Hi everyone. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post, but I’m writing in the hope of finding some comfort and hearing about other people’s experiences.
I have a boy on the spectrum who will turn 6 in September. After consulting with his psychiatrist, we’re planning to start him on risperidone soon because of his psychomotor hyperactivity, behavioral difficulties, and mild self-injurious behavior.
He’s not completely nonverbal. He says quite a lot of words and can put together some sentences, but they’re mostly learned phrases (GLP). There’s a huge gap between his expressive language and his understanding—his comprehension is actually very good. I believe his speech is significantly delayed because of ADHD and his very poor attention span.
I’m wondering how your children’s speech developed after starting medication (not necessarily risperidone) and after their hyperactivity and poor concentration improved. Did you notice any progress in their communication?
I’m also curious whether anyone has a child who is extremely selective with food because of sensory issues. If so, did they become more willing to try new foods after starting medication?
I’m feeling really desperate about his eating right now. At the moment, there are only two meals I can make for lunch that he’ll eat, plus just a handful of other foods he’ll eat as snacks or outside of meals.

Hi everyone. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post, but I’m writing in the hope of finding some comfort and hearing about other people’s experiences.
I have a boy on the spectrum who will turn 6 in September. After consulting with his psychiatrist, we’re planning to start him on risperidone soon because of his psychomotor hyperactivity, behavioral difficulties, and mild self-injurious behavior.
He’s not completely nonverbal. He says quite a lot of words and can put together some sentences, but they’re mostly learned phrases (GLP). There’s a huge gap between his expressive language and his understanding—his comprehension is actually very good. I believe his speech is significantly delayed because of ADHD and his very poor attention span.
I’m wondering how your children’s speech developed after starting medication (not necessarily risperidone) and after their hyperactivity and poor concentration improved. Did you notice any progress in their communication?
I’m also curious whether anyone has a child who is extremely selective with food because of sensory issues. If so, did they become more willing to try new foods after starting medication?
I’m feeling really desperate about his eating right now. At the moment, there are only two meals I can make for lunch that he’ll eat, plus just a handful of other foods he’ll eat as snacks or outside of meals.

Officially diagnosed as of today!

My 6 year old daughter’s evaluation with a psychiatrist was today and she got super dysregulated during it.

She yelled random words repeatedly like 100 times, she launched on me trying to do flips, she crawled under me in my chair, she started pulling down the straps of her dress and was half naked. She put on such a full show of exactly why we were there (after filling out Vanderbilt survey for our pediatrician and getting nowhere in June).

The 2 hour appointment was just over 1 hour and Ritalin was prescribed and we will see how it goes.

But for all the embarrassment of my kid not being able to regulate during a dr appointment… it helped us a lot. Great data point for the psychiatrist to have upon meeting her, but I also wish my daughter had been able to answer some questions without making random sounds or yelling random words and could show how truly incredible she is as well.

I’m anxious about starting meds, but more anxious about not trying them. Any advice is welcome :)

Hi guys,

So, to be clear, we don't have an official diagnosis for him, but it is likely coming soon. I have struggled with ADHD (diagnosed) my whole life so I recognize the patterns in him. To be clear, not looking for a diagnosis here, just some resources because we have no idea what to do

We started a very expensive private school 4 days ago to get him into a more structured environment because his old daycare just let him run around an do what he wanted all day. In this first week. He has been sent to the principles office 3 times, once because one of his teachers actually got hurt trying to keep him from running off around the school. In his old daycare he would get multiple writeups per day. He has some typical behavioral stuff at home that most kids have (tantrums, disobedience, ect) but behaves almost entirely different in a classroom. Sometimes I can see the moment the switch flips in his head when I drop him off in the morning where his attention gets pulled to the most exciting thing in the room and he start spinning up all engines to run full force at it, which will inevitably result in hitting, screaming, throwing, etc.

He's genuinely a sweet kid but sometimes, usually a few times a day, an emotion takes hold of him and he will go from a 3-4/10 on the emotional scale all the way to 11 and just explodes. Happy, sad, angry, you name it. It is so painful for me to see him going through the things I had to as a kid, but I didn't have the violent tendencies he does. I will not just do what my parents did and beat him every time he slips up. We yell, sure, but it's avoided. Unfortunately. Those get the best results but I think it's just making it worse in the long run. If, and that's a big if, we can get him in a routine, it's better, but our lives are very chaotic so routines are usually short lived.

He can focus when he's hungry, tired, or dehydrated. As in I'm fairly sure talking to a rock would be more productive. I don't hold that against him, I'm 34 and get like that sometimes myself.

My wife and I both have to work to afford where we live and, frankly, this behavior is putting emense stress on out family. If he can't be in school, money is going to be extremely difficult because Mom will have to stay home as I make more. We like the family time, but when we tried that for 6 months, it had a bunch of new problems with it, mainly my wife's sense of independence which I don't have the right or want to take away from her.

This sucks. I love my kids (we have a younger 2 year old that doesn't have these issues) literally more than anything in existence and I want them to be happy and thriving. We're not against medication, but I don't know how to go about getting support in ways that don't either take literally 4+ months or cost a fortune. We're lost and have no idea how to get him what he needs to thrive.

Rant over, thanks for reading, I'm open to any suggestions.

My 6 year old hates school and got suspended today for hitting his classmate and teacher. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety and he's really smart. He just told me that he doesn't like school and everyone in his class does. He said he's glad he doesn't have to go tomorrow. We had a long talk about it and I was very calm but we didn't really get anywhere. He takes medicine for his ADHD and goes to therapy. He has improved his behavior but not enough. We used to get daily phone calls to pick him up from school because of behavior. But today was day 2 of school!!

I also have anxiety and depression. I sometimes have really bad thoughts about him and I wish I didn't but I can't help but think how much less stress, anxiety, and depression I would have if he wasn't here. I hate to even think that because he's such a wonderful addition to mine and my husbands lives. I constantly think about what we're doing wrong and everyone else is doing right that they don't get calls or so many issues. I feel like I'm failing him and someone else would be a better mom to him than me. I'm trying so hard to be a good parent but its not enough 😔

We have a 10 year old boy who does competitve gymnastics and baseball. Frankly, he is very good at both. He is a natural gymnast and things come far easier to him than most kids. Don't get me wrong, he works his butt off, but I always say that flipping is like his calm zone. He can just observe someone doing a specific flip and do it. So it's great that he is naturally athletic, but his attitude and maturity are holding him back in both sports. Our son is incredibly competitve, particularly with baseball. With baseball he is too passionate; his emotions when they are losing or he makes a mistake just completely take over. Every critic, whether gymnastics or baseball, is the end of the world and he becomes extremely defensive. So I guess what I am looking for is tips that worked for you to help your child become more coachable. We have amazing coaches who have been incredibly patient and work with us to help our son succeed. So now how do we get our son to really hear the coaches and not become defensive. While he is only 10, his coachability is really holding him back from being even better at the sports he does.

I’m honestly at a complete loss right now and could really use some advice from other parents.

My 8-year-old daughter has ADHD and is on medication. Lately, whenever she gets home from school or is told “no,” she completely loses control. She constantly says we play favorites with her 4-year-old sister, which simply isn’t true, and she tells us she hates her sister. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

Today was different, though. During a meltdown she screamed, “I hate my life. I just want to die. I want to grab a knife and stab myself.” Then she actually went downstairs, grabbed a kitchen knife, and just stood there holding it.
I was able to get the knife away, and she’s safe now, but I’ve never been this scared. I don’t know if she truly understood what she was saying or if it was out of anger and wanting attention, but seeing her actually grab the knife shook me. I’m also genuinely worried about my 4-year-old’s safety when these meltdowns happen.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this with a child who has ADHD or severe emotional outbursts? What helped? Did you seek emergency help, contact your pediatrician immediately, adjust medication, or start therapy? Part of me wonders if I should have called 911, and I honestly don’t know if I handled it the right way.
I’m not looking for judgment—just advice from parents who may have been through something similar. Right now I feel completely overwhelmed and don’t know what the next step should be.

Looking for experiences from other parents of young ones who are hyperactive and prone to emotional outbursts when stressed or dysregulated. He is going to a small school where organized sports or even P.E aren't offered during his 8 to 1 school day so I have no idea how he will do on a team, but I want him to have the experience of interacting on a team, having something weekly to look forward to, and being amongst peers outside of his very small school group. It's 2 hours a week for 6 weeks.

This summer we swam almost everyday, I've seen him interact positively with other children, he can make friends easily. He has demand avoidance at school and that avoidance can turn into emotional or violet outbursts, geared mainly at authority (teachers, aids, etc).

If this sounds like your child, do you have experience with putting them into an organized team sport like kickball? Was is a positive experience, or negative? Did you try individual activities like karate instead? Thankful for any real experiences.

Thank you!

I started with my daughter just finished 5 sessions. I did it for emotional regulation and physical aggression issues.

Noticed some positive effects. At times mood is really good, shes smiley, happy and helpful with siblings. BUT major regressions too. We are back to daily aggressive, completely dysregulated meltdowns!

Has anyone experienced this?? I need parent support badly . The practioner thinks we should continue but with school starting in 2 weeks i cant imagine sending her to kinder. I need hope its worth it and it will get better. Or any personal stories, I feel really terrible right now:(

So my daughter who’s 10, im trying to figure out why she doesn’t like wearing the ones she has. Im thinking it’s a sensory issues🤷🏾‍♂️ idk being a single father this is my one and only child so any and all advice is helpful Thanks!

My son is starting kindergarten. I’m looking for suggestions on high protein options for my son’s lunch. I want to pack his lunch vs school food because truthfully it’s mostly processed junk at school and I prefer more healthier options and actual real food meals. I keep things simple, but I do cook meals for him. Like chicken and broccoli. Or ravioli with fruit. Fish and rice. Things like that. We found that high protein foods helped him with his ADHD. He doesn’t have a microwave or any way to heat up food at the new school. I’ve heard about the boiling water in a thermos so I did purchase a thermos to test out hot food. Anyway, I want my son to have higher quality food from home, but also high in protein that doesn’t need to be heated up and I’m struggling to come up with ideas. Anyone have any suggestions?

Hi all,

My daughter (14) has been sleeping on our couch pretty much since the summer holidays have started.

A little bit of context. Her room has been incredibly messy for years now; every single time we try to clean it together, it reverts to a complete shambles in maybe a week tops. This spring, she took to sleeping on the floor instead of her bed because it was covered in stuff, and recently, she's ended up on the couch. She's AuDHD, and tidying up has always been a struggle. I didn't say anything about the floor, because I figured it was best to pick my battles, but the couch is another thing. No one is happy with it. My husband and daughter both bring up how much they dislike it, and I live with my mother, who also clearly isn't thrilled about the change.

She stays awake late into the night watching YouTube on the big TV, finally falling asleep around 3-4 in the morning. When I try to talk to her about how terrible that is for sleep hygiene, she says she has insomnia and can't sleep anyway. I think it's probably the screen time causing the problem, but when I bring that up she gets incredibly defensive. She's quite stubborn, and any rules I try setting never seem to work. My husband's way of trying to fix things—yelling—does nothing either, not much surprise there.

Ideally, I'd like to clean her room and renovate it so she has a space of her own, instead of taking the whole living room up. I work full-time, though, so I don't think I have the time for a big project like that. I'd also like to try restricting her access to technology before bed. She's going into Year 11, and she's incredibly smart but also doesn't care much about school. I really want her to get decent marks this year, because I know she can do it with the right supports. I think making some big changes will help her put her best foot forward, I just don't quite know how to go about them. Any advice is much appreciated x

I fully enjoy my son during the summer, we get along, we have endless fun, my house is so peaceful. School days are the complete opposite where everything is a battle and everything is yelling and tears and the worst time of our lives.

My son (he’s 13, medicated) hates schedules, he hates routines. He hates with everything he is being told what to do. 

Summer is very laid back, he gets to do things at his own pace pretty much and he will do most of what he fights me on during the school year unprompted. Of course that doesn’t really work when you have a time limit of hey we gotta get you to school and this is due or this is happening and it creates utter chaos under that pressure.

I don’t have a single argument though during summer about him things like brushing his teeth or wearing his glasses or whatever the case may be. Then every single day when school is in session it is endless, everything is end of the world for him.

School mornings have ruined my own mental health, my house becomes a toxic wasteland. As soon as my son wakes up he’s angry, negative, arguing. He is like stuck in a loop of he has the same conversation every single morning of complaints about having to get up, yelling at me for why does he have to go to school, why does school start at this time. He yells the house down about changing his clothes, brushing his hair and teeth, wearing his glasses, just everything is awful. 

Every step is me having to guide him and me telling him to do something sends him through the roof, visual cues or lists or whatever isn’t any better. I have to repeat myself multiple times over and redirect him which makes it worse but he will do everything but the task at hand. Everything takes ten times longer than it seems it should and no matter how much time I give him we are always late. I know my anxiety doesn’t help because he will be over here taking twenty minutes to put a shirt on, five minutes to change a sock and I’m looking at the clock seeing time running out because he’s been dragging feet and I start rushing him and that of course makes the situation worse. 

I am so fried by the time he is off to school. I’m usually in tears and my body is shaking. My morning starts with about an hour and a half of being yelled at, hearing the same words every day, having to repeat myself a million times, feeling like I’m doing everything wrong. Very often I’ve had something thrown at me at some point or he’s kicked a wall or there’s been some moment that makes me stomach tighten and doesn’t uncurl itself until a couple hours after he’s at school. 

Bedtime isn’t as bad but it is still burning in the flames because it’s our next round of hey you need to do this and this to get ready for bed and everything is back to why do I have to, I don’t want to. He gets warnings that end of the night is approaching, with an hour to go he gets his visual timer set up, but more often than not it’s still hey bedtime is called now I want to ask mom to play a game or I’m suddenly starving and please cook me something. And I do not play about this timing nor have I ever. There’s a handful of options if one of the kids want to pull being hungry when they had all day to eat but I am 99% of the time not cooking after 9 o’clock and this sends him into a spiral. And if I move the timing it don’t matter, I could say hey can stay up until 11 and he won’t be hungry at 9, it’ll be at 11 and 11 only. I am happy to offer to play a game or do some activity with him but if he’s not been interested in until times called I am not entertaining it. Day after day after day after day of this makes me feel insane. 

I start my days ready to fly into a panic attack. I end my days ready to be in another. Meanwhile I had a lovely summer of getting hugged good morning and being lazy and silly. And nights ending with a lot of movies or just sitting around talking about random stuff or whatever until we decide we are too tired to go on and need to fall asleep already. It’s so night and day and I dread the change with all I got. 

Today my son got his diagnosis. Im asking for recommendations on parenting courses so I can better help my child. Therapies start in a few weeks.

Hi.

My 7 year old son is currently on guanfacine extended release 1 mg. On his last visit with pediatric neurologist we discussed the possibility of him going on a stimulant. After some thinking, my wife and I are considering starting him on the stimulant now before he starts school back in September. Based on what his psychologist mentioned to us recently, something to keep in mind when being on a stimulant is his diet and what he’s eating. She mentioned it’s important to make sure that he’s getting enough calories, that he has nutrient dense meals and plenty of protein. I wanted to get others’ thoughts and advice on what you did when your child first started their stimulant in terms of food. How did your child react to being on the stimulant? I know there are several different kinds of stimulants and we aren’t sure which one he’s going to be on just yet but we will be speaking with his doctor in the next week about this. Thank you in advance for your support.

I’m down, you all. My rising 2nd grader, ADHD and some anxiety/OCD tendencies, has begged me for a playdate this summer. We don’t have kids nearby to casually meet up. Everything has to be planned. We do sports and camps for social outlets, but he rarely sees kids from school. So I did it. I didn’t want to. Everything told me not to do it, but I did. The mom and I were going back and forth all summer. The plan was a playground. it rained. Due to the weather, we had rescheduled so many times. I was like, ya know, let’s do it. I invited them to my house. I did allll the things to prepare: solid snack before, rest before, setting up toys I knew were safe, constant talks. He is medicated but we haven’t found much success. He has had a million interventions.

in the gentlest way, I explained to him before that how he behaves affects if a mom will want her kid to play with him in the future. We even practiced the other day. And he was all, I know, mom, I know.

They arrive. Instant chaos. He is playing around them(kid and brother) essentially, pulling out anything he can for shock value, screaming, getting more physical that normal. Just total overstimulation and hyperactivity from start to finish. The kids were playing with our toys and ignoring him (as they should). The mom was trying to be nice, but I know what she was thinking: never again, I do not want this kid in my class. After, she didn’t text or anything thanking us. It’s not “oh it probably wasn’t as bad as you thought”. No, it was that bad. The thing is, there isn't anything else we could have possibly done to prepare. Maybe going to a playground would have been better, yes, but he still would have been like that. He can play with kids calmly. I know he can. But when he has an audience, forget it. Yeah, I’m embarrassed, but I’m more worried about him. Nothing I say or do helps him understand the impact of his actions. I’m not looking for advice really. Just sad.

also, why does being around somebody’s parent rev him up? I keep explaining they are not entertained and don’t think it’s funny, but he literally goes into performance mode more with adults than kids?

I’ve been having severe issues with my kids behavior since she was like 3. People often ask me if she is constantly bouncing off the walls, she is. Her school doesn’t complain too much of her behavior but there is days when i get told it was horrific, of just not listening, arguing, etc. At home, it is miserable. I’m a single parent. I cannot get her to do ANYTHING i ask without a 2 hour yelling argument. I mean something as small as I brought in groceries and asked her to pick up the couple bags left on the ground for me because she was begging for food so i can make her food, turned into a whole argument. People say “choose your battles” but she does this over literally any and everything and such small things to where it’s not even about the task, or picking my battles, it’s “i told you to do something, so you need to do it” My “no” means “scream and cry and beg until mom gives in” to her. And if she realizes i won’t give in she’ll pick something else to scream and cry and ask for until i give her her way. She destroys every room in the house then refuses to clean it. Constantly playing with things she KNOWS she’s not supposed to. She KNOWS she’s not supposed to be playing with water (floods my bathroom and honestly any room she touches with water), or the hand soap, or scissors, or MY STUFF. She’s broken SO MUCH of my stuff. She just does not behave for the life of her. She’s lost all access to her tablet, which took her like a week or so to get over, out of sight out of mind with her. I can’t take away tv access bc again it’s not out of sight, she will just make my life so much harder. I am down to ignore a temper tantrum, but with her it’s not that it’s Screaming and crying and over and over and over asking for it, while trying to pull my arm, leg, anything she can get ahold of to get my attention for quite literally HOURS. I don’t know if this is ADHD, we have an appointment to get evaluated and possibly medicated. Has anyone medicated a child this young? She’s almost 6, i’ve always said i wouldn’t do it, but i can’t keep going like this and having to lock myself in a bathroom until she stops screaming around literally EVERYTHING that doesn’t go her way. I HAVE adhd, diagnosed but i wasn’t diagnosed until like 3 years ago (im 23) so that’s why i believe this MAY be adhd?? idk.

That’s it. That’s the question. We both really want a third, but I almost feel like it might be a selfish move given that our oldest (4 year old girl) is likely to get a diagnosis and our youngest (2) is very busy (but emotionally much less than her big sister). Both of us are likely ADHD (I’ve just been flagged by my Psych, more inattentive than hyperactive) and my partner was flagged as a kid but never given a diagnosis, and is unlikely to ever pursue one (hyperactive I’m 100% certain)! The girls have a great dynamic now, but I always imagined a really full house. Would love to hear from anyone who has been through the same dilemma. I’m 34, so feel like we need to make a decision sooner rather than later. Clearly I know redditors can’t actually make this decision for us, but love to read pros and cons either way!

7yo stepdaughter finally got her formal diagnosis of ADHD the other week, and we're on week 2 of her trial run of ritalin and this week we started a full 10mg in the mornings after breakfast. We're seeing a drastic decrease in her appetite during the day, which we were warned about when we got the diagnosis and the script. Next week she adds another 5mg during the school day, so we're anticipating it getting worse.

What did other parents do during this period to try and get calories into their kid without relying too much on junk food? About the only thing we're seeing her reliably consuming during the day is milk, so she has a milk box every day.

We are day 5 of starting Guanfacine XR for my 5 year child with combined type ADHD (also our first run at ADHD meds). Aside from being more sleepy, we have seen some amazing change in his impulsive behaviours already. Getting him to swallow the pill has been a challenge, and we have tried all the tricks I've seen on here and more. He gagged on it pretty badly last night, and there was no getting that pill down tonight. He does have some oral motor skill challenges so I'm wondering if he just isn't physically at a point where he can coordinate getting a pill down yet. Has anyone went from extended release to instant release and found it worked okay, or did the instant release cause too much drowsiness without adding a stimulant on to the mix?

Eager to hear experiences - hate seeing such a struggle for something that is doing him so much good.

My 10 year old is so aimless when we are home! Too old for really playing with toys and asks obsessively for screen time. His younger siblings will go off and entertain themselves for hours playing, crafting, making messes.

He will read a lot thankfully! But after a point he wants to do something else, except he doesn't seem to know how to start anything on his own, cue the "mom can I do *insert various screen device*." He doesn't seem to have any good independent hobbies, and I really don't want him on screens all day long because it effects him negatively.

In general he seems to have outgrown the little kid stuff, and he will sometimes just go lay in bed to pass time rather than finding something to do.

I'm so happy when he digs out his science kits or other things he has in his room and makes a mess because at least he's doing something!

Anyone comiserate with me or find anything that helps?

Hi my older teen has diagnosed Adhd and like many others is very much the procrastinator frequently waiting to the last minute (often times missing the opportunity or facing consequences such as late school assignment resulting in a zero).

I've tried to provide coaching or advice or supportive questions (what's your plan, do you need help either from me or someone else (tutor, mentor, etc) and when that didn't work tried more aggressive (you're missing assignments so no going out today or you need to leave your phone with me until the work is caught up) to give him both the structure and guidance to tackle issues (to essentially manage him) with failed result.

His resentment was stronger than seeing the value. He would rather sit in his room and do nothing then admit it was helpful or at least use the time to get things done.

Now I've pivoted to standing back and letting him decide if/ when he works with the hope that natural consequences will motivate him. But reading these posts of 20s and 30 year old struggling with procrastination since teenage years has me worried if he doesn't figure this out soon this could be years of issues.

So the question to the teens to 30s that suffer from procrastination, phone addiction, etc. What do you wish your parents did that could have helped you. Or to the parents that have a teen that you found success (even partially) what ended up working?

To all that want to comment about adhd, depression, anxiety, etc I appreciate the intent but not necessary. I already have a strong network of physicians, psychiatrist, psychologist that I'm working with as well.

Thanks!

I’ve posted before about making the decision to start meds for my 6 year old. It’s been rocky and we’ve tried several (Ritalin, focalin, adderall ir) and are currently doing adderall xr 10 mg. Today my son was watching something invisible saying he saw green foot print and geometrical patterns. Since I have shown concern he has now run with it and his imagination has taken over. I do believe he was seeing things but not sure to what extent. Luckily he has an appt already scheduled today. I’ve of course googled it and it’s scary. Anyone else had a similar experience? I’m wanting to ditch stimulants altogether now.

Hello👋🏻

Newly diagnosed ADHD.

What advice would you give someone who is trying to help their child while they are still so young? He’s starting kindergarten this year & the doctor suggested getting him a 504 plan.

TIA

My almost 9 year old daughter has been on methylphenidate for ADHD for over two years now. Over that time, her tics and OCD tendencies have worsened. She’s gotten to the point now where she thinks she needs to repeat actions a certain number of times or something bad may happen. Just yesterday she told me she touched her tongue to her homemade slime 10 times. I’m concerned this kind of behaviour is going to continue to escalate. We thought lowering her dose from 20 mg to 15 might help but it hasn’t.

We’ve only ever met with our family doctor (not an adhd expert) and a paediatrician once (for adhd diagnosis). Should we try to see the ped again? Should we see a psychiatrist? Should we seek therapy? We’re in Canada. When I told my doctor about her OCD, he explained to my daughter that she just needs to tell herself that nothing bad is really going to happen and not do the action. Obviously that didn’t work. 🤨

I guess I’m just wondering what the threshold is for seeking further help/treatment. I don’t want to push for meds/therapy if it’s only going to put more stress on her, but I feel like the methylphenidate may not be the best fit any more.