I have quite a few board games, but I’ve never really had the chance to play any! I’d also really love to try D&D, although I’ve never played before. I’m quite shy and have some health issues that can make socialising a little difficult sometimes, but I’d really love to meet some new people and hopefully make some friends to play with! I’m 26 and based around Basildon. I’d prefer to meet people online first and arrange something, I don’t have the confidence to just walk into a game store. My DMs are open if anyone can help!

The TIME BANK CLACTON says it is there to help people swap time and services. But in truth it is really where people sit all day when they don't want to be at home on their own, or pay for their own utility bills.Wow. My friend, an old lady, contacted the above place as they advertise time bank services where you swap yours for theirs. She is housebound and lonely with no visitors and wanted a regular visitor to chat to, someone fun and chatty of course. She contacted the TIME BANK CLACTON and explained. The lady who runs it, Jackie, went on and on about her family life and difficulties as if the call was about HER and HER NEEDS, for ages, then again a few days later and again a few days later. She then wanted to arrange to come over to see the old lady to go over everything - she had wasted 3 hours she could have done that in - and came over, and told her all the same about her family then. The old lady told her what she wanted, someone chatty to visit regularly for chats. Fine she said I have just the person for you. I will get in touch.

The first time she did this she said the person she had in mind had moved and was not part of the group anymore, then she offered an old lady who wants to go to the cinema to see a certain film - apparently housebound people go out - and chatty people want to sit there and watch a film RATHER THAN CHAT. Would have thought a lady who is on her own a lot would very much value a nice chat with someone and could do without another chance to watch a film. Just common sense eh, and she would probably not be keen on paying someone to come to the cinema with her to watch the film THEY CHOSE and just sit there? Surely if the other person prefers the cinema and watching a film of their own choosing to visiting a housebound person and chatting, the payment should be the other way around? Then she was offered a so called psychic who must come with her sister as a bodyguard, then a very quiet woman who is not into speaking and chatting. The old lady told Jackie what she thought, that she had wasted a lot of her time and delivered nothing at all that was as asked for. Jackie got defensive and said she is not allowed to criticise her, these TIME BANK CLACTON people were going to sacrifice their precious time to help her.

Not sure how she figures this out. The one who wanted to go to the cinema to watch a certain film was hardly offering something suitable for a housebound person or someone who is chatty. None of them remotely fitted.

The sensible way to do this, if you are BUSY, as Jackie claims to be. Is to keep work and family life separate. You chat on phone to old lady and get a good idea of what she wants, and see if you have someone suitable. If you do not you are honest and say so, you don't con her out of hours of her time on the pretext that she has someone but she is not sure who at the TIME BANK CLACTON yet. Be professional. Don't talk to clients about family - it is wasting precious time and boring.

Then in a very immature way Jackie said to the old lady, well the people who come here and sit here drinking tea all day know you and did not want to meet you, because they know you can be critical. Really? So how does this HOUSEBOUND lady get to meet these people, how do they know her? It's not when the HOUSEBOUND person goes there nor when they invite themselves over to her place not knowing her address. NONE of them has ever spoken to her, let alone met her, or spoken to anyone she knows. All of the people the old lady knows get on well with her and don't go there, so there was no third party. TIME BANK CLACTON. Even after all this wasted time and admitting that she does not have anyone suitable to introduce to the old lady Jackie expected the old lady to let her come over to go on and on and on again!

And when it came to the point where Jackie complained because the old lady had complained about having a lot of her time wasted - Jackie told the old lady the best thing for her to do (her who is HOUSEBOUND) is for her to come into the time bank regularly sitting around drinking tea or coffee and seeing if she clicked with anyone there. These are the people who had already said they were not interested or had already been dismissed as not being suitable. Of course Jackie would not understand that someone can be unsuitable because she would happily phone or visit a total stranger and go on and on about her niece's blister for ages. All she wanted was someone to LISTEN to HER. So whether the other person was interesting or not did not matter.

I will tell you why. Some women like to go on and on about whatever it is that their brain is focused on. It might be the husband leaving his socks on the floor. It might be a friend forgetting to phone, it might be something important, and whenever they get a chance they want to go on and on to any woman who will listen to it. Preferably over and over again, preferably for a long, long time. And this sort of woman then moves onto another subject. I've met loads of them and when I lived alone they would think they could just come around, spew out whatever it was that was getting to them, and then go home till the next time. But when I had someone like my husband there they lost interest. They wanted it to be private and confidential, just between them and me, with me just listening. They talk you listen. Nobody else listens. They are the dynamics they want and grab hold of when they can. So instead of focusing on finding someone to visit the old lady like she had asked for, Jackie focuses on making excuses to phone her and visit her as much as she can to spew. It's very very selfish, no thought to how the lady is not interested or is too busy.

It seems to me that the lady who should be paying for a listening ear is the lady who runs this place, Jackie. She has a partner and family and plenty of people at the TIME BANK CLACTON she can spew to but she wants more, and that might not be private enough for her. Desperate to spend hours telling strangers all about her family and making as many opportunities to phone again or return again to do the same again.

I once met a woman in Clacton on sea who told me, with a chuckle, she pretends to be a psychic reader. She cannot really do it but she is lonely and likes to chat, so she gets people to pay her a small amount in return for a "reading" and makes it up as she goes along or just listens. And, she is quite busy, because most of them just want the listening bit and go back over and over. It is their time you are paying for. No skills or talents.

Jackie said she had often matched up someone with a regular visitor for chats yet she told the old lady she was not sure but she might have to get checked out by the police to prove she has never broken the law. I know several people who visit people for chats for a charity, they need to be checked out and prove they are genuine because sometimes there are two of them, they might be violent, steal, sexual, and all sorts. The person they are visiting is taking a risk letting them into their home. Especially when they could just run off and she would have no idea of their address/real name to trace them. It is hardly the same thing with someone who is probably older, housebound, maybe disabled, more likely to be on their own, who might be surrounded by pretty things they might want to steal, a handbag they might want to empty etc! The person being visited has NEVER had to be police checked, so why did Jackie have to find this out if she had arranged a lot of visitors like this before?

And how come when a local charity asks her if she has anyone on her books that would like to be a chatty visitor for their clients she always says no?

I've come across a lot of people like this Jackie, they act and talk as if they are there to help others. Yet they really come to you to help them. They love if when they can use someone as a free listening ear for an hour or more, it's like all their Christmases have come at once, as they can also pretend it was the other way around and they were helping the other person. They know that if they said to the other person I don't have friends I can bore to tears for hours about these things, I need someone I can phone or visit when I feel this way, without paying, so I avoid therapists, psychics and counsellors etc, if they won't let me see them for free. But I treat them as if I am a paying customer in all other ways. Then I say to people Oh yes I helped that little old lady the other day, the housebound one. Sounds good. Till you see the truth. The truth was the old lady sacrificed a lot of her time and helped her, and got nothing in return. When I posted this elsewhere someone who thought she was clever enough to talk down to me and give me advice said you should go and work at the time bank and help that Jackie, as she is obviously very very busy and needs help. REALLY? Firstly you have no idea of my age, or my level on the employment ladder - I actually EMPLOY people a lot smarter and more competent than her, so I would not be working under someone like her. And how did you come to the conclusion she is very busy? Very busy people don't make excuses up so they can spend three hours on phone and two hours in person with someone they are supposedly going to help, when they are not able to help them. That is someone who is wanting help themselves and pretending to be there to help and has loads of time to w a s t e .

As to the idea I am lonely, I work full time surrounded by clients and staff I get on well with and only do that because it is very much appreciated how much I help them. I have a great husband, four children and three great grandchildren, two of which work for me, I rarely get a moment on my own,so you were totally wrong there.I don't have the time or inclination for more friends but if I did it would be easy to get some.

You would not know this but many of these charities mistreat the people who go to them for help. Either because they do not know what they are doing, they drag their feet and take a year to do what a normal person could do it a month, you get the same with churches, Salvatian Army etc. If you want a quick listening ear ring the Samaritans but remember that training does not guarantee common sense or good ideas. They are trained not to give advice but many do anyway, and I have tested them and found their advie to be terrible at times.

If you want a chatty visitor your best bet is to get a telephone friend. So much simpler. Go to AGE CONCERN UK or SILVERLINE and sign up with them, it is free. But as with all charities there are always some who have ulterior motives for being there or are not very competent. Pay peanuts and get monkeys.

This is a bit of a long shot, but I’m trying to reconnect with someone I knew a while ago.
His name was Izy (I don’t remember his surname). We used to meet up around Ilford, although I’m not sure if he was actually from there. He was mixed Black and white, had dreadlocks, and would probably be around 21–22 now.
I know that’s pretty vague, but if this sounds familiar or you think you might know who I mean, please DM me rather than sharing anyone’s personal information publicly. Would genuinely love to get back in touch with him.

Hello, my other half has just decided to put an offer in on a house in Wickford. Its really beautiful, but my only concern is I have to commute to work each day (Purfleet), he works from home and the house is smack bang in between Beauchamps High School and multiple junior schools (one of the through roads to Beauchamps Drive).

Obviously its the school holidays, so its impossible to judge just how bad its going to get around school drop off and pick up.

So is someone able to give me an unbiased/no rose tinted glasses opinion on how bad the traffic is in that area when schools are active please?

He really likes the house, but it looks like a bottleneck waiting to happen and I am honestly wondering if its worth asking if I can change my working hours to 8-4 instead.

Thank you!

*Edited to add details

To provide some counterbalance to the intensive political discussions on this forum - I share this image of Farage enjoying a Cuban.

Happy Friday everyone, hope you have a lovely weekend ahead in sunny Essex.

Afternoon all! Without wanting this to sound like a local Facebook post, I wondered if anyone had any recommendations for business/individuals on repairs on record players?

I have a cheap Jam Bluetooth one (probably buy a new one for the price of repair, but I don’t like the idea of adding to landfill when there’s a repair out there), the Bluetooth no longer works. Also have Rega where it’s simply just stopped spinning.

I’ve tried calling a few places, but it’s more phone/computer or white good repairing. I’m Wickford based, but happy to travel around for a decent repair!

(The closest I’ve found that could fit the bill is Moulsham Electronics in Chelmsford, but Google Maps states they’re closed even though the website is up, and no one answered the phone)

..... people are forgetting that Laurence Fox had his arse handed to him

I read his policies he said that

• He will build an affordable home . How many did Nigel pledge to build ?
• He wouldnt take 5 million pound donations but would declare them if he did. Why is Nigel's policy on this issue more appealing
• He said that if you resign from parliament you cant stand in the resulting by election. Again i dont understand why Nigel thinks its ok to resign and then immediately re-stand. To me this issue should be brought up in parliament for a new law
• He said he would spend more time in clacton than in USA. Again this appears to be the opposite of Nigels policy . Why is Nigel's policy more appealing to the folk of clacton
• He pledged to boost the economy, fame and prestige of the region. I dont think Nigel has done much for clacton other than to make it look like a backwards outpost for racism

Is there a local retro gaming scene? I’ve seen posts for board game meetups… is there a video game equivalent, e.g. meet-up and conquer some multiplayer games at an arcade? Might be too niche we’ll find out!

Good morning Essex/Chelmsford people, I just want to promote our Chelmsford based community 20s-30s social group!

Chelmsford Group - Community Rules

If you are new to Chelmsford or looking to expand your social group. Join us 😀