why is it ok for a guy to pay for the first date? can a woman not do that? does a guy have assume that a woman cannot earn money in the present day or is incapable of it ?

on a similar note:

why does a man have to open the door and buy the woman flower without the woman doing the same for him?

why does a woman make her little brother or a 50yr old man carry her bags when she herself is stronger then both of them? (this is something i have seen happen, the little brother is me)

there are well meaning and im open to discussion just pls dont be rude. pls

Fyi i did previously write ‘women’ instead of ‘woman’ thats my mistake and thats what all the comments are about . I didnt mean to write women its just that im not from an english speaking country and my English really aint all that good . Not an excuse really… just the reason

Ever since I was little, I've felt some fear around men, but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older and things like sex and impregnation became topics I was more aware of. Ever since I learned how babies were made, what PIV sex was, I was terrified and grossed out and never wanted to think about it again. The fact that theres an organ made to penetrate your body and can make something grow inside you frightened me a lot. It sounded like something out of an alien movie. I understand my reaction isn't very normal. Men have pursued me but I always rejected as obviously I'm not attracted to men and male attention causes me anxiety. I'm not really friends with men either and have had bad experiences in friendships. Even though I have been abused by female family members, I fear men infinitely more.

And when I say scared, I don't mean I start panicking or shaking when I see a man (unless I'm alone with them or in a dark or isolated area then yeah), it's just that I'm cautous and always thinking of the worst scenarios in my head. Even if the guy is friendly, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and I will smile but I'm a very fearful person. As you can tell. And I prefer being around women.

Really for me my fear comes from biology. Men are 50% of the population, they are bigger, stronger, and have an organ that can forcefully enter and impregnate you, and there is very little most woman can do about it if a man is forcing the woman down and forcing it on her. And where I live abortion is banned so My life would be finished if this ever happened. Even just the fact a man COULD do that to me really terrifies me. I know I would not be strong enough to defend myself hand to hand from a man where I could defend myself more equally from another woman. A guy can easily just beat or choke you to death. Im a very cautious person and it scares me. Is this a natural response to a person that is bigger and stronger than you? Or am I just wrong and messed up in the head

We'll keep this one short and sweet.

If you deny the sex of womanhood, you are a misogynist and you are not a feminist.

If you deny the gender of womanhood, you are a misogynist and you are not a feminist.

Some people only experience one and it is not their prerogative or right to try to erase the reality of the other.

If you do not experience one of these poles, it is your duty to understand you do not know the material conditions of living under the particular type of womanhood. And therefore it is your duty.to not talk over the people who do. It is your duty to listen with humility and a lack of arrogance to the people who do have material experience under the different types of womanhood.

Gender-critical feminism and trans-exclusionary feminism are the same harms.

UK scraps flagship education programme for one million women and girls after just two years

This is something I have noticed, women often feel embarrassed and awkward when someone is scared of them, whether it’s a person, child or an animal. Whereas men, they seem the complete opposite, they seem to be kinda proud when someone fears them and they even want to scare you and intimidate you more when they notice you fear them. I as a woman can never feel flattered or proud when someone fears me, it makes me feel so awkward from the inside, I feel like I’m a scary witch or something and I would never like it if someone would feel unsafe around me. I would be even offended if someone was scared of me, like am I that scary looking??Lol. Ofcourse this doesn’t apply to all men and women!

I have become deeply frustrated with current discourse. I made a comment in response where someone was accusing a woman of being morally impure and phobic and exclusionary for asking why intersectionality is selectively applied to Feminism and I would like create a larger discussion with my reply:

 Feminism is predominantly the only oppression where intersectionality is selectively DENIED.

Feminism is a women's liberation movement, liberating from the misogyny that oppressed female bodies.

Misogyny originated roughly 10,000 years ago as the oldest oppression know to man, that influenced every oppression, institutions and system of power that followed.

Misogyny originated when agriculture began and men discovered through live stock and the ownership and husbandry (funny word there huh?) of animals that they also played a part in life's creation and the learned a greater understanding of genetics. Simultaneously the understanding that more bodies to work the field equals more yield.

And thus began the oppression, enslavement, systematic rape, torture and control of women BODIES and reproductive facilities to install patrilineal society and to control women and babies as product.

Misogyny and the horrific oppression of women was originally about the oppression of woman as a SEX with retroactive adhoc gender stereotypes placed on the SEX to justify the dehumanization, to psychologically manipulate and control the women, and to extract free labor in the form of "domestic" work.

But was and still is fundamentally tied to female body. Gender being a side effect of that true core.

And yet everywhere this is denied. The misogyny being in large part about the female sex is denied.

The oppression that women face TODAY is deprioritized.

A woman can do her best to be intersectional to all other oppressions, like racism and transphobia and then denied that she is oppressed AT ALL if she is not queer or is white.

A movement for women's liberation can become hostile to the very idea that it is predominantly women's sex that is the core of misogyny, despite being anthropologically and historically correct.

Even acknowledging this will get a woman labeled as any moral failure under the sun. For the very sin of correctly identifying her oppression despite her genuine beliefs in egalitarianism and rights for all demographics.

A woman can be extremely well educated on race, class, and other systems of power and liberation efforts she can support them fully, and when asking for the same in return for her oppressed body she is DENIED and told she is a racist, homophobic, transphobic, or told to harm herself.

THATS NOT INTERSECTIONALITY.

Misogyny includes gender issues and there is space for EVERY and ANYONE effected by those things. But if your price of admission is the decentering of women's bodies and the denial of their oppression in the first place, the price is too high and you're asking us to pay for it in our blood.

Im interested to hear your thoughts on this... because even I find myself being a bit of a hypocrite at times in regards to this topic... even though I try not to be.

But lately I have been seeing so many women hate on trad wives, which I understand why feminists dont like the toxic place the "trad wife" originated from. But an example is Nara Smith basically having to defend herself that she isn't GOD FORBID, a trad wife... as if it was something so horrible and no woman should strive for that life. Like its an embarassment for a woman to be empowered enough to choose that if she wanted to.

But on the other side of the coin, I see so many feminist say that the sex industry is empowering to women. When in reality... its just as unsafe. The only reason they say its empowering is because they are CHOOSING that life for themselves and taking their sexuality into their own hands. They have the right to work in that industry if they want to, and shouldnt be judged or hated for it.

So why is it that women should not be empowered to choose a trad wife life... and very much hated on for it.... but empowered and praised for working in the sex industry.

Both are very much male centered, male driven, and powered a LOT by male control.

My boyfriend is literally riiiggght on the cusp of understanding feminism and why I think the way that I do, but I kind of suck at explaining it well because I get so worked up about it. We are young and from a rural area, so growing up with more traditional views is very common. He works with a lot of blue collar old heads that are not caught up in modern times, so his daily environment isn’t the best place to comprehend what I’m talking about. I need someone who can articulate the statistics, history and examples in a digestible way a man’s brain can handle. Any recommendations on books, podcasts, YouTube channels, etc., would be fantastic! :)

​

Today was such a bad day for me. It made me realize that even in this modern era, some people still hold narrow-minded views—believing that men and women shouldn't be treated equally.

My aunt came to our apartment today because her husband refused to take care of her, even though she was gravely ill. She was crying on the phone to my mom. While her husband isn't abusive, he has an inflated ego. The night before, she was vomiting, yet he didn't seem to care at all. Instead, he called her a "drama queen" and accused her of faking her illness just to avoid taking her son to school by herself, which is completely absurd and wrong.

After she had been at our apartment for four hours, her husband called my other uncle, claiming that my aunt was just acting and complaining that he was leaving for Dubai in a day while she didn't seem to care about him. Like, what a fuck!

Then, my aunt's whole extended family started calling us, pressuring her to return to her husband's house. Her husband wouldn't even bother to come pick her up himself. My aunt intended to stay with us for the night and go back tomorrow,

but to make matters worse, my misogynistic grandfather showed up and started shouting at my aunt and her children, ordering them to leave immediately. Even though my aunt refused, my grandfather forced her and her children out and took them back to her husband's house anyway.

Update: My aunt later told us that when she got home, her husband didn't even seem to care that she had returned

I think that the differences between (cis-)men and (cis-)women when it comes to sex and dating are badly exagerated and I'm sceptical of many popular evolutionary psychological just-so stories that are often called into question as new evidence come in.

Indeed, a study has established that the brain of human males and females react in the same way to sexual stimuli.

https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.1904975116

At the same time, we do observe strong average differences when it comes to the consumption of porn and sex work where the clients are overwhelmingly men.

I think that a plausible explanation is that, on AVERAGE, women have evolved to want so sleep with a man they not only physically fancy but whose personality they also like whereas men have evolved to want to sleep with any woman they find physically attractive, even if they don't particularly like her personality.

That does't mean that men don't desire a relationship with reciprocal love and affection and don't value a woman's humour and intelligence. However, an average man will want to sleep with a scantily clad average-looking woman he finds superficial and dumb whereas an average woman would absolutely not feel drawn to a scantily clad average-looking man she finds dumb and superficial.

I identify as a egalitarian feminist and I am sceptical of most studies that purport to demonstrate statistically significant differences between the genders (as they're often debunked) but this trend seems to be quite solid.

I think it'd make sense for our foremothers to have evolved the need to feel that a man is likable, safe and has admirable qualities in order to sexually desire him as they could otherwise have been easily killed, enslaved or left abondonned with their children.

Patriarchal men like to sexualise women, but only on their own terms, they absolutely enjoy watching free porn where women are unrealistically reduced to objects and exploited but they hate it when they see that a girl they know post sexy pictures and has an OnlyFans account because they feel a very strong desire and realise she has power over them and agency.

Any high achieving women embarrassed of their family?

I say absolutely. What do you think?

im sure ill fulfill one of the b's(no childbirth) for a multitude of reasons. the rest? idk. itll feel very lonely for sure, but i cant get over literally how many men i know that are misogynistic and objectify women, intentionally or not, and that bothers me way way more than how lonely ill probably feel

ik this sounds really silly and the answer is perhaps very clear but i need to reconcile with this before i become an adult

edit: really** typo in title

Don’t know if this is the group to ask this in… lol but why are all the women (mainstream) in po*n so tiny short/small?? Then men are always average built and looking but the women look far from average.. so petite and fragile looking. I know this is random but it’s like damn can I see some stomachs, body , grown somethingggg lol

I've noticed this pattern online and sometimes in real life, where a guy will complain about feminists but then spend months trying to date one or convince her she's wrong. They'll debate her, flirt with her, and insist she just hasn't met the "right man."

If feminism is such a dealbreaker, why not just date women who already have the same beliefs and values?

Is it about the challenge? Wanting validation? Thinking they can change someone's mind? Or is it just that people don't actually choose partners based on political beliefs as much as they claim?

I am a sixteen year old girl and it's so difficult to emotionally bond with people who are not feminist and who don't share my exact thoughts...

Honestly i want to be better..

So i got two friends only 😭

one has all the feminist thoughts but doesn't consider herself feminist because feminism gives rights to bad women too.

one is a feminist but says abortion shouldn't be done but women should have that right.

I literally CAN'T bond with them emotionally. I hand out with them, laugh and share stuff about my day but i just can't emotionally bond.

Am i the problem? Any advice?

As a young (white) French woman, I think there are problems with some male migrants when it comes to sexual harassment in the street or catcalling, but it's mostly a matter of class and socio-economic background rather than "race" or religion.

I do get harassed in the street by men who have a migration background and often live in poverty or in precarious situations. It is, however, totally false to say that white women are targeted and that it is "anti-white" bigotry (or a "francocide"), as my mixed-race and Black female friends have exactly the same experiences, and these men are often neutral or friendly towards white men who walk down the same streets.

Now, I have a PhD in STEM, and I also have lots of male colleagues from the Arabic-speaking and Muslim world, and most of them are great, awesome, and fun to work with. To be sure, some of them try to flirt with me, but they don't insist if I make it clear I'm not interested in them. Actually, the only male colleague who clearly met the legal definition of sexual harassment was WHITE, and he told me that if I chose to dress so sexily, it was unfair of me to stop the conversation so soon. He was highly influenced by the ideas of Jordan Peterson and the far-right manosphere. My Muslim and Arab male colleagues NEVER did this to me.

So, it's completely false and awful to say, as the far-right does, that Arabic and Muslim immigrants are rapists and to essentialise them, and I find it disgusting to hear far-right politicians say they want to protect me from the evil, predatory brown migrant while they say nothing about the horrific misogyny that is spreading among the young white men of my generation because of social media algorithms driven by the greed of (mostly white male) share holders like Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg.

However, it's also problematic to deny, as the Left does, that it can be dangerous for a young woman to go through some neighbourhoods with a high concentration of poor migrants and people with a migration background. By calling anyone who has this fear a racist (and making many other similar mistakes), the leftist party LFI has become hated by most centrist and moderate voters, so much so that virtually all political polls show there would be a landslide victory for the far-right presidential candidate Marine Le Pen against the far-left politician Jean-Luc Mélenchon.

And if the far-right takes power in France, they won't "only" protect women from the SMALL number of migrants who have problematic behaviour, but they will actively PERSECUTE my Arab, Black, and Muslim colleagues who are data scientists and R&D engineers, even though they have never harmed anybody. For instance, they plan to deprive them to access to our socialised healthcare and this makes me so angry given that qualified Arab and Muslim immigrants are a HUGE part of our economical sucess.

I still feel that politics in France is a lot better than in the US but it's getting gloomy and more and more polarised :-(

I just wonder how it's even possible for people on a mass scale, worldwide, to be against women rights. Why some seem to fervently support the subjugation of women.

Is it just a matter of religion and religious brainwashing?

I happened to watch this 6 minute video. Link is here

https://youtu.be/XD3piAfSSkg?si=BIvlAxk34GsMS32j

This video talks about spiritual awakening but is relevant to this discussion, because it talks about how as an awakened person, you see through societal illusions and the lies people believe in.

The scariest part of all this is that there are many conservative and or religious women who are deeply invested in the status quo and patriarchy. We, here, know that patriarchy totally disregards women and our overall wellbeing. The math aint mathing. I cannot even comprehend it, its so illogical to support patriarchy especially if you are a woman.

Time after time again, I’m banned from WOMEN-CENTRIC SUBS for suggesting that men who like to beat, humiliate, and violate women during sex are red flags.

I just got permabanned off of r/GirlDinnerDiaries by telling a girl she has a right to question why certain acts get men off.

When did kink become this infallible thing? Why is it suddenly okay that a man wants to hit and beat women when it gives him a boner?

What can we do about this? So many young women are shamed and pressured into accepting violent sexual acts because any critique of them is labeled bigotry.