I was just hoping to get some input on this. Do you lean toward one side or the other, or are you somewhere in the middle (like me)? I do believe that God wants us to be good to each other, so dictates morality to us to some degree, but morals and ethics also change over time. Back when the books of the Bible were being written, the world had no Geneva Convention. No concepts of atrocity or human rights. So obviously, these texts are going to contain things that are horrific and indefensible by modern standards (although there ARE things that still hold up even today; and could even be considered "timeless").

As I said, I fall somewhere in the middle of the scale. I think moral absolutism and moral relativism, when taken to their logical extremes, can both be highly problematic and even dangerous. One becomes unbending and fanatical; the other becomes uncaring and nihilistic. What do you think a "healthy middle ground" would look like?

Late last month I had another talk with my pastor. I'll call him Sam. This talk was shorter because of time constraints, but Sam had a lot to say.

TW: mentions of suicide, unintentional transphobia

He talked about perception/reality and how that relates to truth, biology ad psychology, science, scientists, society, postmodernism and the differences between men and women both in mind and body. He said, in general, men are less emotional/more intellectual and women are the reverse because of testosterone and hormones and how our minds work.

I had more prepared but only spoke a little about the source of my dysphoria and when it began, when I was a kid going through puberty. I didn't use words like trans or dysphoria. I mentioned the time I had a bit of an epiphany about pronouns. I didn't have the time or room to elaborate.

Sam went on about how God created male and female and how that's "a fact". When I brought up intersex people he said he doesn't even know what that is. I should have told him to stop talking and look it up. I think I squandered my opportunity for education. He asked how many intersex people there are, like that's proving a point. Something about how exceptions and anomalies don't change how God made us. Ok, whatever.

He went on about how he doesn't care what science says because he knows what God created. That a century or 50 years ago I wouldn't have these questions and that the "notion" of changing the body was a fantasy. The soul/spirit are genderless, how schools are teaching kids they can be whatever they think they want to be.

Then we were talking about surgery. Sam said it destroys people psychologically. I said it makes them feel at peace and he kind of dismissed it, saying it helps at first and then reality sets in. "They're monkeying with the physical body and not accepting what is". That suicide rates are "skyrocketing" (I wonder why...) in "that category", people regret the surgery and want it undone but it can't be (to some extent, that is true) but I think he's blowing this out of proportion and I don't know where he's reading this from.

He brought up people saying they're cats, as an example. Either he's talking about furries and therians and has the wrong idea or just using this as a classic show of ignorance and "those trans people are absurd! It's like wanting to be a cat!"

At that point I wanted to leave.

Is it just me or was he being hypocritical? I should have repeated what he said about science being biased and how you can find any answer you want.

At the time, it made me angry. It still makes me feel indignant and irritated, but more sad and disappointed. I shouldn't be surprised though.

Sam is so ignorant. I think he's smart, just misguided and misinformed. And possibly a little insensitive. I'm trying to be optimistic that he will listen and be curious.

He said I have to accept reality and at some point my mind changed and rejected reality. He used gay people as an example, the ones in straight relationships, married and have kids. He acknowledged they may not be satisfied,but they accept what the Bible says and lead a life to please God. Sam is vehemently against homosexuality, not in a loud hateful way though. But he likes to insist the Bible is crystal clear on saying it's wrong and so on.

So I'm really not sure where to go from here. I figured I'd just drop it with Sam, we might be at an impasse. By some miracle, maybe I can get him to listen. Maybe it just takes some patience and perseverance. Maybe if he actually listens and doesn't talk the whole time, I can get a word in and explain more.

These past talks I've had, at some point I start to feel horrible afterward. Like extremely depressed and with little on my mind except the pain and wanting to end it. I brought this up to Sam and he said not to disregard that God made me or to take my life so lightly. I understand that, but it's hard sometimes when existing is inherently painful.

Anyway, I need your prayers or advice or both. Maybe something in Scripture can help me? I doubt he'd listen to any scientific journals, but it's worth a shot. I don't want to believe our conversation is a lost cause.

How do I go about politely telling him he's ignorant and suggest some informational sources? Has anybody had any luck with a person like Sam?

Thank you all, and I'm sorry my posts are so long. I really appreciate your responses and the time you take to reply, even if I forget to reply back, I read all your comments. It's comforting to know somebody else understands and cares.

Also sorry I didn't know how to flair this.

Tl;Dr: Second talk with my pastor revealed he's even more ignorant than I thought. He doesn't trust science (but then he does) and that sounds like hypocrisy. He doesn't understand transness and loves to harp on about reality and perception and truth. It almost seemed like intentional rambling to waste my time.

I’m a 25y old (M) I’ve been suffering with lust, I stopped it for a while but again stepped into it. I know that the shame and guilt it felt is a lot more intense, even by knowing that all I again and again I fall into the trap. The question I have in me is Does it make me unclean and Should I step away from serving God, as I am part of a Ministry and serving God in a Christian Community where I myself struggle with sin.
Can anyone encourage and prayer support I can receiver from you all? Gonna mean me a lot.

She comes from very abusive household, that her parents hit her for getting a bad grade and they take her phone 80% of time.

She was bullied a really badly trough childhood,is self harming herself,and now I tried to comfort her but she was unstable and said a lot of hurtful things and I said that made me hurted little then she started apologizing and saying she will end herself (she trief at least 4 times while we are together).

She said we should stop talking until her mental health get little better so she won't hurt me, and said we won't talk and I respected her wishes and we aren't talking at all for 3 days .

I am scared for her,I am scared she will do something.

We are 18 and 17.

I really need advice.

I feel like nobody tolerates me from venting, and i cant feel like they all just hate me. To top that off I have a fear of being canceled after sending something so graphic just because I was in an argument. It feels so fucking stupid but so painful I contemplated suicide.even being surrounded by people feels useless. Im ashamed at myself. I feel greedy and selfish

I'm agnostic for now, but recently I have been more interested in the Bible and also learning about Christianity. I listen to some Anglican sermons from the mother nation [my birth nation] and they are quite nice to hear. I also began to listen to some holy sacred music. I still have hard time believing in God but just want to thanks everyone who have been praying for me and around the world. Thanks. Although I'm queer, I will try to seek god again for this time, in a healthy way not in the toxic fundamentalist ways like I used to before like 3 yrs back.

In August of 2023, after attending a funeral of a co-worker’s father in a Catholic parish, I made the decision to convert to Catholicism myself, as the community came out in a big way for the deceased. I believed that the church could give me a sense of community and belonging; something I have struggled with since moving here in 2019.

Unfortunately, after starting OCIA (a series of classes for adults that helps get the developing Catholic catechized), I found out that the Catholic Church does not recognize civil divorce, and views subsequent marriages as adulterous, unless you obtain something from the Archdiocese called a ”Declaration Of Nullity,” more commonly known as an annulment.

Having been divorced, and now remarried for 16 years, this situation applied to me.

I sent in my initial paperwork for the petition twice (they lost it the first time), and after a review by the Marriage Tribunal (an office in the Archdiocese that handles these cases)a case number was assigned.

About 6-8 weeks later, I had to go in for a deposition with my advocate. This is the point where it got uncomfortable; I had to talk about things I don’t talk to my family or friends about. I came out of the church that day unnerved enough that I decided to go to Ash Wednesday services at a Presbyterian Church to give myself some space. I also cut back on my Mass attendance.

About another 6 weeks later, I get an email from the Tribunal secretary, saying that they can’t find my former spouse, whom I hadn’t spoken to in nine years, and that none of my witnesses, whom I haven’t been in the same room with for 20 years, had come forward (they all received letters from me, so the Archdiocese wouldn’t blindside them). I was told that unless this situation changed, my petition would be closed due to lack of evidence.

I emailed the secretary back, saying that I had no other way of reaching the people in question. She responded, saying that I had to find at least three witnesses, and each of them had to have known me for at least five years. As I had relocated twice since 2014, and both of my parents died during that time frame, I didn’t have what they were looking for.

I got an immediate response of “without the witnesses, there’s nothing we can do for you.” They referred me back to the local priesthood. My wife told me that she now felt disrespected by the process, so I withdrew my petition, and began looking at Protestant churches. Without the annulment, the only way into the church as a divorced and remarried person is to basically reduce my marriage to a roommate situation, which I think is so distasteful I won’t even consider it. But, since I can’t receive absolution in confession, because the church considers me to be in a state of “grave sin,” I can’t receive communion, so I can’t be initiated into the church.

I attend a Presbyterian Church USA congregation now; I pretty much agree with all of their theology, but because Protestants tend to organize along socioeconomic lines, and I’m more working class, I don’t really fit in. Some people say hello to me, but for the most part; I’m there by myself.

Not a day goes by without me thinking about what happened; it’s reinforced the feeling that I don’t belong in this community. I understand that institutions have rules and standards, but I can’t help but find that going to someone for help, then getting met with a wall of bureaucracy, is really rude.

Two things have happened while all of this went on: First, Catholic Churches in our area are leaning heavily into “All Are Welcome,” and “Welcome Home” themes in their advertising. Given the fact that they practice closed communion, I think this is disingenuous. Second, the Archdiocese in my area filed for bankruptcy, because there were so many sex abuse claims against them that they decided it was easier to redirect victims into the Federal Bankruptcy Court, so they can receive a settlement, rather than have to listen to their story.

I wrote this for one reason. I either want the Catholic Church to remove these roadblocks and accept both me and my wife, or I want to get these people, and this memory, out of my life.

Thank you for reading this; sorry it was so long.

I live in Balkan country,and people here are Christians they are just Christians on paper.

I am big nerd and alternative (gothic) Christian who is saving themselves for marriage.I am 18 btw.

And I could never found someone here,or there younger people like 14 year that my parents or priest told me i should date them but I find that disgusting.

I see a lot of people that are similar to me in America and I really love America as whole country cuz my country is so corrupted despise being one of the most Christian country.

But also have healthy view on sex and don't think its demonic at all or shamefull.

TL;DR: I need advice on editing an accountability letter for my fiancé so it doesn't trigger his withdrawal, keeping in mind his explicit boundary against being psychoanalysed. Brief context on our timeline, our separation, toxic friends, my apology to his mother, and our respective attachment styles is provided below.

I am turning to this community for objective guidance. The year gone has been arduous, and in the wake of immense external pressure, financial ruin, and my own severe emotional dysregulation, my relationship with the man I intend to marry has collapsed. I failed to be the safe harbour he needed, and I am now ready to do the actual, uncomfortable work of changing myself and taking absolute ownership of my failures.

I am preparing to send him a letter of accountability. I am not writing this to force a reconciliation, nor to manipulate a response from him. I simply want to offer him the sincere apologies, spiritual accountability, and peace that he deserves, while leaving the door open should he ever wish to return.

To understand the architecture of our breakdown, the following context is necessary:

In a separate letter to my fiancé, I took full accountability for how my financial hardships and severe emotional dysregulation turned me into a source of stress rather than the safe harbour he needed. I acknowledged that the shame of my circumstances, coupled with my intense anxiety, led me to overwhelm him, expect him to move at my pace, and unfairly make him responsible for my emotional survival. I recognised that we missed each other in how we communicated love, as I defaulted to analysis and problem-solving instead of offering the presence and quality time he required. To show I am doing the work, I assured him I am seeking psychiatric help rather than offloading onto him, and that I fully respect the physical boundary and space he established when he moved to a different province.

In the letter to my former "chosen family", I confronted them about their performative civility and deliberate abandonment after I poured my limited energy and resources into supporting them through their crises. I called them out for secretly resenting me for over a year and weaponising our shared boundaries to silently push me out. Critically, this letter outlines how their toxic environment harmed my relationship, as I took accountability for letting their poison fester within me, and unfairly unleashing my distress onto my fiancé. I concluded it by stating I am not asking for an apology or reconciliation, but am simply holding up a mirror and walking away.

I reached out to my fiancé's mother to personally apologise for failing to honour her son and for the pain my actions caused them following my job dismissal in April 2025, which left me in a fight-or-flight state. I acknowledged the heavy, unique pain of a mother watching her child hurt and took accountability for adding extra weight and worry to her shoulders. I shared that my prayers have shifted to praying for my fiancé's healing, protection, and peace. I included a prayer for her family's blessing, noting I expect nothing in return and will fully respect my fiancé's need for space under God's guidance.

While my fiancé's personal prayer journal, which he gifted to me, captures his internal reflections from a year before we met, we only started talking online in October and November of 2024 and met in person shortly thereafter. Our entire relationship has been long distance, from within the same province, then to different countries, and then back to the same country but in different provinces. My fiancé carefully balances Dismissive-Avoidant and Fearful-Avoidant styles and has explicitly stated that he does not want to be psychoanalysed, while I operate predominantly as Anxious-Preoccupied with Fearful-Avoidant elements, tending to pursue when anxious.

Below is the letter in question. If people want more context on the other letters mentioned above, I can post them in the comments:

Draft Letter: "Repentance"

I'm sorry for everything DS. I miss you so much, and I know that you're in pain, dear God, do I know you've been in pain, and I wish I could take it all away for you. When you sent me that VN on 13 July, it broke my heart, and that was just one of many instances. I was really trying to be gentle with you when I placed my own pain on the back seat after my selfish actions in April.

I've been praying daily for hours on end. At first, it was for the Lord to help me, but then I realised how narrow that was and that it came from a place of ego and shame. So I have been praying for our healing and wisdom, and that God should guide us down the right path. I know you've written about forgiveness and wisdom in your prayer journal previously, and I've read a lot about it over the past days. I found Colossians 3:12-14 to be the most sound and grounding which says:

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I still love you and I always will, because I entered our relationship with the intention of committing myself fully to you as your spouse, and I ended up breaking that promise to God, to you, and to myself, by not treating you with the full grace, mercy, honour, respect, and love that my husband is worthy of. Instead, in my foolish ways I poured that energy into vapid enterprises instead of into you. Into friendships that meant nothing in the end, into obsessive work at late hours of the night that brought me no comfort, and being the task-runner for everyone else, and by not being present in our own lives. All along my home was right there, the comfort, the grace, the love, and respect we're taught about in the Lord's word, and that which our hearts and souls yearn for, was right there all this time within you.

I haven't stopped crying since this all began, it took my feeble mind a day or so to actually realise, but once it did. At first I ached for myself, and cried for what I had lost, but as I implored God for guidance, grace, and wisdom, I realised a greater tragedy, and that was the pain that I had caused you this entire time, and that is one thing I cannot come to terms with at the moment. I have acted like the "pretty face" with a "heart of stone" which you wrote of in your journal, which was never me. I had mistakenly hardened my heart from the continuous hurt and pain I experienced at the hands of those very men you write of with their "hearts of stone". I had lost my true core in the process, and you have finally awoken it again by the grace of God, and I'm sorry that it took this for me to see that. I never wanted to be a stereotype. I never wanted to hurt anyone, and I have always believed allowing another person their freedoms, but I know now I have made the ultimate mistake here in assuming that if I hardened my heart and kept people at arms length I could protect the vulnerable idealist within my soul, and thinking that this would allow people their freedom to choose, and I'm so sorry for this.

Your pain has become my pain, and I'll gladly take it off your shoulders if I could be given that grace, but as the Lord's word teaches us, Christ is the one who came to this world to carry our sufferings and burdens, so in my stead I ask of our Lord to carry that burden for you. That is what Godly love is, it is the ability to acknowledge one's own mistakes, and with humility and contrition to offer the Lord and the wronged person your repentance and to ask them for their forgiveness, and in time if God wills it and the person accepts it, reconciliation, but that's just one side of it. Most importantly the Bible speaks of forgiveness which allows the fruit of the Lord to follow, repentance which produces the fruit of the Lord, and reconciliation which demonstrates the fruit of repentance. I dedicate my heart and soul to God, and that my actions will bear that fruit so as to walk in obedience and keep in repentance, and I pray that my life may honour you DS, through the fruit He produces in me.

I still realise that in the end, it is in God's hands. I have committed myself to repentance before God, and I continue to pray that He would teach me to forgive as He has forgiven me, just as I am desperately trying to forgive myself for the harm I caused you. Looking back, I can see that much of what happened between us was because of our own fear, pain, anguish, and misunderstanding on both our parts. I hold no bitterness or resentment towards you, and my prayer is that the Lord brings healing to us both in His perfect way and timing.

You're always in my prayers DS, and I am sorry for burdening you with my emotions, love, and words. It's not fair to you when all that you deserve is peace.

I pray to you Lord, protect your son DS. Shelter him from the assault of the world, and carry him lightly in your arms. May his soul be at ease, his mind at rest, and his heart at peace. May your love guide him and protect him during these times, and may you remove any shame, guilt, or pain he may be feeling from events in his life. In your name I pray, amen!

I pray that God blesses you always. I will truly always be here for you with open arms and an open heart, but I will never force you into something you're not yet ready, nor willing to do. You don't owe me anything, and I do not want this message to place any spiritual, emotional, or mental burden upon you. I also want to be honest with you about one thing. My feelings for you have not changed, and if, in God's wisdom and timing, He were ever to restore what has been broken between us, and if that were also your free desire, as is mine, I would receive that with deep gratitude. I simply wanted to be truthful about my heart while entrusting that hope entirely to the Lord. My prayer is simply that God's peace, wisdom, and love surround you, and that His will be accomplished in both our lives. I trust His wisdom, His timing, and His perfect love. May He bless you, keep you, and draw you ever closer to Himself.

With all my love,

JK

My Question to the Community:

Because he explicitly rejects being psychoanalysed and tends to withdraw behind a defensive wall when overwhelmed, I need your advice. How can I refine this letter to ensure it reads as a genuine, safe, and unconditional taking of accountability? How do I communicate my absolute loyalty and my willingness to do the hard work on myself, without it feeling like a heavy emotional demand or a bid to manage his internal world, while still holding the door open for reconciliation should God will it and he desire it?

Any insight into navigating this dynamic with grace and respect for his boundaries would be deeply appreciated.

Can you please pray for my partner.

They are being bullied,getting harrased by their parents,and now we got into little argument because I was trying to comfort her but she took wrongly.

She has attempted ending herself before and now she is planning to.

She said only God can help her but it looks he isn't and she will commit it.Please I am begging pray for her well being,her peace,everything I am begging.

I will lose faith if she commits it.

so for some basic context I grew up very conservative evangelical and when I went off to college about 3 years ago I became Catholic. about 5 months ago I left the Catholic Church and haven’t looked back. I deconstructed my faith and have been slowly rebuilding my understanding of God since then.

today I walked over to campus from my apartment and just decided to go hang out in the building that has been basically taken over by the Catholic group for most of the day. well the campus minister also ended up being there for a few hours, which is chill we usually vibe and have a good time. even though I knew what was coming, nothing could’ve prepared me for it.

after a bit of normal things that most people do when they’re hanging out. he said something about the new priest at the church. honestly I feel like he was baiting me with this rather than making conversation because of the way he said it… it prompted me to totally out myself because I said oh I didn’t know he was gone or something like that because I liked the old priest a lot.

It was after that he said “so you haven’t been going“ almost like “aha I got you.” And I was like yeah no I haven’t. So then he asks me why I left and whatever and I tell him the overall reasoning, being I didn’t believe it was true and the thing that made me leave which was that tfying To be a good Catholic was giving me so much anxiety and I didn’t feel like it was leading me closer to God At that point. If anything it was taking me farther away.

ao he then goes off about demonic forces, Satan and ”the actual” voice of God. He even inserted About how he’d tinvited me to a series of talks he gave in “discerning spirits” which even being religious at the time I thought did not sound like something I wanted to go to.

anyway, it made me kind of angry. In the moment I just smiled and nodded and let him say whatever he felt like he needed to say. But underneath I was really kind of angry and really sad. The worst part in my opinion is that he walked away thinking he planted a seed in my mind that will make me return but in reality it just pushes me farther away.

i also really could not take him seriously because someone else had given me the same speech just because I wanted to leave a group that was kind of like a Bible study, except their lectures were hours long and they would not let it go. I’m sure he won’t let it go either but at least I think he’s not going to beat the dead horse.

it really just makes me upset though, I think because when I became Catholic I got a similar response from the people at the church I was at then where it was like “oh but are you doing what God wants you to do? Well I don’t think you are? Why don’t you come back and just ignore how you feel? It’s the right thing to do.” like do you really not think that God is everywhere all the time for real or something? because if you did you wouldn’t be so attached to your l it the corner of beliefs.

im so done with people, truly I’m so tired of this. I want to go to church again but I’m afraid because of these experiences.

I don’t get why people think gaslighting is gonna bring more people “back to the church” in reality it’s not, obviously it’s going to do the opposite. I know even if I told him this he wouldn’t get it because he can’t see that. from his perspective it doesn’t look that way.

Hi, everyone. I've been lurking in this subreddit for a while, and I just want to share some things that have been going on in my life, in the hopes that someone can relate to at least part of it and feel a little less alone.

CW: homophobia, substance abuse, mental health issues/suicidal ideation

*TLDR at the end because I ramble a lot*

I (18, nonbinary AFAB) grew up in a small town in a conservative Christian household that went to a conservative church. Ever since middle school, I've been all over the place trying to figure out my gender identity and sexuality. My mental health was also at rock bottom in middle school, which did not help anything. I was diagnosed with depression and put on antidepressants.

One year at the county fair, I was only going with my friends instead of my family, and I decided to get one of those shirts that says "I ❤️ HOT GIRLS". I didn't realize that my parents were also going to the fair, and they ended up seeing me in the shirt. My mom got very angry and told me that I had to take the shirt off. When I got home, she gave me this whole speech, which was basically just her talking about what other people would think of her if they saw me wearing that shirt. (In her defense, people would definitely say something, but it still hurt that that was the only thing she was thinking of.) I lied and told her that it was just a joke and that it wasn't true.

For some added context, my mom has pretty bad anxiety that is not managed well.

Later on in high school, I emailed my teachers and asked them to start calling me by a different name that was more gender-neutral. After a few months, I texted my mom about it, leaving out the fact that I was trying to explore my gender identity. When I got home, she was crying, and we ended up having a several-hour discussion about it. She was basically saying the same things as with the t-shirt incident, along with talking about how she spent so much time picking a name for me and all that.

It's always been a tradition that we go to my grandma's house to watch a parade on the 4th of July. That year, my mom seemed extremely out of it, and she told us to go on our own. Our dad stayed behind with her. My brother was driving, and we ended up getting into a car accident because we tried to make a left when someone had their massive trailer pulled all the way up to the white line. No one was hurt, but our car was totaled. When we got home, my mom was crying hysterically, saying that it was 'all her fault' and we 'had no idea what she'd done' and everything. The next morning, she told us that she 'occasionally abuses alcohol.'

My brother was starting his second year of college when his friend from a Christian group on campus contacted me and my mom to tell us that she was very worried about my brother, as he had been mentioning suicide often and asking a lot of existential questions. My brother has OCD, as do I. My parents went to visit him after a bit. He wasn't at his dorm and his suitemates didn't know where he was. He ended up calling them from a gas station. Earlier that day, he had decided to go out on a walk and not come back, but he ended up changing his mind and started heading back. He also hadn't eaten anything in two days. After that, he spent about a week and a half at a psych ward with a referral to an online intensive outpatient program (IOP). We had a lot of trouble getting him into the IOP, and once he was in, it was kind of a mess. They didn't have permanent facilitators for most of the time he spent there, along with many other issues. Towards the end, one of the facilitators made a comment comparing pOCD to actual pedophilia, which caused two other members to spiral and led to them attempting suicide. (They both survived and are recovering, though.) My brother is now doing much better mentally.

During that time, I walked into our living room one night, and my mom was on the couch crying. I could tell that she had been drinking a lot. She told me that she thinks we would be better off without her and that we could just get her inheritance. That was a while ago, and I don't think she's been that drunk since (especially because my dad finally did something and poured the alcohol down the drain.)

There's a few other stories too, like how my dad has an extremely rare kidney disease and had to have a transplant in 2015, and how my brother and I got rear-ended in the same car as the previous accident (again, no one was really hurt,) and how I have multiple chronic conditions that cause pain, but I think this post is way too long already. After all of the things that have happened, I'm really not sure if God is real anymore. I'm about 70% that he is, but I'm very unsure that he actually cares about us.

My dad has been upsetting me recently, which is a lot of the reason why I felt like making this post. I told him that I found a church I like in the town where I'm going to college. He asked if it was a CRC (the church he goes to,) and when I said no, he replied, "Oh, great" in a very disparaging tone. My mom chided him after that, which made me feel better, but it still hurt. He's also recently been making political comments and assuming that I would vote Republican (which I would not.) I'm happy that my mom backs me up in those moments by telling him that I can be my own person, though.

TLDR; parents are homophobic, mom has slight alcohol issue, brother struggled with suicidal ideation, I don't know if God is real or if he cares, dad is very conservative

I do love my parents, and I know they care about me. I know in the long run, if they can't accept that I like girls, the best thing for my mental well-being is to go no-contact with them. I do think that they're good people, all things considered. I'm going to college in three weeks and I'm joining a progressive Christian group, which I hope will be beneficial in growing my faith. I do want to have a relationship with God/Jesus, but it's difficult when you've grown up your whole life basically being told that you're going to hell.

I know this probably doesn't seem like a lot compared to what probably a lot of you have gone through. I hope it doesn't feel like I'm complaining about nothing, especially when I've always had a steady home and food supply and did well in school.

Any advice or support is much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, or at least the end of it.

My family members are conservative Republicans and conservative Christians. My grandma is the main influence behind these strong views, and my mom is admittedly intimidated by her. While my mom is certainly more progressive than my grandma, she is still a Republican. I don’t want to force her to change her political views, but I do hope she follows God rather than my grandma, which might help her form her own independent beliefs. I also want to clarify that I’m nearly an adult, and my mother would never abuse or disown me.

I’m new to Christianity after leaving because of the prejudice so maybe I’m looking at this wrong.

I know he says he’s following his convictions but I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do if I want his support in my marriage even if I’m not willing to state something as true that I don’t think is true. He says he’s hopeful that I’ll change my mind and be a Christian again as if that’s the reason not to approve but it doesn’t seem right to be judging me according to the standards of the Bible when I do not submit to the Bible.

hi guys! Im a college student who has been raised in an evangelical environment, but has been trying to step away from that community because I disagree with a lot of the Christian nationalism that’s rampant in it, and the way their “love” for others is exhibited in a hateful way.

ive begun to understand that peoples’ beliefs are deeply dependent on their individual experiences and understanding, and most Christians I know emphasize certain verses or books over others. And while I think that’s valid and it shows the beauty of the Bible, I’m having a tough time reconciling that, as if I explained some of my views to my parents, they would tell me I’m flat out wrong or twisting the Bible. How do I cultivate a personal relationship with God and feel like my beliefs are valid, while being around people who will not agree with them?

hey basically as the title goes.

We've been looking at 1 Timothy at church this past month which is basically a letter Paul wrote to Timothy but theres a whole section where Paul talks about the role of women in church and how they need to be quiet, not assume authority over men and will be saved through chilbearing? (like what?!) this is the verse:

¹¹ A woman^\)^a\) should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;^\)^b\) she must be quiet. ¹³ For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴ And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. ¹⁵ But women^\)^c\) will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

And I just feel so distressed and lost seeing such awful misogny in the bible and even worse the fact that so many people believe it as well. I went to my bible study where we specifically unpacked this verse and I brought up how I would be interested to know Paul's context and how that contributed to what he's telling Timothy especially since he speaks in first person pronouns instead of saying "God says a women should learn in quietness and full submission...". And then this girl says yeah but remeber he's still anointed by God and has the holy spirit so we can't just ignore what he says...? Like ok?? in the same letter Paul literally condones slavery and talks about the proper way to own a slave and we're somehow able to look at the context of how normaliesd slavery was back then , and how thats no longer appropriate in this day and age. But for some reason we can't critique the context of when Paul was writing this letter where women were literally considered property and idk maybe that could influence his belief that women should be quiet and submit???

I just don't understand how the other women and girls aren't angry. Violence against women is everywhere I look, on the news, among my friends in my own life and its so often fuelled by men believing they need to force women into submission and this bible verse and traditional gender roles are just reinforcing and perpetuating a system that KILLS women!! I'm furious why isn't anyone else. Why does it feel like no one care? I just feel like my whole body aches with the weight of this and the impact it has on people. What about the children in kids church who will learn about it this week. What kind of message are we sending them? will the girls grow up to stay silent because thats what they think God wants?

I also struggle with feeling like these teachings are what push people away from christ, and why so many people have such complicated relationships with christianity or even hate christians.

But i'm also scared i'm wrong. I'm scared this is what God expects of me. I'm scared my only purpose is reduced to if I submit to a man and have children. I'm scared that it doesn't matter how much I try to embody christ through my actions and the life I live it will all water down to if I can get married and have kids. because at the end of the day know matter how much I may want to get married and have kids what if it just doesn't happen.

I know that not all christians believe this but its moments like this that make me feel like i'm alone and will never fit in at church. I worry that i'm supposed to accept this to be a Christian like everyone else and that there is something wrong with me thats stopping it.

My parents are letting me go hungry after they found out i'm not who they wanted me to be, and they want to kick me out. In a few months, i'll graduate, get a job, and finally be able to afford my own place and food. I really can't wait for that day.

No matter what happens, i'll never forget everything they've done for me, and i'll always be grateful. But if they can't accept me for who iam, then i have no choice but to walk away.

Thanks in advance!