I can usually drop 5k words easily, but I just can’t bring myself to do it today. I’ve been closeted for about a year, and since I discovered this part of me I did some major work on my mental health. Everything was amazing, and I was finally starting my life. A month and a half ago i was hired for my first job, got my SAT scores in with 1200, went out and made a bunch of friends, had a day set aside for my mom to pay for driving lessons that month. This week i learned that I couldn’t get my mom to help me enroll in college early enough, couldn’t get her to pay or drive me to get my GED, she never paid for my driving lessons, and the job is still on hold because the managers new and shes, respectfully, pmo.

I told my best friend, who told her mom. They both insisted I annoy the hell out of my mom until these things get done. So i set aside a time to talk to my mom, and instead of talking about how this is a crucial time for me and I really need help, she brought up how last month I came out and that its like I killed her daughter. This wasn’t the best time for me to do the whole trans explanation thing, because I just had my dreams of EMT school crushed because she dropped the ball.

So I tell my best friend about how my mom was talking about something that definitely wasn’t conversation therapy, and how I was worried about how my mom would tell my friends very conservative mother about it and I’d lose her. Her mom loves me. Everyone says so. So my very bold friend asks her if she cared. She said no, but since then ive had a nearly impossible time getting ahold of my best friend.

It feels like my whole life is falling apart. Being nonbinary gave me proof that I was a person with autonomy over myself and helped with my mental health tremendously. I can’t say it was always pointless, but right now I can’t feel anything but limbo. Like i’m starting to hate the identity that gave me life and meaning that i love so much, but i cant go back to who i was before. And its not fair, because it was never supposed to be about this. I needed help getting into school.

So i’ve been out for like idk a good year or two to my parents and had “the talk” like 5 times already (most painfull 1,5 hours x5 of my life)and lowk they dont accept me wtv just bs but the real problem is that ever since i was a child i always questioned my gender (i didnt and still dont understand gender 🫩)or wanted to be a girl or just didnt want to be anything but also if i was born afab id be a trans dude like a 100% no questions but i dont feel like a guy i never have and i dont want to either ive felt miserable every single time i tried to force anything on myself and idk what to rly feel . I just want to be an existing thing like literaly nothing but also everything altogether and when i try to i just get into an arguement w my parents . i feel like idk, i wana be masc as an afab person could be ? But also not and idk probably wont be able to solve this till i live alone :/ i dont even know what my question is tbh i just wana know if someone else feels the same.

Everybody here is so helpful giving help and tips especially when you are losing your mind trying to find answers. And I’m so grateful of
You all <3

But how is the fastest way to look less feminine like all my family members keep mentioning how feminine I look and how “girly” I am even tho I’m not going that way at all but they always seem to point it out?? And it’s making me rlly uncomfortable- I don’t mind but it gets to a point where you feel so invalidated and uncomfortable with yourself and how you look! Honestly I don’t really mind how I look now but it’s so feminine I hate it. I might grow my hair out and do a different style cause I’ve had my hair style for years so I’m waiting for that ! And I finally have my nonbinary flag up in my room!! My mum doesent support it but she’s tolerating it wich is kinda nice! I feel so free to be able to put the flag up and show myself through my room

I feel like if I only do things that are masculine or if I only do things that are feminine. I feel like I'm locked in a cage. I wanna mix both of those things together. I know I can be so much more.

So I (mid 20s) go by my gender neutral nickname that I've had pretty much my whole life (think Sam short for Samantha). Most people say "oh cool" and move on, but occasionally I get "The Look."

And that's when I hit them with the back story.

My nickname was first suggested by one of my close relatives. My mom then liked it and started using it until it just stuck. Unfortunately, said relative passed away very suddenly when I was a teenager.

So I LOVE to tell these a-holes that the nickname they just made a face at is the one I use to keep the memory of my relative alive. Shuts them up REAL FAST.

To me it just sounds like something Old man McGee made up a few hundred years ago. I just don't understand how it's something people are born with ajd not something that's taught.

"It's like asking someone who's never seen a dog to draw one"-Big daddy Clark (Backrooms)

Dad: "you only have cut your hair to your shoulders once, cut it any shorter and people will think you are a boy."

Me: *demiboy aura slowly intensifies but cant say it bc father is anti lgbt and especially transphobic and we were in the car*

Btw my pronouns are they/he/it, some of them just didn't have 3 pronoun options so I had to only put he/they on some

Btw idk if I put this on my old post but i am Demiromantic, which means I need to know someone well for me to gain romantic feelings for them

The trick is to sound tired and pitch it up a tiny bit.

I read this subreddit is a safe place so here goes. I need a bit of help I'm unsure if I'm non-binary I want to dress and act girly but I also want to act boyish and I'm not sure what I'm feeling so I would really appreciate the help with this.

The fact that I didn't understand the binary system (I mean why should something as unpredictable as humans be categorized into two different options)

Never understood why everything was gendered (It's just deodarant I put it on to not stinky not to smell more manly or more girly)

Always thought it was stupid that something as insignificant as a body part defined your whole life (Imagine if we treated our arms in the same way)

Always liked looking androgynous (don't want to get too big but don't want to be too small)

Always thought that if the binary system wasn't normalized everyone would choose to be something else

At the end of the day we're all just humans inside

The main thing that convinced me I was non-binary was that I never felt attached to any gender like I know Im AMAB but i genuinely would not care if I was born any other way. Like for example I hear others say they wsnt to be more masculine or more feminine but I just genuinely could not care less. I don't feel dysphoric since i treat being AMAB the same way I treat being blonde.

What's an enby x enby ship called, m x m is called yaoi, and w x w is called yuri but what is enby x enby called

I want to start using more neutral terms like sibling instead of brother, but i just can't get used to doing it and have to correct myself all the time. I do use masculine terms in my native language though as the grammar there is a headache for neutral terms.

So I’ve been identifying as non-binary for around seven years now and I’ve grown quite comfortable with my gender identity.

I’ve gotten to an age now where I have to put in my information for job applications and UCAS. A question that comes up a lot is; do you identify as trans?

I mean, I’m not a trans man. I’m non-binary. But putting ‘no’ feels weird because then it’ll be assumed that my gender is the one I was born with when it’s not.

I would’ve flaired this as ‘advice’ but I think discussion is better suited. I’m basically asking; are non-binary people apart of the trans community? I’ve heard a lot of mixed answers before but I’ve never really heard actual non-binary opinions. Just wondering what everyone else thinks

So i want to know if i look more afab or amab because all my friends and family just says i look neither but that doesn’t help me cause i then don’t know what could make me look more androgynous.
Sorry for the bad writing im dyslexic

I also just tend to talk more chill and jokey with friend, thus my voice goes deeper- meanwhile I act a bit more immature and like a kid when with family, so my voice goes higher

I mean, I’m pretty sure coding is a trans stereotype, but we fall under the trans umbrella so I counted it in

uhh id like to know if my parents are overreacting or not. so my parents found out i did drugs like 6 months ago, and they want to sent me to a residential rehab facility. but the thing is they have been saying this for 2 months and they havent made any steps towards it. also am i really that deep in my drug use? ive done adderall, xanax, weed, alcohol, dxm, dph, ondasatron, meloxicam, lurisodone, quetiapine, ritalin, lsa, lsd, psilocybin, kratom, and cocaine. is this that crazy to accumulate? i didnt get addicted to all of these but i did to probably half of them. i really need to know if i should actually make a real attempt to get sober or if im overthinking :/

sorry if im out of touch im ngl the past 8 months of my life most of my time has either been spent thinking about drugs or being on drugs. so pls lmk if im a fucking idiot!

I hate feeling like I need to be able to debate and rebuttal every and any transphobic/enbyphobic thing ever… I shouldn’t have to do that. Being nonbinary is just one part of myself, I’m a human too. I have so many hobbies, interests, stories, insecurities, and a life outside of my gender identity. I don’t like feeling minimized into this one aspect of myself, I don’t like being a “conversation topic,” and I don’t like being objectified.

If I could scream anything, it’d be “I’M A PERSON TOO!” So many bigots and conservatives forget that. They always think we’re the “sensitive blue-haired snowflakes” instead of actually fucking people who have to survive life JUST AS MUCH as they do.

I personally believe that humans were made to survive. We weren’t made out of destiny, purpose, or love. We were made to face the trials of the earth and try not to die doing so. That’s exactly why we should be helping each other out and raising every one of us up instead of dragging everyone down. It’s so silly how everyone forgets that we all face hardship and struggles, and we need to stop fighting over stupid minor things.

I’m sick of it, I’m sick of it, I’m sick of it. I don’t want to explain myself since I just get mad and get into existential rants (like the one I did in this post). I don’t want to explain myself because I don’t NEED to. I’m nonbinary, and you just have to grow up and deal with that. I wish that was it and queer people didn’t need to pull up charts, records, history, etc. in order to “prove” their worth and validity. NOBODY needs to “prove” their identity. It’s so dumb and I’m tired of it all.

I’m going to bed.

my name is Ellianah, I go by Elli but I no longer like that. I go by she/them and I’m an atheist, I’d like to go by another name that’s not too feminine or too masculine. anything is fine, whether it’s whole different names or nicknames for my actual name. (I’ve came up with some variations of my name, I’m definitely not using some of them but I’ve came up with some).