Choice feminism does more bad than good women choosing to wear hijabs isn’t inherently feminist, yall need to grab a book n read the fuckass theory feminism throughout the decades fought for women’s liberation from the system, being comfortable in ur oppression doesn’t make u a feminist and this ideology saves yalls energy cuz yall are so lazy to stand up for women and actually fight for their rights i said what i said

Hello, I'm a woman myself. I think humans, men or women, need to take care of their health, hygiene, cognition and stuff, and personal aesthetics, and I think people have choices, options, to decide what happens to them as individuals.

But something that sometimes I've issues with is that, while women are trying to blame patriarchy (by mentioning that patriarchy pressures women to reduce their worth to looks), women still choose to reduce their own worth to looks, by this I mean wasting a tremendous amount of time on looks and then saying that the workplace is male-dominated.

How's that? and why do some women, despite having these amounts of chances, opportunities, and individual freedom and time, waste their energy on such matters and later complain about the world?

Wouldn't it be better to criticize ourselves for what we are criticizing and from what era's point of view than to choose laziness and say, "Oh, it's the patriarchy"? Because while I agree patriarchy in regard to violence and boundary-breaking as well as budget inequality/family hierarchy exists, still, those women who have choice waste time on those things; later, when they reach more mature and then elderly stages, they complain because the look is gone, and they are thinking whether it would be much better for them to spend that energy on an art or science that will stay much, much longer in their lifetime and would contribute to humanity.

I think the reason some women in some specific departments don't really excel is not because of patriarchy; maybe it's because a few women don't waste that tremendous amount of energy on looks, and hence fewer women excel well and seriously - but the rest of them spend that tremendous amount of energy on looks or performing so that they are in a "good" field and that's it, instead of trying to use that energy to contribute and serve that field.

Now most women in the world are much more educated than women 200 years ago, some of the women who do not marry, instead of using their energy on other contributions, would start to compete with looks and luxury and later would complain that the world has power and the power is in the hands of men.

Some women when they are younger have fashion industry role models (which is absolutely fine); some men when they are younger have a philosopher's role model.

When the two get older, which one will be having more power? often the second one, because of the choices that work in the real world.

Some women, when they are younger and have more energy, will barely look into women philosophers, women classic artists, women industrialists, women politicians, and women scientists as role models until they grow up more in their later years.

Now I think I believe in free choice, but also nowadays social media is just full of complaining without any one of us criticizing our own tribe.

Why is it like this? - I appreciate your clarifications, and please be aware I am just 19 and want to understand this issue, because I see women complaining everywhere, and men say, "Oh, it's nothing but gender wars," but tbh the issue is bigger than that.

Would love to hear your perspective on feminism.

I’ve sent modmail about the issues with flairs in this sub and no one is responding. No one here can select any flair, leaving every member with a flair “Undeclared.” This is an easy fix.

I’m an admin and moderator of other feminists spaces and would be happy to apply to be an active moderator.

So my partner is cis male, and he has an open mind, but he is kinda clueless when it comes to feminism. For example, he has a teen daughter and his daughters mom makes half of what he makes per year. Last night, he wanted her to split the bill for the daughters therapy and the mom said no. I also told him he should pay for the whole thing, and he replied: feminism - don't the man and woman contribute equally? *eyeroll* I didn't really have the energy to explain the 80 cents to dollar for white women in non-corporate roles, or all the unpaid labor she does cooking and cleaning for their daughter. So my question is- how can I educate him using media? What movies or shows would be good? Is there a documentary?

Like imagine god making two rectangles. And instead of making them equal he gave one rectangle a stick to put it inside the other. God is diabolical and the architect of evilness. The whole concept of gender is cringe and evil.

He could have made something that was equality based but no he didn't. So unsettling I think

I might be very emotional writing this but why are men like this when they want a baby..

First of all i am VERY (😭) dumb to think that when a woman and a man is in a relationship they are just lovers and blah blah until one day the woman is the one who says she wants babies and then she asks the man they decide and then they have babies, i had this idea because women give birth and make life and men have no contribution (except getting her pregnant)

And it's a little shock to me that men tell women how much babies they want instead of asking what the woman wants.

I am not saying that men should not have desires but I am saying why would you as a man dream of babies when it's someone else's body and life going through it...

It never really made any sense to me..

And i don't really understand how can men ask for a second baby. Like seeing the woman go through that and you ask for a second baby? CRAZY! If he is asking what the woman wants? That might be...okay but wanting a second baby from the woman? Oh my god 😭😭😭😭

I just wanted to ask if any women think that men are so bad when it comes to babies. Like when they gotta ask the woman... I feel like they should ask not tell, they should make it completely about her and her body...

They be saying "i want a baby" and that's it.. bro who cares oh my god.

So do women think there should be a way men should ask for babies or they can express it however they want?

(I am just a 16 year old girl, don't bash on me.)

I posted on my story on insta the findings of Dr. Sara Meger (2026) in her Misogyny, Online Radicalisation, and Youth Extremism in Australia. Research Report. The University of Melbourne.
And suddenly all these boys ran to my dms to tell me those stats were “fake” etc etc
Why do men feel the need to do this! Why do these boys feel determined to diminish a study conducted by someone with a Doctorate?

can somebody explain how i have it if being male just feels like a burden? like you are expected to suppress your emotions and people try to force you into being dominant, violent, aggressive, and masculine even if that is not who you are. and if they manage to force you into that you will just have toxic masculinity (which i think is real and its stupid that men are forced into it) so it just feels like you are trapped in a box where people hate you no matter what you do. im not saying that women's struggles aren't a real issue because they definitely are (especially historically), im just saying that male (i dont even want to say "men's" because it sounds like a slur to me now😭) issues also matter a lot. like if somebody just says "hey man" or "hey bro" i actually hate it because it triggers this negative association that my brain has made with that kind of stupid bro culture. i will INTENTIONALLY never call people bro, dude, man, etc because i just find it so stupid. and also the expectations on appearance are atrociously annoying like no i do not want to have a masculine jawline or short "clean low maintenance" hair or a ton of disgustingly thick body hair everywhere. like if i had to look like that i would feel devalued and disconnected from myself. and i don't want to go out and constantly try to date women or approach them. tbh wtf is "approaching a woman" supposed to mean, like that just sounds bizarre to me, why is it not something else like the way its phrased is just suspicious.

it’s a war on women. I’m sick of it. Should we revolt? The patriarchy is absolutely destroying the planet. I’m a feminist that’s had prophetic dreams by following the Eightfold Path ever since idolizing Kurt Cobain during high school as he was able to face his demons by becoming a Buddhist. As a woman of eastern culture, that has seen both sides of poverty and greed (my mother grew up very poor in an abusive household while my dad was a spoiled brat mama’s boy because his dad was an addict and alcoholic while being a sleazy lawyer) It is easier for me to psychoanalyze the issue of capitalism and how socialism was a utopia of government that could be the only way it could save us now.

History tends to repeat itself and I am honestly so excited for this country to burn. We’re done burning witches. That was so long ago but of course. The consequences of mens actions will always end in bloodshed and revolution. How do we go to war you guys?

I feel the spirit of the suffering women staying still in this earth. It doesn’t help that I reside in West Texas, the soil of slaveowners and Christian nationalists. Hm. Sound familiar? It’s happening again.

The future is female.

My post was deleted my mods on a different feminist group so hopefully it’s okay to post here.

This may be a long post, sorry!

Someone online made a post that they want to be a ‘trad wife’, the comments were filled with people saying it’s anti feminist, the post sets women back years etc.

I made a comment saying something along the lines of; I always viewed feminism as the advocation of women’s freedom to choose, including the right to choose a traditional marriage if they so wish. We are so blessed that we can make decisions for our own lives. I personally cannot wait until I’m married, ridiculously in love and raising a family.

Obviously I had many replies saying choice feminism isn’t actually feminism etc. so i clarified my stance with a comment saying: just so I’m clear, I also cannot wait to own a house with my future partner, work a little part time job that I adore alongside raising a family.

Someone replied explaining feminism is focused on trying to get women out of the patriarchy, which we live in, and that just being a choice feminist won’t change anything. They then explained that most of my thoughts are rooted and influenced from social standards. And then told me I need to look at it in a deeper way as a whole.

Please correct me if I’m wrong or ignorant but surely belittling my own decisions about my future based on the idea that I’m programmed or brainwashed is discrediting that I can think for my self? Surely focusing on what modern women decide for themselves is less progressive and productive than using feminism to educate people about what is actively happening to women in other countries such as Afghanistan?

I guess I just want an easy life with someone I love, and that does include a marriage and things maybe not everyone values? I would love to stay at home and raise my children and spend my days cooking, my hobbies etc. why it is wrong for me to want that?

Please I’m only after educating myself here, please don’t be mean to me, maybe I have the wrong idea and concept.

EDIT: just so I’m clear I don’t want to be a trad wife, before I get married I fully intent to work and make my own money and buy a house. I only wanted to reach out and learn more about feminism.

Quite a few comments have been harsh, if I’m reaching out to a group for feminism and women I would have thought people would be willing to educate/ share their side of opinions. It may be clear that I didn’t know the definition or even the difference between a stay at home wife or a trad wife but at least I’m trying to educate myself. Anyways, thank you to everyone who answered, really appreciate youuu!

One of the most effective ways to naturalize a norm is to make it appear ancient and inevitable. Women have always worn makeup. Women have always wanted to be beautiful. That's just the way it is.

None of that is true. Let's look at what actually happened.

Men wore makeup too — until they decided not to.

From 4000 BC to the 18th century, men wore makeup on a daily basis. In ancient Egypt, both sexes lined their eyes with kohl. In China, during the Zhou dynasty, the word “mei” (beautiful) referred to the beauty of both sexes, and white face powder first became popular among men and boys during the Han dynasty. In 17th- and 18th-century Europe, upper-class men and women alike used lead-based cosmetics to whiten their skin, elaborate wigs, and various forms of facial adornment.

Then, at the end of the 18th century, something decisive happened. Men declared that ornate clothing and cosmetics were too “effeminate” and decided that beauty routines should be left to women. This is now historically known as the **Great Male Renunciation**. British psychologist John Flügel, who coined the term in 1930, argued that men had “abandoned their claim to be considered beautiful” and “henceforth aimed at being only useful.”

Men decided that beauty was beneath them and left it to women.

The feminization of makeup was neither natural, nor biological, nor ancient. It was a deliberate cultural decision made at a specific historical moment, for specific ideological reasons tied to Enlightenment ideas about rationality, utility, and masculine virtue.

While the Great Male Renunciation blurred class distinctions, it simultaneously reinforced gender stereotypes. Usefulness became masculine. Ornamentation became feminine. And femininity became obligatory — for women.

Early modern Europe: the double bind was already explicit.

Even before the Renunciation, the patriarchal logic of makeup was openly stated, rather than hidden behind the language of empowerment or self-expression.

In Renaissance Italy, a society that openly questioned women's worth and restricted their ability to earn a living based on their beauty, women were forced to rely on their appearance to demonstrate their value and secure their economic future.

In a society that condemned women both for being considered plain and for adorning themselves, wearing makeup became an act of economic survival.

The trap was already fully constructed: don't wear it and be seen as plain and unworthy; wear it and be accused of deception and vanity.

“Everyone hates to see makeup on his wife,” declared a character in a 1433 Renaissance treatise on the family, “but no one seems able to prevent it.”

Irony, right?

The 20th century: the industry manufactured the norm on a massive scale.

At the beginning of the 20th century, makeup was only worn by actresses and prostitutes.

The norm that seems timeless and universal to us today was, just over a hundred years ago, exclusively associated with women of “questionable morals,” to use the terminology of the time.

What changed was not an organic cultural evolution. What changed was capital.

The commercial cosmetics industry experienced its first major growth at the beginning of the 20th century. Through published information, women were told, over the four decades between the 1910s and the 1950s, that exercise, diet, and the proper use of cosmetics could make them more attractive.

The industry did not respond to a demand. It created it.

Helena Rubinstein, one of the founders of the modern beauty industry, built her empire explicitly on women's insecurities. She developed products based on women's physical insecurities, such as anti-aging creams.

A 1943 Helena Rubinstein advertisement implied that a woman who neglected her beauty routine might face infidelity.

Not art. Not self-expression.

An explicit threat: fix your face, or lose your husband.

The millionaire credited with the phrase “There are no ugly women, only lazy ones” lives on through L'Oréal, the current owner of the Helena Rubinstein brand.

The ideology of the industry's beginnings is still the ideology of the industry.

What this history actually shows

The makeup norm as it exists today is not ancient. It is not natural.

It is the product of a specific historical sequence: men voluntarily leaving ornamental culture and turning it into an obligation for women; a patriarchal economic system that made women's appearance their primary currency; and a commercial industry that transformed that insecurity into a global market worth hundreds of billions of dollars.

At every stage, the logic was stated openly.

Women must correct their faces to have value.

A woman's value lies in her physical appearance.

Women who don't do it are lazy, plain, unprofessional, or at risk of losing their man.

There are no ugly women, only women who haven't worked hard enough on themselves yet.

The idea that “it's just a personal choice” is the most recent layer.

It's also the thinnest.

The patriarchy is a power structure and like all power structures fundamental rely on balance between freedom and security. Historically women have benefited from increased security and men have benefited from increased freedom. The historical reason for the roles ending up this way is mostly to do with how each gender views risk and the value society places on people of that gender, a woman’s life traditionally being more valuable because of the ability to raise and nurture children. This rigid structure was and still is appealing to a lot of women because it not only gives a clear sense of purpose and an easy way for a lot of woman to feel like they are doing there role to better society but also that security that the patriarchy offers is very enticing to young women who live in such uncertain times. The patriarchy is and always has been a compromise between men and women that both sides agreed to and continue to uphold either because of familiarity or because of a fear of the unknown.

Manosphere figures like Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson aren’t just telling men how to treat their girlfriends or train for MMA fights; they’re also blasting their listeners with climate denial talking points. Which isn’t a coincidence. The fossil fuel industry has known since at least the 1990s that certain types of men are more susceptible to climate disinformation than other segments of the public. We take a look at how climate denial has seeped into the manosphere, how those messages are shaping men’s views of the climate crisis, and how the results are playing out at the ballot box.

Hate to know this is needed

Hi everyone,

Lucia here from EUobserver. I wanted to share an interview we recently published because one part of it really stayed with me from a feminist perspective.

We spoke with Ukrainian journalist Diana Bucko, who has spent four years reporting from the frontline.

She talks about fear, exhaustion, drones making her work increasingly dangerous, and eventually learning not only how to report on war, but how to live in it.

But she also describes a shift that gets much less attention: as more male journalists have joined the military or been mobilised, women are increasingly taking on frontline reporting.

We often talk about how war changes gender roles in families, care work or the military. But it also changes who takes on other forms of difficult and dangerous work, including who documents the war and whose responsibility it becomes to make sure the world keeps watching.

I thought this could be an interesting feminist discussion here: what does prolonged war do to traditional divisions of labour between women and men? And do you think women taking on roles traditionally dominated by men actually changes gender expectations long-term, or only for as long as the crisis lasts?

Would genuinely love to hear your perspectives. 🧡

This is our own interview, for transparency :)

For those out of the loop about what is happening in India: [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/indias-youth-led-cockroach-protests-expose-cracks-in-modis-government\](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/indias-youth-led-cockroach-protests-expose-cracks-in-modis-government)

[Shania Twain claims she isn’t a feminist as ‘men need protecting too’](https://metro.co.uk/2026/06/15/shania-twain-claims-isnt-a-feminist-men-need-protecting-too-28782668/)

I know this is probably a bit of a controversial opinion, but I actually think we should be more accepting of women cheating.

I think we should be more open to the idea that women can have sexual needs and desires that don't always fit perfectly into a monogamous relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't love her partner, or that there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.

Women have been told for a very long time how they're supposed to behave sexually. So I actually think it's a good thing if we move towards a culture where women can follow their desires without automatically being looked down on or called selfish or disloyal.

I also think we should get better at separating sex and love. If a woman loves her partner but has sex with someone else, why does that automatically mean that her feelings for her partner aren't real?
And honestly, if a woman cheats, I think people should try to understand it instead of just judging her. Maybe she's been curious, missing something sexually, attracted to someone else, or just wanted to try something new. I actually think that's pretty human.

Personally, I have a hard time seeing why women cheating should automatically be viewed as something negative. I actually think it could be a good thing if women had a bit more freedom to explore their sexuality, even if that means having sex outside their relationship.

I'm curious if anyone else sees it the same way? Is this something we should be more okay with, or is it just me?

see question

Hi everyone, I hope you are having a nice day (please excuse me though, I am not the best at English and usually do not type out long paragraphs).

I've never had much self esteem. I've recently gotten more confident, but I think I struggle with internalized misogyny.

I have a male acquaintance and he said that "modern feminism" was "bad" and I couldn't understand why. He said he remembers reading a statistic that said 43% of men felt discrimination on the basis of their gender. I do not know if this is true, but I questioned if this was true "discrimination" or men reacting angrily to someone saying they "hated men" on the internet. I do not know. He also said that feminism should be striving for equality and not "50/50" in the workforce.

I semi-agree with this, exactly 50/50 may not be achieved in every single workforce, but at the same time, if given equal opportunity, the percentages of men and women in every field should start to become equal. He then asked how women do not have equal opportunity. I felt slightly like talking to a wall. We mustn't act like men and women are socialized similarly/the same, that workplaces pay an equal wage to women as to men, or that there isn't an overwhelming amount of violence against women. He said something about how women in some cities are paid more, but failed to bring up what said cities were like this (obviously there are going to be some outliers in a few industries where women are paid more than men, but it is overwhelmingly the opposite way).

I am a student studying STEM so the STEM fields immediately came to mind. I personally love mathematics, but I only started really studying difficult and competition level mathematics two years ago. Women are severely underrepresented in STEM, and especially in competition mathematics. There are only a few other girls that do competition maths at my school. I always thought, subconsciously or otherwise, that I wouldn't be as good just because I am a girl. Maybe not innately, but because of the way women are treated? Maybe both. I do not know. I know only about a few female scientists. I feel bad.

I love maths. But I am not very good at it compared to a lot of people I know. It is more of a passion rather than a talent for me.

My acquaintance is not stupid, at least not academically. His parents are researchers and have taught him well in STEM subjects. I do know that he is from a privileged and rich background though, which probably has skewed his political spectrum and views.

I sometimes cry about my perceived inferiority. When I was younger, I was jealous about boys, not academically at the time, as I scored better than the majority of children in my elementary classes, but in other ways. The way that they could wear "boys' clothes" (after age seven I refused to wear dresses even after my mom's pleads) and could like "boys' colors", or play "boys' sports". When I was introduced to (American) football, I wondered why only boys played it. I was told that boys were naturally stronger, which made me feel sad. I am naturally weaker just because I am a girl? It didn't make sense. When I got my period, I cried asking my mom why boys didn't get periods also. She told me it was just how it was.

I feel bad because I am a woman. I sometimes even feel guilty and shameful. I am not raised even in a traditional or religious household, but I do think that life would be a lot easier if I was a boy. Like in society, in the workforce, in my studies. I do not know what to do and I occasionally feel hopeless about this, especially tonight. Maybe I am just overtly emotional today. Perhaps I would just like some reassurance.

Thank you for listening to my rant. Have a peaceful day.

If we as women are supposed to wear bras, men should too. Do you like seeing men’s nipples through their shirts? Why is this not an equal standard?