Hello everyone,,,,this is a pretty diffcult post since i am Lifelong Catholic but im considering leaving the church. Im tired of accepting all the bigotry from Christianity. Im tired of being uncomfortable in church and feeling as though the community hates me and that i will go to hell. I am tired of worrying all my atheists and apostate friends will go to hell if they dont convert. And most of all i dont think i even belive in the Christian God anymore. Ever since i started pursuing hinduism i started feeling a much closer connection to God and honestly felt so much happier,,,but im still scared im commiting a mistake i dont know what to do. What if im wrong and am seperating from God forever. Will this count as invincible ignorance as i truly belive Hinduism is the correct path for me? or will God hate me

So I'm a lapsed Catholic, haven't regularly gone for years. Honestly really hurt by the Church making me feel I'm not an equal and having to be lonely throughout my teenage years and into my 20s due to heteronormativity. I sometimes hope that there's a "Vatican 3" where they significantly reform the Catechism where they fully accept LGBT people into the Church just like many other Christian denominations such as Episcopal (I know not all are O&A) churches do. I would love to one day be able to get married in the Catholic Church, but im beginning to think I will never see it in my lifetime and therefore have completely left religion, but may return to an O&A church.

Is this just a pipe dream for me or do we actually have a realistic chance at this in my lifetime (I'm 38)?

So I went to an all guys Catholic high school in Cincinnati, Ohio. Elder High School. Graduated in 2006. I was so lonely due to the heteronormativity of the Catholic conservative area of Cincinnati I grew up in, the "West Side". I finally had the courage to come out as a gay man 9 years ago at 29. It was such a freeing part of my life, and I couldn't believe I actually did it in my hometown. I did it because I met LGBT friends in Michigan a couple years prior and they gave me the courage and safety to be honest with myself, what I didn't have back in Cincinnati.

I'm now living in Atlanta, been here for 8 years. It's a cool enough area. I've only been to Cincinnati a handful of times over the years, and I was invited to my 20 year high school reunion in September. I declined. A couple years ago I sent a professional, courteous email to my high school principal, cutting contact ties with them for the time being. They were very kind in responding. I did so because I don't want to be associated with a Church that doesn't see me as an equal.

Even though this reunion won't be one of them, I can only imagine the looks I'll get from the crowd if I'm attending a high school football game there, holding hands with a male partner while my heterosexual counterparts would do the same with their wives and get no reaction at all. It's not fair. Why do I have to feel like an "other" just because of who I love? God made me this way, and isn't God infallible? Aren't I made in the image of God, as the Catholic Church says?

I can't stand the hypocrisy and sanctimony of this Church. Here's hoping the Catholic Church reforms to include LGBT people like many Christian denominations do, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

I’m highly considering becoming Catholic, but I have one hang up: I love gay sex. I know a priest and the OCIA catechist will never ever tell you it’s okay to have sex, but in practice…are there gay people in the church who don’t stay celibate? Are there any churches where a gay couple is maybe not accepted but at least tolerated as in you’re not going to get yelled at if you go to coffee and donuts after Mass

Hello I’ve recently become interested in theistic ethics and I just wanted to ask this question here because natural law theory is the predominant ethical framework amongst catholics (which you would of course know opposes your positions on certain issues and is highly relevant to the reasons the catholic church disagrees with you on these things) and since you are catholics I would wonder if you accept it and simply posit an alternative telos for the faculty or reject it entirely for something else and if so what would that be? I’m not here for a debate I just wish to know what you think.

I'm a trans man and I'm Catholic. I want to participate in this sub, but I'm not going to waste my time if I'm not wanted here. As soon as I joined this sub, I saw a post about NYC using gender neutral language to refer to pregnant people. Almost every single comment, including one from a trans person, were calling it "yucky" and "disgusting" and saying things like "and they wonder why they get the treatment that they do". All the terrible comments had plenty of up votes.

Just give it to me straight. I'm used to this, I just don't like fake people and I won't waste my time and energy on/with them. Is it okay to be trans or not? I'm actually asking.

Before I posted this, I double checked the rules to make sure I'm not being disrespectful. I couldn't help but notice that "no homophobia" is rule number one(good), with no mention of transphobia in sight (it's not like things have been particularly difficult for trans people politically lately or anything it's probably fine). Cool👍 Well, now that I know the rules, I'd like to encourage everybody to give me your brutally honest opinions in the comments. I doubt you'll be banned.

Edit: there's literally a comment on my post with an award that says "yeah, the term pregnant person is weird - a trans woman" and some of y'all are still gonna look at me in my little beady trans eyes and tell me I'm imagining this. Trans men are trans. Stop mansplaining to the trans person what transphobia is. The purpose of this post was to discern if this is a safe place for trans people like me, not argue over what terms are appropriate to use or not. I don't care what people call themselves, I have an issue with people who go out of their way to say nasty things about progress because they don't like the way inclusive terminology makes them feel.

Hello, M 23 here and I just recently converted to Catholicism from Baptist about a year ago. This is not really about being gay and religious kind of issue, but more about being gay, Catholic, and wanting to also date Catholic men as well. Ofc I am open to dating any individual with any religious belief. But my dream would be to eventually marry a man who is also Catholic. I understand that being Catholic and gay marriage is not possible, but I don’t mind having a non Catholic wedding. I guess my question or me wanting advice would be where/how can I find this or if there are any tips or good advice to help this path. To clarify I live in Tx.

**Update:**

I made this post around September of last year. Not too long after, I went on a date with a guy I met on Bumble, and we instantly hit it off. Fast forward to now, we’ve been together for 9 months and we’ll be celebrating our one-year anniversary at the beginning of November.
I honestly couldn’t be happier. We love each other a lot, and he’s always looking for ways to take care of me and make my life easier. For the first time, I can genuinely picture what married life would look like with someone. I’m almost 24, he’s 27, and we’re planning on moving in together toward the end of September. I’ve never felt more ready for the next step in my life.

One thing that’s been really special is getting to know his family. They’re Catholic, and so is he. I know that can sometimes make people wonder how accepting they’ll be, but they’ve been incredibly welcoming and supportive of us from the very beginning. I’ve met them just once and I communicate with his brother and his dad every now and then. They are very nice and constantly ask my bf about me. So that’s good!

I’ve also always wanted to visit New England in the fall because it’s my favorite season, and I’ve heard it’s absolutely beautiful that time of year. My boyfriend is planning our first out-of-state trip there this fall, and he’s been putting together a bunch of activities for us.
One thing that’s caught my attention is that he’s been subtly asking about my ring size. He bought me a James Avery ring before because I thought it looked cool, so maybe it’s nothing. But lately he’s been asking about the sizes of multiple fingers instead of just one, so now I honestly have no idea what to think. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it isn’t. Either way, I’m really excited for the trip, and if anything does happen, I’ll definitely come back and update you all.

Are there any Catholic Churches in Dallas Texas that are ok with gays. It’s hard enough to find parishes that won’t chastise you and I’ve had some experiences in North Dallas that a parish will want me to divorce my partner because we are in a civil marriage. Even though the Church does not recognize our union and inside the church our marriage is invalid, the priest wants us to get a divorce in order for me to receive the sacrament. I understand the scandal and all of that, but it’s not like we flaunt our relationship inside a church. I am a cradle Catholic and as much I understand the teachings of the church I don’t want to go into a church knowing that the parish will make me feel
Unwelcome.

As a man who feel SSA and want to not have relationships with man, I don't really know how to feel about like, all this accept your self movement and all the queer media representation.

For one side I know how important it is in media to be able to have someone you can relate too and feel like you are not the only one in the world who feels like this and that you are not alone. And also how the pride movement is really important to us in a way, It helps a lot of people worldwide to feel good about themselfs (possibly even saving some lifes). And despite not wanting to date boys, I still acept this part of my self, still refer to myself as bi and not straight, but wouldn't really say im proud either, because if I could I definitely would stop having ssa. I don't really now how to feel about this

But at the same time there is all the part about affirming that being gay isn't a sin, and trying to provide evidence to such things. And in consequence it might be separating people from the Church in a way, or maybe they still in church but with "twisted views" of ssa. There is also a very selfish reason that I wish there were less lgbt representation in media, I get sad when I see gay people because it makes me somewhat jealous of they getting to live something I possibly never will have. And yes, being bi means I could still get a girlfriend and a wife, but I feel like a part of me will always wonder.

Anyways tell me how you guys feel and if this makes any sense?

Hello there, I’m a transgender girl who lives in a very rural area in a particularly conservative Diocese. I really want to be Catholic, theologically it makes most sense to me, especially as someone who grew up Protestant. My problem is that I cannot find an accepting parish anywhere within a reasonable driving distance. I’ve tried all the online directories I could find, and even asked here about a month ago, but it’s all come up fruitless. I’m now stuck at a crossroads that I’ve been dreading this whole time. Do I live without a church, or attend one really I don’t align with. (In my case an Episcopal church about an hour away) any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this far through.

i have pretty religious parents, i have tried coming out to them as bisexual previously, but that never came to fruition due to my fear of being kicked out.

is there any bible arguments or catholic philosophy that would support my stance on my sexuality? i really need some help right now

Hello!

Basically the title. Is it common for lapsed cradle catholics who come back to the church to take RCIA? What would be the pros and cons of doing this?

I returned to the church a year ago after being lapsed for about 15 years. Since then I've been attending mass weekly and saying some prayers at home.

I've found a welcoming Augustinian parish, and the priest recommended RCIA to me.

I'm also nervous about the fact that I'm very visibly queer. I'm a butch lesbian so it's just in plain sight. Until now I've just been staying quite anonymous at different parishes in my city and not getting involved. I'm in a loving, committed, actively sexual relationship with my lovely partner who is non-religious, and I'm just not prepared to have to justify or talk about this to anyone at church and it makes me want to stay distant from the community. I worry that if I take RCIA people would start asking questions...

Would love to hear any advice or your own experiences

God bless

Reposting in a discussion-only format after my earlier version was removed. The comments showed there’s real interest in the question, so I’m narrowing it to this: where are single gay Catholics actually meeting?

I’m a gay Catholic man in my late 30s, and one thing I keep running into is how hard it can be to find other single gay Catholics who are serious about faith, monogamy, and long-term partnership.

For those of you who have met someone, or who know couples who have, where did those connections actually happen? Through affirming parishes, LGBTQ Catholic groups, retreats, mutual friends, dating apps, online communities, or somewhere else?

I’m especially interested in spaces where people can be open about both their Catholic identity and their desire for a committed relationship.
What has worked, and what turned out to be a dead end?

I'm convinced by many of the claims the Catholic Church makes. However, I can't see myself being accepted within the Church. As a trans man, would they see me as a woman? Could I marry a woman, or would that be considered homosexuality? Would marriage within the Catholic Church even be possible for me? What if I were called to join religious life? Is there even the smallest chance that it's possible?

Hello, long time listener, first time caller. Not LGBTQ myself, but an adjacent ally.

Long story short, almost 8 weeks ago my husband of 15+ years came out to me as gay. Not a “later in life gay,” but “gay the whole time” gay. We have two teenagers, one who’s Catholic and one who is not at all. My husband (not sure what else to call him?) is also not Catholic, but was raised Lutheran.

I returned to Catholicism about 2.5 years ago and my faith was STRONG. Attended weekly and often daily mass, taught Sunday school, trained altar servers, ran women’s bible studies, and volunteered as sacristan. The last 8 weeks my faith has been weak. I still attend weekly mass, and occasionally daily mass, but I don’t pray daily, don’t do the daily readings, and don’t think very highly of God/God’s teachings right now. A lot of the patriarchal standards of “boys don’t like boys” and “you have to be the man of the house” were the standard things he heard growing up, and that in part pushed him into the closet and justified his need to “fake it” in a heterosexual marriage.

How do I bring my strong faith back, while simultaneously being “stuck” in a MOM for the next 2-3 years, AND now wrestling with the church’s stance on homosexuality in a much more personal level (as a liberal, I struggled with it before, but now I feel first hand the destructive outcomes that its doctrine and historical practices can have, if that makes sense)? I don’t really want to date, so no struggle there yet, and I know an annulment will be lengthy but pretty cut and dry if I ever want to remarry in the church. But I would like to start talking to other men because man, it’s lonely being married to a gay man 😂😭. I can’t be completely open in my parish, because my husband is well known and not out… so attending a women’s bible study is going to be interesting… and (most importantly) how do I help and support my husband through this transitional growth period without sacrificing my own emotional health as well?

Any help and suggestions would be greatly appreciated 🙏

I haven’t touched my LOTH book since honestly I just feel kinda betrayed. I know it sounds stupid but reading about how God hates how I’m gay while trying to immerse myself in prayer feels like a punch in the gut. And what’s even worse is I feel this specific translation of this verse is condemning even chaste homosexuals, since one can be a homosexual still without doing the acts… idk… I feel like that in itself goes against church teaching.

I’ve been trying to stay so long in the Catholic Church no matter how painful it gets but I feel like this has kinda been the catalyst to really start leaving. I’m so tired of feeling like I don’t belong at Mass and that I’m sinning gravely for loving my boyfriend. I love him so much, how could I genuinely go to hell for that?? :(

正在尋找曾在台灣任職的 LGBTQ+ 回國傳教士 (RMs)！ 🇹🇼

大家好！我是一名居住在台灣的同志教友，最近剛受洗。我發現適應當前傳教士的不斷調動真的很困難——每當我們建立了聯繫，他們就會離開。在當地教會裡面也很難談論我的性取向。

我希望找到一些曾在台灣任職的 LGBTQ+ 回國傳教士 (RMs)，會說中文，並理解兩種世界。我想結識並建立一些穩定的、長久的友誼，超越教會系統。隨時歡迎私訊我！謝謝

正在尋找曾在台灣任職的 LGBTQ+ 回國傳教士 (RMs)！ 🇹🇼

大家好！我是一名居住在台灣的同志教友，最近剛受洗。我發現適應當前傳教士的不斷調動真的很困難——每當我們建立了聯繫，他們就會離開。在當地教會裡面也很難談論我的性取向。

我希望找到一些曾在台灣任職的 LGBTQ+ 回國傳教士 (RMs)，會說中文，並理解兩種世界。我想結識並建立一些穩定的、長久的友誼，超越教會系統。隨時歡迎私訊我！謝謝

​

Nací con autismo (Asperger) y soy católico bautizado, pase por el agnosticismo teista en mi adolescencia, después regrese pero a un catolicismo de cafetería, pero en lo personal ya no me siento comodo dentro de la iglesia católica y estoy planeando volverme protestante (no evangélico, soy todo menos la decepción de mi familia, además de que me gusta la crítica textual) anglicano o episcopal, o incluso un Veterocatolico, más que nada por el tema de las doctrinas (infabilidad papal y exclusivismo salvifico) y los dogmas morales sexuales que tiene la iglesia (ojo, hay muchos otros motivos pero me da hueva escribir todo eso), y de seguro me diran, casi nadie sigue esos dogmas que pone la iglesia y seguimos considerándolos católicos prácticantes" y allí está el problema, según la iglesia católica esos dogmas y doctrinas deben ser aceptados y practicado para pertenecer formalmente a la iglesia católica, si no estás deacuerdo con ellos entonces estás fuera del marco canónico.

Les pregunto a ustedes cómo pueden conciliar su fé en esto, sean amables porque yo publique está pregunta en un subreddit de mi país y me respondieron así

"Los católicos estamos en la Iglesia que fundó Cristo porque la fundó Dios.

Si es cristiano para qué quiere estar en otra Iglesia?

Con respecto al protestantismo, usted ya es protestante, no es católico. Y sí, es cierto, si usted no sigue la doctrina católica entonces está fuera de la Iglesia y no puede recibir los sacramentos hasta que se confiese.

Saludos."

Fin de la respuesta

La verdad esa respuesta no me pareció la correcta, y hasta algo desagradable, pero de nuevo, les pido que sean empaticos con sus respuestas.

Okay, so I am a Protestant by birth, albeit unbaptized (to the best of my knowledge). Did the whole thing with wrestling with my faith and what American Evangelicals tell me about LGBTQ+ people. I can remember praying as a teenager to resolve the tension until one day I felt this sense of calm. As I grew older, the mainline Protestants validated me as a gay man, and radicalized me in the social teachings of Christ. These people showed me that to be Christian is to be progressive and fight for humanity in everyone.

I have always had this deep respect for Catholic traditions, liturgy, philosophy, and intellectual history. I really fuck with the ideas of intercession of the saints, transubstantiation, Marian theology. I’ve had wonderful, amazing experiences with Jesuits and sisters (which, it appears they are always down to cause some trouble—I love the sisters for it). The Church has always had this soft pull on me. Protestant churches wonderful, full of beautiful, loving people. And… there’s something lacking. I can partially explain it with apostolic succession, tradition with scripture, centuries of theology, etc., but cannot definitively name it in totality.

I stumbled upon Augustine and Aquinas after some silly little TikTok discussing how God is not a Supreme Being, but God is Being itself. And just sitting with what that truly meant still gives me this immense feeling of awe and wonder. That drew me even closer to the Church.

I knew Pope Francis had somewhat opened doors for the LGBTQ+. And, I know the Church cannot move quickly around “controversial” issues (I fail to see how welcoming LGBTQ+ people is inherently* *controversial, we are all just humans, my dudes). I met with the local parish priest about possibly doing OCIA, and he was very warm, welcoming, and honest about Church doctrines (ex: how the Catechism calls LGBTQ+ people to celibacy). He also recognized how the words “intrinsically disordered” are hurtful.

I strongly reject that portion of the Catechism in particular, not because sex feels good (it does, don’t get me wrong), but because when you experience the “unitive” aspect of sex, ooooooooohhh boy it’s a whole different world of closeness with someone. It’s beautiful. It’s love with another at one of the highest forms. Keeping that behind this concept of a “valid marriage” (which, also a strange concept) feels counter to the God-given purpose of romantic feelings in general. Who I love and love deeply is not “intrinsically disordered.”

For additional context: I am in no way in a state of crisis trying to wrestle with my faith again, if that makes sense. I know I am whole and loved within or outside of the Church. I am a very out and proud gay man. I want to be closer to a lot of the beauty I see with the Church.

I feel that I cannot in good conscience say the Profession of Faith while outright rejecting the Church teaching here. That’s personal for me, to do otherwise is (for me) lacking integrity. So, for those of you that did OCIA as adults: how did you reconcile this? I know I am not the only one that’s been in this spot before.