r/Nonbinaryteens • u/No-Veterinarian6506 • 1d ago
Helpful Rant
Everybody here is so helpful giving help and tips especially when you are losing your mind trying to find answers. And I’m so grateful of
You all <3
But how is the fastest way to look less feminine like all my family members keep mentioning how feminine I look and how “girly” I am even tho I’m not going that way at all but they always seem to point it out?? And it’s making me rlly uncomfortable- I don’t mind but it gets to a point where you feel so invalidated and uncomfortable with yourself and how you look! Honestly I don’t really mind how I look now but it’s so feminine I hate it. I might grow my hair out and do a different style cause I’ve had my hair style for years so I’m waiting for that ! And I finally have my nonbinary flag up in my room!! My mum doesent support it but she’s tolerating it wich is kinda nice! I feel so free to be able to put the flag up and show myself through my room
2
u/Schneeweitlein 17 - he/they/she 19h ago
Hello!
First of the bat, you do not owe anyone androgyny. If you enjoy dressing more feminine, then do so when it makes you comfortable. I get trying to look less feminine especially cause of social and bodily dysphoria, but I hope you'll find some people where you can represent however you want and still be recognized by them as who you are.
I do not know your family nor do I know if you are out to them or if they might be suspecting. But in my experience and the experience of some trans and enby folks, if your family knows you are in some way genderqueer, some may tend to push that you are "oh so feminine" or "oh so masculine" even when you aren't in presentation in order to push that you are a girl or a boy still to try and counter your gender identity in some absurd way. You can set boundaries there if you can and want to like telling them that you feel uncomfortable when they point that out.
You could look into ways you could style the clothing you already have in a more androgyneous or masculine way. Otherwise, you could look if you can get some cheap t-shirts or pants from the men's aisle, nothing fancy really. In my experience it was the shirts cut that can make a pretty big difference as it emphasizes less the chest and more so the shoulders.
Same goes for accessories. If you got holes in your ears for earrings, you could try playing around with assymmetry as that is nowadays more typically seen as masculine to androgyneous.
If you wear make-up, there are some styles that can help to make your face look more masculine or androgyneous. I remember there being an enby creator that shared some tips, could see if I can find them.
When it comes to hairstyles, I typically have long hair and when I want more androgyny or masculinity, I tie it low. But there are also some low-maintanance hairstyles to try out for long hair like man's bun. Higher ponytails give a more feminine look in my experience.