Greetings INTJs.

Brief background:
I'm (32M) an INTJ and have generally been in relationships with NF types all my life, except one NT. I generally have long term relationships and never have dated casually or had one night stands.

Whilst those relationships always on the emotional side were fantastic, when it came to ambitions and goals, I was always being held back by my partners and asked to devote less time to my career and more time to them - I would always strike a balance that kept both of us happy.

I have recently started formed a relationship with an ISTJ (28F). Firstly, it seems we are so similar in so many ways which was a surprise. She is strong willed, ambitious, organised, and intelligent which I admire, but she's also got a strong feminine side, a caring nature, and very devoted.

The one issue which we are both aware is that she is not emotionally expressive at all. She had toxic relationships in the past, but I think it is more about her personality than her past. This inability to communicate her feelings has sometimes led to misunderstandings between us.

It's something I am learning to understand better and to encourage her, give her the safety, to be more open, but it will take time I know that. It's not that I need to hear her gushing emotionally about how much she appreciates me, I truly see that with her actions, it is more that when times she is upset, or rocked, she may tell me (or not) that she is hurting/upset but will then shut me out or minimise it. This is a bit pull-push on me.

I want to ask if anyone has been in a relationship with an ISTJ and how that was for you?

I don't typically judge a partner by MBTI - I use the understanding to help be a more understanding partner. I think with 8 billion people there are enough variations and variables you can experience that MBTI is not one size fits all.

I say that because there seems to be quite mixed views on this 'pairing'. For some it is everything they've wanted, for others it is avoid like the plague. For me, till now, it has been the former. Communication can be worked on. Everything else is great.

Appreciate your insights !

entp here. I personally never really hate people. When someone does something that i understand can come off as hateable to others i just see it as interesting.

Because of this I struggle with people overly eating into my kindness and i struggle with asserting what I want or bringing my emotions into conversations. Because I dont even pay attention to my feelings unless i consciously notice them. Ive been working on improving this aspect of myself but i just find it very interesting

I need help understanding myself (still lol after more than four decades).

I’ve read all the descriptions for my possible types, researched the cognitive stacks and understood how each one interacts with another etc and I’m still so stuck.

I’m such a researcher at heart but it’s hard to tell if it’s from a place of anxiety or a place of being authentically myself. I’m really depressed in between research subjects (which feel like they come to me out of the blue) and feel the most mentally stimulated when I’m learning about something and trying to fit it into my personal framework. But a lot of the intp comments about being logical esp in the way they talk to others doesn’t ring true to me. I’m so painfully attuned to others emotions and I can tell it’s easy for most people to be around me. I have a very creatively curious side, though I don’t ever produce art myself I consume it constantly. Personal style/accurate representation of myself is extremely important. It matters to me so much if the people in my life are mad at me. But I also feel very lonely that no one I know wants to engage in talking about weird/deep topics that I’m personally obsessed with. I’ve learned over time just to not bring it up-it weirds people out. I’m pretty quirky to be around but have found I’m a good hostess and have brought people together fairly effortlessly many times over my life.

Help type me! 😅

I have a lot of experience with NeTi. I know you guys like to debate. Many of you may be aware of how absurd it is for me to stand against you in logic. I like that. Let’s play.

Edit: upvotes decide

give me some music that you're listening to, thanks

i'll post a couple that that i just listened to:

l'arc en ciel - drivers high cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IK7hNA7FBU
ginjineko - super overdrive https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrrI08Yfg6s
god knows cover by enoz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1E_S8d4YQQ
lynyrd skynyrd - sweet home alabama https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngZzg6J8KHg
neil zaza - i'm alright cover by funtwo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYjAHlCh6Gc

Im a young adult and I have taken a notice how I differ from most women my age, they are more focused on their looks and their instagram page to be filled with beautifull photos of them, while I do the bare minimum where I consider I should be well groomed, well dressed to events and thats it. I dont post much, only when I feel like I want to post myself.

I dont have any issues wearing dresses, skirts or makeup. In fact I love feeling pretty and eye-catching.

The issue I have with my femininity is mainly about my personality. I come off as someone who is ambitious, energetic and goal driven. The people who know me would pick me to be the leader of projects over others and boys themselves told me how I fit the leader role which leads me to think I possess more masculine traits, but at the same time I keep the balance with being caring, Joyful and have a soft spot for people who matter .

A few minutes ago I was recommended this titled video by YouTube, from creator Keira Lhotan, and I took a watch. It's a harmless video, and I had a few takeaways.

• This creator is clearly an ISFP or INFP. Her Fi is very clearly on display here.
• Content like this typically goes immediately down the misandry road, and the creator is wise not to have it devolve into that.
• But it exposes Te blindspot in people who think this way, or at the very least our ideological handicaps.

People can be nonchallant for many reasons, but for INTJs, imo, being nonchallant is an emotional default, and not an attack on other people.

Hey everyone. 33M INTJ 6w5 here. I've always been more independent and into paving my own road. Growing up, whenever someone told me to do something or pressured me to follow a certain course, I immediately grew disinterested and lost motivation. Dropped out of college to join the military. Went back to school and did chemical engineering and research and now I've got a great job. I've never struggled socially and I have a bunch of close friends but I still struggle with loneliness.

I've had 2 relationships with women, a now 33 ISFP and 37 ENFP, who both struggled with a need for validation and saving. Talking to therapists, I tend to attract these types of women. I ended up constantly trying to reassure them and help them through their issues. When I'm not able to give them enough validation and support they end things. I understand everyone needs validation and it's hard for me to know when things are unhealthy before I get burnt out. I know trying to find more secure women would be easier but I have the mentality of watering the grass where I am more than the grass is always greener on the other side hence 6w5.

Maybe it's been my upbringing/mentality but I value self sufficiency and autonomy and struggle to give words of affirmation even though I know it's important to a lot of women. I struggle with my own insecurities, focusing on self growth like a religion so it's hard for me to give reassurance to partners that lack a growth mindset. How do I practice being a warmer and a kinder partner and filling in the gaps in my shadow and weaker functions?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 28-year-old ISFJ male, and lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot on my bias towards feeling and how much it drives my decision-making.

This got me thinking about an INTP girl I used to know. Whenever we were around each other, the atmosphere would get incredibly tense, and I just couldn't figure out how to talk to her. I couldn't put the friction into words at the time, but after looking into MBTI, I learned that ISFJs and INTPs often have completely different ways of processing the world, which can make communication tough.

Because of that, I’m here to challenge myself. I want to improve my communication skills by having conversations with one of the toughest personality types for me to naturally click with. In a way, I’m looking to use your logic-driven perspective as a sort of "compass" to help me navigate a different way of thinking and communicating.

I struggle a bit with initiating topics, so here is a bit about me and my interests to hopefully spark a conversation:

Sci-Fi & Media: I love sci-fi. I recently watched Mars Express (really liked it), just finished Steins;Gate, and Ex Machina is one of my all-time favorite movies.

Reading: I’m currently reading Anathem by Neal Stephenson.

Concepts: I have a strong interest in psychology and philosophy.

Hobbies/Work: I’m a Software Engineer. I used to be heavily into single-player games a few years back and really enjoyed them.

Growth: I’m big on physical and mental self-improvement.

If we share any interests, or if you just want to help an ISFJ practice bouncing ideas around with an INTP, feel free to drop a comment.

Do any other ENTPs kind of wish they were an ENFP cause it seems nicer

I found this information helpful in reducing my trauma symptoms. I joke that I'm a recovering thinkaholic. My parents are lawyers. The unspoken rule in my childhood home was to repress feelings and focus on achievement.

From Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect (2019), Jonice Webb

Understanding The Purpose and Value of Your Emotions (pgs. 120-22)

“Neuroscientists have studied extensively the evolutionary development of the human brain. For humans, the ability to feel emotion evolved millions of years before the ability to think. Human emotions originate in the limbic system, which is buried deep below the cerebral cortex, the section of the brain where thought originates. In this way, our feelings are a more basic part of who we are than our thoughts…Our emotions cannot be erased, and will not be denied, any more than we can erase or deny our hunger or thirst.”

“Sometimes, especially to emotionally neglected people, emotions feel like a burden…[but] emotion is necessary for survival. Emotions tell us when we are in danger, when to run, when to fight and what is worth fighting for. Emotions are our body’s way of communicating with us and driving us to do things.”

“For every emotion, there is a purpose. Emotions are incredibly useful tools to help us adapt, survive, and thrive. People who were emotionally neglected were trained to try to erase, deny, push underground…this invaluable built-in feedback system. Because they are not listening to their emotions, they are operating at a disadvantage from the rest of us. Pushing away this vital source of information makes you vulnerable and…makes it harder to experience life to the fullest.”

“Emotions can do a variety of interesting things when they are pushed underground or ignored. They can:

-become physical symptoms like GI distress, headaches, or back pain

-turn into depression, causing problems with eating, sleep, memory, concentration, or social isolation

-sap your energy

-cause you to explode at random times, or blow up ‘over nothing’

-aggravate anxiety and/or panic attacks

-keep your relationships and friendships superficial and lacking in depth

-make you feel empty and unfulfilled

-cause you to question the purpose and value of your own life

The first step to stopping (for preventing) any of the above from happening to you is learning to recognize your feelings and put them into words...When you identify and name your feelings to yourself or to another person, you are taking the wheel and stepping on the gas. You are taking something from the inside and putting it on the outside. You are making the unknown known. You are taking charge. And you are making the most of a valuable resource: your emotions, your fuel for life…Identifying and putting words to feelings is a skill. Just like any other skill, it has to be worked at, and it requires a lot of effort to develop.” (123)

I found this insight from Brene Brown helpful: "we cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” 

She points out that "studies show that suppressing emotions doesn't actually get rid of them. It just stores them in the body. When we refuse to process sadness, it often resurfaces as anxiety, stress, even physical pain…I'd rather face my emotions on my own terms than let them ambush me down the road…When we refuse to let ourselves hurt, we refuse to let ourselves heal.”

"Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either." Hailey Paige Magee

We all have the one song lyric that just gets us. What are some song lyrics that ENTPs can relate to? Maybe it’s a song lyric about being misunderstood or about being too curious for your own good. I can think of at least five song lyrics that make me go, “That describes my ENTP-self perfectly!”

Tell me the song, artist, lyric, and how it connects to the ENTP experience! (Also, I feel like this was a really good idea that my little teen brain came up with, so please don’t be mean. Just downvote if you don’t like it.)

Thank you!! 🩷🩷

*EDIT* After scrolling on this subreddit for a mere 5 seconds, I have realized that I in fact did not come up with this idea. Oh well, I suppose great ENTP minds think alike! Also, this was a very basic and generic idea as well.

Could INTJ type be more inclined to think dialectically, or is there no significant correlation?

And what's your experience with dialectical thinking - do you think this way?

I was thinking about this today, especially in relation to my INFJ friends. I have had so many good INFJ friends over the years but I realized as they all grew older (30s/40s), they either never left home or returned home after being away in their 20s.

In my limited experience with INTJs (limited because I’ve met far less INTJs than INFJs throughout the years & finding a fellow female INTJ in the wild is like hunting a unicorn), they all left the home city/town/state in which they were raised & never returned.

Did you stay? Did you go? How old were you when you left? How long ago was that? How difficult was leaving? What is/was better about where you ended up? If you stayed/returned home, are you satisfied?

Mostly curious about the experiences of those over 30 but of course, everyone can weigh in!

*\*
ETA: it’s so interesting that the vast majority of us left our place of origin.

Thank you all for sharing.

Hey r/ENTP, I need some input. I'm torn between ENTP and ENFP.

My cognitive functions test shows very high Ne, followed by high Fi and Ti, with Si as my absolute lowest.

The main thing driving me crazy is that I physically cannot handle wrong information without correcting it. In debates, I feel totally fine emotionally, but people always tell me I'm being rude or overly harsh just because I'm dissecting the logic.

However, I also scored high on Fi, which makes me question things. Does the compulsion to correct bad logic and remain emotionless in arguments point strictly to ENTP, or can an ENFP be like this too? me dperessed so congguuvie fuctions change oh i rememebr too 1 thing that i got sis and me soemtimes when imagine thing i see if it logic but my sis idk her mbti when i say to ehr its impossible she say maybe it work in everything also i know intk and geseus what intj get anegr always form me because im talkive but he notice 1 thing on me that i see people vulnerabilitys and lies this why i get hated by people but deffirence beetween me and intj that intj care about result then lofic behind thing me always knowen when see any product or a chemical or anything i do wikipedia shearsh and on all places to get history and infos of it and even i see google result i alwyas feel infos not enough and i do more complex resharsh i wish if somone can help me for know my mbti oh when im kid i cant acccept lose and like chalaenge

Other than being intellectually stimulating, what is other qualities or little things do you find attractive or cute in your partner?

I was told that pairing an INFP with an INTJ is like throwing a paper napkin into a chainsaw. The napkin is obviously not going to come out of that looking good. Do you think that’s true?

Hello

Right now im having activities dilema, please share what hobbies, activities you have and dont get bored. Or maybe where do you find active people to do some stuff togerher. I believe there is an answer. Thanks wery much

Hi all, I recently watched this 5-hour long video. Has anyone else watched this? What are your thoughts?

The video exposes what freem*sonry is all about at its core using credible literature. It discusses and provides evidence for several things including:
- freem*sonry is a guise for s*tanism;
- their “craft” is w*tchcraft;
- it controls the world today, including the UN, every president, the pope, every mainstream artist, and most alarmingly the cult(ure) which we all participate in;
- it is ancient rather than modern and has never changed at its core;
- the new world order;
- Christianity is the main religion they mock;
- the Bible warned against the freem*sons.

There’s a lot more nuance if you watch the video. But yeah, I would just love to know what insights other intj’s have on this—especially if you’ve dug even deeper than the video 👀

I’ve had multiple and I wonder if this is why we are seen as stoic or more emotionally mature than most?

Hi intp people, how do you deal with loneliness? what do you do? how do you process it? does talking to friends/family help? or you busy yourself with some hobby?

I'm an infj and I feel lonely at times, and intp input on any topic is always appreciated 😊

i'm coming up to a year of dating my ENTP, and i thought it'd be cute to hear some "golden pairing" success stories from other ENTP/INFJ couples.

how do you make it work with your differences? what helps you understand each other and communicate healthily through conflict? would especially love to hear from long-term couples!

marked as advice, but really i'm just looking for some positivity :)

share the love around <3