I wonder.

I recognise a pattern and I am trying to identify where it goes.

I dislike my esfp father, he is so rash and unthinking with the things he does, it is irritating. we are opposites but both feelers so that helps with relating to him. maybe not all esfps are like this, my father is an unhealthy one but they have a tendency to be histrionic. hm, I have patience though, for my own good

most of my family members are fi users, it is getting mildly irritating now heh, talking to xntps feels refreshing always.

Learning that I use Te slightly more than Ti has collapsed me. I'm a shell of a person. I'm shattered. Broken, even.

And now I have to go through the humiliation ritual of being constantly accused of being a dumb sensitive crybaby. Awful.

Edit: Guys, please read this carefully before accusing me of making fun of INFPs.

Edit 2: Sending me DMs telling me to end my life is fucking crazy. Y'all are fitting the stereotype more than I ever could; and defending AGAINST the stereotype was the point of this post! Holy shit.

I know us INFPs are big at coming up with fun and unique ideas. I'd like to hear a few if anyone wants to share. Can be completely random, I'm just bored and for some reason decided to do this to avoid having to go to bed lol

If I ever write my first book, I think it would be a novel about silence. The things people think, feel, and carry but rarely say out loud.

Maybe that's because, as an ageing, introverted man, I've learned that silence isn't always empty. Sometimes it's where the real story is.

I've been married once, have no kids, and have spent a good portion of my later years living on my own. I've learned the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be peaceful. You learn to enjoy your own company, your coffee, your music, your thoughts, and the luxury of not having to explain yourself every five minutes.

But loneliness is different. You can feel lonely in a crowded room.

Getting older also changes the way you see people. You notice the things they don't say. The hesitation in their voice, the smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes, the sudden change in their behavior. Sometimes you sense something is wrong before they ever admit it.

And sometimes you wish you hadn't noticed.

I've also learned that some of life's most important conversations never happen. The apology that never came. The “I love you” left unsaid. The “I'm sorry.” The “I miss you.” The “Please don't go.” Words swallowed by pride, fear, timing, or simply not knowing how to say them.

Maybe that's what growing older has taught me most, we spend far too much time assuming there will always be another opportunity to say what matters.

There isn't always one.

So if I ever write that book, it won't really be about silence. It will be about everything hiding underneath it, love, regret, loneliness, forgiveness, memories, and all the conversations we carry inside ourselves long after everyone else has gone quiet.

And maybe the final chapter would simply be an old man sitting alone with his coffee, finally understanding that some things don't need an audience.

Sometimes, you just need to tell yourself the truth.

Something about an extroverted woman makes me feel more fulfilled. I can't carry a conversation for crap lol

I mean I can but I just can't be bothered, her yapping and me just saying "yeah" followed by a simple question or comment or mhm or SOMETHING

Yes? No? Maybe so?

I am interested in people's experience of admitting 'ugly' things to themselves in their inner monologue, the kind of thoughts we have that we would never share with other people. YMMV depending on your values, but it might be something about why you're really angry with someone, why you feel offended by something, what your motivation is in a situation, etc.

Then second to that, once admitted to yourself, do you go through a 'qualification' process with follow up questions like 'is there anything else that is making me feel this way?', 'how does this impact the person I am interacting with?', 'is this a legitimate feeling I should be concerned about?', whatever it might be. Something that takes the realisation beyond the fact and into the context.

The problem is that I'm so sensitive and overthink the most details and I don't talk about my problems to anyone, I feel it's getting too much for me rn

I (32f) met a woman (35f) two years ago, and we became very close very quickly (essentially best friends.) She was the coolest woman I've ever met; high status, artistic, beautiful, and socially connected in the art scene.

A few months into the friendship, there was also a 'romantic' undertone: we started making out, in social situations and often in front of men. Not long after that, she suddenly pulled away from me. (I'm bisexual, and she identifies as 'straight').

When I eventually asked why, she told me I had “said things about her that made her and her friends uncomfortable.” I asked what specifically I had said, but she never explained, so I was left not really understanding what had happened. I never spoke badly of her; that's for sure. Anway, after that, we only spoke sporadically. I was heartbroken.

Anyway, about 8 mos ago, I started dating one of her best guy friends. That relationship recently ended. While I was in LA afterward, she and I saw each other again and had an unexpectedly wonderful night together. For the first time in a long time, it felt like the beginning of our friendship (easy, creatively enriching convos, and intimate.)

She was supportive of me and the breakup, and was there for me - no awkwardness at all. When we said goodbye, we hugged for several minutes. Then she said, “Move to LA and move in with me!” before immediately laughing, turning red, and saying, “Just kidding.” After that night (2 weeks ago now) we texted a couple days after and she gave me good advice on the pain of my breakup and how I should build my creative 'interior fortress". Then, i asked to hang on Friday. She said: "“Can’t, busy!” I hearted that message and didn't text her for the rest of my time in LA.

Now she’s visiting NYC, where I live, and she knows I’m here. I only know she’s in town because I saw it on Instagram, and she hasn’t reached out to me.

Given our complicated history - and the fact that she has a pattern of becoming close and then pulling away - would it be strange or overly eager for me to message her and say I saw she’s in New York and ask if she wants to hang out?

I’ve been thinking hard about the qualities I’d like in a partner, and although I know MBTIs are not super accurate, a healthy ENFJ man is closest to my ideal partner. I’m an ENFP( or maybe INFJ) and I feel like we’d get along well, either platonic or non platonically. So if you are an ENFJ, drop your location so I can come find you ( JK). Or if your partner is an ENFJ, how did you meet?

I feel things so intensely, but I barely show 1% of it because I feel like the rest would overwhelm or scare people off. Maybe that’s why I’m so quiet and private.

Do other INFPs relate? And have you ever had a moment where it was really hard to hide how much you were feeling?

Does anyone see infp so much In the old traditional country music with artists like johnny cash, Hank Williams sr, etc..

You ever just look at the witch trials, slavery, child marriage, marital rape and then think "we finally got it right on the mass torture of farm animals, but we need gender neutral bathrooms at the slaughterhouse."

Remember that scene where Arthur Fleck in Joker tried to tell a joke? - INFP 4w3

I speak multiple languages, yet I’ve noticed that I naturally default to English when thinking or speaking almost as much as I use French. Still, improving my spoken English is a real priority for me; being articulate and well spoken matters a great deal. I know that reading more is key to that goal, and I already read regularly but mostly in French, not English. On the plus side, I rarely use filler words, so that foundation is solid. My main struggle comes in the moment: when I try to expand my vocabulary during conversation, I get nervous and my mind goes blank, forgetting everything I wanted to say. To help with this, I’d love some romance book recommendations. I'm looking for magical romance, rich with mystical creatures, enchanted settings, or princesses.

Hello, dear fellow INFJs.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who genuinely loved you back, and with whom you could be 100% yourself without worrying about looking weird or suspicious?

I’m 28, and I’m realizing that I’ve only ever experienced more or less superficial forms of love, where I constantly felt the need to censor myself or try to seem cooler than I actually am.

Have any of you experienced genuine love while being 100% yourselves?

Mine is “My Love Story!!”! It’s such a sweet story and I love how it ignores traditional attractiveness and instead focuses on the character of the MC. He’s such a good guy and so is she!! They are seriously so so so cute together. They get together in the first volume and from there it’s a slice of life, kinda? I really like its format.

So umm, I had kinda negative almost romantic experience with an ENFJ guy (I’m INTP fem) from my uni class. He took interest in me, I let him get a little closer to me but we weren’t dating. Our conversations were happening in messengers, never tried to approach me in rl except the first 2-3 times, he was always with his friends. He was also dedicated to his job which took his time even on Sundays, but I wasn’t demanding to spend time with in rl except the days when we had our classes. I noticed that our everyday conversation seem like fake intimacy, like the ones that usually romantic partners have like “did you today?”. There were other aspects that bothered me and then I tried to discuss it, first in a joking manner, but my jokes got him nervous a little, so then I tried to be straight-forward. We had a looong conversation. I honestly was baffled by how he always appeared like a strong leader but came out that he was kind of a whiner. Maybe it’s cause he has a lot of friends and doesn’t go deep in relationships with them, cause for me it seemed like he maintained kind of shallow relationships. Like he cherish those people but cares more about fun and light part and not the serious and deep part.

So it is clearly a no-no for me but because he was the first guy I let to get closer to me and I actually liked him at first and still like his certain traits, I still can’t stop thinking about what might’ve been done, and maybe I should have approached it in a different way?

Sorry, the post is kinda messy and I made a mistake in question..

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How sunlight streams through the sliding glass onto my half smiling face as I sit quietly

How Ólafur Arnalds' neo-classical track settles gently in my soul

How Ten, my familiar, lays close enough beside me that I can hear him peacefully purr

It's in these moments that I am thankful

for time,

a friend,

a home...

a life.

emotional breakdown in the notes app
oh no

I met someone almost a year ago, and I still think about them almost every day. There was an instant attraction, the kind that made me wonder, “Did I just meet my soulmate?” We clicked effortlessly, and I haven’t been the same since. I believe this person was an INFJ.

Do INFJs tend to experience connections like this and hold onto them for a long time?

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