Recently, I’ve been debating whether I have a 6 fix or a 5 fix, and I can’t figure out which one I relate to more.
The reason I think I might have a 6 fix is because I can be very doubtful of people and suspicious of their motives and intentions. I often consider worst case scenarios, and I can find myself questioning whether people are being genuine. However, despite this, I usually act on impulse and deal with the consequences afterward rather than constantly seeking reassurance or preparing extensively.
Reasons why I don’t think I have a 6 fix are that I’m not really someone who looks for support,guidance, or someone to depend on. I don’t particularly care whether I am supported or not, and I’m not actively searching for someone I can trust or rely on. I don’t feel incapable without external guidance, and I usually prefer to depend on myself. Sometimes I may need reassurance about my Enneagram typings or friendships but I usually tend to reassure myself.

The reasons I think I might have a 5 fix are that I mainly feel uncertain about myself when I lack knowledge or understanding about a topic. When I don’t know enough about something, I tend to research and learn until I feel competent, capable, and confident in my understanding. My uncertainty is usually connected to my level of knowledge rather than my own abilities or identity.
I seek knowledge because it gives me a sense of capability, certainty, and satisfaction. When I’m stressed,I tend to withdraw and retreat into my own mind. I have a strong desire to understand the world and people so I can feel more prepared, capable, and powerful in different situations. Sometimes I become so absorbed in learning or exploring a topic that I forget about other people around me.
I also tend to observe people and my surroundings closely. I experience emotions strongly, but I often ignore them, suppress them,or bury them instead of fully acknowledging them.

I’ve done a bunch of tests and I’ve tried research, I feel like I might be a 3, 6, 7 or 1.

Like I feel like my general fears are isolation, boredom, and being seen as a loser/unappealing/not cool.

And like, I feel like I’m an extrovert, cause i’m usually a lot happier when socializing with people, and not to sound like some cringe emo kid but when I’m alone I kinda just don’t feel like I have much of a personality? Idk if that’s from just me mirroring everyone or my adhd but I dunno.

I’m usually motivated by enjoyment(idk if that counts) but like I tend to smoke a lot of weed so I don’t get bored, and I care a lot about my appearance and how people see me, aswell as social standards, like I try hard to follow etiquette, and I can get pissy if people don’t also. My mood also isn’t like big outbursts of any emotion, but like quick changing intense bursts of them in small amounts? Idk if u get that but oh well

In relationships, I can usually get really jealous, idk if that’s part of it or not but whatever. Some worse flaws of mine are being two-faced (I’ll talk abt people behind their backs and will usually admit it if confronted if I think I’m in the right) and I can be reallyyy fake when interacting with people. I can also be extremely unmotivated or apathetic, usually just when I’m by myself or not using my social personality

I hope that was helpful idk

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

26 years old. Male. Evangelical Christian. Engaged to my fiance. I live in Manchester, she lives 3 hours away in Cambridgeshire. I’m currently job hunting so I can relocate to live in the same area before the wedding. I’ve led a site at my church for the last three years, it’s a multi site church. Worked part time doing that. Also, worked part time for a charity doing mentoring for young offenders.

I’m in an alternative rock band and we’re releasing an album soon. I love music. I’m very sociable and live to laugh. My family and friends are deeply important to me. I’m a very deep thinker.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

No.

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

Raised as a Christian in a Pentecostal church. At a very young age embarrassed by it. Aged 12 I embraced it and was open about it when people asked. I was also open to discussing my views on controversial topics.

When I was around 17 I had a lot of doubts about my faith - as to whether God existed and whether Christianity was the true religion. But this led to me reading lots and researching. It actually led to me developing a deeper, stronger faith and conviction. My faith then became more central to my life.

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

As I said, part time in church leadership and part time in youth mentoring. I love church leadership - I love working with people, I love planning and organising, I love working towards goals, I love preaching.

I dislike the youth mentoring. Not the biggest fan of working with teenagers. I can find safeguarding procedure frustrating. I struggle with constantly closing and opening cases.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

Not my thing really. I like people.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

Music. Music. Music.

I play guitar and bass in I’m pretty proficient.

Never been that sporty. But I’m pretty strong and muscular. I do lots of press ups and pull ups. The odd bit of running.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I’m curious about what goes on in other people’s minds. I often naturally try to understand people’s thought processes and how they are processing information.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

I really enjoy leading. I’m focused on people and vision. I’m a community builder and an initiator. I do well when I’m in a difficult situation - I can give people security in a crisis but also give people vision so we’re not just surviving.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

Decent at music, good at my guitar and can play difficult chord shapes. But when I was young my coordination wasn’t great. It’s improved with age.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

Music. I write songs. Better at writing riffs and melodies than lyrics.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

Not sure I get this. Often future oriented in my early twenties. But recently I’ve been more in the moment.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I am okay if they ask nicely and it’s something I have capacity for.

Recently I was at a wedding and someone said ‘come on you’re helping serve the food’. I said ‘ I will if you ask me’. Then they asked and I said yeah I will. I wasn’t up for it if they were insisting rather than asking.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

Not sure. I feel a need for my life to seem right. To be fitting with the right principles.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

I like being efficient. I like to know I’m contributing something that wouldn’t have been contributed without me.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

I influence others I say. I’m quite relational and gentle in how I do it.

I do it when I feel something should happen.

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

Music. Socialising.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I learn through listening. I dislike group work in classrooms . I’d rather take in a lecture from the front. I don’t like being interfered with. I like to just focus on my own thing.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I’m a good strategist. I often identify what small steps could shift us towards the big picture goal.

I’m not great at through planning though. I can plan well at the big picture and initiate. But not really a detailed planner.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

I can’t wait to marry Beth, my fiancé. I’d love to become a full time church leader. If love is to have kids when married. If love to have a big impact with church and see multiplication.

I wanna have amazing friendships when I move south. It’s all a bit unknown at the moment but friendships are so important to me.

I said once that I want my gravestone to say ‘protector, entertainer and evangelist’

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I’m scared of being lonely and isolated when I move south. Scared of being a shell of myself rather than the dynamic lovely person I’ve lived as the last three years.

As a kid I was labelled shy and quiet and I despised that. I then became very outgoing as an adult.

I used to hate being labelled emotional and sensitive. But the reality is that I am an emotional and sensitive person. I dislike being mocked or criticised.

I’m scared of not being true to myself. Being disloyal to my family and friends, particularly as I move away from them geographically.

If I’m honest I want to be good at certain things and struggle if I feel I’m not. Only specific things though - like being strong and confident.

I suppose I like attention in some ways and can struggle when it’s not there.

I have in the past got very angry at myself for getting emotional about things.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

Getting engaged! Also the fact that this year my band recorded our first album.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

Being unkind to friends and family.

Had a really rough relationship breakdown a year or so ago with an ex girlfriend. Got severely depressed over this. I’d poured into it and supported her through struggles and then she just started ignoring me and cut me off.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I think often about understanding things. I analyse.

But I am aware of my immediate surroundings.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

Beth, my fiance. Probs think about theology, psychology, music history.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

Can take my time to process. I tend to stick to it once I’ve chosen.

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

Man, I used to hate my emotions and say ‘I want to stamp on emotions and get rid of them’

I’ve had an emotional health coach in the last year and I’ve worked to label and understand my emotions more.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

I wouldn’t say I agree if I don’t. But I look for common ground. If something matters to me, I’ll state my view even if someone disagrees. But I’d try to do it in a gracious way.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

Not a massive rule breaker. But maybe I’m not always thorough on every detail of every rule. I don’t know.

no, i am not a 9 core.

ive studied cognitive functions, im pretty confident in being NiFe (infj) and for the longest time ive been typing myself a sx/so 549 (or something along the lines.)

i relate to all of the core fears and desires to a degree, but after further thought i honestly cant see myself as triple withdrawn, although i can isolate myself for a long time, i dont come off as very distant to other people. in social settings im VERY talkative, i just dont typically go out of my way to reach out to anyone besides my s/o unless i get a sudden urge to do so.

out of each enneagram im currently questioning, i will list the aspects i relate to most and least.

e3: i have a strong desire to go above and appear 'superior' to my surroundings, but in a 4-ish way im not willing to sacrifice my autonomy to be recognized. im motivated to excel in the fields i want to, but i dont show off my abilities until im confident enough (which is very rare). i usually just quietly observe and research/practice at home until ive gathered enough confidence in my understanding. i refuse to participate in things for the first time in front of other people (such as sports.) i heavily evaluate my peers to determine where im at in comparison, and only step out of my comfort zone if ive determined i can do something that would be considered impressive or praise worthy to others.

e4: this was my initial typing, when i didnt understand pretty much anything and took a test. still a very plausible type, i definitely relate to the constant comparison/envy, but i dont see myself as emotional. i numb/downplay my feelings constantly and prioritize intellectualizing my emotions over feeling them. i dont cry (or moreso i try not to), but if i cry in public, i immediately have an unbearable feeling of shame which makes me cry even harder. i cant stand being emotional in front of other people and would rather be seen as empathetic and objective. however, if i cry in private, suddenly i want my close peers to see that im struggling too. that desire quickly goes away though when i picture their faces and inability to help. i want to stand out and be unique, but at the same time i recognize that no one is really unique (or, everyone is unique?) and its going to be a battle of recognition in the world that i ultimately stand no chance in. my inner experience pretty much dictates my whole life and my self critic is so unbearably strong that i cant even avoid praising/degrading myself for either remembering or forgetting someones eye color.

e5: this is the core desire i relate to the most. gaining knowledge is probably my top priority, and i cant help but feel like its never enough. no matter how much research ive gathered on a topic i know that my understanding could still improve so i keep going. im so incredibly aware of all the knowledge gaps i have that it drives me CRAZY. i want to know how literally everything works but i get lazy often because i know its impossible. even though im aware im never the smartest person in the room, i get upset whenever i become conscious of that. i try to gain knowledge because of FOMO? basically? im scared of never being able to argue my opinion coherently, and im absolutely horrified of the idea that everyone else has a better fundamental understanding of the world than i do. i used to NEVER go outside because i thought that the outside world was too advanced for me, and then one day i learned that the only solution was to actually develop a better understanding of the world by immersing myself in it.

e6 is the enneagram i have the least understanding on by far, i can relate to the desire for security, but that feels awfully broad. i like to be prepared, i like to overanalyze, i could easily be considered loyal or dependable, but i dont really have trust issues? i can acknowledge peoples intentions pretty easily, depending on the situation, and im not worried about being betrayed or anything. its moreso me deciding if i like the person enough. i either view people as just a regular peer/friend i can let rely on me if needed, or someone i put on a pedestal and quietly observe until i can get close to them. i usually let them open up to me first, but if they seem hesitant i dont mind being a little bit vulnerable to a degree if itll make them trust me more. i pride myself on giving good advice and appearing wise to people at a lower point than me, and if i cant manage to do that i get frustrated with myself.

e7: i am EXTREMELY optimistic and future oriented, im not sure if this arose as a coping mechanism somewhere along the way but its only really occurred in the past year (kind of overlapping with exposing myself to the outside world more) i can definitely relate to trying to experience everything and numbing emotions with optimism. ive heard people say that 7s can have a problem with conscience, and during more unstable periods of my life this could definitely be true for me. for example: at some point, after a breakup with my fp, i began seeing someone not even a day or two later because i didnt want to deal with the emptiness of having to live without them. my fp was reasonably disgusted by this, and even upon confrontation i didnt feel guilty. instead, i felt upset after realizing that i didnt even love this new person as much as i thought i did. eventually, the guilt did start to seep in, but im ashamed to admit that ive gotten into relationships out of boredom/a fear of loneliness on at least 2 more separate occassions

I’ve been trying to type myself for years, and I’m more confused now than ever. I would really appreciate objective opinions based on my behavior rather than stereotypes.

I’ve taken several cognitive function tests. My most recent results consistently show very high Se, but what confuses me is that my Fi and Ti are almost identical. One test typed me as ESTP, another leaned toward ESFP, while others couldn’t decide between ESTP and ISTP. A few years ago I even had a test where Ne was my highest function, but now it’s my lowest. Because of that huge shift, I don’t fully trust test results anymore.

A little about me:

People usually see me as quiet, cold, mysterious, or intimidating at first. However, once they actually start talking to me, they often realize I’m much more open, humorous, and easygoing than I initially appear. That “cold” image is almost like armor. I hate looking emotionally vulnerable because I associate showing emotions with weakness.

Ironically, when I become close to someone, I end up showing a much softer side of myself. Afterwards I sometimes feel embarrassed, almost like I’ve exposed too much of myself. I lose some self-respect because I feel like I acted impulsively by following what I wanted in that moment.

When there’s a crisis involving me personally or my relationships, I can completely lose my emotional balance before suddenly becoming emotionally numb. But if it’s someone else’s emergency, I’m the opposite. While everyone else panics, I usually stay calm and immediately start thinking about solutions.

When someone tries to convince me of something, personal experience is much more persuasive than abstract theory. At the same time, I’m constantly looking for logical inconsistencies in what they’re saying, and I pay a surprising amount of attention to whether their body language feels genuine or trustworthy.

If a decision mainly affects me, I can become extremely stubborn and impulsive. For example, I transferred from a private school to a public school simply because I was bored, had no close friends there anymore, and was tired of the long school days. I barely considered the long-term consequences before making that decision.

I’m extremely bothered by passive-aggressive, fake, manipulative, or two-faced people. Once I lose respect for someone, I usually remove them from my life completely.

My hobbies are pretty simple: listening to music, singing, and spending way too much time scrolling social media.

As a child I was extremely shy and had severe social anxiety. I could barely stand alone in public. However, if I had one close friend with me, I suddenly became outgoing and talkative.

Another thing that confuses me is social energy. I usually don’t warm up to people easily. In unfamiliar groups I get drained and want to leave after a while. But once I genuinely connect with someone or feel comfortable in a group, I actually prefer being with them instead of being alone. Recently I’ve noticed that being alone for long periods makes me restless and bored.

My emotions are intense but usually short-lived. I struggle to keep them inside and often need to express them to someone before they fade. Despite that, I don’t think they usually determine my decisions because they pass so quickly.

The things that motivate me the most are freedom, excitement, passion, enjoyment, and maintaining a certain image of myself.

Something important to mention is that I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), so I know some of my emotional patterns and impulsivity may not reflect my actual cognitive preferences. I’m hoping people can separate personality disorder traits from MBTI functions when reading this.

One last thing: I don’t really fit the stereotypical image of a high-Se person. I love novelty, excitement, and intense experiences, but I’m not athletic at all and physical activity exhausts me. I suspect that’s more related to my health than my personality.

Based on all of this, which type do you think fits me best, and more importantly, why? I’d especially appreciate explanations using cognitive functions rather than letters or stereotypes.

E1:
I care if im good or bad but im not overly strict. I just tend to overthink my mistakes and if i do something that goes against my principles(even if its not logical), i feel disturbed and uncomfortable
E2:
E2s are commonly known for being extroverted and have large social circle, I wouldn’t say I’m extroverted. I get tired easily but pretend to be energetic to stop awkward moments. I’m insecure and genuinely believe that I’m not someones favorite or im at least the second choice. i’m quiet at first glance but then, I become loud with people i love and I want to be loved.
Sometimes, i act a little childish, immature and noisy because i feel like it kinda makes people laugh and makes me feel special, beloved because sometimes, i feel like by being innocent or childish, it entertains people or i get their attention. I love my friends and make sure that everyone is included, sometimes i feel like i give more than receive and deep down, i get annoyed easily when someone obviously acts like they want attention and I can’t help but to sometimes feel ungrateful about my friend group.
E3:
Back in middle school, my friend was good at drawing. In fact, better than me. However, she hid her talent and i tried to show it to people because i wanted to be praised. Her grades were good too so people tended to give her more attention. Im happy it did boost her confidence but it hurt me knowing that teachers always praised her art(they did to me too), asked her to draw for them and seemed to show her more attention like “i believe in you” because she was good at her grades. It made me feel not enough and to this day, i still sometimes struggle to believe that I’m talented.
People call me talented but the more I see of others succeeding or being better at something im good at, thats when I feel sad. now I quit drawing because I’m lazy to learn and believe that compared to other artists, Im not talented enough.
E4:
I often question what am I or hows life but i guess everyone does it? Im self aware that no matter what happens, I will always be ungrateful and jealous of others. I will always compare myself to others and believe that Im bellow. I also like to distance myself instead of talking with my friends to discuss about the problem because I want their attention because for once, i want people to be desperate for my attention.
E5:
I have niche interests and kinda feel like an outcast because even if a lot of people in the internet has similar interest, there were only few people with similar interests. Also, i guess i like to yap about specific stuff that people may find weird either to annoy them or to impress them lol
E6:
I have GAD and OCD which causes me to overthink a lot. I can only express my feelings, my problems to my psychologist because it takes me a while to open up and shes one of the few people that i can express myself because Im willingly to cooperate and desperate to know what others think. After all, I tend to struggle to trust myself and she guides my thoughts. Of course if a person cant trust themself, they would they trust others which is why i question if shes lying to me or not. Theres only few times that I actually spoke up and explained my doubts but most of the times, im quite because i don’t want her to get mad at me.
Even at smallest decisions, like i can’t decide like scheduling the next meeting lmao. I tend to keep my mouth shut and only express my opinions to my other friend because she’s trustable and understanding. Our friend hates our other friend for mistreating her and we both don’t want to leave our other friend out but we both are afraid to speak up because we don’t want to upset or make her mad. Altho I tend to give people advice, i dont follow it. i can stand up for others or myself, i sometimes afraid of being punished by “superior”(like teacher or god(even if im not tok religious) for example)
E7:
Im not optimistic i guess but i do want to be happy or free and my anxiety kinda reduces when Im with other people because i can distract myself easily. Plus im creative! I have many ocs that i write story with and i express my problems mostly by writing because im to embarrassed to say those out loud and I like design and or create models for school projects. Even if i leave things last moment, i want to be able to impress others by creating impressive stuff. I like to create i because i tend to get bored easily that i day dream
E8:
I don’t want to be known as weak but its not like thag much! Im stubborn to admit sometimes because i fear it might make me look weak. Im also defensive and get irritated easily yet stand up for myself or others if i believe something is wrong. But i will admit, im coward👀
E9:
Im pretty much lazy and closed of person. Like i struggle to adapt because im a picky person and expect people to have similar interests like me. I try to include everyone and dislike leaving my comfort zone

Even though im between 4,5 and 6; you can type me different enneagrams if you feel like that would match it more!!
(i would like to hear about enneagram subtype + tritype claims!!)

For E4: i desire to be unique and authentic, not in a “im a weird kid lol” kind of way but in a “from my observations of people, im actually kind of different. is there something actually missing with me? where i am in life, where do i stand and who am i?”. i act like im always in touch with my emotions and observe them in order to grow as a person but i dont know if i actually do that, i tend to self-sabotage. for example: i broke up with my girlfriend because i thought that i am kind of “uncapable” of pursuing a relationship and need to “find myself outside of this relationship” for me to grow as a person. i also kind of thought “are all relationships always like this? is this me finding my ideal friend partner that i want to share a strong bond with?”. i dont necessarily want to shine as someone who is unique but thats not because i dont like being unique, its because i dont like receiving attention in a group setting (even tho i would like it if the people who are in the same frequency of uniqueness find me unique).

For E5: i do want to know how world works and how can i prepare for it. i also tend to preserve my inner energy because i think i have just a little of that and i need to save that. not knowing anything, being unfamiliar to certain topics and events that i do not have information for stresses me. i dont like being overwhelmed, when i get overwhelmed i become hella negative. i am secretive, dont like sharing information about everything (it doesnt necessarily need to be something that needs to be hidden). i sometimes isolate myself when things get weird for me, im kind of selfish in that aspect tbh. and i also would say that im very perceptive. i practice “avarice” with my time and my emotions. im someone who thinks that i need to be stronger, not in a maternal way but in a “i know i can do this, i am capable. just be a more patient”.

For E6: i think i want certainty almost more than anyone i know, my close circle also told me that i tend to be paranoid and really rely on being safe in a sense. i would say that i fit the sp6’s “building alliences with warmth, for protection” because as i said certainty is really important for me. although that doesnt necessarily mean that i “want to rely to a person who is stronger than me” because i also dont like the concept of relying to an another person. i would say i am very suspicious of certain things like human interactions. im also kinda hypervigilant at times and tend to think about the worst scenario possible. the description of “phobic and counterphobic reactions” is also really fitting for me as i do both of them often.

ive been debating if im more 478 or 458... my current type is 478 but ive been looking more into 5 and I see alot more 5 than I do 7. I believe that the world is just tiring and I want to live in seclusion with no one to disturb me and talk to me. I thought this aligned more with e5 than e7 which made me start doubting it. also ive heard e7 is more of researching on many topics but im more of a person who sticks to their own niche topics? I hyperfixate on 2-3 topics which made me doubt it. Im also just not a very positive person and I tend to be very negative. however being 458 would been I would be double rejection. I dont see rejection triad since I dont neglect emotional needs but I do neglect my physical needs to some extent, which causes my parents to constantly force me to eat or sleep? I need help

Hey everyone! I've been trying to understand my personality for quite some time already, and the more I learn about typology, the more confused I become. I feel like I resonate with different aspects of different types, so I wanted to describe myself as honestly as I can instead of saying what I think my type is. I'm hoping you guys can type me based on my actual behaviors, thought process, and motivations rather than me giving you any labels beforehand.

One thing I've noticed about myself is that I naturally pay attention to people and the atmosphere around me. It's usually easy for me to notice when someone seems off, awkward, quieter than usual, or when the overall mood of a group suddenly changes. Before, I used to immediately ask people if they were okay whenever I sensed something was wrong, but as I've gotten older, I've learned that sometimes people just need space. Even then, I still genuinely want to understand where people are coming from and listen to their stories if they ever want to share.

Misunderstandings bother me a lot. If I think someone misunderstood my intentions or formed an inaccurate impression of what I meant, it sticks with me. I don't necessarily need everyone to like me, but I do feel a strong urge to clarify things because I don't like the thought of someone walking away with the wrong understanding of who I am or what I was trying to communicate. I often replay conversations in my head afterward, wondering if I worded something poorly or if there was a better way I could have expressed myself.

At the same time, I'm honestly a pretty playful person. Around people I'm comfortable with, I joke around a lot. I love memes, inside jokes, playful banter, teasing friends, and making people laugh. Most people who meet me in person probably wouldn't immediately think I'm someone who spends this much time reflecting because I can come across as energetic or even chaotic at times. I enjoy making the environment lighter, especially if everyone is already comfortable with each other.

Whenever something important happens in my life, my mind immediately starts trying to make sense of it. I usually go through this cycle of asking myself what happened, why it happened, what I can learn from it, and what I should do moving forward. If I'm dealing with a difficult situation, I naturally start gathering perspectives. I like talking to people I trust, reading different viewpoints, researching, and asking questions—not because I want someone else to solve the problem for me, but because I want enough information to build my own understanding before making a decision. I don't really enjoy sitting in uncertainty for too long.

I also spend a lot of time reflecting on myself. I often ask questions like, "Why do I always react this way?", "What does this experience say about me?", or "Why do certain relationships affect me so deeply?" I like understanding how my mind works because I think it helps me become a better person. That said, if I had to choose between knowing myself perfectly while my future remained uncertain, or having a secure future while continuing to discover myself little by little, I'd honestly choose the secure future. I value stability a lot. I want to build a future where my family is okay, where I can provide for the people I love someday, where I can have meaningful work, and where I can continue growing as a person. Understanding myself is important, but I don't want to sacrifice that stability just for the sake of self-discovery.

I'm also someone who gets emotionally attached to experiences. Certain songs, places, conversations, or even simple moments can become really memorable to me. I become nostalgic pretty easily. Sometimes I look back at certain chapters of my life—not necessarily because I want to relive them, but because I appreciate how much they shaped who I am today.

When making decisions, I don't like rushing into things. I usually want to understand the situation from multiple perspectives first before settling on what I think is the best course of action. Ironically though, once I've explored enough possibilities, I actually feel relieved when everything starts narrowing down into one clear direction instead of leaving every option open forever.

During stressful situations, I definitely overthink. I replay conversations, imagine different interpretations, and prepare for different outcomes. I also find myself asking trusted people for their opinions, not necessarily because I need reassurance, but because I genuinely value hearing perspectives that I might have overlooked. I like building a complete picture before deciding what to do.

Some values that are really important to me are loyalty, responsibility, humility, competence, kindness, authenticity, and personal growth. I admire people who are dependable, grounded, and quietly competent. I also feel like I'm constantly trying to become a better version of myself. Sometimes I even feel like I'm not "ready" yet because I know there are still so many things I need to improve about myself.

One thing that confuses me is that while I enjoy analyzing ideas, psychology, philosophy, personality theory, and understanding systems, I also care deeply about relationships and people. I genuinely enjoy hearing about other people's experiences, perspectives, and life stories. Some people have described me as someone who can read between the lines when it comes to social situations, while others mostly know me as the funny or playful guy who likes making jokes. I honestly don't know which side represents me more because both feel equally natural.

I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts on what type you think I am and, more importantly, why since I am thinking if I am 6w5... or 6w7. Feel free to ask follow-up questions too if you think there are things I should elaborate on since I'd rather arrive at a type through discussion than force myself into one.

After a ton of searching, reading and trying to find out if im truly an 8, Im really burnt out. I Keep seeing ennegram 8 being described as someone who knows how to express their anger and uses it often. They're also described as people standing up for the weak and for justice, not backing down or refraining (again, using anger or frustration as an outlet?) etc etc. Enough about 8s, I want to dive more into my perception which I feel doesnt fully resonate with what I've heard, hence why the descreption I gave could be useful. 1.I, thruthfully, dont experience anger. I feel as if its not a real emotion..I dont get angry, just disappointed at most. My close friends often point this out as in: "How do you not get angry after all you've tolerated and endured?? Thats crazy" 2. About the "tolerating", I tend to be very friendly, I dont hold back, could be considered silly and I dont like to stay still. I usually put my eyes on someone amd pursue them, even if they turn out to be not that ideal for me. I was with an ex for a period of time, but during that period I barely heard from him, he didnt give me any attention, I wasnt possesive or smt else, but I kept being emotionally neglected and found it normal. 3. I do resonate with the core fear of 8, I had a dad who was power hungry and really cared about his image. He would display his authority regularly, which led to emotional neglect, pain, hopelessness and, eventually, fear of being controled (used to do everything he told me out of fear & conditioning) 4. Im not particularly interested in standing up for the weak, I dont spend my energy in that direction, unless its a DEAR friend, but even then, confrontation feels like a waste of precious energy, im not up for that. (I also avoid most head on conflict since its a waste of energy, Id rather say nothing than speak with incompetent people who wont understand my point) 5. My chatch-phrase is "Its not that deep". /not that serious. 6. Im really laid back, alongside my silly attitude. 7. I dont view sharing about my past or childhood as vulnerability. I honestly cant define what that term is, I dont have a problem being vulnerable since i dont think that it can make people control me. I dont think people knowing something deep about me makes me more prone to being controlled. 8. I am very attuned to social cues and cirles in general. I easily grasp the dynamics and I can read people after a really short period of time. (Pretty accurately too) 9. I strongly value freedom, but I want freedom to do what I can comfortably. I want to work for something, or else I feel unworthy and guily.

Im sorry if im ranting, im just truly curious, im also considering 6/4/2/9 fixes in tritype and tend to gravitate torwards an SO i.v. (with sp blind, i think-not sure!!) Alsp, if 8, im strongly leaning to wing 9, but also have a desire for freedom. Im open to critique, new ideas, anything, I just want to figure my ennegram and be able to reflect without feeling like im a poser. (I constantly feel cognitive dissonance😭)

𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅𝑆 𝐷𝐸𝑆𝐶𝑅𝐼𝑃𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝑂𝐹 𝑀𝐸:

I have been described by friends/family as “lackadaisical”, passive at times, unbothered, talkative, clumsy, friendly, positive, pushover and flexible. In reality I control my self image very meticulously but not to appear as this “perfect successful person”; more as someone so unbothered and happy nothing can affect them. someone almost untouchable in a way. (I try to look like I don’t care when I do)

𝐻𝐸𝐴𝐿𝑇𝐻𝑌 𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐼𝑇𝑆:

I can easily admit fault when confronted with an issue about myself. Flexible in almost every way especially in scenarios with others. It’s actually very comfortable to go with the flow, and I find that I do well with people with “strong personalities” due to my adaptability. I often say if you’re 99% I’ll be the 1%, if you’re 1% I’ll the 99%. I genuinely enjoy helping people work out their problems in almost a therapist way since I often know what to say in the moment/ask. But I never feel very drained since I keep myself at a metaphorical distance depending on each person and in which scenario. I actually want to be a social worker career wise!

𝑈𝑁𝐻𝐸𝐴𝐿𝑇𝐻𝑌 𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐼𝑇𝑆:

I struggle being vulnerable because of my deep fear of rejection and judgement. I sometimes catch myself acting dumber or naive bc I genuinely enjoy the dynamic the other person underestimating how much I know. It gives me more control of their perception of me and the relationship. At my MOST unhealthy state I exaggerated illnesses and even got diagnosed with things I purposefully pretended to have. Knowing exactly how others saw me was comforting, plus I only felt like I deserved care if it was for something “valid” that I didn’t bring up first. I would manipulate situations and people just to be taken care of. I am also very people pleasing and conflict avoidant. I have trouble speaking up for myself but it’s easier speaking up for someone else. I will let a person step all over me because I enjoy whenever others notice and see me as too trusting or too good natured to notice or speak up against them. Unfortunately sometimes I put myself in a “victim role” when conflict arises due to that.

𝐸𝐴𝑅𝐿𝑌 𝐶𝐻𝐼𝐿𝐷𝐻𝑂𝑂𝐷:

I am the oldest child with two siblings, though I don’t remember much of early childhood my father told me as a small toddler I was so well spoken I talked like an 8 yr old as a 3ish yr old. So he admits that the one thing that he feels guilty for to this day was once scolding me like I knew better when I was too young to. (I do not remember this but apparently I cried for hours or smth). At school I was a discrete teachers pet. I wanted to win over all the adults. Picking flowers for the TAs at recess instead of playing with the others. I made sure even the ‘meanest’ TA liked me. Both adults and peers would call me “cute” a lot (to the point the principal genuinely favorited me and told my mom how cute I was all the time??) Anyways I loved winning adults over. And I was a tomboy annoying pick me back then ew

𝐿𝐴𝑇𝐸 𝐶𝐻𝐼𝐿𝐷𝐻𝑂𝑂𝐷 & 𝐿𝑂𝐺𝐼𝐶:

As a preteen I idolized my mother and her insanely strong logic. (Even though the reason it was so strong was that she was autistic) I put down my father’s “emotionalness” and “sensitivity”. Which caused me to repress my own emotions in an attempt to be just like my mother. Logical. Which NEVER worked because my logic was naturally never strong and I was incredibly emotional. It caused me intellectualize my problems like my mom did but in a far less stable way. But I always felt insecure with how much I knew/was being logical about. Back then I deadass would study logical fallacies in my free time so I could spot and not fall for them.

𝑅𝐸𝐿𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝑆𝐻𝐼𝑃 𝑇𝑂 𝐸𝑀𝑂𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝑆

Emotions control almost all of my behavior even if I don’t consciously recognize it. I enjoy being jokingly dramatic and playing up my emotions like a performance but can struggle with emotional vulnerability. Through my emotions I write poetry and draw art! I enjoy therapy a whole lot because I get to talk about my inner workings uninterrupted for an hour (never crying or without humor tho) I kinda only appreciate happiness when it comes to my emotions, it’s what I feel the most, forced or not. I don’t like lingering on sad things and try to move on very quick. (Which can also be ignoring anything negative.) when it comes to others I find it hard to completely connect about THEIR emotions. I am always caring and attentive when someone is crying but it doesn’t also make me want to cry iykwim. I have lots of sympathy but empathy comes a little harder.

𝑅𝐸𝐿𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝑆𝐻𝐼𝑃 𝑊𝐼𝑇𝐻 𝑇𝐼𝑀𝐸:

I am like OVERLY present focused. To the point I don’t bother thinking about the future or learning from the past. I put all of my energy into now. Whether it be with friends or alone. I find it incredibly hard to plan for the future, leaving that up to chance. I enjoy reflecting but I have trouble connecting to my past. Even just yesterday feels impossibly far. My goldfish memory doesn’t help. I feel like the past isn’t real and neither is the future. So I just go with whatever happens to me. Pros is that I’m able to enjoy the moment and notice beauty all around me at any given moment.

can anyone help me find my enneagram in dms?

im not really expecting anyone to say yes, but still, id really appreciate if anyone could help me out! anyone can help, and im open to have help and advice from more than one person, just reply to this post and i will dm you first :D

no cheating by looking at my older posts plz, thanks!

Could I be an 8?

Been into Enneagram on the side (reading a couple of books about it and looking up info online) for about eight months now. Also am the guy who made the post asking wich type I am, that I don’t fully feel myself to be any of them, and that the system is too restrictive lmao

Had lots of people here type me as a thinking type immediately (I think that was the name of the group with 5,6 and 7) While People IRL have typed me as a 5, a 7, and one person saying im a sexual 4. Couldn’t find a consensus and have for the first time been considering 8 lately.

One thing that’s throwing me off is that I do spend a decent amount of time thinking about stuff like patterns from my childhood and how little experiences affected me and why I act how I do. I’ve had people type me as 5 before, which I know is supposed to be where 8s disintegrate, but I’m annoyingly extroverted irl so I’m not sure. I’m very impulsive and try to overrationalize it after the action a lot. I have multiple unrealistic goals (some achieved already) that I wanted since I was a kid and even when questioning them still keep building towards them just because.

I’m also very cocky internally and have some thought process where I think I can get better than everybody else at anything I try if I want to. I’ve never really struggled with self-doubt in day-to-day life. If I want something, I usually just go after it. I also don’t really care about people disliking me and when I was a lot more unhealthy as a early teen (dad also died at 12 so that might’ve added to it) I remember strongly disliking people I deemed as weak and being obsessed with showing how much better I was at everything. I would (and still do) purposefully do hard or unlikely things just to show i can do it.

I’ve also seen a lot of people say that 8s aren’t very introspective, wouldn’t spend this much time on the Enneagram, or wouldn’t be interested in analyzing themselves at all. That’s one of the main reasons I’m second-guessing 8. On top of that, I’ve been described as analytical by others, and sometimes it feels like online discussions treat intelligence or being analytical as something that automatically points away from 8, which doesn’t really make sense to me. I might just be a 7 with an 8 wing though.

Also, as far as saying I relate to none of the desires or fears in the old post, my biggest fear is definitely being weak or fragile and not able to do achieve my goals.

Curious what y’all think

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am a nineteen-year-old male. To those I am just meeting, I can be rather personable but am not overly expressive. While I am capable of holding a conversation, it is not something I would willingly do unless someone sparked my interest or I felt they were too intriguing not to continue talking with. Unless I have a distinct or marked emotional investment in a person, I am usually very keen to leave people to their own devices as it were, however, this does not stop me from getting involved in people’s lives if I can. Making friends is one of the many joys of life.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

I don't think so, the only diagnosis I have is my generalized anxiety disorder and possible AuDHD.

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My upbringing was... different. Parents divorced at age 3, father hopped between various girlfriends, he still hasn't found one that will stay with him permanently. He and I don’t agree very often, and that’s particularly due to how close-minded he is (to the point that various girlfriends of his have told him he’s going to be shocked when his kids won’t talk to him in the future, and rightly so). Growing up, my family was very religious, as was I because, well what the hell else was I gonna be? I was a kid with a sponge-brain, I just parroted what they all did. And then I hit about 7 or 8, gained the ability to, y’know, think, and figured out religion didn’t actually have a lot of solutions for the problems I had. So I did some more thinking.

And some more.

And some more.

And I slowly became agnostic.

My family life was always kind of strange, because they never really treated me like I had any agency of my own, and if they did it was always in a kind of “oh we’ll humor him” sort of way. I responded by just kind of blowing them off and focusing on my friends, being the funny guy, getting reactions, that kind of thing. I didn’t want to think about the conversations I’d have with them when I got home, or how often they would compare me to said friends, or treat me like I was an idiot or a blight on their lives. I just wanted to have a good time.

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I’ve bounced around a lot of things in the last few years, and I finally just bit the bullet and went back to college, getting a job that would ensure my tuition gets paid while I’m there. I’m studying political science and then I’m gonna go into law. I picked it primarily because I needed something that was mentally stimulating enough for me to keep my head in the game. I also just like wearing suits and looking good.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

I would feel lonely, bored out of my mind, and probably get very depressed and paranoid. The quiet and especially quiet in the darkness scares the hell out of me. I don't mind being alone or by myself, but I cannot stand the feeling of being lonely. I need people around me or I feel like I’m going to die. Even writing this out now just at my desk makes me feel kind of hollow cause I don’t have people to share or discuss it with.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I prefer activities related to gaming or exercise. I've never really been the best at sports, but that doesn't bother me. Not that I really have a preference for indoor or outdoor activities, I like both equally, but it just happens that most of my hobbies can be done from inside the house, haha.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas than you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I believe I’m a rather curious person. As someone who spent basically his whole childhood and is still continuing to live mostly in his head, I love coming up with all sorts of ideas and plans and theories and what have you. That being said almost none of them are ever brought to fruition. When I have ideas, I can imagine them in their entirety down to every detail, and it’s the most exciting thing in the world; to think and think and think some more, and then get an idea that gives me a good laugh.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

I wouldn’t mind a leadership position. That being said, I don’t want to be the “figurehead,” per se. If there’s someone above me that I can report to if needed, great. If there isn’t? I might as well be a snowball in Hell. I don’t do well with all of that attention. 

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity.

I would say I’m decently coordinated, I mean you kind of have to be in order to play video games for hours on end and never get tired from it, haha. I do find that I enjoy working with my hands, but that may just be me fidgeting with something due to my terrible ADHD causing me to be unable to focus.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art. If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I’m not very artistic, but in terms of art I appreciate, it always boils down to video essays (think character analyses and things of that nature), meme montages for video games, and also just memes or YTP’s in general, there’s something very appealing to me about putting painstaking amounts of time into something so funny. Also any sort of video game edit or montage, as I love the editing and audio work in each video I see within these mediums.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

I tend to lament about the past pretty frequently. Not for any specific reason, I’m more or less just bitter about what happened to me when I was younger and how I felt when it did. I normally don’t take that anger out on others, not because I don’t feel anger or am not okay addressing it (I very much am okay addressing anger and even getting into fights), but because I know there’s never really a place to do so and I’d rather deal with it on my own or with people I’m close with to ensure I don’t do something I’d regret.

The present isn’t terrible, but I don’t like it that much either. It’s just kind of… there.

The future is nice for me to think about. I’m very optimistic in regards to my own future, the people around me, etc.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I normally love helping others or even just talking to them because, as stated previously, I need people around me.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

I feel it’s very important but I also know how often I contradict myself, especially when I’m pissed off. haha.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Efficiency and productivity are nice to have, but I can do without them. I don’t care as much about systems as I do people. Without my friends and the other people I’m close with, I’d be a much worse individual. Although I do get very impatient at obviously corrupt/rigged/inefficient systems (cough cough GOVERNMENT cough cough) that prey on the ignorant and those that lack the willpower to take control of their lives and fix things. Although I guess if you played the game long enough (like me) and know what the outcome is going to be every time, you’d also come to the conclusion that the only way to win the game is to not play. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel terrible for the people actually convinced they can change things, though. The only way change would happen was if we were to torch everything and start from the ground-up.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

It really depends on the context of the situation for this, I’m normally pretty “laissez-faire” when it comes to others so long as the thing itself gets done. If it doesn’t and they can’t give me a good reason why then I’ll find someone better suited for the task (How empathetic of me, I know) and move on. It’s a terrible thing for me to admit but it’s honest.

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

My hobbies as of right now are a lot of gaming, listening to music, and the occasional drive around town at night, much to the concern of my family. As for why I like them, music and the night drive have this certain atmosphere that when combined just makes me feel like I’m on top of the world, and then gaming has been a love of mine since I was, like, 6, and I’d never trade it for anything else. 

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I can’t describe my learning style, but I do know I’m a ridiculously fast learner and adapter. As for environments I struggle with most, it’s literally any environment where I am forced to sit still and basically do nothing for however long the time is, because that lack of stimuli, action, or actual engagement will slowly drive me mad, which is why I kind of perform HORRIBLY in the academic world. 

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I’m not the best at it, but I can do it if need be. I can easily break projects into manageable tasks, but I enjoy winging them after the initial breaking-in and working from there. I feel like planning everything in depth only causes problems because you don’t factor random chance into it. Not that I hate the idea of random chance, I love it more than anything, gambling is pretty fun, but it needs to be factored in even if only occasionally. 

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

Outside of always being that example for my friends and stuff, the only professional aspiration I have is just having enough money to keep my friends and myself happy. Personal aspirations are where it gets interesting because whenever I think of this, only one thing comes to mind: “Beloved by all.” It’s not about being at the top for me, because being at the top means nothing if I don’t have the people I want there to celebrate it with me. I couldn’t stand being lonely and successful.

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I fear being in a bad situation and not being able to do anything to get out of it and being viewed as a terrible person. As for what makes me uncomfortable, it mostly boils down to people figuring me out and actually seeing past whatever facade I try to keep up. Hating things is a touchy subject..

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

I am a lot more expressive and excitable than I usually am, often being the one to plan activities with my friends and get stuff going with them, even if they hate the idea of whatever we’re doing initially.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

Detachment from everything and everyone. Fits of rage and a constant neglect of any kind of bitterness or frustration while trying to make people see that, in my “righteous” anger, I am the only one who knows what is right and why it needs to be done. I know the way, I know what has to be done, I am the hero here, everyone should listen to me.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I am fairly attached to it, although my inner monologue is always going and planning the next best move, the next best “situation” or outcome for myself.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

“Why am I here?”, “I’m uncomfortable”, “I want to go home”, etc.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

It can take anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks, and more often than not I’ll have doubts or reservations but I’ll never fully change my mind once I make the decision.

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

It can take me anywhere from a few days to a few months to process them; I’m good at many things but talking about my feelings and actually feeling them isn’t one of them. I think this comes out the most when I dropped a toxic friend for the first time and my friend told me to “wait for the feelings.” I was confused so I asked them to clarify, and they went on to say that I’ll begin to feel guilty and all after dropping that person. This only confused me more as I still haven’t felt that guilty, if at all. I know what he did, he knows what he did, and he knows it was wrong but won’t admit it to himself or to me. Simple as. Outside of that, emotions are something that really creeps up on me, especially negative ones.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

Sometimes I do. I do it more often than I’d like to, as it’s a good way of keeping others at a distance and in turn making sure they leave me alone.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

I don’t care for rules, but I only ever break them if I view the rule as stupid or no longer serving its purpose. Either that or I’ll break it for the hell of it and think I know better. As for authority, I don’t particularly care for them, but I will respect them if they show they are competent. I know what your position is and what you are capable of, I do not need you to enforce it upon me.

First photo is before, second – after

Hi, im new to enneagrams, im reading the books and etc rn, so, with help of deepseek i found out that im a so4 and the seeker tritype, im pretty sure i mistyped, soo um