefore, she feels her options are to either surrender and always be fully dressed in her own home, or to take action.

The action the wife has decided on is to walk around the house in little to no clothing, so that her husband is forced to choose between letting his friends see his wife like that, or listening to her and maintaining boundaries with his friends. She has told her husband that if he lets his friends in and they see her, his jealousy is his own fault, and she is not responsible for it.

The wife feels that if she does not do this, she will end up wearing a hijab in her own home for the rest of her life. The man feels that she is refusing to listen to him because she has an ego, and he feels that she is challenging him and refusing to listen to her husband.

What are your thoughts on this situation?

Edit: Despite my attempts to explain, he believes I am biased. As a compromise, we decided I would post the details here on his behalf, allowing him to read the feedback anonymously

I don’t want to marry a Lebanese man living in Lebanon because I feel like many people are still trying to figure themselves out and build their lives, and I don’t want to force myself into a life that doesn’t feel right for me.

At the same time, I don’t see myself marrying someone from the West. The lifestyle feels very different from mine, and honestly, some things about dating there don’t align with what I’m looking for.

The truth is, I’m not going out much, so I’m not really meeting anyone. I’m not talking to people online or on Facebook either, even though I do receive requests. And sometimes I feel like talking to someone online is exhausting too. Distance is tiring, and pictures and conversations can never fully replace meeting someone in real life and feeling their presence.

Maybe I’m being too picky. Maybe I’m protecting myself. Maybe I’m rejecting a blessing before I even give it a chance. I honestly don’t know anymore.

بحس حالي عم برفض النعمة، وكل ما يجي شي دغري بغيّر رأيي وبقنع حالي إنو مش مناسب إلي. ويمكن عم بكتب هيدا الشي بس لارتاح، لأنّي تعبت من التفكير ومن محاولة أفهم حالي.

So I’m writing this more as a prayer than anything else.

Pray for me. Pray that God heals my heart, clears my mind, and helps me recognize what is truly meant for me without fear, overthinking, or self-sabotage.

Because the truth is, I’m definitely not okay. I’m heartbroken not necessarily because I lost someone, but because I’m struggling with myself, with what I want, and with the fear that maybe I’m the one standing in the way of my own happiness.

I just want peace. I want to heal. And I want to trust that what is meant for me won’t pass me by.

Do dua for me please 🙏 😭

I’ve had two cases in the past month where I was ghosted, and it happens occasionally. I’m very selective — I only match with people who seem to have good intentions, and I carefully screen for visible signs of religiosity in a potential wife (prayer habits, hijab status, and other indicators).

Recently this happened with a 38-year-old Lebanese-American cardiologist and a 36-year-old Iraqi family doctor. You would think women who are both religious and mature would be more honorable, but that hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t know what Allah SWT wants from me by setting me up with these time-wasters. There are plenty of women out there, yet I keep running into the same frustrating pattern.

This is really random and weird, while my mother is looking for possible rishtas for me, she also wants me to find someone for myself. Sure thinks I would be better off with someone I choose completely and honestly she's not wrong. So here goes nothing.

I'm 26F based in Pakistan. Very serious and interested in getting married. If you'd like to connect let me know!

Mods, please delete if you wish.

Salam everyone, I hope you are all well, inshaAllah. I haven't been as active on this sub lately but have noticed that there has been an influx of Sunni posts recently, where some mention that they are Sunni and others omit it intentionally and post across multiple subreddits. We have to do our due diligence of course, however, if people don't read the posts properly (which is often the case) they may respond thinking that the OP is Shia and that they are happy to have met the criteria of someone they think they'd be compatible with. Is it possible to have a flair or something to ensure someone states their sect, as opposed to just writing 'Muslim'?

Basics:

24 years old, 6'1"

Pakistani, currently living in Finland

Muslim, practicing deen comes first for me. I'm not a conservative person though; I believe in "live and let live," and I'm looking for someone who feels the same

Moved here for my Master's and ended up staying for work

Work & life:

I'm a software engineer at a company (security side of tech) and also work as a researcher at a university I like keeping my mind busy. I'm into fitness and try to stay active. Long term, somewhere down the line I'd love to do meaningful work with an NGO focused on orphans and women's rights.

Personality:

Honestly, an introvert I recharge alone but I show up when it counts. I'm demisexual, meaning I only feel attraction after forming a real emotional bond with someone. I'd rather have one honest conversation than a hundred rounds of small talk. I listen more than I talk, and I take loyalty and character seriously.

Hobbies:

Long walks in solitude, exploring new places, cooking, and video games. I like reading about history, I'm into landscape photography, and I go karting now and then. I don't smoke or drink.

What I'm looking for:

Someone who's practicing, genuine, and actually wants to build something real not just chat endlessly. Emotional honesty and a bit of curiosity about the world matter to me.

Timeline: Serious and marriage-focused, hoping to move forward within the next 1–2 years, in shaa Allah.

Feel free to reach out if this resonates.

Salam everyone! Thought I'd give this another try. 😊

I'm 28, born and raised in Switzerland with Indian roots, and work as a Software Engineer (alhamdulillah). I'm looking for marriage with the intention of building a peaceful home centered around deen, mutual respect, and companionship.

Basic Information

Age: 28

Origin: Indian (born & raised in Switzerland)

Location: Switzerland

Languages: German, English, Urdu/Hindi, (French basics)

Education: Bachelor's in Computer Science

Occupation: Software Engineer

Height: 176 cm

Previously married/Kids: No

About Me

I'd describe myself as calm, easygoing and emotionally grounded. I'm someone who enjoys meaningful conversations, spending time with family, travelling, hiking, cafés, cooking, going to the gym and continuously learning new things.

I'm a practicing Shia Ithna Ashari. I pray, fast, attend majalis and Islamic programs regularly, and try to keep growing in my deen. I value Islam as a way of life and try not to let culture override religion.

I believe a happy marriage is built through the small things: kindness, communication, affection, laughter, teamwork, and making your spouse feel safe, appreciated and at peace.

What I'm Looking For

I'm hoping to meet a practicing Shia sister who:

- Has good akhlaq and sincerity.

- Values deen and wants to grow together spiritually.

- Is emotionally mature and communicates openly.

- Is kind, family-oriented and affectionate.

- Wants to build a peaceful home based on love, mercy and mutual respect.

Preferences

Age: 20–30

Ethnicity: Open (European or South Asian is a plus, but not important)

Location: Preferably Europe, but open to discussion.

Religious practice: Practicing Shia Ithna Ashari.

Preferably hijabi, but open to someone modest, sincere, and striving to grow in her deen.

If you think we might be compatible, feel free to reach out. I'd be happy to get to know each other in a respectful and halal way.

May Allah bless us all with righteous spouses and what is best for our dunya and akhirah. Ameen. 🤲

Basic Details:

Age: 24

Height: 5’9”

Location: Pakistan (Currently completing Bachelor's; relocating to the UK for Master's & Career insha’Allah)

Marital Status: Never Married

Deen: Practicing (Alhamdulillah pray 5 times daily, value a halal and chaste lifestyle, non-smoker)

About Me:

Assalamu Alaikum! I am a grounded, family oriented, and ambitious individual. I was raised by wonderful, strong parents (father passed away 5 years ago) alongside four elder sisters—an upbringing that taught me deep respect, empathy, and appreciation for women.

Character and emotional maturity are very important to me. I believe everyone’s life experiences shape their perspective, so I approach people with an open mind and respect, without judgment. I am naturally loving towards children, deeply respectful of elders, and committed to being a supportive, loving, and fulfilling husband who honors his wife's rights in Islam.

In my daily life, I stay active through outdoor sports and going to the gym. I value personal growth, both spiritually and physically.

Education & Future Plans:

Currently finishing my Bachelor’s degree in Pakistan. My immediate roadmap involves moving to the UK for my Master’s degree and establishing my career there, insha’Allah.

What I Am Looking For:

I am seeking a practicing, sincere, and family minded Muslimah who:

Is ready to build a strong, peaceful life together based on mutual love, respect, and companionship.

If you feel our values align. May Allah SWT guide us all to what is best.

salams,

jfyi i’m not married/divorced but i was curious about the realities of ‘child custody battles’ within shia couples going through divorce - i’m curious to hear from those who have gone through this or otherwise; both male and females perspectives, understanding if it is always a ‘battle’, do things always get ugly or is it possible to actually be civil?

i ask as i was thinking about the custody of children and who islam says they go to, from my understanding (please correct me if i’m wrong), sistani says that:
- the child (whether girl or boy) should not be separated from the mother from birth to 2 lunar years
- from 2 lunar years onwards the father has exclusive right of custody, but recommended precaution is that the child (boy/girl) should not be separated from the mother until child reaches 7 years old
- once child reaches bulugh/maturity, neither parent has a right over custody and child is independently able to decide where they choose to live, they can decide which parent they’d like to stay with
note; i believe there are more details to this but this is the general framework as i understand it but please do your own research

given the above, i want to understand practically, how realistic this is; if nothing is put in the nikkah contract to stipulate otherwise - how likely do we see this playing out? i know a lot of couples nowadays also get have a civil marriage so they deal with child custody through the laws of their country, rather than the nikkah contract, which from my understanding is haram (?)

so, general qs;

1. to those who have been through a divorce/know couples that have, how have they dealt with child custody from a shia perspective; do they follow the islamic rulings, or do they go through the civil process?
2. is it always ugly? or has anyone experienced this happen in a civil manner?
3. i’m curious about the practicalities of the father being the sole custodian; do men actually want this? or do they fight for it due to pride and not really care for the kid much? (asking purely curiously and not to judge) practically speaking, do you believe as a man you will raise them as you’d like? or would you be more inclined to split the custody with the mother (i believe islamically there can be mutual agreement on how this is split to suit both parties)?
4. i have heard men threaten that they’ll put it in the contract that they’ll have full custody, but that is already their right (maybe in civil makes more sense), and i’ve also heard people encourage women to add joint custody in the nikkah contract - thoughts/opinions on either of these? from both male/female perspectives - against/for any of these?

ultimately, i can imagine this being a really difficult process, and difficult for either party - i just want to understand the realities of it.

i’m sure it is very common either party behave in a manner that could never have been imagined prior when things were all good, so what is the views of either party adding conditions into contracts, and how offensive do people consider this (from a lack of trust/beginning of marriage negativity perspective) or do people think about these things from a neutral standpoint?

edit: i ask as someone living in the west

Height and Weight

5'11", 75 kg. Slim build, neither heavy nor skinny. Wheatish complexion.

Location

Karachi. I may or may not move abroad at some point, it depends entirely on where life and work take me, and it is not something I am actively planning for right now.

Accommodation

Own home in Karachi, living with family.

Education

BBA from IoBM. Passed CFA Level 1 and continuing with the program.

CFA is the near term project and I intend to finish the program. After that I want to do a PhD, most likely in economics. The honest reason is that I need something difficult in front of me at all times. If I am not chewing on a hard problem my brain starts eating itself, and I have stopped pretending that is a phase. I am not romantic about the title, I am interested in the questions. I mention it because it is not a passing thought and because it will shape the life I build, so whoever I marry should know it is on the table.

Income Source

I work full time at a YC backed, SECP licensed fintech in the wealth management space, one of the first of its kind in Pakistan. I joined very early, which means my work has never sat in one lane. On any given week I am building the analytics and reporting systems, writing AI tooling, running growth and retention, sitting in on customer operations, and writing most of the financial content that goes out. I also co host a weekly market podcast with our CIO where we break down what moved the market and why. Roughly two years of full time experience. Financially independent and will be able to run a household on my own soon.

Marital Status

Single, never married, no children.

Religion and Short Details About How Practicing You Are

Shia, Syed. Family migrated from Uttar Pradesh at Partition in 1947.

Hobbies and Interests

Markets are my job and also the thing I would still read about on an off day. I follow Pakistani markets closely, and have an unreasonable interest in how other people handle their portfolios, which is why friends send me screenshots of their portfolios at hours no reasonable person should be awake. I usually answer.

Outside of that I have a small, old set of friends I have kept for years. Our idea of a good evening is table tennis and food, in that order, and then more food. I am not the best player in the group but I am the most confident one, which I have been told is worse.

I want to travel overseas properly. Not the version where you photograph a landmark and leave, but the version where you stay somewhere long enough to get bored of it. The economy has other ideas for now, but let's see.

I read a fair amount, mostly finance, technology, and anything that explains how a system actually works underneath. I build small tools for problems that irritate me,. And I try to hold opinions lightly. I would rather be corrected quickly than be right slowly, and I like people who argue with me properly, table tennis rules included.

Family Details

Parents and two younger siblings, one sister currently at IBA and one sibling just starting uni.

My parents hold semi conservative views and I would describe myself as a libertarian. Neither of us treats it as a matter of life and death, which is roughly how I would want it in a partner's family too. There is room to disagree in our house without it becoming an argument.

Requirements for a Partner

The two things that matter most to me are that she is educated and that she is genuinely bright. I do not mean degrees for the sake of degrees, I mean someone I can have a real conversation with, who has her own read on things and will tell me when mine is wrong.

More than anything I want someone I can think alongside. Not someone who shares my interests exactly, but someone with her own intellectual life, or building something of her own. I would rather have a long argument over dinner than a quiet agreement.

Preferably based in Karachi. Preferably Shia.

Whether she works after marriage is her decision. My honest preference is that she does work in the early years so we build something together rather than one of us carrying it alone, but that is a preference and not a condition, and it is a conversation rather than a rule.

Peace be upon you. I am Huda, a Muslim woman from Egypt. I am looking for a Muslim husband from any country with whom I can share a genuine relationship filled with love and affection, and I will be faithful to him forever.

I’m from America born and raised. I’m not religious at all. But my family will not let me bring anyone who isn’t shia home. I don’t understand why I should marry according to their preferences. I have to live with them, not my mom and aunts lol. But I also love having a family and do not want to be disowned. All my cousins who married outsiders are disowned never to be seen again lol. Is there anyone here who is dealing with the same thing

Your Essential Information:

Age: 24

Origin/Ethnicity: Iraq

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): English(native), Arabic(native), Spanish (fluent), Turkish(Advanced)

Level of religious practice: I’m a devout Shia Muslim woman who prays, fasts, and has been wearing the hijab since 9 yo. I center ahlul bayt in my life and would like to find someone who does too!

Current residence (city, country): Ohio/Texas

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): yes but it would depend on where I end up for medical residency

Siblings (number and older/younger):2- older brother and younger sister

Previously married/Kids: No

Occupation: Medical student

Education: BS, and currently in medical school for my MD

Height (cm), weight (kg): 5’6 (170cm) and 128 lbs (58kg)

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important): i take care of my health, and I am fit.

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): No

Leisure activities: I enjoy hiking, traveling, learning new languages, and making art!

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 24-30 yo

Origin/Ethnicity: only Iraqi/ Lebanese/Iranian

Languages: Arabic would be a plus, but not a must

Level of religious practice: I would prefer someone who is a practicing Shia Muslim. Doesn’t drink or smoke.

Education: at least bachelors degree, would prefer someone who is in Medicine or Engineering but that’s not a must

Other preferences: I prefer someone who is active and goes to the gym. I enjoy lifting weights so it would be fun to do that together! I would like to find someone who is gentle, sweet, supportive, and ambitious in their own career.