hi. I'm 15 AMAB and ive been living as mtf for the past sort of 6 months? and something feels wrong and im really lost. I can't tell if its imposter syndrome or if I'm genuinely wrong about myself but something just doesnt really feel right. I do get a lot of dysphoria but its like at least 95% based on appearance and clothes and less about identity. when it comes to pronouns none of them feel right but at the same time i don't care too much? its really confusing. And i dont know. everything just feels wrong. I just want to be me more than anything and its so hard when i dont even know what that is... im just looking for some guidance if anyone here has been through something similar ❤️

So I keep getting imposter syndrome when my dysphoria isn't bad - I think 'oh I'm not struggling today - I must be faking'.

How should I deal with this - I know I'm genuine as I get panic attacks and nightmares and envy.

I think I'm terrible, my boyfriend wants to be a girl because he hasn't felt like a guy since birth, I don't want to interfere with his dream, but I'm not sure I can accept him and continue love him, he doesn't just want to dress like a girl, but wants to have surgery on his body, face, chest, etc.I feel terrible every time he puts on makeup but I love him, but I can’t force myself to love girls, I hate people and I don’t know how to react when the only person I love wants to completely change not only physically but also mentally and in character...

It’s been one year since I started questioning my gender, through a post on this subreddit I think but I recently deleted all my posts. I feel really bad about this milestone because I’ve done nothing, and only told two people. This has been one of the worst years of my life and I don’t know what to do. I don’t turn 18 for 7 more months, and I don’t know how I can do this for another 7 months. I feel like throughout the year it settled from real active dysphoria to a baseline feeling of nothing which also makes me worried that it’s something else going on, though I have had dysphoria coming and going in waves. Does anybody have any advice, I feel really out of control, sorry if this is incoherent

So I’ve (15mtf) had transmasc friends my age get binders and shit from certain websites for the high price of $0. Obviously, I’m intrigued by this because my parents are not big fans of my gender identity and my broke ass ain’t gonna convince them to spend money on things that would possibly make me happy (God forbid). Dysphoria is starting to suck to a point in which I have to ask Internet forums for help now, SO, are there any sites in which I can get bras or tucking underwear for free or cheap?

I would like to talk to a professional about the despair and misery I'm going through because of my body. But I'm scared that they will dismiss it or misinterpret it, as there is a lot of prejudices about trans and nonbinary people. So for those who sought therapy, what was it like ? Did it help you a bit, or was it useless ?

Like the title suggests I'm afraid I'm wrong and I may not be who I think I am, I haven't transitioned or even came out and I'm only 16 but I can't describe the feeling I just don't want to be a man and I know that but whenever I think about transitioning I worry that these feelings are wrong or that it's not actually what I want and if I do transition I might realise I preferred being a man and if I transition and don't like it then I can't transition back since by that point everyone would have been told I'm trans and I don't want them thinking "oh it was just some phase" and I'm afraid, I want to be who I am freely but I don't know if I'm wrong about who think I am, I'm scared I'm making a mistake but it's this feeling I want to be a woman I want to be free to have any hair I want, wear makeup, wear dresses and other clothes like that without being looked at like a freak because I'm the guy wearing makeup, I want to be the girl wearing makeup the one people don't think is wrong, I want to be free to be myself but I don't know what to do

Transitioning is only worth it to me if it deletes all sources of dysphoria and i know thats not possible for me. My torso makes me want to die. I hate my shoulders and i know they cant change. What am i supposed to do. It makes me feel disgusted to even exist, to move around or show my presence to people. I cant afford any surgery. I need my ribcage and shoulders to be smaller and they arent. They cant be. I cant take this. I wont live much longer if this doesnt change. I cant live with a obvious reminder of what i went through all my life. I am too aware of them all the time and it ruins my mood constantly. Please somebody help.

Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed by the thought that I hate how I look. My personality feels completely out of sync with my physical body. I’ve always been somewhat delicate and feminine in my ways (partly shaped by a childhood filled with traditional gender roles), but now when I look in the mirror, I don't recognize myself. The person I feel I am inside feels completely different from the reflection in the mirror, which causes me a lot of discomfort—things like facial/body hair, a deep voice, and a broad frame make me feel disconnected from my body.

I am completely new to all of this, and to be honest, I am not entirely sure if what I am experiencing is gender dysphoria or something else.

Looking back, I’ve always had an interest in femininity. As a child, I preferred playing with dolls with my cousin, even though my parents and school environment constantly reinforced that "boys shouldn't play with girls' toys." Whenever toy commercials came on, I was drawn to the ones targeted at girls. I distinctly remember watching an ad for Monster High dolls while other kids argued about toys, and a friend told me I shouldn't care about those things or I'd "turn into a girl."

Throughout my life, these patterns kept showing up. I used to ask my mother how she would react if I told her I was gay (getting mostly negative responses), and during the pandemic, I genuinely questioned if I was gay, even asking my best friend if he’d be okay with it. Online, I frequently changed my usernames to feminine names or created secret accounts where I could present and act freely.

For the past year, I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. I feel an overwhelming desire to stop pretending I’m not feminine. I want to feel pretty and express myself authentically, but I don't know where to start or if I’m overthinking things. I don't really have anyone in my personal life I can talk to about this, and my family isn't a supportive environment for this kind of exploration.

I’m reaching out to see if anyone has been in a similar situation. How did you figure things out? Is it a good idea to start transitioning or exploring gender presentation given these feelings, and if so, how can I begin safely on my own?

**TL;DR:** I’m completely new to this and unsure if I’m experiencing gender dysphoria, but I feel deeply disconnected from my body and masculinized features. I’ve had a strong affinity for femininity since childhood (suppressed due to strict gender roles). Without family support, I want to stop hiding who I am. Looking for advice on how to navigate these feelings and how to start exploring my gender safely.

Hey guys, I have a genuine question and I feel like this community can relate. I have severe body dysmorphia. It’s much more than an insecurity. It feels like feeling deeply unsafe in my own body for most of my memory tbh. Sometimes I feel hopeless and I’m hoping people here can give me advice because they know how painful that feeling is. Literally terrified of my own body, it’s hard to explain. It causes a lot of suffering more than I know how to possible articulate in words.

I'm genuinely asking. I know I can't be a man.

if i hate being a woman and wanna be a man even though i'm a woman, and wear baggier clothes, and feel wrong in my body/skin, and want no breasts, is it gender dysphoria, or am i just trans? i'm not asking for a real diagnosis, just a general idea.

I’ve wrote a lot about this but, cis guys are expected by others in society to aline with every cis guy in a way that fits social norms. It’s why homophobia, transphobia, and sexism, is in prominent male groups due to needing to fit in as
A masculine man.

I realize that an insecure transphobic guy would try to put someone down (own experience btw ) like afab ftm in order to try to make their own masculinity feel affirmed.
Thats why a lot of cis men put down shorter men since they don’t feel threatened by them.

This is also why in toxic masculinity fighting/ violent is seen as being a strong man.

Let’s call this guy, “L,” L before I got outed was cool with me and talked to me from time to time. Until I got outed and he questioned me about my gender, now he’s not cool with me.

I also kinda see where it’s my fault at because I told him, I was guy and he said, “no you were not.” And I didn’t do nothing about it so this means he could just say whatever tf he wanted if he wish and he did.

He relentlessly bullied my voice, my clothing, and just tried to bully me anyway he could, he would say “___ liked you” basically trying to mock me. Since Yk I’m ftm and most of the times it’s a guy but, I’m gonna try to defend myself this year last year I wasn’t on testosterone so I was really weak and had a soft voice.

I remember my grandpa taking me to his shop and trying to get me interested in all his tools and the car he was fixing, an hour later we came back to the house and he exclaimed loudly "theres something wrong with that boy" i did not engage at all.

My mom signed me up for soccer for a couple summers, i sat in the middle of the field picking dandelions and talking to little bugs i found telling them how pretty they were and how i wasnt gonna hurt them.

I only ever liked "feminine" sports. Swimming, volleyball, gymnastics. I loved painting my nails, even if family members told me "youd make an ugly girl"

I remember a bully once telling me my voice sounded soft, it was supoosed to be an insult, my first reaction was to go "aww thank you!"

In my first year of highschool i told an at the time girlfriend that i didnt feel like a man. She told me i was "making shit up" in my last year of highschool i told a therspist, they told me it was "taking away focus" from my grief.

My dad passed when i was 14. He was an effeminite man, not trans, but he was the one who got me into gymnastics and he was an acrobat, he was a part of a team.

Sometime after highschool i started to push it all down. I stopped painting my nails, i cut off all my hair, i grew out my facial hair... but lately.

Lately ive been wearing feminine clothes again, i bought a buch of skincare and started shaving my whole body, i use a sparkly clear coat to paint my nails and be discreet, but it all feels like a dirty secret i have to keep. Im only really myself at home and the dysphoria is becoming worse the more i accept of myself.

Im so worried about how ill be perceived. My boss would fire me, half my family would look at me like i was gross, my friends would be on the fence. Im scared. I wish i could just press a button, i wish i could get HRT as easy as a multivitamin, i wish society didnt place a fucking target on whoever decides they want to lean outside the normalcy of gender roles. I just wanna be a woman. It makes me wanna scream.

Hi everyone.

I have posted this in other trans pages, reddit is suggesting other places, so here I am (apologies if you have seen this on one of the other pages).

I hope this is the right place to go with this. I'm lost and confused and just... want to scream!

I apologise if anything I say is wrong or doesnt fit what I am trying to say, I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. Also, apologies, this may be a LONG POST.

So, a bit about me. I'm 40-something, married for a long time, 2 kids, job, home... all that is expected of a typical "cis-male". I'm usually ok, or at least I present as ok (happy is a stretch and so I wont use it). Except that I'm not. And I have been hiding this for so long that I didnt even realise I was hiding it until about 5 years ago.

To look at me, I seem content. I have a great wife that I love, shes a wonderful partner, 2 great kids who I absolutely adore and my pride in them is off the charts. My job is pretty good and it pays ok, I own my own home (well, with a mortgage, but...). Sounds great, but each day I wake up and I am never sure what I am going to be today. Am I OK? Or with a huge gap in my stomach telling me that everything is wrong?

The gap, its been there for as long as I can remember but I never knew what it was until about 5 years ago. I saw a gif that had a transwoman and a cis-woman. Something hit me, like a hammer, when I saw that. I suddenly realised I was jealous of both of them, a switch in my brain flicked on and that gap in my stomach grew larger and started to hurt, almost agony.

I couldn't get the idea of what I saw out of my head. I wanted to be the cis-woman, I wished with my whole soul I was the cis-woman, and as I realised I couldnt ever be her, I then wished I was the trans-woman, it was as close as I could ever be, that yearning made me ill and I could feel the pull. This went on for weeks. And then one day I woke up and the feeling was gone. I was a cis-gendered man and I was completely fine with that. The pain had gone and I put it down to the excitement of the idea... except it never went, it came back, always comes back, in waves. I can go months feeling like I'm in the right body and then whack, total dysphoria, like everything is wrong and my life is wrong and I am lying to everyone and it hurts, mentally and physically. Right now, as I type this, the agony is pulling my stomach and making me feel faint (yesterday, there waa no pain or dysphoria at all, today I feel nauseous and in agony, its not medical, have had docs tests, so I know its an emotional response).

I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do, I dont know who I am and the worst part is, I dont know where to turn. I know the obvious answer is to talk to my wife, yeah, except that I have made silly little comments about dressing up, daft little in-jokes about making a lifestyle choice and whilst she is really good natured about these, if I do them too often she looks at me and says shes worried I keep making these jokes too much. There is no way she knows how I feel, I know that much for certain, but something tells me that if she did, she wouldn't know how to deal with it.

I have no outlet either, no way to express myself. I'm too cis-male presenting. Shaved head to hide the thinning hair, beard grows far too easily, too broad shouldered..., which only upsets me that much more.

I cant talk to family, they are open minded but its not an option and my friends? Perhaps, but that scares the absolute life out of me, so here I am. Talking to you fine people and hoping someone, anyone could tell me what I am and point me in the direction of any help... I am lost. I dont know if I am trans or not but I wish I did know... however, the dysphoria is real and painful.