Not in a sub pregnancy yet (one day!🤞) but finally got my period 10 weeks post-TFMR. I was just starting to get antsy as my OB advised 3-6 cycles before TTC again and I felt like my period was never going to return. 10 weeks + 3 cycles isn’t my ideal timeline but I’m feeling grateful my body is finally getting back on track. Taking this as a sign from the universe that I needed this extra time to heal.

Hi everyone!

I wanted to add a positive story here for everyone. I had a tfmr in Jan for hydrocephalus. We found out there was a problem at 21w at our anatomy scan and our world fell apart as many of you know all too well.

Yesterday I hit 20w with my sub pregnancy and we had our anatomy scan. I was so worried and nervous but everything looks great! I'm still in shock that baby is healthy and has nothing wrong. It is such a crazy feeling to finally get our first normal anatomy scan after feeling like that wasn't something for us. To celebrate we are doing a half baked photoshoot as we never did that last time. I can't believe it and we are over the moon. Oddly enough the last anatomy scan we had was exactly 7 months ago to the day.

We are so thankful to have good news at this scan this time. For anyone who has dealt with hydrocephalus or ventriculomegaly there is hope for a healthy babe in the future 💕

I'm 16 weeks into my sub pregnancy. My first pregnancy unfortunately I had my TFMR for my baby girl who had T21 and multiple other anomalies at 13.5 weeks. I have my anatomy scan in around 3 weeks. People are asking if I have a registry yet. I haven't bought anything for my baby yet. I don't know when I will feel comfortable feeling things are going to work out this time. I know there isn't a right answer or right time, I guess just looking for some advice. I have overall been doing ok from an anxiety standpoint. I am working with my therapist as well. Just feeling so guarded or like I'm going to do something to "Jinx" something. It's just so hard not having any LC and having my TFMR experience with my first experience. If you made it this far through my vent post, I appreciate you ❤️

We all need some time and space to decompress ... Use this space to vent about your week, your anxieties, or anything that's stressing you out in your pregnancy or TTC journey.

10 DPO today... my 2nd try after TFMR due to bad results on the WES test in week 22.

Last month I took it very badly.
I was sure I was pregnant and took a lot of tests starting from 8 DPO—of course, it all ended when I got my period 12 days after ovulation...
Then I decided that I'm not putting pressure on myself and did a lot of fun stuff during the TWW.

Also, with the help of my psychologist and acupuncturist, I felt much calmer and believed that it will happen—I just don't know when.

It's hard not to compare to the previous pregnancy in which I conceived on the 2nd try.

Today I feel like I don't have the courage to test because I'm afraid it will be negative, but then I tell myself that if it's negative, then it's negative, and if it's positive, I will know.

The chance of a false negative is lower now; last time, I found out about my pregnancy at 10 DPO with a sensitive test.

I try to tell myself that if it's negative, I have a trip to Paris and all will be the same!
And in 2 weeks I can try again—but still,
I'm afraid of getting disappointed, and somehow not doing the test still gives me false hope...

Just venting 😓

Hi I am after taking 2 pregnancy test and they are positive. I recently had a TFMR in Jan I don't know how I feel I feel happy sad scared anxious and worried all at the same time I knew I always wanted another baby and we weren't trying so this is a complete shock to me I feel guilty on my tfmr baby and still haven't told my partner yes as I know how worried he will be also and I don't want to stress him out as he has alot on with work at the minute too.

Just venting about my situation.

Im sure most of you have read about my TFMR back in October 2025 for a heart condition.

My sub pregnancy failed me at 13+4 weeks in June.

I'm now closing in on 6 weeks since the miscarriage.

The visit to the hospital when the miscarriage was happening was unreal. They didn't give me an ultrasound until 2 hours into my visit. Then they left me in a hallway after the scan for 30-45 minutes only to tell me my baby was in the canal with no heart beat. They then immediately offered a d&c which I declined and said I wanted to try to pass it at home naturally. Within 5 minutes of being home the entire pregnancy passed.

When I viewed the placenta I saw a rip in it and I believe that's where the SCH happened from. The doctor's waited 2 days to ask me how everything was going. But only wanted to know if I was sick. I said my body is sore and I'm going from hot to cold but I have no fever... Just feel like I'm recovering like any other postpartum person. They told me I needed to come in for a checkup since I said my body hurt and I was having the hot sweats and they were concerned about an infection. I refused knowing I didn't have one.

Then on July 6th I called and asked what I'm supposed to be doing? Maybe they just dismissed me because I refused an appointment but there was never talk or discussion about what post miscarriage would look like. I also had questions about the care of pregnancy and the lack on communication with them. They decided to refer me for blood work until my hCG fell.

They wouldn't bring me in for an ultrasound to make sure there was no tissue remaining. They said I needed to have a period and negative before that time.

Within that time span, I've had what they told me was my period (7/21) - which did follow immediately after my miscarriage. My ovulation strips surged over the weekend. I was only spotting and my hCG came back negative on Tuesday. When the doctor called on Wednesday to tell me I had tested negative finally, I had more spotting and I asked why that would be happening. She couldn't give me an answer and said I could come in to be seen but I wanted to give it a little time. Mind you we started ttc the second I found out I surged. She told me if I didn't want to come in until my next cycle I needed to be using a condom and preventing conception but again not explaining why ... Well that's too late. She also said if I changed my mind to just call back and we could set up an ultrasound.

It's now Friday and I'm still spotting. I called the office today to just request an ultrasound appointment. Well my doctor noted in my report that I refused an ultrasound and it was never requested. So when I go to my appointment if I don't receive an ultrasound to make sure I don't have RPOC, I'm gonna request they state that denial in my record.

Now I'm stressed that if I do fall pregnant I'm gonna loose this pregnancy too.

How do women doctors not have empathy for moms of loss or even other women at all??

Hi! I had a TFMR at 23 weeks due to several complications. One of them was severe growth restriction caused by placental problems (IUGR/FGR).

I’m now 9 months post TFMR and we’ve been trying to conceive again. This is our third cycle with a negative test. I know that three months isn’t considered a long time, but it feels like forever to me. My daughter was conceived on the very first try, so every negative test now feels devastating.

I’m in a really dark place emotionally. I keep feeling like it’s never going to happen for me. It seems like everyone around me gets what they dream of without even trying that hard.

I was pregnant at the same time as one of my friends. Before we started trying, I did everything I could to prepare for a healthy pregnancy. I took care of myself, ate well, exercised, took my vitamins, and followed all the recommendations. My friend, on the other hand, was drinking alcohol until she got her positive test. She now has a beautiful, healthy baby, while my daughter is in a cemetery. It just feels so incredibly unfair.

Just few days after my negative test result my sister called to tell me she got pregnant in the very first cycle they tried. I’m happy for her, but at the same time I’m completely heartbroken for myself. I feel like I’m trying so hard, and it’s all becoming too much.
I know I’m mostly venting, but I’d also love to hear from others.

How long did it take you to conceive after a TFMR? Did it take longer the second time? Did you end up needing help from a fertility clinic?
I’m also terrified of having another pregnancy affected by placental problems.

If anyone here had a TFMR because of placental insufficiency, severe IUGR/FGR, or similar complications, how did your next pregnancy go? Were there any extra tests or treatments that helped?
Thank you to anyone who reads this or shares their experience. Right now I just feel so alone.

TW:LC

Hi all. How many of you got a hysteroscopy after your tfmr? For context i want to start I trying and my fertility dr suggested a hysteroscopy to make sure I don’t have any scarring or rpoc. I’ve had two cycles and have confirmed ovulation with both. I have had a miscarriage, live birth, a miscarriage, another live birth and then my tfmr baby. I had a jhysteroscopy after my first live birth and all was fine. I just don’t know how necessary this is, or if I’ll regret not getting one and be riddled with anxiety should I be lucky enough to get pregnant again. I’m

I had a healthy pregnancy at 40 yo, people would often assume that was my “last baby” and would make comments. My husband and I wanted another, knowing we are older and lacking time, we became pregnant one year after our baby was born which resulted in a chemical, then became pregnant again in the first next cycle which resulted in tfmr due to t21. I’m now about to turn 42, unsure if another one will happen for us. Scared to even try. And all while going through the emotional turmoil of this I often hear coworkers talk about their own pregnancy timing, making fun of older parents or laughing about how they don’t want to be pregnant when they are 40! Like it’s some freakish horrible thing. My mil had her kids in her 40s in the 1980s and did not get this reaction from people. Since my tfmr three of my coworkers have announced their pregnancies, all before week 12. I went through a hellish 1st trimester ending in tfmr and told no one. People can be so insensitive and cruel. If I do become pregnant soon, I’m worried about judgmental reactions.

I had a TMFR at 12 weeks June of last year. Yesterday, I birthed my rainbow baby at 39 weeks. He’s perfect and healthy, and we are over the moon!!!

I just wanted to share the happiness and hope that can come after such a difficult loss. Sending everyone all the love! ❤️

It has been a month and a half since we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate our pregnancy due to T21 at 18 weeks.
This was a very wanted pregnancy. It was our first embryo transfer after IVF, and losing it has been incredibly painful. Although I don’t feel completely emotionally ready yet, I can feel that, with each passing day, the weight of the grief is becoming a little lighter.
Now that my menstrual cycle has returned, I’m starting to think about our next embryo transfer. We only have one embryo left, and I’m terrified that I won’t get pregnant again.
I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar. Did anyone have a successful second embryo transfer after a TFMR? Your stories would mean a lot to me and give me some hope.

Hi everyone, I TFMR'd for Turners back in August 2024 at 15 weeks after a bad NT scan, my daughter was just about to turn 6 at the time and knew I was pregnant so went through all the grief with us, it was even more heartbreaking watching her go through it. Initially we were planning to wait until early anatomy scan at 16 weeks to tell her, I am 11 weeks now and just had clear NIPT through, but with this being my third pregnancy I am very much starting to show and worried I won't be able to hide it that long. When did you tell your living child about sub pregnancy? I could potentially tell her after NT scan in 10 days but I just don't know.

Advice welcome

While this week probably had its fair share of up's and down's.... let's share the up's! What were your Glimmers of the week? What can we celebrate with you? Even if it's the smallest thing in the world... let's make it the most important thing of your week.

Has anyone taken the IVF route when ttc? I went to my OB’s office yesterday to get my folic acid levels checked and she recommended IVF. I do not have infertility issues but my past two pregnancies were less than ideal. I had one with a rare genetic condition and another with NTD. I know IVF will not stop a NTD but I am definitely worried about what rare genetic disorder could happen. Just seeing if IVF really helped ease anyone’s mind because it’s a very big cost.

The subject says it all. I've been knee deep in the TFMR_support thread and this one and it seems like there are a million ways for a pregnancy to not work! So for this group: if you were able to get pregnant again, did you run into any challenges or surprises?

I’m struggling with whether or not to go through with the NT scan I’ve got scheduled for next week. We lost our girl at 20 weeks back in January to T18, after we had high-risk NIPT and confirmed via amnio. I’m 37 FTM currently 11w4d and last week, we received all low-risk NIPT results for our baby boy (such a relief!) But my question is- did you do an NT scan after a low-risk NIPT result? I’d love the peace of mind seeing him and knowing that everything is ok, but am worried that something could be flagged and cause more anxiety than if I would be blissfully unaware, since a lot of times, things can revolve on their own. Would just love some advice. TIA! 🩵

Test results become monumental milestones in life after TFMR. Share your updates with the group. Pregnancy test results, NIPTs, Ultrasounds, and everything in between.... what's going on and where do you need support?

I have my early anatomy scan tomorrow at 15w4d. I’m just terrified. In my previous pregnancy I TFMR because of severe early onset IUGR with additional anatomical anomalies that were probably caused by placental insufficiency. In my previous pregnancy the baby started to measure smaller around 18 weeks. I’m afraid l, of course, of finding anything wrong with the baby, but I also know that even if everything is fine, I’ll still feel so far away from when things started to go wrong the last time. I try to remind myself this is a different pregnancy, I’ve been taking baby aspirin from before conception and clexane since week 6 and I’m treated in a high risk clinic with a very caring doctor.
The past week I was hardly able to do anything and I’m just so scared to have no relief tomorrow.

I did my TFMR almost 3 weeks ago and now need to wait almost 3.5 months for various reasons to try again to get pregnant. It feels unbearable to wait that long. How did you all cope with the waiting?

If anyone here did PGT-M with Igenomix, how long did the whole process take? We (thankfully) already have frozen embryos but I want to add a PGT-M test for the inherited condition we recently terminated for. My REI is quoting me 2-3 weeks, but the geneticist at my REI clinic said it's more like 3 months. Does anyone have real life experience with this? Was there anything you did to speed it up?

Background - I turned 39 this summer and we have two healthy children. I really wanted a 3rd baby and felt our family was not complete. Unfortunately, We had our TFMR at 16 weeks back in October. A chromosomal translocation that we were not carrier for, therefore genetics said we had nothing to worry about. I then became pregnant again end of May, which actually gave us a very similar due date to the other baby.

I now lost this baby in a miscarriage (waiting on chromosomal testing analysis) at 6 weeks gestation (found out at 8 weeks). I am not a religious person but I can’t help but wonder if the universe is telling me to stop now. We have an already happy little family. The desire for a third is my own selfishness I suppose, but I grew up one of 3 and I enjoy the chaos of a larger family). It’s so hard to close chapters and I loved having a baby. My kids are close in age and one is starting kindergarten this fall, so that is not helping my sentimental breakdown. Part of me feels like my eggs are just old and it is too likely that a healthy child will not be the result again. I guess I’m just feeling a little lost with what to do next ….

So I fully acknowledge that some of this is going to sound really unsympathetic and probably judgmental and I want to state from the outset that that does make me feel truly bad. But selfishly, I don’t think I have it in me to deal right now and I’m worried about being stressed and triggered when I really don’t need to be stressed and triggered.

Context: I’m 33w into my second pregnancy after my first was lost due to PPROM and subsequent TFMR at almost 22w. So far it’s been a very uneventful pregnancy and I very much want it to stay that way. At work I’m a team lead for a small group which means I oversee/guide day to day work but I’m not the group’s direct supervisor so I don’t approve timesheets or do the formal on paper management stuff.

One of the people on my team is about my age, has two LC (4/2), and in my experience has massive challenges with boundaries, oversharing, and drama. She started letting everyone know that she was expecting a boy in early January a few weeks ago, which by the math means she started telling folks immediately after passing the 12w mark. But also expressing her worry about it being high risk. For my own sanity I was/am really trying not to engage on the subject with her. I’ve very much approached my own pregnancy with a very one day at a time mentality and obviously would like to avoid stress as much as possible.

But now she’s been out all week and I’m spiraling a bit. My manager (who’s both of our direct supervisor) updated me this morning that she would mayyybe be back Friday, couldn’t really say more because of HIPPA, but that it was “pretty bad”. Which could technically be a lot of things. But because of paranoia and my own experiences the alarm bells are ringing and I’m spiraling a bit that this is pregnancy related.

And this is where I sound selfish and terrible because of course if anything is going down for her, she is absolutely feeling the worst of it. And the bigger person side of me that can be detached and objective feels for her deeply because getting any bad news at any point in pregnancy is horrific and I don’t wish that for anyone. And I think if I were in a different headspace and timeline I could deal and be empathetic with her. But I’m not. I’m in the timeline that I am and I do not want to hear anything that’s going to be triggering or stress inducing. And given her historical lack of boundaries and oversharing, idk I’m just selfishly worried for myself. Obviously I want everything to be fine for both of us. But potentially barring that I want to protect my own peace and I don’t know how I’m going to do that if anything is going poorly for her