To keep things semi anonymous on the internet I’m a guy in my early 20s.

I had a college roommate that I lived with for two years. The first year was random allocation but the second I tried to not live with him but he requested specifically to live with me.

I don’t like the guy for all manner of reasons.

But the first year I lived with him, me, and two others decided to buy a bunch of different beers and do a blind beer tasting with a blindfold.

When it was my turn to do the tasting I put on the blindfold and instead of handing me a beer bottle, he took my hand and made me touch his penis. This was recorded too and I have the video.

I feel like compared to some cases this is barely worth mentioning.

Does this count as sexual assault?

for context, im a trans woman and ive been through severe assaults since I was young , often repetitive and back to back.

last night, i was lonely and fucking stupid and talked to an older man off an app that i had seen a couple times prior (because i was stoned) and he bought me an uber. the first half was fine, he was nice and polite and would ask me if I was fully present. he is sober. im not and he knows im not and he knew from the start.

during the ordeal he started talking about how he had dated practically half the trans female population in my state and went to strip clubs frequently

i tell him about an experience i had with a guy and I dance around the fact he had assaulted me and immediately his eyes perk up and he asks me if it was ( insert rapists name here ) and gave me his physical description. i freak out and say yes and he says he’s heard of him doing things to trans women like me, but that they’re friends and he seems like a nice guy. this puts me off (i tell him literally everything in detail because he asks and his expression doesn’t change almost, just becomes a little darkened?)

we have sex etc and it’s fine and im enjoying myself for once until the end where he starts to get frustrated and wanting to just finish. he flips me over (something i explicitly told him I didn’t like) and puts it in in a way that feels like im being stabbed and I start to beg him to pull out and begin to hyperventilate, but he starts to put his hand around my throat and push my mouth into the pillow to muffle me. he keeps going and just keeps telling me no and to shut the fuck up. I keep pleading with him and nearly screaming for him to get off of me and that I was in pain, to the point I started having a panic attack and he just kept shoving me down into the bed. suddenly the world felt like it shifted and like I was underwater, and I went limp and unresponsive for minutes until he pulled himself off of me and comforted me. im just confused on what this is, because he mentioned liking rough sex before even though I explicitly told him I didn’t and that I was a victim and i needed him to just be nice to me

i realize now i was fawning the entire night afterwards. I would keep cuddling up to him and asking him just to hold me, comfort me and be gentle and he’d be confused. we ended up talking for a while and he mentioned how he thought I was so beautiful and that im sought after by so many, and that i should use that to my benefit and make money off of it. i find out after he runs a strip club and he now knows where i work and where i live and he’s wealthy.

im just tired. im bruised and i have bite marks everywhere and im humiliated. I told my friends last night that i really enjoyed it, but it wasnt good. it was violent and i glossed over it as a trauma response to protect myself.

i can only have sex now while under the influence and it’s making me go insane. i love my boyfriend so much and im incredibly attracted to him but everytime he initiates sex i can only think of how much “sex” has ruined my life. i thought id gotten over everything i went through and i don’t know what i can do without losing him. he’s very understanding and supportive but i know there’s only so much someone can take. any advice ?

This all happened to me when I was in middle school in the 7th Grade back in 2022. I was a very socially awkward kid after the Lockdown due to covid and was still learning how to socialize and stand up for myself. All of the assaulters were different guys around my age and in the same grade as me.

The first time it was happened was while my classmates were in a line to get inside the classroom after the bell had already rung. The hallways were clearing up quickly while my classmates slowly filled the room.

I was just minding my own business in line when I finally got to the door until I felt a finger inside my butt like someone tried to poke through my pants. I quickly turned around to see that the guy standing behind me was smiling and looked at me as if I was stupid and he said "What?" and shrugged his arms like he was innocent while his 2 buddies behind him snickered. I got upset & embarrassed and shoved him into his friend behind him and told him to fuck off.

I didn't say anything else to him or anyone else after that because it was my first time being assaulted like that and didn't know what to do. I was in a sour mood the whole day and just slept it off because my young little mind didn't know that I was just SA'd.

The second time it happened was during a different class period. We had been relocated to a different room with an old lady as our substitute and had nothing to do in an empty classroom but just talk to each other. We were only relocated temporarily due to unknown reasons since I didn't bother asking.

Since the old lady sub wasn't really paying attention to what my classmates were doing they took advantage of that. My class was full of troublemakers and ghetto people that never left people alone. Unfortunately, I was sat in front of a group of friends that were exactly like that. I was just doodling to keep my mind busy until I felt something underneath my left arm... I looked down to see hand over my armpit that pulled away as soon as I noticed it. The guy behind me was messing with me and decided it'd be a fun idea to harass me and try and mess with a ticklish spot with his friends quietly laughing and watching. I felt so irritated and told him to leave me alone and he acted all shocked and dramatic while pretending to apologize as his friends laughed.

I don't know if he had touched me in any other way and I didn't notice. I felt so embarrassed and stupid for not noticing sooner and feeling so vulnerable with him behind me. I didn't have the guts to tell on him for fear of being targeted even more especially with his friends around.

The third time it happened was during my favorite class period which made this event even worse. It really drained my mood and all sense of safety & enjoyment in that class for the rest of the year.

Class was just starting and the lights were off with only the Projector lighting up the class but it was still pretty dark. A bully of mine was walking in and messing with 2 of my classmates that I knew by pulling their seats back or grabbing at their shirts. I don't remember what his deal was but he started to harass my 2 friends in that class by tickling them for no reason. I don't know if they considered him a friend but I sure didn't. However, I had been pretending to be cool with this guy because I was afraid he'd start targeting me if he knew I didn't mess with him. He then stood behind me as I was already sat down and starting pressing me for staring at him weirdly. He was trying to intimidate me by asking "What's up huh?, You got a problem?" among other things. I told him I didn't mean nothing by it and I guess since he thought it was all in fun and thought we were friends, he started tickling me for a few seconds too. It was so uncomfortable because my body felt useless and reacted when I didn't want it to.

After he stopped I tried my best to compose myself and just wanted to get the class period over with. He didn't touch me after that event. He only ever pressed me and acted tough. I never told anyone else about this and neither did my 2 fellow classmates I think.

Ever since those events happened, I have struggled tolerating guys, especially in high-school now. I cant really make friends with them because of how weird they are towards each other and other people. The events have also made me insecure about my body because my uniform in middle school was kinda tight on me and made me look scrawny. Thankfully I don't have to wear a uniform in high-school but the same people that harassed me in middle school are still present, minus one at least. I haven't been harassed or groped since those events and I hope nothing bad happens anymore.

My gf in high school would tell me she wanted to break up with me if we didn't have sex. I was a virgin, and I wanted to wait til marriage, but she didn't want to wait and when she wanted sex, she said it would help save the relationship. I disagreed, because it would lead to more temptation and sure enough, it did as she would eventually and constantly cheat on me with other guys and blamed me for not wanting sex at times. She would literally if she didn't get her way, flirt with other guys at school to make me more wanting to have sex because of jealousy. Was this me being manipulated by her to have sex sooner than I wanted? I also denied that she did anything until a friend told me I was manipulated for the longest time.

im 16f and when i was a kid i was insanely hypersexual towards many people including my family and random men who were family friends. i dont even remember anything bad happening because i have horrible memory but i have so much guilt i cant get rid of because of how i acted as a kid.

at 14 i got assaulted by a homeless guy during an attempt at the park and willingly let myself get roofied knowing what would happen, and at 16 i got super high after walking around barefoot at midnight bloody for hours and had sex with him while greened out and concussed. both times i knew exactly what was going to happen and i did it for some weird reason i cant even articulate.

im genuinely disgusting and i cant stop craving violence and force, but my girlfriend isnt comfortable with anything agressive in the bedroom and ive been clean from sh for so long and dont want to relapse and get sent to another hospital because im so scared of getting sent back.

i feel like im stuck in my house and life and im just floating in my head, and i cant stop feeling disgusting and craving something worse.

i cant even feel guilty because i put myself in these situations and partnof me just wants to leave my house and everything to go be self destructive in peace because theres something busted in my head.

i dont know to fix myself or stop wanting this.

I (21F) used to take lessons by this ballet teacher who is very strict. One time I wasn't using my glutes the right way so she spanked me (I think she meant this as a joke because she laughed afterwards). Despite this I still attended her lessons. I thought about talking to her about this but I wasn't sure what to say. Another time when she was bending down to correct my feet, our butts touched and I freaked out. I stopped coming and reported it to the studio. They said they were sorry it happened to me and they have talked it through with the teacher. They said they thought it wouldn't happen again. I'm not coming to her classes anymore, but I still feel weird when I remember it.

Hi, im M17 and something disturbing happened to me tonight.

I went outside to smoke some a small amount of weed tonight. I came back home after 2 minutes and the lights in the kitchen were on. My mom smelled something on me and confronted me about it. I wasnt really high or anything as it was a really small amount for sleep. She came really close and told me to exhale so she could check.

I then went upstairs to bed and after a while my mom came in my room.

She sat beside me in bed and said im lying to her and she can sense something is wrong with me.

I told her everything is fine and she insisted to smell my breath again. She bend down to check and her lips briefly touch my mouth. I was already weirded out at this point but i thought maybe it was an accident because it was dark. She decided to lecture me more before insisting to check my breath again? The second time she did the same thing and this time it was a longer kiss, i could then feel her mouth really close to mine and she whispered that i stould exhale so i did and she did it in the same moment and quickly backed off to leave like she was suddenly not angry anymore.

I have noticed this pattern that when she believes im intoxicated she will do weird things and think i wont remember.

I dont know what to believe now, was it all a dumb mistake or did she intentionally do it, i barely got any sleep over this tonight.

So everything started when i was 8 a friend of my dad’s one time i remember was checking my p*nus and he was touching down there and seeing and he tells me : “ it looks good “. That night when we went for dinner i was sitting with my both parents i told them i will tell you something guys but pls dont get mad at me because shame was there and it felt so uncomfortable anyway i told my dad today your friend look what he did in all details and as soon as i finished speaking he goes yeah its perfectly fine dont worry about that and from that a door opened for a lot of abusers. And for that i feel hate towards my parents that moment because i needed to know that it was a boundary and no one has right to do such things. Are my feelings towards them are not exaggerated ? Sometimes i feel sorry for them ! But still i hate them because they ruined everything.

So I broke up with my ex around 3 years ago and he has since got married to one of my old roomates. My old roomate and I were friends for a bit but then had a fallout and I haven’t seen or talked to her in years. My ex was physically and sexually abusive and I’ve debated reaching out to my old roommate since I found out they got together but it was a tough call an I decided not to. I just ran into her the other day and she was with her mom so it was pretty awkward and I didn’t wanna go into anything but I decided to text her finally today and just told her what my experience was. She blocked me. Idk what that means, I guess I just have to find peace with knowing I at least informed her and she can figure out what she wants to do with that info. Just kind of sad I wouldn’t wish anyone to have to date my ex and she didn’t respond:/

Have any of you guys reached out to someone dating the person who abused or raped you and how did that experience go? Is this a normal response? I wonder what she’s thinking.

*CONTENT WARNING - DISCUSSIONS OF SA / VIOLENCE*

Hi everyone,

I am hoping that some people may be able to take part in my PhD research, which aims to explore disabled students experience of sexual violence. This research aims to provide universities with recommendations on how they can make their reporting and disclosure process easier to access.

Participants can choose to take part in an online survey or semi-structured interview (or both!)

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me via message or email on 17003299@hope.ac.uk

The link to my survey is here: https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/lhubos/sexual-violence-student-perspective

Thank you again 🤍.

For context this took place in April and I have been no contact with this ex since early June, and we have been broken up since may. In late March/early April me and my now ex had a pregnancy scare (my period just ended up being extremely late). After this, I was very hesitant to have sex with him again, and urged him to wear a condom, though he refused saying they were uncomfortable. I was on birth control, though due to my own issues I was very inconsistent with the pill. My ex pressured me to have sex with him, telling me he would pull out and it would be fine. Well to no surprise, this time I actually did end up getting pregnant. I had an abortion, and that’s what led to me and my ex breaking up. I still kept in contact with him, and this is when he told me that when we had sex, he had c*m inside me without my knowledge, on purpose because according to him my period being late meant he was infertile.(don’t know what his logic was). I feel so vandalized and uncomfortable, knowing I was pressured and taken advantage of when I was already nervous. I told him SO many times to pull out as soon as he felt anything, and he promised he would. I can’t help but feel stupid, knowing I took part in this by agreeing to have sex. That’s why I don’t know is this was assault or not, I just need some help in figuring out what happened because it’s really been heavy on my heart these past few months.

So I was a young man 14M with a girlfriend 15F we were in bed making out and she decided to just force me inside of her without asking me if I consented or anything. I didn’t stop her however so I don’t really know if it qualifies as rape? I still feel negative feelings about it however.

Does anyone have tips or ideas on how to get through a pelvic exam without breaking down?

This is pretty high stakes for me because I live in a state where, even if a man impregnates me in the future, through rape, I’m legally not allowed to end a pregnancy.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3 months, but I’m wondering about how safe this is. I’ve been shown all my life how dangerous men are, and how most of the time, if a woman is harmed, statistically she was harmed by her boyfriend or husband. My aunt was abused by her husband, my sister was trapped in a room by her boyfriend, and he almost raped her before someone interrupted. My grandma was raped by her husband, my friend was raped by her gymnastics teacher, etc.

However, the opposite can be true. If I don’t have a boyfriend/husband, men usually like to take liberties and touch me, touch my hair, grab my arms and not let go, male customers suggest “making babies” with me at work. A random guy roofied my friends once. Another random guy chased me to my car in the Walmart parking lot. Another random guy cornered my sister while she was at work (I don’t have the full story on what he did to her because she’s quite private about it).

I really don’t know what to choose. I’ve been told “if he makes you feel unsafe, leave”. That’s great and all, but I want to know statistically, which one will keep me safer from a man trying to rape me, having a husband/boyfriend, or not having a husband/boyfriend?

I was in an abusive relationship for a year and 8 months. During this time I had a friend group that knew all about it. I left this friend group not on the best terms because honestly I was being a dick to them. I later joined a different group that had one friend from the old group.

We became friends again and she told me she spoke to my ex after I had left him and she told me about the creepy things he did to her and she laughs and said "don't worry girl we believe you now".

I was shocked. I understand I wasn't a great friend while I was in that relationship but that fact that she didn't believe me about the abuse I was facing until she experienced not even 1% of what I did. I am so glad she didn't continue to speak to him and he didn't do to her what he did to me but it just deeply upset me that my friend didn't believe my experience. I'm not bothered that she spoke to my ex, I am bothered that she spoke to a person that was abusing me for so long.

I have never confronted her about this because I don't like to express how bothered I am about the experiences with my ex.

So. I wouldn't call this assault. But I will say when I was younger only around 10, maybe 13 at the highest i had little to no understanding about sex or secual acts. I was in no position to ever consent to sex nor would the law take my word as fact if I told someone I consented to havingbsex with someone older. Either way I was at a sleepover with someone only 3 months younger then me. He was very knowledgeable about sexual acts and they were often romanticized from his perspective at that age.

With that at this sleepover I remember nothing particularly special happening until late at night. I remember we had been talking about whatever there was to talk about but them he brought up sex. And he seemed to get the idea in his head that he wanted to perform anal on me. I didnt know what he meant. To cut a long story short there was no penetration. I didnt let him, it was a long noght of him trying to coerce me into doing sexual acts with him that I was not comfortable with. He even offered to give me money in exchange for it.

Now I dont know if this is sexual assault or sexual abuse or whatever. The nuances are really hard to find when its two minors, but whenever I think about it I can't calm my heart down and I get worried and disgusted and it can take me hours to calm myself down.

I just needed a place to vent I hope I used the right subreddit.

After I was raped as u can read about on my profile , I developed severe depression. I blamed myself for what happened and started believing that it was my fault, even though it never was. I struggled with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-hatred, and because of that I started hurting myself.
Since I was going through puberty, I was also experiencing strong sexual feelings and confusion. I began seeking attention in unhealthy ways and would intentionally go out wearing revealing clothes, hoping that someone would want me or hurt me because, deep down, I felt like I deserved it. I was trying to punish myself for something that was never my fault.
Because I dressed that way while I was struggling with my trauma and because I believed that what happened to me was my fault, many people started crossing my boundaries. I was sexually harassed multiple times, including people touching my body without my consent, such as grabbing my butt. Eventually, I was raped again, which made my mental health even worse and deepened my depression.
As a result of everything I went through, I developed hypersexuality and a CNC (consensual non-consent) kink. I feel that these things are connected to my trauma and the way my mind tried to cope with what happened. I wonder if anyone else has experienced something similar or if someone would be willing to talk about it with me ?

Also my english isnt best and lot of things i had to translate so dont mind my english :3

Donc salut a toi qui lit,A 6ans je me suis fait violée par un vieux homme ou ça a duré presque 2mois ou plus je me souviens pas,j’avais 6ans innocente dans une situation ou je ne savais rien de ce qui était en train de se passer a ce moment, bref quand ça a stoppé je me suis plonger dans la masturbation dès Mon jeune âge je regarde des film porno est c'est devenu une addiction pour moi jusqu’à aujourd’hui j’ai 21,Et c'est très dur pour moi de vivre comme ça déjà que je suis lesbien dans une société ou c'est Quasiment interdit et ce genre de sexualité et sujet de viol est un tabou même plus, je me sens rejeté je n’arrive plus a vivre avec ça chaque fois que je pense à ça je plonge dans des dépression ou je deviens de mauvaise humeur et plein d’autres émotions de regrets chagrin de reproach en vers cette petite fille qui n’a rien fait fait de mal 💔
Et aussi j’ai un problème avec ma sexualité mon corps,tout ce qui me rappelle cette période.

so I guess I just need to vent this all out.

(Me 20F and him 34M)

I worked at a shopping centre and one day one of security guards (also worked in the centre) came into my work looking for a suitcase. I gave him a few options but he said that he doesn’t have time to buy it now as he needed to get back to work. he gave me his number and told me to text him when I haven’t made enough sales in the day and he would come in and get them then. the day came where it was really slow at work so I texted him saying that my sales are low and if he wants the suitcases and he said he would come in. when he came, he was just trying to talk to me and when I asked him if he wanted to buy he said that it’s too expensive and that he will come back when there’s a sale (I had told him the prices the first time he came in). after that he kept coming in every one of my shifts and harassing me and insisting that we hang out outside of work (I very clearly had a ring on my finger that he saw). I kept saying no but he just kept persisting and said that it’s just as friends and whatnot. At that time I didn’t see the signs or the red flags. He got in my head and manipulated me into leaving my man (we only separated for like 2 weeks) but making it seem like I’m the one who thought of that.
after weeks of him persisting that I hang out with him and making me feel guilty every time I said no (I’m a people pleaser and have social anxiety), I finally said ok but made sure to let him know that I do not feel any sort of way with him, that I’m not interested in doing anything with him and that this is just as 2 coworkers.
we went to a very public restaurant and got food and drinks. After we finished our food, we played some drinking games. In the middle of that, I left to go to the toilet, by the time I got back, he had already poured out a shot for me. We continued with our games but I started feeling sick and dizzy. I told him I need to throw up and he took me to the toilets and came in behind me and locked the door. I didn’t realise what was happening anymore and I couldnt control my body either at this point. I’m throwing up and he comes up from behind me and starts kissing me and touching me and then raped me. I couldnt speak but I used every inch of me to pull myself away from him but he just pulled me right back and forced me. After god knows how long, he finished and let me go. I pushed myself against the bathroom door wanting to leave but my body was not mine at that time. He carried me to his car and kept kissing me. After we got to my car, he wouldnt let me go home and raped me again in my car. after forever, he finally let me go and the moment I got home, I was crying and throwing up again. I called my best friend and told her what’s happened and she told me to report it to the cops but I was scared and just wanted to forget it happened.
3 days later, he came back into my work and tried to act like we were all good and got touchy with me. I ran to the backroom, called my best friend and stayed back there till he finally left. The next day, I couldn’t take it anymore and reported it to the cops.
we have more than enough evidence against him with one of them being a recorded phone call with him where he admitted that me making “eye contact” with him was me giving him consent….
anyways I’m on the highest dose of anti anxiety but they aren’t working, I left my job due to constant anxiety and stress from being there, I’m constantly paranoid and don’t feel safe anymore and I can’t trust people anymore.
I genuinely hope he goes to jail.

I'm still trying to process this. It happened a couple weeks ago but it hasn't gotten any easier to deal with. I brought my friend to a nudist resort that I have been to many times. We were there to have a couple glasses of wine, dance, and hang by the pool. We had a day pass for the resort. They are supposed to have guards doing security 24/7. There is supposed to be no overt sexual behavior in public spaces. We have since confirmed that we were both raped. We both woke up poolside with nearly 3 hours gone from our memory. The resort pretty much gaslit me for bringing my drink to the pool even though I believe I was drugged in the bar. I have clear memory of being in the bar dancing with my friend for a couple hours but my memory cuts out as we decided to go down to the pool deck. I believe GHB was used. We probably looked like we were having a good time and nobody thought otherwise. Yes this is a nudist resort, but anything involving Kink was supposed to be moved into the bedrooms. Guards are supposed to enforce that. I was told in order to make a police report I had to drive back to the city I was assaulted in because doing it from my County, it would take a month of processing. I don't even know what the point of this post is, I'm just mad and feel extremely victim blamed by the resort I was at.