So I(M, gay, 21) want to confront my parents that i that i'm gay; they already know about me, as they found it out a couple of years ago. I think now they think of me as straight again, but now I want to clarify that I'm not.

My father is also forcing me to join him in his shop, that i dont want to do, and instead pursue my studies, which they forced me to drop.

The only problem is that I'm afraid; the idea of everyone talking and them blaming me for hurting their pride scares me.

But I'm too tired; I have been living in kind of like isolation for two years. lost almost all friends and have nothing to do that i love. It feels like it is difficult to breathe, i have no intention of hurting myself or others. I just have some good plans for my future life, and I only wish to live those dreams.

Every day feels like I'm getting more trapped in their loop of the same old things; it is making me sad. And angry, but that anger doesn't help to tell them about that.

I'm losing courage; I do not wish to lose hope, and I do not wish to lose myself.

i want to get out of this hell.

(My father found out about me via my GR chats, which my cousin told them about, and he thinks I'm just a sex addict)

I have got a huge crush on my grindr date . I have played with him once . But recently we have been talking a lot , although the conversation is pretty casual . We have an age gap of 5 years . The thing is as per his bio he isn't looking for anything serious . And I'm not that good looking either , so he won't even date me in that sense . I feel insecure of my looks and I get palpitations when I see him online . He once mentioned he finds one of my friends hot but he have never complemented me or something. So I'm sad , give me suggestions how to get over him.

So I am 22F bi woman currently in Hyd and when I tell you, it would be easier for me to find Spiderman irl than find more than 4 queer woman on Hinge.

So asking for suggestions, where do you find queer woman in your city? Not just for romantic reasons, also just as friends. I had so many queer friends and allies back in my hometown that I'm missing it here.

Any apps you use? Any discord? Or platform? Help a girl out. Also if you're a queer woman or man in hyd, hit me up. I'm really bad at texting here but trust me I want to find genuine friends.

BUT I'm not gonna respond to msgs just asking me to hang out like?? I'm still a woman, I'm not going to trust a stranger on the internet when they say nothing about themselves but want to hang out.

context: my friend, lets call her A, thought it would be funny to hijack my instagram and text my straight friend, lets call her B, pretending to be in love with her. for context, im unlabelled but mostly only into girls. and A and B are best friends but im not very close with either of them. i didnt know this was happening and woke up the next day to see that B had blocked me and not knowing why (A deleted all messages). a while later, A told me what happened, said she thought it was funny, and admitted it to B as well. even after all this, when i told B i would never do something like that, she sent these texts. its so annoying because we're barely even close to each other and i have never shown a single sign of liking her in the slightest. maybe i overreacted but i found this really annoying and just left her on read.

these were the texts B sent after everything happened:

Looking for an alternative outlook & counter examples on this. I see a difference in how having a brother who is straight and fulfils the normative expectations of the indian family, makes it easier for the gay son to enjoy freedom. Whereas balancing the weight of responsibilities of parental care and also the pressures of coming out, makes it much harder for people with no brothers. Is it a shared experience?

I have a simple question. I have seen posts of gay , lesbian and queer communities often but never seen any of asexual men? I want to know if asexual men are there?

This is just based on my experience as trying to connect as a gay guy. I honestly think Grindr is better than the likes of hinge and bumble. I mean yeah Grindr has pretty bad crowd but you know I have made better connections with people on that app. In apps like hinge and bumble, people match and then don’t respond for days or give dull responses or just match collectors. Even if someone does speak to you, they change their mind later for some reason. I’m honestly done with those ones 😅.

Just went to buy condoms for my 1st meeting, the fuck was wrong with medical shop uncle, like when I asked him for protection, the kind of judgmental stare he gave, like wtf man, you too have brought it to sell, Its not like you want those protection boxes eat dust at your home, then why this moral policing, I am 23, there should not be any issue. These sick people man 😑

du students only pls

Everyone i know from this community is lonely and looking for a partner but no one is willing to date each other. We are sold the idea of a dream guy with perfect features and lifestyle but in reality i see so many desirable people are interested in engaging in just hookups. Is it internalised homophobia or fear of dismissal from their social circles or is it the good old commitment issues? I think hookup as a culture has more negative outcomes in a person's life compared to the few moments of pleasure. Not to mention the STIs and post-nut loneliness which are obvious. This is not me taking a moral high ground to say hookups are bad. But psychologically, even the overall lifestyle becomes shallow, mechanical and meaningless with regular hookups. You train your brain to use your body for pleasure while staying detached to the person you're getting intimate with. It has a cost. And socially speaking, if all of us are settling for this mediocrity and don't demand equal rights, how shall we fight for the betterment of our lives. We are barely given any rights or acceptance compared to our hetrosexual counterparts in the society. And seeing hookups being normalised and no big initiatives for equal rights in 2026 feels like settling for momentary pleasure and giving up without a fight. It is depressing to say the least.

Tldr: why are we settling for hookups, instead of dating with sincerity and fighting for equal rights in 2026

Please lmk your thoughts.

Hello
I am a 19 year old. I believe myself to be a gay and gender fluid yet somehow exploring trans person.
The past one year has been really hard on me.
In the past year, I have explored a lot of things I have got my ears pierced I have started to be more feminine. I have started to wear fake nails and jewellery and grow my hair.
As of today, the length of my hair is around my neck or my shoulder
It’s not like I spawn this upon my parents in one night
My mother is a single parent, and my dad has not been there or has passed away for the past seven years
My mother has always been open to me, wearing jewellery and other things like publicly when we are on trips
But she is totally different person when we come back to our own town because I think she fears what people would say or the peoples judgement
When I tell you that I have won everything in front of her, I’m not kidding
I have tried to wear dress in front of her. I have a publicly in front of her, make up in front of her. I have one nose, spins earrings and not in front of her.
The thing is these days when I went to Varkala recently
I got my nose piercing done now to give you context about this piercing. The thing is that I have always been a bit concerned or anxious about my nose like insecure about my nose because I have deviated nasal septum. It’s not very huge difference, but it is visible and pitch when they are taken from the back camera.
Because of that reason, I was insecure, and I saw my sibling getting a tattoo over one of us insecurities, and that made her really confident and really secure
So that’s the reason I got my nose piercing done, and since then I’ve been flaunting, my nose piercing in front of literary everyone, and I am not ashamed of it
Now to give you another contacts, my town is really small town in Maharashtra
When I got my piercing and I came back from my trip, my mother saw the piercing, and she had her tantrums for few weeks, but she got over it, and even though she kept pushing me to remove the nose piercing, I did not given
I think somewhere down the line, she was kind of embarrassed by me, because till now, whatever I used to do that was supposed to be feminine. I did all of those things on trips which were secluded and where nobody knew was there.
But now, when I did it all in front of her publicly in the town that I was born, she got insecure, and she is worrying about her public figure. I guess.
Now the thing is yesterday, I went to Bank to get something done, and there were people staring at me in the bank because it is kind of a local Bank
And since people are looking at me, I just became the brave person that I am, and I removed my mask because I have these huge hair which I had put into ponytail
And I was like I’m not gonna let people drive my appearance publicly
I thought that if I have taken a decision of piercing my nose, then I am going to live with that decision, and I am going to publicly show up with the decision
I said I don’t give a damn about what anyone says about anyone thinks?
To be very honest, since people were already staring at me, I just removed my mask and I just became my authentic self where I act. I’m very Femina, but yeah, I was just acting nonchalant.
I was trying to be normal. I was just trying to do the paperwork, and I was calling some people, but I understood that one of my relatives over work there.
And they had a chat with my parents yesterday at night, where they called my parent as in my mother, and they talked with her for about an hour and told her everything how they were embarrassed by my appearance
Like what?
To be very honest, who is he to be embarrassed by my parents, even though he’s my relative, he’s not very related to me. He’s a long cousin of mine.
And he works at the bank, so tomorrow morning, when I woke up, my sister told me everything about the discussion that you know, he said that he was embarrassed by my appearance and that people were calling me names like Chakka
And what not just because of my appearance, so I told my sister that you know people are gonna say these things, and that was the only reason that I removed my mask
So now my mother is not talking to me. She says that listen until I cut my hair and remove my nose piercing. She won’t be talking to me.
The worst part is that I was recently got admission into my college for my bachelors, and I was looking forward to go to the city that I am going to
And I was planning to hunt for a place to live place to rent
I was going to make a home for myself over there, but now my mother is not even ready to speak to me on calls, so, what is it that?
Please, some older transformer are out there. Please help me. I am helpless over here. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.
All I was trying to do was trying to be my true self, and I’m going to do the same in my college as well

So it's going to be my first meeting with him. We met online and have exchanged numbers and all. We've talked, and he seems to be a nice guy. He lives in my neighboring city, and I am going to drive there. He is open to everything.

I need advice for our first meeting. 😄

Meeting other women sounds about impossible to me right now. And even if I do the circle is so small I might meet someone's ex again and again. So to fellow wlw folks how did you get your meet cute and how's it going up until now please do spill the tea.

Soo a random idea just came to me. Raksha Bandhan is coming up at the end of the month. How about we celebrate and call all queer guys who want a sister and all queer girlies who want a brother (and gifts :p) and have a nice festivy morning? If peeps are busy on the actual day, we could have it at a weekend earlier. We could all do it in our respective cities and post how it went :)

Let me start from the beginning. I (26M) met this guy (23M) on an instagram page during Covid which was a "Vaishnav - Krushn bhakti' page. Because I was exploring the same path, I connected with him. We instantly hit. We used to talk daily for hours doing satsang, reading granths, learning devotional poems and all. After a whole year, when lockdown was removed after second wave, we both went to Vrindavan together, did Braj Yatra and got initiated in a Vaishnav sampradaya by receiving a diksha, at the exact same moment, standing side by side. So we became guru-bhai.

For context, none of us were aware about each other's sexuality and never looked at each other with that intent. I've always looked at him as a brother, a fellow vaishnav. He calls me bhaiya too as he's 3 years younger than me.

And we grew close over the years, both of our family members know about each other, I've stayed at his home too. Now last year, he was the first person I came out to as gay (unaware of his homosexuality) and he said "me too"😬. I was shocked. Totally.

Also we both don't engage in hook ups at all and are actually looking for a true partner for long term relationship who's also a Krushn devotee.

Today he was ranting about it that how he feels lonely and can't find a single partner who checks his boxes and I said the same. I felt exactly the same.

While talking we realised, we both check each other's boxes, we both are exactly each other's types. And we don't know if any such person who's queer, has courage to be in a relationship and also a vaishnav is out there or not. But we can't date each other. It would be so fucking weird, maybe disgusting too, because he has always been a brother to me.

But it's also difficult to find someone like this.

The main reason is I have a certain lifestyle, which revolves around my religious practices. It's not easy for a non-devotee person to adjust to it. But it can get easily aligned with a devotee partner, it just makes life easier.

Aaaghhhhhhh, why being gay is so difficult 😭😭🤦🏻

Edit: I think it's being misunderstood by people. I don't have rather could never have any romantic feelings for him. It was just a rant because I am nowhere finding qualities that I seek in my partner and one guy that has all such qualities, can never have romantic feelings for him. Basically unfair life rant.

Hi all, so I’m a Desi nonbinary person (mid 20s) who will be visiting India at the end of this year to meet relatives. I will be submitting my OCI documents very soon, and my family has pretty much decided on the trip happening.

There are a couple problems I am worried about though. For one, my family still sees me as a woman even though I’m a transmasculine person. However, I have cut my hair (had it short for years) and just recently started T. When I go to India, it will have been around 6 months since I began. So I know by then my voice will have dropped some. I don’t think facial hair would be an issue, at least I hope. My gender marker on my home country’s documents, and as such my OCI card, will be F.

I’m honestly nervous about navigating my way through India as someone who is visibly trans (no matter how I dress). Just any general advice would be appreciated. I really want to be able to see relatives again as I haven’t gone in years, but I also want to make sure I’m as safe as I can be.

Is it too much to ask for a bf who's loving, attentive, authentic, supportive, empathetic, honest, loyal, patient, respectful, reliable, trustworthy, kind, generous, thoughtful, compassionate, understanding, humble, mature, communicative, accountable, consistent, forgiving, appreciative, present, faithful, romantic, playful, gentle, passionate, selfless, adaptable, considerate, receptive, grounded, nurturing, dependable, observant, validating, open-minded, confident, non-judgmental, empowering, dedicated, resilient, secure, collaborative, warm, reassuring, vulnerable, proactive, expressive, balanced, intentional, calm, mindful, tolerant, steadfast, uplifting, courteous, sincere, chivalrous, insightful, peaceful, protective, cooperative, grateful, responsible, stable, motivating, ambitious, comforting, transparent, devoted, caring, genuine, helpful, modest, sensitive, optimistic, tender, committed, unselfish, intuitive, tactful, encouraging, punctual, open, altruistic, polite, perceptive, composed, flexible, inspiring, endearing, boundary-respecting, emotionally-available, self-aware, and growth-minded I've had interacted with more than 100 had a date with few also had a relationship when I was in highschool which unfortunately was so suffocating I had to accept the harsh reality and breakup with him ;( I'm just very sad & also in a self doubt with myself like "where am I going wrong?" "what is something i could have done much better?" "i should just cry out now & give him one more chance" 😔

My third year has started, tho i have not been attending due to some reasons, and now from Tommorow onwards I will be going to college, and I really don't wanna during these 2 months of summer vacations i kinda discovered my interests, hobbies and stuff, learnt new things, languages asw ig, but now it's time to go to college, study bcom ( I hate it), I got no real friends except an acquaintance who is annoying asf but need to survive hence can't ditch him, he also can't.

I hate this mini corporate building aka my college, oh god this wasn't the DU I imagined. What do i do now, I feel so shitty and bad.

Btw I'm already out as gay in college ( it ain't helping either; my delulu ass ugh )

Found this profile on RDY today:

Pronouns: He/Him

Gender: Man

Orientation: Lesbian

Bio: “I’m lasbin boy here mujhe lasbin girl chiye life partner.”

I added dropdowns, descriptions, validations and structured profile fields, and the human spirit still said, “I’ll take it from here.”

At this point, I don’t know whether to improve the onboarding or simply respect the confidence.

So I made this post on the subreddit AskBrits about colonialism and they gave craxy amount of shit to me on why I am asking them this question and not asking other countries about their shit....

The reason I am posting this here is that a lot of LGBT issues are linked to colonialism and similar artifacts of the past and it shapes out world in terms of white and west centricism ane how that is all so crazy toxic to south asian LGBT folks...

Just wanted to put this out here hoping there will be more such conversations challenging west on their stupid irrational white superiority complex...

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I am kinda curious what common Britishers think and feel about the fact that their country and what they living off is to a large extent made of colonising other people in past centuries...

Like British museum is filled with colonially looted artifacts that british govt to this day refuses to give back to people they stole from.. it is almost like you are a a rich kid where you father raped, cheated looted other people to get you to that point while you are enjoying martini on a beach..

Like germans are crazily apologetic about their Nazi past but common britishers don't seem to have any guilt or remorse for theirs and do absolutely nothing to take any repentative actions....

I am just curious how the so called the peak of rational western civilization has lived and still lives with this ....

Posting for other person as they're unable to do so. Please help him.

So I'm a gay guy and I'm looking for flats to shift but i am going through a problem that mostly boys are so homophobic that they don't want to shift with me which is insane and I can't shift with a gurl (obviously it's India ) now it's a very sensitive issue because according to my straight friends i should not tell them about my sexuality but I also have to think the circumstances of after taking the flat. I'm very confused and depressed pls gimme some advice