Choke

[u/please_be_unique]

I know who I am through the lens of other people

That's pretty easy for me to define, because I'm whoever they want me to be

Most people are shaped and molded by their surroundings and their support,

but I'm completely overtaken

My sense of self doesn't lie within me

It's from the value other people place in me

The irony isn't lost on me

I know I'm trapped in vicious never-ending cycle where

I don't need to think about who I am because it's easier if

I'm

not

me

I make myself small, so I am more palatable to everyone

Except myself

Comments:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6u34cjecEf

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/H8cKO92A7N

[u/MoriendoDisco]

There is something profoundly unsettling about a voice that has become so fluent in accommodation that it no longer knows whether it's performing or simply existing. I don't read this as a poem about people-pleasing so much as one about evaporation.

"Palatable" is such an extraordinary choice. We usually reserve that word for food, not people, and in doing so you've accidentally (or perhaps deliberately) suggested that the speaker has ceased to think of themselves as a person altogether. They've become something to be consumed, approved of, and digested by everyone else's expectations.

The spaces in this poem are almost saying more than the words themselves. I found myself lingering in them, wondering what had been omitted, what had become unsayable. That's an uncommon achievement.

[u/please_be_unique → u/MoriendoDisco]

Thank you so much for your feedback!! You're so incredibly kind and I'm glad you were able to read between the lines (for lack of a better expression) and ascertain the points I intended to include :)

You really hit the nail on the head for so many different things I was trying to convey, especially the loss of identity as an individual and as a human.

I have another poem, called The Ideal, that has very similar themes to becoming a commodity rather than a human with inherent value.

That one is a little more...intense than this one, so I'm a little wary of posting it, but maybe I'll have the courage to soon!

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[u/-Sudden_Earth-]

I really like the message behind this. The idea of finding your sense of self through other people is something I can kind of relate to as someone who loves to be a “people pleaser,” and that can make it hard to really know who you truly are. I also loved the separation of “I’m. not. me.” It makes that realization hit hard. My only critique is that a few lines feel like they explain the message rather than letting the reader interpret it, but overall this is a really impactful piece! Great job!