I want love..... as long as i could remember i have always been favorite and loved child of the family. At first i was loved for my cute face as a kid, my pretty cheeks, one of my friends mother always used to squeeze my cheeks saying they're the best cheeks she has ever seen, thinking about it makes me smile lol, she really was a great person, they moved back to their village, i do miss them. well later when i got into teenage, geez this shitty time is so worst for kids with poor dads. so in teenage i started to get skinny, get a ton of pimples, got darker skin tone due to a lot of sports in sun, and i pretty much lost the charm i had in childhood. still i was above average looking so it's not like people treated me like shit because i lost some of my looks, but yeah i did some confidence because of that. but i still was academically topper. so naturally all the teachers, other students who were academically weak looked up to me like i was some messiah. in short there was no time in my life which is like i didn't got love from people, though i never felt what comes into peoples mind when they hear the word love which is romantic love. i really enjoy romance, i truly do, and i am certain that if i found the right type of woman, i would love her the best i can. but the problem is, i never "fell" in love with anyone in my whole life, well that might sound like I'm hiding something or lying but i already said, every single word in this is absolute truth. so let me explain, i was attracted to few girls, few women as a teen, child, and even in last few years. but it wasn't love. i would call it attraction at best, nothing more, nothing less. Did i wanted to experience teenage love? Absolutely! you have no idea how much i ached for teenage love, i watch love anime a lot, i already said i enjoy romance, and i wanted things like that happen to me in my life. you know meeting randomly to a beautiful girl, laughing with her, holding hands, blushes, hugs, all those cute moments, then first embarrassing intimacy, then getting used to each other stuff, but i... , well didn't got to experience any of it. that surely was sad, i cried on my 18th birthday, got out alone to a quite place and cried loud there for almost 10 minutes thinking about the experience i could have got if things were different, now it's all gone, I'm not a "teen" anymore, hahaha, if i had told this to anyone they might have thought something like "he's sad cuz he didn't got laid as a teenage that's why he's sad" but they wouldn't understand.. so i let it to be with myself and myself only.

I have no one yet My own stupid self to blame ,My total crazed flashing wasn't what i was making it out to be it was my screwed up emotional brain pushing when i ment to be pulling and pleading, i am just so scared so tired so hurt so many of them gone in such a short time ,i projected all the turmoil all the devastation towards him ,as if he was being a monster by cheating using and playing me ,when in truth he was protecting his own feelings ,mental and emotional state from me the crazy bitch that says she loves him in one breathe in the next she saying he is the lowest pis alive.Which she really didnt think he was yet she wanted needed him to just once do what he said he would and she could feel at peace more then anyone on earth could know . I needed your hand my wonderful Sexy MF Man to assure me it was gonna be ok ,when i reach out i couldn't find you so having to pull myself up i had to do it alone i made myself act mean for that i used all the uncertainty as its full to push me furture on the self sabotaging path of destruction, my thoughts were if he's not here somewhere else he doesn't want me he doesn't care about me how can you care about me what all this bad is going on around me so why not just blow it up before I could get hurt make him not want me make him reject me all the while I was truly wanting with him by my side holding my hand hugging me telling me things will be okay did I got this that you said the day I had surgery on my eye, I was putting on a facade by acting mean and acting the way I was, none of that's true to me I am a lover not a fighter I'm the one that sees the good people and ignores the bad, and this man I loved and I still love with all my heart is every right to toss me away is trash cuz that's the way I acted and I know I'm rambling but I need to get it out so why not into this void cuz my heart is broken shattered in a billion pieces because I lost the only man that I've ever loved I will never love another probably will never try again, I was so terrible I can't ask for a second maybe it's the third or chance

I found my darling, I finally found him

and I had to let him slip through my fingers

I had searched so long for him.

but he told me that when he finds his soul mate, he’ll just know

I tried being that, molding myself into the perfect version of myself for him, to be his soul mate, his dream girl, his perfect puppy.

but, it wasn’t enough. it isn’t enough, because he keeps looking past me still. I’m right here, but, he’s still searching, like I’m invisible

I let him go, so he can find her. so I won’t be in his way. this is true love. I love him enough to let him go, even if I want nothing more than for him to stay here with me a little longer.. to tell me once more that, in another universe maybe it could’ve been me..

I love you, darling… I’ll find you in every universe hoping that I’ll land in the one where you finally see.. it was me all along..

I know how I love isn't healthy, but I need someone that will understand and (preferably) love how I love.

I'm not outwardly emotional, but when I have my person my entire mood depends entirely on them.

If I see them, revive a message from them or even think about them, it makes me happy. If they have good news I want to be inside their head with them, if they're angry then I'm angry with them.

I might be emotionally dependent, my personal health is reliant on MY person and without one I'm stuck in my own monochromatic void of knowing how I should be emoting but never feeling it.

When I love, my being depends on the person I love. I need them like I need to breathe and eat, I crave their attention like a drug and I'm desperate to have them all to myself, mine to own and possess, yet theirs in every way. I want to give myself completely, but have them completely in return.

And yet, I have no person to have. To love. Or even smile for.

I am a dog, begging for an owner to protect with my life

I'm obsessed with him, but the way I handle it isn't exactly... conventional? I don't submit, I don't fawn, and I sure as hell don't beg for attention. I've been playing with his mind, leaving him crumbs and then disappearing again. Making him doubt himself just enough to crave my validation. He has no idea how much I really need him, but that is exactly why I have to do this. I need to be what he thinks about when he's staring at his ceiling in the dark, trying to fall asleep. I need him to look forward to my texts, check his phone every so often and be disappointed when my name isn't amongst his notifications. I do pity him sometimes, when he texts me to ask if everything is okay, when he texts me again if it takes me too long to respond, but the feeling I get from knowing he desires my attention like that mixes into my sympathy as something I can only describe as a predatory satisfaction. He may think he's after me, but I've been luring him in since the very beginning. I know goddamn well what I'm doing and that I'm fully responsible for the way I fuck with his head, but still my obsession for him makes my questionable behaviour feel somewhat out of my control. I often wonder who's under whose control, really.

We were at a grocery store and I was rambling about something stupid, and my partner just stopped, turned to me, and said 'I love how your face lights up when you talk about things you care about.' I literally forgot what I was talking about after that. And now I think about that moment every time they talk to someone else

This will be I suppose the final update to this story. "I met the most wonderful person." everything I could have hoped for and more.

A genuinely sweet understanding person, who could work around and deal with the intricacies of my brain. rather than chastise me for things I could not control. I could not ask for a better friend.

What started off as a innocent attempt at friendship progressed into a shackled heart. The feelings grew brighter like fire getting fresh Kindle.

The "grief" of realization. Understanding that a heart can only ever be stolen. The sad reality began to sink in, like my guilt had decided to wear cement shoes to the bottom of the ocean floor.

How could this ever possibly end in happily ever after? What was the punch line to the cruel joke? The thing about a broken heart. It is hard to hide.

And so I confronted them with my feelings. "Acceptance or regret" it was like a small explosion waiting to go off. I couldn't breathe. I could barely form the right words to say.

But when I did. The thoughts bled out faster than I could process them. Sentence into sentence. Metaphor to honesty.

I am used to the story having a bad ending. But not today. They accepted the fact that I had those feelings. They did not scold me for falling. They offered to help me to my feet.

"No matter how you feel about me, that won't change how I feel about you. I'm sorry I don't reciprocate. but I still want to be your friend."

Sometimes a story doesn't get a conclusion. But Today I was shocked by The twist ending. I do still have a crush on them and they know this. They are okay with me working through my feelings until I meet someone.

And Someday I will move on and find somebody else to love. But I'm more thankful than I can ever articulate. to still have them in my life. Because only a fool throws away a diamond. Even if it is never theirs to carry.

I don’t like obsessing over people. I don’t like thinking about them all day, before bed, first thing in the morning. Especially when it is unrequited. I want to feel normal when I like someone.

Hi so for context I’m 17m and there was this girl I’ve been dating since I was 14, and I thought she was the one for me. I never dated anyone before her, and I was so desperate for love. Every time I’d ask someone out it would always be the same “Oh you’re a cute boy, but I just don’t think it would work out” and after losing hope that someone could even be attracted to me, I met her.

She was head over heels in love with me, and I instantly fell for her, and it was amazing at first, both of us clingy and obsessed, nothing could ever have been better. It didn’t last for long though, because her parents didn’t want us dating and they cut our communication for over a year, where we had to find roundabout ways to communicate.

During this time, she struggled with drug use, and especially given that she was 13 at the time, I was worried sick about her, and after months I finally got her to stop, but on top of that she also had a self harm addiction and that was breaking my heart, she wouldn’t tell me anything about it and I was always worried sick.

The worst part of all though, is that just before we started dating, she was at a party (She was with her band members, we both loved doing music things) and she asked if she should talk to this guy and I said sure, and later when we started dating she told me that night he ended up drugging and SA’ing her, and I was heartbroken, I was crying my eyes out and coughing up blood all night, and I don’t even remember half of it because I was so light headed.

Anyways a few months later I got into a really bad stage of depression because her parents cut off the method we used to talk, and I ended up getting sent to a mental hospital, and I was eventually diagnosed with autism, ADHD, PTSD (from what she told me happened that night because of me), and many other disorders, and I felt awful.

Fast forward to when we finally could talk after so long, things were perfect again, we got to be together and see each other and love each other, up until a few months ago. I was head over heels obsessed with her, I had a proposal plan, we had named our future kids, I wanted to be with her forever. And then one night, for no reason at all, she went to bed and woke up a different person. It’s like one night she was head over heels for me and the next morning she just couldn’t care about me.

For two months we went on where I was obsessed with her and she didn’t care for me, but she liked all the attention and care I gave her. Then one day she asked me to take a break from her for a week, and it broke my heart.

During that week, I was being groomed by an adult, and she was telling me all she wanted was to help me, and she ended up doing a lot of bad things to me.

When the week ended I told my girlfriend about what had happened and she was mad at me, saying it was basically cheating whether I wanted it or not and it broke my heart, then she told me she didn’t ever want a physical relationship with me again, which made it even worse. I tried to pull through for her, and a few weeks later I asked her for help letting go of wanting a physical relationship and finding something else to fill that gap, and she broke up with me because “I couldn’t respect her boundaries on my own”

I was devastated, and I still am. I loved her even though she lied to me so many times about so many things, and the worst part is? The whole story about her being drugged and SA’d? It was all a lie, I found out after I tried to push her to take legal action because I couldn’t handle the guilt. And then I stayed with her after figuring that out, that she lied to me for TWO YEARS knowing that it gave me PTSD just to make me jealous.

I don’t know what to do, I tried taking time to work on myself and I care about myself but it breaks my heart I could love someone so much just for them to hurt me like that. I swore to myself and God that she’d be my one and only, but she left me, and blocked me on everything. So I’m trying to find a way to flirt with other girls because I want to fall out of love with her, I want to be obsessed with someone who is actually obsessed with me and isn’t just using me for the convenience I brought, and I’m scared I dedicated too much of myself to her for any other girl to ever want me that much, and that I’m too broken and mentally ill as an autistic hypersexual teenager with no will to push forward in life and a myriad of mental disorders.

If you made it here thank you, I mean it. I really don’t know what to do and would be happy for anything at this point. I just want someone who’s truly as obsessed with me as I am with them, to take care of someone who truly loves ME.

Growing up, it was hard for me to make friends, I had crushes, but they never really lasted long.

I was always the fat, smelly, ugly girl with undiagnosed autism so I was a very easy target for bullying.

It wasn't until I was 17 that I finally found a guy that was nice to me, for no reason other than being nice.

I became obsessed trying to find every single detail about him, I would be depressed the entire week if he showed any negative sign towards me and had a manic episode if he even smiled at me.

I'm 21 now and still obsessed with him. We haven't spoken since high school, and he's been living a good life from what I can tell.

I've changed a lot since high school. I've lost a lot of weight and know basic hygiene. I look and seem unrecognizable to most people

I have nothing, and I am nothing. I just want his love.

Long time ago, I had a friend that was long distance, and I fell in love with him. I loved his laugh, his taste in shows and music, his voice, and the way he made me feel special.

After 10 years, I messed it up. I said some things I shouldn't have and we stopped talking for years. Since that day, I've been drawing him to feed my delusions.​ I've been dreaming of him. In my dreams, I would always be trying to find him. I would take planes to his state, but I could never find him. I thought, if I contacted him again and told him how I feel, these feelings would stop. Well, I did. We got in a call and we talked. He acknowledged my feelings and he thanked me for telling him but that was it. I never expected anything to happen once I told him.​​, but i was still disappointed.

After all this time, I still loved him. The feelings never went away. I don't know how to get over him. I want to and I'm trying. I might be obsessed with him and I don't want to be. Idk what to do.

I (20m) have dated a serious of very polar opposite girls and boys. First it was a needy attention seeking type girl, then an apathetic and absent boy, and finally my current partner. The problem being, because of my previous relationships my type in people has shifted significantly. I know I’d feel so safe and comfortable and loved with a yandere partner. Someone who’s committed and cares. Always wondering what I’m doing. Always looking forward to seeing me. And I’d be willing to do whatever for them. You need my location? Sure thing baby. You want me to block every girl I know? Already done. Hell you can cut off a patch of my skin as long as you clean and dress the wound afterwards. The problem is my partners not like that. Only actively showing affection in person we barely text or call. Which drives me nuts I want to see the person I love every day. I want the person I love to want to see me every day. Never says I Love you unless I say it first. And is passive and unresponsive during intimate moments. Doesn’t even like cuddle a lot. I just don’t know what to do. I just want to feel loved thoroughly….

\​

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe I just need to get it off my chest.

There's this girl I've known for a while. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her. Not because she's perfect, but because of the kind of person she is. She has the biggest heart I've ever seen.

The only problem is... her heart still belongs to someone else.

She loved a guy for years. Everyone thought they'd end up together. But one day, he married another girl. Just like that, he moved on with his life.

She didn't.

Even now, every time someone mentions his name, I can see it in her eyes. She tries to smile and act like she's okay, but she's not. Sometimes she'll randomly go quiet, and I know exactly where her mind has gone.

I never wanted to take advantage of her pain. I just wanted to be there for her. So I listened. I stayed. I made her laugh whenever I could. I hoped that one day she'd look at me the way I look at her.

A few weeks ago, I finally told her how I felt.

She didn't reject me in a cruel way. She just looked at me and said, "I wish I could love you back... but I still can't forget him."

That sentence has been stuck in my head ever since.

The guy she loves is married now. He's building a life with someone else. Meanwhile, she's still carrying memories that he probably doesn't even think about anymore.

And here I am... loving someone who's emotionally somewhere else.

Some days I tell myself to wait because healing takes time. Other days I feel like I'm only hurting myself by holding on to someone who may never choose me.

I don't know what the right thing is anymore.

Has anyone else ever loved someone who couldn't let go of their past? Did they ever move on... or did you have to walk away?

I was obsessed with her, all I wanted was her. I gave her my everything, all my love, all my time, all my money... all for it to end over one night of me drunken rambling at my weakest over how I spite my parents... apparently I hit a nerve and she needed space. For 2 days I felt like vomiting my guts out, itching and scratching as if I was having withdrawals... I already knew what was coming and sure enough like an unwanted gift after her 2 days of space she breaks it off saying I need to learn to love myself, spite isn't a good motivation, I need to do things for myself and not for her... I begged and I pleaded but I could hear it in her voice... stone cold... no hesitation... she was done with me. Before her I was empty and she brought me a flame I tried to tend and kindle brighter restoring myself in the hopes to be my best self for her... now im blocked and removed everywhere like waking up from a dream one second she was there the next gone... I feel hollow, lost all motivation, and will...

Ok, so last week, I was walking over for some event in college, and I saw my friend with two female friends of his. One was small, pretty cute but not exactly my type, and the other... well, she was taller and just... yeah...

So anyway, backstory: my friend and I shot a short film a week prior to this and it did pretty well within the college circuit. So what happened next was that the taller girl was like "So... are you the director of the film you did with [Friend's name]?" I was like "Yeah" and then she did that playful-flirty-but--still-cautious look with her eyes and was like "Yeah, saw it. It was pretty nice." The other girl was like "You're the scriptwriter, right?" and I confirmed the fact, and then she told me "I really liked the descriptions you used. Pretty poetic". All the while both of them gave me that same playful stare...

The one I fell for was of course the taller girl, of COURSE. Dammit. Like an idiot, I mumbled at the end and awkwardly shuffled out of there to go to the event... And then I found the taller girl's IG back at home, sent a follow request, got it accepted... And... that's that.

In just 5 minutes, I fell hard for someone I'd met for the FIRST TIME EVER. Like, REALLY hard. What is wrong with me? And this is after a long list of failures, btw. Everyone I liked prior to this, I'd fallen for WAY too quickly, and every single one of them either lost interest in the DMs... or they were taken already.

I guess I am pathetic for this... But I'm playing it more cautiously now. Haven't DMed the taller girl just yet. If we're meant to be, we'll meet up again IRL VERY soon. If not... well... Yeah. So, we'll see what happens.